Yes :) It is funny. One variant I know has the atheist saying "Faith may be nice and all, but have you got a rope?". He remembers far too many dead and wounded who expected Faith alone to save them,... from which the old saw "God helps those willing to help themselves!".
If I heard a voice like that, I think it would be a sensible idea to go looking for an alternative. I've seen believers kills themselves because they trusted in God.
My dad was a believer, and I learnt early not to trust. He believed, but his instinct kept him safe. His instinct didn't extend to this bastard child.
If I personally heard the voice of God while hanging from a cliff, things might be different. The atheist argument is that there's absolutely no evidence to support the claim that anyone, anywhere, at any time, has heard it.
Hey I know also a great joke: god is looking for a place to go on vacation. So he goes to s. peter and asks:- s. peter do you have a sugestion where i could go on vacation?
- What about the moon?- Sugests s. peter
-No, it's very lonely!- Says god.
-And the earth?-replies s. peter.
-Also no. I have an affair there, two thousands years ago, with a jewis girl and they still talking about it. haha
Do you believe everything you read on the internet?? Especially Wikipedia where anyone can put whatever they want on it. Maybe you should consult a real professor instead of your google look-up strategy.
Wiki is actually a pretty good source. It's better than your "recollection" of what you heard in class - IF you did. But your statements sound more like the unsupported crap spewed by people like Bill O'Reiley. You want to support an argument you just pull statistics from another planet (Uranus).
Oh that's really cleaver I have never heard that joke before Uranus ha ha ha. That's cleaver. Did I tell you that I never heard that before. That is a new Joke to me! That is so funny. Encase you didn't get that, I was being sarcastic. Also I never said it was "recollection" actually I have notes that I am looking at right now.
Beaver Who? (You wrote "cleaver" instead of "clever"; is that also what your professors taught you?) Anyway, these notes you were looking at...where did you go to college/university? Who were these professors? What sources did they cite? I'm just asking, because when you make assertions, you need SOME kind of reference to cite.
How about you shut up and I leave you with nothing? It is a lot better to leave people like you alone with their own stupid thoughts. That way the only one that gets hurt or even cares is you.
How do you know I won't accept it? You know nothing about me. It's just that you haven't presented any evidence. All you have said is that your professors told you. That isn't evidence. You need to show what evidence they cited. It's that simple.
No it isn't simple. I could show you the evidence but it wouldn't make a difference. You don't know God right? Well what I know is that if you want evidence then you aren't going to be able to believe from it. The only thing that is going to make you believe is if you have faith and I can't give that to you. It's hopeless, just forget it.
What it sounds like is that you are relying on pure faith. For the record, I used to be extremely religious, as a "fundamentalist" of sorts, in fact. Then I saw too much "evidence" that I had been wrong, and that my own professors had been wrong. That's my experience. I don't question your experience, as such. But evidence that is only evidence from a starting-point of faith...well...
What you need to learn is that all evidence is from a starting point of faith. If you don't believe the evidence to be true evidence then does that make it untrue?? No, it doesn't. It all depends on faith. Your whole life is based on faith. There are people who see a lot of evidence that we didn't actually land on the moon but that doesn't mean that the evidence they saw was true.
Well, first off, we're still dealing with the issue of evidence, whether we accept it on faith, or not. Am I supposed to just have faith that your assertions are correct? You've given me nothing, except assertions, to accept in any capacity.
No I haven't. there is plenty of evidence and it is all around you. It is obvious that everything was designed intellectually and not just an accident. So don't give me that crap about me not having or showing you any evidence, you have no excuse it is all around you. Either you accept it or you don't. You would have to have complete knowledge of the universe to understand how it was created so all you can do is have faith.
The issue we've been discussing is not about whether there is design in the universe or not. It is about your assertions that during Jesus' time some people were living 200 years or more.
Blah blah blah blah. I'm soo tired of talking to people on here. It is so boring and so stupid. If you want answers go find them yourself. I don't care if you think I have no proof. I don't even know you. Why do I keep wasting my time with you people?
I tried to send a reply a few minutes ago, but it didn't seem to go through. Sorry if it finally does, and to get a repeat. Anyway, if you're tired of talking to us, why do you continue to do so? I never said I thought you had no proof. I only asked what evidence your professors gave that people in Jesus's time often lived past 200 years. Even the Bible doesn't mention such long-lived folks for that time in history. I wonder what makes you so angry.
flarawr, I bet you have faith because you were told that you were a worthless sinner and the only way you could ever be anything more was to believe in god. It is a standard cult tactic.
You shouldn't assume things. Actually I have faith because I realized on my own how worthless I really am compared to the universe and I realized that even if I was the best on this planet it wouldn't make any difference because when I die what atheists say is that I will disappear forever and everything I did was in vain. But I also realized that when people die they don't just disappear forever and I realized that everything had to have been created by God. That's why I have faith.
flarawr, sounds like I was bang-on to me. Only the person that convinced you that you were worthless was you. Then you convinced yourself that you would only become something through god. You made your own cult around god just like so many other people with low self esteem do. Your life is not in vain without god, your life is vital to future generations. They will be grateful for your work just as you are grateful for those that came before you.
I guess you just don't understand that if everything is how atheists say then it wouldn't matter what people thought of you. You wouldn't even exist anymore after you died. In those terms nothing matters but the short time you live. So why live trying to help others?? I would live only for myself and I would party until I didn't exist anymore, that way I wouldn't waste my time not having fun.
flarawr, it is only natural that you would treat other people the way you would want to be treated because if you act like a dick then everyone is going to think you are an ass and have nothing to do with you then you will have a lonely life. Anyone with a brain knows that if you are good to other people then that goodness will be returned to you.
Lol! Just get something from the bible and prove my point. God tells us how to live a good life, without him we are nothing. Don't try and tell me that God doesn't exist when you can't even come to a correct conclusion without the bible.
flarawr, well, I know many people without god that are great people. There is nothing good in the bible that cannot be found outside of the bible yet there are many good things outside of the bible that are not in the bible.
You can label anyone as a great person and say that there are things that are good that the bible doesn't say but for one thing if you haven't read the whole bible then you can't really say that can you? Also no one is perfect and you can come to realize that everyone has Evil in them, It's human nature. But Jesus was perfect and he paid the price for all Sin so that if you want to go to heaven you have the choice.
flarawr, I have read the bible many times and written many papers on it for it was my textbook in the christian privet schools my parents sent me to. Jesus paid no price because he came back to life. If I told you that I would give you anything you wanted if you would just die for three days and then come back to life, you would do it wouldn't you? I would.
He went to hell. Also he went from being God and seeing all of time and knowing everything to being just a man with God's spirit. You can't imagine how that would have been for him.
Not only that but his death was very brutal. They beat him so badly you couldn't even tell that he was human afterword. I would never want to die that way.
flarawr, you wouldn't take a beating if it could save all your friends and family and allow you to live immortal in paradise? I would, without hesitation. I still don't see any sacrifice.
Dude if someone did that for you you wouldn't be grateful to them?? If someone died for you and you had never seen them before but you knew that they gave you immortality and happiness you wouldn't be completely devoted to them?? That's pretty stuck up if you wouldn't.
flarawr, Jesus came out ahead in the deal and I never asked for him to do it. Grateful, sure. Worship, no. I would do it for you if I could come back in 3 days, wouldn't you?
Jesus is God he created you. That is the reason you worship him. Actually no I wouldn't do it for people that hate me no I would say screw them and only save the ones that love me. Wouldn't you?? I don't think you would want to save your enemies.
flarawr, Jesus said to love your enemies. You don't? I have no evidence that god created me, also, I didn't ask him to. My parents created me and they don't ask me to worship them.
Are you really that unintelligible to what I am trying to get across to you?? No I don't love all of my enemies and neither do you and no one does. People aren't perfect but Jesus is perfect and he does love all of his enemies. Your parents didn't create you God created you your mother merely held you until you were born. That is far from creating you.
Your parents didn't create you. Like I said Your mother only held you inside her until you were born, she didn't create you. You don't even know God and you don't know who he is, if you did then you wouldn't have to have evidence but you instead are seeking something that will be given to everyone in the end of their days.
flarawr, no one can know god because he doesn't talk to anyone. And my parents did create me, and they raised me too. God didn't lift a finger, yet they don't ask me to worship them.
Really? And if you have never herd him speak how can you say that with all honesty? you were created inside your mother but your mother didn't do anything but sit around and wait for you to be born. Your father didn't do anything but have sex with your mother. THEY DID NOT CREATE YOU. Don't be so ignorant.
flarawr, did you digest your last meal or did god digest it for you? My parents created me the same way you digested your last meal: with their bodies.
No one outside of the bible has ever heard god speak. Have you heard him?
Yes my body which was created by God digested food. Woman's bodies could not create a baby without God creating her first. Yes I have heard him speak. He speaks to me everyday and I speak to him everyday. Through the bible and through my heart I can hear him but I know that is too hard for you to fathom.
flarawr, I have met a lot of priests and preachers and none of them have told me they can talk to god. I don't even think the pope has claimed that. Why do you think he talks to you and not them?
Because they don't actually know God especially not the priests and the pope. They believe that God doesn't want to talk to them or hear them because he is angry. But I know God and I know he just wants to have a loving relationship with his adopted children.
Not to worry about it. That it's not global warming that's going to destroy earth but it is going to be fire but not global warming. And that I am not going to die so he doesn't want me to worry about my own physical death because it will only be for a short while. But it will start getting a whole lot hotter in a short amount of time but that isn't what's going to destroy the earth.
Yeah whatever, you just don't know. Oh and I would never hurt anyone and I am not crazy I only know the truth. Everyone thought that Benjamin Franklin was crazy about electricity until he demonstrated it but he knew the truth, he wasn't crazy. Think about it.
A lot of people can think what they want but even if I was like Hitler, you wouldn't be able to stop me or do anything because you don't even know who I am. I can pretty much guess that your an atheist though because not many of any other religions call me crazy because I know God.
Wikipedia is actually one of the best sources of information. Every last bit of information put on it must be cited with a source, or it's literally removed within less than a minute. If one person tries to put up false information, there's millions of other people waiting to fix the error.
The world average life expectancy in the early 20th century was 30-40 years. The current world average is 66.12 years Today in the US the overall average life expectancy at birth is 78.06 years.
The lowest life expectancy in the world is Swaziland at 32.3 years. The lowest life expectancies today are in sub Saharan Africa. There is generally less industrial pollution there than in America, but poverty, disease and war are the prime determinants of short life expectancy, not pollution.
Even if you put it that way. War didn't have the capability of large scale killing that it does today. There wasn't as much disease because there were less toxins in the air and most people had their own cattle and stone houses and were considered poor but they lived in moderate conditions.
They don't wait until a real rescuer comes along. They deny every rescuer that does and they make up their own reason why they fell. But they don't have anyone that will save them but themselves and they can't do anything for themselves anyway.
Actually that is false. Before all of the machines and before all of the things science created we lived for hundreds of years. Also Science can't save you from Death. Everyone will die. It can't make you immortal. So it doesn't help you.
There is no evidence whatsoever that anyone lived the long lives told of in Genesis. That's nothing but bronze age fantasy. If you believe that any man actually lived over 900 years you are a very credulous person indeed.
I just did look it up, sonny. And I posted it in comments above. I would have to say you misunderstood your professors. People live longer today than at any time in history. There is no verification of the ages claimed in the bible. hat noah started building an ark when he was 600 years old is just as likely a story as that a donkey could talk or a snake could talk AND walk. The fact that many, even millions of credulous people believe it doesn't make it true.
A woman was at the beach with her children when her four-year-old son ran up to her, grabbed her hand, and led her to the shore, where a sea gull lay dead in the sand.
"Mommy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to heaven," the mother replied.
Her son thought a moment and then said, "And God threw him back down?"
During a flood, an old man takes shelter on a house. A young man in a boat goes by and says "old man, here, get in my boat!" "No thank you," the old man replies, "God will provide for me." A little while later, a middle age man in a boat goes by and invites the old man to join him. The old man says "Oh, no thank you, God will provide for me." Just as the water is reaching the roof, a final boat, pilot by an old man, is seen. Again the old man is asked to join, and again he refuses.
Of course, the poor old man drowns. He meets St. Peter at the gate and says "Oh, St. Peter! Why didn't God save me?" St. Peter gave the man an exasperated glance and said "He tried! He sent you three boats!"
Adam is feeling awfully lonely after God has created him. He calls up to God and says, "It's pretty boring here. How about you make me an equal, someone to kill time with?"
God replies, "Ok, I'll make you an equal. But for that I shall require your right leg, your right arm and your right brain half. Then I can make you a mate that is equal to you in every way."
Harsh terms, Adam thinks to himself. He weighs the pros and cons before finally replying,
Husband walks in the bedroom and finds other man with his wife. He throws him out the window from a 10th floor. While falling down lover starts to pray. Please God help me! I will change: I ll start going to church,I ll quit drinking,I ll never cheat my wife again, I ll spend more time with children..Oooh God please..please help me I.. Suddenly truck with hay appears and lover falls in it and survive. He stand up. look around and say:" I really talk crap when I m scared."
two hipies are on the edge of the empire state and this guy leans out the window and tells them to come in before they get hurt. one of the hippies jumps of. Just before he is smashed to pieces he stops and levitates back to the ledge. the guy says how did you do that and the hippy answeres its easy just think flip before you hit the ground and the guy dives out the window and is splattered on the pavement. other hippy turns and says gabrial for an angel you are a bastard sometimes.
Cute joke. Sounds like the kind of story a pastor would tell, except their ending would be convoluted and illustrate why we should trust their god! I like yours better.
I don't understand why we have Atheists. Let me put it this way. If the Atheists were true and there was no god, then what would they lose if they believed in something? No harm done right. And if there was a god indeed then they followed a good path and they should end up in heaven. So neither way, there won't be any any consequences, right?
Why should atheists believe in something just for the sake of believing? I mean, do you go sit on Santa's lap every Christmas holiday and spout it your wish list -- just in case? It makes just as much sense for someone who doesn't believe in a higher power to pretend to believe in one as it does for you to pretend you believe Santa exists . . .
Cute Joke, Largo. I predicted the end, but that's just because I'm totally awesome.
Well I guess you are right but I think people should go for what they believe in. So I guess that defeats my first comment because you could believe in Atheism. Well anyways, we should all live in peace. Thanks for the comment
Well, I understand why we have religious people: it's because some of us are so deathly afraid of admitting to what we don't know that we concoct explanations and an afterlife to make ourselves feel better. However, science has been removing the explanation of god from every frontier since the first studies and experiments were done. How long will you have left to hold on to your superstitions and bad arguments for god that are "imaginary fire insurance"?
Tutankhamun, the same reasoning applies to practically EVERY god, goddess and higher power imaginable which are purported to matter in some hereafter. Also, the argument can be reversed, i.e. what if some god rewards skepticism and punishes faith? Further, you assume that one can simply choose to believe (leprechauns, anyone?) and that some god is equally satisfied with belief and feigned belief, or can't differentiate.
well harm is when you condeem gay and homosexsuals, when you go around claiming that we are all bad ppl and needs to be safed,
But you are using Pascals wager, you are basicly thinking that you can cheat god, because your playing the safe bet and not believeing, you really think God will fall for that trick? ill rather die at the Hands of all times bastrd than to join him in skyworld for eternity
well that is a false dichtomy because it presents only two choice there are more than two choices like islam, judism, hinduism, believing in thor, and countless other gods that could possibly maybe exist, so why don't you believe in them what if you get to the after life and thor greets you ready to smite you with his mythical hammer??? what then???
i geuss you better start reading up on all religions "more than 10,000" and start praying to all the gods that might possibly maybe exist right?
Yes :) It is funny. One variant I know has the atheist saying "Faith may be nice and all, but have you got a rope?". He remembers far too many dead and wounded who expected Faith alone to save them,... from which the old saw "God helps those willing to help themselves!".
RyuDarragh 1 year ago
If I heard a voice like that, I think it would be a sensible idea to go looking for an alternative. I've seen believers kills themselves because they trusted in God.
My dad was a believer, and I learnt early not to trust. He believed, but his instinct kept him safe. His instinct didn't extend to this bastard child.
chunuma 1 year ago
If I personally heard the voice of God while hanging from a cliff, things might be different. The atheist argument is that there's absolutely no evidence to support the claim that anyone, anywhere, at any time, has heard it.
suumr 2 years ago
athiests are soldiers of the civilized world.
teflonKONG09 2 years ago
Very True !
gblueslover2 2 years ago
doh!!
Maybe the voice wasn't god, maybe it was an enemy of his, or someone in his will :D
ThePipersNicks 2 years ago
lol what dumbass would live b in the edge of a cliff
DRdisaster007 2 years ago
Haha Really? Even when he hears God he won't believe in him?..
dancekrazzy 2 years ago
not that funny.
GlobalFantasyDirect 2 years ago
good joke. Who would listen to that?
wombatwacker 2 years ago
Good story telling, good stuff.
GBXS 2 years ago
ahaha
GBXS 2 years ago
I came up with another joke T shirt
"I wrote a magical realist novel and all I got was this lousy Fatwa!" -Salmon
NegativeNick 2 years ago
lmao even though i am a practising catholic
watermaster1994 2 years ago
Hey I know also a great joke: god is looking for a place to go on vacation. So he goes to s. peter and asks:- s. peter do you have a sugestion where i could go on vacation?
- What about the moon?- Sugests s. peter
-No, it's very lonely!- Says god.
-And the earth?-replies s. peter.
-Also no. I have an affair there, two thousands years ago, with a jewis girl and they still talking about it. haha
itookabath 2 years ago
Nice one. I'm going to remember that one.
6stringbadger 2 years ago
Also I am not talking about the early 20th century I am talking about 4 thousand to 5 thousand years ago . Way before what you are talking about.
flarawr 2 years ago
From Wikipedia, but I'd pit them against your memory of what professors told you.
Humans by Era: Average Lifespan at Birth (years)
Average life expectancies in history:
Upper Paleolithic: 33
Neolithic: 20 (stone age)
Bronze Age: 18 (Old Testament Hebrews time)
Classical Greece: 20-30(around 500 BCE)
Classical Rome: 20-30 (including the first century in which the alleged Jesus lived)
Again, before you state thing with such certainty, at least trouble yourself to use Google.
Largo64 2 years ago
Do you believe everything you read on the internet?? Especially Wikipedia where anyone can put whatever they want on it. Maybe you should consult a real professor instead of your google look-up strategy.
flarawr 2 years ago
Wiki is actually a pretty good source. It's better than your "recollection" of what you heard in class - IF you did. But your statements sound more like the unsupported crap spewed by people like Bill O'Reiley. You want to support an argument you just pull statistics from another planet (Uranus).
Largo64 2 years ago
Oh that's really cleaver I have never heard that joke before Uranus ha ha ha. That's cleaver. Did I tell you that I never heard that before. That is a new Joke to me! That is so funny. Encase you didn't get that, I was being sarcastic. Also I never said it was "recollection" actually I have notes that I am looking at right now.
flarawr 2 years ago
Beaver Who? (You wrote "cleaver" instead of "clever"; is that also what your professors taught you?) Anyway, these notes you were looking at...where did you go to college/university? Who were these professors? What sources did they cite? I'm just asking, because when you make assertions, you need SOME kind of reference to cite.
fpenkava 2 years ago
How about you shut up and I leave you with nothing? It is a lot better to leave people like you alone with their own stupid thoughts. That way the only one that gets hurt or even cares is you.
flarawr 2 years ago
I simply made a request for sources. Why are you so angry?
fpenkava 2 years ago
I'm just sick of arguing about something I already know, to people who are never going to accept it ,no matter how much evidence I present.
flarawr 2 years ago
How do you know I won't accept it? You know nothing about me. It's just that you haven't presented any evidence. All you have said is that your professors told you. That isn't evidence. You need to show what evidence they cited. It's that simple.
fpenkava 2 years ago
No it isn't simple. I could show you the evidence but it wouldn't make a difference. You don't know God right? Well what I know is that if you want evidence then you aren't going to be able to believe from it. The only thing that is going to make you believe is if you have faith and I can't give that to you. It's hopeless, just forget it.
flarawr 2 years ago
What it sounds like is that you are relying on pure faith. For the record, I used to be extremely religious, as a "fundamentalist" of sorts, in fact. Then I saw too much "evidence" that I had been wrong, and that my own professors had been wrong. That's my experience. I don't question your experience, as such. But evidence that is only evidence from a starting-point of faith...well...
fpenkava 2 years ago
What you need to learn is that all evidence is from a starting point of faith. If you don't believe the evidence to be true evidence then does that make it untrue?? No, it doesn't. It all depends on faith. Your whole life is based on faith. There are people who see a lot of evidence that we didn't actually land on the moon but that doesn't mean that the evidence they saw was true.
flarawr 2 years ago
Well, first off, we're still dealing with the issue of evidence, whether we accept it on faith, or not. Am I supposed to just have faith that your assertions are correct? You've given me nothing, except assertions, to accept in any capacity.
fpenkava 2 years ago
No I haven't. there is plenty of evidence and it is all around you. It is obvious that everything was designed intellectually and not just an accident. So don't give me that crap about me not having or showing you any evidence, you have no excuse it is all around you. Either you accept it or you don't. You would have to have complete knowledge of the universe to understand how it was created so all you can do is have faith.
flarawr 2 years ago
The issue we've been discussing is not about whether there is design in the universe or not. It is about your assertions that during Jesus' time some people were living 200 years or more.
fpenkava 2 years ago
Blah blah blah blah. I'm soo tired of talking to people on here. It is so boring and so stupid. If you want answers go find them yourself. I don't care if you think I have no proof. I don't even know you. Why do I keep wasting my time with you people?
flarawr 2 years ago
I tried to send a reply a few minutes ago, but it didn't seem to go through. Sorry if it finally does, and to get a repeat. Anyway, if you're tired of talking to us, why do you continue to do so? I never said I thought you had no proof. I only asked what evidence your professors gave that people in Jesus's time often lived past 200 years. Even the Bible doesn't mention such long-lived folks for that time in history. I wonder what makes you so angry.
fpenkava 2 years ago
flarawr, I bet you have faith because you were told that you were a worthless sinner and the only way you could ever be anything more was to believe in god. It is a standard cult tactic.
ndyt 2 years ago
You shouldn't assume things. Actually I have faith because I realized on my own how worthless I really am compared to the universe and I realized that even if I was the best on this planet it wouldn't make any difference because when I die what atheists say is that I will disappear forever and everything I did was in vain. But I also realized that when people die they don't just disappear forever and I realized that everything had to have been created by God. That's why I have faith.
flarawr 2 years ago
flarawr, sounds like I was bang-on to me. Only the person that convinced you that you were worthless was you. Then you convinced yourself that you would only become something through god. You made your own cult around god just like so many other people with low self esteem do. Your life is not in vain without god, your life is vital to future generations. They will be grateful for your work just as you are grateful for those that came before you.
ndyt 2 years ago
I guess you just don't understand that if everything is how atheists say then it wouldn't matter what people thought of you. You wouldn't even exist anymore after you died. In those terms nothing matters but the short time you live. So why live trying to help others?? I would live only for myself and I would party until I didn't exist anymore, that way I wouldn't waste my time not having fun.
flarawr 2 years ago
flarawr, it is only natural that you would treat other people the way you would want to be treated because if you act like a dick then everyone is going to think you are an ass and have nothing to do with you then you will have a lonely life. Anyone with a brain knows that if you are good to other people then that goodness will be returned to you.
ndyt 2 years ago
Lol! Just get something from the bible and prove my point. God tells us how to live a good life, without him we are nothing. Don't try and tell me that God doesn't exist when you can't even come to a correct conclusion without the bible.
flarawr 2 years ago
flarawr, well, I know many people without god that are great people. There is nothing good in the bible that cannot be found outside of the bible yet there are many good things outside of the bible that are not in the bible.
ndyt 2 years ago
You can label anyone as a great person and say that there are things that are good that the bible doesn't say but for one thing if you haven't read the whole bible then you can't really say that can you? Also no one is perfect and you can come to realize that everyone has Evil in them, It's human nature. But Jesus was perfect and he paid the price for all Sin so that if you want to go to heaven you have the choice.
flarawr 2 years ago
flarawr, I have read the bible many times and written many papers on it for it was my textbook in the christian privet schools my parents sent me to. Jesus paid no price because he came back to life. If I told you that I would give you anything you wanted if you would just die for three days and then come back to life, you would do it wouldn't you? I would.
ndyt 2 years ago
He went to hell. Also he went from being God and seeing all of time and knowing everything to being just a man with God's spirit. You can't imagine how that would have been for him.
flarawr 2 years ago
Not only that but his death was very brutal. They beat him so badly you couldn't even tell that he was human afterword. I would never want to die that way.
flarawr 2 years ago
flarawr, you wouldn't take a beating if it could save all your friends and family and allow you to live immortal in paradise? I would, without hesitation. I still don't see any sacrifice.
ndyt 2 years ago
Dude if someone did that for you you wouldn't be grateful to them?? If someone died for you and you had never seen them before but you knew that they gave you immortality and happiness you wouldn't be completely devoted to them?? That's pretty stuck up if you wouldn't.
flarawr 2 years ago
flarawr, Jesus came out ahead in the deal and I never asked for him to do it. Grateful, sure. Worship, no. I would do it for you if I could come back in 3 days, wouldn't you?
ndyt 2 years ago
Jesus is God he created you. That is the reason you worship him. Actually no I wouldn't do it for people that hate me no I would say screw them and only save the ones that love me. Wouldn't you?? I don't think you would want to save your enemies.
flarawr 2 years ago
flarawr, Jesus said to love your enemies. You don't? I have no evidence that god created me, also, I didn't ask him to. My parents created me and they don't ask me to worship them.
ndyt 2 years ago
Are you really that unintelligible to what I am trying to get across to you?? No I don't love all of my enemies and neither do you and no one does. People aren't perfect but Jesus is perfect and he does love all of his enemies. Your parents didn't create you God created you your mother merely held you until you were born. That is far from creating you.
flarawr 2 years ago
flarawr, there is lots of evidence that my parents created me. There is zero evidence that a god created me.
I do show my enemies compassion for I believe in the old saying, "keep your friends close and your enemies closer."
Even if someone found evidence that we were created by a god there is no evidence that that god is the god of the bible.
ndyt 2 years ago
Your parents didn't create you. Like I said Your mother only held you inside her until you were born, she didn't create you. You don't even know God and you don't know who he is, if you did then you wouldn't have to have evidence but you instead are seeking something that will be given to everyone in the end of their days.
flarawr 2 years ago
flarawr, no one can know god because he doesn't talk to anyone. And my parents did create me, and they raised me too. God didn't lift a finger, yet they don't ask me to worship them.
ndyt 2 years ago
Really? And if you have never herd him speak how can you say that with all honesty? you were created inside your mother but your mother didn't do anything but sit around and wait for you to be born. Your father didn't do anything but have sex with your mother. THEY DID NOT CREATE YOU. Don't be so ignorant.
flarawr 2 years ago
flarawr, did you digest your last meal or did god digest it for you? My parents created me the same way you digested your last meal: with their bodies.
No one outside of the bible has ever heard god speak. Have you heard him?
ndyt 2 years ago
Yes my body which was created by God digested food. Woman's bodies could not create a baby without God creating her first. Yes I have heard him speak. He speaks to me everyday and I speak to him everyday. Through the bible and through my heart I can hear him but I know that is too hard for you to fathom.
flarawr 2 years ago
flarawr, I have met a lot of priests and preachers and none of them have told me they can talk to god. I don't even think the pope has claimed that. Why do you think he talks to you and not them?
ndyt 2 years ago
Because they don't actually know God especially not the priests and the pope. They believe that God doesn't want to talk to them or hear them because he is angry. But I know God and I know he just wants to have a loving relationship with his adopted children.
flarawr 2 years ago
flarawr, so... what does god tell you about global warming?
ndyt 2 years ago
Not to worry about it. That it's not global warming that's going to destroy earth but it is going to be fire but not global warming. And that I am not going to die so he doesn't want me to worry about my own physical death because it will only be for a short while. But it will start getting a whole lot hotter in a short amount of time but that isn't what's going to destroy the earth.
flarawr 2 years ago
flarawr, you need help before you hurt yourself or someone else. Hope you get it soon.
ndyt 2 years ago
Comment removed
flarawr 2 years ago
Yeah whatever, you just don't know. Oh and I would never hurt anyone and I am not crazy I only know the truth. Everyone thought that Benjamin Franklin was crazy about electricity until he demonstrated it but he knew the truth, he wasn't crazy. Think about it.
flarawr 2 years ago
:) God Bless you
dancekrazzy 2 years ago
You know, a lot of people thought hitler was crazy too, but that turned out O.K in the en---
Oh. Right.
jojojohnpau 2 years ago
A lot of people can think what they want but even if I was like Hitler, you wouldn't be able to stop me or do anything because you don't even know who I am. I can pretty much guess that your an atheist though because not many of any other religions call me crazy because I know God.
flarawr 2 years ago
Wikipedia is actually one of the best sources of information. Every last bit of information put on it must be cited with a source, or it's literally removed within less than a minute. If one person tries to put up false information, there's millions of other people waiting to fix the error.
iamericwhite 2 years ago
It's not like I don't know that but I have seen many unreal statements on it that are ridicules.
flarawr 2 years ago
If I am wrong then tell me because I have heard it many times before from many professors.
flarawr 2 years ago
It's pretty obvious. If you take away all of the pollution that we made from machines on the earth then you get longer living people.
flarawr 2 years ago
Facts:
The world average life expectancy in the early 20th century was 30-40 years. The current world average is 66.12 years Today in the US the overall average life expectancy at birth is 78.06 years.
The lowest life expectancy in the world is Swaziland at 32.3 years. The lowest life expectancies today are in sub Saharan Africa. There is generally less industrial pollution there than in America, but poverty, disease and war are the prime determinants of short life expectancy, not pollution.
Largo64 2 years ago
Even if you put it that way. War didn't have the capability of large scale killing that it does today. There wasn't as much disease because there were less toxins in the air and most people had their own cattle and stone houses and were considered poor but they lived in moderate conditions.
flarawr 2 years ago
You are already past school (unless you are a grad student). Obviously history was not your focus.
Largo64 2 years ago
hey largo am here
bishopb7 2 years ago
You did the punchline really good.
Chriskct 2 years ago
That guy was too afraid. Either way he would have died. Why not die with hope??
flarawr 2 years ago
Whats wrong with hanging on until the real rescuer comes along? Like science does?
MilesB1975 2 years ago
They don't wait until a real rescuer comes along. They deny every rescuer that does and they make up their own reason why they fell. But they don't have anyone that will save them but themselves and they can't do anything for themselves anyway.
flarawr 2 years ago
Hah, that's laughable...
Are you seriously trying to tell me that Science is incapable of saving anyone?
Go and jump if you like, we will lose nothing by your falling obviously.
MilesB1975 2 years ago
Yeah I am. Science can't save you from death. alright, I will but I would like more people to be saved but it's not up to me anyway.
flarawr 2 years ago
Well, a doctor saved my father from dying of a heart attack. Which is more than you can say for any priest.
Do you realise we live on average twice as long as we as humans used to , thanks to SCIENCE..?
MilesB1975 2 years ago
Actually that is false. Before all of the machines and before all of the things science created we lived for hundreds of years. Also Science can't save you from Death. Everyone will die. It can't make you immortal. So it doesn't help you.
flarawr 2 years ago
I bet the bible told you that hey?
It's a fact, backed up with historical physical evidence, we live much longer today thanks to medicine.
If you are so keen to live in your afterlife, why not kill yourself NOW, if this life means so little to you.
I bet you won't because you are so afraid of simply dying. How sad for you.
MilesB1975 2 years ago
There is no evidence whatsoever that anyone lived the long lives told of in Genesis. That's nothing but bronze age fantasy. If you believe that any man actually lived over 900 years you are a very credulous person indeed.
Largo64 2 years ago
Actually it is scientifically proven that people lived up to 200 years old in the time of Jesus because of the earth's atmosphere and clean air.
flarawr 2 years ago
Scientifically proven? Where did you get that? VenomFangX?
When you say something like "scientifically proven" it's a good idea to give a citation. I think you pulled that "scientific proof" out of your ass.
Largo64 2 years ago
Well maybe instead of insulting my knowledge you could go and see if I am right.
flarawr 2 years ago
I just did look it up, sonny. And I posted it in comments above. I would have to say you misunderstood your professors. People live longer today than at any time in history. There is no verification of the ages claimed in the bible. hat noah started building an ark when he was 600 years old is just as likely a story as that a donkey could talk or a snake could talk AND walk. The fact that many, even millions of credulous people believe it doesn't make it true.
Largo64 2 years ago
yeah, anybody up there that's not a friggen liar? LOL
good one.
holybabble 2 years ago
lol...nice one larry :)
maidenfucknrulz666 2 years ago
A woman was at the beach with her children when her four-year-old son ran up to her, grabbed her hand, and led her to the shore, where a sea gull lay dead in the sand.
"Mommy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to heaven," the mother replied.
Her son thought a moment and then said, "And God threw him back down?"
foxtrot77777 2 years ago
Hahahahaha!!!
Leave it to kids to cut through the BS!
Largo64 2 years ago
:) ;)
foxtrot77777 2 years ago
brilliant!
FA113 2 years ago
: ) thanks M8.
foxtrot77777 2 years ago
oh thats a good one
loveandmojitos 2 years ago
llllllllllmmmmmmmmmffffffffooooooollllllllllllllllllllllll.
jrev37 2 years ago
It appears the only thing he let go of was his religion,BWAHAHAHAHA thanks, 5x5.
foxtrot77777 2 years ago
Thank you for the laugh, I really needed one given my and my fiance's current health haha.
Apoch666 2 years ago
Good one Larry. I also liked CousinoMaculs take on it.
tenori4 2 years ago
Hahaha! Brilliant! ^^
ShadowReubenKee 2 years ago
hehe
funincluded 2 years ago
hahaha, i like it
PissedOffAtheist 2 years ago
I believe in God, but that sure ain't gonna stop me from finding this joke very funny. :) Anyone who wouldn't takes themselves waaaaaay to seriously.
GabuEx 2 years ago
lol :)
crazyhairball18 2 years ago
Nice joke. Works for the Satanists as well!^^
BlackWaltz5 2 years ago
Funnyyyy!
AguilaEmplumada 2 years ago
jijijijijijijiji
anniegilstube 2 years ago
Well said!
Hdrock6 2 years ago
haha very good!
truthofevolution 2 years ago
I just love your stuff!! LOL
Rhonda9 3 years ago
Thanks, Rhonda! Good to see you back in the mix. Busy, busy busy!
Largo64 2 years ago
good one
TheMorbidAtheist 3 years ago
Exactly!
bowlingballout 3 years ago
Haha, wonderful. :)
blithium 3 years ago
During a flood, an old man takes shelter on a house. A young man in a boat goes by and says "old man, here, get in my boat!" "No thank you," the old man replies, "God will provide for me." A little while later, a middle age man in a boat goes by and invites the old man to join him. The old man says "Oh, no thank you, God will provide for me." Just as the water is reaching the roof, a final boat, pilot by an old man, is seen. Again the old man is asked to join, and again he refuses.
ilducedevenezia 3 years ago
Of course, the poor old man drowns. He meets St. Peter at the gate and says "Oh, St. Peter! Why didn't God save me?" St. Peter gave the man an exasperated glance and said "He tried! He sent you three boats!"
ilducedevenezia 3 years ago
Now, THAT's the one a preacher would tell!
Largo64 3 years ago
LOL that was a good one! ;)
Maiyanna 3 years ago
Hardy Har Har !!
Keep'em coming !
AtheosEthos 3 years ago
Adam is feeling awfully lonely after God has created him. He calls up to God and says, "It's pretty boring here. How about you make me an equal, someone to kill time with?"
God replies, "Ok, I'll make you an equal. But for that I shall require your right leg, your right arm and your right brain half. Then I can make you a mate that is equal to you in every way."
Harsh terms, Adam thinks to himself. He weighs the pros and cons before finally replying,
"What do I get for a rib?"
Gilmaris 3 years ago
Husband walks in the bedroom and finds other man with his wife. He throws him out the window from a 10th floor. While falling down lover starts to pray. Please God help me! I will change: I ll start going to church,I ll quit drinking,I ll never cheat my wife again, I ll spend more time with children..Oooh God please..please help me I.. Suddenly truck with hay appears and lover falls in it and survive. He stand up. look around and say:" I really talk crap when I m scared."
baklava4 3 years ago
two hipies are on the edge of the empire state and this guy leans out the window and tells them to come in before they get hurt. one of the hippies jumps of. Just before he is smashed to pieces he stops and levitates back to the ledge. the guy says how did you do that and the hippy answeres its easy just think flip before you hit the ground and the guy dives out the window and is splattered on the pavement. other hippy turns and says gabrial for an angel you are a bastard sometimes.
ooglebydoogleby 3 years ago
Hee hee!
Largo64 3 years ago
:D oh yes! good one
ticijev 3 years ago
Crap joke-but well told. maybe some believers should put it to the test
HURUHRA 3 years ago
lol. nice
onlywhenprovoked 3 years ago
Rimshot! :p
DavidRandallCurtis 3 years ago
LOL
teredona 3 years ago
LMAO awesome, Largo!
madeleinekay 3 years ago
haha very nice. I shall be spreading this joke
ProtonBobby 3 years ago
good one, skeptic till the end!
rednecktrucker1969 3 years ago
:D
thanks Larry that was a good one!
quietAtheist20 3 years ago
XD haha, that's pretty funny :D
damillionmalania 3 years ago
Haha :P
Qieth 3 years ago
xD haha
AmberLecter 3 years ago
Funny Larry. LOL
GoMetricToday 3 years ago
LOL. Good one, Largo64.
Saukko31 3 years ago
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAaaaa
Great one
rozeboosje 3 years ago
Couldn't guess the punchline in advance... but I didn't find it especially funny either. Maybe I just didn't get it.
pienipaha 3 years ago
I think it might have been more to this god's credit if it would have just saved the guy without the coercion under diress.
TheSunkenGrave 3 years ago
Remind me to give you a thumbs up if Larry ever turns the comment voting on.
TheRedneckAtheist 3 years ago
Funny. Unfortunately, I could more or less see the punchline coming.
Demonaphia 3 years ago
Nice one !
Traxx01 3 years ago
hehehe. I
Justinfh2point0 3 years ago
Cute joke. Sounds like the kind of story a pastor would tell, except their ending would be convoluted and illustrate why we should trust their god! I like yours better.
whateverlolawants 3 years ago
I don't understand why we have Atheists. Let me put it this way. If the Atheists were true and there was no god, then what would they lose if they believed in something? No harm done right. And if there was a god indeed then they followed a good path and they should end up in heaven. So neither way, there won't be any any consequences, right?
Tutankhamun01 3 years ago
Why should atheists believe in something just for the sake of believing? I mean, do you go sit on Santa's lap every Christmas holiday and spout it your wish list -- just in case? It makes just as much sense for someone who doesn't believe in a higher power to pretend to believe in one as it does for you to pretend you believe Santa exists . . .
Cute Joke, Largo. I predicted the end, but that's just because I'm totally awesome.
zengrenouille 3 years ago
Well I guess you are right but I think people should go for what they believe in. So I guess that defeats my first comment because you could believe in Atheism. Well anyways, we should all live in peace. Thanks for the comment
Tutankhamun01 3 years ago
pascals wager.
old arguement is old.
Brettah31 3 years ago
Well, I understand why we have religious people: it's because some of us are so deathly afraid of admitting to what we don't know that we concoct explanations and an afterlife to make ourselves feel better. However, science has been removing the explanation of god from every frontier since the first studies and experiments were done. How long will you have left to hold on to your superstitions and bad arguments for god that are "imaginary fire insurance"?
TaylorX04 3 years ago
Tutankhamun, the same reasoning applies to practically EVERY god, goddess and higher power imaginable which are purported to matter in some hereafter. Also, the argument can be reversed, i.e. what if some god rewards skepticism and punishes faith? Further, you assume that one can simply choose to believe (leprechauns, anyone?) and that some god is equally satisfied with belief and feigned belief, or can't differentiate.
LibertyIsNotGiven 3 years ago
well harm is when you condeem gay and homosexsuals, when you go around claiming that we are all bad ppl and needs to be safed,
But you are using Pascals wager, you are basicly thinking that you can cheat god, because your playing the safe bet and not believeing, you really think God will fall for that trick? ill rather die at the Hands of all times bastrd than to join him in skyworld for eternity
C0ldhead 3 years ago
well that is a false dichtomy because it presents only two choice there are more than two choices like islam, judism, hinduism, believing in thor, and countless other gods that could possibly maybe exist, so why don't you believe in them what if you get to the after life and thor greets you ready to smite you with his mythical hammer??? what then???
i geuss you better start reading up on all religions "more than 10,000" and start praying to all the gods that might possibly maybe exist right?
Leadman1989 3 years ago
Thor's hammer is mainly for clubbing giants, amazons, trolls and ogres.
He's a brute, and wouldn't care about what you think or don't think. XD
Fjarhultian 3 years ago
you will taste the wrath of thor you non-thor believer...........XD
Leadman1989 3 years ago
Ask me thats a lot better than a God that wants to inslave man kind like the Christians God.
Darkphoenix3450 3 years ago
Hilarious!
mindtraveler2350 3 years ago
lol! XD
JonathanClement140 3 years ago
Hey, long time no see. Nice joke.
HonestDiscussioner 3 years ago
Boy, did I ever see THAT punchline coming.
Hell, I saw it when it was BREATHING HARD.
...just sayin'.
BionicDance 3 years ago
it's such a simple joke, yet it's still so very funny.
dinguswad452 3 years ago
lol
tiggeromega 3 years ago
You would have liked hearing me laugh. :)
philhellenes 3 years ago
Or he looks back at the top of the cliff and says "Fuck you Joe! Could you please put down your stupid megaphone and get the rope from the shed?"
CousinoMacul 3 years ago
And God said. "LET THERE BE LIGHT!"
He paused for a moment, and nothing happened.
Then he said, "who the hell am I talking to?"
s2cuts 3 years ago
I talk to myself, too. I wonder what that signifies.
Largo64 3 years ago
I do too. It signifies the difficulty of finding a good conversation.
philhellenes 3 years ago
I would have said "you're fucking mad"
TheAtheistPaladin 3 years ago