Top Gear Australia Audition: Holden Astra Review

[AnneeeMichelleee]

GOD HELP YOU !

[DroptheWobsDubstep]

I have a tip bro, don't treat your car like a piece of shit and that won't happen.

[philsanluis25]

u have problem godddd

[hitmanallwilldie]

your such a fag holden astra is the best car i have ever had you don't know shit about cars .

[robbocop83]

I'm glad your breeding days are over...

[TheVaz2108]

the astra is your lest favorite your mad man

[squirtstarz]

these cars are shit in auto. I own a 2.2 sri and the auto transmission is worse than he described. I thought he was being quite modest actually. Performance is ok in the 2.2 but it will still struggle to beat a micra if you buy an auto. My advice is don't buy an automatic European car because they suck. The abs also sucks and kicks in way to early. It's my first car so I'll make it through and then some teenage girl can drive it until it blows up because its Holden.

[sxcreni]

thanks for wasting 3:01 minutes of my life dickweed.

[mickeykozzi]

fuck you suck

[shiyboy4]

i have an astra, its my first car, i love it. its actually got really good acceleration, its only slow if u drive slow, and my seat doesnt do tht, the key will only break if ur a jackass and rip it off after putting it in the egnition (y the fuck would u do tht)

im aussie, but Gezus i hate the aussie top gear, they suck the brittish one is 1 the original and 2 the better 1.

plus they have better jokes, i mean cmon wat the fuck was tht testicle joke i didnt know if i should laugh or FACE PALM

[loyalqueen]

lol notice he doesnt really talk about the car in depth. engine options, transmission, suspension. the car was designed and released in 2000. its a great car. clarkson didnt even hate it that much, he just said it was simple and uninspiring. which is true because its a day to day city car that is practical. not a hot hatch. ive had mine for 4 years now its a auto, 110,000kms on the clock. the steering is very responsive and it's pretty nimble. economical too. but i will add the seats arnt great

[sickstyle]

WHAT THE FUCK R U TALKING ABOUT U FUCKING IDIOT!

[I3331934]

the car would be German.

[ansettnz100]

Could you please refer me to where you buy those cheap Chinese toothbrushes? Your comparative description has me thinking that my Astras indicator stork is of excellent design and quality, what must these cut price tooth brushes be like?

[1290mrbob1290]

@xSwifter calm down.. they not 'sick' at all, not as bad as this guy makes out, but far from brilliant, now i dont know if your australian or english, but in uk we have these shape astras and they aren't anywhere as good as the ford focus..

[ansettnz100]

I have a 2002 ex council fleet car 130,000km and drives like brand new. Excellent power out of the 1.8, quality is oozing from everywhere. The cabin is quiet and the heater gets SO HOT very quickly. This car is a credit to Holden and Im very proud of it. I used to have a Ford Laser and it was a terrible car.

[ansettnz100]

@ansettnz100 Just a reply to my comment above. I have now had the car for 6 months and done 4 thousand kms in it. Drives just as it did when I bought it and its still of excellent quality inside. Had a genuine Holden Astra spoiler put on the boot and looks stunningly sporty. I continue to get comments about how well I keep it!

[markTK901]

clarkson ripoff

[loyalqueen]

wrong, astra's are great. in my opinion this is the reason they've not chosen you. ur choice of car, u made a shit reivew about a great car. its like making a shit review about the corolla. no ones going to like it.

[BusbyBabe69]

your a gay cunt u fucknig mother fucking shit fuckc unt you shioood be shot u fucking cunt astras are sick ur a gay cunt ur mums clunge is as lloose as fucking cheewed bubble game, ur a gay cunt u fcuking cvunt cunt cunt cunt

[TheBotleyBoy]

Even Jeremy Clarkson (who I'm pretty sure you're desperately trying to imitate) didn't dislike the MK4 Astra half as much as this when he reviewed it. Also, if this is your idea of the worst car of all time, you probably don't have a vast, in-depth knowledge of cars as you might think. Anyway, we're all entitled to our own opinions. Did you ever get a job as a car reviewer in the end?

[ansettnz100]

@TheBotleyBoy I agree. The review by Clarkson is posted here on youtube. search Vauxhall Astra Topgear

[badmotherfucker5276]

loser hearts jeremy clarkson

[steefann911]

your a complete moron, you dont know anything abuot cars, i own a 2005 model classic equipe astra, my seats never squeak, my engine is perfect and economical and the transmission is great, its not slow at all, as sson as you hit the accelerator it flies, european cars own aussie made hunks of junk

[ULTRAvail]

pretty sad attempt at trying to be funny...

there i said it.

[PLMarv]

ahhaah 'the chair squeeks like a prostitute's bed springs'.... hahaa

[mjenabi2]

he is a ford fan

[se7encrave]

Astra is Beautiful

[jazzks]

i gotta say, other than not being able to see out the back window because in 5'11 not 4 nothing and i have to put the seat as far back as possible to be comfortable, the astra is a very good car, ive had a 2002 VY ute, toyota celica, holden wagon, and a toyota echo, and taking everything into account, the astra would have to be the best. anyone watching this who is looking to get one, dont listen to this idiot : )

[Rampagezed]

I drive a 2000 Opel Astra G like the one in the video. The jerk there obviously doesn't know anything about cars!!! The Astra is safe, fast and economical! I've never had a single problem with it. It beats the focus hands down. The golf is not bad, but it is a lot more expensive than the Astra. The fat asshole on the video should shoot himself!!!!

[edstar83]

pascutiu79's stererotyping people is for those with no brains. grow up.

[rogster101]

Just terrible.

[MrAngrydan]

I like the vauxhall/holden astra it's a good car.

[AndrewD1992]

haha what a loser, i have a 2003 astra equipe and its the best car ever, never had a problem with it, beautiful leather interior, but my one is a manual, unlike this douche who cant talk about how the car drives if he has an auto

[alebace]

fuck you

astra is the best car

slow?? look astra gsi or opc

[westrack44]

Thats because its made in the UK! The AH is made in Belgium which is of a far higher quality.

[B58PMCSA]

WOOOOO!!! I love my 97' TR Astra!!!

This guy obviously has no appreciation for cars at all. I find it funny that he wonders why the drivers seat is broken...

[dmrmgl]

i dont know why a gigantic stupid monkey can drive astra.

oh. cuz astra is much smarter than an animal who drive it in the video. lol

[lexer777]

ur a fuckin tool man my 88 astra goes great

[projectmagicka]

you are a toss mate, i have a 2004 Astra SRI Turbo and i love it, its got a nice leather interior and it is pretty quick of the mark . . . and I'm guessing u are too.

[dylan6480]

@projectmagicka hey man, just wanted to ask, even though you posted a year ago. i got an astra as a first car just a few days ago, i dont think there is anything bad about them, do you think theyre anything to be ashamed of. i am just unsure

[edstar83]

dude stick to playing counter strike.

[gamer070594]

true that

[Pitt0723]

Worst audition ever 1/5

[crash21244]

he's always talking bad. i would like to hear good things about the holden astra. there are always bad things in cars, but there are, of course, good things! tell me about

[godanselmo]

Dork.

[pascutiu79]

I heard that australians are idiots.. but this is ridicolous!!!

Fuck off!

[Hamish356]

Aussies kick arse, take on europeans any day

[ruuska1976]

Astra is good car.if i see this man he is suck my balls long time

[maniax786]

yep thats right , and believe it or not the

chasi of the astra was designet by

Lotus! ! !

[grant00]

what a fag...

[kimbooooooooooo]

some ppl just have no idea about the astra, we just got a 06 CDX and i tell ya it does have balls... manual too, nearly dragged off a VR SS with, i bet it 0-100

i have picked up 220kph & could still go more

[inuyashafangirl1]

All I can say is this. You suck. I have owned an Astra for 4 years and not ONCE have I had a problem with it.

Drives slow? Not economical? WTF?? I get 800kms on a tank.

You Sir, need to G.A.L I am glad you DIDN'T get the job.

[JZZ31]

This was actually quite funny.

[dean0090]

you were conceived on sqeaky bed springs

[Morg00007]

what a twat....an wot a pointless video

the new astra's are nice.....not the pile of shit he was in.....muppet

[nams9224]

It's actually 8 years old and could folg your piece of shit camaray you dump fuck.

I pitty you

[sydbiyummymummy]

what a dickhead!! there is nothing wrong with the astra!!

[Deathtax81]

fag, astras rock...your a toon for buying a auto.....glad you chop off a ball to get onto a show and fail...loser

[jaysastra04]

wow, what a fool you are.

of course a 4cyl automatic wont be inspiring in the performance dept.

my suggestion is hop into a manual astra ts, and you will quickly become a very red faced little boy.

4cyl autos are for grandpas and people who really do not have a clue, i am glad to see your employer provided you with a transmission to suit your personality.

astras have excellent fuel economy perhaps in your idiocy you have mistaken the fuel tank with the radiator. seek help, you need it.

[surgejoebot]

Iv driven an opel astra(same basic car) with a manual transmition for 8 years now,never needed anything but a yearly service,starts first time every time,sure its a bit slow but reliable,comfortable and enjoyable to drive. This guy reminds me of Jeremy Clarkson!

[grandbrandsaustralia]

I don't know what kind of torture you've subjected your Astra to, but I have driven one and been passenger in many and you're analysis us way off. The Astra set new benchmarks for style, equipment, quality and value in this car segment in Australia. Once which was previously dominated by budget basics Japanese, Korean and Malaysian cars.

[idriveabucket]

fuck man this guy is a douchebag, pushing his own opinion on an unwilling audience. i dont care what he does and doesnt like

[sk8rgeoff]

I can relate to these comments since my mum has a TS Astra. Yes, it's slow. Since it's automatic, it revs hard and is still slow. Also, the gear changes are rough as. I've driven an AH Astra with an auto, and it's faster, smoother, and it doesn't need to rev as much, when compared to the TS. The AH is a big improvement over the TS.

[dan388]

this is poor. also, the TS Astra was the class leader from 1998-2005. It's a great car, unlike your shit heap, 40 year old virgin Camry. Why bother?

[onedayNY89]

Trying WAY too hard to be like the guy from the British Top Gear... Your comments are so rehearsed! like the prostitutes bed springs? what was that about?

[qwayker]

I live in Europe, i have an OPEL astra, z16se, and it is 5 years old, no sqiucky seats, no gearbox problem, and very economic. And in quality Opel is Opel and Holden is sh*t

[ansettnz100]

@qwayker Hate to burst your buble but you see Opel made the Astra for Holden. I have to agree with you that the quality is excellent in mine and as you say very economical.

[ansettnz100]

@qwayker This Holden is manufactured by Opel in Europe! Opel is Opel and this Holden is also Opel. I own one and its an excellent car, I never stop getting praise about my purchase decision!

[elbenderdude]

@qwayker excuse me but holdens are actuly made to last. after 200000 kms the start falling apart

[angrygunsmith]

@qwayker realistically they are the same car, but as it is in society everyone will have their own opinions about cars, ive got the same astra as this guy here, but mine is a manual with a nice metallic paintjob, and its the 'city' spec, and its a pleasure to drive, convenient a nice clean car, not an enthusiasts car but its still fun.

[wot321]

Someone is imitating someone here. You wear white pants. That is all.

[tone167]

They're taupe, actually.

[jul07jul]

a camry...hahahaha good cars but not to get excitied over neither would an audience.

[pbjbmw]

Firstly Stop trying to imitate Clarkson's comments on cars.

Secondly dont be just plain idiotic and rude when you are making such comments.

And finally good work, I hate that Astra. Good thing the new one is much better.

[tone167]

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

[I3331934]

@tone167 Go play WoW.

[DarthJedi2005]

Holden? What the heck's a Holden? Could this possibly be the same car as the Vauxhall/Opel Astra we get here in Europe?

[SobaniForce]

Yes, yes it is. Holden make the Vauxhall VXR, and a few more i suppose that get exported as i dont know what. And its australian, so its awesome :p

[pbjbmw]

You don't have to be Australian to know what Holden is, you must've been living under a rock

[russellk0431]

WTF lol

[nate2611]

wtf

[wezzyt01]

omfg, australian top gear does suck. IM an aussie, and i have to say U.K's top gear is way better. btw thanks for posting anyway, tone167.

[JackDatBoi]

OMFG! Australian Top Gear is soooooo shit compared 2 U.K's one haha! the presenta thinks he's soooo kool! lol fuking loosas.

[jamessharks]

...its an audition tape u loser this guy wouldn't even make the first cut lol ... ur a tosser jackdatboi y dont u learn to read before commenting!

[robdogmc]

its an audition tape dude!!

[tone167]

I'm actually auditioning for Glenn Ridge's job on The Car Show. Once Glenn joins SBS to host Top Gear Australia, of course. This was just an elaborate hoax to get the attention of those creative geniuses at Channel Nein ...

[SonicZoom]

straighten your back... or is that permanent from sucking cock so much?

[food223]

eventhough i love holden good review good luck i cant wait for top gear australia

[tone167]

Seems like I've upset the few Holden fanboys out there that (a) know what a PC is, and (b) have heard of the internet.

I suspect they started typing out their comments when I first posted this 3 weeks ago, but it's only just now they've been able to finish typing their comments out. Only poofs and girls can type with more than one finger, you know.

Well, thanks guys. Thanks for confirming everything I've ever suspected about rabid Holden fans. BTW: does anyone want a slightly used TS Astra?

[SydAndy77]

LOL.

Who cares if you bag it out anyhow? Maybe the rabid Holden fans don't even realise that the Astra is made in Europe by Opel!

And NO to the Astra for me!

Check out my vids!

[OzDragonFlyer]

haha my Astra seat does exactly the same thing.. as does the key! Now, if we can only get him to donate his right testical, his newfound gender would match his girly style of presentation.. :)

[tone167]

You know, maybe I should have chopped my left nut off towards the end of the shoot, rather than at the beginning ...

Thanks for watching!

[maloo97]

Mate your a fucking tool.

Go back to the drawing board.

Dont give up your day job what ever that might be.

[calibrated85]

my god you are pathetic.

FAIL.

get some originality.

and maybe do some research on the cars.

[VXR153]

Stop trying to sound like clarkson. The body lanuage is clearly the same and the comments you made are almost identical.

[tone167]

shhh! I didn't think anyone would notice!

[videowilliams]

Aaahh, so that's what your "thing in a jar" avatar means- I'd been wondering- mystery solved!

I certainly did enjoy this piece: I found you natural and relatable (forgive the American word). You kept it short and funny, and very much in the style of Top Gear.

It's too bad you didn't have time to find a car that was truly awful, as opposed to being simply uninspiring, but we all had to make do with what we had. Good luck, and thanks for your sporting attitude toward us fellow TG wannabes!

[tone167]

Thanks for the feedback.

To be honest, the Astra review was pretty much an afterthought. The original 'Worst Car' review was to involve a Mitsubishi Sigma and some explosives. The hard part was finding somewhere to legally detonate the Sigma ...

[videowilliams]

Now there's a name that takes me back: that car and explosives have somehow always gone together. I still remember the famous campaign:

"Chrysler Sigmaaaa..."

*car comes crashing through mirror*

"It's a sensation!"

What a blast from the past! I look forward to seeing you pulling it off...

[dirttraka83]

shit house u just copy wot that top gears say pretty much cum up wit sum thing better mate, ur a fucking aussie 4 fuck sake

[tone167]

Sorry mate, I'm an Aussie and I speak English. If someone could translate this for me, that would be great.

[theboxmike]

The Astra is alot better than you give it credit for

Though good review

[tone167]

The same can be said for many STDs ... or so I'm led to believe.

On a more serious note, the TS Astra does handle reasonably well, but bringing positive facts into a 'bad car' review would have defeated the purpose. ;) I stand by my comments about being happy to give it up in a few months, though ... if only so I can get my hands on something more wretched to slowly destroy.

Thanks for watching!

[scotthuk]

Loving the one liners.

[gavism]

what do you drive then tone you wanker?

[tone167]

I drive Astra fanboys insane. Thanks for watching!

[nickisaacs]

It impossible to know what the TG panel are look for, you can just be your self and hope for the best!! Well done, cool vid.

[nickisaacs]

It impossible to know what the TG panel are look for, you can just be your self and hope for the best!! Well done, cool vid.

[wadhsv]

Yeah well done and good luck. Please everyone check out "scott's top gear audition" for a real sweet Audition tape, that really gets you impressed!

[remmit1]

Yep Goodluck Best Yet,

[zaybxcwd12]

Ok I have owned a Vauxhall Astra. The key did fall apart in the same way the interiour does fell like it dates back to about the same time Scott & Charlene tied the knot. It is about as interesting as a Gibson movie, but never let me down most realiable car I have owned. Better I would say than the Mondeo I replacedi ti with. BTW good "audition".

[scotthuk]

I wish my script was this good. Good luck.

[truckrod]

Well.

I think you got exactly it takes. Yours is the only one that made me laugh hard.

Nice timimg, and original drawl.

Well done.

[ryanacehigh]

your a fool mate.. not funny.. look like a douche.. talk...with...huge...brakes.. and you obviously dont know anything about cars, complaining about things like the seat and indicator.. dont quit your day job dude.

[tone167]

So, how's your Mum's Astra going? Snapped any timing belts recently?

[atomicmitch]

A car is only worth bagging, when comparing it to another in the same catagory. Look what the 04/05 TS Astra went up against. Also remember its a car that sold for around $18k in base model form (which is what you have). The theres the fact you are complaining about stuff like a squeak (got WD40?), and a broken key from a careless owner. Finally reviewing the AUTO 1.8L. Need I say more. Go jump in a TS Astra SRi or SRi Turbo in manual guise, WD40 the seat, and then see how your thoughts change.

[tone167]

OK, so the Astra does have 1 or 2 things going for it (the handling is pretty decent), but the rest of my thoughts stand. Cars with < 40K on them shouldn't squeak like that. I'm used to driving cars that are actually made well (Honda, Toyota ... even Hyundai makes cars better than GM). Every time I'm driven any GM product (such as a Holden, or in this case, a rebadged Opel), I've cringed as just how badly they are made ... and how many diehard fanboys just accept it. Thanks for the comment!

[atomicmitch]

How many Astras have you sat in/been exposed to though?

I admit I own a new Astra, and I have been in and around a number 20+ TS Astras,

I'm yet to see one with "questionable" build quality, or a squeaking seat.

I accept your comments, but also note your seating position is downright dangerous.

Good luck with the audition anyway!

[tone167]

Not as many as yourself. I was going to ask which Holden dealer you worked for. ;) As I said, I'm used to Toyotas and Hondas. Not as fun to drive, true. But better finished.

Again, I'd like to stress that I had to find a car to bag out in a hurry. If I had the time, I would have gone to a Holden dealer to try and 'test drive' a Viva for a couple of hours, then I'd REALLY have something to complain about.

Thanks again for the sensible and challenging feedback, and for your good wishes.

[TGseason10]

Throw the astra away and but a GSi 16v :P

[tone167]

Actually, I could cope with an Astra VXR ... as long as I could hand it back before the warranty expires. ;) Still, would be good for shits and giggles for a couple of years. Thanks for the shout out!

[xJZLx]

prostitutes bedsprings! haha you're the man =D