5: Immortal Jellyfish

[Swaggisvies]

Since when do jellyfishes wear hats and glasses:O?

[lutalivrefletcher]

smart, smart guy

[cronoscum]

hahahaha you deleted my comment fag

[ciberon1]

squishy bastards......

[masterdmcx]

Actually, only they're doing right now is overpopulating the ocean, and that'll take hundreds to thousands of years to even cover a section even with immortality. Secondly, they are small, very small. Most people only know part of the story. They see the line "immortal" and they are done reading, but these jellyfish are only immortal under the right conditions. They are still prone to disease, predations, and fatality. Basically the only way to live is to be safe all their lives. :)

[ELLtheBAG]

@masterdmcx the nomura jelly population increased by 3million percent in less then a year in 2003. in the 70's the comb jelly was accidentally introduced (through ballast water contamination) in the Caspian sea and in a year there total weight out weighted the annual fish stocks of the world which i believe is over 100million tonnes. jellyfish are currently the biggest threat to aqua fauna biodiversity and aquaculture. trust me in the next couple of years shit will hit the fan.

[lukeindeed]

no but seriously im gunna give your mom aids

[lukeindeed]

im gunna be lurking outside your window every night waiting for my chance to bite you and drag you into shallow water where i will do my death roll

[ELLtheBAG]

@lukeindeed sorry dont associate myself with people who dont swallow.

[lukeindeed]

@ELLtheBAG well then you best not be speakin to your mother. that bitch spat my jizz up on my leg i had to smack her.

[ELLtheBAG]

@lukeindeed cant smack her, six feet of ground in the way.

[Drunkendunker]

Well explained, did you script all of this by any chance or was it all off the top of your head? Either way, it's clear you know what you're talking about.

[ELLtheBAG]

@Drunkendunker it was part of a blog aday i was doing and yeh it was just off the top of my head.

[asmodeu2dark]

Catchy. But I'd like to see Jellyfish growing legs and attacking land species. THAT will be the real apocalypse.

[LillaKrisu]

I don't like the way people of youtube of today cut their videos....

[firebaby359]

All hail the jelly fish!!

[firebaby359]

"And that's why Edward Cullins, if he existed, would be a jellyfish". LOL

[Zdub212]

This is terrific!

[MrThePandaman]

You are much smarter than you look.

[edmund129]

Thanks to crude oil we no longer have to kill a single plant or animal for our raw materials anymore.

[blank21121]

"all hail the jellyfish?"

Fuck the jellyfish! Cthulhu is where it's at.

[kiwininja100]

erm now all i see when i think jellyfish is giant monster with rape tenticals and floaty powers ooooooOOOOoooooh

[TakingAndChanging]

Stfu -_-

[TakingAndChanging]

What's the point with the glasses... seriously?

[Armando09Z]

he likes spongebob

[hollycoolio]

But jellyfish are so cute! 

[gretchen451]

OhMyDays. When he says Beef Beef Beef dog scrape out babies heads to get stem cells... blah blah ... Whataa LOL!!!! You is crazy man :L

[DeWolfeJv]

Insane. Great! Thumbs UP!

[Snizanola]

He's cute :B



[nejijuan1]

fucken gay!!!!! i wanted to see them

[numbah1ful]

Turritopsis nuttricula

[KyouFangirl]

you should do a TED talk...

[dopilus]

holy shit that was one entertaining rant--wayyy better than Penn's at least--KUDOS u fuckin lunatic!

[torylperkins]

"edward cullen is a jellyfish"

hilarious

[ThyReturner]

I wish I can make a great video like this... maybe I can--anyways great video and it was very informative. I love it when I can learn a whole new perspective on reality instead of the constant repetitive crap you can easily find on youtube.

[ELLtheBAG]

@kiMjUSTtRYNAdANCEc even if you delete you comments i can still read, and thanks

[Anonymouskmn]

@nosmailliwydocbocaj Then we could live forever too maybe.

[Miyi25]

As you mentioned ladder system, but remember God followed the ladder system

7days for him 7 billions years for us

[Riko3914]

seems like lama

[sexiestmannotalive]

I can't believe it! I just wrote an essay on Why jellyfish is the best possible form of life. And now this....It's ammmazing!:D

[7sevenL]

Lol, you're epic.

[JoeLeTaxi]

I've been practicing Jellyism my entire life, I'm glad someone out there is finally preaching the word of the Jellies! Praise be, Jellelujah!!

[hairyhoff]

wow you look a mess

[ubersteigen]

Just shows that the bible and the quran are bullshit! Because they both state nothing is immortal on earth but only in heaven (Faith sucks! Science rules!)..

When we look at molecular level of biology we know that telomerase (an enzyme) that has adapted the ability to rebuild telomeres in the likes of cancer/stem cells, which enables them to replicate an infinite number of times!

[thuinahmedyousuf]

Tell that to the shark

[ELLtheBAG]

@thuinahmedyousuf lol okay will try

[werwr4]

@ELLtheBAG the fountain of youth is at the bottom of the ocean, which they lay there eggs, im serious it sank to the bottom its in the middle of the ocean at the lowest part.

[IYHBYD]

You are the smartest man I have ever heard talk about anything. Makes perfect sense too.

[ELLtheBAG]

@IYHBYD why thank you

[GreenPlatypusBaby]

@IYHBYD

tell that to steven hawking :L

[TyroPro]

@IYHBYD omg your name reminds me of halo

[Foltosh]

@IYHBYD pfft. check out Dean Leysen, much cooler, and smarter.

[ELLtheBAG]

@Foltosh doubt it

[TJConnolly1986]

I hope a jellyfish attaches itself to your face like those little alien face huggers and it make love to you with its stingy tentacles and your offspring should in fact have more back bone than you. Lolz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[EmoAliKat]

Squishy bastards XD !

[JonathanWKnight]

haha your a legend

[gumslinger]

I bet joan rivers has fingers dipped deep into the study of this creature XD

[phantomtalon556]

Fucking hilarious man! sub'n nao

[flyassasin1]

and these squishy bastards haha

[samuelvandusen123]

i hate this guy

[flyassasin1]

@samuelvandusen123 cuz US is fuckin awesum 

[Breezewontspeak]

There was this book called "The Swarm" by Frank Shatzing where a bunch of single-celled organisms felt threatend by humans and manipulated jellies to fill up the entire Australian coast. There was a bunch of other stuff they did too and I recommend reading it, makes a human feel helpless against mother nature.

[Nixom1334]

haha, what you said was alright but your accent totally made me buy it

[charliehockey78]

wtf is this CRAP

[almightyskater]

wow this video is fuckin awsome. i never thought of us changing the enviroment could work out like that. this is the first time ive seen one of your videos and there awsome

[papasmurf530]

heh looks like me studying this for possible immortality isnt far off>:D. would make space travel easy as crap since there is no worry about ageing and HAHAHA some of the jokes were hella funny

[papasmurf530]

heh looks like me studying this for possible immortality isnt far off>:D. would make space travel easy as crap since there is no worry about ageing

[zigravos]

akarui mirai

[Kcin5041]

i say we kill the jellyfish before they take over the planet

[OldSpakkerDan]

jelly fish killed my father and raped my mother..

[Bagsy84]

God never said that we were supposed to be self centered. So if another species of creatures do come after us, it doesn't disprove anything, people die anyway regardless of there being jellyfish or not, that's why there's a heaven.

[ELLtheBAG]

@Bagsy84 sure

[dopilus]

@ELLtheBAG haaha

[gundam898]

@Bagsy84

theres no proof that god exist 100% but a book

im not saying that god is not real but how do u noe?

cuz u read it from a book?

[lulujakub]

@Bagsy84 Is there heaven for jellyfish too or does each species get their own separate heaven?

[itinkgirlzhot12]

@Bagsy84 there is no heaven its just a made up place in a fairytale book called the bible

[RosechusPickle]

@Bagsy84 That made absolutely no sense.

[WolfySnackrib666]

@Bagsy84 Wow you don't even have half a braincell do you? God is a non existing imaginary friend. It's MAKE BELIEVE.

[mangethegamer]

Irie Shouichi from Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, anyone?

[Ilovemariofan]

@mangethegamer Which version?

[bobbabaa]

u have a smart accent

[michaelbjerre]

All hail the jellyfish. Jeffyfish...ism? That's an awesome religion.

[w00per]

briljant theory ^^

[47gomez47]

great job brother

[CONNOREXPLOSION]

praise jellyfish

[Sombomombo]

OMFGLOLBBQ!!!

[Almightylexzor]

hahah that video was fantastic! Lets be friends! :)

[ELLtheBAG]

@patricia2084 thank you very much

[bertos333]

I'm really interested in this jellyfish...what if scientists found a way to harvest and manipulate the cells of these jellyfish to use for ourselves?to make US live forever? Is it possible? what do you think????

[ELLtheBAG]

@bertos333 its called cellular differentiation and its essentially stem cell research

[bertos333]

@ELLtheBAG stemcell research uses human pheatus...es but can we use the jellyfish?or is that actually being done?Or is that what you ment? my brain hurts

[zabet04240]

@bertos333 Wow hope not! :)

[PooeyBum11]

@bertos333 unfortunatly if they did manage that it still wouldnt be immortaily. Since essentially you are your brain cells, and our brain cells are the only cells in our body which dont replace themselves, you wont be living forever, the regenerated cells in your brain wont be you and so eventually your whole brain would be replaced by a exact copy of yourself but it wouldnt be you. This new brain would have your memories, think its you and behave the same but YOU would still be dead.

[TheStarvingFood]

@bertos333

Why only the US?

[crazylilkid]

@bertos333 humans will never live forever...

[thatsgogogo]

lol

[Ape65]

Wow!, Fascinating video!

[FetidFetusXYY]

But I reproduce by budding

[freakforchecs]

idk if ur making sense or if any of that shit you were spouting and had all jumbled about was true but ur accent makes you sound fucking smart hahaha

[ELLtheBAG]

im almost 11% sure i didnt make it up on the spot

[chsgdss]

***** Very Cool *****

Kisses,

Raíssa.

[ELLtheBAG]

hey thnx for watching

im  Ell btw

[naomibonbon]

"Dinosuars joggin' about..."

You sir, must be a teacher. Must.

(I also got waay too excited at the fact that I'm learnin' about jellyfish right now, even though you look and sound about ten times better than my textbook. :D)

[ELLtheBAG]

@naomibonbon i think its the fact i have less pages than a textbook tht it works for people

[naomibonbon]

The charming british accent never hurts:P or the swooshy hair.. because let's face it, a canadian accent is meh, and swooshy hair never stays properly swooshed because of our "harsh canadian winters" or "wind".

[ELLtheBAG]

@naomibonbon you truely have it awful poor you. btw i love canadians

[naomibonbon]

WHO DOESN'T? We just chill with our maple syrup, bacon(?), igloos and polar bears. I mean, it's a chill life. How's your big ol' island? Heard it... rains a lot? I dunno it rains a lot here

[ELLtheBAG]

@naomibonbon awghhhghghg igloos fkin awesome. send me one.. in the post. just pop it in an envelope.

[naomibonbon]

because that'd be easy enough to explain. "WTF IS IN THAT ENVELOPE MISS"

"... an igloo?"

"OH YUP YUP OKIE DOKIE THEN."

.. How 'bout I just send you a drawing :D

[ELLtheBAG]

@naomibonbon can i live in it?

[naomibonbon]

As easily as a sponge in a pineapple :D

[ELLtheBAG]

@naomibonbon cule

[KittyNinjaPiper]

oh my dear clever ushanka hat wearing friend you forgot one key fact, you are the missing link between the jellyfish and the human race, your hair has small barbs on it that give us the same stings that you would get from a jellyfish's tentacles plus you shoot out microscopic pollups but yes they are still pollups, hence you shall live as long as the jellyfish do

[ELLtheBAG]

@KittyNinjaPiper so im a jellyfish?

[KittyNinjaPiper]

@ELLtheBAG part jellyfish part..human i believe

[ELLtheBAG]

@KittyNinjaPiper i wondered y i had tenticles.... oh wait i mean testicles

[KittyNinjaPiper]

@ELLtheBAG well the testicles are from your human side of the family...and i dont know where you keep your tentacles

[ELLtheBAG]

@KittyNinjaPiper well!?!?

[KittyNinjaPiper]

@ELLtheBAG where do you store your tentacles...? in a belly pouch perhaps?

[ELLtheBAG]

@KittyNinjaPiper just in my pocket

[KittyNinjaPiper]

@ELLtheBAG are they warm in there

[ELLtheBAG]

@KittyNinjaPiper oddly moist

[KittyNinjaPiper]

@ELLtheBAG good...keep them hydrated and stimulate them occasionally

[ELLtheBAG]

@KittyNinjaPiper along them lines yes

[KittyNinjaPiper]

@ELLtheBAG i bid you adieu

[kingsellemo]

Great t-shirt :p

[bagOmagic]

ha u a fan?

[nataliejudedude]

what color is your eyes?

[ELLtheBAG]

green what colour are yours?

[nataliejudedude]

green too. were such soul mates.

ur eyes look kinda blue in this video

[RachaelAndTheWorld]

You're my new idol and my new stalk-ee.

[ELLtheBAG]

thats fine i except tht totally. so yeah i will see u watching me through my window tonight?

[posiedosie]

i think this is my new favorit thing.

like ever.

[ELLtheBAG]

and why is that ? iam curious (in a good way)

[posiedosie]

it just makes me happy that other people think about this kind of stuff, not only me =)

and i will now never look at jellyfish the same way aegan.

[ELLtheBAG]

ditto

[ELLtheBAG]

what interests u?

[posiedosie]

just the way that they can reproduce like that, and how it is totally plausible that they could take over the world.

annnnd the scientific rambling, it reminds me of, well, me.

[ELLtheBAG]

im glad u dont think im insane purely because it wud be like insulting urself.xxxx

[Chrisindapurplehouse]

And they hve no real preditors damn theyre gonna inhereit the earth

[ELLtheBAG]

turtles eat them but there becoming exict too

[Jacked788]

Good advice. I'll keep that in mind.

[Jacked788]

Well, some fail people are about everywhere. Can't avoid them unfortunately. =/

[ELLtheBAG]

u can its called muder

[Jacked788]

lol that was epic. You are a legend. =) All the coolest people come to derby, obviously.

[ELLtheBAG]

are u implying there be sum sort of cool magnet. i saw a man weeing and been sick against a wall this weekend. it must be out of order

[Insaneagram]

But obviously if jelly fish grew back bones we'd all be screwed. Like immediatly.

[ELLtheBAG]

they'd fuck our shit up so bad. what uni u at?

[Insaneagram]

ugh Derby uni.

[ELLtheBAG]

well u know im there too

[Insaneagram]

Yeah lol didn't realise, someone posted this video on youtube and than someone on my freinds list was like 'my flatemate ftw' hahahaha. Small world :P

[Insaneagram]

I mean facebook, not youtube. Someone posted it on facebook.

[ELLtheBAG]

yeah mr tom batsford

[Insaneagram]

I like your tags (y)

[ELLtheBAG]

its so odd i typed in like a hundred tag pressed enter and it kept changing it to sex-ed so i kept it

[jennifer589able]

cool

jellyfish fields!

i wood like to be 1

[glasscrush]

Turritopsis nutricula - forever will i remember this.

[ELLtheBAG]

is it burnt in to ur head now

[glasscrush]

it's been in my head since when you told me on skype

i told my friend about the immortal jellyfish the other day, in science, she was amazed of my knowledge of jellyfish.

[ELLtheBAG]

its true jellyfish facts can be used in any situation to make one seem cool

[glasscrush]

you know what else i've been lurking on the computer, news about the higgs boson they're trying to create in that big tuby thing that took them 20 years to build.

[homono8]

i could not stop thinking about spongebob this whole video..

jellyfish fields!

[ELLtheBAG]

ahhh spongebob ok. acceptable

[ELLtheBAG]

ha. u made me blush *continues been blushed*

[ELLtheBAG]

well just want to keep u in the loop

[crimsonigloo]

Jellyfishing is the answer to that theory my friend, bring forth the sponge!!! ^_^ [x]

[ELLtheBAG]

ah if its sponges we enjoy technically sponges are the same family as jellies. woop science

[crimsonigloo]

Hmmm, interesting! I had no idea... but, how about the species of Sponge known as Bob? *chuckle* Jellyfishing! Jellyfishing! Jellyfishing! ^_^ [x]

[ELLtheBAG]

fictional square pants?

[crimsonigloo]

hmmm... darn it!! my theory dashed!! I suppose it's to be expected from placing all hope on a mere fabrication of the imagination. All hail the Almighty Jellyfish, may they take pity on us all!! (T_T) [x]