SMBC Theater - Both Sides

[sorwoggpm]

Sorry for the double comment but the volume discrepancies in this video are terrible.

[sorwoggpm]

Oh my Jesus, please save us. There is an ad for Scientology. What. The. F.

[mjlgaard]

Dr. Sands is now the medical expert on Fox & Friends.

[MrCringedragon]

oh lerd, i want more both sides

[Ralndrath]

THEIR ALL DICK HEADS!!

[CrappedATriangle]

JP is John-Paul. Look up JP Nickel on Google for IMDB.

[CydoniaKnight1]

Ah I love Bill O Reil- oh sorry, I mean JP

[jmarrvin]

James must be a really awesome guy in real life.

[TheSchmuck2]

this is so condescending.

[sorwoggpm]

@TheSchmuck2 How, exactly, do you look up at morons, intellectually? Are they in a plane? Intellectually?

[Thesugerbooster]

THEY'RE ALL D!CKHEADS!

[Southernmetalhippie]

I agree with some Randist principles, but she was wrong agreeing with the "all sex is rape" thing.

[INTPTT]

Dr. Sands

Calls self a doctor.

[93tomb]

Fuck, I have to drink with you guys. It is a pathological need. I'll buy.

[QuadRaxiX]

Present both sides equally, touch him on the penis.

[vbwx]

"Last 20 years of your life just a very boring LSD trip" LOL

And: "Is J.P. Nickel Superman?"

Ha ha, the news ticker is really the icing on the cake.

[DarthLuminosity]

Damn, I wanted to see him waving his dick around while flipping the bird...

[jonuscus]

look at my hands not raping anyone

[BacuChan]

HA HA HA FOX NEW JOKES SO FUNNY

[tileace]

@BacuChan That's what I was thinking.....Fox "news" business model.

[Madfoot713]

@tileace Actually if anything this is a Crossfire parody

[ver133t]

Blame it on the gay, touch him on the penis.

[edstirling]

"They turn invisible when you look for them." Quantum Jesus Dinosaurs!

[GlorytoGodonHigh]

WE EXIST IN DIFFERENT EPISTEMOLOGICAL PARADIGMS, FUCKPANTS

[KongRubix]

@GlorytoGodonHigh Best quote ever

[SenorBougliani]

@GlorytoGodonHigh good thing you quoted it bebcause i didnt unbderstand a word of it. it was like WE EXIST INXTGISPIKTSPARAKYHHMF FUCKPANTS

[Nefersefet]

This has to be one of the best ones yet. Hilarious. XD

[CHEEMA1990AJ]

JPs so fair and balanced

[pianoman47]

I'm just saying, I LOVED the ticker tape.

[SAlpsu]

Hey, this video cut out before the funniest scene.

[BREAKMEKNEES]

Remember, a news company's job isn't to report the news, it's to sell it.

[avielMenter]

Pat Robertson blames Gays, Jews for his offensive statements.

[LtBoot]

Ad Hominem!

[Allensmackerman]

@LtBoot Ab Holliminuminum!

[LtBoot]

Ad Hominum!

[FOXGEAR92]

Hey look, she shaved her 'stache for this one.

[EnochMetatron]

@FOXGEAR92 I don't care if she has a stache. I would wreck that chick.

[StrawberryBoy100]

@EnochMetatron She's married to the guy who draws SMBC :D

[DuckReconMajor]

@StrawberryBoy100 I think they're talking about Felicity, not Kelly. Though I've never seen it.

[CuppaAvenger]

The ending was so great.

[Uktrayf]

So true. We need more objectivist news.

[KapStuf]

63 creationists can't cope with satire.

-

Together with all the other creationists.

[jodyahern]

@lava502 I can't stop staring at JP's right hand either..... what the hell?

[Madfoot713]

it's like crossfire all over again

[lava502]

what's up with JP's right hand?

[JimBobWhoRocks]

THEY'RE ALL DICKHEADS

[StrawberryBoy100]

Stab him in the eye with a steak knife, touch him on the penis.

[EntitySteel]

Wave your dick around, touch him on the penis.

[nthnclls]

Hey, it's Glenn Beck!

[Kogerii]

Thanks for mentioning Lenski's experiment. I was unfamiliar with it and it's really cool.

Mr. Banks should've stood up but there's truth in the jokes. No journalism's unbiased and every report implies ______ info is worth knowing and its' importance rated by what page of the paper it's on. That's why zerohedge and wikileaks are the only good news sources.

Wouldn't the steak knife reach your braaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnsssss.

[HypocriticalElitist]

I have yet to be disappointed by an SMBC Theater.

[stingyzx]

BOTH SIDES!

[winterstellar]

Yes, evolution has already become applied science. It is being used in practice in many fields. : )

[sirdeedly]

Also: funny video, but not their best work.

[sirdeedly]

Evolution is a fact. Proven through science. Science that has practical applications today. Arguing against evolution is not a valid point and those who try have a gross misunderstanding of what the word "theory" means. Evolution may not be conclusively provable as the origin of species, but religious nuts need to stop denying the science as a whole.

[idiot4always]

@sirdeedly

But you need to see it from both sides.

Being nuts is much more fun!!

[megabrowser17]

@sirdeedly You have no idea what a "Proof" is either apparently. Rarely anything in this world is proven, only a few mathematical formulas have been given the word "proof". You can get very close to knowing the truth through evidence and theories, but the fact is, is that we can't truly "prove" something we haven't personally experienced, and even then it's shaky and prone to illusions. Bare in mind that I'm not against your claim, just your use of the words "fact" and "proven".

[nielso212]

@megabrowser17

Actually you're mixing up the words fact and truth. Evolution is fact but truth is what you speak about thats so elusive to obtain.

[megabrowser17]

@nielso212 Good lord, do you know what a synonym is? It's the same fucking word. The only difference is that the word "truth" is used more philosophically and poetically. "Fact", "Proof", and "Truth" are all the fucking same. What I was arguing is that evolution will always remain a "theory" until we personally see how it happens over millions of years. It's not a fact, it's a theory. Although a very logical one and with lots of evidence, but it is still a theory until personally seen.

[nielso212]

@megabrowser17

Well Evolution is fact because we CAN see it happening when we, for example, experiment on a virus. We know, thanks to experiments on organisims that evolve faster, like bacteria, that evolution is a fact. How we and other animals today evolved from older animals is a theory (because we cannot see that happening) and the truth will always remain elusive because as first year philosofy students like to tell us, we cannot be even be sure of our own observational skills.

[megabrowser17]

@nielso212 Yes, I know it is logical given how we understand things to work right now, but it is still not proven. For example, general science tells us the stars form from gases. We can see it across the expanse of the sky in the different stages stars are in, but until we confirm it with personal experiments and experiences, it is still not proven and therefore a theory. You seem to think "theories" is a ill word I'm using, it's not. It's a general use word, not a derogatory one.

[nielso212]

@megabrowser17

You are completely skipping over the ability for us to observe evolution happening in bacteria which always use to prove it (evolution) and make the proces of evolution existing fact

[Draugo]

@megabrowser17 You are misunderstanding the word "theory" there. Theories are a collection of facts that explain natural occurrences. For example theory of gravity is a theory, would you claim that we have not shown with personal experiences that gravity exists. What about germ theory, that's also a theory about how micro-organisms cause decease. Is that not shown to be the case in your mind? Also you can't prove things in science, only in mathematics. You can only test hypothesis in science

[KapStuf]

@Draugo And thus the Dunning-Kruger hypothesis is confirmed once again. This time by someone who thinks he knows what science words mean.

[goneutt]

this is so brilliant!

[SirTmTerry]

im on JP'S side

[Bluelantern]

obligatory:

stab him with a stake knife in the eye, Touch him in the penis.

[nohohongs]

watch fox news, touch him on the penis on BOTH SIDES

[BenBasgall]

get him on the news, touch him on the penis

[DanTheeMan]

PAT ROBERTSON BLAMES GAYS AND JEWS FOR HIS OFFENSIVE STATEMENTS

[Pizzachu1]

Rape him under the desk, touch him on the penis

[SirTmTerry]

Both Sides!

[fatmanfalling]

at first i thought this was a rip at Fox news

but then i saw this same show ON Fox news

[Cacaproutmerde]

"Gay marriage legalized, totally gay marriage remains in legal limbo"

Brilliant !

[BlueSabb]

Did anyone else notice "Pat Robertson blames gays and jews for his offensive statements" ?

LoL

[Peete182]

Dara o'briain did a joke about news readers doing this a few years ago don't know if that's linked

[AustinLawicki]

Stab him in the eyes, touch him on the penis.

[spanky1113]

@AustinLawicki T-Bone steak, well done.

[darkmooninc]

I LOVE Glenn Beck! This is my FAVORITE episode!

[almagenes]

omg you so nailed the issue with the informative media turned show-business!! and, it is funny!!!! long live smbc!!!

[lordtalon69]

Wow um ....

This is basically the onion if a monkey was writing the scripts. And that is not a good thing.

[PostrsPostDeepsToons]

Yeah, I dunno if that's entirely reasonable satire. Effectively, showing two competing sides of an argument allows the viewer to form their own conclusion. The argument against that idea in this video is that such a comparison frames the two competing arguments with equal validity. While this is generally true, it makes the assumption that all viewers instantly accredit both viewpoints with exactly the same level of respect given by the news network, as if they're mindless sheep. See my point?

[EXRazeBurn]

Nice to see exactly how Bill O'Reilly started in showbiz.

XD

[TetragramatonG]

Bravo

[SomeonewhoisFrench]

"Man from Nantucket engages in Autofellatio."

[Yesnomu]

Hey guys, I got a summer internship at the CRDIHP Institute! I'm hoping to see the pictures in a mirror, so they won't turn invisible.

[CNLMCF]

wave your dick around, then touch him on the penis

[mrpwase]

Do you see my hands not raping anyone?

[inclined2recline]

ROFL!!!!!!

[GoldSkywalkern]

This was so awesome

[StereoJoker]

Can someone please tell me why JP doesn't have his own primetime news show already? His ratings would be sky-high.

[MajikkaniHand]

Thomas Kuhn reference FTW.

[CHANGEtheIdiot]

What a load of shit... liberals somebody send them to comedy school or there will be more Bill Mayer's

[alx90x]

this frighteningly reminded me of that oreilly vs. dawkins video im sure weve all seen

[marasmusine]

Oh wait, wait, I know this one! "False Dichotomy", right?

[marzipanfuntime]

Seriously you guys, as a proponent and successful patient under the Steak Knife to the Eyes method, I find this offensive. Take a look at the only evidence you need: no more flippen glasses=win

[BeerMan5000]

Clearly a deluded mad man. Steak knives are for rectal surgery and they make a perfectly shaped catheter.

[medicineman4ever]

Oh...hi there Mr. O'Reilly

[DAILEYericCaryUSA]

This is so brilliant.

5/5

Illustrates use of the dialectic to brain wash viewers.

[goneutt]

@DAILEYericCaryUSA Right on right on!!!

[peekitty]

Good video, but not great. SMBC is still trying to find its vibe, but I think it'll get there.

[ImpudentInfidel]

I wanted to see an SMBC vid. This appears to be a clip from fox news. I should probably flag this.

[CepheusStarhowl]

@ImpudentInfidel This comment easily tripled the value of the video.

[RatDude1996]

@ImpudentInfidel that explains the ticker very well

[manuel1471]

Present two diametrically opposite arguments to explain the same phenomena as equally valid despite the evidence, touch him on the penis.

[NinjaSquirrel19]

Believe in evolution, touch him on the penis!

[iphoria]

Favorite Ticker:

"It's well above average", declares shifty-eyed girlfriend

[Mimi103340]

Funniest part was the ticker tape.

[Ceibhfhionn]

@Mimi103340 agreed.

[harusume]

In order for something to be called a scientific theory, it needs to be tested extensively and proven many times. its not the same as the normal word used in everyday conversation.

[dominictemple]

So very funny. And sadly true.

[Wyverneer]

Stab yourself in the eye with a steak knife, touch him on the penis.

[eatingperson]

Damn. This video could have been funny with an ounce of acting skill.

[belegarthbrooder]

@eatingperson

That's part of the humor.  Now get the fuck out of here.

[eatingperson]

The point I was trying to make is that it detracts from the humour. The humour is good, acting not good. The bad acting is not part of the humour, it's in spite of it.

[BalsamicWeevil]

I mean, it's a steak knife ... in the eye!

[Eggland21]

Of course the Internet turns it into a REAL debate.

[withouts4nity]

We exist in different epistemological paradigms, FUCKPANTS! hee hee (:

[lKazba]

Actually a theory, in the realm of science, means and explanation/description of laws or facts. All scientific theories are based on fact, so when you see the theory of gravity or theory of evolution, it just means its explaining a fact that has already been empirically tested and proven (although you can argue that you can never really prove anything in science, only disprove). Theory in most other fields, just means a hypothesis.

[RQ6]

Just out of curiosity, what happened to JP's right hand anyway?

Also, I watched this twice to read that newsreel bit.

[AdrianvsJak]

do you guys have real jobs or how do you get money to do this?

[murdocha]

@bookworm3213

So is gravity, now walk to the closest cliff and choose not to believe...and...jump.

[WizToast]

In the sense we're using here, we're referring to the fact that evolution has happened.

The theory of evolution is an explanation of how and why it happened and happens. But, that evolution has happened is a fact.

Fair?

[qtzlctl2012]

That's not fair at all. Evolution, change in species over time, is a fact. It happens.

[murdocha]

@bookworm3213

Blatant lies? Provide examples.

BTW, you understand this is parody, right??

[HouseFantastic]

@bookworm3213

I have a theory that no, you don't have more important things to do than argue via YouTube, because you brought your uneducated bias here in the first place and started talking about how theories aren't facts, when in reality theories are explanations of observations in the world around us. Not that you're paying attention to anything I have to say and considering it. That's the most fun part about being ignorant, isn't it?

See: DunningKruger effect

[murdocha]

@bookworm3213

The problem is semantics. Evolution is both. That species evolve is fact and directly observable, the theory is the "how". Creationists often use both meanings either unintentionally or intentionally to obfuscate the issue.

I agree, there are better things to do. I'm going to the pub!

[Cheespuffs45]

But you can't "believe" in something like evolution. It has been completely and utterly proven in the micro scale (why bacteria gets antibiotic resistant over time), and although the macro scale is still technically a "theory" it has huge amounts of evidence supporting it. I have family members who are Christian and don't think evolution is real and they are ignorant. Its a touchy subject for Muslims because they get a lot of hate anyway but there isn't any difference. you can't not believe fact

[Nibien]

You're an utter moron, in the off-chance you didn't know.

[000cacarr]

You are not familiar with the scientific sense of the word "theory."

[TinTower]

Both Sides!

[dannyboyfour]

SMBC videos is objectively the best thing on YouTube.

[sephirothsdemise]

3:30

There once was a man from Nantucket,

Whose d**k was so large he could suck it.

When wiping his chin,

he said with a grin,

If my ear was a p***y, I'd f**k it.

[b0lkan]

This is one of the best so far!

[Pandor25]

2:51 is JP Nickel superman? yes i think so >.>

[gregorygroupnet]

smbctheater, Not just another video.

[Squeejee09]

The words weren't funny, IMO...

...but the scrolling text? Was.

"Man blames poorly times erection of sexy eulogizer" - funny, though I'm pretty sure I've heard that one before.

[Psiclone1]

Sorry, worst one so far.

[DeviousDynamo]

The scrolling text kept distracting  me...

"New trend in sex: vaginal intercourse"?

[4rcit4]

The actual dialogue for this one is hit-and-miss, however the delivery makes it absolutely hilarious. Probably my new favourite.

[xunatz]

HEY LISTEN UP HERE...

That was hilarious....good job.

[Lordlaneus]

ROFL litterally, as in this video actually made me laugh so hard i fell out of my chair and rolled on the floor. not kidding that really happened at 1:33 best video ever!!!!!!111!!!1ONE!!!EXCLAMA­TIONPOINT!

[Mattmoo36]

Mr. Banks touched him on the penis

[saintaureus]

Haha, awesome. Nothing like fair and balanced reporting.

[Zatarg]

This one wasn't very subtle at all.

Just seemed like a lot of silly faces and name calling to me, going for obvious and overdone jokes.

We already know that this kind of news program is horrible, so jokes about them have to bring something new to the table.

That being said, the last line was funny haha ^_^.

This would have worked better as a Short, to me.

[wcr4]

If you believe the Bible, dinosaurs were gone shortly after the Flood, thousands of years before Jesus.

[Aaberg123]

If you believe the myths in the Bible to be true... then you're a moron.

[bleachit42]

if you believe in the Bible you have poor reading comprehension.

[Baalsaack]

While I agree with the message of the video, I didn't find it particularly funny.

[MaxArt2501]

"To give you BOTH SIDES, I have dr. Sands, who believes eyeglasses are a conspiracy against the simpler cure of stabbing yourself in the eye with a steaknife. Dr. Burris?"

"Hi J.P..."

"MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR­RRRRRRGHHH!!!"

LOL!

[pjlehtim]

Thats Fox news.

Awesome video!

[CntrBrdr]

This video has been.....pharyngulated!!!!

[afterhumanity333]

Yeah that's pretty much Fox News...

But then again, old news lol.

[feckineejit]

For anyone who has ever watched FOX news, this is pretty much how it goes. He who shouts loudest wins, it doesn't matter who is right, only who appears to have won the debate.

[Balthic]

Good satire of what the crazy political correctness in modern society is doing to the nature of issues and debates.

[shill8989]

Present both sides, touch him on the penis.

I call it "The Dirty Pundit."

[alexjohnc3]

Needs some polishing (e.g., "There are millions of fossils, genetic evidence, and..." sounds funny), but overall it's really good. =)

[eugenethelamb]

Subtle, but methinks SMBC Theatre are skeptic leaning...

[LBromoHojo]

I wonder what the other side has to say about that.

[TomSFox]

And that is bad ... how?

[chavej]

"wait...what?" awesome reaction!!!

[Jackdabomb1]

Lol.

[KWalkuski]

Audio is terrible, they need to get their volume levels in check.