Chuck Norris Facts at ROFLCon

[akowiczisaninja]

Chuck norris ordered a big mac at burger king and got one

[IknowUification]

CHUCK NORRIS CAN WATCH 3D WITH SUNGLASS

[mcfartard]

when Chuck Norris gets pulled over by the cops he lets them off with a warning...

[Feddykug27]

Chuck Norris actully died 20 years ago..... Death is just to scared to tell him

[iamsupergladys]

@Feddykug27 lmao!!

[Hawkshadow97]

There are no fake Chuck Norris movies because they have all been roundhouse kicked out of our memories

[Catshit583]

Chuck Norris CAN end the undertaker's streak :)

[zlyable]

Chuck Norris used to bully Superman in high school

[80sfreak85]

Chuck Norris is the only one who can e-mail a round-house kick.

[ThEZuKane]

Chuck Norris sneezed and created a Atomix Explosion in Hiroshima, and he sneezed again and it hits Nagasaki

[SuperAissline]

Chuck Norris invented inventing

[dontblackmailme]

Best Chuck Norris fact ever!!!

Bruce Lee kicked his ass.

[vitrinh07]

@dontblackmailme so true...

[FriedChickenTF2]

@dontblackmailme FAILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL­LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL­LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL­LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL­LLLLLLLLLLLLLLl

[sardonicbynature]

nerd alert.

[ScopedUrMom]

Hit 0:01 to skip advertisement.

[EgoDeath]

Fuck you, Chuck Norris once dropped a whole hobnob into his cup of tea.

What a prick.

[kjordon1]

Whenever a rattlesnake bites Chuck, the snake gets poisoned by Chuck and it dies.

[kjordon1]

The reason why there are tornadoes is because Chuck Norris sneezes.

[clueless301]

If you Google search “Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.

[vitrinh07]

@clueless301 unitl bruce lee came

[713JBone]

Chuck Norris is the 5th element

[picklesandgravy1]

Chuck Norris has a staring contest with the sun every day. The sun always loses, and cries so hard, it just shuts its eyes, causing nighttime.

[hoboactor835]

Eminem made a song called not afraid. Little did he know, in the opening sence of the music video chuck norris was in the streets. His new album is called recovery, by the way.

[216trixie]

This Spector guy is a fucking idiot.  Chuck Norris should kick the back of his face.

[volker136]

death dosn't stalk chuck norris, chuck norris stalks death.

chuck norris's real name is epic

when chuck norris gives you the finger he's not insulting you, he's telling you how much time you have left.

chuck norris dosn't sleep, he he waits.

chuck norris reunited a boy with his dead mother.

chuck norris dosn't have guns, he has fingers.

chuck norris's teacher was afraid. he got all A's

[BedBang]

zues drops lightning bolts upon you, Chuck Norris drops the sun on you.

[pollyfog]

KRATOS FROM GOD OF WAR IS ONE OF CHUCK NORRISES SPERM CELLS

[Lemuel661]

CHUCH NORRIS LOST HIS VIRGINITY BEFORE HIS DAD AND GRANDFATHER DID............THUMBS UP IF I AM CORRECT

[DynastyHooper]

Once Chuck norris whispered in a deaf mans ear, and he shat his pants

[Deathclok]

Chuck Norris sued a book that was made from the Chuck Norris facts. Why???

[KaruroVarela]

There's no evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allowed to live

[LITTILDUFFLEBAGBOY]

people dont see there life flash before there eyes they see chuck noris making a fist

[sheepshagginbastard]

chuck norris facts are a load of unfunny shite

[jhabibthekid007]

@sheepshagginbastard ure about to get killed by chuck norris

[WilbertVereAwdry]

@sheepshagginbastard doing it wrong

[hoboactor835]

@sheepshagginbastard I can't wait until Chuck Norris punches you in the soul.

[platinumdracula]

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in evolution, and thinks the world is 6,000 years old and dinosaurs walked alongside humans.

The real facts are more depressing. :(

[Deathclok]

@platinumdracula Wrong! Chuck Norris killed all the dinosaurs 6000 years ago

[FallenPhoenix72]

I once tried to divide by Chuck Norris...never again.

[14NarutoKyuubi]

@FallenPhoenix72 Your calculator went supernove didn't it?

[TheRisingforce2000]

chuck norris broke the speed of light went back to the time of JFKENNEDY an gave him an autograph,kennedy got so excited his head exploded

[MadMunky20k]

Chuck Norris once delivered a roundhouse kick so powerful, it broke the speed of light, went back in time, and kicked Amelia Earhart out of the sky as she was flying over the Atlantic Ocean

[StankoPrvanovic0000]

chuck norris drinks watter from an empty glass!

[rasmusxp]

this is 4 years too late.

[GuineaPTwinkie]

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

[candyshit101]

there are no such thing as lesbians

just women who never met chuck norris

[iLoVeEvAnRiCkEr09]

haha lol

[turtelyturtleclub]

kids like t pee there name in snow...not chuck norris...chuck norris pees his in concrete

[NecronRon]

Chuck Norris eats cars and shits transformers.

[lolimaducky]

Chuck Norris can eat just one lays potato chip.

[RockBand1419]

Chuck Norris CAN do THAT. Insulted, he then killed John Lennon.

[lars517]

chuck norris can slam a revolving door

[DrDoofenSmirtzz]

Chuck Norris doesnt get rick roll'd He Chuck rolls

Rick Astley

[fireman0892]

theres no such thing as tornadoes chuck norris just hates trailer parks

[bapityboo]

Chuck Norris doesn't need a Twitter account, because he's already following you

[BGBOY2727]

when chuck norris gets into the pool he doesnt get wet the water gets chuck norris

[Webberjo]

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

[Rock1Golem]

Mr. T took mother nature from behind, we refer to this event as the big bang, you know what we need, more Mr. T isms.

[raysta22]

When the going gets tough, Chuck Norris kicks its ass for false impersonation

[deathdealer1995]

if by some quantum singularity chuck norris were to fight himself he would win

[Rock1Golem]

duh

[plandercozeron]

Chuck Norris can be defeated only by Chuck Norris

[summersfield2009]

Chuck Norris doesn't have AIDS but he gives it to people anyways.

Chuck Norris isn't lactose intolerant, he just doesn't put up with lactose's shit

Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility

[Kossukunkku]

# Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

#Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.

#Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

#Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.

#To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris.

#In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"

#They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take shit from anybody

[cheetos8t]

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

[Dyeballer610]

what a fucking dork

[chengda85]

wow that female reporter is hot

[D33Lux]

Osama bin ladin just turned himself into U.S. custody. He heard Chuck Norris was looking for him!

The earth doesn't revolve around the sun Chuck Norris is spinning it on his finger!

Touching Chuck Norris on his beard has been known to heal the sick!

[erzendrini]

Jezus walk on water chuck norris walk on jezus

[jaypamplona]

it Jesus walks on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land

[KidSchnuffle]

chuck norris made a fire by rubbing his fingers together

[coolbooty90]

PANGea was seperated when chuck norris round house kicked the floor

[jdolaktv]

Chuck Norris' colon can grind rocks

[zartonk]

And the God said: Let there be light!

And the Chuck Norris said: Say please...

[jaypamplona]

when chuck norris looks in a mirror theres no reflection because theres only 1 chuck norris

[D33Lux]

"when chuck norris looks in a mirror theres no reflection because theres only 1 chuck norris"

LMAO that's one of the the best ones I've heard

[wishuthedoble]

chuck norris can shoot down a plane by pointing his finger at it and saying "bang"

[enrique234432]

chuk norris's tears are the cure of cancer to bad he never cried..

[mesmashyoudie]

When Chuck Norris leap into the water he does not get wet. The water gets Chuk Norris'd.

When Chuck Norris does push-ups he's not pushing himself up; He's pushing the world down.

[risingforce1958]

chuck norris is so kool he pays himself 50 dollars for his own autograph

[risingforce1958]

some people believe 2 planes took down the twin towers during 911,actually it was Chuck Norris inside getting his nut in the restroom

[risingforce1958]

a little known fact:once while chuck norris was a texas ranger he put a saddle on rosie odonnel and enterd the bull riding contest at the houston livestock show an rodeo.

[ajarreguin3]

lol your getting sewed?

[NejiHyuga900]

Chuck Norris kileld two stones with one bird (or is it the other way around).

[ajarreguin3]

nah haha you got it right son!

[tamura808]

Rainbows happen when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks Richard Simmons.

[falulabond]

Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

[Saibot00]

Chuck Norris's I.Q. is a sideways 8

[librophile]

LIBERAL Lee vs CONSERVATIVE Chuck?

Absolutely NO CONTEST !! Bruce Lee wins !!

Chuck goes down HARD each & every time.

[demonprinceofkhorne]

chuck norris once apeared in doctor who, he took all of teh time lord's regenreations away, so the episode was never broardcast

[humnidman2]

chuck norris makes onions cry

[nutnai]

There are no weapons of mass destruction in iraq and iran-Chuck Norris lives in America!!

[vfIskullangel]

Chuck Norris is the reason why Aliens have not invaded earth.

[ROCKETBOOM]

Yes - beneath the Predator costumes are an army of Chuck Norris clones

[ChuckNorrisUnlimited]

Chuck Norris whoops ass. Come to our channel. Subscribe. Comment. Add us as a friend.

[paladinpowah]

why?

[bobilla]

in the supressed true version of the bible which has been kept secret by the catholic church for 1000 years, christs last words on the cross were not "father why hast thou forsaken me" but "chuck norris why hast thou forsaken me?"

[bobilla]

in between miracles jesus once asked chuck norris if he could have his cell phone number, chuck norris said NO

[bobilla]

heres a true fact, chuck norris real name is carlos. carlos norris hahaha

[Sniffy92]

here are two of my favorite ones

a cobra once bit chuck norris. after 5 days of excrutiating pain, the cobra died.

chuck norris can slam a revolving door

[dropyadrawers]

Every time a new president is in the Oval Office for the first time, he receives a top secret note from the previous. There is no letter, this is only the official $Chuck Norris$ legal tender. It is understood that this is already and will forever be the most important and valuable artwork/currency/document there is.

[MadPutz]

Ian is the co-president of our Entrepreneurship Program at Brown University, he's a cool guy.

[CoNiGMa]

Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago, but Death hasn't gotten up the nerve to tell him.

[CoNiGMa]

Chuck Norris can kick a fart back into someone's ass.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

Chuck Norris once ate a box of Alpha-Bits cereal and shat out the entire works of Edgar Allan Poe.

Chuck Norris once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned.

Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can actually kick you in the back of the face.

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.

[br0k3nbutt3rf1y]

OMG lol XD

When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a cow butter comes out.

When God said "let there be light" Chuck Norris said "say please"

I like yours lol they made me lol :)

[D33Lux]

LMAO I actually laughed so hard that I farted! Thank-God chuck norris wasn't around!

"Chuck Norris can kick a fart back into someone's ass.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

Chuck Norris once ate a box of Alpha-Bits cereal & shat out the entire works of Edgar Allan Poe.

Chuck Norris once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned.

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.

[jaypamplona]

theres no Ctrl button on Chuck Norris computer because hes always in control

Jesus may walk on water but Chuck Norris can swim through land...

[itsFlipz]

There is no escape key on Chuck Norris' keyboard. No one escape Norris.

[vincentdevault]

chuck norris eats babys and shits delta squad members :P

[rockerman1080]

Lol my friend has the book it says "New York Times Bestseller" and he made in one night lol at that. to make that bestseller on your book you have to have like a great book and he just made an hilarious novel in one night.

[blazinlyfe42]

Chuck Norris doesnt tea bag the ladies, he potato sacks them.

[nlm9558]

my cousin read this to me Chuck Norris ran so fast around the world he punched himself in 5 seconds

[rayz1390]

chuck norris doesnt need a calender.

he's already in tomorrow.

[dilkix]

lol, I heard Chuck Norris got a woman pregnant by looking at her for more than 93 seconds.

[arkybarky]

chuck norris loss to bruce lee

[naruto9139]

Lies!

[NapalmXD]

Bruce Lee is Chuck Norris x10. Reason he is even stranger and faster then Chuck Norris and he is Asian so he is smart too, not from dumb white guy. CHECKMATE!

[NapalmXD]

not some dumb white guy*

[SaultyevilandJetson]

Bruce Lee is dead, therfore he can't be better.

[HomelessGuyAtBestBuy]

no chuck norris killed bruce lee with a roundhouse kick to the face!

[Rock1Golem]

Actually Bruce Lee killed Chuck Norris in the way of the dragon.....OK, back to chuck norris jokes.

[HomelessGuyAtBestBuy]

i know big whoop wanna fight about it?

[SuperBrenden]

only because chuck didnt have his goutee

[SDFFDGSSDFGSDGFDGSFD]

chuck norris was once the main character in a a show called 24, the producers fired him after he killed every single terrorist in the world in 12 minutes

A chuck norris unit was once placed in Civilization III, it was taken out after 1 single chuck unit killed the world civilization combined

chuck norris was once offered as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined saying that "only a pussy needs 3 movies to destroy a piece of jewelry".

[baltoyboy]

before the boogyman goes to sleep he checks kis closet for chuck norris

[Twoteka]

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas

God wanted to make the universe in one month, chuck norris gave him 7 days

[ACletthereberockDC]

Scientits have banned human cloning because if one Chuck Norris roundhouse kick met another Chuck Norris roundhouse kick, phisysits theororize that this contact would end the universe.

[ROCKETBOOM]

Chuck Norris blew the Phoenix Lander into place.

[theolehowyadoin]

Chuck Norris does not use numchucks when playing Wii. He just swings his cock at the television

[thereject101]

you're pretty cool. i like your show.

[Musiqking06]

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a cobra. after several hours of excruciating pain, the cobra died!

[Twoteka]

chuck Norris has only had one heart attack, his heart lost.

[ono905]

chuck norris killed two stones with one bird

[beteasta3]

Omg Plz someone reply And tell me who the FUCK chuck NORRIZ is. Everyone talks about him but i dont know who he is.

[Chetes]

He's an actor of Action movies.

[apta216]

SHE IS SO HAWT

[shahherwan93]

Hahas..you are BAD!!

[TheGReaper1234]

counted to infinity -twice!!!!! lol!!!!

[DisturbedRokker]

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays chip

Chuck Norris can kill 4 birds with half a stone

There is no theory of Evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding

[calimahonda]

chuck norris can kill 4 stones with half a bird more like it

[DisturbedRokker]

i have that one in my video, its one of the video responses on this vid

[ROCKETBOOM]

Chuck Norris was named after himself.

[f123zooi]

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling bin.

Chuck Norris can right click on a Mac.

Chuck Norris shaves himself by roundhouse kicking himself in the face. Because the only man who can cut Chuck Norris IS Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was actually featured in many games, but they became a total flop because of the fact noone wanted to play a game that lasted for 3 seconds.

[porky626]

on the sixth day god created earth

on the seventh day god relaxed

until chuck norris came and gave him a roundhouse kick to the face and told him to back to work

[ROCKETBOOM]

Chuck Norris built the Great Wall of China in one day. He was busy doing other things. Like parting the Red Sea and moving Moons into place.

[fdvdfvgv]

chuck norris once ordered a big mac at burger king.and he got it

[GhettoPL]

Chuck Norris can drop the knife in cs

[chapsh]

chuck norris can write a book by using only 1 letter.

[jhonnyshakes]

Every morning when Chuck Norris wakes up he bitchslaps Satan, make him cry, and tells him: 'No complaints today!'

[ROCKETBOOM]

Zeus was pretty big but I mean, it's not like he was Chuck Norris.

[SamiPekkamIes]

Life doesn't exist. There is just some things that Chuck Norris doesn't care to kill.

[midirome]

Please, to people who speaks spanish... translate this video!!!!!

[Teamsleep451]

-Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

-Chuck Norris CAN touch MC Hammer

-Before filming each episode of Walker Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with 16 elephant tranquilizers to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

-When God Said "Let There Be Light", Chuck Norris responded "Say Please"

-Chuck Norris CAN Smell what the Rock is Cooking, because the Rock is Chuck Norris' Personal Chef.

-Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

[ROCKETBOOM]

Earth, Wind, Fire and Chuck Norris.

[mikeybo312]

Chuck norris created a rock so heavy,even he couldnt lift it. Then,He lifted it anyways to show you who the fuck chuck norris is!!

[mikeybo312]

Lead Hand Sanitizers claim to kill 99.9% of germs.Chuck Norris kills 100% of whatever the fuck he wants

[rambo01843]

jesus can walk on water,

chuck norris can swim in land

[tankbukkake]

In the beginning, Chuck Norris ruled the universe............. Some things never change.

[tankbukkake]

When Chuck Norris was in 2nd grade, the teacher ask him to do a one hundred word essay on his hero. He only wrote down two words,"ChuckNorris"

He got an A+

[ROCKETBOOM]

I think, therefore I am Chuck Norris.

[bleachedout999]

every year on his birthday chuck Norris selects one lucky child and throws him into the sun.

[RandySWilson]

"The world will end on 2012, not because it's the end of the world, but because it's the end of Chuck Norris"

[RandySWilson]

"There is no such thing as Chuck Norris Jokes, Just Chuck Norris Facts. Nobody jokes about Chuck Norris"

[Vizier88]

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anyone

[elbauzan]

the best one yet!!!

[viperdawg41192]

you're joking right?

[ROCKETBOOM]

Chuck Norris has never been hurt by what he has not said.

[T0bSure]

when Chuck Norris farts it does not blow away with the wind, the wind blows away with the fart.

[mark0wen]

chuck norris is so tough that when he plays video games they the games skip to the credits as it would take less than 1 hour for him to finish then

[ROCKETBOOM]

You can't see California without Chuck Norris' eyes.

[miketheday]

He has Betty Davis eyes.

[ROCKETBOOM]

"Are you a name or a number?" - Chuck Norris

[magikitsatsara]

chuck norris can delete recycle bin!

[gluckspilz]

this was not even cool 5 years ago

[hchen16]

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now called the Islands.

Chuck norris doesn't pee his name in snow... he pees it in concrete.

If it smells like chicken, tastes like chicken, and looks like chicken, and chuck norris says its beef. ITS BEEF

When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for CHUCK NORRIS