TEDxSF - Nicole Daedone - Orgasm: The Cure for Hunger in the Western Woman

[utuber2]

I wish someone would do this for us men :-(

[hanadelajoy]

@utuber2 do it for yourself

[Titinefer1129]

Amazing!

[txsladye]

Keep up the good work. Most ladies have never had an orgasm. Some may freak out. But once they realize how good it is..................well......­......

Love it! Love it! Love it !

[DavidSimoneTV]

thank you. amazing. i applaud you.

[manofadventure452]

28 people will never please a woman.

[ahimsainternational]

Let's see. Young woman goes to party, meets dude with a line for which she has no defenses. Before the night ends, he bids her to remove clothes, she obliges. He plays doctor, then gigolo. She loses her wits and gets into her body, compares this experience to the Dalai Lama's prophecy that women will save the world, gets a license from the State of California to promote this "therapy" and thinks people will rush to break down her door. Interesting confusion over priorities in life.

[cr7it]

Good motivation for women, now how do we men make women orgasm, HOW?

[alienhacker51]

@cr7it teach us DUH lol

[cr7it]

@alienhacker51 WTF do you mean ??...

[peterandfaith]

@cr7it You can't make someone have an orgasm. They have to get their own. You can help but you can't force it to happen.

[frwhitejr12]

If shots of the audience feel uncomfortable you are feeling your projection of your own discomfort with your sexuality. Self-awareness 101.

[frwhitejr12]

@pankyaomatic Self-aware people who understand the connection Nicole is talking about realize that the connection/experience leads to and forms the foundation for, all those things you are emphasizing. This is the whole point, people don't need to be TAUGHT anything, they need to DISCOVER.

[MyLipstickLady]

Well alrighty then... well done... an intellectual treatment of a taboo subject. A wonderful talk. Brava!

[pankyaomatic]

BS..being happy in a relationship includes the lil tiny winy bit called the orgasm..Men and Women do want to have orgasms but with multiple partners and hence it doesnt make them happy, the thirst for hearts desire can never be fulfilled with an orgasm, it will just liberate you temporarily. First men and women should be taught about love, loyalty sacrifice and compassion.

[OrgoneHawker]

this and Wilhelm Reich's study on the orgasm go hand-in-hand.

[silversurfer5090]

i love anything positive and we always have people pull in a negative thought (way to go people) in comments. you want to be negative hang by yourself

[ultrabluelake]

right on sista!

[ultrabluelake]

right on sista!

[PixySix]

The shots of the audience feel really awkward and overly long. What's wrong with just showing the person on stage giving the presentation?

[jiakchen]

As erotic mindfulness practice, OM is a fabulous method to obtain ORGASM with good quality in both females and males. But the sensations or experiences OM brings to either women or men are not ORGASM.

BTW, I do support her unique way of empowering women by awakening female's awareness or consciousness on their own sexuality....

[jiakchen]

Nicole should have clarified the difference between her invented OM and Female Orgasm. Orgasm is a subjective and objective phenomenon and a scientific term in human sexuality. It was backed up by enormous biological & neurological and psychological researches both in lab and self-report process.

[ed101poti]

the 17 people who dissliked this video are...Dicks

[soapfrogk]

I loved it... this is about we women with ourselves. we cannot blame anyone for not knowing ourselves. The hunger is for connection with ourselves, that's the starting point. From there, everything follows.Loved her point of view and proposal.

[honeybozo]

what's this with the weird cut-aways; obviously the director was not listening.... another connection gone amiss.

[skyward360]

I felt really confused as to what the cure she was talking about was..

[PleasureMechanics]

so much good stuff here, but we love to remind people that ALL of your sexual system deserves the loving attention of your partner, and you can be touched with skill and creativity and confidence not just one stroke in one spot. whatever your path, every man and woman deserves the deep nourishment of fulfilling orgasms!

[emilieellis]

We're too scared of eachother.

[LikezYou]

What, I don´t understand what you are making a fuss about. I´m not trying to sound smug or anything but this wasn´t anything new really.

[lschultz1000]

FINALLY! Please give this book and website to the MEN in your life so that they will FINALLY know how a woman derives pleasure without using his penis at all!! So many men think it;s all about intercourse and they don't understand the female orgasm....or care to a lot of times because we've been faking it way too long for their ego. Yearning for that point of 'connection' but not able to communicate it to the fragile male ego that freaks out whenever you tell/ask them "how to do it'......I

[Spazzboy911]

wet panties, everywhere!

[coralcadfish]

When addressing this topic, why not mention and acknowledge female orgasm & sexuality pioneers Betty Dodson and Lonnie Barbach? This is not news, but we tend to "fall asleep" collectively, so no doubt we need reminders like Nicole's to grant women "permission" and the space to explore and enjoy what arises naturally, and overcome the internal blocks from shame and violation most women carry internally, and unhealed. Empower yourself! ie,Don't wait for some "expert" guy at a party to ignite you!

[emmetgirl]

i love the shot of the man whispering some little joke to the woman next to him.

[upfromunder]

We were in this conversation back in the Seventies and then something happened - this conversation disappeared. I'm joyful to hear that the conversation is continuing.

[hpracing007]

People always like to over complicate EVERYTHING! Didn't like this talk.

[deZengo]

@peacefulnature10 : I am unable to add you back / but no doubt you are already in my circle of cyber soul friends! Thank you again - as I am listening to the Helen Fisher Video now. ;-) And I do believe and agree with what you say and the video (above) was much more intelligent than I imagined. I realize it can and should be beautiful - and I have studied tantra and understand how amazing an orgasm is. But like you, I prefer quality NOT quantity. :-) Much Love & Light to you and yours!

[deZengo]

@peacefulnature10 : Well said! I just listened to the video (above) and the --> Helen Fisher: The brain in love. Thanks so much for your own insight and feedback. ;-)

[deZengo]

I am not sure that I believe that SEX is the answer to all the problems of the world. OF course, I am a woman - if I were a man, I am sure I would see the world differently and embrace a video that supports orgasms .. just saying the word in the title is sure to get thousands of hits for this video. I just don't understand why we can't evolve beyond this point of humanity? Are we destined to stay in the SEX circle for EVER? Is there no way out or above? Is this is? Orgasm or bust?

[dakamaui]

@deZengo - do we want to ascend to the point where we don't need food? To where we don't need breath? Sexuality is not only part of our nature as humans, but because of the intense currents of repression and obsession we have around it (both culturally and in many individuals), it's an area that's uniquely rich for growth and integration. (Integration with love, with spirit, with our health generally.)

[deZengo]

@dakamaui : yup I do. And I believe humanity is on the way! But SEX (as we know it - has been distorted to the point) I am not sure there is much beauty left in it at the moment. When we leave this physical plane and we no longer have our genitals to keep us company and play with ... what oh what will we do? I do agree that it is natural and a part of being human - but so isn't taking a bowel movement - and no one goes around claiming it can save us all. And yet, without it, we would die.

[deZengo]

@dakamaui When we have women & children being raped every day (that is sex), an industry that makes an obscene amount of money on it (that is sex) and we have a society who needs porn (kiddie and adult) to satisfy their sexual cravings .. I am not sure that I really feel safe about this whole "sex thing." How can we be SEX positive when we are trafficking humans to satisfy this need? I appreciate sex as it is part of the procreation process - but how can anyone feel good with so much bad?

[deZengo]

No disrespect to any views - or this video. I haven't even watched it yet. But, if we are going to push SEX down as being the end all to solve the problems, then I suggest we get the members of society in line who use it cause harm, shame, pain on others. It's hard to imagine something that is suppose to be "so so so" good - having so much pain and suffering associated with it.

[unseenseer]

@deZengo

Have you checked out David Deida?

[rbkotsf]

@duffmcduffee - OneTaste doesn't equate "orgasm" and "climax". We extend the orgasm to continue to sensation beyond what anyone thinks is possible. Check out OneTaste.us for more information. I think we're saying the same thing.

[duffmcduffee]

Not all sex-positive "sexperts" agree that orgasm, male or female, is either required or desired. Practitioners of karezza avoid orgasm in favor of heightened pleasure through "bonding behaviors" like skin-to-skin contact, eye gazing, etc.

Marnia Robinson, in her well-articulated book Cupid's Poisoned Arrow, gives neurological and anecdotal evidence that for at least some percentage of people, orgasm leads to mood disturbances and even increased likelihood of infidelity.

[MrJukebox12]

Wow! Proof that the world HAS changed... it's about time!

Great job Nicole! Thank you for standing up and speaking what has needed to be said for a LOOOONG time!

[marveladeguitar]

Technique is described in detail in "the 4-hour body" (Tim Ferriss' book, quoted in the description)

[IbnNero]

all these perverted sex coaches are from the same spot :san Fransisco

[ql3er]

Samo mnogo je RUZNA! 

[GrobarBorcha]

Will it help dieing children in Africa!!??

[awaken69]

most annoying woman ever.

[sandhaninc]

Turned on women around the world led by Western woman ARE changing the world...Brilliant... thanks for speaking out Nicole....the world is starving for natural intimacy and physical pleasure ...

[StraightOuttaDC]

So, um...

Is there a point in the video that I can skip to that shows techniques to ensure that women orgasm? I don't want any woman to know me as the guy that couldn't make them cum. I'm sure most guys feel the same.

[ConsultSystemsGirl]

How Refreshing! xxoox



[skippa777]

wow she talks soo much bull sh*t

[jimberlina09]

Really, some people have to much free time. Feeding the puss to make it happy I got it.

[AmberKrzys]

You are so courageous in sharing and honoring your message! Thank you. It is so important.

[boysiepay]

Very powerful message, I hope all woman and men get a chance to hear or see it.

[greenelf12]

1:30 - All women nicole Really? all women? ever heard of asexuality? I feel uncomfortable with any sugestion that say's "everyone must think like this"..

[quitejaded]

@greenelf12 She does say that it is DIFFERENT for everyone. And that orgasm is not what you are typically thinking. This sounds like a 15 minute advertisement for her services.

[greenelf12]

@quitejaded What's different? I need to grasp the context (the only thing I can find is that evreyone has different rgasims!), but evreyone has a different core, I do meditation classe's and sure some people might get to the core of hemselves and think "orgasim!", we all have diffrent truth's and yes it is like a 15 minute add.

[personallytraining]

@greenelf12 @quitejaded - I think what she is saying (I've read her book) is that the model for male orgasm (built around climax) is often used as the model for female orgasm. Women's bodies work differently if you give them the chance to, which is what OM offers. I didn't get this either. It's been my experience that men are usually dissatisfied with sex if they don't climax whereas women don't necessarily feel like they have to climax. This is a subtle indicator of what she's pointing to.

[personallytraining]

@greenelf12 @quitejaded If you want to know more about what i am talking about, try the practice as she describes it, or maybe try having sex and not climaxing. Stop when it feels like the next thing you want to do is go for a climax. Stop at that very second and feel the sensation in your body. It may feel like there is a lot of something in there that doesn't have anywhere to go. Thats the kind of orgasm she is talking about, what's in there that doesn't necessarily need climax. Raw energy.

[greenelf12]

@personallytraining ok fine, but that wasn't really my gripe, my issue was that she seemed to present it as a solution to evreything and this "disire" is the key for evreyone it's generlising the comment was "the female orgasim is vital for evry single woman on the planet" - but different people have difrent cores to their nature, and if you are asexual you would find the coment she made there quite marginalizing. the title of the video was "the cure for hunger" - in all case's?

[personallytraining]

@greenelf12 Thanks for the response! Hopefully I understand... I don't think anybody is anything but right the way they are in terms of their sexual preferences. It sounds like maybe she struck a nerve with you. What I heard her say in that bit about the Western Woman's Mantra is that we binge and starve ourselves trying to touch this hunger. If we assume that each part of a female body that has an appetite deserves to be fed, does asexuality equate to starving? If so, she's got a point.

[greenelf12]

@personallytraining "does asexuality equate to starving?" No aboslutly not :o).

in thse term's I sugest that asexuality is lack of the apitite, you can't be starving if you re not hungry, and with that I would susgest there is more than one way to fill the hole. what she is saying probably makes sence in the corect context, I just feel she seems to lack perspective on the wide specturum of the human individual, it's very one size it's all.

[personallytraining]

@greenelf12 Ah, I see where I missed you there. I think for many people feeling sexual appetite is a vital part of being alive. If one didn't feel it and wanted to, this would be quite the revelation! On the internet, there are thousands if not hundreds of thousands of people who are looking for just that. For me, my desire in life doesn't discriminate between sex and other aspects. I find that if I shut it down in one place, I lose access to it in other places. It made sense to me.

[personallytraining]

@greenelf12 you, know... I was thinking about what you said "you can't be starving if you're not hungry". I don't necessarily buy that. I think hunger is the conscious response to the state of starvation. Its also possible to be starving and not aware of it. For example, the metabolism of an anorexic is low which has them not feel their hunger, but their bodies are obviously malnourished. I think she is saying that appetite, regardless of what we are feeding works by these mechanisms.

[greenelf12]

@personallytraining I tihnk we are going of in a diferent direction here alough your analogy has some truth to it Aneorexia isn't comparable to Asexuality, If I was to draw a comparison I'd say meateater vs vegitarians ( aougth there is a problem there too as vegitainisim is a choice, but you should know what I mean.) Asexuals don't ignore any hunger just feed it diferently.

[sirnose]

@greenelf12 Not her opinion: "Oxytocin evokes feelings of contentment, reductions in anxiety, and feelings of calmness and security around the mate.[18] Many studies have already shown a correlation of oxytocin with human bonding, increases in trust, and decreases in fear. One study confirmed that there was a positive correlation between oxytocin plasma levels and an anxiety scale measuring the adult romantic attachment." - Wikipedia article on Oxytocin. I think this is what she's referring to.

[greenelf12]

@sirnose It's not just there though the whole thing seems to be filled with a cure all mentality, I dunno I'd probably have to talk to her personaly because she keep's banging on about just one thing it look's like she lacks a wholelistic perspective. Also i'm not sure if Orgasim and Oxytocin is exactly the same thing, so am not entirly sure what you are geting at there.

[sirnose]

@greenelf12 totally hear you about the "cure all" stuff. She definitely sees the world her way. I've seen her speak a few times in SF and I'm familiar with some of the reference material she uses to back up what she says. There is this book called A General Theory of Love as well as a book called The Chemistry of Connection that talks about Oxytocin being the neurological glue that has us feel connected to other people. Oxytocin is released in few times, one being in orgasm. Fascinating to me.

[monsterratcaballe]

@greenelf12 @sirnose Oxytocin also causes uterine contraction during birthing.I have birthed 6 children and would describe childbirth as very intense orgasmic experiences.

[dijondavies]

@monsterratcaballe : Birthed 6 children? What are you...........a cat?



[bastiat6865]

@greenelf12 orgasm does not mean only "sex". Pranic energy; life force energy, may be distilled into many facets of human existence. Why does that statement induce such vitriol for you?

[greenelf12]

@bastiat6865 The word orgasim? it dosen't, "Pranic energy; life force energy, may be distilled into many facets of human existence" -If that is what she means she dsen't make it clear or much of anything to be honest. I've made several comments already, I feel I hve to keep repeating myself, but to sumerise she apears to have a one cure fits all atitude when in relaity some people are just arn't that sexual and some have a diffrent "truth" at the source of tmenselves.

[icedcool]

It is tantra... just her take on it.

[spiriality]

Everything she is speaking about reminds me of Tantra (thus far on my study of it).

[johnsonbrosmgmt]

@spiriality i had this question too. from her site:

"The answer is yes and no. I usually say OM is like tantra, except stripped of the positions and the cultural references. By that I mean that tantra is very closely tied in with Eastern religious tradition, where OM is not. Tantra often includes visualization, chanting, and the redirection of sexual energy. The instructions for OM are far more basic: Pay attention to sensations you can feel in your body."

To me, this is a huge difference.

[icemanbx]

So, then, what about men? Do only women have this intense "hunger"?

I'm pretty sure guys like this connection too.

[sirnose]

@icemanbx just a thought... I'm a guy and when I want sex I just ask for it, exactly how i want it. I have noticed that women have a much, much harder time asking for what they want. There's a lot of fear and shame around their desire. I think you're right in that men and women both have hunger, but men's resistance to their hunger is low whereas women's resistance to their hunger is high. So, everybody getting full is dependent on everybody learning to work with their own resistance.

[icemanbx]

@sirnose Interesting, thanks for your reply. As far as the actual practice goes, I wonder if there is an equivalent for men. I'd like to know :)

That being said, I guess I can imagine the growth for me if I would to this with and to a girl/woman. Seems like a...."spiritual" excersise. I wish I had another word for it, I hate using 'spiritual' in this context. So, in the end everybody wins? The girl just wins a little more, which is all fine by me.

[sirnose]

@icemanbx Short answer (from her book, B+/A- IMO) - yes, naturally there is an equivalent. My 2c on the whole spiritual practice thing: if relating to women (including learning to stroke their genitals well) and being willing to tell them the whole truth AND hear the same in return ISN'T spiritual practice I'm not sure what is!

[jbmaru]

Now I wish this guy taught her how to make men feel the same satiety.

[michellecw1]

This is really amazing, thank you for forging a new frontier.

[solutionbox]

you nailed it. GREAT close!

[drcindybrown]

Nicole thank you for being passionate and courageous enough to share your wisdom with the world! You are giving women the language and permission to celebrate their bodies and God-given right to experience pleasure like never before. So many women deny themselves this and give up! Come on turned on women share this with your friends, be courageous to communicate your needs and desires to your partner. Get help from a therapist or coach if you need help with this process. Give yourself the gift!

[drcindybrown]

Nicole thank you for being passionate and courageous enough to share your wisdom with the world! You are giving women the language and permission to celebrate their bodies and God-given right to experience pleasure like never before. So many women deny themselves this and give up! C'mon turned on women share this with your friends, be courageous to communicate your needs and desires to your partner. Get help from a therapist or coach if you need help with this process. Give yourself the gift!

[drcindybrown]

Nicole thank you for being passionate and courageous enough to share your wisdom with the world! You are giving women the language and permission to celebrate their bodies and God-given right to experience pleasure like never before. So many women deny themselves this and give up! C'mon turned on women share this with your friends, be courageous to communicate your needs and desires to your partner. Get help from a therapist or coach if you need help with this process. Give yourself the gift! <3

[drcindybrown]

Nicole thank you for being passionate and courageous enough to share your wisdom with the world! You are giving women the language and permission to celebrate their bodies and God-given right to experience pleasure like never before. So many women deny themselves this and give up! C'mon turned on women share this with your friends, be courageous to communicate your needs and desires to your partner. Get help from a therapist or coach if you need help with this process. Give yourself the gift! <3

[pattiluv]

How incredible that this information on female orgasm is reaching the broader world at large. Nicole Daedone, the author of "Slow Sex", has the courage and great compassion to bring this message out with humor, clarity, and juiciness. The world will truly be a better place with this information. Thank you, Nicole. Let's see you at National Ted next!

[tawnjamabs]

Nicole, you are brilliant! Thank you for being brave enough to say yes to the experiment with that guy and curious enough to research and create OM! and for wanting to share this amazing " birthright to perceive and receive pleasure." Love it! If my grandmother was alive.... she would be all over this!! ;) Congratulations on Slow Sex, I love it and have been telling all my peeps that they HAVE TO GETTHIS BOOK! Life changing! Much love, Tawnja

[lynannking]

Nicole, You are brilliant! Love the turned on women of the world and those that dare to stroke us! Well done sharing speech, authentic, insightful, tasteful. Congratulations on the launch of your new book "Slow Sex" - you're the new sensual icon! Love, LynAnn

[agorafilms]

"The new definition of orgasm is not going to be that fleeting act of climax that seems to hold the whole rest of the act hostage, but is rather a definition that works with the female body." Wow! I suddenly feel like I've been missing out on a deeper level of my own sexuality/vitality. Thank you Nicole for your courage to carry this torch on behalf of women. You are a revolutionary!

[waojoe]

Congratulations goddess! Well done!

WeAreOne.cc - We Are One, Inc.

[jwbrook]

"... when I was returned to my birthright of my capacity to perceive and receive pleasure."

"So rather than trying to stuff a woman's body into an ill fitting definition, we have the definition work with what the woman's body does."

Cool.

[msnaomicolb]

Brilliant, Nicole. You found the words, the humor, the way of being to deliver the message in just the way people can receive it:) Clean and compelling.

Thank you. I feel gratified that I was able to contribute to your journey.

[aimeetoons]

Wow. Required viewing for all women!! (and guys too!!)

[rosailinka1]

Wow! This is one of the best talks I've seen on TED!

[mariaappelqvist]

Love it and in particular her final words that it is turned-on women globally who change the world and those who dares to stroke them. From now on my favorite quotation.

[yvang1005]

This is so great! I've been searching on TED and TEDx for talks addressing sex/orgasm and women and have only found 2 other women who's talk about this subject-both highly respected women. This is the first of which it's actually addressing the issue around women sexuality. Thank you TED!

[antoinetteperry2006]

Gorgeous talk from a woman who brings a life-changing message to women (and men) everywhere.

[alishajprice]

I love the cheers in the audience when she announces "my topic... Female Orgasm!"

[rbkotsf]

I saw Nicole's lecture live at TedxSF and LOVED it. Watching it again is so amazing. Her talk is brilliant and enjoyable to watch. Love her expression when she calls her life's work, "diddling". Bring that message!