Funny ATC conversations

[Labtec600]

Who the fuck owns ATC conversations??????

[Labtec600]

@Labtec600 Oh - DUH - it's text only and the SONG is copyrighted

[linuxbot3000]

This video contains an audio track that has not been authorized by all copyright holders. The audio has been disabled. More about copyright

[TomekHujek151]

great At an ATC in Germany: Wow!

[AVMamfortas]

I was a controller handling a canberra bomber from another base going around my circuit for two hours. Round and around he went. Two days before an aircraft from the same unit doing the same boring routine had to divert as he was late getting back and his CO had closed their airfield. So I said, "Better hurry home sunshine, your CO likes to close shop early". He replied, I AM their CO".

[sajo2010]

This is so f***ing good!!! The morning was going to the depressive side but you cheered my day, thx for the video.

[local1114]

2:43 XD

[k2477456]

you missed one of the maintenance ones it was

Problem: noise coming from instrument panel, sounds like a midget banging on it with a hammer.

solution: Hammer taken away from midget.

[bobbackwards18]

the problems and solutions made me laugh!

[michiganman678]

WHO DISLIKED IT TEHSE ARE FUNNY

[LGTheOneFreeMan]

Fuck the copyright holders. They ruined it!

[SenorSpode]

At an ATC in Germany:

Pilot 1: (Asks for clearenaces in German)

ATC: "Last pilot to broadcast, the official aviation language is English, please us it"

Pilot 1: "Tower, I am a German citizen flying a German aircraft out of a German airport. Please explain why I cannot speak in German"

Pilot 2: (In English accent) "Because you lost the bloody war, chum!"

That actually happened.

[SenorSpode]

Problem: "IFF not operative"; Remedy: "IFF was OFF. Next time turn ON".

[globemaster68]

ATC TO skywest 6389

you have a piper 4 miles on your 12 o' clock

skwywest6389 to ATC

cannot see piper in the visual, i can find it on my fishfinder *TCAS* though

[mikester1290]

Wheres the banana phone music?

[stamenkolarov]

I've heard #5. Highway directions were more detailed and it was funnier but thus one is good as well

[FSXflyer12]

Left tire Almost needs replacing

Left tire Almost replaced

Must of been the DC10 in front of that concord

[k2477456]

@FSXflyer12 oh thats jus' turrable hilarius but jus' turrible

[almeidamd11]

Ok... this one is very simple, but true, I heard it myself around one month ago.

Pilot to ATC: "(airline XXX) - Request Higher"

ATC to pilot: "How HIGH can you get?

[sk8drumdie0116]

I'm so going to use 4 if I ever get the chance.

[captainmorgan757]

Tower: ..Northwest 316 reduce to final approach speed..

NWA316: ..reduce to final approach speed Northwest 316..

Tower: ..Northwest 316 I need you to reduce to your final approach speed!..

NWA 316: ..reducing to final approach speed..

Tower: ..Northwest 316 you're over-taking company ahead...either you reduce to your final approach speed or I'll have to cancel your approach clearence..

NWA 316: ..son, do you know what the stall speed of a 747 is!!!?..

Tower: ..no, but I bet your F.O. does!

[Sting3733]

I said I was fu**ing bored! not fu**ing stupid!

[400LSPILOT]

Funny stuff but of course it's all fake.

[TheDeepBlueWater]

Some of these are definitely fake, but worth a chuckle imagining them in real life.

[BRAVOADD]

Something loose in cockpit....Something tightened in cockpit. hilarious

[fremag123vif]

unknown plane: im fu**ing bored

Tower: Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediatly!

unknown plane: I sad I was fu**ing bored! not fu**ing stupid!

XD

[dbflyboy917]

fuck off WMG! you have provided no use to any of us! and never have!!

[cazacu44]

mouse in cockpit :)) cat installed! :)) the funniest! :))))

[simpledudeable]

The IFF, LMOA!!! XD

[SallySatisfied]

Oboy, I can literally say; the first time I heard these, I almost fell off my dinosaur from laughing so hard.

[micheal751]

#.3 best one ever!

[Canisestlupus]

faken lold at muted sound

[waelosamadaas]

loooooooooooooooooooool!!!!!

[FLPanthersandMarlins]

roflmao #2!

[chrigiammann]

nice

[Dod0900]

where is the first part?

[TheSaadAhmed125]

lol!

[pingpongpung]

@DVDSNutz Fuck off spammer.

[tomcat8492]

The IFF one is funny.

[Loxspliff]

"im fucking bored' LOL

[imdicatf]

hey ! no song !?

[RoleModelEnterprises]

Guadalupe exit off 101 is way southeast of Sky Harbor.

You might like a little FAA comedy web series. Take a look at my channel. I made a movie, "Budget Justified," about what it was like to work in FAA offices in Washington.

[umahuma4]

My favorite

Problem reported: whinging sound on engine shutdown.

.

Solution: Pilot removed from aircraft

[JEFTEJRF]

excellent.

[Hypnixio]

youtube can shit on their pants, no sound.

[TSmirk]

I shit on Youtube.

[nikosyv]

ATC

[tickle2012]

man that fokker guy who made the fokker plane.........how did he survive his childhood without being teased?

[pelletencate]

He was Dutch. :D And yes, his last name was Fokker (which is quite a common name here in Holland...)

[redkachina]

damnnn..very funny lol

[watchingavideo74]

goodamn wmg. great song great vid

[FZ1008]

theres no doubt that all these are true,at least atc n pilot r not f*****g bored during work hours!!!

[FunkyZangel]

I think the ground engineers part weren't true. Filling up the records with wanting the plane to be serious is definitely not acceptable in this kind of jobs

[Fizbanic]

Actually it is acceptable if there is a vague description of the problem given.

How as an engineer would someone know what the exact problem is with that description? We are not pilots who are able to fly the plane itself so telling us something vague like that is truely unacceptable. At least my training was concentrating on learning to fix the damn things and recreational flight as a hobby nothing serious.

[FunkyZangel]

are you supporting me or?

[EuroBerlin92]

I like the 2nd one:-)

[flyboy83297]

i think these are true, with all the pressures of being an airline pilot, you need to let out some humor out of ureself, that s were its all found

5/5

[lama24alwayz]

I think some of these were true, all were funny

[3030mg1]

They were all pretty damn funny, but I doubt they were true

[dannepanne87]

Lovely! :D

[KlagTerrow]

This is stupid, and the music sucks

[masterpilot94]

we don't care about what you think and your comment is useless

[lin0328]

lol...mouse in cockpit...

[m20sderby]

I believe these would happen "im f*****g bored, Not Stupid" lol!!!

Its the humour of the airline cockpit crew!!!! And ground engineers!!!

[bozotheda]

I don't doubt these conversations took place. I've heard some funny ones myself.

[YZBrad]

Funny stuff! I heard this one morning while i was doing a run up

ATC: "Cessna 123 do you have whiskey?" ( referring to atis info.)

Pilot: "I have whiskey, if you have some coke we can start this party!"

[krsi3]

@YZBrad WFT ? xD

[OJpilotboy]

@YZBrad Do you have whiskey? '' sorry dont drink''

[ArcAngel9008]

LMAO #4

[SpiralHunter0]

lol i got the little fokker in sight lol

[emt0806]

you're missing the one of;

TOWER: air france 3990 report position

PLANE:...(no answer)

TOWER; air france 3990 report position!

PLANE:...(no answer)

TOWER: F****ING AIR FRANCE 3990 REPORT YOUR POSITION!

PLANE:...

TOWER(to himslef): this is like my f***ing wife...when you call her she never answers!

PLANE: here airfrance flight3999 maybe if you called your wife by her actual name she might bloody answer, position 27LL southwest

TOWER: alright sorry bout that

[vicarexar]

LOL which vid is that?

[krsi3]

@emt0806 only shit what a ATC guy xD

[nuffin22]

LOL THis good :D good laugh

[rnzafdude]

Okay, besides the Fokker, I doubt these had happened. But good laugh.. Lol.. esp the Engineer ones =D

[jamestakeshi]

hahaha..great laugh!!

[amediastintas]

Im a pilot theres a website called avweb. and most of these seem to be true as they were submitted by pilots telling stories of what happened. its pretty funny what happens in the air.

[mbraase]

Back when I was a crew chief on F-15s in the Air Force, we had a bunch of these Pilot-Maintenance log jokes like whats on the end of this vid. My all time favorite was

Pilot - "Sounds like a little man in the rear cockpit hammering on metal."

Crew Chief - "Took hammer away from little man and made him promise never to do it again."

I still get a kick out of it. LOL

[dash8brj]

hehe as if the mouse would be enough troubles - now the pilots would need to entertain a cat in there as well as fly the plane :)

[aviator147]

number 2 lol, i like that one

[ZeGingerNinja]

"I said I was fucking bored, not fucking stupid"

Brilliant :D

[iremmeber]

I think you misunderstood, these are common aviation jokes - not real recordings!

[aviationman212]

they started off as atc recordings. But yeah, i hear these all the time because they're all over the internet. it's really funny

[keenair]

It wouldnt suprise me with the humour that ATC actually have and some engineers.. ive seen this sort of stuff happen with being around an airfield for 16 yrs.. an my dad being an ATC contoller.

[samborlon]

Somthing loose in cockpit, --> Something tightened in cockpit !!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!

[BertThrasher]

This guy took these from a Magizine

[DSCDominat0r]

I said I was bored...not stupid..... LMAO!

[OSCARA320]

I don´t think they´re true

[DayJetFan]

this is stupid

[JonnySchretz]

iff always inop when turned off XD

[giroffti]

noise now familiar hahahahaha

[cammander747]

To the best of my knowledge all these are actual ATC transmissions and Engineer Log Sheets are true

Brian(pilot)

[1053857]

Umm, LOL, I don't think a real pilot would spell COMMANDER; CAMMANDER.

And I'm sure you would you proper grammar in your sentence.

[cammander747]

Well spotted lad. but there is a dead good reason for "CAMMANDER747" and that is the user name "COMMANDER747" was already taken

[sparky0083]

One should also notice that when you comment by correcting someones grammar, you should exercise using such skills yourself. In the comment above, you said

"And I'm sure you would you proper grammar in your sentence."

Nice try though!

[johnnyojeo]

these are lame compared to actual tapes I have from 25+ years as a controller!

[thejerk292]

unfamiliar noise

become familiar

hahahaa

[iwannaplaycs]

For #2, I thought that ATC instructs a plane to change altitude, not direction, when two planes are about to occupy the same airspace.

[albertofranco14]

both depends where

[Dod0900]

please some more!!

[kcjliveshows]

Cat installed

[daspidrr]

awesomeee! just let everybody know by adding a description to this vid 'cause i have it as one of my fav!

thankss dave

[brcakb]

what's the name of this song??

[askewstuart]

'ruby' by the kaiser chiefs

[gomichiganrailmst3k]

I got the little Fokker in sight.

[davidneibig]

I have it on reasonably good authority that both 2 and 3 are true. Apparently incidents similar to number 3 are not too rare an occurence

[FlyingTheBestBoeing]

LMAO i like the one with the DC-10 i am not a fan of the crashing DC-10

[godricsandhollow]

LOL 3 and 4 are totally true! I would totally try 3 sometimes.

[dinterinbebin]

Yeah knoppma, yur're right. This problems and actios taken are from Qantas, an airline from Australia. There is also another funny report missed.

"Pilot": There are oil leak evidences at the left main gear.

"Maintenance": Evidences removed.

Nice video...

[knoppma]

the part with the problem and action reports should be real. Someone told me these are reports from Quantas.

[FSXpilot24]

you know these are probably not real but damn there funny good vid 5stars

[dave46563]

1: It's not my music. It's Kaiser Chiefs

2: The vid mentions that there are no audio recordings. That's why I used the 'blowing' music.

3: What's a knife?

[jesusgonebad]

yeah I don't know what a knife is either...

Great video btw. funny if they actually happened!!

[planemadmatt]

lol

[djwoodhouse]

most of these are industry jokes lol but the "im f**king bored" one is a true story

[darcougar]

hilarious!!

[framelocator]

How about this one:

I was waiting in my cessna 172 for my turn to taxi to the runway while a Cricri made it's run for take off.

This is what atc said to me: Mind wake turbulence.:-)

[windogmassey1]

ha ha ha nice

[omegaice8]

Thee Litter Fokker lol

[crazy91111]

The Fokker one is true. Or could very well be true.

[peterb31]

ok let me clear this up, i am a pilot with pvt, inst, com, me, ratings as well as a cfi, cfii. i have been flying for 9 years, and have been an terminal controller for 5. I obviously dont know all conversations that go on because im not omniscient. The most joking i have ever heard was a pilot (jokingly) offered my 50 bucks to move him up in the traffic pattern. You usually have a very high workload, and you dont have time to be messing around on the comms. Notice there is no audio for this!?

[crazy91111]

Of Course this is not going to go on with major airlines. But it does happen often with small airports, and small planes.

[jluisochoa]

Believe me, it really happens in real life, once I made a very short landing in Mexico City Airport hoping to get a short way to the gates and the ATC told us "Very beautifull landing captain, now go to the end of the runway because they are waiting for you at north position 42"

[jluisochoa]

Well, i've heard of a Quantas crew flying a DC-10 for a test flight after a major service and reported "Autoland is very rough", mechanics reported "Autoland is not installed in this aircraft".

[peterb31]

i know... the truth isnt always as pretty as fantasy. oh well.

[SoldierAlexandra]

lol!ahahahahah!!!!!

[peterb31]

bullshit.. none of these are true.. the dialog ATC has to use is very regulated, and there is no way conversations like that would be going on in a remotely serious nature. as far as maintenance logs... the FAA can and does check those logs and they have to also pass routine landmark hourly inspections... no way an airline would let a mechanic(engineers dont fix planes) log that as an actual fix to a problem...so all of your fathers who "know" these are true are just as full of crap as you are.

[dawgfan47pd]

man youre a party pooper dude

[XLBigRichard]

Controllers and Pilots get bored with their jobs just like everyone else, and like to say unexpected witty things. And I believe all of them. Yes its supposed to be regulated by random tape checks - like once a year. And the worst they gonna do is slap you on the wrist. Here's one I heard....

Controller - "I'm about to switch you over, you can forward that request with the next controller, contact..."

Pilot - "Center, did you say you were gonna switch me over or bend me over?"

[mattisnotonfire]

You don't have a clue what you are talking about. I am an avionics engineer and my job is to fix problems on planes and log a report.

Please don't talk about stuff that you know nothing about. Or at least do a little research first, you ignorant fool.

[peterb31]

Hmm i find it quite humorous that an engineer from england (americas 51st state)is telling me about ATC, when i am an air traffic controller. lol Im not sure how they do it in jolly little england,but im well connected with the goings on of the real world aka the major us carriers. im sure you fix (avionics)and log reports,but thats not what this video is referring to. so tell me mr self proclaimed expert, are these real atc conversations? perhaps you should read your last paragraph yourself.

[triniphoenix007]

more like this..."welcome to englnad(making funny faces) gahhh!!..."contact ground on 123.45...gahhh

[Cdtjscott]

that americas 51st state bit really annoyed me. -.-

[chefadong]

you said you were a pilot and atc guy. WTF

[Crumulent]

hahahhahahhahaha how old are you? 12?

[peterb31]

12? Is that a sentence? Is English your second language?

[Crumulent]

Hahhahahahhahhah youre the dumbest fuck in the world, you must be 12.

Quote from you:

12? Is that a sentence? Is English your second language?

''12'' is a question you dumbass, it is correct.

And then you come along and say the same thing as I said, and then you TRY and make a point with my grammar, not realising that you have just done the same...

you must be 12.

GTFO ur the biggest loser in the world

[mysterygrl0909]

I can believe all of these haha. I've heard a couple of things of the sort on the radio.

[askedenseje]

LOL :P

[ncodrington]

Cat installed...hahaha!

[DragonClutch]

i liked the unfamiliar noise

[blakstadboy]

very funny,at least first part was real,heard from my college.

[pilotnerd101]

the maintinence ones were fake, the atc ones were real

[jackhamiltonbuilder]

nah some of those maintenance ones were real.. they came from qantas

[PilotOfNorway91]

lol?

[jackhamiltonbuilder]

true story, my my father's heard all about them. he's a qantas pilot

[forerunner2008]

the best one i think is this one:

there was a delay at one of the airports(cant remember which) and all the pilots were mad. Then the ATC told them there would be a farther delay and one of the pilots said "bullshit".then the ATC said "last aircraft identify yourself". Then every single one of the pilots reported in as being "negative on the bullshit".

[Bellamut]

Haha, I've heard lot's of stories like these and every one cracks me up.

Unknown: I'm bored. Correction, I'm ****ing bored!

London Control: Last transmission, identify yourself immediately!

Unknown: I said I was ****ing bored, not ****ing stupid!

Heard on PPRuNe :)

[forerunner2008]

the best funny ATC conversations are on bussiness balls

[ASSHOLESHITBITCXH]

i loved it, but the 1st one wasnt real for sure, because if they had the traffic at 6 o'clock, it would be directly behind them, so how could they see them. i loved the video, its very funny, but the 1st one not real for sure

[forerunner2008]

what r u talking about?

[grr915]

no no it was 10 o'clock "6" Miles

[pilotboyohio]

ruby rubyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[a0p0a070]

seen it. they r fake. the website that publishes them are fake. i know this as i used to work for them and write fake council letters. funny never the less.

[LufthansaDAIGO]

Some ATC´s at Frankfurt, are rude. So they expect the arriving pilots to know their gate. One this chat come along with the ATC and a British Pilot (dunno wether its true or not!):

T: "...Speedbird xxx taxi to your gate!"

Speedb.: "hang on a second Sir..."

T: "Speedbird xxx, did you never fly to Frankfurt before??"

SPeedb.: "Yes I did. In 1941 but I didn´t stop... ^^"

[CurlyBlakey]

when i went to frankfurt once we were in a queue waiting for a taxi (about 10 people) when these germans shove in and this english guy next to us explained in german what happens in a queue (join the back and all that), the germans got really angry said something in german and were then quiet. then from the back comes an english voice simply saying "don't mention the war"

[JagsPPL]

Wondered when someone would say that one! Still my favourite!!

[midair55]

I was a controller at Nashville Airport. A US Air flight made a VERY hard landing. So hard we all moaned in unison. As the aircraft rolled out, the tower controller issued the instruction of, "US Air 123, Up periscope, hard right rudder, contact ground point niner."

[midair55]

A real one.....

A Captain complained by asking a Miami Approach Controller. "Are all these turns necessary!!??".  Controller responded with, "I betting your life on it Captain!".

PATCO Lives!

[TGMB1]

lol ;P

[B757200ER]

what is name of than song?????

[Astro777lover]

Ruby - Kaiser Chiefs

[DunderMifflinpeople]

I said i was fuckin bored and not fuckin stupid. bahahahahah. I laughed at all of them!

[majhankee]

lol I love the Fokker one and the noise abenment one.

[Raptor05121]

ive read those before and actually used the Fokker one over the comms once flying from Heathrow to Dublin. Little Fokker F70 was flying my reverse route and center told me: "Tame 296, traffic 5 miles, 1 o'clock, Fokker" and I was in a B738 and I told him: "Center, Tame 296, I've got that Fokker in sight" got a few laughs from other pilots over the coms (not allowed) but even the controlled laughed when he was issuing his next instruction to another plane

[chestacity4lyf]

1:32 priceless

[FlightTeamOne]

FUNNY!!!! YOU ARE GREAT!!!

[aviationman212]

that last one must be a military plane because commercials planes have transponders instead of IFF. IFF tells you whether or not to fire on the aircraft. hehe

[uvmatt3000]

IFF always inoperative in 'off' mode. LOL

[wildcat2596]

priceless

[FlightTeamOne]

WOW atc would never say that from my point of view. i've visited it a couple times and I find it hard to believe that would really happen

[pilotnerd101]

i agree. but then u gotta think, wow. after a while, saying protocol must get boring

[FlightTeamOne]

yeah youre right, but boy did it take a while for someone anyone to respond:)

[gavin53uc]

blimey that was flamming hilarious btw!!! stomach cramp and tears with how funny that was. 5 stars.

[89liam146]

good video well done but some of them are abit stupid

[yousafali08]

this is crap

[Viveyoshi]

What is the music ?