Chris Rock-Never Scared-Married Life

[Indaingiver12]

All mairrage I never met any one over 20 years that was happly mairrade

[espionage69979]

WHATS IN THE TEA ? WATER BITCH !! LOL ,THUMBS ME UP TOO!

[BurlyTheNord]

Whoa lotta niggas in that audience.

[captainshitto]

HE SHOULD BE IN JAIL AFTER WHAT HE DID TO RHIANNA

[lukaskaetano]

@captainshitto hahahahahaha. U jokin right?

[captainshitto]

@lukaskaetano yeah:)

[darkdialga777]

@captainshitto i can't take you sieriosly with your username

[captainshitto]

@darkdialga777 i dont give a fuck what you think about anything:)



[obglobgablob]

The funnier thing would have to be that just about everyone watching this video has seen this unfold at numerous dinner parties and functions throughout their life. Married people can be a little depressing, sometimes.

[CodenameWraith]

I've repeatedly told my best friend to kill me if I ever want to get married.

[captainshitto]

@CodenameWraith good move

[mjbaybgurl]

grown man play date...lmao

[EdrineKasasa]

i love this guy

[cenafan287]

Hey you gave me crabs,exciting huh. HAHAHA

[neocrap]

aint no happiness nowhere!

[manyjasons]

I love chris rock

[TheJaegerbomb101]

might as well be a third top comment because i dont think i know whats in the tea..

[slikdiez1]

and in the water is tea?

[TheCoonNdFriends]

again with the same top comments...

[naz062]

Definitely the funniest he's been !

[sikeologist]

3:00 kept it GANK

[ancientstaffpub]

1:29 lol i love that guy

[welldonefromhereon]

Classic!!!! Probably the funniest he's ever been!!!!!!

[theAYLEEYUN]

You just gotta find the right girl

[leoris87]

poker face for 3:30

[utubestar747]

go on tell us some of yo cracky tales.. lmfaoooooooooooooooo

[BlackIce700]

Once you get married, you have to hang around other married people.. AND THATS JUST DISGUSTING.

[natecorn2007]

BABAHAHAHAHA OMG THIS IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT EVER!

[SvItoJ]

see? when your married ur bored bored as hell., and after this,, hey fellas do u ever seen your women watching u sayin nothing? do you know what it means? it means your woman thinking ,, Women: God hes ugly oommg hees not even ugly hes ooglyy,, why i end up with himm.. god please strike himm kill himm kill heaaaaaaaaaaammm

[THEMIKEGSHOW]

if it gets backed up i got some side streets i like to take

[SifuMcIlwrath]

spot on..

[gur0004]

i like baseball baseball good lmao

[trinixia]

No truer words have been spoken.

[TDgalman]

man this shit is hillarious

[MissNikkiandSarah]

What's in tha tea? WATER, BITCH!!!! :D 

[GamerLad117]

This was funny as hell!!! Now I gotta go, I got alot of not-fucking to do. If I hurry, I can not-fuck all night!

[josh18230]

I like baseball! I like Baseball too! I..HONEY WHO THE FUCK IS THIS???

[SadieMom10]

funniest shit ever lmao

[Quentin8446]

Dis is funny as hell

[breadisballin]

whats in the tea??

WATER BITCH!!!

[dudewtfpasswind]

IF CHRIS TUCKER GOES ON A COMPUTER, HE TYPES LIKE THIS. HE ALWAYS HAS HIS CAPS ON.

[menimEisevoLyrics]

@dudewtfpasswind It's Chris ROCK buddy

[ThirdEyeCrow]

@dudewtfpasswind Why are you talking about Chris Tucker in a Chris Rock video?

[Vanessas1905]

lol wats in the tea?

WATER BITCH

[MsJustSayin]

What's in the tea "WATER BITCH!!" my favorite part lolz, I have it on my ipod

[wickedvahndyl]

"Tell me some of your crackie tales please!"

[tj110296]

''whats in the tea'' WATER BITCH!!

[insdel2004]

I'm single, and I'm far from lonely!

[SovereignStatesman]

@insdel2004

Agreed-- when you're single, loneliness is a choice

when you're married, it's REDUNDANT

[HammerMann16]

Whats in the Tea? Water Bitch LMFAO

[davidp899]

@Lancerlot11 you clearly don't fall in the smart category, since you can't even spell marriage correctly

[stelios2004]

16 people are married and in love

[PurpleCloud619]

When your with the bitch you wish she would quit talkin, but when you're alone she goes from a bitch to a woman that you wish was talkin.

[orton1996]

Whats In The Tea?

"WATER bITXX" XDDD

[alastairwebster1995]

"whats in the" "WATER BITCH"

[art1st818]

The only reason I said I need a gay male friend is bcuz I'm SO SICK of thinking guys R my homiez, just4 them2end up trying2have sex with me! It is SO HURTFUL&DISGUSTING! I go out of my way2try 2dress&act like a guy, & I still have guys that I'll meet & get along with, who'll pretend like they're homiez with me for a while. I'll get emotionally attatched2them bcuz I'll really think they're my friends, like a bro&sis relationship, then1day they're true colors will come out. It's SO SAD,LONELY&EVIL

[art1st818]

Marriage and sex is absolutely uneccesary, because this world is already overpopulated & we're nearing the New World Order, innocent souls do NOT need to be brought into this WICKED WORLD. Having AIR TO BREATH, WATER TO DRINK, FOOD, CLOTHING, & SHELTER is needed, NOT SEX!!! Men, why don't you think FOR ONCE with the head on your shoulders instead of the ones @ the end of your schlongs! I wonder what would happen if all the women in the world went on strike, no more sex? I need a gay male friend!

[SandelTaur]

@art1st81 You need to hang yourself so you can say you did something good against overpopulation. By the way, why did you write this crap here ? It's just a stand up comedy that we'de like to enjoy.

[art1st818]

@SandelTaur Actually, I tried to commit suicide not long ago when I was a minor, I was involved with gangs & exposed to fuced up shit. I would easily give up my life for the better cause because I care about innocence that is still in this messed up world. You can't ever try to judge me dude, my brother was molested by sic men since a baby, he's only a few yrs. older than me, he ended up homo&had a mental breakdown, now he has Aids&on meds. I was also hurt all my life, U haven't gone thru shit!

[SandelTaur]

@art1st818 I'm sorry that you and your brother had such a fucked up life. But in the beginning it was your decision to join the gangs and be part in the mess you were exposed to. Don't bring your pessimism to us because we too are a part of shit, see shit happening but we don't give up like you tried to, we're not twisted like you are. A good advise: Go see a psychiatrist or go to church sometimes it will make you feel better.

[art1st818]

@SandelTaur ONCE AGAIN U don't know what the fuc I chose2do, there R kids born in2gangs N da hood, their parents R high ranking members&have da toddlers throw up da set w/their hands N pics@1 yrs old. Y am I talking2U? Like I said b4, U may think U've gone thru shit, but U haven't. I was in that suicidal phase @ 10 yrs old & a few years after that, I was institutionalized. Ur not sayin shit. If UR scared motherfuca maybe u should go2church like Ice Cube, Lil' Jon & Snoop told U 2 do! M.Y.O.B.

[SandelTaur]

@art1st818 Now I really see that you're fucked up. And "M.Y.O.B." instead writing shit here. "Peace Out"

[BboyDyme]

@art1st818 Men were formed especially just to have sex so that we could create life. If having sex was a choice to us there would be SHIT all be people in the world right now and woman would most likely just use toys to pleasure themselves which would result into less life. You could wonder what would happen but it never will happen. Some woman make a living from having sex and some woman just like it as much as a man.

[art1st818]

@BboyDyme That's an absolute lie, there R men&women on earth alike that feel the same way as me, even though I'm a youngster, I still have wisdom. I know what I'm talking about. I grew up the youngest&only girl of all boys&I loved my brothers more than myself since as far bac as I can remember, since I was just a toddler in the 90's. We were all exposed2alot of messed up stuff, pretty much everything U can think of in horror stories happening to children, LITERALLY! & you'll go2hell 4fornicating

[BboyDyme]

@art1st818 I'm not saying they were formed JUST to have sex. But that is a big part of a mans life. And it's actually the teenage woman that are losing there virginity younger each year. You've got 12 year old girls pregnant. Because they let men have sex with them. They weren't forced to have sex at a younger age it was there choice and they choose to do it without a condom. Then when the baby is born they can't provide it with the essentials it needs.

[art1st818]

@BboyDyme That's so sad, yet it's still not true4evey man. There R still many virgin men that R completely celibate, & will be abstinant all of their lives. This disgusting media tries2make kids think that they have2B promiscuous, like with the movie 'The 40 year old virgin'. I watched my brothers growing up, being turned out, 1 of them addicted2strip clubs&married a stripper&now has children w/her. They were so innocent@once, it kills me! I can only make sure I never become that way.

[BboyDyme]

@art1st818 Yeah it's not true for every man. But for the average man it is. Hell yes i know what you mean about that shit on TV. It's a truly fucked up world revolving around money, sex and power. There's no true love .

[MissPompousTwat]

@BboyDyme

You're not seriously suggesting that if a 12 year old child gets pregnant by a guy older than 16, it's HER fault?

[BboyDyme]

@MissPompousTwat

If it was her decision, But if she was forced then thats just sad.

[MissPompousTwat]

@BboyDyme

A 12 year old is not capable of making decisions like that. That's why it's called statutory rape, genius.

Can't believe you'd blame a 12 year old girl, and not the guy who seduced her.

[BboyDyme]

@MissPompousTwat

You'd be surprised.

[MissPompousTwat]

@BboyDyme

Good luck with being a paedophile, creep!

[MissPompousTwat]

@art1st818

Am I missing something? Is there no contraception in the US? All the people I know have very active sex lives but don't have a single child. Amazing, isn't it? How do we do it????

[art1st818]

@MissPompousTwat THAT'S SO SAD! It's called Fornication, a sin, look it up.

[MissPompousTwat]

@art1st818

First you're complaining about overpopulation, now you're complaining about people NOT having children. Make up your religiously freaked out mind, lady.

[art1st818]

@MissPompousTwat HOW did I complain about people NOT having children. WHY DON'T YOU learn HOW to read. Or better yet, stay out of people's business when they're not talking to you. You look old enought to be my mom, like you're 30ish or something, GET A LIFE WIERDO.

[j0nah131]

15 people were neutered

[EdTyProductions]

15 people watched this video as part of a grown-man play date.

[Megadellter]

"HURRY UP WE GOT SOME NON FUCKING TO DO! IF YOU HURRY UP, WE CAN NOT FUCK ALL NIGHT!"

[Baby1086]

Cracky Tales lol

[Nautilus1972]

Yeah Chris, you have friends that are crack-heads, yeah.

[Nautilus1972]

I love how comics lie through their teeth all the time. You're bored Chris? How many nights a week is Chris Rock sitting at home with his wife y'think? yeh.

[Posmeallie]

Gotta love Chris's style of comedy- brash but honest

His comedy has a vibe of existentialism to it

[MissPompousTwat]

@Posmeallie

Please don't use words you don't understand.

[Posmeallie]

@MissPompousTwat I do know what existentialism means.

[MissPompousTwat]

@Posmeallie

I was talking to myself, sorry.

[IntricationZ]

@MissPompousTwat your name suits you.

[MissPompousTwat]

@IntricationZ

No, I agree with Posmeallie. Chris Rock is like the American version of Josef K. LOL! And if you don't know who that is, you don't know the first thing about existentialism.

[commentor504]

tell us some of yo cracky tails!! LMMFAO 

[BigEm127]

"I hate married people it's fucking disgusting" haha thats funny shit love ya chris

[bisquitmimzy]

Lol, six neutured adults! lol. Married people close down the restaurant, I hate married people! lol

[rockerlover1220]

They leave beacause they have FUCKING TO DO

[1234bboys]

Chris Rock at his Best!!!!!!!!!....

[familyoriginstree]

My wife wanted out of our relationship because she said she was bored. I was like good luck. Now she wants me back. Typical. heh

[erplebane]

i pick bored

[Zero1998y]

chris is Fuckin smart u may not notice cuz of his words But he is !!

[TheShaneshar]

the "Tremendous" amount of Love,..soon turns into a "Tremendous" amount, of Fuck You,...after 12 yrs, the only love anyone is getting, are the Lawyers,....

[Tigasta]

married n bored, or single n lonley

married ppl r fukin discutsin

[saaddotcom]

"you can't drink water if you are watching him"

[jeminni19]

he is sooooooooooooo right! pick your poison fellas!

[aliquippawill]

Marriage is a full-time job, no doubt. Chris hits the ball out of the park with this. My wife & myself have been together for 23 years, and without question, it takes a TREMENDOUS amount of love, mutual respect & commitment to allow the relationship to continue to function properly........not to mention an occasional dose of creative passion to keep things interesting. Temptation to stray will confront you CONTINUOUSLY...........once you say "I DO", simply fasten your "seat-belts" my people!

[SovereignStatesman]

@aliquippawill

Marriage is a LIFE SENTENCE.

Who says single is lonely? You can have your own friends with no bitch nagging you about it, and all the dates and booty-calls you want.

[070911021302]

Funny

[kittycatrat98]

CRACKY TALES :D

[imCopacetic]

cracky tells hahaha

[supersnakegtr]

you gave me crabs,,,,,,,,

[40mbooh]

i bring a crackhead to spicen up da joint..LMMFAO!!!

[crazyaces222]

they start talking to the cook, "Whats in the Tea?"

Water Bitch!

[vfra230185]

This guy is really good man.

[indiag89]

i'm married...and this is pretty true....and i do try to get my husband to be friends with my girl-friends husbands too!!! hahaha play dates!!!

[SoulXsLayer]

MARRIED AND BORED

SINGLE AND LONELY

[MrBc4life]

@SoulXsLayer  choose ur poison XD

[shf58]

I think I'd rather stay lonely. :P

[snoman75]

Diaper Genies suck, get a Diaper Champ.

[rdeguido2]

"I like baseball too" lol

[rdeguido2]

"i like baseball too".........hahahahahahahah

[donkeybrainsify]

chris rock has single handedly made me afraid of marriage, I can't stop worrying about how much truth there is to his claims :P

[Historicutuber]

He's funny as hell man

[eboyd32]

the single crackhead Chris Rock was referring to here was Ol' Dirty Bastard ;)

[espnjason]

I thought of this bit when I saw Prince William and Kate at the altar, as soon as I saw their eyes I knew neither were really in for it.

[makatikobum]

gota go find me a crackah friend now to take to dinner tomorrow...

[TheSlimdog55]

BEST PART 2:03

[supperunknown]

omg my parents are exactly like this with they're friends xD

[creativediscodiva]

I love him soooo much

[tillAttack]

Me and my girlfriend went to dinner with one of my best friend and his wife. we left the restaurant after a pleasent evening to go home and fuck, my friend and his wife stayed until closure. conclusion you may ask? 1. chris rock is absolutely right about married couple and 2. never marry your girlfriend cause you'll start with nonfucking.

[tillAttack]

HURRY UP WE GOT NONFUCKIN TO DO

[RokkDeMilph]

BAHAHAH fknhahhahahah

[Retrodesperado]

Crack-a-Tales!! LMFAO!!! =D

[Aec1127able]

you uploaded this Freddie Mercury's 61st birthday in 2008. Sep.5th :)

[extreme1is1me]

kind of true actully

[ladidadida87]

uhh what's in the tea! Water BITCH! lol

[houndpuppies87]

i think this is amazing.  this is an all timer!

[ChrisRane]

"Diaper Genies" lol... good one

[ImNotYourFriend212]

I was in a relationship with a great woman for three years. After a while, we stopped having sex, she got busier and we just became so boring. I tried to work on things but she was always so busy, so we remained best friends (and still are). Now, I'm single and lonely and kinda wondered if I should've stayed. Lol anyway, no girly stuff on this. This is some funny shit.

[Tsugua21]

@ImNotYourFriend212 Women don't like sex, they just have it to either get pregnant or to get you to marry them.

[ImNotYourFriend212]

@Tsugua21 Oh...guess I'm not a woman then. I enjoy sex, and I am not ready to have a baby nor am I ready to get married. I'm 21...

[SexieAnimeGirl23]

So Thats Why My Brother Is In The Army LOl

[JSherrodll]

Chris is a real king of comedy

[shieldsuma]

@JSherrodll eddie murphy has yet to relinquish that crown. and truthfully he just borrowed it from pryor. it's like saying lebron is really the best when jordan's still wearing that crown.

[IceManLikeGervin]

If you hurry up we can not fuck all night.lol

[Aec1127able]

LOL!!!! He cracks me up like crazy. "Yes I'm married and borded out of my fuckin' mind it's a beautyful thing. If you're in a good relationship chances are you are bord out of your fuckin' mind." LOL!!!!

[MrsGlamour88]

Tell her some of your CRACKY TAILS PLEASE LMFAO

[TasMac90210]

this was one of his best stand ups!!!

[Eminfriends]

fucking hilarious...:)))))

[bangmeister]

hahaha

[BigOrangeTitan]

Did you ever go to dinner with 6 nuetered adults? lol

[nysking187]

HEY!!! You gave me crabs!!!!!!!!!

[angryellow313]

"What's in the tea?"

"WATER, BITCH!"

[yunagirl1597]

@angryellow313 that was like my favorite part

[kint909]

@angryellow313 Double that: What's in the tea? WATER, bitch!

[BURNTFRIESx]

what's the name of the song at the very end, on the credits

[fcentauri8]

@BURNTFRIESx If you are referring to the end of this show on TV the song is "Made You Look" by Nas

[BURNTFRIESx]

@fcentauri8 Thanks, Man!

[Luis2899]

"introduce me to a girl' The married men with their wives in the audience cannot laugh to that joke lol

[Trackrunnerful]

9 people don't like baseball

[blackboy1367002]

@Trackrunnerful that's not a pun. No more than 8 people like baseball

[funeralpyre88]

i like baseball lmao :)

[williamchristy94]

9 people are in a good relationship

[theXdarkXtreeXburns]

come on, tell us some of your cracky tales!

[spadebammbamm]

I LIKE BASEBALL :-D

[elvisjimpa100]

When your singel your free not lonely but i agree with him.He is spot on right.

[Twilightsaga10]

man this is the funny shit right here!!!!

[Khalek19bouyafer]

Thumbs up if comedy central brought you here!