Ralphie May - Prime Cut - 2007 - part 6/6

[loadedjogger]

Thinking about nothing is actually essential. We do this everyday. When the body is at rest, our brains subconsciously get rid of the useless information that we have remembered and keeps the vital information. That's why when you can't remember the punchline to some stupid bar joke, but remember to finish your assignment for a project. Ralphie May isn't just being funny. He's enlightening us. That being said, I think he should know we already have STFU cards. It's called Mastercard.

[colemister12345]

stick ur finger in his hoohaw haha fuckin gay ahhahah

[vcj1326]

Anybody see the couple at 7:10 when the girl was ignoring her guy?

[mrloki12785]

the first knuckle is gay!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DarthKieduss43]

I want Shut the Fuck Up cards.

[CJCA915]

In fact, the male "g-spot" is the prostate... which can only be reached rectally... which is why you sometimes feel pleasure on top of relief, when you take a crap, because as it passes through there, it may rub the inside part of the rectum, and the prostate...

[MB69RatedR]

7:32 xD look at that guy! He's all like "YES! YES! YES! I'm gonna get a bj!"

[Jrocka7x]

"What are you thinking?" LOL

[charay02]

whooooooow im back roflmao

[SnipingBuddyShamrock]

Awesome...

[HyaenusDominae]

11 women went to this show and didn't give their man a gift.

[koamommy]

Wow, friggin retarded ass parents bringing kids that young to ANY kind of comedy show! I dont care if it was Sinbad, he still throws the inuendos in there.

[WookDaDuke]

@koamommy  your one of those women he was talking about ......SHUT THE HELL UP....everyone even the kids enjoying the show but your doing your thinking to much thing and worrying about other peoples kids......WHERE ARE MY CARDS!...........

[TheVirgolovesleo]

Nothing wrong with giving your man a gift. I give my man that gift when he wants it. Why not? He's great to me too!

[bigblakking]

This dude is the shit! Oral is the best

[Wishtodie]

Ralphie is one of those comics that you either love or hate, but either way-HE SPEAKS THE TRUTH-with NO EXCUSES or ALOLOGIES!

[weeweeman1243]

"Women wake up tomarrow and give your man a GIFT." FUCKING PERFECT!!!!

[TheHipster15]

and what did he mean when he said relock the door again?

[TheHipster15]

what was he doing with his arm at 6:05 i dont get it?

[fallenangel2100]

@TheHipster15 "your arms gunna fall asleep faster than you are" hes makin the feelin come back in his arm

[halofan0981]

@TheHipster15 he was tryin to show that he was wakin up his arm

[KahunaSniper88]

@SuperRealdeal45 HAHA BEAT ME TO IT! He is half a homo.

[CrashN2Me1000]

Who needs couples counseling when you've got Ralphie May? It's hilarious, but at the same time, there's some good, solid advice there!

[phxsunsnoh133]

I lose my car in the parking lot all the time.... haha

[greekdeva7]

the guys i know are always talking and i'm a girl i feel like buying a deck of cards SHUT UP LOL

[Funnyfish66]

@greekdeva7 Hell yeah, & I'm a girl & I'd rather some oral over some girf I'd have to return because it's always the wrong size! XD

[LongBeachPits562]

LMAO! I fuckin love Ralphie May dude is awesome. I'm so glad I met his ass in Vegas

[myspiderungoliant]

I'd run out of the Shut the Hell Up cards in under a day.

[Smasho8000]

@myspiderungoliant It's okay. They're reusable. Lol!

[Joebone18974]

shit...i am a guy and my mind runs like he described women's minds... :O

[SuperRealdeal45]

@Joebone18974 Then your half a homo.

[Joeyroza23]

I want sum of those cards

[DarkpaladinEXE]

@Joeyroza23 I think we all do.

[TDKinTOKYO]

NOW THAT is A DAMN GOOD GIFT!

[kz1717]

......that is a good gift

[411319934512]

9 people couldn't SHUT THE HELL UP XD

[13098519]

@411319934512 - No,, 9 people got 2 knuckles

[iJenification]

. . . . I like silence.

[chunkypooh12]

8:22 did u see the kids behind the black guy? WTF are they doing there?

[yeshuahfullofit]

@chunkypooh12 Living in the real world. You have a problem with the real world? At what age is it appropiate to stop lying to children? Do you cringe for the children living among naked tribespeople in the Amazon jungle? They're not your children. Grow up.

[chunkypooh12]

@yeshuahfullofit dude.... wtf.... really

[TheHipster15]

@chunkypooh12 omg they are too young to be there wtf!?

[landesal]

@chunkypooh12 the parents of the year brought them there. good thing u noticed though.

[krazylegs1966]

@chunkypooh12 OMG you're right!! Bad Parents!! Bad Parents!!

[LuciousGlitterLip]

Ralphie ur such a genius!

[ggddbbo]

8:04 guy fucking spazzes

[ewffy1]

nice but too vulgar sometimes

[RiftRaft123]

lmao one of the few funny white comedians

[ggddbbo]

9 men didnt get the gift

[TheAftermathDrummerS]

You verbally just punched me in the face!!

[acdcsrs]

9 people didnt get the gift

[Miralage]

Oh my GOD.

This is funny, but that guy laughing in the crowd ruins it. Most annoying fucking laugh in thew world. Hyu hyu hyu hyu!

[TheComquat]

i bet those 9 dislikes are women hahahah!

[werewolflover14]

why did you do that to me? you verbally just punched me in the face!

[chamblizi]

08:05 = liker he enjoys it lol

[nixville13]

8:05 it looks like she stuck a finger in his whoha lol

[MonstrousManifesto]

LMAO very funny. Where is he though? I remember seeing this on comedy central a long time ago but have not seen him again. Did he die or what? lol

[dwalke26]

8 people got the shut up cards used on them, haha.

[tylercrick8]

i was thinkin about nothing until this video poped up

[xFreshGreg]

i like that guy that keeps spazzin out

[brazilian65]

SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPPPPP

[douchebagcrew9]

I needed shut the hell up cards today! They would make French class a lot easier

[GhostDog65]

7 fags did not enjoy this vid. Sorry just saying! Need to ask the wife to watch this, lol! You see I said ask, not demand! Oh yea got to watch out! LOL>

[trevorninja100]

the shut the hell up! cards are fucking funny as hell!!!!!!!!

[KingAwesome1998]

Man, I hope his wife didn't kill him after that act...

[TheGameLover666]

LOL PAUSE AT 9:12!

[StarMangledAstronaut]

this guys awesome. I heard him on Rogan's podcast. *goes to buy Ralphie May DVDS on Amazon*

[crash25016]

this clip needs to be genetically implanted into every girls brain at birth then remain with them the rest of your life

[moviemaker826]

8:03 Guy needs to calm down!

[LovelyDeath440]

Looks like someone gutted a fish in her back pocket!!!!! LMAO

[Billy060486]

you better get that thing and work that monkey HAHAHAHAHAH

[cleorule]

LOL your arm is gonna be asleep 15 minutes before you bitch LOLOLOLOL

[cleorule]

LOL so funny

[james6953389]

I wonder how many guys actually got that gift??!?!?!?!? lol!

[123Sinista]

@james6953389 Eleven didn't

[moviemaker826]

Those cards should be inserted into the woman. And i think you know where.

[moviemaker826]

7:12 through 8:54 Is exactly why I want to be older!

[fang245]

6 people didnt get there shut the hell up cards

[LovelyYTRocks]

Only up to the first knuckle, nothing gay.

[5033481boy]

girls think bout themselves the future the past never the present and conern themselves with stuff that has absolutly nothing to do with them

men think atleast an hour up into the future and the present and their surroundings they notice alot more things that is going around then women do but they just dont care to say anything until it gets outa hand

[ZombieUnderground69]

6 people didn't recieve gifts

[jonamino]

9:20 Yeah, you wish one!

[jonamino]

Dude, I asked for some shut the hell up cards on Christmas and I didn't get any. I think Santa just got run out of them =o(

[CagePimps]

He looks like a fat Matt Damon

[xReFLeXeRx]

After that just leave! Get the hell out! Lmao

[jennamartinful]

girls.... your mind hates you LOL

[dudemen529]

3:02 - 4:00 best part of the vid

[tommy78247]

the shut the hell up cards needs to be made cuz im tired of hearing certain women talk

[TheBusterBlade123]

i just watched this a min ago

[iKnowWhatImDoing123]

his facial expressions might be funnier than his jokes

[whatwhat98]

im laughing so hard that it looks like i am actually crying!

[maxtomevidenceiv]

where are my cards?... hehahahehe shut the hell up

[garrett210garner]

this guy is so much better than Dane Cook!!

[Wayoutthere100]

He's that best. Neff said

[Lasitli]

"hehehe...shut the hell up!" lol funny man

"I don't listen to you you're disobeying the shut the hell up card"

[Lasitli]

"hehehe...shut the hell up!" lol funny man

[drummer1brt2gzs]

women are superior.....? better to be happy than right

[axlrod05]

iam finding every ralphie may vid and liking it.

[Roushfan5]

I think that I got a womans brain instead. 

[mattsterman2007]

haha shut the hell up lol

[rashia12]

i am going to be rich, hold on i am rich hahahahahahahahha bitch's for the hater

[rashia12]

this guy is fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnn­nnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy­y

[aussie827]

9:19 to 9:22 DOES SHE MOUTH "ILL GIVE YOU ONE?"

there old too ew, also this guy is fucking hilarious!

[avengedownt]

@aussie827 i think its "thats what you want", but yeah it could be either one

[staone1]

@aussie827 seems like she says ima do it watch lol!

[Lindholmer5k]

@aussie827 hahah awesome observation, you can even hear it in the background:D

[AMWJesseJames]

@aussie827 She might have said "is that what you want"

[jonamino]

@aussie827 I think she said "yeah, you wish one!"

[4664justin]

@aussie827 i think she did

[werewolflover14]

can you not just shut the hell up! you do not have to run your mouth all the flippin time! JESUS SHUT UP WOMAN!

[blankskaterforlife]

oh my god fucking hilarious

[elite463]

I hope i get shut the hell up cards for cristmas

[onelastmistake1252]

throw me, ralphie may, my baby, and weed into one pot and you can all it a party.

[skatermason331]

i wonder how many guys actually recieved that gift the next morning

[blackraven495]

@skatermason331 ikr. lmao. lucky for me my guy doesn't get off with oral so i didn't have to. XD

[Pibbmasta]

4 People got "Shut The Hell Up" cards.

[BelRabimMarduk]

I love the gift idea

[MsDenouement]

I pretty much agree, Break. I don't mind people quoting ONE or TWO sentences at a time, not entire paragraphs like I've seen. Geez, what overkiil...

[LiveReligiously]

loooolll

[BreakBeatBlaze]

Stop quoting the fucking video, we just watched it.

[dollfacejojo]

lady at 2:25 is taking off. she was probably like "oh yeah that reminds me i should leave now so i can go try to remember where my car is."

[bigerndawg22]

@smoke5one3

@dodgers6620

Where are my cards god damnit? SHUT THE HELL UP! 1st: Both of you are dumbasses that can't spell, put full/proper sentences together, and your punctuation makes me want to punch a kitten. 2nd: Replying to eachother more than twice is pesky and only suggests that you two don't club, hit bars, and probably can't get any... so pretty much you don't have to worry about much less debate about cheating. Don't bother coming up with a witty retort, you're not on my level. haha

[WTFraggrenade]

your both fucktards...

[frickergrl95]

4 people screwed up & missed the like button.... (:

[ewolfzero2]

actually i always lose my car in the parklot at walmart haha

[InfamousM3dia]

A standing ovation is exactly what he deserves. Now where the hell are my damn cards...

[MrNeverenough]

lol. i love his facial expressions. ahhhhh! you are the creepiest thing in my life.

[prinston131]

i love him hes my how to book he tells me what i need too know about gyes

[prinston131]

were is he from he sounds country

[jonamino]

9:20  Yeah, you wish one!! LOOOL

[TheArsanist88]

@dodgers6620

It's a mixture of things the first is probably selfishness. We could change that but we have to see it's worth it otherwise there is no real love other wise we would put you first.

[smoke5one3]

@dodgers6620 well you ever think about you are most likely rubbing your ass all over another guys dick all night that might be one reason why

[smoke5one3]

@dodgers6620 you dont have to go out with guys to a club/bar you can meet guys while your at the club/bar

[smoke5one3]

@dodgers6620 kinda hard to believe that girls go to clubs just to hang out with their girls an not get on the dance floor with other guys whats the point of even going to the club you can hang out with your "girls" at home or at one of their houses

[smoke5one3]

@dodgers6620 girls lie to much cant believe a word heres an example a mans lie, gets off work does not want to go straight home to hear a bunch of bitching so he drives around an stop at a bar to grab a beer he gets home the wife asks where he was an he says uuuh franks ok now a womans lie, its yours (baby)

[smoke5one3]

@dodgers6620 i never said anything about fucking i'm talkin about dancing which might as well be considerd fucking

[smoke5one3]

@dodgers6620 if a bitch is rubbing her ass all over a dudes dick they are dry humping each other so they might as well be fuckin shit its common sense use your brain

[smoke5one3]

@smoke5one3 oh an somthing els i forgot to add the chances of a guy picking a girl up at a bar at around 3 or 4pm after work is slim to none for one theres most likely only acouple other people at the bar which are most likely other me 2 even if there is a girl there the chances of him picking here up is slim to none because women are too damn stuck up 3 hes most likely to tired an to worried about the woman he has at home. its a hell of alot harder for a man to pick up a woman.......

[smoke5one3]

@dodgers6620 awww what? touched a nerve by tell a woman the truth thats whats wrong with yall you get butt hurt when a man tells you the truth

[smoke5one3]

@dodgers6620 so thats your only come back? all you have is (in a mocking voice) your still a dumbass, guess what no i'm not because everything i said is logical and truth

[smoke5one3]

@dodgers6620 than a woman to get a man a guy has to jump through hoops to get a girl a girl just has to stand there look pretty an they guys come to her

[TheCommentSection]

@smoke5one3

Yeah no shit. My ex got drunk at the club and cheated on me. Luckily I was able to save part of my ego by immediately dumping her. Afterwards she blamed me for not being there to save her from her drunk self, straight up refusing to take responsibility just because of a little alcohol. After all, she was only 'temporarily' a slut. I'm not saying all girls are like that. I'm just saying, you never know.

[smoke5one3]

@TheCommentSection alcohol even makes good girls turn into sluts which its still not an excuse. even when someone is fucked up drunk they can still make decision unless they're on the verge of alcohol poisoning which they'll be to damn sick to be trying to fuck somebody. thats why i like girls that dont really drink an when they do its only to catch a buzz an thats it. good ones are far an few inbetween they are rare

[Konformation07]

Wherez mah cards?

[HollandTeresa]

"OH MY GOD, SHUT THE HELL UP! AHHHHHHH! You are the creepiest thing in my life. GOD, You verbally just punched me in the face." LMAO... EPIC

[Thedarkkatana]

"You need me to relock the door again ?" LMFAO !

[wooloo51]

"what are you thiking about?" my gf txy me that everyday, n i say the same thing everyday...NOTHING!!!! lol XD

[Fassiva]

(at the end).. now thats a gift.. (creepy laugh) thats a DAMN good gift.. You got everything done, theres no converstaion, no cuddling and a day of complete silence...NICE!... (hes awesome...lol)

[szmatyzjebane]

yeaaaa great fucking UL man...KING OF COMEDY no question about it

[lollerabbe]

We get rid of useless information that we don't need to keep, like ure moms birthday LMFAO!

[HDBudd]

VERBALLY PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE!! LMAO

[musketeerinfla]

Cuz you got it like that baby xDDDD and you covered him in enough dna to film 3 episodes of CSI xDDD roflroflroflrfoolflflflfl xddd

[BOBAZDMEG]

Isnt this guy looks and sounds a lil bit like CARTMAN from southpark ? :D

[gamdi07]

I would love to get a gift like that hahahahaha