Van Halen Tattoo Review - The Scorch & Kracker Show

[kyleleon]

Holy shit! When he said The Commodores that made so much sense. Check out the album artwork from The Commodores Movin' On album and A Different Kind Of Truth...ha!

[bukofezra]

I have to agree with these guys...I've heard a few tracks off the album and I am totally not impressed...every song sounds like something I have heard a million times before off old Van Halen albums...except for the Sammy Hagar years.

[phlip5150]

Hey Kracker, now that the new VH album is out I bet you're eating EVERY WORD YOU SAID!!!! Jack ass!!!!!! This is one of the BEST VH albums ever!!!!

[alphasxsignal]

Is it just me or does the guy with the have a funny looking nose. Dam I can't stop looking at it everytime he looks at the camera.

[vl5150]

I just heard the whole album.  Tattoo is soft rock compared to the rest of it. Excellent overall.

[1977BanditTransAM]

no respect...

[The95mustangman]

This is no gimme for which this isn't the best Van Halen ever released! But I'm sorry to inform the Brett Michaels wannabe that, even though the long wait, maybe there has been certain issues with all the band members which resulted in the delay of a new C.D.. This also includes bringing back the front man which has been gone since 1984. As the times change, has it ever come to mind that people do too! (Basically saying being equivelent to a new front man) And by the way, who are you? LMAO

[mapleblackdrums]

I bet the rest of the songs have shut you crackers up! Lol.

I still like your guitar video though.

[darkederkedarke]

If it sounds this horrible on the album.....just wait for that tour....with luck...maybe douche lee will forget ALL THE LYRICS and just do his lounge act shoe shuffle

[asgerms]

First time I saw it I had a good giggle. Second time? "They had BALOONS and all that goin'!"..LMFAO..you guys are way ahead of the audience..hehe... (unless "dislike" has become the hip way to say "like").

[BledsoeBluvd]

Anyone else embarrassed watching this? old men talkin shit, btw the song name is Tattoo not Tattoos and if u had half a brain cell u would know what the lyrics are about* (not aboot)

[krackerthegods]

@BledsoeBluvd : Old men? What you talkin bout Willis? Van Halen could be my Grand Pappy. BTW, I have half a brain cell and Scorch has the oher half. Don't be embarrassed son unless you are bare assed

[alphasxsignal]

@BledsoeBluvd They don't.

[asgerms]

That dog at 6:05 is a legend...lool

[krackerthegods]

@asgerms : I have had Stunner for 10yrs now and he's been with us on most Gods Of Rock tours. Cute little bastard, isn't he?

[PoofDuddy]

You take that back

[jwooley67]

fuck u to the blonde fag. tattoo is bad as hell, and this is the jump of this album. go listen to extreme bitch

[krackerthegods]

@jwooley67 You got the BAD AS HELL part right. It would be best if this song would just JUMP off the album. Thanks for the positive feedback moot.

[HOTLOVELYANGEL]

2 loosers

[krackerthegods]

@HOTLOVELYANGEL : Who? David Lee Roth and Eddie "I cant play guitar anymore" Van Halen. You got that right, 2 losers.

[theyetidude]

awww, I thought this was the Scorch that Opie and Anthony make fun of on their show... the one that Sam used to intern for.

[OriginalSinner]

You guys Krack me up! I love the song, didn't at first but yeah it kinds of grew on me. Like that thing that chic gave me a while back. haha!

David Lee Roth=Van Wailin'=ROCKS!

I give it the ole \m/

[srgeraguitar]

two big losers in the rock, Van Halen is the greatest rock band of all time , get a life idiots!

[dwg116]

I like it!!!!!

[5150pearl]

These guys are funny. I loved Tattoo when I first heard it. 2012 is a great year for Van Halen fans. And I just know that the new CD will have somethin for everyone. Thats what Van Halen has always done. See you at the show:)

[TheDeadhead71]

Just watched the music video. Man oh man. Dave is morphing into what's his face, Steve Martin. Are you sure that's Dave in the video?

[supertenor]

"Tattoo" is OK... but it had better be the worst song on the album.

[supertenor]

LOLLLLLLLLLLL

[roadster81TS]

quit waiting for songs looking like idiots in costumes hahaha and make your own fat fuck lives worth while. oh shit yeah you cant your too busy WAITING for everything to come your way so you can pull out your "oh so" hilarious load of dogshit opinions.

[WBYMAG]

@krazykracka33

Get a life buddy!!!

U are such a waste of sperm

An abortion that went wrong

Fakkkkin loser

[krazykracka33]

@WBYMAG eat a dick twice and die fucktard. your opinion couldnt be less valid if it were queefed out of a mouses vagina

[BassFever74]

there is nothing non-van halen about the new song

[TheLisatunes]

Only the first intro chords sound like down in flames to me.. and sooo what? Its a VH original, so why cant he take a piece of his own original stuff from here or there? Thats how you make music. I doubt the entire album will be like that. As far as the lyrics, they are hitting home with alot people.. best believe that needle hurts you, best to see these true colors than follow some false virtue,last question pause to think why is the crazy stuff we'd never say poetry ink?.. I like it alot

[FrankonKX96]

Yo Scorch, he's probably out trying to pick up a Swap meet Sally with a tramp stamp tatt... ;-}

[FrankonKX96]

Tattoo” is the #1 Hard Rock Single

#1 Most Played song at Classic Rock Radio in its first week

#1 Most Added song at Mainstream and Active Rock Radio

“Tattoo” has been played on more than 160 stations since its release on January 10th.

#1 on Billboard’s Hard Rock Singles chart

#1 Most Played Song at Classic Rock Radio in its first week

#1 Most Added song at Mainstream and Active Rock Radio

That is all...

[scorchriddlin]

@FrankonKX96 Hey FrankonKX96, you are right on.  This is Scorch here. Hopefully Kracker will get the message!

[krackerthegods]

@scorchriddlin : BShizzle, corporate push BS. The industry is maing this happen. I know this because I AM THE INDUSTRY!!!! I get the message and here it is "Tattoo is poop"

[krazykracka33]

you shouldnt have to listen toa song multiple times to "get used to it" in order to lie it just because it is a band you feel some sort of loyalty too. You have to be honest and judge the song on it's own merits. This song is total ass. It is re-hashed garbage the VH felt wasn't worthy of space on a record in 77 and now it is all of a sudden a ningle. They no longer have high standards and they are banking on nostalgia to get by. These boys are coasting on you all. is that rosie odonnel on bass?

[scorchriddlin]

@krazykracka33 What's a ningle? And how do we get one? Thanks, Scorch!

[krazykracka33]

@scorchriddlin ok so you are one of those "typo" clerk fucktards. good for you buddy. Be "that" guy. I really dont see why you wasted the keystrokes though

[krackerthegods]

@krazykracka33 : I agree with you Krazykracka, Scorch is one of those tards and he is that guy!!! You should see him when we are writing songs....what a pain in the ass. Give'em shit.

[TheLisatunes]

@krazykracka33 i remember back in HS, my friends would be soo excited about a new song, and they would play it, and more often than not it did take a few listens to get all of the lyrics, the originality, the riffs, the background vocals, into your head, most songs, actually are like that, at least thats how I roll, and apparently so do alot of others

[revdraco]

@krazykracka33 Let me guess. You wanted to be in a band, but have no talent - so you're mad.

Nothing to "get used to," the song kicks ass. . . it does take a modicum of brainjuice to figure it out, though.

[TheFlave66]

@krazykracka33 I agree. I love these guys but this is terrible. The video looks like it was recorded on a kids phone. Its safe,boring run of the mill rock. Oh how the mighty have fallen... Tragic.

.

[vl5150]

It took a few listens for me to get used to it, but it fits into the VH catalog to my ear.

[scorchriddlin]

@vl5150 I agree, but try to get through to Kracker.....he won't even listen to it again....

[krazykracka33]

I fully agree. Thi s single is total shit

[scorchriddlin]

@krazykracka33 whats with your name...are you in support of Kracker or Scorch....this is Scorch by the way!

[krazykracka33]

@scorchriddlin lol whats your email address I have an awesome photoshop I did that fully expresses my point of view! This song is total garbage

[krazykracka33]

@scorchriddlin I support krackers opinion of this ass hattery 100%

[jwooley67]

@krazykracka33 ill whup anybodys ass that dont like this song. maybe nicklecracks metal to yall gay bitches



[dkterra1]

Couple of Pollock Canadians! The blonde one looks and sounds like a more dried up Brett Michaels then the real Brett Micheals.....

[incubus866]

0% rock

[scottkennard40]

This is like watching Chicago Bears fans that are still living back in the '80s. Da Bears!

At least one of these guys has a clue.

[phillandjimmy]

songs wasnt worth waiting for :(

[WBYMAG]

@crackermouth

What comes to mind is how much you resemble spam haggis

Come to think of it you're rotund just like him, and no diet in the world is gonna help you lose weight.....so stick to your fast food diet, drink tequila and frequently visit the bar that is owned by your "idol" and jump

On stage and sing with him

Buwahahahahahahahahaha

I am sure that in California there are a multitude of cliffs U can JUMP off of and enuff bullets to put in your noggin' LOL

all kidding aside though

Just s

[CaribbeanLounger]

Much like the women that you pay to sleep with you... your shtick was boring and the cure for insomnia. Nice wigs.

[TheHeetmizer]

Way to hit the Nail on the Head gents!! We expect much more from a single we've been waiting a few decades to hear.

[WBYMAG]

Hey blondie lose some weight

Then maybe you can do the Roth moves

U my friend are too funny

Remember 1984.....Jump.....oh man we all complained ......but fakkkkk the rest of the album just SMOKED!! One of the best albums of all time

Bullet head, need I say more!?

[krackerthegods]

@WBYMAG : I have recently started the Weight Watchers and Scorchy's on The Craig. Even still I can karate kick like Daniel son and dance like Fred Astaire. Thanks for your support. Remembering 1984,f I hear Tattoo again I may JUMP off a cliff or pu a BULLET IN MY HEAD. Till next time.

[cleolicious]

Finally, someone speaks the truth! The new VH song sucks giant hairy moose cock dipped in elephant cum!

[CaribbeanLounger]

@cleolicious Do you speak from experience fucktard?

[krackerthegods]

@CaribbeanLounger : Which experience? The women I pay or insomnia? For insomnia a nice melatonin and a green tea blend should help you sleep and women are everywhere, just open your wallet cheapo. You wish you had hair like us. Eat more gelatin to stimulate hair growth ya bald bastard.

[scorchriddlin]

@CaribbeanLounger Easy with the language. Do you want to end up like Kracker? I don't care if you pay for girls or whatever business you have with your baldness. This is about Van Halen. Rock on my Caribbean brother!!!

[CaribbeanLounger]

@scorchriddlin Thanks... I didn't know that your channel was for librarian's. Of course then again -- if it was, it would actually have some humor to it.

[cleolicious]

@CaribbeanLounger Yes, I watched your mom do it last night! Apparently she has more talent than Scam Halen these days.

[CaribbeanLounger]

@cleolicious Wow. Mom jokes? Really?! Do your parents know that you're on the internet?

[Lilybro2806]

Love it and you guys speak the truth!! Plus VH is having Kool and the Gang as an opening act??

[USxGraboidxMC]

This song is actualy saying tattoos are bad. Here are some lyrics.

"TrampStamp"

"So I dont Buy your graphic"

"That needle will hurt you"

"Why does things we never say always have to be written in ink" I agree with Van Halen on this lol.

[scorchriddlin]

@USxGraboidxMC You hit the nail on the head. Now Kracker has to be shown your wisdom...lol



[MrTommykazi]

I love van halen and was so excuted to hear this song....but oh my god I feel embarrassed for them...all I keep visualizing is mr.rourke's midget...tattoo tattoo, zee plane! zee plane!

[scorchriddlin]

@MrTommykazi I hear you bro. Did you know why they called Tattoo Tattoo? He actually had his body filled with tattoos, look it up on the google machine! Im serious.

[Hunkola]

Kracker needs to put his piggy face in the sweet spot of a Diamond Roth reverse helicopter spin kick ---- knock some teeth down his throat ---- might teach him some manners and he'll stop disrespectin' the mighty VH ---- Dave owns his lardy ass!

[scorchriddlin]

@Hunkola Kracker has enough problems right now...trust me. Please extend a peace offeriing!

[Hunkola]

@scorchriddlin ---- I've seen diehard Sammy Hagar fans benefit greatly from being bitch-smacked by a Diamond Dave spin kick to the face.....they suddenly burn all the Van Hagar CDs and start crankin' "Aint Talkin Bout Love"......I think Kracker needs this spin-kick to the face to wake him up!

[thozgyz]

That was great guys!

[scorchriddlin]

@thozgyz Thanks for watching!



[jgsrhythm1]

@scorchriddlin

Dave is not going to replicate what he did 30 years ago. He would look foolish trying. I think the song is great. They kept it simple which was smart.

[notfarc1]

@scorchriddlin too fuckin funny

[notfarc1]

@scorchriddlin wanna buy my lou ky tickets 200.00 each

[vandaahl1965]

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha, you guys rule!!!

[scorchriddlin]

@vandaahl1965 Whats so funny? Why is everybody laughing at us?

[vandaahl1965]

@scorchriddlin you serious? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



[SuperMaiden6]

The Commodores album cover joke totally killed me. It's so true! What is up with that,

eh?

[scorchriddlin]

@SuperMaiden6 Im gonna have to pick up that Commodores album as it might have some New VH on it!!!

[ebayisajoke]

@scorchriddlin lol

[ebayisajoke]

@ebayisajoke They gave a clue by showing the Commodore's album, I think a few of the songs on the new VH may be a remake of the some of their songs actually. Kinda like they did with Women and Children first album where Dave wanted to do the remakes but Ed and Al didn't.

[mossmikem7]

He is jealous,they will be sold out everynight!

[krackerthegods]

@mossmikem7 : I'm not jealous...you are

[OzzyVanHalen]

The guy in the cowboy hat needs to realize that they are in their late 50's and not early 20's anymore! I think that this song is great. The only reason why people are bashing it is because they expect too much from VH. They expected it to sound like something off of 1984 or Van Halens debut album which won't happen. I seriously am getting sick of people bashing this song and VH. Give VH a break!

[scorchriddlin]

@OzzyVanHalen Scorch here, I agree 1000 percent! I like the song, and who knows what the rest of the album holds. Imagine if they would have put out Jump now? They would have been killed...who knows? Kracker is the guy in cowboy hat.... he gets pretty passionate about important things like this. Can you get Van Halen to release their album early? I have to live with him (in a get in the van and go on tour kinda way).

[johnnybeane]

VH actually released 2 songs with Roth in 1996 - "Can't get this stuff no more" & "Me wise magic" but "A different kind of truth" will be the first full album with Roth since 1983's "1984".

I like the song a lot.

I got it the day before it came out and have heard it 100 times since.

Was always a fan of "Down in flames" and am glad they used some of the music on this song.

[scorchriddlin]

@johnnybeane Thanks for the info, I will tell Kracker to listen to it some more. He tends to make rash decisions....but he's pretty firm on this one. Thanks for the post.

[SuperMaiden6]

You guys are TOO funny! I love the humor. Makes me very proud to be Canadian. Tattoo is a great song. It's got feel and flavor! You guys rock! \m/

[scorchriddlin]

@SuperMaiden6 Funny how? What is all this funny business?

[ApeLikeCreature]

Tattoo is a better song than both "I'll Wait," and "Jump" IMO. But those two songs from 1984 really round off the album. I like the new song, but I hope it's more of a fun, lighthearted tune and we're going to get some real new rockers.

[scorchriddlin]

@ApeLikeCreature Better than Jump? For real?  Have you heard the guitar tone and solo in I'll Wait? I'll wait back for your answer.

[ApeLikeCreature]

@scorchriddlin I'm not talking about the tone, the mix production or even the solo. I'm talking about the melody and song structure. When "Jump" was released, I didn't love it. I'm not a big fan of keyboards in a Van Halen song. After I bought the album, and I remember that day like it was yesterday, it blew me away. It was their most sophisticated album IMO (I prefer Fair Warning though) because of the use of keyboards of some songs, even though I prefer the guitar-only songs.

[ApeLikeCreature]

@ApeLikeCreature As far as I'll wait. Great production, fantastic tone, but the song??? Imagine that song being the first single off this new album? People would be saying it's not hard-rocking enough, and I would agree.

[scorchriddlin]

@ApeLikeCreature Scorch here, lets wait and see what the rest of the album is like. Im trying to get it through Kracker's very thick skull that when they released Jump (like you state) they had a slew of killer tracks waiting in the shadows. Kracker's emotions get the best and worst of him. I think it's because Kracker secretly wants to be David Lee. Im no Dr. but I think that's where the anger stems from.

[krackerthegods]

@scorchriddlin I apologize for the anger, I am working through some things but this single freak'n blows.

[bugebug]

Tattoo blows.

[scorchriddlin]

@bugebug Is this THE Bug? Hope all is well. Kracker hates it (not sure if you can tell from the video). I like it but hope the rest of the album is better!

[TheFatbulldog50]

Dudes you are so funny and true!

[scorchriddlin]

@TheFatbulldog50 Funny how? Do we look funny?

[Mosconi526]

I love the new song!!! BUT.. I agree it probably wasn't the best choice for a NEW Single.. lol.. BUT have you all heard "She's the Woman"????? Its really awesome!!! I'll bet there will be at least 4 or 5 other GREAT GREAT songs on the album that once we hear them people will all say the same thing.. "Why didn't they use THIS song or THAT song as the single instead of Tattoo!!??" :) Thanks for posting this review though guys!!! Very funnY!!

[scorchriddlin]

@Mosconi526 Hey Mosconi! She's The Woman was also from 1977!!! Can't wait to hear the recorded version.

Thanks for the post. Keep Rockin!!! Horns up brother!