Issues and Miss-yous and Tissues.

[CrookedAngle]

I know EXACTLY how yo feel.

I'm always afraid of my mom seeing me.

I'm afraid of my boyfriend seeing me (LDR I havent seen him since November)

This struggle sometimes seems endless.

Be strong! We all must be.

[shutupicanhearu]

Ps. Your not fat. Your hot. As a dick thing to say "I'd hit it" lol

[shutupicanhearu]

Ohh Shan. I love all of your videos, I try to watch as many as i can. If your so worried just make small changes. People say exercise and all that but just start small. Cut one meal a day and then in a couple weeks Cut two meals a day or just start walking once a week then twice a week then jog you know. But no matter what. If your happy. Your happy noone should justify your character on what you look like. Just be happy. Your happy now. So it shouldn't matter what you look like.

[kelimacumholla]

i always think about if or when i lose all this weight am i still gonna be me?? am i gonna change? cause i like the person i am now but people tend to change after having lost a bunch of weight & its scary

[Sarahon06]

So long as you never lose the wonderful person you are, I'll be happy to know you and proud to call you friend. *hugs*

[aipyor]

you are a very pretty and sweet girl. it takes a lot to put yourself out here like this & i applaud you. it's so cliche, but like most things in life, weight loss is mostly about attitude. you have told yourself that oh"this is who i am" like you don't have a choice in the matter, but you can change your destiny tonight if you wanted. i don't mean to preach at all but i am in exactly your boat. you must be selfish and do it for you now.most of all accept that it takes lots of time& discipline.

[themisspeta]

Oh hun, Its like you are speaking from inside my brain.

Im 26, And have been really overweight all my life, I lost alot of weight when I was 17, But as we tend to do, I piled it back on, and doubled my weight in 5 years.

Now Ive hit 26, And over the last 2 years, I have struggled with the same issues. I need to clear my issues mentally before I even begin to lose the weight. Because I was still going to be depressed. But I have come really far in the last year. SO there is hope. good luck xxx.

[unseenstrings]

I'm retired in my 60s but I have a sister who is in her early 30s and who is overweight. I would refer to her as "healthy" as some people do when talking about individuals who are fat. But I'm sure the doctor she works for would quickly advise me that her fatness is not healthy. The other day I happen to speak with her husband and I asked how sis was doing. (Now note he is quite thin.) He looked at me sternly and said, "She's getting bigger." I'm sorry but his wide-eyed seriousness made me laugh

[unseenstrings]

Now, as a person who tries hard to be scientific about all aspects of the individual, which includes the individual's attitudes and opinions (after all the brain is physical and so are the brain's processes), I likewise try very hard not to be prejudiced or judgmental regarding any individual. In other words, I look beyond the supposed freedom and dignity of the individual in order to try to find the causal factors that could have them behaving in socially unacceptable ways, i.e., overeating.

[unseenstrings]

Accept the fact that you did not make the mindset that you now possess. The intense desire you feel to eat is not something you created for yourself. And others do not feel the intensity of hunger you feel. If they did, they would eat as much as you. I don't engage in homosexual activity simply due to the fact that the idea is repugnant to me--not because I have more moral integrity than the homo. If I felt a desire for men.... Forgive yourself. Love yourself regardless of the pressure of peers.

[SKA92bitch]

I support you, and whether you lose that weight or not you are still a wonderful incredibly lady =) Just remember that!

[breeismaname]

I think you're wonderful just as you are. If you do lose the weight, I think that you'll still be wonderful. But I understand all too well what you're feeling (I need to lose at least 50-60 pounds, but I just seem to keep gaining). Anyway, I love all your videos, and I don't think you should change anything at all about yourself that you don't want to. <3

[QuestionsRtheAnswer]

We're never who we were. We're who we are. All anyone can really do is try to be happy with where they are in life right now and attempt to make sound judgements about what will make them happy in the future. :)

[myobsession243]

Kay so listen!!

I'm a 15 year old sophomore, and I'm 217 pounds. I'm fat, but if I change, I think that I will loose what i am because I've been this way for so long. It's who I am, and people love me for it. But I'm young. If I really wanted to change, don't you think I would have already? Highschool is so brutal. People are SOMEAN. People ask me when my baby is due. And sometimes I think it's not worth it. But the fact is, is I am me. And so are the extra pounds. I love myself. I love you. (:

[DuckieShrines]

I know it's hard to deal with the assholes, but you need to keep going and focus on your goals, your life. They are just looking to bring you down because they're insecure, you know that. And your dad has no right to talk about YOUR body like that. We come in all shapes and sizes, but we all share the same heartbeat, and we are ALL beautiful. You are in charge of you, you need to ignore what other people think. You love all those things, you need to love yourself! :)

[DuckieShrines]

You are beautiful.

[arimethia]

Most parents say the things they do because they care for you and they don't know any other way to say it. Parents can be totally hurtful, but most parents don't mean or want to deliberately hurt their children by the things they say. Sometimes they're just clueless. Know that you are beautiful and loved and that's the most important thing.

[Walabio]

I cannot speak for others, but i love you for you. Do not listen to what the others say. Your father should love you unconditionally. If massgain causes healthproblems, I am certain that you will get it under control. I believe in you.

[55ella2007k]

This society is conditioned towards superficial values...so that it is becoming dysfunctional overall. A society, where most young people are actually nothing more than corporate drones, based on the imagines in magazines and the advertising industry. Ignore the haters on YT.

[perfectlypurple]

I feel the same way! I know it's so hard for you to say it, but I feel like you're saying things right out of my own head, it's so crazy..

[partayolay]

i find beauty in you :)

[13Umbrellas]

♥

[FantasticBabblings]

I know what you mean. I go through a lot of the same things. Weight is one of the least understood, most stigmatized things in the world. It is complex and physical and emotional. As others have mentioned good health is far more important than body image. And stress and shame and all the rest of that nest of feelings is not healthy.

[KasparHauser4]

Maybe you should tell your father in a phone call before. You go to see him.

[KadajxRemnant]

I think all of us have a struggle like this. That one thing we know needs to change, and how to change, but we just can't do it. I wish you the best of luck. <3

[designbyolia]

You are amazing.

That is all

[psychomichael]

I think you're amazing and gorgeous just the way you are...it would be a shame to change just to suit society's myopic view of the world.

[jasmijnelgersma]

Beautifull video! (Their always great, but this one's exceptionally honest <3)

You say, you love everything around you, but do you love yourself? You didn't mention that.

Could it be your weight is a shield for the world not to see you, not to love you... Just a thought you had when I was watching, it's recognizable. We all love you!

Good luck with everything, especially your father!

[Marlene227]

Pink....There are many many many of us who are 100 lbs over weight.

Just tell your Dad it is not your turn yet....

You bring so much joy to so many!!!!!!

We have gotten accustom to your face....

[thephysicwerewolf]

well as long as your healthy, Don't try to change yourself, you beautiful person

[amandamariefisher]

"i dont want to loose all that weight, and turn into something im not"-- i SOO know what you mean, hun.

[vikidobe]

Hey Shan! I think that being fat (and eating) is protection to ease people through uncomfortable situations. Think of it like: someone putting a blanket over their shoulders, to kind of shelter them from stress. In my humble opinion if someone needs this 'protection' then they should not beat up on themselves for protecting themselves. You are a wonderful, talented person. Don't go after the outside symptom. Go after the inside cause. Shan is that ok for me to say that to you?

[americanfreakcb]

Dude, this video really hit home for me. i've been having a lot of issues w/ my weight, it wasn't until recently that it has really started to bother me.

Its like, i know i'm fat, i've been fat my whole life. And i know i eat to relieve stress. I've never really felt i have a problem w/ my weight, i love the person i am and would never want to change that. The hardest part is the people in this world who have a problem w/ that.

[pdhwiayf]

hey hun lissen..so what if your a lil ova weight your beautiful inside and out and you can be whatever you want to be..do whatever makes you happy..and if you do see ur dad again..remember that if your happy inside yourself you don't need his aprovel of that

[TheraminTrees]

'I hope that you guys find beauty in everything you do'

— I just found it in this video — in your tremendous honesty in looking at all this difficult stuff coming up for you right now. You are a remarkable individual, and I know that whatever answers you find, they will be YOUR answers, not someone else's — and they'll be all the better for it. HUGS ;8)

[tyrbolo]

Trapped inside with your worst critic is the

human condition. You'll be fine if you let yourself

have room to make the changes you want.

[Maiyanna]

I can relate, totally.

[Quisitali]

I love you, every Beautiful, Honest, and profound inch!! Honey I support you, every step of the way...ya heard dat?

Peace love and light my AZ girl! and I feel ya

xoxox

Q

[Vamplis]

I hear you!

It is so paralyzing Shan, but guess what,

It's paralyzing because your absorbing their negativity.

I'm can't type this all I think I'll just link my own video response to Gretchen :)

Take care

[quasimojo8]

You rock Shan. Since the moment I have subscribed to you I knew I would not regret it. And you never dissapoint :)

As for the weight, I only know the basics about your situation. But it seems like you're not happy with yourself. I think you'll feel a lot happier and a lot healthier if you lose the weight. But if that's not the way it turns out, well....Then you get to have fun gorging u lucky :). Hope it works out for you

[iRawk360]

I love how your so sincere about everything, everything you say has emotion, and a lot of it. Don't beat yourself up about it whats going on now, because it will get better. If you want to lose your weight, just stick to a plan and you'll instantly see success and you'll feel better and better.

We all love you!

[DavidRandallCurtis]

This is probably the most totally WRONG thing to write in the comments... but frak it... YOU are one of the sexiest women I've ever seen on youtube.... that said, your content is always great.... but you are a VIXEN that could have her way with me if I'd ever be so lucky! :P

[jdf088]

I am in complete agreement with you David.

[Numbuh128]

You are one of the most beautiful, elegant women I've ever seen in my life, and therefore you will continue to be beautiful no matter what. You have no reason to have low self-esteem. At all. You're an amazing person, and all your videos are proof of that. Don't despair; you're gorgeous.

[veridian4]

Shan, I love you, and I love your videos. You are a beautiful person, inside and out.

[hychi1800]

0:13 looks creepy

[DemonWarriorSamuel]

Well lots of love to you Shan... it's quite a sad story, but I know you can do it... don't loose sight of your goal... if you wanna be skinny then you have my support!

[DannaS22]

silly girl, you are a beauty. i know a bunch of skinny chicks whose faces are mashed potatoes comparing to your angelic one. and with such a bright personality, i envy the once who can call themselves your friends, there are never enough people so radiant, honest and sweet as yourself.

you'll solve whatever bothers you one day. may it be your only trouble in life :)

love <3

[ThroughMyEyes93]

honey i cant imagine anyone who wouldnt think you are beautiful! your amazing!!!

[JGIRL2296]

Shan,

You are beautiful, and your body is your body. Your dad should except you for who you are. do what you want to do and not what your father wants you to do. Good luck, and don't call yourself fat because you are not1 You are beautiful, and you have so many fans who lookup too you, so don't be down about this!!!! You are amazing!

Love

Julzzz

[siriuslyconfused1]

I know what you meen Shan. You're wonderfull, and I love you and your videos. It's such a shame how many people have body issues, *sigh* don't let it get you down, you'll be just as amazing at any weight.

[bubblegumbabe21]

shan youre a beautiful person and youre still the same on the inside... thats all that counts and your family should be supportive of that... youre right we all have body issues, but i think if we just accept ourselves for who we are instead of tryin to be someone else it would make the world a better place... and those people only criticize because they feel bad about themselves

[Justinfhtube]

I have assholes in my family. :(

[ExplorationB]

Shan you know I love you more than anything.

Visually different - who gives a crap? When I visit Australia, my family are going to notice the grey hair I have obtained and the new wrinkles around my eyes.

But after a few hours they will begin to notice the self confidence that I have obtained and the maturity I have grown. Give your family the trust that they will love and be proud of you for what you have achieved- the amazing woman that inspires thousands of the youtube community!

[StrangeGlobal]

" No one can make you feel inferior without your permission." --Eleanor Roosevelt

She was a smart woman. Take it to heart.

Lots of love and support your way m'lady!

[thinkmorepink]

I love you, girl. Thank you so much.

[MirandaTheOnlyPanda]

I do understand how you feel (for the most part)

[handplanty]

I actually thought you were kinda pretty :) Don't think that's your major concern though. Heads up, there are more important things out there to worry about, like having the kind of spirit and intelligence to be able to make the videos that you have so far, keep it up!

[punkXkiitie]

I have stuff to say about this video to you, but the box is too short to allow me to say it all so im going to leave it in a message. if you read it, great, if you dont, eh just know that I understand and you have a lot of people here for you Shan!!

*hugs* x trillion

[PerthPete1]

Hi Shannon,

The bravery you have shown, by talking about this issue, means that I am confident that you will find the strength to be person you want to be.

Hugs,

Peter.

[QualiaSoup]

People are often quick to offer advice rather than a listening ear, to 'judge' or 'solve the problems' of other people's simple being-in-the-world.

I've received the advice / judgments myself. When they come with no curiosity about how I'm actually feeling, I know immediately they're to do with the other person, not me.

Shan, you've confronted life experiences that would defeat others with courage, integrity, humour and *style*. You're a winner. This is just a simple fact we know about you.

[abbynormal0ne]

Losing weight is scary because you know you'll have to change your life style, food habits, and movement habits. When I lost my weight, I thought I was going to alienate people because I ate differently from them or went to the gym.

If you truly want to lose the weight, do it for yourself and disregard what other people say. You'll be able to stay happy with yourself, your life, and your situation. Find what makes you happy and healthy. I know you have the strength.

Much love to you.

[TheOtherSide100]

You'll be the same great you, no matter what you weigh.

I'm 80 pounds over. Keep losing 20, then going back up. Gets tougher with age.

When I was 50 pounds lighter, the other guys in my old band always made fat jokes.

I'm the same guy I was when I was thinner; just look different. That's how I know you'll be you, no matter what.

You have lots of friends to lean on. Always remember that.

[onlywhenprovoked]

If only I could show you the way I see you, you'd never feel insecure again. Much love and respect, my friend.

[healthyaddict]

::: hugs :::

[ProjectLifesize]

I love you Shan. much much much.

Gretch

[8journey8]

If a person got to choose their assets at a very early age, most immature pre-teens would want thick hair or anorexic thinness, because of the way culture insists these are important things. When people mature, they realize that having a competent brain and creative talent is vastly better. You are a poet, a thinker, a lover of beauty. And you ARE pretty to look at...lovely eyes, fine skin. You have it all. You're a *pet* of the brainy crowd...the trolls are petulant children who don't get It.

[jakluk4]

*hugs ya tightly*

[2bsirius]

I think being on YouTube means that you are going to have eyeballs on you. IF YOU JUST WANT TO BE YOU AND TALK ABOUT STUFF YOU CARE ABOUT IT'S REALLY, REALLY HARD because it's usually about exteriors only here.

My dad was always hyper-critical of me, but I loved him, so I wanted to please him. I couldn't just tune him out. So it's not for me to say - BUT U R a wonderful, beautiful person and I'm sure he knows that, even if he might fall into criticism! He won't mean it, so try to tune it out

[BENY0HAMA]

I almost never go to youtube anymore, and almost never watch videos any more. You should feel special that I felt compelled to watch yours, because you're just an amazing person. I don't care about your weight. You have an amazing personality, and frankly, you're really attractive even with the weight. I'm no chubby chaser, but you're attractive.

I wanted to write you on facebook, I keep putting it off. I think I'll do that after I sleep.

*hugs*

[itsbizbuz]

Big hug, I hope you will see your father.

[angryislander56]

I hear ya!

Old and fat results in a more or less constant

harassment from the white coat crowd.

Interesting how there can be a complete disconnect

between how we feel and the supposed

manifestation of *issues* in our fat! I too am happier

than I have ever been. I honestly think it has more to do with the food industry than we

realize. A corporate conspiracy dang it!

[KyoraMishiso]

*Hugs tight* Shannon, you're an interesting and wonderful person, and fuck your weight and fuck what everyone says about it. You're cool BECAUSE you're you! Not because your weight.

Keep your chin up, darling. We all love you.

[ValeneShay]

Facing yourself is never easy. We could all stand to have a few more honest conversations with ourselves and the people around us.

[M0THERKN0WSBEST]

You will still be you, whether you take of a hundred pounds or put another hundred on.

And what I see is a lovely human being with a pretty face and a cute smile.

( I wish I had a smile something like that!, on the rare occasion that I do, I look like a mental patient who is about to eat some bodies baby, or so I have been told! )

Do what you do for you ... there is about as many assholes out there as there are ... assholes! ... Not sure I quite put that right!? but anyhow, you take care! : )

[killath303]

You dont want critisicm or advice but sometimes you just need it. And theres nothing wrong with that, and theres nothing wrong with you. My advice, take it or leave it, is be happy. With yourself, whoever you are physically or whatever. Anyone who doesnt like you, can, mind language, fuck right off to where they came.

Dont listen to anyone who mocks you.

[cavejourney]

You are so smart and sweet and funny and kind and pretty and self reliant and strong . I'm an old guy and if I had a daughter I'd want her to be just like you.

[tiggeromega]

I am at a loss for words. I actually started to tear up at the end. Very powerful video. *****

[godonlyknows1101]

Fat or skinny, you're a beautiful person. And thats what really counts.

Plus, you're rather pretty. When you smile. :)

[jermainehargrove]

Shan...

I wish you could know how much of an inspiration your vids have been in my life. If you lose weight or gain another 100 you'll still be you inside. I am honestly too afraid to try dieting or trying to "get healthy" and your vid made me realize why. I am afraid that if I try that I'll fail, and then feel worse about who I am, or that if I succeeded it would only be temporary... My fear had paralyzed me, but I've learned to love me because of your vids. I wish you Luck, and Love Shan :)

[fluffumsmeow]

We can all always say we'd look better if we did this or that but honestly you already look good! Plus you've got such an amazing, inspiring outlook on life whats not to love about you?!? Stay strong, you've always got people to support you no matter what ^-^

[0BALLINN0]

I mean everyone not thing xD

[0BALLINN0]

Im glad to see you discussing this issue of body image its a big problem in this whole world and Im sure that almost everything has felt insecure about their body in some way. Especially me, almost every1 I meet tells me you are too skinny go eat a burger dam ppl dont understand like we do. I understand why you feel a bit reluctant to change your image bcuz that is what helped made u the beautiful person u are inside but as long as u are healthy there is no reason to be trying to change urself

[andrewrberkshire]

I know exactly how you feel, although girls get much harsher reactions on the internet as well as in person. You still look cute as a button to me!

[Mephistophilus]

Shaun, you're subjectively beautiful to me especially your mind and talent. I'm not kissing your ass, I'm telling you how I feel. If you decide to lose weight, please do it for yourself, not for assholes. You're a strong woman, I'll skip the advice for your dad unless you decide you want it. Your tears are killing me. Yes, I've felt like that many times about different topics. Love you too and I hope, a word I rarely use, that , to quote GTF, "May your ups and downs always be ups."

[Mephistophilus]

crap. Shan...where did the u come from?

[SaintPlazma]

I think no matter who we are we all have body issues, overcoming... accepting them is the hard part. I really dont think(based off of your videos) that who your are is timeless and want change because the packaging is different.

[poweredxbyxhope]

You're a lovely and beautiful person, and that is never going to change.

We need you to be around a looong time so that you can keep bringing happiness to our lives!

[BenZems]

wow, this has totally changed the way i view a lot of things in the world. im 18 years old , i live alone, no significant other, no true friends to lean on , no close family im happy to view your videos , ..you ARE a REAL person, youre beautiful, intelligent, touching and inspiring. thank you so much Shan...i dont feel so alone anymore.

[OutMendham]

You are so not alone in feeling the way you do. Hugs.

[featherdude]

Your father may be happy & proud of his weight loss. Hopefull you can share that with him. But that is his thing & you do yours- wherever that may take you. You are a personal hero to me and many others too, I am sure. If you become "model" thin or not is unimportant as long as you are still the same incredible you that I admire.

[sopranocat]

"does anybody else feel like that?"

*raises hand*

we need to have a heart to heart about this.

[thinkmorepink]

YES.

[HeadoftheHydra]

Sometimes it is less about "conforming to societies standards of beauty" and more about "not dying at 40". ;)

Losing weight is easy peasy under certain circumstances. I once lost 40 pounds by ceasing all soda drinking. I mean, what the fuck? How easy was that?

*hands Shan a whey protein shake*

It's chocolate! With Stevia!

Work out like me! It totally sucks! :D You wouldn't believe how badly my muscles hurt right now. Unless you've been hit by a truck recently.

*shrug* Be you. :P

[thinkmorepink]

Thank you. :)

[AndSoShePaints]

For what it's worth (and I know it's not likely much, since you don't know me, and I don't *really* know you, beyond what you show us in your videos) I think you're beautiful. I think you are beautiful, & funny, & adorable, & witty, & smart... and I think you're awesome.

(Man, that's a lot of commas... I suck at sentence structure, apparently. lol)

I am presently at the heaviest I have ever been, but I am also the happiest I've ever been. I don't think I'd ever trade one for the other.

[thinkmorepink]

I can also agree with you. When I was thinner, I was no where near as happy as I am now. This is one reason I'm terrified to lose the weight. Thank you so much. SO much.

[DragonMage]

I understand where you are. It's hard to convince yourself to make a change, but loosing weight will not change who you are or your opinion on things. It only changes your lifespan (I hate that word) your health, and the way you look. Your still going to be the awesome person you are now, just lighter.

[DragonMage]

Something I started doing that has been working is just going for a walk every day for 30 minutes with my iPod. I'm not changing what I eat, but instead the amount of what I eat and drink. And I'm doing it slowly. I don't know if you would want to try something like that, but it's working for me. Regardless if you decide to lose weight or stay the same, you'll still be the awesome you tuber that i enjoy listening to. I don't believe I am the only one that thinks that.

[Vensent93]

Hey shan just wanted to let u know i love u :P even though we dont "know" each other and all that jazz but yea i do.. im about 100 lbs over weight myself and im gay my dad is over in iraq and we made this lil pact about losing weight while he was gone if anything ive gained and its just hard i understand we're your coming from and just remember you're loved :) <3 <3 <3

[Antichryst666]

I think you are beautiful. I don't understand the rapture of trying to conform to community standards of beauty. You get to decide what makes you happy, and I sincerely hope you reach whatever you define that to be. Good luck.

[thinkmorepink]

Thank you so much.

[SaithJC]

I feel you about making videos in public ... and I think it comes with being self conscious. I'm already self conscious about my looks, weight, ect .... so why would I want to draw more attention to myself by talking to a camera.

That's why I like my Library Vlogs. It's pushing me to be more open to filming in public.

[thinkmorepink]

Yes!! I love the library vlogs

[CapeandCowl]

I'm proud of you for doing what you have to do for your health Shan!

[thinkmorepink]

Thanks so much for the support. <3

[mchavarria91]

you're an amazing person, i swear!. :D

[thinkmorepink]

Thanks :)