Loving Gaze, Adulating Gaze: False vs. True Self

[bluestmarble]

@Danellixd  LOL!!! I need to have another beer while I think on that one. :)

[Anastrodamus]

or he may be describing Donald Trump. lol.

[Anastrodamus]

BUt isnt this describing 99% of the population?

[bluestmarble]

@Danellixd  See, and maybe for me that's the difference? I run marathons, travel the world, experience success and failure... but I don't see the world as largely "competitive." Whereas the N that I know doesn't do anything (except stay at home and play online PS3 games.) And yet, because of all my experiences, I'd say my life is meaningful and unique... whereas when he looks back on life, what will he see? Days of playing PS3? He will have rendered his own life meaningless - so sad...

[Pippisongbird]

@bluestmarble It's best not to delight in his failures. It almost sounds like you enjoy comparing yourself to him which makes you just as bad he is if that is the case. If he's that 'low' why even compare yourself to him? Pray for him and leave him alone.

[bluestmarble]

@Pippisongbird Frankly, I had found out - not that he told me - that he is a Registered Sex Offender in my state. His crime? Sexual relations w/ youngteens he chatted w/online (he had been in his 20's.)

He thought his false self was "perfect" (and it was for awhile) and that everybody was too stupid to figure it out. :) So yep, I enjoyed his terror and tears when I confronted him - and he fears I'll spread the word.

I'm not the praying sort, but I absolutely left this RSO alone. :)

[Dassy0607]

Fascinating insight....

[YakmanBuddha]

Thanks for the post it is very informative.

I have channeled a message from the first spark being ( God) On my channel called TransInformation. What was interesting is that as I created this message via pictures and music Mel Gibson was sent through! I added him to the slide show. The movie is created to show how we have been divided and tricked in order to seperate us. Watch for the similarites througout the Globe. We have been narsisitic as a civilization My spellings bad sorry (practiceing!)

[Persephone535]

Hi Sam.............yes I can quite understand this......................I have known and loved a narcissist for 20 years, 13 of them as (shall we say) his bed mate. Really cannot call it a relationship!..........and I have met and seen other women who he has lied to, about himself and about other women. His false self gets more and more deluded, more fantastical as he ages.................thanks to you Sam, I now have the tools to mirror and abandon!!!

[Kathydrel]

Good morning Sam , you have done a wonderful job once again. I have lent out or given away all the copies I bought of your book so for now I'll have to rely on you tube for your insights .I haven't seen "The Beaver" ,because now I see Mel G as a raging narcissist , but it sounds like it gives us a visual aid to help understand the "false self ".

[Pippisongbird]

Examples:

A person who acts tough and goes on about how they are NOT a victim, a person who seeks out safe people to bully and boss, a person who tells stories of how strong they are---their false self is this Strong Person while their true self is scared, timid and even cowardly. Their true self is terrified of being exposed as vulnerable so they puff themselves up and look for easy targets. They have no empathy. They say things like, "grow a backbone" to others and enjoy calling others weak.

[bluestmarble]

@Pippisongbird Funny, I do know someone who is JUST like this: always critical of how weak others are, how stupid, how stupid the world is. To hear him talk, you'd think he was king of the world! But in reality, he's a high-school dropout who (at the age of 30) lives with his parents, works for his dad, and can't make it on his own. But he's the most critical, arrogant person I've ever met - and he HATES being around strong, capable people (like me) whom he calls "intimidating". LOL!

[Pippisongbird]

@bluestmarble That's typical. People like that don't seek out successful people and are easily intimidated. Some people like that will try to wear down the capable person and will 'hunt' for any vulnerabilities and focus on them and will try to get the strong person to fixate on the vulnerabilities and discount all their positive traits. They play the perfectionist card on you, "You mean you don't know how to spell Boulevard, I thought you were intelligent!"

[bluestmarble]

@Pippisongbird It's so funny that you talk about the "hunt" for vulnerabilities. The N that I knew harped that I had a XOOM rather than an iPad, or that I didn't have Blu-Ray (he spent all his time on TV and playing video games). To him, I was "inferior" in those areas. I responded that I'd rather be out LIVING life (I skydive, run marathons, travel the world) and I really didn't care about watching fictional accounts of other peoples' lives, and he retreated so fast it was comical. LOL :)

[Pippisongbird]

@bluestmarble Some people go pretty nuts over Blu-Ray. Be careful of this guy. Seriously, he could be dangerous especially if you are telling him that he doesn't have a life. People like that can become very envious and dangerous.

[bluestmarble]

@Pippisongbird Dangerous? Nope - he's a complete wuss, and terrified of the thought of jail/prison (he'd never survive.)

And I've found the two mechanisms that they can't stand: 1) Have a secret they don't want revealed to the rest of their "world", and 2) Tell them (while they're engaging in some lie) that you find them and their lies FUNNY. Keep repeating this.

You can't do it with a dangerous one - but a weak one knows you have the upper hand and, hating strength, he retreats :)