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From: pepsim02
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  • Have I missed a page? Comedy sketch and there's comments on Ireland and the Parachute Regiment....phew, enough German beer for me!

    English bastards Voice 1!

  • Ill tell you whats offensive some hairy ball bag saying that England is full of Scots, my arse why would we leave the greatest country on Earth.

  • No.3 is billy connolly.

  • so billy connelly falls under the third category

  • I'm scottish.. I dont give a fuck about the hate between scotland & england.. english folk are quite cool :P

  • @TheNeoAxl And you Jocks aint all bad yourselves :)

  • HE GOT WAN THING RIGHT ,ENGLISH BASTARD

  • FUCKIN BASTARD ENGAYLISH CUNTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • ENGLISH CUNT SCOTLAND FTW

  • love the scots

  • burglar alarrararm.

  • I'm only judging Al by how he saaaaawnds, and he doesn't saaaaaawnd very funny at awwwwlll. In fact he saaaaaawwwnds effin shooooite

  • Comment removed

  • @TheARMAProductions

    scottish people have chips so big on ther shoulders they can't look forward. England is responsible for all the problems in scotland ever

  • Lots of huffing and puffing from the big englander but if you don't have the talent then there's not much you can do. Billy Connolly he ain't .

  • what a hero. :D

  • fucking legend !

  • THE TROUBLE WITH ENGLAND IS THAT IT'S FULL WANKERS!! 

  • @Katied19 fuck you.

  • @Katied19 bus wankers

  • MrR3wind, I for one am not trolling, I was directed to this page after googling Examples of stupidity, of course I didn't watch the arrogant prick I commented after reading a few of the retarded comments.

    Because you can't comprehend something doesn't make the writer a troll, it means that you are thick. OK.

  • This kind of pathetic "comedy" should have died along with Bernard Manning. He was another fat English waste of space. If the English don't take offence to being taken the piss out of then they've no pride, and having visited the place, I understand why.

    Us Scots are and have good reason to be proud.

  • @MsFifi11c It's a satire!

  • haha no 3 sounds like billy connoly

  • The trouble with Scotland is that it's full of Scots.

    The trouble with England is that it's also full of Scots.

  • @feralferret and the trouble with you is that you're not a scot.

  • @lebartonne Actually I'm quarter Scottish and wish I wasn't. Fed up of English being bashed regardlessly by the Scots, you're a bunch of racist tossers.

  • @feralferret lol..get over yourself... i think you're generalizing and taking life a wee bit too seriously....and letting the world see how much of a tosser you are in the process.... seek therapy.... life can't be that bad.

  • @feralferret Fuck off ya English dick there is far to many of u english wanks in SCOTLAND takin our jobs!

  • @duncanmotorsport You've just automatically affirmed Al Murray's analysis by identically matching yourself to Type #2 on the Jockery scale, the 'yappy terrier Scot'. Congrats.

  • @feralferret fuck you ya wanker am fae glasgow ya fanny

  • @jamiemcv12

    why are you typing like a heavily disabled chav? you constintuted fae for from. I love how scottish people try to portray their accents on youtube but they just sound like someone with a speech problem.

    ARM FROM GLASG TSSANK U

  • @menacinghat am sorry old cap go fuck your self england fall of wee pussy,s

  • @jamiemcv12

    firstly,learn how to spell. It is a horrible thing when you(i was joking) seriously see poor people such as yourself have such hatred of a people who do not have any ill feelings for you,not even positive ones,just gray area. Hatred for england stems from the goverment and battles hundreds of years ago. If you are going to hate 50 million people for the opinions of a few old men and things that happened hundreds of years ago it is rather sad.

    i pity you,truly.

  • @menacinghat yo pity me truly this is why england is one of the most hated places in the world family gut hates them southpark hates you ever one hates you think about it wales hates you scotland hates you ireland hates you,s a lot of usa hates you,s most of europe hates you,s england and america couse most of the trouble in the world so fuck england never mind the fucking golden ages even no wee won most of the wars with you ya wee fanny

  • @jamiemcv12

    yes,i do pity you. you have poor grammar,and a poor understanding of the world. Comedy shows are are not hating on any culture or country,they are merely poking fun. i don't hate you,nobody i know hates you,so why do you hate me?

  • @menacinghat just saying most of the world hates you,s

  • @jamiemcv12

    no,they don't. nobody truly hates a person for being born on land far from them,they didn't chose to. the world does not hate the english. They hate the 'British' that's you big boy ;)

  • @menacinghat no they hate england

  • @jamiemcv12

    the injustices of the world were done by the scottish as much as the english. scottish soldiers gunned down irish men in bloody sunday. FACT

  • @menacinghat amazing the scotish soldiers were in the amry no they add to

  • @menacinghat I've spoken to a Para who was at that tragic event.....and swears blind that shots were fired at them before they fired back... they were soldiers,and trained to defend themselves.A truly tragic day,and no one will ever know the truth about what really happened!!!!!!!!,my brother was in the Paras for 6 years and was at Warrenpoint when 16 Paras were murdered by the IRA,the same day Lord Mountbatten was also murdered by the IRA...... FACT

  • The trouble with Scotland is it's full of English actually !!!!!!!

  • @feralferret The problem with Scotland is that it's oil rich and has the lowest unemployment rate in the UK but they still let the English think they pay for everything. HAHA!

  • @feralferret last time i looked england is overrun with east europeans, africans, west indians and asians, in fact they will rule the place in a few years, cos u lot cant breed enough as cant get it up and physically inferior to the incomers lol

  • This is hilarious but so factually inaccurate!!!!!!

    LOL

  • four types of englishmen. 1. wanker 2.arsehole 3.dickhead 4.cunt

  • Hehehe Scottish CUNTS! Tbh i love when he takes the mic outta us Irish

  • @NinaLuvsFriedChicken Haha i'm Scottish and this is SO TRUE. Shame i grew up in England. I don't have any of those accents :L Its all fun i guess. Just humour.

  • I love this, and I'm Scottish, Keep on going al, you Rock

  • Very, very funny and I'm also a Jock.

    Al Murray is great - for an English twat!!!

  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

    Am type 1 LOL xD that's quality :)

  • LOL this is actually hilarious because it's so true!! And before anyone gets offended by this, I'll have you know that I'm a proud Scot and this isn't offensive in the least bit to me nor should it be to anyone else.

  • @MrsIce100 Anyone can take offence to anything they want. Your point is invalid

  • What is 'jockery' (hope I spelled it right)?

  • It's funny coz it's true

  • The only reason you should ever be offended by Al Murray is when he DOESN'T take the piss out of you. It's a privilege, and that's coming from a Irishman :D

  • @DarrenS300 And loved them so much you want one of them in your display picture. lol you fail.

  • @DarrenS300 Assassins creed and some shogun game on your channel, you sad boy.

  • @DarrenS300 Ha Your a twat behind yours.

  • @DarrenS300 ROFL im not mad though thats the point you think you have frustrated me somehow when you were the one who posted to me trying to defend your petty country lol your desperate for trying to put this on me lol. Dumbass.

  • @DarrenS300 lol im not a mind reader you stupid twat, seriously just fuck off i cant be arsed arguing with a complete moron.

  • @DarrenS300 Your mentally challenged i never said you did i said i did. Seriously stop replying you look like an idiot now.

  • @DarrenS300 Your an idiot, When i said Britain i meant BRITAIN Not England, i live in the highlands so as i said before "They are easily annoyed" Im Scottish but i was born in a lowland Area then i lived in England. I think you need to read comments properly before you give your opinion and i know alot about history prehaps alot more than one topic can show, I know alot about the Great British empire and USA in its early years. Good day sir.

  • @DarrenS300 No its stuff like the Highland Clearence and such but they do get annoyed about the Jacobite rebellion because in the end they fail, the Great British army was mainly in France at the time and as they get to Derby not only did they retreat because they were misimformed they then got back to the highlands and were beaten by the British forces. They have alot to be annoyed over lol

  • Come on Scots its funny im Welsh with a Scottish girlfriend lets not be American and see a joke when its a joke rather than being humourless pricks

  • if you can judge people by how they sound,then he sounds like a typical english wanker

  • The fourth one had me laughing like fuck, absolute class :L

  • saw him in portsmouth last night and he did that exact joke... it still doesn't get old LOL

  • I am a real Scot and that was absolute class!

  • Any real scottish person would never get offended. :D

  • lol i love arging with them its quite funny how annoyed they get over something over 200 years ago

  • I actually find Al Murray quite funny sometimes & this was no exception. The people who're so far up their own arse that they take a joke at face value need to lighten up. Glad I'm not the only Scotman who finds this funny though.

  • lmao yassss quality

  • THE SCOTTISH GUY THEY KEEP ZOOMING IN ON IS MY SCIENCE TEACHERRRR :O

  • @JonathonTweedale aha for real ??

  • @mckenziebellawf2 YEAH MAN!!!

    

  • hahaha!!!!

  • @spokesey55 Thanks buddy, I like to think so.

  • Well he might be taking the piss out of Scottish but hes making it up by saying English bastard so im happy :)

  • @spokesey55 I meant the character you clown and what I said must have touched a nerve as this character portrays the very worst of the English....imagine a French comedian going on like this...wait do the French have comedians....maybe not. Anyways....it still pretty shitty humour

  • This guy is a racist cunt sat in a velvet glove...typical English laugh at Johnny Foreigner weak arsed humour - Bernard Manning for the new millenium - he saturates his diatribe with a sort of "I'm only having a laugh at English actually mate" angle...trouble is this shit reinforces all the stereotypes....again. Sad to see really...and not funny. Unless of course you are English and view the world through xenophobic glasses. I see he also does Germans, Geordies and Scousers...not funny!

  • @lisduggan64 No, hes "racist" because your a potato farming wanker, and you probably see every English person as maggie thatcher, Stupid prick.

  • @joezzzify you are I presume under 14? If not please think before you;re write...why would I see every English person as Maggie Thatcher? What a ridiculous statement. I merely said this reinforces the stereotypes as seen by Xenophobes, particularly in England. Also potato farming wanker?What does this mean? Do you not eat chips in your village?

  • @lisduggan64 You obviously dont have a sense of humour, he does not reinforce stereotypes, he makes jokes about them, well nevermind, you not having a sense of humour you wouldnt understand the difference.

  • @joezzzify I do have a sense of humour, trust me - but I also have a sense of what does actually petrol to the fire of hatred, and perennial fact that many South Eastern English believe they are top dog at the expense of the Germans, French, Irish, Scots, Welsh - in fact all of the outside world...the Germans have gotten over the war...maybe England does too...it was theYanks who saved your arse and allowed shit comedy like this to come through....

  • @lisduggan64 Oh, god you really dont have a sense of humour do you? HE. IS. MAKING. JOKES. HE IS NOT REALLY A DRUNK HE IS NOT TRYING TO SPREAD HATE? DOES.. YOU . UNDERSTAND???

  • @joezzzify I GET IT JUST LIKE BERNARD MANNING WAS - OR IS THIS A POST MODERNIST VERSION? I UNDERSTAND THIS IS A CHARACTER YOU CHILD! WHAT I AM SAYING....I'll go lower case for this so you understand me....this kind of humour reinforces English attitudes to those outside London then...is that clear for you? This kind of character is as welcome in comedy as a fart in a space suit, as a real comedian once put it!

  • @lisduggan64 Right, so explain to me why that isnt funny.

  • @lisduggan64 Also, if you think he is trying to spread hate, you should see frankie boyle.

  • @joezzzify I don't care to see anything like that...& for the record I don't think this guy is trying to spread hate but I do think this kind of humour can be picked up by those inclined to hating all things foreign or non-English can take this as a justification for their beliefs. It's a pity he can't find something other than national stereotypes to slag off. He should use the character to reflect the foibles of England - see how we do it in Ireland - search for The Savage Eye on Youtube

  • @lisduggan64 Well really all the hate ive gained from al murray is anyone who is anti bacon.

  • @lisduggan64 please stop trying to act smart - and stop being "assuming" this and that...

    no country is more xenophobic or thinks others in a stereotypical way than any other country.

    Please for the love of god stop arguing it's pointless and time wasting...

  • @SomeRandomTiger but you have to admit the goading get some goats going all the same. Arguing is a Celtic past time!!!

  • @lisduggan64 the goading get some goats??? Be quiet...

  • Im A flaming homosexual and id wud have sex with all of you lads,cum out of the closet

  • What a stupid English prick

  • @shanman1019 *bastard*

  • @shanman1019 its English bastard and American prick

  • @shanman1019

    YOUUUUUUUUW ANGLISH BASTARD YOUUUUUUUU YOU RUINED EVERYTHING POSSIBLE ANGLISH BASTARD

    HOOTS MON I AZ A CHIP ON MY SHOULDAR

    english:feels good to be superior

    scotsman:FUGEN ENGLISH NIGGERS IN UR COUNTRTy

    go back to your pub neckbeard racist

  • @shanman1019

    thank you to all the scots proving the stereotype correct on here.

    YOU ANGLISH BASTARD

  • And one more thing There is no scottish race no english rare we are not a new chain in the link you are white or black or yellow ect so how can it even be thought of as being racist stupid if you ask me its a joke

  • Scottish but that was funny AAAAYYYYYEEEEE!!!!!!!! lol

  • I'm from Scotland and I thought it was funny because I know people like that !!!!

    Al Murray takes the piss out of everyone so don't lose any sleep over it. By the way, Murray is a Scottish name !!!!

  • Looks like 43 people are pissed off Scotsmen :L

  • unbelievably funny!

  • "the way they saaaanddddd" he has a cheek lol

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  • Love his different voices. I was hysterical

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  • im scottish and im no.5

  • England and Scotland are the best of friends :P

  • @CallumJ230 If this is some attempt at humour you fail at life.

  • @pacmandem It was not an attempt because i had already won

  • Hahahaha i love this. Dumb scottish twats

  • @QuincyAD87 i fucked ur maw

  • im from scotland and thought this was hilarious! XD

  • " you english bastard, its all your fault "

  • hahahaa im scottish and Al got it fuckin spot on!

  • People who are offended by this are just trollin'. If you hate al murray, or dont like being taken the piss out of being scottish, why did you click on an clip named: " Al Murray, Scotsmen" If you dont like him, thats fine, but your just causing trouble if you then go on to watch and comment on his clips on youtube.

    However was a great joke :D I loved type 3 best, it had me rofl'ing the first time i heard it. Of course these are all steriotypes, and his accents arent good, but he is class anyway

  • @MrR3wind Either that or they don't understand satire.

  • His accent is shite..but he got the sentiment right,,,The English are Bastards...Pause & wait for the Flak.

  • As good as ever

  • i know someone who sounds like number 3 lol i love his voice i think its so sexy <3

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  • Funny stuff coming from a fat English poof.

  • @MissEgasMoniz hes a rich one so im sure he can live with it.

  • terrible comedian

  • @mckyle9 Are you British and have experience with British culture? If not, it probably isn't funny to you.

  • @mj2w1

    ive lived in britain my whole life, this isnt funny to me because he isnt funny.

  • What does the 4th type mean?

    Sounds like an opening door..........I don't get that bit.

    lol

  • @GLORD99092 a lot of us Scots use the word Aye or I for yes and some accents are higher pitch in different areas.

  • @haloguy510 "Aye" is Scots for "Yes"

    'Scots' (not to be cofused with Scots Gaelic, Scotland's ancient native language, that has Pictish suplanted into it) is a wide continuum language that ranges from Scots standard English to focused Broad Scots, which when Scots is spoken in it's broad form, it becomes a different language altogether.

  • Gotta say as a scot, it's on the money.

  • @johnniejellybelly Aye, but he's still an english bastard.

  • whats the name of the show?

  • Scottish and LOVED this hahahaha. Loved darmoordog's comment as well hahaha

  • al murray must have been touched as a child haha freeeeedom

  • I am called an "English Bastard" everyday....My wife of 28 years is a Scot.....Scottish Bastard!

  • @dartmoordog Don't mean this in the wrong way, so don't take it the wrong way, but "Scottish bastard" isn't a legit term like "English bastard is",

    Look up the word "Bastard" somewhere like Wikipedia, and you'll find that it was an English & Welsh law

    (Wales was part of England at the time),

    which basicaly means that only the English can legally be "bastards".

    Scots law has always been separate from English law, so it doesn't legaly apply to Scots.

    Just saying...

  • @dartmoordog My condolances

  • @Chefodeath .....Thank you for your kind thoughts. It has never been easy!

  • Stupid Scottish twat

  • I'm English and there's nothing wrong with our accent (i'm a Londoner..the proper accent)..not the drunken mumblings of the northerners and beyond..:-)

  • @WASPS1867 drunk maybe, but i love it :-)

  • @WASPS1867 yeah cockney is an intelligent sounding accent that you can trust isn't it! haha, or not.

  • @WASPS1867 awight,awight,awight

  • @WASPS1867 awroigh' me ol' choyna? Haha, glad to be a Northern Monkey and not a Southern Fairy.

  • @higofyp Glad to have a house and not a criminal record :p

  • Fucking funny, eyes are watering now!

  • I remember he made another scot joke which was fucking hilarious about, a scotsman explaing what hell is like, but I can't find it anywhere.

  • i nearly lost it at the 3rd one, utterly brilliant!

  • i almost pissed myself at the last one

  • As an American who once lived in Scotland... Yep. Pretty much.

  • im from scotland and this is not funny, not because im offended, the michael mcintyre and robin williams piss take out of us are funny, al murray just isnt funny, he is a big fat prick

  • @dades1987 um he's a comedian, and all comedians take the mik out of a certain subject and in the end its just a joke. If ur offended fine, fuck off, dont watch it, simple, but face facts that probably all the stuff they say they dont mean most of the time and u shouldnt take it as offensive but as a joke. I'm Welsh, he takes the piss out of the Welsh as does pretty much every UK comedian and I'm not offended, I find it hilarious, it's a joke, doesnt have to be taken seriously.

  • @dades1987

    It's just that your not intelligent enough to get it. Al is not taking the piss out of the Scots so much as he is playing the role of the stereotyped ignorant pub landlord.

    Now be honest...you were offended which is why you (and the other Scots here) are commenting. It's the same deal with all you guys...you can dish out but you cannot take lol. You only take offence to this and not Robby Williams as here...it is an Englishman taking the piss :)

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  • @29Gixxer i am hardly offended by crap jokes about our accents which by the way sound a lot better and less weedy than any english accent, and i get that he is playing the stereotypical barman,lol i never actually thought this is how he is in everyday life, and i am not offended al murray just isnt funny and why are you defending him anyway?lol other comedians scots routines are funny, sean lock, robin williams, michael mcintyre, and how dare you imply that al murray is intelligent comedy.ha

  • @dades1987

    There is no one single nefy English accent...come on mate...you know that. I think your referring to the public shool accent so be aware that we have...geodies, scouser, brummies, mackem, cockney etc. It's the same with the Scottish accent. There's loads of them. I'm defending him as that's the point...the joke is on him :)

    I have only seen the Robin Williams one although to be fair I think Williams is a better comedian anyway.

  • @29Gixxer  lol, i was referring to the public school accent, you should check out sean locks piss take of the scots it is a lot funnier.

  • @dades1987

    It's actually quite a rare accent as it's only the rich who can afford the £30,000 per term fees for those schools. I'll tell you the English dialect/accent I cannot stand (and I'm English)...it's this hybrid of black/Ghetto slang that is just ridiculous. It started off as a black youth thing but is now rampant throughout parts of London and with all cultures....'innit' :)

    I'll take a look :)

  • @dades1987 aaah u scottish basstard, :P

  • @jake1994rock bastard is only one s by the way, you little southern ponce, your dad rapes transexuals, pokes his bum then puts his finger under your nose while you are asleep

  • @dades1987 i am soo sorry. Omg my youtube channel had been raped by my mate. he found out my password. seriously, plz accept my apologies for my mate bein such a cunt.

  • @dades1987 Well i'm from scotland too, just outside edinburgh, my brother and i found this video hilarious......had us almost on the floor dying of laughter, Al's equal to macintyre and williams

  • what an absolute cunt

  • ROFL!!

  • You should all be ashamed of yourself for laughing at this guy , he's a fat retarded bald down syndrome guy.