Added: 5 years ago
From: seistan
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  • Doug is so awesome, he's best in your backyard... but I'll go see him...

  • When I was about to graduate from college, people asked me, "Are you going to wallk? I answered, "I will walk into a whore house in brazil witha bunch of druhs in my pocket."

  • thank you for posting! ledgend

  • He's something else man.

  • I always ditch weddings, they scare me. The way females go freaky nut on their wedding day, it creeps me out. I'm glad im not the only one who feels this way.

  • "Nobody wants to go to your wedding....true shit!" I don't speak for myself, I speak for all men minus the asshole.

  • i fucking love this guy

  • Hicks this Hicks that. Hicks is fuckin dead, and you necrophiliacs are sucking his stone dead cock.

    I think he'd say something along those lines in respect to people arguing on a fucking computer inside their houses about his comedy vs. someone else's.

  • dig the pig shirt

  • Stanhope - "AM I BILL HICKS YET GUYS?!"

  • @AttackMyAss I'd saythat there's more Carlin over him than Hicks.

    Perhaps a mix of Carlin's humor with Hick's smoking and mannerisms.

  • @Squiglypig He's nowhere near as intelligent is Carlin was.

  • @AttackMyAss Agree 100 percent. Carlin was the greatest of all time.

  • @nickmordo lol @ my 3am grammar slip-up. I mean, I respect Stanhope's direction, but there's nothing original about him.

  • @AttackMyAss

    The only reason you know about hicks is because of tool you fucking angsty teenager. Fuck off stanhope has been doing this shit for 17 years.

  • @FooledToaster Haha U SO MAD. 17 years and still so shit? He should quit. Also Tool suck.

  • @AttackMyAss

    Look up the video where he talks about dumb fucks like you and I. "Doug stanhope your opinion".

  • He reminds me so harshly of Bill Hicks. The cigarettes, drinkin, and how much he wants to just shake people awake. One of my new favorites

  • doug for president!

  • I can only imagine the universe within Stanhope's head. Pure insanity.

  • the last part is devastatingly true. 

  • So true.. his view is sad though

  • Comment removed

  • Fuck marriage.

    You don't need a gratuitous ceremony to prove your love to someone.

    If you truly do love someone, and want a monogamous relationship with them, then live together with them and let your personal beliefs and connection dictate how you are. Not fucking Government legislation.

    And it's sad how it's so embedded in American society that you need to get married when you're older.

  • Why are half of the promoted videos on youtube about mormons?

  • i hate marrage

  • Wicked :D

  • amazing

  • Are there more morons now than ever before? I work with about 35 people and I would only consider 3 of us to be intellectually evolved, fully functioning intelligent adults with rounded. informed opinions about life and the world around us. That's not a good ratio! Having said that, I do work for the Post Office!

  • i think marriage is stupid

  • did he mention "elimi-date"? lol!

  • Not every wedding is an American wedding. Some know how to have fun.

  • @StevenRoyEdwards Isn't there a Gogol Bordelo song called 'American Wedding' that's exactly about that?

  • I agree. Some stupid ceremony doesn't seal companionship; if you love someone that's all you need. My parent and step parent have been together for 10 years and were never officially married; there's no different, and, they're A LOT happier than most married couples I've come across.

  • Its difficult to raise a child. Being honorable allows a relief to the suspicions you may have, as an individual, toward other people.

    I am thinking were having prolonged childhoods...people in their twenties are still kids, and life begins at forty....when you realize you aint shit. Really.

  • I think I remember reading that marriage first became regulated by the church in the early medieval period. Something about people informally marrying and then splitting, thus encouraging sin. The medieval church was a major control freak. Sex used to only be permissable on certain days of the week and in the missionary position; that's probably how it got its name now I think about it.

  • @SilverShadows88 The Roman Empire encouraged marriage in the form of tax breaks. :)

  • I love weddings ^___^ Just not mine >.> You get good food, booze and cake and yea that's the only reason why I love them. XD

  • @MistressArte I've heard people say that all my life...come on...let's go to that party...we're gonna have to sit around with a bunch of total assholes for 6 hours straight, but!!! there's food and drinks :DDDDD...what in the fuck?...you don't have that shit at home??...brainless shallow fucking freeloaders...have some pride for god's sake.

  • @mongolenpup Sorry you have such crappy friends. I like to be with my friends.

  • If you haven't noticed, this man sees shit just the way it is in life and it's because he uses drugs to expand his mind.

  • @YourFavPissStain

    Or he's just fucking intelligent, ever consider that?

  • I love the PIG shirt.

  • Marriage was invented to help prevent the spread of VD/STD's a LONG time ago. It's all BS to me. If you want to be with someone then be with them. That should be it.

  • If you say you never want to get married all your friends and families may look at you like your crazy. They should all watch this to understand how you feel.

  • Still the most underrated man in the world.

  • I saw Joe Rogan do this exact same bit.....I know they are buddies, so I wonder if they wrote it together or just trade jokes?

  • @rep300 they trade jokes because joe rogan is a shit comedian and needs material desperately.

  • get married like in natural born killers XD

  • only the sheep march themselves to the slaughter...

  • I strongly agree with this. We should set up a "Watch 'Em Fuck" church of marriage. "WEF" -there are no priests, not even porn directors. The church would be illegal from the get-go, and one of the tenets of the church would be that all tyranny should be violently rebelled against, with no compromise and full destruction of any "clear and present tyranny", ...and no witnesses. The only way to appease the WEF church would be for society to leave them utterly the fuck alone.

  • Marriage= politics*

  • I think marriage is a religious thing personally...

  • @MrSpieldose But marriage is not a religious thing. It's a legal matter - legitimized by the government and overseen by a priest. Personally, I think it should be a personal matter - legitimized by the two getting married and overseen by their friends and family.

  • It's either Doug or Frankie Boyle for prime minister!!

  • This is fucking great, man. I believe in marriage, but the state shouldn't be involved. I've been saying this for years, and this just summed it up perfectly, man.

  • hm you know what, I fucking agree 100%, I think all marriage is vestigial , what is marriage? well first off it comes from religion, so that's already grounds for failure, also marriage has nothing to do with commitment for love, love and commitment is based on how much time you spend with the person and what you do in the time you spend together, fuck marriage, you love each other, then buy a fucking house and stay together, fuck each other, eat, and all the other common shit you guys like

  • lol but see your a guy. and marriage exists because lots of women want it. And to girls Marriage has everything to do with love and commitment.

  • marriage is not love and commitment, rings are nothing, gifts are nothing, papers are nothing, government like getting involved in peoples affairs, you say to girls marriage is all about love and commitment, I'm not sure all girls feel that way, and my question to any girl who says that would be what if you guys spend a lot of time together had fun got along great sex is good too of course, but because you're not marriage, somehow your relationship is not as good? I totally disagree

  • I never said marriage is important to most women, just your average typical girl (uh yes).

    See your problem is you have a very unique opinion and don't acknowledge that fact your logic isn't the most common. I respect and understand your point of view. But most women see Marriage completely as commitment as it means a man is "IN PAPER" devoting himself to ONE woman.

    I can tell by the way you talk, you don't like the government, so your naturally inclined to dislike the idea.

  • Don't get me wrong, marriage is just a formal agreement in writing, yes I know. And it doesn't control "love" in a relationship by any means.

    But what you need to accept is that the average women does view it as part of the climax in a love relationship.

    On a seperate note. complaining about government being involved in peoples affairs is completely absurd and pointless. The whole concept and point of a government is to help stabalize society and help control a peoples affairs.

  • I'm not against marriage because of government control. I'm against it for it's own reasons. But to have a stable and productive socerity as you mentioned you don't need the amount of control the government currently has, we could do with a lot less and still be great, perhaps better. oh and your bullshit about "most people" is laughable. most people thought slavery is ok, women are inferior to men, and the earth is flat. just like those attitudes changed attitudes about marriage need to change

  • oh ya, I agree, it brings something to the show, and makes controversial material a little easier to swallow...but the man does like his beer

  • mmmm beer!!!

  • I wonder if his beer bottles are props? Just got water in them? Drink so the audience buys more drinks? Well it would be an effective gimmick if it is.

  • @snapcrackleandpop99 I've seen him...he gets drunk ;)

  • you sure? i guess he does then.

    a lot of comedians schick is delivering like you might be spaced out or drunk or crazy. i've seen a few like that. theory is it brings more lols or softens anything too "outrageous" or "offensive".

  • If it is just a prop, its more likely to be a device that makes him look vulnerable on stage whilst maintaining complete sobriety.

  • are you retarted?

  • ......really a prop.....maybe ur a prop!!!! here to only excite rage and utter digust!!!!

  • i ment disgust by t\e way snapcrackleandpissmeoff99

  • Urinate on his grave. Oh, Stanhope.

  • This is funny as hell ~laughing~ I skipped my high school graduation ceremony and instead I threw a keg party in my backyard with a live local cover band. Come to think about it, I did that for a couple of proms and homecomings too. Rock On!!

  • You have a bright future my friend. Keep it up!

  • @BeegMonkay Fuck man, I wish I could skip my graduation ceremony, but my parents told me that if I don't want kicked out immediately after highschool, I have to go the ceremony. But I'm planning on showing up fucked up to some degree

  • @BeegMonkay Fuck that, I dropped out of high school and am going straight to college in January. WOOT

  • @BeegMonkay Oh sorry, you posted that a year ago. :P

  • @BeegMonkay Awesome. I hate how they glorify Senior Prom and the Graduation Ceremony at school and shit!

  • I think you sir, are mistaken.

    You're correct, sir... I´d say more but I digress...

  • Isn't he always?

  • chucky cheese indian raindance yesssssss haha

  • I love my wife, loved my wedding, but a society with contraceptives and DNA tests has NO need for legal implications in marriage.

  • Just follow the mother's blood line, then the father doesn't even matter.

  • what's wrong with contraceptives? does it bother you that people have the freedom to fuck without consequences?

  • M. Jackson said it in one of his songs (Man in the mirror) If you want to change the world start with the man in the mirror. Chage his ways. This is the best mesage.

    You ask from where you can strat? This is the answer - from yourself. But don't just try, push yourself to the limits!

  • Maybe Wacko Jacko should've practiced what he preached and joined the human race!

  • Pretty sure he was a homo sapiens sapiens. Actually, I am certain as no other specie has the ability to form complex sentences. His body also has a clear homoniod shape.

    I think you sir, are mistaken.

    There is one option though; he could have been an alien in disguise. But you need to be a fucking retarded cumlicking voter to think that.

  • Quite, the contrary, I think he took the "change the man in the mirror" thing a little too literaly. Ah thank you.

  • YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo

    What's the name of this show/tour?

    Thanks!

    Peace <3 N United Diversity

  • i think it might be doug stanhope: no refunds

  • I think it's called "The austin incident" It's really cool! Alex Jones opens for him, people got pissed, it sounds like it almost gets to a brawl and he laughs them down XD It's fukin GREAT!

  • Doug Stanhope is the new Doug Stanhope..... no reason to compare people to other people. Why not simply enjoy what you're getting.

  • that's awesome. I have to be at a wedding in three weeks and on the outside I'm happy for my friend who finally found someone he loves but on the inside I'm thinking "why do I have to drive 8 hours to see you kiss a someone and pay hundreds maybe thousands of dollars"

  • "Attention 3 times."  Awesome.

    Three Happiness Chinese Restaurant. LOL

  • yeah...stanhope is the new carlin. i can't wait to see how bitterly funny he is at 50...if he lives that long.

  • I agree, if he keeps it up, he will be up there with Carlin and Hicks in history for hundreds of years. Alot of the things this guy (and Calin, Hicks, others) talks about are universal, it wont get old like the Paris Hilton material many of the comersial clown comedians are on.

  • oh shit man, great point, I have a lot to look forward to :) thanks for pointing that out man!!

    and then imagine him in his 70s eh? he's gonna super awesome!!

  • Yes, he's gonna super awesome indeed, thefutureboom. Excelent and astute observation.

  • this guy is hilarious- very fun, extreemely intelligent, he says alot of the stuff i think in my head, especially shit about the average joe and how most peoples lives are fucking boring and droll lol. i think he is george carlin incarnate, but you know what- i think he may be even funnier and smarter.

  • Boy, the crowd sucks... only a few people are getting it.

  • @cibreca hey man its in texas....lol

  • @cibreca it's Texas... :D

  • @cibreca This was taken from the Austin Incident. If you haven't seen the show from Start to Finish, check it; the fact that he was able to tame the crowd the way he did was fucking awe-inspiring.

  • And who set the standards to begin with

  • check out johnnyfuckingedwards, not socio-political, but fucking funny!!! Jokes about rear-roids, prostaints, and snatchgaskets!!!

  • I don't think he likes marriage much, but I could be wrong.. :)

  • the only thing that really connects carlin, hicks, and stanhope is their hate of religion. hicks didn't even hate religion, just the stupidity of fundamentalists.

    they are all awesome comedians, but their styles are utterly different from each other.

  • Completely different. they all hated censorship and this fake image for the world thats what also connects them and thats why I respect them. They are just saying what people want to say.

  • they were basically all libertarians also--anti-government regulation.

  • No they weren't

  • I think their style is kind of similiar - The bitter old man that criticizes society and its flaws. If ya know what i mean :)

  • damn! I shoulda got married at Chuck E Cheese!

  • The reason why marriage has to do with law is because the government views people as product. Not humans. Even our birth certificate. It looks EXACTLY like a product tag. The American government failed in the 1930's, ever since then, the government has used the american citizens as collateral to a false money system of perpetual self generating debt that is created for them, wholly be design, by private international banking interests. And, we are slaves to this system, until we wake up.

  • damn dude... well put, well put

  • 1913 fed. reserve

  • I was wondering where all the smart people were.

  • lol, Zeitgeist Addendum, right?

  • ha. smart?

    just educated and open minded

    Im disgusted and amazed that this information is out there and so many people dont know about it!

    Or even worse- dont care

  • dont even tell me, i live in mexico...

    the "i know they're fucking me but thats the way it is" kingdom :(

  • the whole earth is the "i know they're fucking me but thats the way it is" kingdom . trust me, ure not alone.

  • and when we wake up.........??

  • You decide.

  • I just DONT KNOW,aside from getting more and more frustrated,WHAT CAN I DO? everybody is great at pointing out whats wrong,i mean i realised most of this for myself before i started shaving.... but i still dont know what the fuck to do about it !

    being "enlightened" has just given given me wrinkles a bald patch and a cynical attitude.

    id do anything,id take up arms in a heartbeat if i thought it could make a positive difference in the world..but WHAT can/should we do???

    i despair

  • Well, first thing you need to understand is that the people who run this planet 'want' you to despair. They want you to remain confused and have no clue how to change 'reality'. And they distract us with their media, their wars, their bullshit. They distract you so you may never realize that the answer you're looking for lies within you. First, change your perception of things. If you truely desire a straight answer and more advice, please pm me.YoutubeSearch: Gregg Braden & Aodscarecrow

  • I would start by learning about firearms and bomb-making.

  • im Irish.We learn that before we know what our willys are for !!

  • You my friend, are a spastic.

  • and you think your a troll........wow

  • Learn to spend 20% percent of your time on the problem and 80% of your time on the solution. Love Everything

  • Words of wisdom right there :P

  • You can't be optimistic without being unrealistic.

  • that sentence just made everything clear.

  • @irtimed that's not true. It is possible to have optimism while still being realistic. Like any trait however, you can obviously go too far :)

  • @torment3d

    No, you can't.

  • @SomoN uh, yes you can. It's called having a good life. If things generally work out for you, then you wind up optimistic because that's usually how has happened in your experience.

  • @irtimed Or as they used to say, "Be reasonable: Demand the impossible"

  • @irtimed Wrong.

  • @irtimed it depends on what "reality" is for you. wait untill you find out that "death" does not exist. life turns into a fucking video game. I'm having some fun now.

  • @irtimed I think maybe the same goes for pessimism though

  • go fuck yourself

  • @Dezaru And the UK dude, and the UK.

  • @Dezaru Cool story, bro. 

  • @Dezaru That's so right!

  • @Dezaru Huh? Birth Certificate = product tag?

    A4 piece of paper declaring your place and date of birth vs a small piece of card with a price and a barcode on it.

    Why is it these conspiracy type always tell me to "wake up". I think it's because they are schizophrenic, mentally ill and unsure what is reality they think everything is fake. Stupid also, their feelings tell them the world is an illusion but you have to be retarded to find "logic" in that.

  • this guy is great but i will always put bill.H and George.C first.

  • You're always more famous when your dead.

  • lol, give it a couple of years

  • For real freedom and love, abolish marriage.

  • get the goverment out of it all

  • Let them look after the roads. Maybe. Or sewage - let them administrate sanitation, as they are good when it comes to stirring shit.

  • works for me, GordonMorrice . i see lots of comments on here that work for me. luckily, some people have a clue.

  • carlin>hicks>stanhope

  • Hicks>Carlin>Stanhope more like.

  • Hicks=Carlin=Stanhope=You=Me=G­od

  • You got it.

  • The reason it's so funny is because it's TRUE!!! LOL

  • Doug Stanhope is right...he's absolutely right.

  • This bit is 100% spot on.

  • To all who posted in this thread:

    hicks was great

    stanhope is great.

    stfu.

  • Thank you.

  • at the bars we enjoy!!!!! in atx !!!

  • i'd rather just watch you fuck.......

    so classic

  • Stanhope has a beautiful and feisty life-partner named (I shit you not) Bingo. She is hotsy-totsy and too much for *you* to handle. She has good taste and a shaved head (at last account) and Doug no doubt enjoys screaming her name from time to time, just as many old people do.

    So, as it turns out, you were barking up the wrong tree. And now you are surrounded by angry, tick-ridden grizzly bears.

  • so THATS her name! nice!

  • Her full name is Amy Bingaman. Bingo's just a nickname.

  • Bingo's just a name-o eh?

  • his really a mor e of a philospher than a comdeian when you think about it.

  • All good comedians are philosophers. There is this great quote that described comedy really well (can't remember who said it): "True comedy points out the absurdities in what we call normal and the normalities in what we call absurd." :)

  • thats very true.

  • he's a stand-up philosopher.

    gogo mel brooks :).

  • I love that he can balance out his philosophy with comedy. Thats the one problem i have with bill hicks, he was funny and philosophical but he just went off on tangents to much.

  • Hicks was fantastic, even on his tangents I was behind him on most of them. Hicks and Doug are both insightful comedians.

  • Thats true. The only problem i have with bill hicks are his fans for the most part.

  • Raiden the difference between Doug and Hicks is that Doug dumbs down his act for some people, Hicks never did, he never sacrificed content for laughs. Maybe what you dont like about Hicks is that he went over your head.

  • I understnad what Hicks was saying, and I know most of his albums by heart. I just prefer Stanhopes style.

  • Doug is more of a comic, Hicks was more of a philosopher...different styles, Doug makes me laugh more, but Hicks makes me think more.