Added: 2 years ago
From: mistaxe
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  • free blowjob robot I want.

  • I fucking love patton he is so weird and funny it is amazing

  • lol, optimism

  • What if that means that Barack is going to be the miracle he seems to be? Yikes. 

  • Yeah, Patton's one of the ultra-libs who think Obama can do no wrong. The material where he's sucking Obama's dick isn't very funny--it's mostly just pandering gushiness.

    And then of course it prompts the other extreme: the folks who are so angry we elected a black feller that they do mental gymnastics and fuzzy math to reckon him the worst president ever. But those people are rarely funny.

  • I'm an anthro major who's pretty interested in the dynamics of race and ethnicity in modern American society. How many of you are offended by his use of the N word?

  • @waxybastard5156 Context. I can call my sister a bitch. But I'll kick the ass of anyone else who calls her that. We're sisters, we've put up with each others shit.

    Now N, is kinda the same way. And as it has been use to degrade others, I'm not inclined to use it except towards those people who are deserving of its extreme insult.

    But it's really funny in Cee Lo Greens "Fuck You" song.

  • Well he was totally wrong about Obama huh....

  • and ur gay for saying obama is good looking

  • How great is 2009 patton?

  • @sonofjorel135 not as good as 2011

  • I bet the 2011 Patton would love to go back to the 2009 Oswalt and tell him hey it turned out that Obama guy was a total deusche bag and didnt do anything but walk around with his blackberry and blame everything on Bush.

  • Wow some people really need to laugh. If all you ran into each other on the street you would probably get along. Now, let's talk about Patton describing the Ipod-- hilarious!

  • did they have jamba juice back then?

  • free government blowjob robot!

  • Im so tired of these hollywood assholes who live in a bubble telling us how the world is supposed to work spreading their p[olitical propaganda. I used to think patton oswalt was really funny but now I think hes just another douchebag

  • thank god this tool isn't a politician...

  • Hilarious, but hopelessly optimistic.

  • THAT'S ALONG WAY AROUND TO MAKE MORE BUSH JOKES.

    lame

  • this is back when everyone was still hooked on kool-aid and people thought America would still be around in a few decades

  • Wow how can he talk when he's sucking Obama dick.

  • Who's president in 2009?... BLACK GUY!

  • Does he still have the massive Obama hard on or has it shrank a bit?

  • @Chrisdrumz His administration caught and killed Osama Bin Laden and he advocated free healthcare for all Americans.....what more does Barack have to do to gain American acceptance (*besides be born a white man).

  • @othnice Are you implying all(or maybe MOST) who don't particularly like Obama are racist?

  • @Chrisdrumz Not necessarily....... if there is a VALID reason to bash Obama then, by all means, one could say "Obama sucks because of (*examples)"......and there are FEW Obama bashers capable of doing this (and I respect that).....but for the ones who cannot provide sound commentary , it would be prudent to assume it is because of race that their contempt stems (what else could it be?)

  • @othnice You mean besides not ruining the country and being one of the worst leaders we've had, if not the worst? Have you honestly missed this administration's activity completely? Or are you one of the millions of ignorant Americans who spend all day watching tv or doing some other crap, and only follow the news when something like "OBAMA KILLS OSAMA" is ht headline? I know most of Obama's fans don't have a clue about politics or even follow the news.

  • @stfwho . You make the claim that he is "ruining the country" yet you back it up with absolutely no proof or substantial basis. You argument just exemplifies Patton Oswalt's point: people that cannot validate their reasons for hating Obama use ad homien attacks and make non sequitur arguments to disguise their underlying prejudice and/or bias. Also,by reading your comment, I can see you are an assumptive little prick with a high degree of ignorance and stupidity. Now fuck off.

  • @othnice I'm not assumptive, I asked you whether you were just unable to understand Obama's politics or if you were just willfully ignorant like most. I'm not stupid, and my arguments are not non sequitur, like I said, I actually follow Obummer's destructive policies. He tanked the economy intentionally, shut the fuck up before you even start to say "IT WAS ALL BUSH". He does so many secret deals behind closed doors yet wins an award on transparency. Kindly remove your cranium from your anus.

  • @stfwho lol You claim not to be assumptive yet you declare: "shut the fuck up before you even start to say "IT WAS ALL BUSH". I wasn't going to say that at all, but thanks for ASSUMING that i was (proving yet another one of my points).Your retort is that he does secret deals. If this is true, you should provide some evidence and enlighten the world. I will gladly accept any factual evidence that shows this (what is your source of information?) in other words: Back up what you say, asshole!

  • @othnice guess what, the "bush did it" shit is over comrade. Obama has fucked this country up worse than bush ever could have.

  • @clintusmaximus I never claimed that Bush "did" anything: not once did I place blame on Bush for anything and I defy you to prove otherwise.You're just another assumptive prick with an illiteracy problem. Stop trying to dish stuff out that you can not possibly back up. This was a 4 week old "A and B" conversation so "C" your way out of it. Go back to the kiddie table....and while you're there, maybe cool it on the whole "comrade" thing. O.K? o.k.

  • @othnice How about lowering the debt like he said he would, pulling out the troops like he said he would, not apologizing to terrorist nations in the middle east, not antagonizing israel (btw this country still has many people in it that were affected by the holocaust, and also has its enemies as its neighbors, plus has been our strongest ally), not wasting money on the great lakes fund, not bailing the people who caused the recession (the banks), actually supporting small business

  • @i8yokity1 thanks. I'm sorry to say but these reasons are absolutely unfounded and terribly subjective (unless you have documented proof for some or all of these claims i.e a news article or other published work).The burden of proof has been placed on you and the entire "hate Obama" peanut gallery. Deal with it and come up with better rebuttals. I really wish i could read some of your sources... or, at the very least, see the cesspool from which you get your (mis) information

  • @othnice By the fact that you are on youtube commenting, you have internet. Look it up jerk. The sources are everywhere

  • @i8yokity1 been arguing about this going on a month now. I'm going to continue liking Obama (since NO ONE can give me a viable reason to dislike him)....meanwhile, you can go on living in your fantasy world of make-believe. You'll read this comment, and will find it necessary to yet again respond. But here's the thing: when i see your name pop up in my G-mail account, I'll simply delete it without reading it. President's doing a good job and (like his predecessors) deserves due respect. Fuck off

  • @othnice We've given you viable reasons and we've told you the sources. You're too lazy to look them up.

  • @othnice Darfur? The Congo? Venezuela? These countries are in turmoil and the man with the strongest military in the world is doing... you guessed it, nothing. This is called being inhumane. This has nothing to do with race and I'd criticize George Bush just as much for ignoring these problems while seeking revenge on terrorists that we are ineffectively fighting.

  • @i8yokity1 People always make that assumption. That because we have a strong military, we should utilize it to fight for EVERYONE'S cause (not just our own). The U.S military should not be used as a global police force or peace-keeping task force. Our soldiers should not fight (and potentially die) for some other nation's problems. From an executive point of view,not meddling in over-seas conflict is a smart international policy.

  • @othnice Screw that. We're all humans. It's disgusting what is going on. People thinking that just because we live in America we should only mind American business. As for just another dictator stepping in...you obviously have never heard of WWII.

  • @i8yokity1 Kid.....you're living in a fantasy world. Enjoy it.

  • @othnice Old man.... you're a douchebag. Kill yourself.

  • @kakashi76767 lol you mad bro? Awwwwww, i didn't mean to make you cry. Poor ba-bee

  • @othnice you're insane

  • @kakashi76767 Wow....I wasn't even talking to you initially, i thought i was talking to the other guy....my bad, asshole

  • @othnice Im out here in 100 degree heat hauling 60lbs of gear around and getting shot at EVERY DAY to protect your old ass and you call me an asshole. well fuck you shitbag! why are you starting political shit on a comedy page anyway? Are you just the kind of guy who needs to make sure that no one is having fun at any time? Or are you obsessed with getting everyone to agree with you? ok, great, you think Obama is hitler. let me know when we invade Europe and start building gas chambers.

  • @kakashi76767 Wow. you have misconstrued my original point so badly that I'm actually, literally stunned. This started out with me DEFENDING Obama, like, 2 months ago. Yet somehow you're insinuating that I called Obama 'Hitler' and I think that I don't respect soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. I could not care any less about your fun or anyone else's: I want to defend myself from idiocy. I called you an asshole because you jumped in a conversation that did not involve you. Assholes do that.

  • Comment removed

  • @kakashi76767 I really wish I could stop commenting, but i don't back down...especially when I state my opinions freely and people insist on twisting what I say or retorting with nonsensical rebuttals. People are allowed to disagree with each other, it's a free country. I just don't like people twisting my words around or misunderstanding what I say. This has nothing to do with politics ( i could give a shit about politics). It's about the principle, dude. Now leave me alone.

  • @othnice you want to be left alone and yet you admit you cant stop commenting. sounds like you want everyone to hear what youre saying without being allowed to "jump in a conversation". i just dont understand why you have to start an argument on a comedy page. im not saying that you are not allowed to, its just something that assholes do. you seem like a loudmouth pretend know it all who has to "enlighten" people with his bullshit no matter where you are. basically, an asshole.

  • @othnice Kid? I've experienced more war than you guaranteed. You're the one living in a sheltered world of make-believe. And by the fact that you lied on one of your previous comments about not replying to all of my messages you're a liar too. Which means I am actually going to stop replying to you like you said you would to me.

  • @i8yokity1 First of all, im a Master Sergeant in the 82nd Airborne, 1st Brigade 3rd Battalion out of Fort Bragg serving my second tour in Afghanistan. Where have you served? And ill bet a million dollars you have not seen more war than i have. These wars are pointless. Afghanistan is completely corrupt. From what I've heard Iraq is too. If you want to fight these moronic wars, you can take my spot anytime. Get off your ass and do something. FYI the US has supported many dictators too.

  • @i8yokity1 Will supplanting a mass murdering dictator cause the inhumanity to cease? No. Here's the scenario: A power vacuum is created and another mass-murdering dictator will rise up as soon as American presence diminishes in that country (pick whichever country you'd like). Essentially, we'd end up doing more harm than good. Obama TRIED to intervene in the Libyan conflict (a bad idea, in my opinion) and people nonetheless gave him flack for it!! Damned if he does, damned if he doesn't

  • Patton, we don't say "retarded", even about Dubya : we say, " morbidly obtuse."

  • oswalt is really funny........in show business unless you' re dave chapelle or chris rock do not use the "n" word: not funny. remember kramer?

  • @jpgfiles Tons of non-black comics have used "nigger" in their act and were hilarious. Kramer was just bombing and then had a nervous breakdown.

  • he is not ripping off louis ck he has his own version of time travel....just like every comedian has there own version of any joke ever told so no....no one is ripping off any one

  • kinda ripping off louis CK here...

  • @mikesliff

    How?

  • I love Patton, but I hate his politics! Where does your love for barack stand now? He thinks the sun shines on barack's ass. Patton, I think you're funny, but lose Obama!!!!

  • "How many songs does it play?"

    "Every song you have ever heard, ever will hear, or will ever be recorded can be listened to on it!"

    "Wow! These cost, like, a million dollars right?"

    "They give those things away!"

  • Someone please start a band named "Free Government Blowjob Robot"

  • Yeah, I'm sure that Obama's administration is more corrupt than the lying liars that drove the country into the ditch with fake wars, environmental de-regulation, wall street corruption, governement bloat, an apocalyptic defecit and a side office in the white house for haliburton. Did I mention Dick Cheney? If you think for one second that the Bush years were some type of golden age, you are a fucking idiot and need to be sterilized for the good of the world

  • I love Patton, he's one of the funniest guys I've ever seen. But when it comes to politics, he should hold his tongue, because he simply has no clue about what he's talking about. He looks at everything through a black and white filter and doesn't bother doing research. "Free Government Blowjob Machine?" Who the hell can take that seriously?

  • Who's president?

    BLACK GUY!

  • I guess all libtards have shit in their eyes and ears. When we say obama sucks, obama is the worst weve ever had, it doesnt say anyhing about Bush (other than he wasnt the worst) but somehow thats all you get seem to say. Focus libtard. Focus. obama is HORRIBLE. Youre going to have to get over your infatuation with Bush. Youre becoming the laughing stock of America. Its pretty much the same as a mental illness.

  • jesus titty fucking christ...its stand up comedy..save the political posts for the obama is hitler/bush is the devil videos.

  • @thewolfbanger obama is hitler

  • yeah, we get this real cool black person who never did a damn thing in his life and morons came out of the woodwork to vote him in. The we made ourselves look even sillier attacking George Bush while replacing him with the most corrupt and expensive gov't in the history of the country. Im surprised this guy didnt just jack off all over the stage.

  • @Spicypapayas Government. lol

  • @Spicypapayas No one looks silly attacking George W. Bush.

  • @Spicypapayas everyone attacks bush that does stand up

  • @Spicypapayas yeh a man who got us into a war, was a racist homophobic christian who ruined the economy and made countries around the world really hate us is good?? fuck george w bush

  • yeah this is has been real accurate. i think we can scratch patton oswalt off the physic list.

  • @indeepcontemplation he's as accurate as your pseudonym. Learn to spell TeaBagger

  • @JasonCovich of course reduce your argument to personal attacks instead of actual facts. I'm not even a tea party person. I'm just pointing out that this perception of Obama before he did anything was a little ridiculous. I don't think you could find any reasonable person in America who would say similar things now. I mean what has really changed? We're still in Iraq, still in Afghanistan, GITMO is still open, . and do we still have an economy?

  • @JasonCovich so yeah I would say this has not been accurate. but that doesn't matter you do does it? Drones like you have no facts. why do you just go watch some Obama videos and touch yourself you asshole.

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