I learn to Speak again - Becomming comfortable with myself

[gabrielietsanders]

i noticed that as long as i follow my thoughts, i actually cannot be honest with myself, because thoughts are like the 'story' that i have created about myself in my mind - it took me a long process of writing and disciplined breathing to realize this, before i could actually start being honest with myself

[Topenigma]

being honest with one's self is the hardest thing to be or do....this takes everything back to fundamentals....everything then becomes more real...more clear in the end....I don't think it's always possible for honesty to prevail though..sometimes I think honesty is just an ideal for us to aspire to, that it's not real....but I don't know...I'm not sure about that one...it's hard for me to define....like most things....and even if I knew clearly what it was, it would be even harder to maintain.

[Topenigma]

always an adjustment period with new experiences...that's to be expected...there's always anxiety or 'nervous' as you say....connected with the unfamiliar...fear of the unknown and all of that....but there's also other things involved in camtalks, the experience of being alone as an alternative to talking with the other(s) in person, this realisation of being alone forces U 2 confront U self right...also you may not value this way of communicating..it does not compensate for the real thing......

[gabrielietsanders]

i can only talk and express myself without supressing when i realize that i am indeed talking to myself - then the challenge is to be honest with myself

[Topenigma]

I understand just how intimidating it is to talk in front of a camera or even infront of others....you done well to put yourself out there....because I don't put myself out there physically......these ideas or perceptions you mentioned that you have that interfere with your sense of self-worth in public....I know this story....my whole life I have had ideas or perceptions that have caused me great anxiety and stress....it does help to talk about it...to write about it...to explore the experience

[gabrielietsanders]

it took me a while to get comfortable with talking to the camera, it's really strange if you look at it. Because its just me and i'm talking alone, then it is obvious that i am creating idea's and anticipations in my mind, that cause me to become nervous. The camtalks assisted me with speaking without thinking or fear, which is a revealing experience.

[NewNow4u]

Hi G!

 cool.

Adele

[andrewgable81]

Gabriel speaks

Nice Chat

[SpamAnn]

Hehe strange your scared of the camera :)I would never think that.

"neveeer eeveeerr " lol

I know that little panic signal. I have it when some people tlak to me . Depends on the person and how I judge the situation and what I think they expect of me