My Immortal- Harry Potter Fanfic Chp 1

[JustaKidXD]

she is the most stereotypical goth ever...since when r we all devil-worshipers? why would we all listen to the same bands? why would we flaunt our stereotypical t shirts that all just happen to be hanging in hot topic which APPARENTLY all of us goths go to!

and i hate vampires...

[basleanew]

This is terrible:

1. She was TWELVE when she wrote it.

2. She's dislexic.

3. She's HIGHLY self concious.

4. Finally, she is borderline personlity disorder.

There ya go.

[Zebracorna]

You comment on every other word! XD

[OpheliaBlackman]

I tried to read it, and... It hurt, it truly did hurt. Man, and I thought MY own fanfiction was bad! e___e It still is anyway xD

[irishpepsigurl]

I read some of My Immortal, just to see what it was. I can't stand how retarded the grammer looks there. My three year old brother could talk/write better than that! Nice commentary, by the way.

[Chennaigirl123]

I read some of it and was very disgusted.

[pikadsplode]

lympid means clear, transparent, or pellucid, as water, crystal, or air. so I guess she has transparent eyes...

[AyeAyes]

Nice commentary. I've seen many readings, but this is the first with commentary thrown in.

[shiikaa18]

"For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow" Yea... where I'm from, we call this halloween

[RaventailBlacktalon]

...forgot to mention, it can actually rain and snow at the same time. It does it here all the time.

[RaventailBlacktalon]

...I love you two <3

[fjyvnh]

Saton Porn o.o

[TaoJenChan]

*Kills the Mary Sue*

[kungfuactionjesus69]

Fkuking sweet...this girl...needs to die...the dudes reading are awesome...but this xXxebony Dark'ness dementia Raven WayxXx NEEDS TO HAVE HER HAIR CUT OF,SET ON FIRE AND SHOVED DOWN HER THROAT...this is something i wouldve written when I was 8 this girl is what? 17 apparently WTF

[amylee198]

its so funny though! xD

[ZRedPoppy]

LOL, Draco, SHY!! LOOOOOL XD

Oh God it's so sad she removed the fanfic I would have loved to read it like a thousand times.

[Jadicegirl]

Try ShadowLeggy's alternate account - she has a link where oyu can read the fic, I just read a few chapters.

[ZRedPoppy]

Yes thank you, my girl sent it to me!

[Jadicegirl]

Ah, good, you're welcome. Glad to hear it. I've noticed that some of this story has the greatest impact when it's read on screen, like the author's pleas for people not to flame her work. But it's really funny, all around. ;-p

[TheBlackTheatre]

You ask why she has, like, 3 middle names and is all in general pathertic. Vampire, bad fashion sense, etc... This is because she is a hideous thing called the disgusting Mary-Sue.

[narusasu444]

i think its actually stephanie meyers first book ever

[egdeltur666]

Really? She's got significantly worse over time.

I'm sorry, I mean tim.

[narusasu444]

i know right but we can see similar characters

[HelpCatIsMee]

@narusasu444 its too good for that

[TheonlyLast1]

Clicked the link and it didnt show. Why?

[shinybubble]

it's been deleted by the author.

[AsiaMAYS]

It's magical, it's Hogwarts! It's all magical!

xDD

I LOVE IT.

"Ooooh, your such a bad-ass!"

[Sumshine904]

AMAZING. XD

It's a shame the fanfiction was removed from the site.

I wanted to show my friend for the lulz. :c

[zoetherebel]

Hell no. You don't look like Amy Lee amy lee is hot as hell! OMG you guys rock!

[Ravenreel]

Thank you so much for making this. Serious.

[jade8491]

it soundz like he sayz porn XD XD XD

but he sayz Korn

[jade8491]

"MCR SUX...Porn rox!" XD

i love munki boi.

HAHA i love you you Squish.

"itz all MAGICAL"