How to make a Chuck Norris

[FacePlant34]

Justine Bieber is better than Chuck Faggot

[mortalkombatfan96]

god dosent existe god is chuck norris

[Velox415]

Chuck Norris is gay for Jesus and thinks Texas should succeed from the Union.

[quakeman00]

18 people died soon they pressed dislike button

[mortalkombatfan96]

chuck norris is like robocop batman in a blender

[thevoiceofreason94]

@mortalkombatfan96 UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR

[ZOMLUVER]

Chcuk Norris owns a zune like a boss

[HectorCotto97]

17 peaple dont know chuck XD

[Battle5tarRJC]

I wonder if Bruce Lee would work the same way...BRUCE LEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Hmmmmmm....

[DRAGOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN]

@Battle5tarRJC AH BRUCE LUIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!­!

....

maybe can work

[Jacob3221366]

they r still not safe from chuck norris

[themooseisontheloose]

17 people got roundhouse kicked by chuck norris

[catguns101]

lol

A CHUNK OF MY ASS

[megamanrocks99]

Chuck Norris once played Mortal Kombat.

He pulled of a fatality as soon as the round started.

[ssslasherassasin]

I dont get it the video sucks

[hauk93]

Chuck Norris doesn't have to remember it so you have to! Or else!

[13mungoman13]

Add black food colouring and you get Mr T.

[HectorCotto97]

16 peaple don't know chuck

[TheNeonIcing]

Let's replace all the world leaders, replace them with SantaChrist, Chuck Norris, Mr. Rogers, Bob Ross, and The Old Spice Guy.

[aqfitz1]

chuck norris dosnt swim, water just wants to be around him

[oree2]

AWESOME

[DaFinMonsta]

Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 minutes in 50 seconds.

[timsons7777]

You can't do it anymore, they patched it.

[HidanRules12]

Chuck norris can play russian rulet with a fully loaded revolver and win

[GutsyguyPrime]

The Leaning Tower of Pisa leans because Chuck Norris decided to poke it one day

[th3vampan3z3l0rd]

Chuck Norris the legend is awesome. Chuck Norris the actor... less so.

[1dalmation1]

man, Chuck Norris is stupid...oh someone's at the door brb

[sliverbullet1]

@1dalmation1 we may never see you again

[robElenor92]

nobody wons Chuck Norris, only Bruce Lee but... ¿who´s dead?

[crispo3000]

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door...

[Silverfishization]

you cant make Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris makes you.

[Hitmonchan107]

I named my toilet paper "Chuck Norris". I didn't flush it or throw it away, I simply mailed it to him. When he received it, it became the Bible.

I am the reason why Chuck is a Republican, Christian retard who hearts Huckabee.

[Hitmonchan107]

@igloogenius So what? Chuck Norris jokes wear me out. It's like he's a damn universal joke for every single internet comment.

Even Chuck himself dislikes the jokes now. He said something about heresy and idolizing him being against his beliefs.

[iamKibainuzuka001]

...AWKWARD!!!

[FranksWarJournal]

Chuck Norris and Mr. T once got into a fight. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Mr. T in the chest at the same time Mr. T punched Chuch Norris.

The result was the 1980s.

[pinballcentral]

chuck norris toilet paper = cheese graders

[SonofSivadas]

aaa chhhuuuuccckkkkkkk noooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr­rrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissss­ssss

[JillC2]

Chuck Norris is who directors get if their film isn't classy enough for Steven Segal

[thencaesarfalls]

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

[Megalodon64]

fake. nothing can create something as good as chuck norris

[anden21swe]

@Megalodon64 then how can he exist ?? :) he must have been created somehow since he cant have been born from a man and a woman!!!

[hombrematrix]

Crap, I dont find god.... now i will never have my desktop mini-chuck ;(

[bestshowontheweb]

When Chuck Norris goes camping, he doesn't sleep under the stars, the stars sleep under him.

[AntonyBlalock]

If you feed a gremlin after midnight, it turns into chuck norris

[TGWTheSunnies]

so funny

[TheMysteryGamer98]

8 people just got their ass kicked by Chuck Norris.

[Destro4thewin]

who can challenge God and get away with it???CHUCK NORRISS!!!!!!!!!Chuck NORRISSSSSS

[tokyopanda13]

There is no such thing as evolution. There are only the animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

[Snakecharmer95]

what review is this from

[Serpoo]

@Snakecharmer95

Please, read the description =)

[niclasbelrra]

AWESOME!!!

[13jasonvoorhees]

in the begining of time there was just 2 people god and Chuck Norris......

you don't see god around here anymore right?

[SimplePlanAtheist]

So if I put a porno, Passion of the Christ, and a Kung-Fu movie in a blender, would that make a Chuck Norris movie, or a bunch of broken DVD shards?

[luigiblox]

@SimplePlanAtheist no u get chuck norris

[luigiblox]

@SimplePlanAtheist no u get chuck norris i did it once and chuck norris busted out of my blender

[SimplePlanAtheist]

@luigiblox MY GOD MAN!!! ...what did he do after he destroyed your blender?

[luigiblox]

@SimplePlanAtheist he roundhoused kicked my door open and ran out

[BeatmasterAC]

once Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 48 people, then the grenade exploded

[XxGameadickxX]

hitler didn't killed himself, chuck norris went to his bunker and shot him in the head

[jdolaktv]

Chuck Norris doesn't appear in fighting games because if he did, whenever you selected him, you'd automatically win with the game saying "Player 2, you're fucked!"

[xXBlackXBulleTXx]

A CHUCKA NORIIIIIIIS

[Feliscar]

Chuck Norris doesn't need to type "power overwhelming" on Starcraft

[ThePhonyAccount]

Chuck Norris eats coal for breakfast and poops out diamonds by lunch.

[StonedBoo]

Chuck Norris doesn't teabag he POTATO SACKS!

[CapitanKurosaki]

I wonder what would happen if 2 Chuck Norris's fought each other.

[SharinganWarrior9]

@CapitanKurosaki THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!! XD

[MrJoeyCurtis]

@CapitanKurosaki There can be only one

[crazyj1894]

@CapitanKurosaki the world would explode from awesomeness and the only people would be chuck norris

[ARKO942]

Everytime Chuck Norris breathes a planet is created.

[philmcfc26]

what can i say bwt chuck norris....? there is too much so ill bring ma words dwn he's a knob

[DrgoFx]

Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

I'm so clever.

[iamthepkmmaster]

@KyleGibbons91 then his cereal must cost fortunes

[SamCohenoftheJews2]

Chuck Norris won the game.

[mike10031]

p.s. CHUCK NORRIS!

[dafranx]

Powerpuff GIrls is also based on a true story: Chuck Norris was roaming around in some crime-ridden city after roundhouse kicking some thugs who wanna mug his ass; then he found a trio of prostitutes waiting for johns to fuck for cash; Chuck Norris decides to take the trio somewhere to fuck, then he got those whores pregnant on purpose. The pimp knew what Chuck Norris did to his hos, so he grabbed his gun and started blasting Chuck Norris. continue>>>>>>>

[dafranx]

@dafranx >>>That pisses Chuck Norris so bad that he decides to roundhouse kick that pimp to oblivion. Meanwhile, those three prostitutes died while giving birth to three baby girls that can fly, have superhuman strength, and have superhuman powers; the doctor doesn't know who the fathers of their babies are, so the doctor registers those unnamed babies as illegitimate on their birth certificates, and decides to put those babies in a children's home(orphanage). (end of part. 2)

[dafranx]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris swallowed four turtle eggs, and then shat them out. Those four turtle eggs hatched and there are four baby turtles standing on two legs, babbling like any other human baby; those turtles grew up learning to speak English, do Martial Arts, and own Ninja weapons. We now know them as the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles".

[dafranx]

Chuck Norris knocked up a lotta automobiles including a few hybrids; those illegitimate kids of those vehicles are known as Autobots.

A CHUCK A NORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIS!

[ffox91]

aaaa chuck a nooorrisssssss

[severelyPWNED]

what episode is this from?

[metalgrunt400]

@severelyPWNED his review of sidekicks

[thunderstudent]

The only man who can beat Chuck Norris is Bruce Lee. Unfortunately Bruce is dead but his spirit lives on in Chuck

[validusalexander]

@thunderstudent it was the most expensive special effect in movie history.

[OrionoftheStar]

@thunderstudent No. Bruce Lee's spirit beat the shit out of Chuck, and now Chuck lives his life in fear that he'll die, and Bruce Lee will be waiting for him.

[GatlingPunchRalf]

@OrionoftheStar Bruce Lee only beat Chuck Norris after Chuck was given all known elephant tranquilizers, nightshade, and hydrocloric acid. Even then, Chuck had to act like it hurt.

[raidenkurosaki345]

@thunderstudent Hence why Chuck Norris is so awesome hahaha XD

[Ygdrasel]

@thunderstudent

Chuck is an old nobody. Bruce was actually worth something.

[Hitmonchan107]

@Ygdrasel Stone Cold > Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris respects women.

Stone Cold fucked Chuck's mom.

[Ygdrasel]

@Hitmonchan107

They're both worthless.

[TheUSASpy]

@thunderstudent actually bruce lee is basicly chucks father. but chuck can beat him. chuck was inspired by his father and then surpassed him by making his own fighting style which involved everything epic and powerful in one. he then gained basicly ultimate power and created god to take care of this dimension while hes off kicking ass and having more badass children like duke nukem and a few other badass people who are his children.

[clonetrooper250]

@thunderstudent Nah, Bill Nye could beat Cjuck anyday.

[themooseisontheloose]

@thunderstudent chuck norris killed bruce lee

[dafranx]

The spinich Popeye ate to beat the shit outta Bluto and other adversaries wasn't ordinary spinach; it was Chuck Norris spinach.

[henritje19]

if you where to take the same ingredients and put them in the same blender but add more karate sex and god you would get Segata Sanshiro

[man13y]

bruce lee beat him and is way better but chuck is awesome

[omastar444]

@man13y Bruce Lee may have beaten him but that was before he gained his beard or power.

[grildings]

A CHUCKA NORRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS

[megahappypinkskitty]

hellen keller's favorite color is chuck noris

[tokyopanda13]

Porn watches Chuck Norris.

[dafranx]

@tokyopanda13 Porn jacks off to Chuck Norris.

[dafranx]

Some guy says he wants to put up some TV Show of him saying that he's gonna beat the shit outta Chuck Norris; called "Man v. Chuck Norris". He got some promo of himself meeting Chuck Norris for a match, beating the shit outta him, and then do his victory dances and having babes hold him, while Chuck Norris is on the floor all bruised, sporting shiners and missing teeth, all bloodied up and spitting up blood. Do you think that promo's fake or not? Do you think that dude's stupid and suicidal?

[sweetblazincronic9]

@dafranx Both

[dafranx]

@sweetblazincronic9 What do you mean "Both"?

[sweetblazincronic9]

@sweetblazincronic9 You said "Do you think that dude's stupid and suicidal?" So I said both.

[RobinsTaste]

Chuck Norris was created from the Gods of the entire universe to defend us against dinosaurs, nature disasters, disasterdates and giant walrusses from outerspace.

[spaminatorz]

Chuck Norris ordered God to create the world, because he wanted to roundhouse kick things.

[xCombat1x]

@spaminatorz no.... when god said "shall there be light" chuck said "say please"

[RaceKing62]

I just have to do this:

Chuck Noris went on a flight with Virgin Atlanitic airlines. Immediatly afterwards, It was renamed just Atlantic Airlines. :D lol

[Aymblm]

@Justagenious xkcd dot com/351

[misterjack97]

Legend tells that there is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard, only another fist!

[bookheaven1000]

A CHUCKA NORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIS!

[zbradley1990]

men think it's okay for their wives to fantasize about Chuck Norris during sex because the men are doing the exact same thing.

[TheInunah]

There is only one known cure for AIDS: Chuck Norris' tears. It's too bad he's never cried.

[oldblubblub]

CHUCK NORRIS IS THE CURE FOR ALL DISEASES!!!!!!!

[ShinitaiHana]

Chuck norris sleeps with a night light... the dark is afraid of him

[Serpoo]

@sonohkong

It's just for the lulz

[CoreMarine]

@sonohkong because we can! just like everything else on the internet! just because we can!

[Palamag1]

Chuck norris sucks.......... Wait what's that ? OH MY GOD ! I REGRET EVERYTHING. I REGRET EVERYTHING NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. He punched out all my blood. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH for CHUCK SAKE LET ME OUT OF HERE. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

[sonic1602]

@Palamag1

hurray for tf2 quotes!

im going to gut you like a cornish MEDIC!

[MadNitroBooster]

If you say Chuck Norris 3 times front of the mirror he appears behind you and roundhousekick you.

[FlaschenJoe11]

There's just two things more powerful than Chuck Norris

1. Bruce Lee (self-destruction due to overpower)

2. Santa Christ (yeah, THAT Santa Christ)

[SoraFan24]

If you google "where is Chuck Norris" and hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button,you will get a Roundhouse kick to a face

[mosleyfin32]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.

[larrytaco]

Chuck Norris can kick you through a window without breaking the glass.

[brosiv12]

There is no such thing as global warming. When Chuck Norris is cold, he turns the sun up

[Paytonzane]

you cant make a chuck norris

chuck norris makes you

[therandomgamerguy]

i just came

[zainykiwi]

When Walker Texas Ranger aired in France, the french surrendered right away to Chuck Norris to be on the safe side.

[irelandcool1]

when chuck norris farts its so stinky and strong that it blows bulidings away and trigger nuclear bombs to go off and he causes people to become farty monsters

[Ryz999]

Such a 12 year old comment -_-

[MEGASTE100ify]

@irelandcool1 wierdo

[mosleyfin32]

Happy Birthday Chuck!

[MrGamefreak197]

Chuck knows everything there is to know-exept mercy.

[MrGamefreak197]

Chuck Norris can't die. The combination of God, Sex, and Kung Fu make hime immortal!

[demonking55]

when Chuck norris dies he dosen't become apart of the earth, the earth becomes apart of him

[RobtimusPrime09]

Chuck Norris doesn't jump, he just pushes the Earth down a little with his feet.

[PirateNaziZombie]

I must find god, sex and kung fu now.

[xiL15]

when superman squeezes a limb of coal it turns in to a diamond but when chuck norris squeezes a limb of coal it turns in to a afrikan child who works i one of chuck norris diamond mines

[CyclonicDeath]

LOL these comments are awsome!

[RaizingArizona]

there is no theory of evolution. just a list of creatures only chuck norris has allowed to live.

[MrNonzi]

In an average room Chuck Norris can kill you in 27 different way including using the whole room

[cluckeythe2]

chuck norris can have just one lays chip.

[wtfan]

Christopher Reeves really did have Superman powers, but decided to mock Chuck Norris. He spent the remainder of his life in a wheelchair.

[zbradley1990]

When he was denied breakfast at Mcdonalds because it was 10:35, Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked the place so hard it became a Wendy's

That'll show'em

[zbradley1990]

Chuck jumped out of an airplane and landed on Hiroshima and Nagasaki

[Killerbobcats]

Chuck Norris once had a brand of toilet paper, but it wouldent take shit from anybody

[mariorocks64]

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he isn't pushing himself up. He's pushing the Earth down!

[Drouge87]

I fucking love these comments XD

[khatholic]

Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.

[Bizarroking101v2]

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

[KokiriRichy]

chuck norris can touch mc hammer

[bug619]

Only two things can cut diamond; other diamonds and Chuck Norris.

[RPGFreak90]

The leading brands of sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9% of germs.

Chuck Norris can kill 101% of whatever the hell he wants!

[theninja0508]

Chuck dont cheat death. he cheats eksistens!

[Ioupopio]

Chuck Norris watches the Watchmen

[Mrpwnage2244]

Chuck Norris KNOWS Victoria's secret.

A CHUCKA NORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!

[darkjim123]

Chuck Norris is so cool he rkilled himself and everyone cheered

[mosleyfin32]

Chuck Norris once took a trip to the Virgin Islands. When he came back, they were renamed The Islands.

[henkdeveroveraar]

chuck norris can keep prince mini stars for him self. (for those of you who arent from the netherlands, ministars are cookies.)

[animalpolice]

Haha XD

[jwah1411]

Under chuck norris' beard there is no chin, just another fist.

[ThePhantomGamer]

Chuck Norris' newest movie is just him sitting on a chair for two hours. It made $200 Million just on opening day

[therealmadmaxx]

God created Earth in 6 Days and he took 5 days to make Chuck norris

[RangeTE17]

chuck noris doesnt read books, he just stares them down until he gets his information

[angel777lucifer]

Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can walk on jesuses