wow that poem was short but powerful .. kind of reminds me of what im going through now have someone thats ignoring me but i guess they don't see that im really crying out to them wish i could express my feelings through poetry like you ...thanks for posting it
What a strong poem. You can feel all the raw energy put in it; the parallelism as a sign of multiple feelings at one time, concentrating in the end. Great, really!
The one line reminds me of "I reach but I feel only air at night" from Farther Away (Evanescence) (but maybe I'm only evanescencising the poem, sorry!)
Once again, thank you for your comments, I truely appreciate them! As to the Evanescence song you refered to, well I don't listen to them so I don't think I have ever heard it before. Though I did look it up out of curiousity and I noticed that song was released in 2004. My poem was written in 2001.. so even if I had heard it, I am sure I wasn't subconsciously channeling another artist's work. Not that you implied that I had, like I said I was mearly curious as to what you were refrencing. =)
Yikes! The strongest part for me has got to be "I want you to cry out for a friend and have no one be there." I know how it feels to be so bitter toward someone that you want them to feel that kind of loneliness that they make you feel. But often the problem is that they're not the kind of person who "cries out for a friend" in the first place... and likewise, they're not the kind of person who knows what to do when a friend cries out for them.
Thanks, I am glad you liked it. Yes, even though they may not be the kind of person who would cry out for a friend, it doesn't stop you from wishing that if they did there would be no one left to hear them. Thanks again for your comments. =)
Intense. The description is necessary to understand where you were coming from; I am sure that it takes a lot for you to feel so violent and/or vengeful, and I am ever so glad that you were able to escape that pattern of abuse quickly. It takes time away from it to realize that you were blaming yourself, when it was not your fault. Again, sooooooo glad you got away from that.
Thank you so much for your comments. I felt that this poem would seem a bit harsh if the situation had not been explained. This poem is so raw because I just let out what was inside and put it onto paper. It only took a few minutes to write, and I have not edited it since.
I was in a horrible place then, but even now years later it is still healing to share this with people. I am so much stronger now after getting through it. Oh, and I also believe in karma (and the court system).. he has his own hell to get through now. =)
This was amazing, it gave me crazy giggles.
direhope 4 years ago
once again ,this was great!
5dolphingirl 4 years ago
i understand you feel cos i have been in the same problem. and no one ever understands you how you feel inside if your begin abused by some1.
fablizegirl 4 years ago
wow that poem was short but powerful .. kind of reminds me of what im going through now have someone thats ignoring me but i guess they don't see that im really crying out to them wish i could express my feelings through poetry like you ...thanks for posting it
trina1126 4 years ago
What a strong poem. You can feel all the raw energy put in it; the parallelism as a sign of multiple feelings at one time, concentrating in the end. Great, really!
The one line reminds me of "I reach but I feel only air at night" from Farther Away (Evanescence) (but maybe I'm only evanescencising the poem, sorry!)
Redfrettchen 5 years ago
Once again, thank you for your comments, I truely appreciate them! As to the Evanescence song you refered to, well I don't listen to them so I don't think I have ever heard it before. Though I did look it up out of curiousity and I noticed that song was released in 2004. My poem was written in 2001.. so even if I had heard it, I am sure I wasn't subconsciously channeling another artist's work. Not that you implied that I had, like I said I was mearly curious as to what you were refrencing. =)
fourtwenty420 5 years ago
Yikes! The strongest part for me has got to be "I want you to cry out for a friend and have no one be there." I know how it feels to be so bitter toward someone that you want them to feel that kind of loneliness that they make you feel. But often the problem is that they're not the kind of person who "cries out for a friend" in the first place... and likewise, they're not the kind of person who knows what to do when a friend cries out for them.
Anyway, good poem!
ontheconcourse 5 years ago
Thanks, I am glad you liked it. Yes, even though they may not be the kind of person who would cry out for a friend, it doesn't stop you from wishing that if they did there would be no one left to hear them. Thanks again for your comments. =)
fourtwenty420 5 years ago
Intense. The description is necessary to understand where you were coming from; I am sure that it takes a lot for you to feel so violent and/or vengeful, and I am ever so glad that you were able to escape that pattern of abuse quickly. It takes time away from it to realize that you were blaming yourself, when it was not your fault. Again, sooooooo glad you got away from that.
lisasimpson 5 years ago
Thank you so much for your comments. I felt that this poem would seem a bit harsh if the situation had not been explained. This poem is so raw because I just let out what was inside and put it onto paper. It only took a few minutes to write, and I have not edited it since.
fourtwenty420 5 years ago
I was in a horrible place then, but even now years later it is still healing to share this with people. I am so much stronger now after getting through it. Oh, and I also believe in karma (and the court system).. he has his own hell to get through now. =)
fourtwenty420 5 years ago