... and me being attracted at alien like women with big tits and hefty ass, little wobbly belly and big eyes, long hair and legs(not fat, nor muscular... fit). Also, the ones who knows how to move seducing and specially, no able to talk... at all. Juicy red lips, long pink tongue. That kind of babe would make my day, but i have no clue what sexuality it makes me. Still hetero i guess cause i want to fck her, not eat, not harm, not to make sad or feeling scared. A perfect friend with benefits.
@Be4TinGyoU Piss off. Polygamists are greedy. Just because I am attracted to both men and women does not signify greed. Are straight or gay people who are attracted to black and white people greedier than those who just prefer one or the other? No. Are people who like both vanilla and chocolate ice cream greedy? No! They just have a wider range of tastes. Having a wider range of sexual partners to choose from is not greedy. Trying to have more than one sexual partner IS greedy.
:) This is an awesome video. Thank you for setting it that way, there's nothing wrong with who you're attracted to as long as you're not faking it! :D
@MaggieHaggis True. And of the videos I've seen, the vast majority of comments are all "oh that's not real", "they were probably abused", "they just have a hormone deficiency".. etc. that kind of crap.
@GreatProcrastinator I know! It is unbelievable. And you wouldn't believe the amount of people I have to explain to that I can't reproduce by myself :/
@MaggieHaggis Ugh, I hate that one... they always say it like a smartass too. I mean come on, words can mean more than one thing.. the word 'gay' is a great example because it concerns sexuality as well.
And the only good videos that I've found on here about asexuality have been from; 'swankivy' .
@GreatProcrastinator Hmm, I shall have to search this name :) You probably won't believe this one though. Lately, one of my friend-acquaintances were bugging me about 'going out' with someone. I had simply had enough of this at that time and decided to tell her what an asexual was, her having never even heard of the biological term. After explaining that I felt no sexual attraction towards males, females or any gender( I also explained aromantic as I am that as well but I needed to add the
@GreatProcrastinator explained part on and it's not entirely relevant to this conversation) she asked, rather loudly I might add, "So you like he-shes?" The amount of things wrong with that statement I don't know where to start. The use of the word "he-she", the using of it as an insult when one of my transgender friends were near by, the misunderstanding of what I meant, ARGHHHH!!!!! People :/
@MaggieHaggis I hear ya! I'm aromantic as well. Friendship is the most I can give anyone.. on my end a friend; friend A(who I explicitly told that I wasn't interested in anyone) helped to ruin me and friend B's friendship by pushing them to ask me out.. I said "no, I don't wanna waste your time" and I'm Hitler now.)
@GreatProcrastinator Ah, that's annoying. My two close friends, one of which being transgender, are both very accepting, though the non-transgender one did mix up what asexual and aromantic meant with each other, they were generally very easy to tell
@MaggieHaggis And I'm pretty sure that "he-she" is a horrible insult to the transgendered.. I just hope that she said it out of ignorance rather than malice.. and did your other friend hear her? Or were they thankfully out of range?
This is an interesting topic. I've always thought that bisexuality doesn't exist. I've never stated it publicly, but I've always thought that bisexuality was a way of avoiding being gay. I know that a gay person can find a different gender attractive, but they don't find them sexually attractive, and vice versa. Now that you've loaded this video, I now believe that bisexuals exist. Thanks for educating me.
@jamesedwardtheobald grey area is great. i might be puzzling to some since i like women most and have passing and limited interest in men. discreet about it, but if i met a sweetie like ZJ around here, i might consider ending being discreet...
Well said, though I haven't ran into that one. I mostly hear "there's no such thing as lesbains""I can lay any lesbain", ect. It's rather annoying >_<
Thank you. Thank you alot. Personally, I tend to say that straight and gay ppl aren't really after "men" or "women" but after "Alicia Springs" or "Bob Meyer", no one has their GF/BF just because said partner is a man or a woman. They just choose their partners from the pool of one sex because they don't really "see" the other one that way just like they don't see anything about their moms. Being bi just means you choose an individual - exactly like straight or gay ppl - but from the pool of all
compatible (in terms of looks, personality, interests etc) people regardless of gender/without gender factoring into "compatible-ness". It's like being fine with both blonde and red hair or just not caring which one it is. In the end, we all love people, not "men" or "women".
I agree its stupid to tell them to just pick one. Now I have to admit I did think that because we live in a hetrosexual identified society I believed that they could just choose to be hetrsexual but I realized that this is no more true for them than it is for me.
A pet peeve of mine is assuming that a one night stand defines sexuality. For example, a fictional female character who had several relationships with men suddenly had a one night stand with a woman and everyone--including CNN who reported on it for some baffling reason--assume that the heroine is now gay and could never go back to men.
I really should have had an "Action" catagory in my survey.
Maybe next time, and next time it will be % Same Sex / % Opposite Sex., because you are after all right. The Term "Gay" is more of an identity, where as "Same/Opposite" more reflects feelings. So, you have a valid point.
@Gordaton - "Age is a fifth aspect, in my opinion."
Is it Age, or is it Time, and is that a distinction even worth making? It think it is time, over time we refine ourselves and our view of ourselves. We become more informed and more refined, and as such our sexuality, or our attitude toward our sexuality, changes.
If we assume more are bi, then at various times, living in various location, the objects of our desire change. In this sense, there is an environmental factor involved as well.
@blueboyblue Hmm, I think it is age, as you explained: "over time we refine ourselves." That would appear to equate moreso with age (at least if we are speaking of identity).
What I mean by is it Age or is it Time, is that I can see people changing with the passage of time and the changing of circumstances, but I don't see those changes in attitude and actions as being associated with a specific chronological age, more so with the passing of time.
Admittedly, I'm taking your point to a pretty fine edge. But Age vs Time is something to think about.
@blueboyblue I really do appreciate that you understand now where I'm coming from. At some point, I'll post a video on bisexuality. That should hopefully clear up any confusion for other people who might not be aware of this perspective.
You've made you points well, and have done so in a very civil fashion for something you feel so strongly about. That is certainly to be admired.
I'm curious what you think of my idea, that by your definition, virtually every living person would have to fall into the catagory of Bisexual? Whether you feel that a valid interpretation or not, you have to admit their is a grain of truth to it.
I also reiterate that sexuality must comprise 3 aspects - Attraction, Action, and Self-Identity.
Sorry, been busy with Pride coming up. Indeed, I'm the likely only person that objected to the survey's terminology. That only reinforces my prior arguments: people have been brainwashed to accept the status quo. There are few vocal proponents of bisexuality -- certainly in marked contrast to the lesbian and gay liberation movements of the past half-century. Most bi people rarely uphold the virtues of their sexuality when challenged; they merely accept ignorance and intolerance without question.
@blueboyblue I feel the only way to guarantee bisexual visibility is to avoid direct or indirect dismissive language. Gay and straight, altho common shorthands, IMO should only convey self-identification (I've elaborated my reasons previously). Keep in mind, I only stated that bi, gay, str8 (as identities) are mutually exclusive. I didn't "define" bi nor suggest that it's a predominant sexuality. Basically, at any given time it is not logical to self-identify as straight and gay simultaneously.
I really do understand your point, & was well aware that your opposition was to the use of "gay" / "straight" as opposed to 'Same sex' / 'Opposite sex', but as you also know, in Internet communication, one uses the briefest for possible.
And you are the only person so far, out of about 1200 people who answered & many more who viewed, who felt compelled to make the distinction.
As you explain your position, I agree, or at least understand the perspective.
@blueboyblue Just to clarify, I'm not suggesting you are ignorant or intolerant. Just citing reasons why most bi identified people do not have the impetus to convey such concerns or frustrations. I suspect some don't care. But likely others in fact DO care but lack the depth of knowledge on sexuality because the only "Sex Ed" they receive is from the highly biased gay media. Hence, my ongoing point why bisexuality must have no implied subordinate dependence on either gay or straight.
I do see your point and understand where you are coming from. I understand that you nitpick at my choice of phrase, but I think you are doing so in a way that ignores my point and purpose.
NONE THE LESS, I see an understand your point based on YOUR definition.
Deep apologies for continuing this discussion, I think I might have a touch of OCD.
I really do see your point, but I think by using that definition, you are casting such a broad net, that virtually every living person MUST be classified as BiSexual.
That is something I agree with. I think Bisexuality spans a HUGE spectrum of the population, but social convention & pressure force people to deny that aspect of themselves. Pressure forces people to place themselves in an absolute catagory.
@blueboyblue I think once you reread my earlier post, understanding that I am referring to mutual exclusivity (not exclusivity, as I already conceded in that debate that we simply have differing opinions) my argument will gain some clarity. Once again, I'm sorry there have been so many ongoing barriers in understanding one another. Sometimes without visual aids, it's difficult to explains these concepts readily.
I think we have both made our points well, &hopeful well enough that those reading can see & understand both side independent of whether they or we agree or not.
I will re-make one last point, % Same Sex / % Opposite Sex Attraction is about just that Attractions, not identity.
I could have added one more question to the survey, & that would have been to allow people to define their Action independent of attraction - % Same Sex Activity / % Opposite Sex Activity & perhaps % Mono-sex activity.
@blueboyblue It appears the only singular issue that resulted in so many pages of debate was your survey's use of "gay" and "straight" as labels to characterize people's same vs. opposite sex attraction. Gay and straight, in American culture have a very discernable polarizing connotation, even if there may be some colloquial variations. Trying to force a bisexual identified person to characterize their attractions using these two terms is unjustified and presumptuous. Hope that clarifies.
@blueboyblue Once we go down that road of superfluously promoting a "bi is half-gay" stereotype, it leads to the popular misconceptions of bisexuality. Myth #1: If bi is half-gay, then bisexuality itself doesn't exist. There is only gay and str8. Myth #2: If bi is half-gay, then bi people are on the road to becoming gay. Myth #3: If bi is half-gay, then bi people are greedy and want to be str8 and gay at the same time. Denoting attraction as a "percentage of gay" is an impediment to the cause.
Damn it I have a friend whose brother recently came out as bi and his dad is being a close minded ass about it, saying that he "needs help" and should force himself to like girls and whatnot, this video would be perfect to show him but he would be so close minded about seeing a guy with lipstick and earrings :(
You seem to take the stand that Gay means Exclusive, but 'exclusive' what? Attractions? Actions? Self-definition? As defined by doctors and psychologists? As defined by law? As defined by surveys that have a biased predetermined conclusion? As defined by surveys that make an effort to be fair and balanced?
I'm not sure what your definition is, but I prefer to let people tell me who they are, and to not argue with their conclusions.
@blueboyblue I will try to explain again. There are three categories of sexuality: gay, bi, and straight (there are many more, but for sake of simplicity). These categories are mutually exclusive. People will select one of those categories to identify themselves. They can just as easily serve as a definition for attractions or actions. But that does not give you the right to use those terms to forcibly characterize anybody's sexuality, including their actions and attractions.
"There are three (mutually exclusive) categories of sexuality: gay, bi, and straight.... "
Here is where we don't agree. Again, Exclusive vs Predominant. You are free to use the definition if you wish, & for you, that makes it right. But I personally don't think many will agree.
By your definition, independent of anyone's self-definition, 98% (Illustrative) of people are BI. And within your definition that is right. But I don't think that definition is universal accepted.
@blueboyblue You are misunderstanding. I stated the that the three categories are mutually exclusive, NOT exclusive. There is a very important distinction. Being "mutually exclusive" with respect to one another does not inhibit a person from identifying with any category they wish nor does it convey that any one category takes precedence nor does it suggest specific properties of either category (it's completely unrelated to the argument of exclusive vs. predominant attractions, actions, etc.).
@blueboyblue To put it simply, if you desire to allow people tell you who they are then you must select terms that allow them to do so without prejudice. To only provide options allowing a bi person to define how they act and feel in the framework of two supposedly "superior sexualities" is not letting them tell you who they are. That is YOU telling them who they are. To proclaim that same-sex attractions of any % degree are dependent on and subject to "gayness" is presumptuous and disparaging.
I do understand what you are fighting for, & commend you for it.
I think you are being too ridged in your definition of BI. You are trying to force a definition on people who already have a well defined Self-Definition.
What if your attractions are 99% Same / 1% Opposite, are you forbidding them from calling themselves Gay? Are YOU forcing the preference of BI onto them?
It seems, by self-definition 30%/70% - 70%/30% is the threshold where people will identify as Bi.
@blueboyblue On the contrary, I do not think I am being at all rigid. In fact, I stated previously that I encourage people to define themselves however they please. What I take issue with is when OTHER people try to define my sexuality. I am bi. I am attracted mostly to girls. However, I have only had encounters with men. If you ask about my tendencies, I would tell you that I am 0% gay and 0% straight. That is because I am not "gay", nor do I want to be forced to label my attractions as "gay".
In the context of the Survey, the second question is NOT about %Gay identity, but about same sex attractions, which I assume we must agree comes in varying degrees.
Next, attraction and action are not the same thing. A gay virgin has well defined attraction, but no action to back it up.
What about a BI by attraction, whose actions are exclusively one or the other? Are they defined by their attractions, their actions, or their own self-definition?
@blueboyblue I realize the question is not about identity. Please reread my post below. You claim the terms "gay" and "straight" are not an absolute measurement of attraction (i.e. "gay" according to you means "predominantly same-sex attraction" ). Hence, these terms cannot be used to classify relative attractions to either sex because there is no longer a static point of reference. Instead of "Gay" being an absolute, it is now completely subjective. Hence 30% gay 70% straight loses all meaning.
I do see your point, but obviously, I don't agree.
"20% gay 80% straight" is not about identity, as you seem to want it to be, it is about ATTRACTION. Bi are attracted to same & opposite, but do we assume that is always 50/50? Not likely. They are attracted to each, to varying degrees.
So, the survey is not about %gay vs %straight, but rather measure the degree of attraction to various partners.
The NEXT Section, allows people to define themselves by specific categories.
@blueboyblue I think you are missing my point again. I stated that you are forcing people to define their attractions based on comparisons to other sexualities. A person who self-identifies as bisexual is not gay, nor are they predisposed to have gay tendencies. However, they might have same-sex attractions of varying degrees. And they might even have an encounter with a same-sex partner. To characterize any bisexual as acting "gay" (actions) or feeling "gay" (tendencies) is an offense.
Sorry to ramble on, I'm certainly not picking on you. You've been very civil, and I hope I've been the same.
But let's take ZJ as an example. A guy who dresses somewhat like a girl, has called himself gay, but has a girlfriend; do I or you get to define him? No, I don't think so.
He is who and how he identifies himself, and who is to say he is wrong? And you are right, that can change over time. At any time, he knows him better than we do, and better than a survey does.
@blueboyblue I think we will have to agree to disagree. I strongly believe based on testimony of gay friends, coworkers, etc. who would vehemently contest your defining their sexuality as a "predominant" rather than an "exclusive" attraction. That connotation only encourages obfuscation rather than clarification of sexual identity. It also further marginalizes bisexuality as being entirely dependent on and subordinate to both gay and straight, rather than a legitimate sexuality of its own.
I think you are right, we do have a dispute of semantics. But keep in mind many gay men have had sex with women, does that mean they are disallowed from calling themselves Gay?
"Gay" does not necessarily mean EXCLUSIVELY Same Sex, it mean predominantly Same Sex.
My conclusion about those who start by claiming they are BI, only to later identify as Gay IS NOT a conclusion from the Survey, it is a conclusion from life experience and personal testimonials.
@blueboyblue If a man who previously had sexual encounters with a woman, now identifies as "gay" that could be for any number of reasons, even one of self-discovery. But that does not demand a redefinition of our terminology. It simply reinforces that sexuality can change throughout one's life. As I've stated, people have the right to define themselves. Your survey precludes that option, imposing "boxes" that only permit people to define their OWN sexuality in relation to OTHER sexualities.
Sorry a few corrections, below should be "20% Same Sex Tendencies and 80% OPPOSITE Sex Tendencies. Sexuality is about who you are attracted to, and is spans a spectrum.
"Gay" means Same Sex, but it doesn't necessarily mean exclusively Same Sex. You can define that as Bi and not Gay, but I prefer to let people define themselves, and isn't that specifically what you are fighting for? To not be defined by the opinions of others?
@blueboyblue Yet your survey is unduly defining people by focusing the entirety of its selection criteria on "gay vs straight" characteristicts. As I've stated, this may not invite "confusion" per se, but it promulgates the unsconscionable myth that bi-identified people are merely "half gay". That is not helping to legitimize bisexuality. It is in fact reinforcing an outdated cultural stereotype and promoting the deleterious notion that gay and straight are classifiably superior to bi.
My survey recognizes these varying degrees of attraction. It is not 100%/0%, 50%/50%, & 0%/100%. Sexuality is more complex than that.
That is also why there is a gradient scale for Tendencies, & specific categories for Self-Identification. I fall into a spectrum on the Tendencies Scale that could & should put me in the BiSexual catagory, & some might force that label on me, but I choose to self-identify as gay. So, who is right? Me or the people who would force a catagory on me?
@blueboyblue Understand I am not questioning the complexity of sexuality. After all, I am bisexual with a variety of paraphilias, and I have been reading about sexology since high school. How people self-identify is their own prerogative. That is not at issue. But if the ultimate goal is to increase bi-visibility, then it cannot be accomplished until we acknowledge that gay, straight, and bi are each mutually exclusive categories and that tendencies are based on same and opposite sex attraction.
I think we are more on the same page than it seems, and are really in a discussion of semantics. We agree that Bi is made up of attractions to both same and opposite sex. We agree that those attraction are to a different degree in different people. We differ slightly on whether Gay means exclusive or predominant. Still that is a small point to debate.
But we do both agree that Bisexuality is not a phase, that it is a very real, logical, & distinct form of sexuality.
@blueboyblue Sorry, but semantics are the primary issue of contention with bi-visibility. As a Western culture, our propensity to define all sexual behavior in reference to gay vs straight, is why many people dismiss bisexuality as subordinate to these identities. Also bear in mind, as I implied above, sexuality is not a spectrum. And hence why tendencies cannot be categorized as "gay or straight".
Though I don't want to start another argument, I would say that if we use the strictest definitions of Gay and Straight. Then a vast and substantial majority of the world is Bisexual, whether they choose to act on or acknowledge those feelings or not.
@blueboyblue Yes, and if you review Alfred Kinsey's research, he devoted the vast majority of his scale -- five points in fact -- to bisexuality. If you truly believe that sexuality is a spectrum (I personally do not, but that is an entirely different discussion), then you'll understand why even Kinsey himself acknowledged the "problem" of most people being bisexual decades ago in his research. However, he also recognized that sexuality changes with time which partially mitigated that "problem".
@blueboyblue To further my point and finally put closure on this debate consider that below you argue that gay means "predominantly same sex attraction". If that is the case, how can it serve as a definitive attribute to analyze people's tendencies? That renders the metric of "20% gay 80% straight" useless as the very meanings of gay and straight, as you purport, are variable rather than absolute. Thus neither can be used to classify sexuality-relationships without a static point of reference.
Keep in mind, there is limited space for explanation in the survey. I hardly consider this a scientific survey, more general interest.
Saying 20% Gay / 80% Straight Tendencies has been interpreted by everyone but you as 20% Same Sex Tendencies/Attractions & 80% Same Sex Tendencies/Attractions. "Gay" is just a shorthand way of saying 'Same Sex'.
We agree that sexuality is a spectrum, if you have BiSexual tendencies then you are attracted to both sexes, but to varying degrees.
@blueboyblue But this is the very problem I am trying to convey. Gay is not a shorthand for same sex attraction. Take same-sex marriage, for example. You may have two people in a long-term, committed relationship. But if both partners are bi-identified, they do not "become gay" simply because they can only express sexual tendencies with their same-sex partner. Interpretation is not the problem. This is a question of promulgating a misconception and why phrases like "gay marriage" are a faux pas.
While there are a very small group of people who come out as bisexual as a transition phase to admitting they are gay, that doesn't change anything.
That small group does not invalidate that common logic and the diversity of life that dictates that Bisexuality is real, and not only real, but very reasonable.
Just as some ask, How can their be gay people, I reply with, how can their not. The same with Bisexuals, some can't fathom the concept, but it is perfectly reasonable.
@blueboyblue Your support of bisexuality is honorable, don't get me wrong. But please realize that I am very outspoken when people attempt to extrapolate unverified information from limited data on sexuality surveys, case studies, etc. Your survey is useful for analyzing general relationships between tendencies, actions, and identities, but it does not allow you to determine personal motivations, nor trends over a course of time. To do so is, in fact, highly deceptive.
I also realize you are a strong advocate on sexual issues, & praise to you. But Sexuality does not come in 3 categories - gay, straight, and bi. It is very much a spectrum. So saying you are BI does not mean your attractions are 50/50. My survey indicates that people whose Tendencies run from 30% Gay / 70% Straight up to 70% Gay / 30% Straight self-identify as Bi.
@blueboyblue It appears the source of confusion here is the language. The survey apparently figures a percentage "gay vs straight" for tendencies, but that promulgates the myth that sexuality is black-vs-white. The terminology I would recommend is "same-sex vs opposite-sex attraction" which obviates this potential for confusion. Attraction and identification are two separate concepts. I'm sure you'd agree.
By the number of times, I've had far more sex with women, but by the number of people, I've had sex with more men. So what am I?
The answer is YOU can't tell me what I am. Only I CAN TELL YOU.
That is why I put the question in a spectrum, rather than in absolutes. I would place myself in the roughly 80%G / 20%S to 70%G to 30%S catagory. Obviously my male-to-male tendencies are stronger, so I would probably call myself gay. BUT, I could just as easily call myself BI.
AlterPride (apologies for getting your name wrong),
This is confusing because Actions don't conform to Tendencies, & neither are guaranteed to conform to Self-Identity. Again, consider the concept of a gay virgin. How can someone who is not sexual (sexually active) be classified in a sexual catagory. Answer: Because it is not about action, it is about tendencies, which are explained as feelings and urges.
Further some people act against type. EG: Gay womanizers in denial about who he is.
As to the "Essay" issue ... seriously? When was the last time you ever saw or were involved in a poll that allowed any free-form explanation. At best, you get to answer the questions asked in simple Yes or No, or A, B, C, or D.
But, I at least made an effort to let people Self-Identify, rather than forcing my conclusion on them.
From the data in my survey, it appears if your sexual feeling are in the range 30%Gay/70%Str up to 70%Gay/30%Str, you self-identify as Bisexual.
@blueboyblue I'm sorry, but I'm not convinced. As you have pointed out, the lack of an essay question, does not allow you to draw any conclusions about people's motives. Yet nonetheless you drew some remarkably detailed conclusions about bisexual people in your prior post: "Identifying as BiSexual, says 'it's OK Dad, I still like girls'. That is, a percentage who do self-identification as BI, do so as a transition phase to eventually declaring themselves as gay."
Just because I mentioned a survey, does not mean everything I say is drawn from that survey. The "It's OK Dad, I still like girls" is something that I have observed in real life, and not something drawn from my small and limited survey. Many people have come out & admitted they came out as BI before they came out as Gay.
BUT MY POINT IS, the existance of this small group of people does NOT deny the very real & valid existance of BI-Sexual people. I'm advocating FOR Bi-Sexuals.
@blueboyblue I believe you are misunderstanding my only issue of contention. I was pointing out that you cannot derive conclusions from the survey, where the survey itself does not provide the means to obtain the supporting data for those conclusions. For example, it was speculation to ascertain that a small sampling of respondents who identified as "bi" are gay. That requires a sampling over a course of time or some other evidence.
You misunderstand me. There are those who claim that "bisexual" people are 'just confused', 'in denial', 'unwilling to admit they are gay'. They are denying the concept of 'bisexual'.
What I am saying is that there is a small percentage that are all those things, but that DOESN'T change the fact that sexuality is a spectrum, it is not pure black and white, & BISEXUALITY is a very real, logical, & reasonable.
You seem to respond with antagonism, when I'm trying to be supportive.
@blueboyblue I am sorry to sound antogonistic. It is admittedly very discouraging whenever I convey to you the same question, you seem to keep avoiding it. Whether or not actions conform to tendencies is irrelevant. What matters is identity. If a group of gay people self-identified as bi, then they cannot be gay. Your willfully classifying them as gay based on some anonymous survey data, is "thrusting an identity upon them." That is my objection.
@blueboyblue Just so you know I do appreciate the explanation; and I don't doubt your motivations. I only questioned the survey not you. I was simply trying to convey that while advocating for bisexuality, it would be more beneficial if we avoid phraseology like "40% straight and 60% gay". It reinforces the misconception that bisexuality is dependent on gay and straight. It also suggests that bisexuality is the result of being "half-gay" (i.e. gay tendencies). I hope you understand my concerns.
Identifying as BiSexual, says 'it's OK Dad, I still like girls'. That is, a percentage who do self-identification as BI, do so as a transition phase to eventually declaring themselves as gay.
But, the existance of this group of people in no way mitigates the reality that there are people fully capable of being attracted to either gender.
The claim, "you just can't admit your are gay' is true of a limited number of people. But that limited number shouldn't define everyone identified as BI.
@blueboyblue I don't see an "essay" option in the survey that permits respondents to explain their motives for identification. As I've already elucidated, our culture is vastly under-educated about bisexuality. So the benefit of coming out to parents of another generation, who've likely never even been exposed to the concept and who's only source information on the subject is the misguided media is highly dubious. Also, per my previous comment, the survey does not even consider age as a factor.
The purpose of the Survey is to allow people to SELF-IDENTIFY, & not have an identity thrust upon them. That's why the second question is not Gay, Bi, Straight. It is 0%/100%, 10%/90%, 20%/80% up to 100%/0%, & inquires about "feelings, urges, desires, fantasies, stimulation, & attractions that are ... sexual in nature, & may or may not include actual sexual activity". You can have feelings without having action & action without feelings. Followed by self-definition based on 7 categories.
@blueboyblue If the purpose of the survey is to allow people to self identify then that still does not explain how you determined that "a small group of gay people identify as bisexual". How can you proclaim that they are gay if they clearly identified as bisexual. That invalidates the purpose of the survey, notwithstanding your personal opinions of bisexual identification. You just "thrust an identity" on that group of people for no reason.
There is a small group who are gay, but at the moment identify as bisexual. For this small group, coming out as Bi allows them to admit same sex attraction, without fully committing themselves.
But, this small group has nothing to do with people who really are Bisexual. True bisexual are just that fully capable of being attracted to either sex.
However, for the small group I mentioned, calling themselves bisexual is something of a political move, it softens the blow to parents and friends.
@blueboyblue That is a valid point, but I find it curious why anybody would want to openly identify as "bi" in order to mitigate any perceived social opposition or inequity. Bisexuality is a stigma. Many people do not even understand the term. So I do not believe it would be an "obvious choice" to divert attention from the issue. Noticeably absent from your survey, is that of age. Young people frequently identify as bisexual, as a curiosity. But adults are far more confident in their identity.
@blueboyblue Okay, I wasn't notified of these followup responses. So if I understand correctly the small group of "gay people" I inquired about are those who selected "gay" for Question #2, but then selected "bi" or "straight" for Question #1? If that is the case, then I believe a more suitable terminology in re sexual tendencies would be "same-sex attraction" as distinguished from "gay". When people so easily conflate these two notions, it exacerbates the misconceptions of bisexuality.
2.) Tendencies - this is about attraction/urges, etc... You can identify as straight, & admit same sex attractions.
3.) Actions/Preferences - what is your experience with sex. You tell me who you are? A person could self-identify as straight, but have exclusively same sex sex.
@blueboyblue I'm pretty confident that "trans" does not fit into this survey (at least without an associate label for pansexual identity). Bisexuality does not account for transgender relationships. Also the survey is only concerned with biological aka birth-assigned sex, not gender. So I don't understand trans being an option.
Thx for standing up for bisexuality. But when you refer to sexual preference, I believe you mean sexual orientation (aka sexual identity). Preference has the connotation of choice, and in re bisexuality invites the very misconception of bisexuality as a phase.
their is the majority straight and the minority GLBT it is the arrogance and of the gay community that beliefs secretly the world is in the closet. If you enlightened enough strait folks that going outside and experimentation sexually is a indication bisexuality? ok, how about prison sex then? or something fringe like bestiality. most people who participate in those behaviors are neither animals or gay just opportunistic most would qualify straight need proof? ok! 98% of the world ps Bi
@lukeisareilly wow this bitch is full of himself, hes a he, why cant u just be a gay guy, you make ur life so difficult for urself by being a drag queem
Honestly in my experience most people have at least bisexual tendencies, that does not necessarily mean they are inherently bisexual though it does suggest a potential for such if people's opinions of their sexuality was not already ingrained into us through socialization.
I'm both bisexual and transgender and I'm sick of the under-representation from the LG(bt) community :(
Even my dad once asked me "don't you think you're a bit confused? Shouldn't you decide who you're attracted to before transitioning? You can't possibly know what your gender identity is when you haven't even decided whether you're into men or women yet!" No, dad. I'm not the one confused. You are!
@BlueZephyrTG Same here, I go through this constant deliberation "coming out" to friends as both a bisexual and transgender person because I know being in the DOUBLE minority is effectively entreating censure. It's very depressing at times being part of a community that is in reality, severely fractured. There is no true LGBTQ community. It is several very disparate movements, none of which seem to be capable of functioning in unison.
I agree, and it pisses me off that my gay friend who I've supported for years through his coming out process would turn around and delegitamize my own feelings because I'm just a 'lesbian in disguise'. Because his anecdotal evidence is obviously superior to my experience and the collective experience of all humanity. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
@Speelunking I'm truly sorry to hear about your difficulty coming out. But keep in mind you're not alone. I've met so many other bisexual people who go through the same process of having to defend their sexuality in the company of gay friends. I've come out to almost all of my straight friends. They think I'm awesome for being bisexual. But my gay friends just don't have time for it, so I just pretend to be gay so that I don't have to deal with the constant ridicule.
Bisexuality is very common among women and it's a phenomenon. This sexual orientation is extreme and it makes a woman's sexuality complete from A to Z. Megan Fox, Anna Paquin, and Lady Gaga are bisexuals. Angelina Jolie may have been in the tabloids lately because of her relationship with Brad Pitt, but she is openly bisexual. There are lots of Hollywood actresses who are coming out as bisexuals these days.
There are different types and kinds of dykes, there's the regular lesbian and there's the bisexual woman. Even if the woman is bisexual it does not change the fact that her sexual attraction to and romantic involvement with women is still considered as lesbianism.
@SiriRawrs The sad irony is that Dan Savage, the founder of IT GETS BETTER project, asserts these very arguments against bisexuality. He is supposed to promote equality, but as an overtly proud (pompous?) gay man, he frequently condemns people who identify as bisexual.
@alterpride Its outrageous, that no matter how open society becomes, no matter how hard people try to get rights,equality and understanding for people who identify in a certain, there will ALWAYS be some people left out of these identifications. I refuse to be straight or gay because someone thinks I'm wrong about being Bisexual. And especially with someone who fights for equality for the gay and lesbian community, do they not understand how hard society is on homosexuality already?
@alterpride Its just as hard for bisexual, we are constantly seen as fake, or trying to "get attention and look cool" meanwhile we also get a fuck ton of shit for liking the same gender. Its simply not fair, not to mention bisexual women are often seen as an object of sex, a little show for the straight men, which is bullshit. I do not do things of a sexual nature with females to attract some grody,perverted man.
@SiriRawrs I concur completely. Female and male bisexual people experience many of the same struggles, but also many different struggles as well. On further reflection, I've often wondered whether in fact it would be a benefit or simply a hindrance to divide bisexuality into two categories similar to "gay and lesbian" to recognize this important social distinction and to increase validation and acceptance. It seems the two groups have their own unique burdens that must be addressed separately.
@alterpride That seems very logical to me in all honesty. Though sexuality within itself I would never consider to be one thing or another, sexuality is not black and white, but many shades of grey. I label myself as Homo-bi preferenced because I am "bisexual" but I like women much more then men. And I have a friend who is Homo-preferenced, she considers herself a lesbian but recently started dating a male. I think everyone has abit of gay or straight, whether they know it or not.
@SiriRawrs I don't like labels myself, but our society is dependent on categorizing people sometimes not always for good reasons. Labels not only serve to empower groups of people but also to control groups of people. I try to be open minded and respectful of other people's sexual identity. Nobody knows somebody else better than they know themselves :)
@SiriRawrs I don't see why any of us should needs labels, we are all people, and all of us have sexualitys. Why must we be gay,lesbian,straight, bi, trans,or a? How about we all just learn to accept eachother for who we are, and get over this sexuality thing? Its something you are born with, your sexuality, much like hair color or race or what country you are born in. It is not a hobby, or a game, so why must me judge eachother for it?
I like both women and men. I have since eighth grade. It's really upsetting when the gay community, which you would think would be accepting, thinks that I'm really gay or straight. Or worse, just saying I'm bi to get attention.
@RosalieBells Urgh, I was so worried about that when I started coming out. Luckily, the people I've told are awesome, but I've heard some people talking who are definitely not.
I did a survey in which I allowed people to self-identify both their attractions, and their actions. It turned out about how I expected, with one exception. Straight men will allow themselves a lot more gay tendencies(~25%) and still call themselves straight, where as gay people, if they have even the slightest straight tendency, will call themselves bi or straight. They don't identify as 'gay'.
The moral of this story, straight boys are a lot more gay than you might think.
@blueboyblue No offense, but "gay tendency" is a misnomer. Gay means an exclusive attraction to same-sex partners (frequently MSM, but colloquially it can encompass lesbianism too). Perhaps you mean bisexual tendancy. Also, if "gay people" self identify as bi or straight then who classified them as gay in the first place? Clearly they were never gay, because that is not how they identify. This survey is confusing.
In your opinion, "gay tendency" is a misnomer. Sexuality is a spectrum, not an absolute. The Survey allow people to SELF-IDENTIFY, rather than have an outside force choose an identity for them. It is based on attractions, which is the 'tendency' part, & on actions. Consider the concept of a 'gay virgin', how can they be gay if they don't have sex? Well, it is because they have gay attractions or tendencies.
You can identify as straight, and still have same sex attractions.
@blueboyblue It is not my opinion, it is the connotation of the word gay. To be straight and have "gay tendencies" is an oxymoron. They are mutually exclusive. That is why Kinsey devoted most of his scale to bisexuality. To infer that homo-erotic encounters create gay tendencies is contradicting your claim that sexuality is a scale. As far as the survey, you still haven't answered my question about how these people who self-identified as straight or bi were classified as "gay". Thanks.
Human sexuality is fairly fluid. I don't know why people are so hung up on it. There are far more pressing problems in the world then arguing who is what or why that matters. You're wicked cute.
and why is it that women are more open to admit that its more of a choice about being attracted to the same gender, and not hide behind the "its genetic" bullsh!t ?
This comment has received too many negative votesshow
what about men who like boys ??? is that wrong ?
is that just a sexual preference, or do even gay people see something wrong with that ?
what about people who like having sex with animals ? should we bend the rules, and let them live in society like there's no mental disorder causing those false needs ?
@ZJemptv Great video! Well done :)
RighteousRebel430 2 weeks ago
... and me being attracted at alien like women with big tits and hefty ass, little wobbly belly and big eyes, long hair and legs(not fat, nor muscular... fit). Also, the ones who knows how to move seducing and specially, no able to talk... at all. Juicy red lips, long pink tongue. That kind of babe would make my day, but i have no clue what sexuality it makes me. Still hetero i guess cause i want to fck her, not eat, not harm, not to make sad or feeling scared. A perfect friend with benefits.
preetor1 3 weeks ago
@preetor1 Cool story, bro. Tell it again :)
Naddig74 2 weeks ago
Bisexual people are just greedy! Girls, would you really suck a guys dick knowing it had been in another dudes ass the night before.
Be4TinGyoU 3 weeks ago
@Be4TinGyoU Piss off. Polygamists are greedy. Just because I am attracted to both men and women does not signify greed. Are straight or gay people who are attracted to black and white people greedier than those who just prefer one or the other? No. Are people who like both vanilla and chocolate ice cream greedy? No! They just have a wider range of tastes. Having a wider range of sexual partners to choose from is not greedy. Trying to have more than one sexual partner IS greedy.
Loftworthy 3 weeks ago
@Loftworthy I still think that polygamy should be legalized. I don't see the issue between consenting adults.
lickhunt 6 days ago
amen.
xnindlx 4 weeks ago
And then, you know, the asexuals... pansexuals...
A lot of possibilities in the realm of sexuality.
KapitaenM 1 month ago
ive liked both since the beggining of 2011 everyone ive told has beem really supportive:)
xxbrokexxable 1 month ago
I've liked both men and women since 6th grade and I'm in 9th now. :3
I've been called a whore and multiple other horrid things, but I can't help loving the beautiful bodies and hearts of both sexes. <3
LexiePersonForever 1 month ago in playlist Uploaded videos
:) This is an awesome video. Thank you for setting it that way, there's nothing wrong with who you're attracted to as long as you're not faking it! :D
VeganVirginVaccinatd 1 month ago
im bisexual, thanks for the video
Lzztopz 1 month ago in playlist Queer issues
i think you are very attractive zinna jones lest letting you know ....
Tsubarux 1 month ago
What of Asexuals?
GreatProcrastinator 2 months ago
@GreatProcrastinator Precisely what I was going to comment. Thank you
MaggieHaggis 1 month ago
@MaggieHaggis You're welcome.
Seems like asexuals don't exist though.. D:
GreatProcrastinator 1 month ago
@GreatProcrastinator Yes, I have noticed a stunning lack of videos on here. I've found maybe one of good quality.
MaggieHaggis 1 month ago
@MaggieHaggis True. And of the videos I've seen, the vast majority of comments are all "oh that's not real", "they were probably abused", "they just have a hormone deficiency".. etc. that kind of crap.
GreatProcrastinator 1 month ago
@GreatProcrastinator I know! It is unbelievable. And you wouldn't believe the amount of people I have to explain to that I can't reproduce by myself :/
MaggieHaggis 1 month ago
@MaggieHaggis Ugh, I hate that one... they always say it like a smartass too. I mean come on, words can mean more than one thing.. the word 'gay' is a great example because it concerns sexuality as well.
And the only good videos that I've found on here about asexuality have been from; 'swankivy' .
GreatProcrastinator 1 month ago
@GreatProcrastinator Hmm, I shall have to search this name :) You probably won't believe this one though. Lately, one of my friend-acquaintances were bugging me about 'going out' with someone. I had simply had enough of this at that time and decided to tell her what an asexual was, her having never even heard of the biological term. After explaining that I felt no sexual attraction towards males, females or any gender( I also explained aromantic as I am that as well but I needed to add the
MaggieHaggis 1 month ago
@GreatProcrastinator explained part on and it's not entirely relevant to this conversation) she asked, rather loudly I might add, "So you like he-shes?" The amount of things wrong with that statement I don't know where to start. The use of the word "he-she", the using of it as an insult when one of my transgender friends were near by, the misunderstanding of what I meant, ARGHHHH!!!!! People :/
MaggieHaggis 1 month ago
Comment removed
GreatProcrastinator 1 month ago
@MaggieHaggis I hear ya! I'm aromantic as well. Friendship is the most I can give anyone.. on my end a friend; friend A(who I explicitly told that I wasn't interested in anyone) helped to ruin me and friend B's friendship by pushing them to ask me out.. I said "no, I don't wanna waste your time" and I'm Hitler now.)
GreatProcrastinator 1 month ago
@GreatProcrastinator Ah, that's annoying. My two close friends, one of which being transgender, are both very accepting, though the non-transgender one did mix up what asexual and aromantic meant with each other, they were generally very easy to tell
MaggieHaggis 1 month ago
@MaggieHaggis Yes very annoying. And you're lucky to have such good friends! :)
GreatProcrastinator 1 month ago
@GreatProcrastinator Yeah, I am :)
MaggieHaggis 1 month ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@MaggieHaggis And I'm pretty sure that "he-she" is a horrible insult to the transgendered.. I just hope that she said it out of ignorance rather than malice.. and did your other friend hear her? Or were they thankfully out of range?
GreatProcrastinator 1 month ago
I think women's bodies are more attractive than men's bodies and I prefer dicks over pussies :D
Memoria777 2 months ago
This is an interesting topic. I've always thought that bisexuality doesn't exist. I've never stated it publicly, but I've always thought that bisexuality was a way of avoiding being gay. I know that a gay person can find a different gender attractive, but they don't find them sexually attractive, and vice versa. Now that you've loaded this video, I now believe that bisexuals exist. Thanks for educating me.
MonsieurMercredi 3 months ago
i'm bisexual, and i think you're pretty and sweet...
jamesedwardtheobald 3 months ago
@jamesedwardtheobald grey area is great. i might be puzzling to some since i like women most and have passing and limited interest in men. discreet about it, but if i met a sweetie like ZJ around here, i might consider ending being discreet...
jamesedwardtheobald 3 months ago
zinnia, what do you think about the kinsey scale?
punishalltrolls 3 months ago
Well said, though I haven't ran into that one. I mostly hear "there's no such thing as lesbains""I can lay any lesbain", ect. It's rather annoying >_<
thex13thxchild 3 months ago
Thank you. Thank you alot. Personally, I tend to say that straight and gay ppl aren't really after "men" or "women" but after "Alicia Springs" or "Bob Meyer", no one has their GF/BF just because said partner is a man or a woman. They just choose their partners from the pool of one sex because they don't really "see" the other one that way just like they don't see anything about their moms. Being bi just means you choose an individual - exactly like straight or gay ppl - but from the pool of all
KendrixTermina 3 months ago
compatible (in terms of looks, personality, interests etc) people regardless of gender/without gender factoring into "compatible-ness". It's like being fine with both blonde and red hair or just not caring which one it is. In the end, we all love people, not "men" or "women".
KendrixTermina 3 months ago
Oh, fancy graphics!
clauditorium 4 months ago
I love you!
gutspillage 4 months ago
I agree its stupid to tell them to just pick one. Now I have to admit I did think that because we live in a hetrosexual identified society I believed that they could just choose to be hetrsexual but I realized that this is no more true for them than it is for me.
cynt123able 4 months ago
What happens if aliens enter the picture
JustAnotherFan02 4 months ago
Well said.
ZealousSceptic 4 months ago
A pet peeve of mine is assuming that a one night stand defines sexuality. For example, a fictional female character who had several relationships with men suddenly had a one night stand with a woman and everyone--including CNN who reported on it for some baffling reason--assume that the heroine is now gay and could never go back to men.
JaneCochran 4 months ago
non-profit activism? haha my ass man my ass
ariplayer15 5 months ago
Are you a dude?
jasonlmcclean 5 months ago
I love you.
zepalom 5 months ago 18
I'm bisexual
remanuelmr 6 months ago
That was amazing, you just told it like it is and set everyone straight. (No pun intended) Really great job enlightening people.
MarkTheGoblin32 6 months ago 21
Everything is in spectrum. Nosy people just want to know your standing so they can categorize you in simplistic black or white.
Desolator84 6 months ago
Actually, Sexuality must comprise FOUR aspects -
- Gender
- Attractions/Tendencies
- Actions/Experience
- Self-Identification
I really should have had an "Action" catagory in my survey.
Maybe next time, and next time it will be % Same Sex / % Opposite Sex., because you are after all right. The Term "Gay" is more of an identity, where as "Same/Opposite" more reflects feelings. So, you have a valid point.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue Age is a fifth aspect, in my opinion.
Gordaton 6 months ago
@Gordaton - "Age is a fifth aspect, in my opinion."
Is it Age, or is it Time, and is that a distinction even worth making? It think it is time, over time we refine ourselves and our view of ourselves. We become more informed and more refined, and as such our sexuality, or our attitude toward our sexuality, changes.
If we assume more are bi, then at various times, living in various location, the objects of our desire change. In this sense, there is an environmental factor involved as well.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue Hmm, I think it is age, as you explained: "over time we refine ourselves." That would appear to equate moreso with age (at least if we are speaking of identity).
alterpride 5 months ago
@Gordaton
What I mean by is it Age or is it Time, is that I can see people changing with the passage of time and the changing of circumstances, but I don't see those changes in attitude and actions as being associated with a specific chronological age, more so with the passing of time.
Admittedly, I'm taking your point to a pretty fine edge. But Age vs Time is something to think about.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue I really do appreciate that you understand now where I'm coming from. At some point, I'll post a video on bisexuality. That should hopefully clear up any confusion for other people who might not be aware of this perspective.
alterpride 5 months ago
You've made you points well, and have done so in a very civil fashion for something you feel so strongly about. That is certainly to be admired.
I'm curious what you think of my idea, that by your definition, virtually every living person would have to fall into the catagory of Bisexual? Whether you feel that a valid interpretation or not, you have to admit their is a grain of truth to it.
I also reiterate that sexuality must comprise 3 aspects - Attraction, Action, and Self-Identity.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
Sorry, been busy with Pride coming up. Indeed, I'm the likely only person that objected to the survey's terminology. That only reinforces my prior arguments: people have been brainwashed to accept the status quo. There are few vocal proponents of bisexuality -- certainly in marked contrast to the lesbian and gay liberation movements of the past half-century. Most bi people rarely uphold the virtues of their sexuality when challenged; they merely accept ignorance and intolerance without question.
alterpride 5 months ago
@blueboyblue I feel the only way to guarantee bisexual visibility is to avoid direct or indirect dismissive language. Gay and straight, altho common shorthands, IMO should only convey self-identification (I've elaborated my reasons previously). Keep in mind, I only stated that bi, gay, str8 (as identities) are mutually exclusive. I didn't "define" bi nor suggest that it's a predominant sexuality. Basically, at any given time it is not logical to self-identify as straight and gay simultaneously.
alterpride 5 months ago
I really do understand your point, & was well aware that your opposition was to the use of "gay" / "straight" as opposed to 'Same sex' / 'Opposite sex', but as you also know, in Internet communication, one uses the briefest for possible.
And you are the only person so far, out of about 1200 people who answered & many more who viewed, who felt compelled to make the distinction.
As you explain your position, I agree, or at least understand the perspective.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue Just to clarify, I'm not suggesting you are ignorant or intolerant. Just citing reasons why most bi identified people do not have the impetus to convey such concerns or frustrations. I suspect some don't care. But likely others in fact DO care but lack the depth of knowledge on sexuality because the only "Sex Ed" they receive is from the highly biased gay media. Hence, my ongoing point why bisexuality must have no implied subordinate dependence on either gay or straight.
alterpride 5 months ago
I do see your point and understand where you are coming from. I understand that you nitpick at my choice of phrase, but I think you are doing so in a way that ignores my point and purpose.
NONE THE LESS, I see an understand your point based on YOUR definition.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
is that a man!
etarnalsailormoon 6 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@etarnalsailormoon
"is that a man!"
Yes, it is a HUman, what more do you need?
blueboyblue 6 months ago
Deep apologies for continuing this discussion, I think I might have a touch of OCD.
I really do see your point, but I think by using that definition, you are casting such a broad net, that virtually every living person MUST be classified as BiSexual.
That is something I agree with. I think Bisexuality spans a HUGE spectrum of the population, but social convention & pressure force people to deny that aspect of themselves. Pressure forces people to place themselves in an absolute catagory.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue I think once you reread my earlier post, understanding that I am referring to mutual exclusivity (not exclusivity, as I already conceded in that debate that we simply have differing opinions) my argument will gain some clarity. Once again, I'm sorry there have been so many ongoing barriers in understanding one another. Sometimes without visual aids, it's difficult to explains these concepts readily.
alterpride 6 months ago
I think we have both made our points well, &hopeful well enough that those reading can see & understand both side independent of whether they or we agree or not.
I will re-make one last point, % Same Sex / % Opposite Sex Attraction is about just that Attractions, not identity.
I could have added one more question to the survey, & that would have been to allow people to define their Action independent of attraction - % Same Sex Activity / % Opposite Sex Activity & perhaps % Mono-sex activity.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue It appears the only singular issue that resulted in so many pages of debate was your survey's use of "gay" and "straight" as labels to characterize people's same vs. opposite sex attraction. Gay and straight, in American culture have a very discernable polarizing connotation, even if there may be some colloquial variations. Trying to force a bisexual identified person to characterize their attractions using these two terms is unjustified and presumptuous. Hope that clarifies.
alterpride 6 months ago
@blueboyblue Once we go down that road of superfluously promoting a "bi is half-gay" stereotype, it leads to the popular misconceptions of bisexuality. Myth #1: If bi is half-gay, then bisexuality itself doesn't exist. There is only gay and str8. Myth #2: If bi is half-gay, then bi people are on the road to becoming gay. Myth #3: If bi is half-gay, then bi people are greedy and want to be str8 and gay at the same time. Denoting attraction as a "percentage of gay" is an impediment to the cause.
alterpride 6 months ago
Damn it I have a friend whose brother recently came out as bi and his dad is being a close minded ass about it, saying that he "needs help" and should force himself to like girls and whatnot, this video would be perfect to show him but he would be so close minded about seeing a guy with lipstick and earrings :(
MimiMemeko 6 months ago
Damn slutty teenage girls making bisexuality look bad.
PureEleganceYo 6 months ago
AfterPride,
You seem to take the stand that Gay means Exclusive, but 'exclusive' what? Attractions? Actions? Self-definition? As defined by doctors and psychologists? As defined by law? As defined by surveys that have a biased predetermined conclusion? As defined by surveys that make an effort to be fair and balanced?
I'm not sure what your definition is, but I prefer to let people tell me who they are, and to not argue with their conclusions.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue I will try to explain again. There are three categories of sexuality: gay, bi, and straight (there are many more, but for sake of simplicity). These categories are mutually exclusive. People will select one of those categories to identify themselves. They can just as easily serve as a definition for attractions or actions. But that does not give you the right to use those terms to forcibly characterize anybody's sexuality, including their actions and attractions.
alterpride 6 months ago
@alterpride
"There are three (mutually exclusive) categories of sexuality: gay, bi, and straight.... "
Here is where we don't agree. Again, Exclusive vs Predominant. You are free to use the definition if you wish, & for you, that makes it right. But I personally don't think many will agree.
By your definition, independent of anyone's self-definition, 98% (Illustrative) of people are BI. And within your definition that is right. But I don't think that definition is universal accepted.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue You are misunderstanding. I stated the that the three categories are mutually exclusive, NOT exclusive. There is a very important distinction. Being "mutually exclusive" with respect to one another does not inhibit a person from identifying with any category they wish nor does it convey that any one category takes precedence nor does it suggest specific properties of either category (it's completely unrelated to the argument of exclusive vs. predominant attractions, actions, etc.).
alterpride 6 months ago
@blueboyblue To put it simply, if you desire to allow people tell you who they are then you must select terms that allow them to do so without prejudice. To only provide options allowing a bi person to define how they act and feel in the framework of two supposedly "superior sexualities" is not letting them tell you who they are. That is YOU telling them who they are. To proclaim that same-sex attractions of any % degree are dependent on and subject to "gayness" is presumptuous and disparaging.
alterpride 6 months ago
AlterPride,
I do understand what you are fighting for, & commend you for it.
I think you are being too ridged in your definition of BI. You are trying to force a definition on people who already have a well defined Self-Definition.
What if your attractions are 99% Same / 1% Opposite, are you forbidding them from calling themselves Gay? Are YOU forcing the preference of BI onto them?
It seems, by self-definition 30%/70% - 70%/30% is the threshold where people will identify as Bi.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue On the contrary, I do not think I am being at all rigid. In fact, I stated previously that I encourage people to define themselves however they please. What I take issue with is when OTHER people try to define my sexuality. I am bi. I am attracted mostly to girls. However, I have only had encounters with men. If you ask about my tendencies, I would tell you that I am 0% gay and 0% straight. That is because I am not "gay", nor do I want to be forced to label my attractions as "gay".
alterpride 6 months ago
In the context of the Survey, the second question is NOT about %Gay identity, but about same sex attractions, which I assume we must agree comes in varying degrees.
Next, attraction and action are not the same thing. A gay virgin has well defined attraction, but no action to back it up.
What about a BI by attraction, whose actions are exclusively one or the other? Are they defined by their attractions, their actions, or their own self-definition?
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue I realize the question is not about identity. Please reread my post below. You claim the terms "gay" and "straight" are not an absolute measurement of attraction (i.e. "gay" according to you means "predominantly same-sex attraction" ). Hence, these terms cannot be used to classify relative attractions to either sex because there is no longer a static point of reference. Instead of "Gay" being an absolute, it is now completely subjective. Hence 30% gay 70% straight loses all meaning.
alterpride 6 months ago
AlterPride,
I do see your point, but obviously, I don't agree.
"20% gay 80% straight" is not about identity, as you seem to want it to be, it is about ATTRACTION. Bi are attracted to same & opposite, but do we assume that is always 50/50? Not likely. They are attracted to each, to varying degrees.
So, the survey is not about %gay vs %straight, but rather measure the degree of attraction to various partners.
The NEXT Section, allows people to define themselves by specific categories.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue I think you are missing my point again. I stated that you are forcing people to define their attractions based on comparisons to other sexualities. A person who self-identifies as bisexual is not gay, nor are they predisposed to have gay tendencies. However, they might have same-sex attractions of varying degrees. And they might even have an encounter with a same-sex partner. To characterize any bisexual as acting "gay" (actions) or feeling "gay" (tendencies) is an offense.
alterpride 6 months ago
AlterPride,
Sorry to ramble on, I'm certainly not picking on you. You've been very civil, and I hope I've been the same.
But let's take ZJ as an example. A guy who dresses somewhat like a girl, has called himself gay, but has a girlfriend; do I or you get to define him? No, I don't think so.
He is who and how he identifies himself, and who is to say he is wrong? And you are right, that can change over time. At any time, he knows him better than we do, and better than a survey does.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue I think we will have to agree to disagree. I strongly believe based on testimony of gay friends, coworkers, etc. who would vehemently contest your defining their sexuality as a "predominant" rather than an "exclusive" attraction. That connotation only encourages obfuscation rather than clarification of sexual identity. It also further marginalizes bisexuality as being entirely dependent on and subordinate to both gay and straight, rather than a legitimate sexuality of its own.
alterpride 6 months ago
AlterPride,
I think you are right, we do have a dispute of semantics. But keep in mind many gay men have had sex with women, does that mean they are disallowed from calling themselves Gay?
"Gay" does not necessarily mean EXCLUSIVELY Same Sex, it mean predominantly Same Sex.
My conclusion about those who start by claiming they are BI, only to later identify as Gay IS NOT a conclusion from the Survey, it is a conclusion from life experience and personal testimonials.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue If a man who previously had sexual encounters with a woman, now identifies as "gay" that could be for any number of reasons, even one of self-discovery. But that does not demand a redefinition of our terminology. It simply reinforces that sexuality can change throughout one's life. As I've stated, people have the right to define themselves. Your survey precludes that option, imposing "boxes" that only permit people to define their OWN sexuality in relation to OTHER sexualities.
alterpride 6 months ago
AlterPride,
Sorry a few corrections, below should be "20% Same Sex Tendencies and 80% OPPOSITE Sex Tendencies. Sexuality is about who you are attracted to, and is spans a spectrum.
"Gay" means Same Sex, but it doesn't necessarily mean exclusively Same Sex. You can define that as Bi and not Gay, but I prefer to let people define themselves, and isn't that specifically what you are fighting for? To not be defined by the opinions of others?
blueboyblue 6 months ago
Comment removed
alterpride 6 months ago
@blueboyblue Yet your survey is unduly defining people by focusing the entirety of its selection criteria on "gay vs straight" characteristicts. As I've stated, this may not invite "confusion" per se, but it promulgates the unsconscionable myth that bi-identified people are merely "half gay". That is not helping to legitimize bisexuality. It is in fact reinforcing an outdated cultural stereotype and promoting the deleterious notion that gay and straight are classifiably superior to bi.
alterpride 6 months ago
AlterPride,
My survey recognizes these varying degrees of attraction. It is not 100%/0%, 50%/50%, & 0%/100%. Sexuality is more complex than that.
That is also why there is a gradient scale for Tendencies, & specific categories for Self-Identification. I fall into a spectrum on the Tendencies Scale that could & should put me in the BiSexual catagory, & some might force that label on me, but I choose to self-identify as gay. So, who is right? Me or the people who would force a catagory on me?
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue Understand I am not questioning the complexity of sexuality. After all, I am bisexual with a variety of paraphilias, and I have been reading about sexology since high school. How people self-identify is their own prerogative. That is not at issue. But if the ultimate goal is to increase bi-visibility, then it cannot be accomplished until we acknowledge that gay, straight, and bi are each mutually exclusive categories and that tendencies are based on same and opposite sex attraction.
alterpride 6 months ago
@alterpride
I think we are more on the same page than it seems, and are really in a discussion of semantics. We agree that Bi is made up of attractions to both same and opposite sex. We agree that those attraction are to a different degree in different people. We differ slightly on whether Gay means exclusive or predominant. Still that is a small point to debate.
But we do both agree that Bisexuality is not a phase, that it is a very real, logical, & distinct form of sexuality.
Good Luck.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue Sorry, but semantics are the primary issue of contention with bi-visibility. As a Western culture, our propensity to define all sexual behavior in reference to gay vs straight, is why many people dismiss bisexuality as subordinate to these identities. Also bear in mind, as I implied above, sexuality is not a spectrum. And hence why tendencies cannot be categorized as "gay or straight".
alterpride 6 months ago
@alterpride
Though I don't want to start another argument, I would say that if we use the strictest definitions of Gay and Straight. Then a vast and substantial majority of the world is Bisexual, whether they choose to act on or acknowledge those feelings or not.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue Yes, and if you review Alfred Kinsey's research, he devoted the vast majority of his scale -- five points in fact -- to bisexuality. If you truly believe that sexuality is a spectrum (I personally do not, but that is an entirely different discussion), then you'll understand why even Kinsey himself acknowledged the "problem" of most people being bisexual decades ago in his research. However, he also recognized that sexuality changes with time which partially mitigated that "problem".
alterpride 6 months ago
@blueboyblue To further my point and finally put closure on this debate consider that below you argue that gay means "predominantly same sex attraction". If that is the case, how can it serve as a definitive attribute to analyze people's tendencies? That renders the metric of "20% gay 80% straight" useless as the very meanings of gay and straight, as you purport, are variable rather than absolute. Thus neither can be used to classify sexuality-relationships without a static point of reference.
alterpride 6 months ago
AlterPride,
Keep in mind, there is limited space for explanation in the survey. I hardly consider this a scientific survey, more general interest.
Saying 20% Gay / 80% Straight Tendencies has been interpreted by everyone but you as 20% Same Sex Tendencies/Attractions & 80% Same Sex Tendencies/Attractions. "Gay" is just a shorthand way of saying 'Same Sex'.
We agree that sexuality is a spectrum, if you have BiSexual tendencies then you are attracted to both sexes, but to varying degrees.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue But this is the very problem I am trying to convey. Gay is not a shorthand for same sex attraction. Take same-sex marriage, for example. You may have two people in a long-term, committed relationship. But if both partners are bi-identified, they do not "become gay" simply because they can only express sexual tendencies with their same-sex partner. Interpretation is not the problem. This is a question of promulgating a misconception and why phrases like "gay marriage" are a faux pas.
alterpride 6 months ago
AlterPride,
While there are a very small group of people who come out as bisexual as a transition phase to admitting they are gay, that doesn't change anything.
That small group does not invalidate that common logic and the diversity of life that dictates that Bisexuality is real, and not only real, but very reasonable.
Just as some ask, How can their be gay people, I reply with, how can their not. The same with Bisexuals, some can't fathom the concept, but it is perfectly reasonable.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue Your support of bisexuality is honorable, don't get me wrong. But please realize that I am very outspoken when people attempt to extrapolate unverified information from limited data on sexuality surveys, case studies, etc. Your survey is useful for analyzing general relationships between tendencies, actions, and identities, but it does not allow you to determine personal motivations, nor trends over a course of time. To do so is, in fact, highly deceptive.
alterpride 6 months ago
@alterpride (3)
I also realize you are a strong advocate on sexual issues, & praise to you. But Sexuality does not come in 3 categories - gay, straight, and bi. It is very much a spectrum. So saying you are BI does not mean your attractions are 50/50. My survey indicates that people whose Tendencies run from 30% Gay / 70% Straight up to 70% Gay / 30% Straight self-identify as Bi.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue It appears the source of confusion here is the language. The survey apparently figures a percentage "gay vs straight" for tendencies, but that promulgates the myth that sexuality is black-vs-white. The terminology I would recommend is "same-sex vs opposite-sex attraction" which obviates this potential for confusion. Attraction and identification are two separate concepts. I'm sure you'd agree.
alterpride 6 months ago
@alterpride (3B)
By the number of times, I've had far more sex with women, but by the number of people, I've had sex with more men. So what am I?
The answer is YOU can't tell me what I am. Only I CAN TELL YOU.
That is why I put the question in a spectrum, rather than in absolutes. I would place myself in the roughly 80%G / 20%S to 70%G to 30%S catagory. Obviously my male-to-male tendencies are stronger, so I would probably call myself gay. BUT, I could just as easily call myself BI.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
AlterPride (apologies for getting your name wrong),
This is confusing because Actions don't conform to Tendencies, & neither are guaranteed to conform to Self-Identity. Again, consider the concept of a gay virgin. How can someone who is not sexual (sexually active) be classified in a sexual catagory. Answer: Because it is not about action, it is about tendencies, which are explained as feelings and urges.
Further some people act against type. EG: Gay womanizers in denial about who he is.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
AfterPride,
As to the "Essay" issue ... seriously? When was the last time you ever saw or were involved in a poll that allowed any free-form explanation. At best, you get to answer the questions asked in simple Yes or No, or A, B, C, or D.
But, I at least made an effort to let people Self-Identify, rather than forcing my conclusion on them.
From the data in my survey, it appears if your sexual feeling are in the range 30%Gay/70%Str up to 70%Gay/30%Str, you self-identify as Bisexual.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue I'm sorry, but I'm not convinced. As you have pointed out, the lack of an essay question, does not allow you to draw any conclusions about people's motives. Yet nonetheless you drew some remarkably detailed conclusions about bisexual people in your prior post: "Identifying as BiSexual, says 'it's OK Dad, I still like girls'. That is, a percentage who do self-identification as BI, do so as a transition phase to eventually declaring themselves as gay."
alterpride 6 months ago
@alterpride (2)
Just because I mentioned a survey, does not mean everything I say is drawn from that survey. The "It's OK Dad, I still like girls" is something that I have observed in real life, and not something drawn from my small and limited survey. Many people have come out & admitted they came out as BI before they came out as Gay.
BUT MY POINT IS, the existance of this small group of people does NOT deny the very real & valid existance of BI-Sexual people. I'm advocating FOR Bi-Sexuals.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue I believe you are misunderstanding my only issue of contention. I was pointing out that you cannot derive conclusions from the survey, where the survey itself does not provide the means to obtain the supporting data for those conclusions. For example, it was speculation to ascertain that a small sampling of respondents who identified as "bi" are gay. That requires a sampling over a course of time or some other evidence.
alterpride 6 months ago
AFTERPRIDE,
You misunderstand me. There are those who claim that "bisexual" people are 'just confused', 'in denial', 'unwilling to admit they are gay'. They are denying the concept of 'bisexual'.
What I am saying is that there is a small percentage that are all those things, but that DOESN'T change the fact that sexuality is a spectrum, it is not pure black and white, & BISEXUALITY is a very real, logical, & reasonable.
You seem to respond with antagonism, when I'm trying to be supportive.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue I am sorry to sound antogonistic. It is admittedly very discouraging whenever I convey to you the same question, you seem to keep avoiding it. Whether or not actions conform to tendencies is irrelevant. What matters is identity. If a group of gay people self-identified as bi, then they cannot be gay. Your willfully classifying them as gay based on some anonymous survey data, is "thrusting an identity upon them." That is my objection.
alterpride 6 months ago
@alterpride (1)
Your question is based on assumptions about me and my motivations. And I see no clear question based on what I Actually said.
I'll address that when I address your next post.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue Just so you know I do appreciate the explanation; and I don't doubt your motivations. I only questioned the survey not you. I was simply trying to convey that while advocating for bisexuality, it would be more beneficial if we avoid phraseology like "40% straight and 60% gay". It reinforces the misconception that bisexuality is dependent on gay and straight. It also suggests that bisexuality is the result of being "half-gay" (i.e. gay tendencies). I hope you understand my concerns.
alterpride 6 months ago
Identifying as BiSexual, says 'it's OK Dad, I still like girls'. That is, a percentage who do self-identification as BI, do so as a transition phase to eventually declaring themselves as gay.
But, the existance of this group of people in no way mitigates the reality that there are people fully capable of being attracted to either gender.
The claim, "you just can't admit your are gay' is true of a limited number of people. But that limited number shouldn't define everyone identified as BI.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue I don't see an "essay" option in the survey that permits respondents to explain their motives for identification. As I've already elucidated, our culture is vastly under-educated about bisexuality. So the benefit of coming out to parents of another generation, who've likely never even been exposed to the concept and who's only source information on the subject is the misguided media is highly dubious. Also, per my previous comment, the survey does not even consider age as a factor.
alterpride 6 months ago
The purpose of the Survey is to allow people to SELF-IDENTIFY, & not have an identity thrust upon them. That's why the second question is not Gay, Bi, Straight. It is 0%/100%, 10%/90%, 20%/80% up to 100%/0%, & inquires about "feelings, urges, desires, fantasies, stimulation, & attractions that are ... sexual in nature, & may or may not include actual sexual activity". You can have feelings without having action & action without feelings. Followed by self-definition based on 7 categories.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue If the purpose of the survey is to allow people to self identify then that still does not explain how you determined that "a small group of gay people identify as bisexual". How can you proclaim that they are gay if they clearly identified as bisexual. That invalidates the purpose of the survey, notwithstanding your personal opinions of bisexual identification. You just "thrust an identity" on that group of people for no reason.
alterpride 6 months ago
There is a small group who are gay, but at the moment identify as bisexual. For this small group, coming out as Bi allows them to admit same sex attraction, without fully committing themselves.
But, this small group has nothing to do with people who really are Bisexual. True bisexual are just that fully capable of being attracted to either sex.
However, for the small group I mentioned, calling themselves bisexual is something of a political move, it softens the blow to parents and friends.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue That is a valid point, but I find it curious why anybody would want to openly identify as "bi" in order to mitigate any perceived social opposition or inequity. Bisexuality is a stigma. Many people do not even understand the term. So I do not believe it would be an "obvious choice" to divert attention from the issue. Noticeably absent from your survey, is that of age. Young people frequently identify as bisexual, as a curiosity. But adults are far more confident in their identity.
alterpride 6 months ago
In the survey, 12% identified as having 100% straight feelings, yet 22% self-identified as having 100% straight Sexual Preferences.
25% identified as having 100% gay feelings (attractions/tendencies), yet 41% self-identified as having a "Gay" Sexual Preference.
Make of it what you will.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue Okay, I wasn't notified of these followup responses. So if I understand correctly the small group of "gay people" I inquired about are those who selected "gay" for Question #2, but then selected "bi" or "straight" for Question #1? If that is the case, then I believe a more suitable terminology in re sexual tendencies would be "same-sex attraction" as distinguished from "gay". When people so easily conflate these two notions, it exacerbates the misconceptions of bisexuality.
alterpride 6 months ago
The Survey I conducted asked 3 questions.
1.) Identify yourself - Gay, straight, bi, tans, +more
2.) Tendencies - this is about attraction/urges, etc... You can identify as straight, & admit same sex attractions.
3.) Actions/Preferences - what is your experience with sex. You tell me who you are? A person could self-identify as straight, but have exclusively same sex sex.
the survey can be found here -
bboycelebs . homestead . com / survey . html
Minus the spaces, of course.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue I'm pretty confident that "trans" does not fit into this survey (at least without an associate label for pansexual identity). Bisexuality does not account for transgender relationships. Also the survey is only concerned with biological aka birth-assigned sex, not gender. So I don't understand trans being an option.
alterpride 6 months ago
Thx for standing up for bisexuality. But when you refer to sexual preference, I believe you mean sexual orientation (aka sexual identity). Preference has the connotation of choice, and in re bisexuality invites the very misconception of bisexuality as a phase.
alterpride 6 months ago
Excellent explanation on bisexuality.
aixelsydyslexia 6 months ago
Find out the REAL reason why some are BORN straight, bi, gay, lesbian, asexual.
Google: Gay relationship sexuality and love explained
Foundation360 6 months ago
Comment removed
jaceaguar 6 months ago
You're a shemale ??
Yasminesupagirl 6 months ago
Hahahaha
Yasminesupagirl 6 months ago
Some people are bi, that's okay!
TheElectricDreamer93 7 months ago
Omg thank you soo much! :) couldnt have said it better
Tina12321 7 months ago
their is the majority straight and the minority GLBT it is the arrogance and of the gay community that beliefs secretly the world is in the closet. If you enlightened enough strait folks that going outside and experimentation sexually is a indication bisexuality? ok, how about prison sex then? or something fringe like bestiality. most people who participate in those behaviors are neither animals or gay just opportunistic most would qualify straight need proof? ok! 98% of the world ps Bi
pinfold1000 7 months ago
makes me feel being bisexual is ok ^^
rcatstott 7 months ago 3
LIKE! LIKE! LIKE! Thank you so much for saying this!
lissap411 7 months ago
What the fuck are you? A girl or guy?
kimberly285 7 months ago
@kimberly285 A guy
lukeisareilly 7 months ago
@lukeisareilly wow this bitch is full of himself, hes a he, why cant u just be a gay guy, you make ur life so difficult for urself by being a drag queem
kimberly285 5 months ago
@BlueZephyrTG What kind of under-apprechaition do you mean?
HeikiKoboi 8 months ago
wow, this is just awesome!
sillykatz 8 months ago
Honestly in my experience most people have at least bisexual tendencies, that does not necessarily mean they are inherently bisexual though it does suggest a potential for such if people's opinions of their sexuality was not already ingrained into us through socialization.
WazcallyWabbit 8 months ago
I'm both bisexual and transgender and I'm sick of the under-representation from the LG(bt) community :(
Even my dad once asked me "don't you think you're a bit confused? Shouldn't you decide who you're attracted to before transitioning? You can't possibly know what your gender identity is when you haven't even decided whether you're into men or women yet!" No, dad. I'm not the one confused. You are!
BlueZephyrTG 8 months ago 6
@BlueZephyrTG Same here, I go through this constant deliberation "coming out" to friends as both a bisexual and transgender person because I know being in the DOUBLE minority is effectively entreating censure. It's very depressing at times being part of a community that is in reality, severely fractured. There is no true LGBTQ community. It is several very disparate movements, none of which seem to be capable of functioning in unison.
alterpride 6 months ago
I agree, and it pisses me off that my gay friend who I've supported for years through his coming out process would turn around and delegitamize my own feelings because I'm just a 'lesbian in disguise'. Because his anecdotal evidence is obviously superior to my experience and the collective experience of all humanity. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Speelunking 8 months ago
@Speelunking I'm truly sorry to hear about your difficulty coming out. But keep in mind you're not alone. I've met so many other bisexual people who go through the same process of having to defend their sexuality in the company of gay friends. I've come out to almost all of my straight friends. They think I'm awesome for being bisexual. But my gay friends just don't have time for it, so I just pretend to be gay so that I don't have to deal with the constant ridicule.
alterpride 6 months ago
OMG ZJemptv thank you so much for putting this up!!!! no one has any idea of the kinsey scale idea you put up and it IS true. thank you so much.
doggygenesis 8 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Bisexuality is very common among women and it's a phenomenon. This sexual orientation is extreme and it makes a woman's sexuality complete from A to Z. Megan Fox, Anna Paquin, and Lady Gaga are bisexuals. Angelina Jolie may have been in the tabloids lately because of her relationship with Brad Pitt, but she is openly bisexual. There are lots of Hollywood actresses who are coming out as bisexuals these days.
knightsofstjoan2004 8 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
There are different types and kinds of dykes, there's the regular lesbian and there's the bisexual woman. Even if the woman is bisexual it does not change the fact that her sexual attraction to and romantic involvement with women is still considered as lesbianism.
knightsofstjoan2004 8 months ago
Thank you for that.
Im bisexual and these are the majority of the arguments i hear against my saying this.
1."Your only a teenager, your too young to know what you are" But if i was straight then of course I would know for sure, right?
2."Its just a phase" A phase thats been around for as long as i can remember, of course, sound argument.
3."But you cant like both. You must be a lesbian in denial". I have a boyfriend.
4."Well then your just a confused straight girl" Im not confused,you are,
SiriRawrs 9 months ago 11
@SiriRawrs The sad irony is that Dan Savage, the founder of IT GETS BETTER project, asserts these very arguments against bisexuality. He is supposed to promote equality, but as an overtly proud (pompous?) gay man, he frequently condemns people who identify as bisexual.
alterpride 6 months ago
@alterpride Its outrageous, that no matter how open society becomes, no matter how hard people try to get rights,equality and understanding for people who identify in a certain, there will ALWAYS be some people left out of these identifications. I refuse to be straight or gay because someone thinks I'm wrong about being Bisexual. And especially with someone who fights for equality for the gay and lesbian community, do they not understand how hard society is on homosexuality already?
SiriRawrs 6 months ago
@alterpride Its just as hard for bisexual, we are constantly seen as fake, or trying to "get attention and look cool" meanwhile we also get a fuck ton of shit for liking the same gender. Its simply not fair, not to mention bisexual women are often seen as an object of sex, a little show for the straight men, which is bullshit. I do not do things of a sexual nature with females to attract some grody,perverted man.
SiriRawrs 6 months ago
@SiriRawrs I concur completely. Female and male bisexual people experience many of the same struggles, but also many different struggles as well. On further reflection, I've often wondered whether in fact it would be a benefit or simply a hindrance to divide bisexuality into two categories similar to "gay and lesbian" to recognize this important social distinction and to increase validation and acceptance. It seems the two groups have their own unique burdens that must be addressed separately.
alterpride 6 months ago
@alterpride That seems very logical to me in all honesty. Though sexuality within itself I would never consider to be one thing or another, sexuality is not black and white, but many shades of grey. I label myself as Homo-bi preferenced because I am "bisexual" but I like women much more then men. And I have a friend who is Homo-preferenced, she considers herself a lesbian but recently started dating a male. I think everyone has abit of gay or straight, whether they know it or not.
SiriRawrs 6 months ago
@SiriRawrs I don't like labels myself, but our society is dependent on categorizing people sometimes not always for good reasons. Labels not only serve to empower groups of people but also to control groups of people. I try to be open minded and respectful of other people's sexual identity. Nobody knows somebody else better than they know themselves :)
alterpride 6 months ago
@SiriRawrs I don't see why any of us should needs labels, we are all people, and all of us have sexualitys. Why must we be gay,lesbian,straight, bi, trans,or a? How about we all just learn to accept eachother for who we are, and get over this sexuality thing? Its something you are born with, your sexuality, much like hair color or race or what country you are born in. It is not a hobby, or a game, so why must me judge eachother for it?
SiriRawrs 6 months ago
I like both women and men. I have since eighth grade. It's really upsetting when the gay community, which you would think would be accepting, thinks that I'm really gay or straight. Or worse, just saying I'm bi to get attention.
RosalieBells 9 months ago 2
@RosalieBells Urgh, I was so worried about that when I started coming out. Luckily, the people I've told are awesome, but I've heard some people talking who are definitely not.
HydrogenIsExplosive 8 months ago
Yes, I was strongly displeased to find that not all the gay community is not totally welcoming to bisexuals. :\
Thank you for making this video ZJ. It's nice to not be misrepresented. :)
PurpleGhost 9 months ago 2
What about asexuality?
IKillBabyKittensLOL 9 months ago
@IKillBabyKittensLOL cool with me
zepalom 9 months ago
I did a survey in which I allowed people to self-identify both their attractions, and their actions. It turned out about how I expected, with one exception. Straight men will allow themselves a lot more gay tendencies(~25%) and still call themselves straight, where as gay people, if they have even the slightest straight tendency, will call themselves bi or straight. They don't identify as 'gay'.
The moral of this story, straight boys are a lot more gay than you might think.
blueboyblue 10 months ago 4
@blueboyblue No offense, but "gay tendency" is a misnomer. Gay means an exclusive attraction to same-sex partners (frequently MSM, but colloquially it can encompass lesbianism too). Perhaps you mean bisexual tendancy. Also, if "gay people" self identify as bi or straight then who classified them as gay in the first place? Clearly they were never gay, because that is not how they identify. This survey is confusing.
alterpride 6 months ago
@alterpride
In your opinion, "gay tendency" is a misnomer. Sexuality is a spectrum, not an absolute. The Survey allow people to SELF-IDENTIFY, rather than have an outside force choose an identity for them. It is based on attractions, which is the 'tendency' part, & on actions. Consider the concept of a 'gay virgin', how can they be gay if they don't have sex? Well, it is because they have gay attractions or tendencies.
You can identify as straight, and still have same sex attractions.
blueboyblue 6 months ago
@blueboyblue It is not my opinion, it is the connotation of the word gay. To be straight and have "gay tendencies" is an oxymoron. They are mutually exclusive. That is why Kinsey devoted most of his scale to bisexuality. To infer that homo-erotic encounters create gay tendencies is contradicting your claim that sexuality is a scale. As far as the survey, you still haven't answered my question about how these people who self-identified as straight or bi were classified as "gay". Thanks.
alterpride 6 months ago
It took me until I was 20 to really call myself bisexual, I really did think I had to choose one. Thank you for helping me confirm my decision.
Lookdownhereiam 11 months ago
@Lookdownhereiam same here.
luvbites23 11 months ago
@Lookdownhereiam same. 19, for me, actually.
prodigychild1988 9 months ago
Human sexuality is fairly fluid. I don't know why people are so hung up on it. There are far more pressing problems in the world then arguing who is what or why that matters. You're wicked cute.
TheWhitelunar 11 months ago
and why is it that women are more open to admit that its more of a choice about being attracted to the same gender, and not hide behind the "its genetic" bullsh!t ?
xConxArtistx 11 months ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
what about men who like boys ??? is that wrong ?
is that just a sexual preference, or do even gay people see something wrong with that ?
what about people who like having sex with animals ? should we bend the rules, and let them live in society like there's no mental disorder causing those false needs ?
xConxArtistx 11 months ago
@xConxArtistx Adult human beings are the same as children and animals, so clearly heterosexuality is bad.
ZJemptv 11 months ago 38