Bang on. Except for one thing. If you're a guy with long hair, getting it washed proper in a basin feels like the routine rediscovery of a more accessible G-spot.
@MrPanzermaus My nearest hairdresser gives gel as a free extra, which is very nice considering its only £6.50 for a haircut in there. What I dont understand however is women's hairdressers, I walked past one the other day and they were advertising harcuts from £30 with one being as much as £86 and you cant just go in either, you need to make an appointment, makes me happy that I am not a woman as I can just decide "fair enough its too long now" and just walk in and have shorter hair in 5-10mins
Why is "like this but less so" such an impossible task for barbers to fill? It's not fucking hard! Assuming I was satisfied with my last haircut, cutting off a uniform length of hair should not by any means be bloody difficult. Yet I always have to explain the notion to them.
I couldn't agree more:D I hate getting a haircut. It's worse than going to the dentist. At least at the dentist you're not expected to have an inane conversation. You can actually reply with grunts, and noone thinks you're anti-social for it!
Some barbers can be cocks as well. I remember I once had this really over-dramatic Italian fellow who genuinely got upset with me when I told him I wasn't quite satisfied with how my hair was looking thus far (even though he had asked me first). Safe to say it put me off going there again.
The worst though, are 20-24 year old girls who won't stop talking to you when you're sitting there. You really feel like telling them to "shut the fuck up".
I feel like at the end they cut him off because be was about to have a melt down about hair cuts so they just cut the camera (without telling him) and he sat their rating for another 10 minutes =) got to love David
I don't like it when the person cutting your hair questions how I want my hair. If I said I want it like that, then I obviously want it like so. Even worse is when they say what could be improved and say/end with the word "trendy". I hate that word, because, for one, it means I can't look like I want, and secondly, it often means that I'll look like a douche.
I actually don't mind the hair washing. I find it to be an enjoyable experience. The way they massage your scalp is wonderful.
I hate going to the hairdressers - i feel judged by my choices, like they're the hair experts and think what i'm asking for is ridiculous. Asking for something that's not en-vogue / a la mode means i'm immediately labelled a freak and have to sit staring into my poorly made coffee as the group of overly made-up harridens and gayer-than-Nyan-cat guys snigger at me and draw straws as to who will have to commit the stylise suicide that is cutting my hair.
I love getting my hair cut. I like the cups of tea they bring, the massage along with the hair washing. Finishing off with a nice, tidy trim. I do however go to the same hairdressers so I know what to expect, although they never remember me in there
@jwatcg0 there are a number of relatively old stand up comedy bits about the mirror showing the back of your head being a waste of time or not having the courage to complain to the hairdresser when they show you the finished back of your head and you think it's ghastly. It became a bit of a cliched joke :)
Going slightly baldish in my early 20s is probably the best thing that could have happened. I shave my head with a buzzer or razor about 2-3 times per week and I never have to go get a haircut ever again. Well, I say get a haircut, what I mean is pay to waste my time in an uncomfortable chair in front of a mirror. Watching yourself in a mirror for an extended period of time is only cool if you're okay with what is staring back at you. And even then it's boring.
Two years late in response here; but the hair-wetting is generally used to make it easier to cut depending on your hair type. Usually we wash the hair because this too makes it easier to cut; and also it's nice when I take my hands away from your head and they don't smell like greasy scalp and aren't covered in somebody else's dandruff.
Hate going to the hairdressers because no sodding hairman (technical term) ever listens to me and I always shudder in fear that, by the end, I'm going to look like an absolute twat, which I do, EVERY TIME.
Last time I went to the hairdressers I ask for 2 inches off later on nearly all my hair was gone, hate hairdresses also I missed that feeling of wind blowing through my hair
I looove having my hair washed! There's just something so relaxing about it! Although I do hate when the hairdresser asks "so where are you going tonight?"... Am I not allowed to get a haircut without the presumption that I'm grooming myself for a night on the town??
@speebyda He is reading this. You know how hard it would be to memorize all of this, and what's it matter if he does read it? It doesn't affect the quality of the video at all so what's the problem?
@TJ5899 Well yes it does affect the quality, he is quite obviously reading this not just because he's looking off camera but because the way he's talking. It may be fine for you that he's performing worse than an actor in a bad soap, but then I'm not as easily impressed as you obviously are.
@speebyda He's not an actor, he's a comedian. Just because he isn't yelling and talking real fast to fit in as many jokes as possible doesn't make him a bad comedian. Just means that he has a few really good jokes rather than a bunch of mediocre jokes.
I totally agree with the mirror. My hair gets quite long in the back so I'd like to know I'm leaving with hair short enough to not turn into a mullet in a matter of days.
i actually like the hair washing for the scalp massage. when you get massages, people to the back, neck and shoulders, but never the scalp. scalp and face massages.... they are the best
he's right about the gradings. I mean I deliberately get part of my hair cut as a 6. it's a bit shorter than I really want but that way the ratio's always right and if it's not it's only a smallbit out and it'll grow into something i'd like in no time.
Yeah, from age 3-18 I went to the same guy that my entire family went to and every time I went I could just say "A good trim please" and he knew what that meant. Than I went to Uni and that flew out the window.
i just LOLed caus iv been sat here with this BUSH untop of my head for like 3 weeks now, its so bad i stopped combing it last week but i STILL dont wanna go 2 a hairdresser because they ask u awkward questions about ur life, and dont cut it the way u tell them to anyway and then therz the whole emberassment about how 'oily/dry/dandruffy' ur hair is! :^(
I don't like having to try and describe to them how I want my hair cut but I do find the whole process extremely relaxing. Almost like a cheap head massage, soothing :)
I rather like getting my hair cut. But that might just be place I go. You go in get pampered for a bit and then you leave looking slightly more attractive than when you arrived.
@50033836 once i got a haircut where they had made it look terrible and too short, i'm fairly sure i hid in the other room and cried, i was also a lot younger at this point.
I wonder if anyone gets their hair washed by a hairdresser, then thinks, "Wow, my hair looks so nice now it's clean; I don't want a haircut any more".
I quite like it when they wet your hair with the plant squirter, cools me down and keeps the hair clumped together which helps to avoid an itch when a few stray hair jump down your back!
I concur, I am sadly cursed with a full head of hair that shows no sign of retreating. I am deeply envious of the balding. They get to have number one's all over and be praised for 'being honest about it'. I get a number one and people think I'm a BNP member.
@Pithyoneliner If you live in any country EXCEPT Britain, you can put your national flag up outside your house and people just think that you're being patriotic.....
@xraycortina It's because when British people put their flag outside their window they're obviously throwing symbolic racial abuse at the ethnic communities, disgusting behaviour....
The part I hate the most is when the barber asks if I'd like my eyebrows trimmed. And the thing I hate about the bit with the mirror is realizing that I now officially have more hair on my back than on my head.
BTW, I love hearing people complain about *not* losing their hair. Such delectable irony. Yum.
This is why my hair is shaved. Not only can I do it myself, it requires absolutely no maintenance. Plus I'm less likely to look like a twat in photos 20 years from now.
They use the hairwashing as a delay tactic when there are too many clients or they're running behind. When you sit there for almost 20 minutes and they're still massaging shampoo or conditioner into your hair, you start to clue onto that.
Actually, there /are/ standards in haircutting. 0=0.5mm, 1=3mm, 2=6mm, 3=9mm and 4=12mm. These are the numbers on the attachable combs on the electric hair cutting machine. So, what I usually do is sit down on the chair, say "3 on the sides, 4 on top", and I get, what is for me, a standard haircut. Of course, Mitchell likes to maintain his hair far longer than 12mm, and therefore, he is forever trapped in the horror that are the scissors.
Apart from being hilarious, I agree very much so with David. I've actually done it and made the decision to cut my own hair! And guess what? It's exactly as easy as it seems!
Personally I think it's worse for women. I'm female and I dread having my hair cut, it's so awkward and the hairdresser almost expects girls to carry on the conversation they've attempted to spark up. Just trim my hair damn it so I can get out of here!
I think part of the reason I've grown my hair down to my waist is just so I only have to go in the hairdressers once a year or less. xD
I do say, the best part of a hair cut is the hair wash! Almost a massage, usually performed by a nice girl (and if not you can still close your eyes and pretend).
Once a month, by a cracking bird, no washing, not talking, no how are you's .. just inappropriate closeness, same style and all done within 20 minutes...job done till death
I had my hair cut in Japan once and afterwards the 60 something year-old man who had cut it began massaging my scalp, neck, and shoulders. I was mortified but didn't dare say anything to stop him for fear of offfending him. I was relieved to see that others got the same treatment.
I have a good "every month until one of us dies" arrangement with my barber. I don't have to specify what I want, which is good. Provided I die first, because otherwise I'll have to find out what my haircut is...
I personaly enjoy getting my hair cut. For a practical reason to accept the hair washing, not your soap and water you're using to clean it. Also it's a nice cranial massage I find relaxing. The spray is an option from barber to barber, whoever finds it easier to work with wet hair or not. And if you're having a really hard time figuring out how describe your hair, bring a camera, have them take pictures of the finished product, then show those to the next person who cuts it.
I am a professional hair stylist. I have ethic hair and it has to be cut dry. If you have no ethic hair then it should be wet down to make it easier to make it easier to make it even, the shampoo is up to the salon. if you don't want it the can spray it with water. But you have to check the scalp to make sure no lice. Just an FYI
I have a hairdressers I regularly go to, I think they realised I'm not a talker and so now never talk to me. Two on the side three on the top, cut, cut, cut and I'm out... And yet I Still hate going. WHATS WRONG WITH ME!?
i was literally thinking before david mitchell defended the mirror bit, that i never get why comedians joke about it, as it is the only useful part of the service, if we had no hair on the back of our heads hairdressers would be redundant
I always get asked "How do you usually cut it?" I don't! That's why I come to people like you! I'm under the assumption that these people are trained. I put my trust into their hands to make me look presentable - that's all I ask. If they start asking ME a bunch of questions about how to cut my hair, I panic.
..I used to enjoy getting my haircut by this Greek woman who looked like Nigella Lawson and when she'd cut my hair I'd look right down her top and enjoy watching her boobs jiggle as she snipped away. Now I hate it because she left and I have to get my haircut by her fat older brother.
i have absolutely no idea why but my hairdresser is completely TERRIFIED of me! which is why i have been going to the same one for the last 6 years. They have my drink ready for me when i come in exactly how i like it and ask my permission for everything... and they can tell just by looking at me when i dislike what they've done and want them to fix it. Maybe its because im friends with the owner but its one thing that always strikes me about going. i've done nothing to warrant such terror!
hahahaha i agree 100% with everything he just said, i thought I was the only one who hated this. ive been putting off getting my hair cut since june and in less than an hour it'll be december. plus it cost me 16 fucking quid last time. daylight robbery.
I thought I was the only person who experienced this. I now know im not alone. Ohh well, the bible may say long hair on a man is bad, but my shoulder length locks say otherwise ;)
Last time i went im pretty sure the fact i didnt know what i wanted, and lack of any shit to talk about .. led the woman to torture me in as much she could whilst pretending to be friendly. And as usual i walked out looking much as i had when id come in.
I never get though if your ment to wash ur hair before you go?
the thought of someone else touching my dirty hair is horrible.. but why wash it before i pay to get it washed...
I honestly shy away from having a hair cut because I feel I have nothing interesting to talk about. When I finally get around to it, i'm honestly insulted that they don't remember me or anything of the conversation we had previously but at least I can rely on old topics of conversation
Until I saw this I hadn't been able to admit it, but I, too, am afraid to have my hair cut. Thankfully I'm a woman so I don't have to face this social nightmare as often, but when I do it takes a lot longer. It's so terribly awkward and every time I go back it gets worse. Last time I went the hairdresser randomly asked me if I was a wrestling instructor. I am 5'3" and can say categorically that I do no such thing. I much prefer the dentist's to the hair salon, no offense to hairdressers.
I could not disagree more. The washing of my hair, even though it had usually just been washed, was highly enjoyable *when done by a reasonably attractive female* hairdresser. When done right, it's more akin to a massage. I've actually fallen asleep during it. The mirror for the back of my head, on the other hand, served as an unpleasant reminder that my need for hairdressers was coming to an end. Sigh. I can now cut my hair in about 3 minutes with a pair of electric sheep sheers.
i like the duckie
beepboopbeep100 16 hours ago
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Bang on. Except for one thing. If you're a guy with long hair, getting it washed proper in a basin feels like the routine rediscovery of a more accessible G-spot.
blueelectricsmoke 2 days ago
Comment removed
blueelectricsmoke 3 days ago
I just go to the haircutter and say "like usual" for years.
Curixq 5 days ago
they like washing it cause then they can charge you extra,
same thing goes with putting gel in your hair.
However if you decline there's always the risk you might end up with a sub-standard haircut
MrPanzermaus 1 week ago
@MrPanzermaus My nearest hairdresser gives gel as a free extra, which is very nice considering its only £6.50 for a haircut in there. What I dont understand however is women's hairdressers, I walked past one the other day and they were advertising harcuts from £30 with one being as much as £86 and you cant just go in either, you need to make an appointment, makes me happy that I am not a woman as I can just decide "fair enough its too long now" and just walk in and have shorter hair in 5-10mins
llpalm08 1 day ago
noo way im the same!!! i did this were i go up to the door and went away today!
geogodd 1 week ago
Hail the emperor of the socially awkward!
ComradeSparky24 1 week ago
Hair is harder to cut when dry and you are more likely to have it pulled out by the roots
I agree with everything apart from hairdressers who don't talk
NowhereBeats 1 week ago
Why is "like this but less so" such an impossible task for barbers to fill? It's not fucking hard! Assuming I was satisfied with my last haircut, cutting off a uniform length of hair should not by any means be bloody difficult. Yet I always have to explain the notion to them.
RPSM101 2 weeks ago in playlist Series 2 2
I couldn't agree more:D I hate getting a haircut. It's worse than going to the dentist. At least at the dentist you're not expected to have an inane conversation. You can actually reply with grunts, and noone thinks you're anti-social for it!
Zajuts149 2 weeks ago 2
Comment removed
IAmCaptainMarvel 2 weeks ago
@Zajuts149
Some barbers can be cocks as well. I remember I once had this really over-dramatic Italian fellow who genuinely got upset with me when I told him I wasn't quite satisfied with how my hair was looking thus far (even though he had asked me first). Safe to say it put me off going there again.
The worst though, are 20-24 year old girls who won't stop talking to you when you're sitting there. You really feel like telling them to "shut the fuck up".
IAmCaptainMarvel 2 weeks ago
I feel like at the end they cut him off because be was about to have a melt down about hair cuts so they just cut the camera (without telling him) and he sat their rating for another 10 minutes =) got to love David
forgetyourtroubles1 2 weeks ago 22
I don't like it when the person cutting your hair questions how I want my hair. If I said I want it like that, then I obviously want it like so. Even worse is when they say what could be improved and say/end with the word "trendy". I hate that word, because, for one, it means I can't look like I want, and secondly, it often means that I'll look like a douche.
I actually don't mind the hair washing. I find it to be an enjoyable experience. The way they massage your scalp is wonderful.
ddgafd 3 weeks ago
ahahaha I feel exactly this way.
"like this but less so"
leakeg 3 weeks ago 3
he's right about the mirror on the back of the head bit.
upallhours9 1 month ago
I think they wash the hair so that they can put some conditioner etc. which might help them not to damage the hair too much when cutting (?)
LuRawen 1 month ago
Jesus is our lord.
Giovanni222 1 month ago
@Giovanni222 Don't be a troll.
shrylock 1 month ago
@Giovanni222 Jesus was your lord. He's dead mate. Has been for a while now.
xSODxDeMoNiaC 3 weeks ago
I shave my own hair so I no longer have this problem. I think David Mitchell would look really weird with a skinhead, though.
TolpuddleMartyr 1 month ago
I like the internet because i know i'm not the only one with a particular and specified thought about something.
Like the on the verge of getting a haircut then putting it off for some mundane reason.
GazzyHUD 1 month ago
bored now...........
speebyda 1 month ago
I cut my own hair, clean up is a bother and the learning curve is a sine wave; but give it a shot.
bronzedivision 1 month ago
I hate going to the hairdressers - i feel judged by my choices, like they're the hair experts and think what i'm asking for is ridiculous. Asking for something that's not en-vogue / a la mode means i'm immediately labelled a freak and have to sit staring into my poorly made coffee as the group of overly made-up harridens and gayer-than-Nyan-cat guys snigger at me and draw straws as to who will have to commit the stylise suicide that is cutting my hair.
So yes - thanks David, thought was just me
MiceHellHillPips 1 month ago
@MiceHellHillPips
Maybe you should go to a different salon?
ChainsawVsGod 1 month ago
I love getting my hair cut. I like the cups of tea they bring, the massage along with the hair washing. Finishing off with a nice, tidy trim. I do however go to the same hairdressers so I know what to expect, although they never remember me in there
matthauke 1 month ago
@jwatcg0 there are a number of relatively old stand up comedy bits about the mirror showing the back of your head being a waste of time or not having the courage to complain to the hairdresser when they show you the finished back of your head and you think it's ghastly. It became a bit of a cliched joke :)
ssummers11 1 month ago
Could not agree more.
WalterLiddy 1 month ago
I've never been to get my hair cut at the hairdressers, my mums always done it:))) good old mum reliable yet naggy
Izaak247 1 month ago
Ahh, I've gone too long without hearing anyone say 'Ghastly'. Thanks Mr. Mitchell!
JaytheOstrich 1 month ago
people don't like the end because they never see the back of their head, and therefore don't care what it looks like
Rohmanator 1 month ago
Going slightly baldish in my early 20s is probably the best thing that could have happened. I shave my head with a buzzer or razor about 2-3 times per week and I never have to go get a haircut ever again. Well, I say get a haircut, what I mean is pay to waste my time in an uncomfortable chair in front of a mirror. Watching yourself in a mirror for an extended period of time is only cool if you're okay with what is staring back at you. And even then it's boring.
ronnysoeberg 1 month ago
I don't get the "which brings me to my text for the day... why's that the bit everyone makes jokes about..." WHAT???
jwatch0 2 months ago
Two years late in response here; but the hair-wetting is generally used to make it easier to cut depending on your hair type. Usually we wash the hair because this too makes it easier to cut; and also it's nice when I take my hands away from your head and they don't smell like greasy scalp and aren't covered in somebody else's dandruff.
ARRDARMA 2 months ago
I hate hiarcuts they ponitless i am paying someone who removes my hiar and in turn I get a cold head making me think slow. thanks a Fucking Lot
brawlteen14 2 months ago
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@brawlteen14 "I hate hiarcuts they ponitless i am paying someone who removes my hiar and "
You have got to be fucking kidding me, you're watching David Mitchell's rants? Or if it's just some type of dyslexia I apologize of course.
MrKasiainen 2 months ago
"Like this, but less so."
Damn it all. If I wasn't American, I may use that. As it is, I don't think I could pull it off.
CyanMedic 2 months ago 2
2.02
lolacola2 2 months ago
the last bit is so awkward! its like, I don't give a fuck, I'm not going to be looking at it
Rohmanator 3 months ago 2
Hate going to the hairdressers because no sodding hairman (technical term) ever listens to me and I always shudder in fear that, by the end, I'm going to look like an absolute twat, which I do, EVERY TIME.
aaron9099 3 months ago
Last time I went to the hairdressers I ask for 2 inches off later on nearly all my hair was gone, hate hairdresses also I missed that feeling of wind blowing through my hair
MrHowdareyou 4 months ago
you can tell he's just had his hair cut, and came up with this rant
captainchild 4 months ago
I looove having my hair washed! There's just something so relaxing about it! Although I do hate when the hairdresser asks "so where are you going tonight?"... Am I not allowed to get a haircut without the presumption that I'm grooming myself for a night on the town??
mrsholloway77 4 months ago
Anyone notice he's looking slightly left of camera, like he's reading this.....
speebyda 4 months ago
@speebyda He is reading this. You know how hard it would be to memorize all of this, and what's it matter if he does read it? It doesn't affect the quality of the video at all so what's the problem?
TJ5899 4 months ago
@TJ5899 Well yes it does affect the quality, he is quite obviously reading this not just because he's looking off camera but because the way he's talking. It may be fine for you that he's performing worse than an actor in a bad soap, but then I'm not as easily impressed as you obviously are.
speebyda 4 months ago
@speebyda He's not an actor, he's a comedian. Just because he isn't yelling and talking real fast to fit in as many jokes as possible doesn't make him a bad comedian. Just means that he has a few really good jokes rather than a bunch of mediocre jokes.
TJ5899 4 months ago
I totally agree with the mirror. My hair gets quite long in the back so I'd like to know I'm leaving with hair short enough to not turn into a mullet in a matter of days.
NickStedmon 4 months ago
i actually like the hair washing for the scalp massage. when you get massages, people to the back, neck and shoulders, but never the scalp. scalp and face massages.... they are the best
jakieem 4 months ago
he's right about the gradings. I mean I deliberately get part of my hair cut as a 6. it's a bit shorter than I really want but that way the ratio's always right and if it's not it's only a smallbit out and it'll grow into something i'd like in no time.
Papped1710 4 months ago
"How long is it since you last had it cut?"
By my reckoning it's three years and three months, almost to the day. Do I win?
MagnusBruce 4 months ago
I've decided to grow my hair for the first time. I love it, my friends hate it. =]
PS, I found the scalp massage and washing hair quite relaxing. Maybe cause even wind going through my hair gives me a chil of orgasm? :/
IAAAT 5 months ago
Yeah, from age 3-18 I went to the same guy that my entire family went to and every time I went I could just say "A good trim please" and he knew what that meant. Than I went to Uni and that flew out the window.
EnglishGavz 5 months ago
i just LOLed caus iv been sat here with this BUSH untop of my head for like 3 weeks now, its so bad i stopped combing it last week but i STILL dont wanna go 2 a hairdresser because they ask u awkward questions about ur life, and dont cut it the way u tell them to anyway and then therz the whole emberassment about how 'oily/dry/dandruffy' ur hair is! :^(
phoney98 5 months ago
Haha "i would like a number 143F"
TheWritersMind 6 months ago
I don't like having to try and describe to them how I want my hair cut but I do find the whole process extremely relaxing. Almost like a cheap head massage, soothing :)
Harperlarp 6 months ago
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There's this douche that keeps plagiarising these rants as his own. It really annoys me: what a slimeball!
chrismindhouse.blogspot.com/2010/07/i-hate-getting-my-hair-cut.html
AKungAU 6 months ago
Google "Conflicting Loyalties" A53268131 for an equally humorous, though quite different, approach to the art of interacting with one's barber.
TRiG.
qwertyTRiG 7 months ago
I think haircuts/hairdressers have been done too much, I can't help but feel that it's a weak source of material
SirKanti1 7 months ago
People joke about the part where they ask if you like it? That's news to me.
Eaglestrike117 7 months ago
@Eaglestrike117 Micheal McIntyre did it once...
slightlyinsaneFTW 7 months ago
@slightlyinsaneFTW I'm not saying it's not true, I'm just saying I never heard that before. And I don't even know who Michael McIntyre is.
Eaglestrike117 7 months ago
@Eaglestrike117 Oh, okay...You should look him up, He's one of my fav comedians
slightlyinsaneFTW 7 months ago
@Eaglestrike117 McIntyre is a twat who laughs at his own jokes.
xraycortina 2 months ago
@slightlyinsaneFTW Not quite; he joked about holding a mirror up, not asking if he liked the haircut.
xILambyIx 7 months ago
@xILambyIx He joked about asking whether they liked the haircut too! I quote:
"At this point, I don't think any man has ever reacted in any way other than 'Yes'."
slightlyinsaneFTW 7 months ago
@slightlyinsaneFTW Ah yes, well remembered.
xILambyIx 7 months ago
@xILambyIx thx
slightlyinsaneFTW 7 months ago
seriously, I don't get this guy...
GreycatRademenes 7 months ago
Why have a haircut?I haven't had one for at least ten years, and on that occasion a friend of mine did it.
AndersPuschel 7 months ago
Wetting hair makes it easier to judge length and cut evenly. Thus the squirt-bottle and hair wetting.
loulakey 7 months ago
"Not only a haircut, but even a hair wash! Hooray!"
NightmareCinemaChild 7 months ago 15
Its because people have gotten so used to irregularity, discord and damage that the fine parts of life seems amusing :D
jvaheed 8 months ago
Was I supposed to have found that funny?
Willforgeography 8 months ago
@Willforgeography I hope not.
andyAAWW 8 months ago
i dont know how this man can say 'id never have the wit to do that'. if mitchell doesnt have the wit then the rest f us are pretty much fucked
TheCheweeRevolutions 8 months ago 4
Did anyone else wonder why the sink wasn't reflected in the mirror?
patdfever85 9 months ago 3
@patdfever85 The sink is actually a shape shifting vampire.
monkeytail2002 7 months ago
Comment removed
themilonoblet 9 months ago
I rather like getting my hair cut. But that might just be place I go. You go in get pampered for a bit and then you leave looking slightly more attractive than when you arrived.
contempgirl 9 months ago 2
guess being in the guard makes it easy. I just go a few days before drill weekend and get 5 on top and 1 on the sides
Wurtle38 9 months ago
@ttncool
Because the bathroom mirror doesn't exist. He's sitting in front of a green screen.
GregoriusTheBrown 9 months ago
"So I could go in, ask for a number 14-3-f, and know what I am getting precisely what i got last time" xD
noodleboiii 9 months ago 6
Actually, I don't like the bit where they ask you if you like it at the end.
Usually, I find it's too short, and I can't help but think "Well, to be honest, I can't ask you to put some more on.
50033836 9 months ago 70
@50033836 once i got a haircut where they had made it look terrible and too short, i'm fairly sure i hid in the other room and cried, i was also a lot younger at this point.
tobiosnmakky 4 months ago in playlist More videos from davidmitchellsoapbox
@tobiosnmakky
i think this is possibly the strangest thing i have ever read on the internet.
perrykillsfrogs1 4 months ago
@perrykillsfrogs1 I believe you have not read a lot of the internet.
tobiosnmakky 4 months ago 9
Hair dressers? It's all about hair salons son! ^_~
Synraii 9 months ago
I wonder if anyone gets their hair washed by a hairdresser, then thinks, "Wow, my hair looks so nice now it's clean; I don't want a haircut any more".
Pedgerow 9 months ago
I quite like it when they wet your hair with the plant squirter, cools me down and keeps the hair clumped together which helps to avoid an itch when a few stray hair jump down your back!
bohemianbond 9 months ago
LOOOUUUUD AAAAD!!!!! quiet feature
Yebisu22 9 months ago
I picked a regular barbershop, and I've never been happier with the quality of the service I receive.
Although, I do still make excuses like "hmm, maybe it's going to get cold again. Best wait until June". :D
MrV902 9 months ago
I concur, I am sadly cursed with a full head of hair that shows no sign of retreating. I am deeply envious of the balding. They get to have number one's all over and be praised for 'being honest about it'. I get a number one and people think I'm a BNP member.
Curse you folicles, die already.
Pithyoneliner 10 months ago 46
@Pithyoneliner If you live in any country EXCEPT Britain, you can put your national flag up outside your house and people just think that you're being patriotic.....
xraycortina 3 months ago
@xraycortina It's because when British people put their flag outside their window they're obviously throwing symbolic racial abuse at the ethnic communities, disgusting behaviour....
aaron9099 3 months ago
@Pithyoneliner Go for a grade 3 all over.
Look like a slightly reformed BNP member. P'raps more tolerable to you.
enisylo 2 months ago
@Pithyoneliner They say thinking a lot thins your hair
So get to Hmmmm-ing
TheLemonGrenade 1 month ago
@TheLemonGrenade I must be a fucking modern Descartes, then.
The part I hate the most is when the barber asks if I'd like my eyebrows trimmed. And the thing I hate about the bit with the mirror is realizing that I now officially have more hair on my back than on my head.
BTW, I love hearing people complain about *not* losing their hair. Such delectable irony. Yum.
ELuhn 1 month ago
i dont think ive actually ever "laughed out loud" before whilst on my own...
genius!
Lougy93 10 months ago
@xbyiu97 I actually did that last week! :D
kingsquish2 10 months ago
My mom's a hairdresser and i think she always does a great job. :)
3Jammy 10 months ago
i have trouble beleive David never had the wit to remember one barber who did a good job. everything else was spot on.
greatsayain 10 months ago
This is why my hair is shaved. Not only can I do it myself, it requires absolutely no maintenance. Plus I'm less likely to look like a twat in photos 20 years from now.
Dextrous 10 months ago
They use the hairwashing as a delay tactic when there are too many clients or they're running behind. When you sit there for almost 20 minutes and they're still massaging shampoo or conditioner into your hair, you start to clue onto that.
datebiskot 10 months ago
Spot on. He speaks for me.
WalterLiddy 10 months ago
Actually, there /are/ standards in haircutting. 0=0.5mm, 1=3mm, 2=6mm, 3=9mm and 4=12mm. These are the numbers on the attachable combs on the electric hair cutting machine. So, what I usually do is sit down on the chair, say "3 on the sides, 4 on top", and I get, what is for me, a standard haircut. Of course, Mitchell likes to maintain his hair far longer than 12mm, and therefore, he is forever trapped in the horror that are the scissors.
vane00kn 10 months ago
PERFECT
Spenakis 10 months ago
im going 9 months without a hair cut :D
toffeespartan 11 months ago
Apart from being hilarious, I agree very much so with David. I've actually done it and made the decision to cut my own hair! And guess what? It's exactly as easy as it seems!
Brunswick999 11 months ago
should david mitchell do a rant on bulldog moisturizer?
comtraya101 11 months ago 2
RIGHT! YOU! I WANT YOU TO CUT MY HAIR THIS TIME EVERY MONTH FROM NOW UNTIL ONE OF US DIES!
hunrahel 11 months ago 3
Going in and asking for a number when you get your head shaved doesn't mean you'll get what you want/ask for...
I got an uneven number four once, long bits and shorter bits all over the place. How the hell do you fuck that up?! :/
cookiejar243 11 months ago
It is so incredibly obvious that he is reading the autocue. Its actually distracting.
kez0208 11 months ago
@kez0208 actors do the eye thing in movies all the time. relax.
alexhamster1134 11 months ago
i find the worst bit is the awkward convesations with the hairdresser
Annicathryn 11 months ago 8
Personally I think it's worse for women. I'm female and I dread having my hair cut, it's so awkward and the hairdresser almost expects girls to carry on the conversation they've attempted to spark up. Just trim my hair damn it so I can get out of here!
I think part of the reason I've grown my hair down to my waist is just so I only have to go in the hairdressers once a year or less. xD
blinkalink 1 year ago 7
I do say, the best part of a hair cut is the hair wash! Almost a massage, usually performed by a nice girl (and if not you can still close your eyes and pretend).
revesvans 1 year ago
This is absolutely how I feel about having my hair cut. It's not only men who feel this way, I hate it too.
Gilari 1 year ago
@MarkGVid, you couldn't, don't try.
Saluotok 1 year ago
lol yeah i hate getting my haircut bra
420FourTwenty 1 year ago
It is usually easier to cut hair when it is wet.
at least it was for many of my class mates when learned how to cut hair.
dexdex1560 1 year ago
"LIKE" David Mitchell's Soap Box on FaceBook.
If ya want. No pressure. Don't wanna sound like some evil dictator or anything.
NozinAroun81 1 year ago
Once a month, by a cracking bird, no washing, not talking, no how are you's .. just inappropriate closeness, same style and all done within 20 minutes...job done till death
MrNiceHk 1 year ago
dont mess with the zohan!
AltShiftSpam 1 year ago
I had my hair cut in Japan once and afterwards the 60 something year-old man who had cut it began massaging my scalp, neck, and shoulders. I was mortified but didn't dare say anything to stop him for fear of offfending him. I was relieved to see that others got the same treatment.
Aparition42 1 year ago 20
@Aparition42 r u a female or a male
if u are a female then ok u were getting perved up
if u are a male then u fail at life lol
u7alll 1 year ago
@u7alll Male, but that doesn'tprove I wasn't getting "perved up". The Biggest fail is that I paid for it.
Aparition42 1 year ago
@Aparition42 I met someone from China and he was rather pissed when he got his haircut here in Canada and didn't get a massage.
weggles 5 months ago in playlist More videos from davidmitchellsoapbox 2
I have a good "every month until one of us dies" arrangement with my barber. I don't have to specify what I want, which is good. Provided I die first, because otherwise I'll have to find out what my haircut is...
ohmydinosare 1 year ago
I personaly enjoy getting my hair cut. For a practical reason to accept the hair washing, not your soap and water you're using to clean it. Also it's a nice cranial massage I find relaxing. The spray is an option from barber to barber, whoever finds it easier to work with wet hair or not. And if you're having a really hard time figuring out how describe your hair, bring a camera, have them take pictures of the finished product, then show those to the next person who cuts it.
Jyhad367 1 year ago
I wish i could make videos like this although i don't think i could CUT IT as a comedian.
MarkGVid 1 year ago
@MarkGVid AHH nice :L
MissOwlee 1 year ago
2:52 : Because Mr Mitchell, when a hairdresser shows you a mirror and says "is that okay?" You can hardly say "no its not okay, put some back on" :/
Samuelfindlay 1 year ago 10
i like my hair being washed especially by an attractive 17 year old hairdressing student.
jimmehrhinox 1 year ago 4
Its like hes reading my mind.
elgar101 1 year ago 4
I used to like the mirror bit, but it now shows my bald patch, and a 26 thats something I dont want to see.
TorchwoodUK 1 year ago
I am a professional hair stylist. I have ethic hair and it has to be cut dry. If you have no ethic hair then it should be wet down to make it easier to make it easier to make it even, the shampoo is up to the salon. if you don't want it the can spray it with water. But you have to check the scalp to make sure no lice. Just an FYI
LeaveItWithSin 1 year ago
"Someone is proposing to wash me for money...that makes me uncomfortable."
XD
Oh my God, I love this man.
ColdestBeauty 1 year ago 171
I have a hairdressers I regularly go to, I think they realised I'm not a talker and so now never talk to me. Two on the side three on the top, cut, cut, cut and I'm out... And yet I Still hate going. WHATS WRONG WITH ME!?
IAMARAGHAST 1 year ago
For once I disagree with David Mitchell, although this one still made me laugh. Having my hair washed is my favorite part of getting my hair cut!
canadiangirl85 1 year ago 3
i was literally thinking before david mitchell defended the mirror bit, that i never get why comedians joke about it, as it is the only useful part of the service, if we had no hair on the back of our heads hairdressers would be redundant
etocadet 1 year ago
I always get asked "How do you usually cut it?" I don't! That's why I come to people like you! I'm under the assumption that these people are trained. I put my trust into their hands to make me look presentable - that's all I ask. If they start asking ME a bunch of questions about how to cut my hair, I panic.
timdaughte 1 year ago
..I used to enjoy getting my haircut by this Greek woman who looked like Nigella Lawson and when she'd cut my hair I'd look right down her top and enjoy watching her boobs jiggle as she snipped away. Now I hate it because she left and I have to get my haircut by her fat older brother.
Dungarth 1 year ago
I only wished he touched on the fringe...... '' How would you like the fringe? ''
''eh, in proportion to the rest of my hair, thanks''
86Etl86 1 year ago 2
HD is amazing. I can read the teleprompter in David's eyes.
euancraine 1 year ago 2
i have absolutely no idea why but my hairdresser is completely TERRIFIED of me! which is why i have been going to the same one for the last 6 years. They have my drink ready for me when i come in exactly how i like it and ask my permission for everything... and they can tell just by looking at me when i dislike what they've done and want them to fix it. Maybe its because im friends with the owner but its one thing that always strikes me about going. i've done nothing to warrant such terror!
humerusscootering 1 year ago
I sometimes get someone really attractive washing my hair and get uncomfortable. As a teenager I nearly came that way.
Al1981X 1 year ago
There should be an option to antithesis yourself prior to the haircut so you can avoid the small talk.
MMG008 1 year ago
Strangely no hairdresser ever talked to me more than it was needed. Maybe it says something abot me though...
EugeneMoscow 1 year ago
OMG I LOVE this :) LOL. Thank you :)
AskSanAnything 1 year ago
2:40 EPIC DUCK!!
4at4ish 1 year ago
hahahaha i agree 100% with everything he just said, i thought I was the only one who hated this. ive been putting off getting my hair cut since june and in less than an hour it'll be december. plus it cost me 16 fucking quid last time. daylight robbery.
jimmyshitbags 1 year ago
@jimmyshitbags
I resent paying £18 (yes, eighteen fucking pounds!) for someone to go apeshit on my head with a pair of scissors for all of 25 minutes.
So I don't bother going.
BaronOfStuff 1 year ago
"like this but less so"
absolute, untouchable genius
xbyiu97 1 year ago 234
@xbyiu97 I totally agree!!1
Spenakis 10 months ago
@xbyiu97
No that's not. .. I'VE said that before!! MOST of this was ingenious- that was a fairly standard instruction.
SubtleChaotic 9 months ago
It takes far too long if you are a girl, sometimes up to 2 hours after washing, cutting and blowdrying
daprettypiggy 1 year ago
I get my hair done by the same girl who's done my hair since I was 12 years old. I never ask for the same hairstyle; I love getting my hair done =D
PrincessIMYM 1 year ago
It was great when I was a #2. Sometimes I'd have a #1, but worry about looking like a skinhead, and therefore avoid polo shirts or checked shirts.
harrifer3000 1 year ago
I thought I was the only person who experienced this. I now know im not alone. Ohh well, the bible may say long hair on a man is bad, but my shoulder length locks say otherwise ;)
sakar181 1 year ago
that's odd I find the howl proses of getting a hair cut sickeningly therapeutic witch is odd because I'm probably even more inhibited then David
255ad 1 year ago
Girls so do not have it easy!
you have so many options!
Layers, feathering, fringe, side fringe, straightened, blow dried!
Let alone length!
Or bring in a photo of someone you are never gonna look like.
When all i want is for it to look better than it does now for the minimal amount of money
and somehow it always looks like a slight trim and still costs £30-50
... so ive been to a hairdresser about 3 times in my life...
(not including my friend who happens to be a trained hairdresser YAY)
LittleMissEvel 1 year ago
@LittleMissEvel
Last time i went im pretty sure the fact i didnt know what i wanted, and lack of any shit to talk about .. led the woman to torture me in as much she could whilst pretending to be friendly. And as usual i walked out looking much as i had when id come in.
I never get though if your ment to wash ur hair before you go?
the thought of someone else touching my dirty hair is horrible.. but why wash it before i pay to get it washed...
LittleMissEvel 1 year ago
I honestly shy away from having a hair cut because I feel I have nothing interesting to talk about. When I finally get around to it, i'm honestly insulted that they don't remember me or anything of the conversation we had previously but at least I can rely on old topics of conversation
PocusUK 1 year ago
I hate having my hair cut. It's hard to convince my sons to go regularly when I avoid it as much as possible ...
patobeirne 1 year ago
Until I saw this I hadn't been able to admit it, but I, too, am afraid to have my hair cut. Thankfully I'm a woman so I don't have to face this social nightmare as often, but when I do it takes a lot longer. It's so terribly awkward and every time I go back it gets worse. Last time I went the hairdresser randomly asked me if I was a wrestling instructor. I am 5'3" and can say categorically that I do no such thing. I much prefer the dentist's to the hair salon, no offense to hairdressers.
sjbodell 1 year ago
As a hairstylist, I can honestly tell you. The hair wash, is for our benefit.
Leeanna69 1 year ago 2
I could not disagree more. The washing of my hair, even though it had usually just been washed, was highly enjoyable *when done by a reasonably attractive female* hairdresser. When done right, it's more akin to a massage. I've actually fallen asleep during it. The mirror for the back of my head, on the other hand, served as an unpleasant reminder that my need for hairdressers was coming to an end. Sigh. I can now cut my hair in about 3 minutes with a pair of electric sheep sheers.