Added: 3 years ago
From: sxephil
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  • You were right, you could get that law passed in Texas. =)

  • for me, maybe that a ex friend of mine would be executed for the FIRST time he complains about his so called "girlfriends" after my presidential run and election to the supreme overlord of Finland

  • you fag, suck the jizz

  • TEXAS! :P as far as gay marriage. the topic is still relevant.. .and hey if straight people can fuck up by getting married so can homosexual people... just saying. (law i would pass... decriminalize weed.) :)

  • I'd also rule that gays can do whatever they want. Infact, if you're straight, you aren't aloud to marry.

  • u rip on people for driving a F-150??? I tell u what if u drive a IMPORT (Honda, Toyota or Nissan) ur in the CLOSET N NEED TO COME OUT.....

    Imports

    making a 11 sec run is a lot like comin out of the closet.. U may suprise a few but ur still GAY..... Take ur shitty ass no styling under horsepower lil ricer n drive off a cliff....

  • @Thegreatjoker13 uh oh look like someone's compensating. :)

  • I hate YOU. Douchebag of the millenium.

  • The divide was never mended...

  • my fav episode

  • soo... are you like the new ray william johnson

  • @zebaz58 no considering that its 2011 and RWJ is now the most subscribed

  • @veniceiceman LOL damn that was a long time ago i posted that comment i forgot about it XD

  • i dont agree with about anything he says but he is very VERY funny

  • anyone who makes that pose with the arms up and elbows out, you know the "wtf you lookin at" pose... 14 1/2 years in a maximum security prison... if you do it in prison you get a new sentence of 14 1/2 years on top of whatever else you have already.

  • Hmm term limits for congress, one pool that all the canadates draw from rather than a campain fund for each one. And (this is the big one) bills should stand alone and be no more than 3 pages in length. No piggybacking, and keep the word twisting lawyers out of our goverment as much as we can. Thats what i would try to pass.

  • ban the word "lol" when it does not make any sence.

    exsample: going to the shop to buy a newpaper lol

  • LOL @ "I could get that passed in texas!"

  • i miss this intro.

  • @slipperywhenwet5 I MISS THIS INTRO TOO!!

    Phil, screw your other intros. It affects your views...yeah, your other intros SUCK!

  • Legalize weed

    I don't smoke it

    but I'd like for my mother to be able to chill out and stay chilled

    Instead of being chilled out for an hour

    then freaking out thinking she's gonna get caught

  • QOTD: Legalize giving me a sweet ass car on my 16th birthday

  • if i was president my ruling would be - NO *UCKIN HOMEWORK EVER (if u gave out homework u would go to jail for 4 years!!!) n NO TAKS!!! ( they spend the whole year preparing 4 this stupid taks when i think they should be preparing u 4 the job u would like 2 do! or 4 life just cover the main things like managing money, how to cook, n 4 some ppl learn to read a clock! n ect.)

  • @AthinaMuniz17 ... Its just me, but i think u will b workin in a takSI

  • but phil oprah lives in santa barbara

  • how could u fier someone :(

  • if you drive drunk you cant have a license, ever like in Europe.

  • @scimd20 Just... oh so wrong.

  • The big picture is that both Mccain and Obama are puppets, but unfortunately most people are to busy fighting or flaming the other side to wake up and start looking for strings.

  • your hurting my cub loving feelings phil..... probably right though...

  • if you live in texas u are allowed to snipe Illeagal aliens coming over the boarder

  • QOTD: legalize gay marriage

  • QOTD: a law giving u 10-20 crimes where ur normally punished, after, 1 year prison and 5 new lives, then, DEATH

  • gay marriage, I'm not gay though

  • LOL TEXAS AND DEATH PENALTYS

  • my law would be HOT LEISBIANS NOW

  • lol I guess Texas is free game for you lol always making fun of us :,( XD

  • my president ruling...GAYS CAN MARRY ANYWHERE ANY TIME

  • yeah, that would definitely get passed in texas, worst drivers fucking ever

  • "guess what you need to go to LA."

    "who is this?"

    "shut up and go to LA!"

    "dammit."

    haha

  • if i were president, then i'll take over the world!!!! all bow down as i cause major sweet ass chaos and misery around the world!!!

    MUAHAHAHA!

  • legalize pot...........its long overdue ffs!!

  • if you watch this show then you must know about the douchebag of the day

    now think of someone that stupid

    and on pot

    the world would end

    just saying when you watch a show talking about the stupid people in the world you start to think

    damn maybe we should stop being stupid

  • *high five*

  • Dude, best car ever made is the any Koenigsegg CCGT

    Only one was ever made...

  • No it was the toyota hilux the best piece o crap that you'd ever want

  • don't be hatin' on Chicago man

  • anyone who fails to commit suicide gets 10 years of torture for failing that epically

  • QOTD: Marijuana and prostitution =) not because im trying to kiss ass to you phil but what you say makes a whole lotta sense

  • legalize recreational use of marijuana

  • Whenever someone cuts me off, I just vreak check the fuck pit of them

  • texas, would totally vote that in. we love the death penalty!..and we've got road rage. :)

  • Running with a laptop,$1000 fine

  • problem with this nis that presidents really don't pass laws only on certain points mostly they execute laws they can however propose laws, the other problems is that much of the power is reserved for the states. The onbly way you would get gay marriage passed everywhere however is to either have the supreme court rule on it or pass an amendment to the constitution otherwise it is up to the state.

  • I would make gay marriage and abortions legal. Doesnt matter if I do or do not agree with it.

    Its about thinking that you have the right to decide that some people dont deserve choices.

    Maybe its just me, but I just dont get people justifying that.

  • i hate abortion and i love gay marriage, but i agree with you 100%. ..i'd vote for you. lol.

  • i agree with bradly675

  • YES! YES! I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THE AMERICAN THING! anyway, if i were president i would pass a law that.... I have no idea.... dammit.... oh well. whatever. that's all i've got to say.

  • Any crime that gets you in prison for 25 years or more is an automatic death sentence. This includes murders of any kind; direct (homicide), Indirect (suicide/accidental) or attempts.

  • Suicide should automatically get you a death sentence?? xD

  • I would change the national anthem to "Normal" by Porcupine Tree.

  • I think I would ban Uggs and Crocs.

  • THANKYOU!!! BAN BAN BAN!

  • All girls with a Flat chest get a FREE enlargement.........or death...

  • Legalize marijuana, because with all the fuss people make with saving the economy...dont waste food....all that shit, and yet marijuana can do SO MANY GOOD THINGS for you, people still hate it because someone a long time ago called it a drug and someone else decided to say it ruined lifes.

  • If i was president i think i would i would try to let that guy go. Who stole all that meat. I mean so what he like meat in his mouth and alot of it at that. And who are we to judge and the first law i want would be to elect me as a total dictator. And we go to war with Canada!!! Death to Candians. XD

  • i would pass a law that legalized that green plant that use to be a major source of income for the founding fathers of our country. under my law the Gov. would be the only legal distributor of the "product" taking away all the proceeds from people that are not willing to obey the law and putting it in the hands of the government, reducing our debt/taxes. yes i said legalize marijuana

  • I just watched this video, Loved It as usual. but if i was president i would pass a law that would subject single mothers who think their child is a free meal ticket, to provide proof of where there money is going. for instance, i pay child support 85$ a week, and visit my daughter twice a week. and she never has anything, no diapers, no new clothes, no toys, etc etc.... so where is this money going? no one knows, no one cares! am i funding the party habits of my "BM" and her new man?

  • death row maximum time: 1 year. I think its ridiculous how pple wait to die for like 5 years. no mixing church and state. that means that it would be illegal for priests to say who to vote for or stuff. gay marriage approval. :] oh and all endangered or near endangered animals must be kept in exhibits or whatever. and no hunting endangered or near endangered species. NONE. NOOPE. noooooone.

  • It is illegal to hunt endangered species, its called poaching. So mission accomplished Mr. President. Haha

  • i would pass a law that said free pussy

  • second

  • i love cats too

  • hahaha i hadnt tought of that but thats an awsome law!

  • approved

  • I'd pass the law a law saying people who write hate comments (not for good reason) have to walk around in 5 winter coats, snow pants, and tight rubber underware on a 100 degree day

  • wow thats crazy

    lawl its science

  • 1. if a vote towards war is passed, all members of congress and the house who have a child able to fight, their kids will be sent out first. diplomacy would become fashionable.

  • I would pass universal health care or gay marriage.

  • whores should be legal but only if they want to do it if someone makes them do it that person gets dipped into acid :)

  • Anyone who supports the Westboro baptist church must get raped in the ass daily if they wish to keep their religion... I bet thet'll shut em down real quick.

  • if i were prez, i'd legalize weed (and no, i dont smoke pot) and i'd make being a douchebag a federal offence, with 25-life, and in extreme cases, death.

  • this one made me laugh so hard

  • all girls with tripple D's have to go topless lol

  • Comment removed

  • @mcrrocksoutloud123 YES ON 8 KEEP IT STRIGHT

  • CHICAGO LOVES YOU TOO!! but we hae the BEARS & the WHITE SOX!( who won the 05 world series!)

  • ok now i know i was ment to watch these videos because i love tornados

  • Hey! I got a f-150, alot of people in Missouri do, most of us here drive trucks.

  • There's a real law in texas that if your going to kill someone, you have to contact them either by mail or the phone, giving a 24 hour notice and explaining the nature of the crime to be commited... how retarded to they think killers are?

  • lol if there gonna break one law might as well break the other

  • gay marriage i would make it legal everywere(no ime not gay i just had 69 with my gf)...(at least i think its a girl) lol jk

  • i dont think he should be asking for more subscribers (3:15) if all of the youtubers are already subscribed to his channel :P

  • please watch my videos i put so much effort in !

  • my first law would be to kill your self if you dont think dane cook is funny(that way every one would be dead by night fall and there will be no more lines to wait on to go on a ride at disney land)

  • NCAA PLAYOFF!

  • i would make it so that the entire internet was free from music to memory foam matresses delivered to you (all free)

  • I would quarintine everyone in africa who has aids to a large enviorment where they can live the rest of there lives, and when there dead...no more aids....and i would also promote safe sex or no sex to everyone else who doesnt have aids....

    seems desprate and stupid but its worth a try until they find a cure

  • CHICAGO LOVES YOU TOO PHIL. :D <3

  • I'd reinstate the death sentence for any murder that has multiple witnesses/other proof, removing any chance of dragging it our for 30 years or just being called crazy and stuck in a mental health hospital.

    I'd also add the death sentence for rape.

    And like you, I bet I could get both passed in texas

  • I guess you're right....I have an f150 and i have no penis.. because I'm a girl Yay! I use it to haul horses

  • My fisrt law would be if your one of those retarted kids who wear there hat sideways for no reason then there aloud to break your legs :)

  • To legalize gay marriage, stricter laws for teenagers who do things like assault, and that you can only charge with assault for critical injury. No more of that "they grabbed my arm" crap just because you hate a person.

  • If I were president I would have a death sentence for douche bags who argue over witch one is better , mac or pc .

  • tiv is awesome, but its completely a waste of time since you wouldnt be able to see anything inside a tornado anyway

  • Stay tuned for PhillyD news!

  • my law: its legal to punch stupid, ignorant, mean, or selfish people in the face, or in the nads if necessary, regardless of hierarchy

  • OVER 9 TONS!

  • My law: EPIC POTATO CHIP EATING IS PUNISHABLE BY DEATH BECAUSE THAT MEANS YOU ARE A SERIAL KILLER!!!

    ...

    OK unless you watch Death Note you won't get that, and even if you have watched Death Note you'd have to be a pretty hardcore fan to get that (kind of like meh, my username is the same as one of the main characters).

  • oh. and universal healthcare. (at least for children)

  • I would legalize gay marriage and marijuana

    Ban genetically engineered foods.

  • Fuck Yeah!

  • *smiley face*

  • i agree 150% man!

  • Whoaa Phil...gotta lot of haters on this vid =(

  • Chicago also has the sears tower

  • my law:if you're ignorant about something, then use it to try and prove a point- instant death sentence

  • you fuckin idiot you talk to much

  • my first act would be to replace stupid shows like spongebob squarepants, league of super evil and grossology with cool shows like medabots, astroboy and case closed.

  • ur a fucking loser

  • you can take your opinion and shove it up your ass, douchebag.

  • Who cares about what you think? You're a 10 year old boy who can't get out past dark. YOU ARE PATHETIK !!

  • i'm 21 you idiot.

  • OMG YOU WATCH ASTRO BOY AT 21!!

    does your mother also do your wash and change your underwear?

    Do you have a mental disibility?

  • this is the part were i say something negative in response to you. but i'm not going to, you think i have a mental disability for liking astro boy at my age. this is the last time i'm going to respond to you and i think you're the one who needs to grow up.

  • LOL, Spiritan3mz! Are trying to be serious! FUCKING LOSER!

  • Well there are stupid immature people who like those shows. You'd be depriving them of their rights!

    Some right or another....

    Damn I don't know what I'm talking about....

  • more like making those people very upset.

  • Meh, yeah.

  • Cubs WILLLLL win the world series one day.. It's been a year :*(

    Hahaha, don't diss my team!

  • lol My first act as president is: Every other month is vacation, every other month is school. :] OR Divorce is illegal but all who are battered are acceptable. i mean cmon, one fight and yu divorce the love of your life? OR People must vote for what TV shows should stay (must be 15 or older to vote cuz little kids will vote Hannah Montana -_-)

  • I'm 14 and I wouldnt vote for Hannah Montana 0________o

  • Actually I'm skinny as fuck and I'm straight

    Learn how to spell properly

  • Making divorce is fucking retarded, so you would have to live with (In the case you propose) Psychological abuse, or neglect just cause you made the mistake of marrying some douchecunt?

    (That's one of many scenario's that could happen.)

  • no they won't. well, some kids 7 and under will, but even then not all

  • id make a law to cigerettes and up with weed :D

  • at the beginning

    when the thing rings really loud

    is that Sound Studio?

    haha i have sound studio

    and every time i leave it open and i talk, it echoes and gets really loud

    and once i was taking a nap and sound studio was on. my cat then decided to knock down my guitar, causing the LOUDEST THING EVER HEARD. i swear, an AC/DC concert is quieter than that thing [[not really....]]

    bottom line, i didn't need any help waking up.

  • phil the first law i would pass would be if someone hangs up on you on the phone they get the e-chair because thats worse then cutting someone off

  • My first act as president: Bring back Waffle Crisps cereal. Who's with me????

  • haha i am prop waffle crisps

  • LEGALIZE MARIJUANA is the law i would make.

  • haha. the theme song. :P

  • i would make the law for 3 minute school days?

  • so how do you talk to someone that dont shut the hell up??????

  • hahahhahahaaahhahahahh at the start. man wtf is that?

  • hey i live in chicago... and you forgot we got the sears tower too lol

  • And a giant metal bean that's pretty much useless else than a fucked up mirror.

    (I live around Chicago as well.)

  • lol ya that too

  • f-750? that doesn't exist, the biggest they make is f-650 semi truck conversion lol

  • I've seen a f-750 0_0

    its huugee..

  • i have a ford F-350 heavy duty and i'm a 18 y/o girl

  • i have a ford F-350 heavy duty and i'm a 18 y/o girl

  • legalize gay marriage!

    duh!

  • ha ha my ex has an f-150 . . . so true

  • i would legalize marijuana!! tax the shit out of it and then make it illegal to use when you work at certain places and operate certain machinery, and of course, don't toke and drive! oh and i would also make the death sentence legal in every state. if you kill someone, you should die. an eye for an eye.

  • an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind :D

  • no it doesnt. it makes victims and douchebags have one eye. instead of just victimes having one eye. i think the former sounds better

  • it's not meant to be taken literally.

  • I'll make Disney stick to animated movies... I can't stand douches like Zac Efron and the Jonas brothers anymore!!! and no, I don't wanna read about Ashley Tisdale's new dog or Miley Cyrus' new incredibly stupid song in every magazine...

    God, I hate them!

  • hear hear. ill drink to that.

  • haha, i was seriously laughing my ass off, you are my new favorite person on youtube, first it was Chris Crocker, then it was Fred, then i watched 2 girls 1 cup reaction, ( a huge waste of 6 days) and then i found your video's thankss

    and i would get passed that everyone who kills and/or hurts people and/or aniamls should have the same thing done to them, you matter how cruel! like if someone throws a cat out a window and then gets cut up, the person should do that too..yes im very morbid thanx

  • hahaha the thing about chicago is so true cause i live in chicago

  • this comment should be in your newest video

  • I would legalize gay marriage everywhere in America. Cuz I wanna get married.

  • Ow, my feelings.

  • I would make it a law so that if you are a bigot like Nandooo93, you get burnt with two sticks. And then work for the people you are bashing with a big, bright smile on your face, and if that smile fades while you're at work for said person or people, you get burnt with three with three sticks. And you don't get paid. You just learn not to be a xenophobe.

  • Well just as long as gay people r being burnt with sticks all up for your idea. One thing though gay people will only be burn with 1 and only 1 stick because i dont think they are worth more than 1 and let's face it if we burn all of them with 3 sticks we would run out pretty fast. lol

  • I'd use you're bloody fingers to burn you if i ran out of sticks.

  • lol i dont see how that is even possible but ok lets go with it. I understand you only want the sticks to be reserved for the u know who *cough* gays *cough*