Added: 5 years ago
From: thebrat307101
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  • LOLOLLOLOLLLLOLOOOLOLOLOLOLOLO­LOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLO­LOLO ( SORRY ABOUT BAD SPELLING )

  • 22770 people have good taste, and 16.3 people have horrible taste!

  • 49 people said matresses to mister lambert

  • now i gotta stand in the tea chest...love it!

  • But it's my only line!

  • 490 people don´t get the sketch

  • I get to do this skit in drama :)

  • Unbelievably absurd and funny

  • Best.Sketch.Ever.

  • The haters are wearing bags on their heads.

  • Mr Verity and Mr Lambert, eh? Nice in joke.

  • "But it's my only line" wow lol

  • What are they singing in this

  • @BiigiZBaK I believe you'll find the answer to your query if you turn your attention to the 3rd comment below your own.

  • @BiigiZBaK I knew it as "jerusalem" from emerson lake and palmer, but it must be something else originally...

  • @ItSBraining It's called Jerusalem, the classic English hymn, written about 100 years ago by Hugh Parry, from a poem written by William Blake in the early 1800's.

  • is it just me or was someone else able to understand all of that lol

  • Jesus, Carol. I didn't know someone could actually squeal like that. lol.

  • That's quite the unusual mental defect. You both say all numbers divided by 3, and instinctively put a paper bag on your head until as many people as possible (preferably a whole coronation procession) stands in a tea chest singing 'Jerusalem'.

  • I've trying to remember this sketch fr ages. Absolute genius 

  • Mattress !!

  • she so cute

    i wonder which of the pythons got to bang her back then?

  • 480 people have made me have to stand in the tea chest.

  • MP could have done some serious Mob Flashes.

  • 1:42 he says matress...

  • Was John Sanders' a real department store?

  • Eric is cheerful when he says: He puts a bag on his head

  • Is there a condition that makes you react to specific words like putting a bag on your head for matress. Because whenever I hear the word Taggart I have a compulsion to jerk my arm and the word brunch makes me want to go bwargh

  • I almost got hit with a flying mattress while driving down the interstate the other day and this was the first thing that came to mind.

  • This sums of Monty Python perfectly. No matter how ridiculous the premise, it still remains consistent in it's insanity. :D

  • 48 people said mattress.

  • "but it's my only line!" lmao

  • ...Last time you put a bag over your head when I said "mattress."

  • Not only can Graham Chapman act his way out of a paper bag, he can act his way back into it (also, he does it really fast).

  • At 3:56, Eric should have said "Twenty times."

  • This is so random but I love it!

  • I know it would take away from the sketch, but for practicle purposes couldn't they have simply refered to the mattresses as "bedding?"

  • It's a math puzzle... Let y be 2's exaggeration factor (so 1/3 would be having to divide by 3) and x be 1's. 1 states 2 exaggerates by a factor 10. Thus y = 10 / x. 2 states 1 is short by a factor 3. Thus x = 1 / (3 / y)

    (The 1 is implicit thus need not be divided).

    Put equation 2 into equation 1 and solve to get y = 30^0.5 and x = (30^0.5)/3.

    Thus the mattress is:

    10.95 ft wide (60 / y),

    1.095 ft. long, (2 / x)

    and costs 146,06. (800/y)

  • 48 people refused to stand in the tea chest when Mr. Lambert put a bag over his head.

  • @spottedleaf5 you mean 96 ?

  • Apparently, when 48 people hear the word "Mattress," they click the dislike button.

  • I love when John Cleese comes in the second time and smacks his forehead like "Christ, you people"

  • Mr. Verity, 480 people don't want to see the dog kennels.

  • :55

  • @SouthernPoint52 Ah, i see what you did there.

  • I love how they say "WELL YOU DIDNT HAVE TO SAY IT!"

  • @MoonBarrett and then they hop around did anyone else notice that

  • Chapman's behaviour just *before* he puts a bag over his head is priceless! The mattress skit was actually a Monty Python experiment where they tested the theory that no matter how insane people behave, it needs consistency.

  • Veeeeeery underrated sketch. One of their best.

  • @zxcvnmtgb Yeah it's my favorite, due in part being such a nutty premise, even by Python standards. It's just too bad it was in the same episode as the "Dead Parrot" sketch, due to the former being overshadowed by the latter.

  • I wonder if the bloke who has to put a bag on his head when he hears the word matress has the same condition I have when I hear Taggart I have to jerk my arm

  • Carol Cleavage's whining at the end is just hilarious :D

  • I just love how fast Graham puts that bag over his head...

  • Good grief. This would be a whole lot funnier if they didn't make the woman play a dumbass.

  • Don't know about you but I would love to visit this store.

  • Am I the only one who thinks Gordon Brown looks like Terry Jones?

  • I always thought they liked each other ;)

  • The IRS Tax Code in film!

  • the first time i saw this i didnt realize it was jerusalem they were singing (im not from the uk) and i actually though they sang "bring me my bowl of bunny gold" :D

  • What are they singing when they stand in the tea chest?

  • I notice how Jones feels the need to translate for Carol Cleveland! Like when he leans over and says, 'six feet wide' for sixty. Nice respect for women there, Terry!

  • "Hey everybody, somebody said mattress to Mr. Lambert, *twice*!

  • No offense to him or anything, but he should really take up a new profession. People don't work in a mattress store normally if they put a bag over their head whenever someone says mattress!

  • @monkpie101 *puts bag on head*

  • "Will you show these 20 good people the uh dog kennel, please?"

  • @cole0987

    English isn't a race.

  • @Bottery Yeah its not race. Its group of people.

  • This is probably my favorite sketch.

  • It never gets old. I'll be showing this to my grandkids.

  • Please help an American out - What's a tea chest?

  • I love British comedy. American comedy sucks.

  • @asohkaabbycap90 Jerusalem: the Pythons work it into a lot of episodes

  • @admmelonhead: Let "l" and "v" be the actual amounts by which Lambert and Verity modify the amounts. According to Verity, l*v = 3. But according to Lambert l*v = 10. There is no closed and consistent solution to these equations.

  • Wow. 470 people dislike this?

  • "Now I've got to stand in a tea chest."

  • @cole0987

    I agree.

  • @PC336

    You agree. I don’t.

    Python is so British and amazingly universal: a strong healthy message that we can make fun of everything and everybody.

    Orally farting “master race” in contrast, is pretty humourless...

  • " Bring me my bow of burning gold: Bring me my arrows of desire: Bring me my spear: O clouds, unfold! Bring me my chariot of fire! I will not cease from mental fight, Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand Till we have built Jerusalem In England's green and pleasant land."

    Hell yeah! English pride! We are the master race!

  • @cole0987

    "We are the master race!" Huh?

    A sales guy with a mattress scare and a math problem, putting a bag over his head only to recover by colleagues singing Jerusalem in a tea chest, to you may be a shining pearl of your so called ‘master race’.

    You didn’t get the British Python joke, did you?

  • @asohkaabbycap90 Its called Jerusalem (or Englands Mountains green)

  • The song in the tea chest: Jerusalem... good version is by Emerson Lake and Palmer. Yep they'll be plenty of synthesizer but that still makes it more modern than others. I think a classical/hymnal background would be better but I haven't found one yet.

  • Mattress!

  • We need MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! brilliant!

  • In the world of Monty Python, everything is so difficult to buy. Really! Cheese, parrots, and even mattresses. What sort of economy is that, I ask you?

  • When I was younger I watched this at my friends house & I didn't get it, I thought it was stupid, but now I laugh my ass off, cause it can but some funny shit. These guys have the balls to do this weird shit so I have respect for them

  • @JLA12301985 You almost have to have respect for them. These guys actually had the guts to dress in drag, then traipse around either the London, or Canadian streets. Yes, they sometimes filmed in Canada. There also wasn't a single Python member, who didn't dress in drag, for at least something.

    I don't know which I would consider funnier. Just watching (The Meaning Of Life.)

    Or watching Terry Gilliam directing quite a long part,, dressed in drag.

    "I wish I could've been old enough to be a

  • @JLA12301985 Monty Python member."

    Yeah well... that's life..

    Fieve.. ;-) :-)

  • i love how there all hopping around at the end, even Lambert. :D

  • NEED MOAR!!!

  • this is one of my favorite skits and i've watched it a hundred times, but i have NEVER noticed how they all start hopping around at the very end! lol!

  • >:( "Now i've gotta stand in the tea chest!" lol

  • u have to multiply everything mr lambert says by 3? shoudnt it be 30?

  • XD fantastic sketch.

    It's so cute when Carol laughs at 2:05

  • At 3:50 John Cleese does a face palm.

  • WAIT

    when lambert says that verity exaggerates times ten, he would've actually meant that it was times thirty, so the mattress is three feet wide. And since verity exaggerates by thirty, when he explains how lambert exaggerates, you have to multiply everything he says by 0.1

    So the mattress is 2.4 inches long and three feet wide, and costs just under 27 pounds.

    I love being specific :3

  • @admmelonhead the logic is confusing isn't it? don't forget that verity just said "these 20 good people" 1:47 so 2 x 10 = 20 so I guess that not everything lambert says is multiplied by 3 nor is everything verity says is multiplied by 10.

  • @admmelonhead this is my favourite comment of life, thank you

  • @admmelonhead any truly specific person would know that the salespeople do not recognize their own ticks: Lambert is able to say matress for example. So verity does not exaggerate when explaining other people's ticks, only when he is giving the dimensions. I love being more specific :4

  • @admmelonhead Good point!

  • @admmelonhead Not actually. Because if you have to multiply everything lambert says by 0.1, then when he explains how verity exaggerates, he said 10, so he really meant 1. That means that when verity says that you have to multiply everything lambert says by 3, he DOES mean 3, but that means that when lambert says that everything verity says is 10 times too high, he really DOES mean 30. But it just keeps going back and forth like that, so there really is no definite answer. I outspecified you.

  • @admmelonhead asdfjasjdfjsdfi32qfnasdfk

    MIND BLOWN

    FUCKING PARADOXES

    oh but if you multiply everything he says by .1... but then..wait no..ugh my mind hurts.

  • @admmelonhead oh man, just divide by zero leave us alone.

  • first sketch i ever saw, when i was 6

    fucking hilarious :D

  • you know that this really isn't a mattress store, it's a loony bin with mattresses on the walls instead of padding

  • Awww...don't you just want to put your arms around Carol at the end?

  • bahahahahahahaha!!!

  • Remarkable nonsense. lol I love it.

  • MATTRESS MATTRESS MATTRESS MATTRESS

    MATTRESS MATTRESS MATTRESS MATTRESS

    MATTRESS MATTRESS MATTRESS MATTRESS

    MATTRESS MATTRESS MATTRESS MATTRESS

  • @AvailabileUsername MY GOD! you said "dog kennels" 160 times!

  • lol! what is the name of the music they sang? (sorry, i really dont know, but i was listen to one of bruce dickinson songs, and its the same begining)

  • jerusalem

  • @rossik It's a "Jerusalem"

  • I need a Mattress thats 60ft wide and cost 800 pounds please!

  • Monty pogo.

  • "we'd lke to buy a mattress"

    "why did you say it?!?! why did you say it?!?!"

    "but it was my only line!"

    "well you didnt have to say it!! YOU DIDNT HAVE TO SAY IT!!!!!"

  • and if those teeth, in ancient times, gnawed upon england's mountains green...

  • what is the womans name? i can never figure out who she is and shes in like everything they do

  • @Endrawnia that's Carol Cleveland

  • Wow, they're singing Jerusalem! This is probably well known among English viewers but I'm not British and I have only known this hymn from the Emerson, Lake and Palmer album, so for me it was like my favourite band and my favourite comedy put together :D .

  • Lol

  • I'm so bad at math, I'd need a minute or two to think about every number the guy told me.

  • But it's my only line!

    LOL

  • british humor, great!

  • why not say bed? just curious

  • @Zerovarth they don't sell beds...they sell mattresses ;-)

  • If they gave Carol more lines, she wouldn't ruin so many sketches. Lol.

  • But it's my only line - epic win!

  • this is a comedy sketch

    ppl watch this to FORGET politics not be reminded of them

    if u Demos and Reps want to slander each other then find a debate somewhere, not here

  • WELL SAID!!

  • wats with the last bit wen they start hopping around? awesome thogh 5/5

  • This sketch accurately predicted the nonsense and bullsh*t known as the "Americans with Disabilities Act". Under that act, strippers in wheelchairs sued to get on stage. And the "Captain" of the Exxon Valdez couldn't be fired for incompetence, because he was an alcoholic. Good job, Democrats!

  • Kind of makes you wonder if we were better off with the King of England still running things.

  • Would you really want to be ruled by Bonnie Prince Charlie?

  • No way. Let's face it, there is no such thing as perfect government.

  • lol. there is no perfect anything!

  • That's true. Okay people, remember. Don't say the "M" word.

  • Yes, I'm sure this British sketch was designed for an insignificant bill in American government. I don't see why you complain about the act, it's meant to benefit people such as you.

  • have to agree with holzspanplattenwerk, i also love MP to death, their stuff is so freakin' hilarious (Life of Bwian is, i think, the funniest movie ive ever seen), but they do have some sketches in Flying Circus that aren't all that funny...well, i guess like all comedy shows, they have their ups and downs...

  • Oh, please. Monty Python and The Holy Grail was much better than The Life Of Brian..IMO

  • @ellycat well, we all might have just a slight variation in humor. but the Life of Brian cracked me up beyond belief...lol but as long as its Monty Python, its all good= )

  • No it's not! I paid for an argument!

  • Well i'm terribly sorry, but i can't argue anymore :)

  • @ellycat LOL! Good one! well, no, you didn't pay!

  • @free0fight LOL! Yes, technically that's true. Hey, great to see the full sketch leading up to the Lumberjack Song on your channel. I've not seen that in years :)

  • @ellycat i definetly agree. also life of brian is alot more inappropriate than the holy grail so thats another reason y its better

  • @squishfly1 well, that one reason that makes Life of brian more funny! lol=)

  • haha, thanx....i have that song stuck in my head and its driving me nuts...lol

  • simply absurd -.-

  • Don't get me wrong, I'm a big MP fan. But honestly, this sketch is too long, too silly and not really funny.

    Compare it to "I wish to report a burglary", almost the same idea, only two minutes long and hilarious!

  • i aggree with holzspanplattenwerk ..it does seem just like "I wish to report a burglary" only with a diffrent place...

  • @holzspanplattenwerk That's part of the reason Cleese left the show after the third series. He felt the writing had become almost a parody of itself at times. Indeed, at least one bit, "What the Stars Foretell" in episode 37, was written by T.J. and Palin as a jab at some of Cleese and Chapman's bits, whose wordplay they thought made the bits seem like thesauruses. (Thesauri?) Still, I've always rather appreciated how they could take a common theme in different directions.

  • I remember there being a different version of this where he puts a bucket on his head and they had to get into a fish tank and sing.

  • what isthe song they song

  • @dim432

    The song is actually a hymn written by William Blake.

  • @dim432

    Sorry, I forgot to mention it's called "Jerusalem."

  • you can find it when you just type in the first line: "And did those feet in ancient time"...

  • BUT IT'S MY OWNLY LINE

  • OH WHY DID YOU SAY THAT FOR

  • we did this sketch in grade 11 english ... lol memories. "dog kennel" ..." I should have explained". "

  • lolz XD!!!!!

  • WE NEED MORE!!

  • that is so funny -xd

  • I am starting to see why they are so focused on teaching math in school... "You'll never use this in real life" my ass...

  • @Vincabilly "You'll never use this in real life" my ass, my ass...

  • this is honestly how confusing it is to buy mattesses nowadays!!

  • Right me if I'm wrong but mr Verity is supposed to make anything 10 times bigger right? but when asked "did someone say matress" he answers "twice", shouldnt he have said "twenty times"?

  • also, when he says Lambert divides his figures be three, shouldn't he say thirty?

  • @Telekrus

    Maybe that was the exception that proved the rule

  • @Jobrosforeverandever it wasn't mr verity. oh and thi is a 3 month late response. Verity was Idle's character, not Palins

  • Nope, Idle said it first.

    He also said three rather than thirty in relation to the amount you had to times what Chapman said.

  • @Jobrosforeverandever Probably, but either he only made things 10 times bigger when it's a definite number (he would have done it if he'd have said "two times" instead of "twice") or they just decided to drop that running gag to keep things from getting too confusing by then.