Negativity, Criticism & Manipulation

[zmajski777]

-by the way, manipulative people do not reveal them selves to new people

-they attract you and "chain you" and THEN they are being manipulative

-i'm saying that they are smarter then people dare to think and that makes their kind free to multiply and "coexist"

[biblegirl7]

@zmajski777 I don't need them to intentionally reveal themselves. I pickup on them pretty quickly. And if you force them to stick to one specific topic, and not add in anything else, it helps a lot. Also, repeat their own words back to them. And NEVER get defensive! You can't think clearly if you get defensive.

[zmajski777]

give me hope, tell me there are women who are not manipulative

[rchelle2000]

I pray for them. My mother is that exact way, and I have prayed and continue to pray for her. I agree that GOD changes hearts, but there has to be some work on their end to. They have to acknowledge the problem. My mother will never acknowledge what she does, and that's the one area that I see no change in. If I point out what she does, and how I feel about it she just starts pointing at me. So I avoid her as much as possible, and continue to pray for her. (great subject:)

[biblegirl7]

@rchelle2000 Have you prayed for God to give you grace with her? Or for you to be patient and understanding with her? Or for God to "expose and remove everything that is not of Him" in both of you? That's what my daughter and I pray =) It's a great way to deal with hidden issues! (His kindness leads to repentance.) <- One of my favorite scriptures... and so easy to forget, or neglect to use with difficult people! I've certainly had my share of issues with my mom. But God is still working.

[guitarprodigy14]

ummm.... not gonna say whats ironic about this video but Why are you RECORDING A VIDEO WHILE DRIVING!!!! I love how they banned texting while driving, the next big thing??? NO VLOGGING WHILE DRIVING!!! ROTFL

[LickLikeStrawberry]

i don't call people out on their behavior if it doesn't effect me because its not my job to fix their issues. if it effects me i'll call them out because they are making it my business. usually i just avoid them since too much of toxic people is draining.

[biblegirl7]

@LickLikeStrawberry Sounds like a good way to handle it =)

[gezkah]

How can you be deep rooted in the heart and be able to change? because its not deep rooted, its people with issues or mental problems that are also suffering. Be a bigger person by seeing that.

[biblegirl7]

@gezkah God changes hearts. You ask, wait, work through the issues, and you change.

[aRtzeegurl7]

I know someone who's really citical about everything I have and do. Sometimes I feel that this particular individual is just doing that because they feel powerless. This person would say a suggestion (or it seems) and make it sound like they're way is better. How do you avoid talking to such people who brings you down thinking that they are better than you? And like you too, I don't like debates/arguements either. But when this person presses my buttons, I just want to prove my point.

[biblegirl7]

Most of the time, if I just give yes or no answers, and limit our conversations to just a few words, or just flat-out tell them I don't want to hear it, they eventually leave me alone ;-)

[Xenonalay]

I want to find a way to deal with my parents....they are very critical and negative when it comes to my relationship with my fiance.

[biblegirl7]

Are they seeing something that you're not?

[bumble818]

I work with people like this. They are TOXIC to be around and I also avoid them as much as possible. Not at first when I was getting to know them but after I figured out how they were and they were making my day miserable I stopped talking to them. I even told one person that I don't like negative people because it really brings me down, nothing changed so, I'll stick with the positive friends I have and pray for the others. Glad I found your video!

[biblegirl7]

So did the person even recognize it in themselves once you pointed it out? Because the toxic people I know are in denial.

[TravMcTavish]

I really like your attitude towards negative....I love my work and I always hear people complaining at work about the most simple things.....I never associate with these negative people and deliberately avoid them....I think it helps me keep my very positive attitude towards my work even after 2 years.

[biblegirl7]

It's not always easy! But we can choose our thinking =)

[networkratesYT]

Simply don't show them positive or negative reinforcement. As a Mom I know you know what I mean.

[login654]

"little people talk about other people"

You just waste 10 minutes talking about those other "negative" people ...

[biblegirl7]

And apparently you spent 10 minutes watching and eve commenting on the video.

[stevenfreaken]

I disagree entirely bonehead, there are people who are morally bankrupt that must be dealt with.

[biblegirl7]

Good for you! I find that some days are easier than others.

[jweinrub]

I think people are negative cause they don't know what's going to happen next or something has happened to them in the past and it just hides within them (I hope that made sense there). I myself can be like that as well and I keep thinking myself, why do I do it? There are those who are manipulate and hide behind this mask where you think they are really nice and easy to get along with and then they turn out to be cold and heartless in the end.

[biblegirl7]

You hit the nail on the head, on all points! And we all carry some type of baggage from our pasts. It happens with time. Life's tough =/

[jweinrub]

You're exactly correct on that.

[Addue]

When I'm negative it's because I'm afraid that if I hope for too much it will be a terrible dissappointment when things don't turn out well. But I know that's wrong.

[biblegirl7]

I think we're all afraid of disappointment. Life's tough.

[UncleJohn97420]

A good way to shut em up is to come up with something pleasent then rant on and on bout how whatever they hate is actualy good until they cant stand it, eventualy they will learn complaining to you will trigger a hour long rant on why its so wonderful.lol

It actualy works pretty well, some one complaining just wants to complain, they dont want to hear what you think bout it.lol

[biblegirl7]

HAHAHA! I love it!

[Blinkazoid]

It's downright painful being around complaining, whining people for very long at a time. Avoid them at all costs. Sigh... that's usually not possible though. I usually tune them out as much as possible and try not to encuourage them.

[biblegirl7]

If you ever find a way to shut them up, be sure to let me in on the secret :)

[Tanja060100]

Lisa,I agree with you.But people like these you are talking about i everywhere.I would call them on it.

[biblegirl7]

Tan... I usually do. It depends on the situation. Sometimes I really don't care and their crap doesn't affect me, so I just ignore it. On the other hand, sometimes I know my own attitude may not be right at that time, so I'm better off to just keep my mouth shut. But if I've had enough, then I'll tell them straight up. And you're right. They are everywhere!

[bassstop]

where am I? How did I get here?

[cstanfield333]

Watch the road, Lisa. You never know when my friends might be behind you. lol :)

[biblegirl7]

LOL. I actually passed a cop at one point.

[chakwaina37]

Maybe those negative people need some positive prayer, as well as a positive friend around them to see why they are like that. Wow little people, average people, successful people that was a very strong statement.

[biblegirl7]

I got it wrong, but a couple of comments here have the correct phrase. And I always thought it was a powerful statement. I'm glad people here reminded me of the exact verbiage.

And they definitely need prayer. Unfortunately, I can't be around them for too long or they affect my attitude instead of the other way around =/

[omfgjohnstube]

my internet fails so i have to watch this tomorrow morning :(

[biblegirl7]

Slacker

[omfgjohnstube]

my internet is the slacker not me! teehee!

[biblegirl7]

My grape candle just stuck out it's tongue at you :P

[ysabellabravetalk]

You speak the truth! :) Lovely video.

[biblegirl7]

Thanks! =D

[Skaramine]

I know I've been filled with ire and rage in my last few vlogs. I need to return to the light-side. Thanks for the heads up on the turn to negativity, milady.

[biblegirl7]

<:o)

[Duckchow24]

Great video.

I don't think I know anyone who is negative ALL the time. I know a few who can get really negative to the point where it's depressing just to be around them, but it's pretty rare they get that way.

[biblegirl7]

I wish I didn't know some of these people O_o

[2of6Solutions]

I have noticed that there are vloggers on youtube who, five out of seven times will vlogg for up to ten minutes, about some aspect of life which they are not enjoying, or they will vlogg about how bad and wrong someone is. They appear to have great passion experiencing misery or contributing to the misery of others. Often they don't seem to know what they are wanting so they remain in pain.

[biblegirl7]

I get the feeling they don't know how to live any other way. They're so used to being miserable that they've accepted misery as a way of life.

[LynnyLee]

I'm not really critical of people, in fact I try to think the best of people. However, I do have a bad habit of seeing the negative in situations. Kind of. A friend once described me as a "What's the worst that can happen optimist." I always think of the worst case scenario, but then shrug it off and go on. I think I need to change this before it drags me down.

[biblegirl7]

I have to fight those thoughts too. And they can definitely drag me down. They like to take on lives of their own and grow bigger. I really have to "practice" positive thinking, on a constant basis.

[LynnyLee]

I don't think misery loves company. Most negative people I know can't stand each other. They can't be the center of attention if someone else is complaining louder than them.

I usually handle negative, critical and manipulative people on a case by case basis with a combination of ignoring them and/or calling them out.

[biblegirl7]

I was thinking more of the channels here on You Tube where like-minded haters seem to congregate. There, you have a bunch of miserable people in one place. Granted, there is a lot of in-fighting, but they can't hang out with anyone else, because they've been blocked ;)

[LynnyLee]

Good point. I think the best assessment would be: Misery tolerates company for lack of an alternative.

[biblegirl7]

LOL. I'm sure it was not the miserable person who coined the phrase. After all, a miserable person is probably not capable of real love anyway ;)

[etrain4760]

i tend to just give them a nice kick in the face.

almost always solves the problem.

you should try it sometime

[biblegirl7]

LOL. I wish I could do that to this one person who is a constant thorn in my side.

[etrain4760]

i will stop by next time i travel to visit my parents and i can do it for you.

haha

[biblegirl7]

Sweet!

[etrain4760]

just trying to help

[biblegirl7]

Thumbs up for help. May as well use the stupid system.

[etrain4760]

i know right? i have tired to use it but I don't really see a point.

[qiranger]

Well said. Sorry that you have to deal with so much pain. I'll add you to my chain. If you ever need to talk about that particular issue, PM me, as pain is the particular ministry I work in the most.

[biblegirl7]

Feel free to pray! Thanks :)

[fondestgreetings]

Yes. My grandmother.

[biblegirl7]

Bummer =/

[fondestgreetings]

She all of the above. I don't blame her though, she comes from a time where women don't get much education.

[Gimmeabreakman]

Good vlog, Lisa.

As the unknown sage puts it... Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people." - Hyman G. Rickover

I like it!

[biblegirl7]

That was it! It was driving me nuts, trying to remember that.

[Nihilanth1982]

my dad is the worst person on earth, he doesnt support me in anything i wish to do, and is always criticising my decisions. however i've noticed lately i'm starting to be more like him :( maybe i've stayed around here for too long. i've got to move out soon

[biblegirl7]

My whole family is like that. You need to seek out positive, encouraging, uplifting people. And start practicing (as cliche' as it sounds) positive affirmations. If you look in the mirror and try to say something positive to yourself, and something inside you disagrees, then you definitely need to keep doing it until you start to believe it.

[Rotarrius]

I understand if someone is having a bad day and they just wanna vent, but when it's all day EVERY day then it gets a bit much. People like that don't realize that they are bringing others down with them too.

[biblegirl7]

I'm reading a book right now, about keeping a positive attitude, even when there are negative people around you. It's tough, but I'm working on it =)

[8gavin8]

i no some 1 like that.... my dad

[biblegirl7]

Unfortunately, parents are often the worst when it comes to their children. But you can choose to believe in yourself, in spite of what anyone else says.

[falloutpunk]

I don't hate negativity as much as I hate complaining. I can't stand people that complain nonstop. My favourite saying is "S***t or get off the pot" (I know you don't like swearing lol) Because I feel complaining is pointless. It won't get you what you want. So either do something about it or shut up lol.

[biblegirl7]

I think the complaining and negativity go hand-in-hand. As for complaining, it actually exacerbates the situation because they're wallowing in it instead of looking for a way out.

[DRUNKENMONK1313]

most adults are just children with jobs.

[biblegirl7]

LOL

[MissTruly]

We call those folks "fun suckers." :)

[biblegirl7]

That's pretty accurate.

[afundie]

I've heard many variations. I think the last was "small minds talk about people, good minds talk about things, and great minds talk about ideas."

"As the unknown sage puts it... Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people." - Hyman G. Rickover (who was quoting someone else)

I totally agree with the "you whine you get nothing" rule. I don't see it enforced nearly often enough.

[biblegirl7]

The quote was the one I was trying to remember. Someone else commented on it too. As for whining, it's a child's way of manipulating the parent. And it's the foundation for a manipulative adult! IMHO ;)

[biblegirl7]

Anyone can change. You jut have to want to.

[kitkatxo]

No, unless I guess its a moral thing. I try to surround myself with people who make me laugh. Sometimes though I think everyone gets liek that for what ever reason. At some point in time at least. I was liek that for a little while and it was because of being hurt by others. I would like to know though what ways you've used to change your negativity. I think it'd help me and other's practice the same to improove. :)

[biblegirl7]

Yay! Someone watched this long vlog :P Honestly, I use mostly scriptures, but I recently bought a book by Jeffrey Gitomer called the Little Gold Book of YES Attitude. It's awesome! It's a new take on the traditional "attitude" books. And I agree. We all fall into that trap at times. The key is to not stay there. Thanks for the comment!

[MightyTrebor]

I have a friend at work like that... seems like he's always complaining or arguing about trivial stuff.

Don't get me wrong, he's alot of fun to work with though, when he's not bi***ing about something.

[biblegirl7]

We all know people like that. They're just so hard to be around. I don't want to hear that crap. And they don't believe they're being negative. That amazes me. I'd like to record them and play it back for them. I wonder if that would work.