HMMM...Narcissists understand that the most people are incompetent, easily fooled by propaganda, slander, slogans.? NO.most people are honest,trusting,empathic & loving.N's play on & exploit our greatest strengths.Dont be fooled.N's live a delusionary,guarded, predatory existence.they exploit they dont participate.they dont evolve they consume and move on like a virus.The "logic" of N's is twisted,flawed,selfish & hostile.I feel sorry for narcissists, who like vampires should showed the light.
Holy crap. I've been having issues for months now because a close friend of mine for some reason always drains my energy and I feel the need to please him. I started to notice there's something very unhealthy about this friendship. Now I know what it is. This totally sucks.
The difference between a narcissist core and a narcissist supply run dry is that a narcissist sees the entire world as existing solely for their benefit or to cause them pain and suffering. A drained narcissist supply usually just wants the world to stop so that they can have a break - they are so accustomed to being drained they don't know what rest or relaxation is. They are always tense around others and run away from or rebel against expectations because of the deep anxiety they feel.
@jag216 Hoo boy. Yeah, well put. I've been wondering why I'm so reluctant to get back out into the world after hiding away for so long. I know I'm exhausted and that I attract less than positive circumstances. I wind up drained. I guess I just can't face another draining situation.
More than a vampire, narcissist are emotional black holes. They literally suck in so much emotional energy that none escapes. The problem with this, is that when you run into someone who appears to be a narcissist, you have to also observe their relationships and especially if they are heavily entangled with a boss, spouse or parent - it is possible that they are being tapped so much by a narcissist that they may resort to the same tactics just to get back to zero.
@auntstacey123 It's awfully contagious especially when you have to work in teams like at universities and corporations. Everyone starts imitating the poor quality lying leadership like idiots.
@dutytocareforothers Yeah, I also see it with some of the people I work with. They are totally delusional & out-of-touch with reality yet they see the rest of us more "normal" people, who see through their mask, as the ones with problem. The only way I can even get along with some of my co-workers is to play along with their game and suck up to them to keep the peace. At the same time, I am totally disgusted with myself for having to do that 'cause I feel like such a fake.
@iirmo great question. There are some people close to a narcissist, who observe how powerfully the narcissist affects (& manipulates) others. Some people get sucked in, want that same charisma, power, pull on people. So they start "learning" from the nar. & try to emulate certain things they admire. Sometimes they also copy the ugly things too. It's quite disgusting, but easily avoidable. Just choose not to be like that! Be aware of your actions, and care about others, etc.
@jadujen I'm dealing with a narcissist right now: he is so annoyingly needy and demanding and lacking in any form of empathy that he comes across as autistic and retarded like Forrest Gump. I do not admire his ability to manipulate or his fake and exaggerated charisma: in fact those are such terrible traits to ignore completely.
@iirmo Whenever you deal with someone who has terrible personal boundary awareness you get 'emotionally cornered' and this drains energy like nobody's business. If you are not able to recoup that energy through unconditional love then you might take advantage of others in order to heal and rebuild. As a matter of damage control, develop a discipline of acting and not reacting. Preemptive strikes and prejudices are cheap and addictive defenses. They isolate the actor and perpetuate the burnout.
@jag216 Yes exactly. I'm dealing with a narcissist now. He is like a spoiled brat 7 year old who keeps bringing up his accomplishments and rubbing it in my face and bragging about how smart he is. He has accomplishments but expects unending admiration and attention when I'm not the person to get that from.
@jag216 And yes I'm terribly drained when I have to even talk to him for more than 10 minutes. He is an attention whore and I cannot stand him. He really needs mental help or a circle of friends who can bend over backward for this parasite.
@syyenergy7 You have no idea how wrong you are. I only look for attention when people can see me. Can you see me now? No. Also, do you think that if that was the case I would actually admit the whole thing? You really don't know much about the topic, do you?
I've run into "friends" like that & yes..super charming but they can be very manipulative & I'm not sure if they realise it so I let them get away w/ crap at times one makes me laugh a lot & most the conversation is 75% her & she makes me feel guilty for having stuff she doesn't have or trying to get me to visit her. I'd hate to lie & say I'm busy & would feel horrible to tell her that she is doing this. Can a narcissist be comfronted? Can I just tell her I can spend only limited time w/ her?
@oromuisca Yes tell her over the phone or easier try email make it extremely detailed, too. The narcissist will get annoyed and dismayed that you have boundaries and standards.
I've learned (after 30+ years of observation) that, even when you love an intensely narcissistic family member, the best thing for yourself can be to remove yourself from their circle~ get far, FAAAR away. =D
@jadujen Never ever have a child with a narcissist: your child will be brainwashed and transformed into a mutant-like soul draining human who will bring about misery to others. It's best to recognize honest and compassionate traits in others and forms bonds with those type of people: they will protect you and love you in difficult times while a narcissist will add fuel to the fire (loving to destroy, rather than to create).
someone else made a good point~ narcissists go from loving & needing you, to de-valuing you if you don't feed them the praise or admiration they desire. They can be amazingly fun, witty, intelligent, charming, and popular. But they're a vortex, because everything ALWAYS has to be about them! It's comically ridiculous. I hate the fact that they don't give a shit about what other people think/experience. You can watch the light drain from their eyes when the attention isn't all on them.
I'm actually a narcissist with BPD. Yes I'm a bitch and yes I need constant admiration, but that's only because my self esteem is actually completely screwed up. And in order to feel better I have this bitch like attitude and I try to bring everyone down so that I feel like I'm better than they are. BPD includes unstable self image and when I'm being all perfect in front of others is the only time I don't feel like a total loser. So please don't judge, some of us can't really help it.
@LoonaLuna20 I also think its great that you have become aware but sayin you can't help it.. is a pretty weak excuse. Do the work it takes to become well. You can do it.
@jadujen You lucked out! The narcissists I know have never been fun. They are loud, talkative, droning, lecturing, condescending, stubborn, one track minded, argumentative, and boring sad saps.
@LoonaLuna20 Ha, i know. You're looking for attention right now. Go to a quack pysch and they'll fix you up with some addictive meds. Ya need the crutch. Great for attention.
@dutytocareforothers Google 'parentification' and you may find the roots of your sense of duty have been tainted. Your willingness to sacrifice has been groomed by a needy parental figure. You do not have to stop helping others, but you must learn to do it on your own terms and re-evaluate the programming of your conscience if you lived in a relationship where you were constantly forced to take responsibility for the emotional stability of another person.
@yogsothoth2099 The severity of narcissistic traits in a person varies greatly which is why they are simply called narcissists. Therefore, I believe, a psychopath is the highest form of narcissism as these people have been known to murder.
@yogsothoth2099 A psychopath experiences serious delusions. Not just "Oh, I'm great and your scum." but more like "You turned into Mickey Mouse! I hate Disney and I must kill Mickey Mouse because Jesus said so." ...or something to that effect.
OMG, I know few close people that their wife describes Narcissist, and when their husband tolled me they were narcissist, I didn't believe that, I just thought they were plain mean, controlling and jealous.
As to lowering ones expectations, these people always do what their wife want and they never happy, they must put them down in order to feel good, and it drains them as well as limiting them. so how can they stay married and gain happiness with such person, when their children witness that?
Thank you so much for this information...being and highly senstive empath, my life has been challenging to say the least, and after all these years I am just coming to grips with how life/ people have been effecting me. I can see that I have been surrounded by narcisist my whole life ( my mother, ex husband, some friends...kids although there I put my foot down! lol) But yeah... what has been, has been but now its time to get control of myself. I really APPRECIATE your help :) Thank you *XXX*
Great Information Judith. As always, I respect and love what you do and support your work. I wish I had know you / @OMTimes / @Humanityhealing a few years earlier in my own life, as it would have helped with my own understanding - but life unfolds as it is meant too. Much Love & Light to you and yours. dZ
Ugh. I think I have a narcisstic person in my life. :( I'm trying to compromise but I feel like crap. She has a way with making me feel solely responsible for the conflicts in our relationships. Yet, she never apologizes for her own actions. While she says she will never change herself for me, she expects *me* to change for her. I'm at the edge now and am seriously questioning the relationship. You shouldn't feel pain and misery from the person you 'love'.
So, basically, listen to narcissistic whims? Doubt it. It's like feeding the "beast". The truthful answer is to attack the narcissist. You know their weaknesses, they can't give strait answers or talk about themselves in a negative light. Don't expect the narcissist to give you anything as far as emotional, or materialistic needs tho. So basically if you are willing to give a big fuck you to them, and willing to fight them (some confrontations can be physical) then you are free from them.
Wow, my Ex is a narcisist. Everything had to be about him, his way, I couldn't do anything to please him, I never lived up to his expectaions know matter what. He was a selfish cheat and never had a moment of regret or sadness about him when he left me to be with his pregant girlfriend, I was absolutely crushed into pieces. Wow, I hope that stupid women got what she wanted, I am finally healed and glad he's long gone.
@SammyHagarSim So Sorry you had to live through this. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. I lived through a similar situation, just be happy you didn't have his kid, then you would still have to deal with him . I am quite sure my ex has borderline personality disorder with narcissistic tendencies.
@SammyHagarSim Why were you attracted to him then? Don't you have intuition? You can tell right away who a narcissist is: the haughty body language, the lack of empathy, bossing you around, telling you what to do, providing unsolicited advice, bragging, and boasting.
I have two of those in my family. They are close to me. One threatens to leave me every two months. I am not so young and I am not sure if I should tell him to leave or what. We are married 7 years now. He drinks beer like crazy and so negative.
The number two person is a young man who has given up on life. Lost everything to the world and refuses to "apply himself" when it comes to getting something done.
I don't feel sorry for myself but one of these days the dam is going to break. Donna
I have two of those in my family. They are close to me. One threatens to leave me every two months. I am not so young and I am not sure if I should tell him to leave or what. We are married 7 years now. He drinks beer like crazy and so negative.
The number two person is a young man who has given up on life. Lost everything to the world and refuses to "apply himself" when it comes to getting something done.
I don't feel sorry for myself but one of these days the dam is going to break.
There is a good and bad side to narcissism, the bad side comes out for the poor souls that believe they are great but never get the validation that their glory starved souls crave for, because in fact they aint shit.The truly great narcissists are super successfull people loved, adored and followed by many and are nice as long as you go with the program but thats normal.
@vonlossberg Not talking to the narcissist should fill you with peace and joy as it does me. Every time I ignore the enemy the sun is brighter and life is just all around more satisfying.
Advice for all involved with a narcissist - GET OUT ASAP!!!! Plan your escape if you have to - do whatever it takes to get out. It takes time to heal afterwards too. It's all very sad. There are others on this earth feeding off kind and good people. Protect yourself while you can. I'm still learning.
I wondered what was going on in my life, blaming work, blaming myself etc. I thought I was going insane... I have a 3 year old. I am not yet strong enough to help him. I am consumed by guilt and numerous other emotions. It helps when people tell me it's not my fault but it's hard to believe them! ;-( My instinct is to help my wife but everyone's warning me to stay away and is pointing out that's the reason I've been so sick. She nearly killed me. CONTINUED.....
@JonBrooksComposer Absolutely...the ONLY way is to get out, lay low, and get help. Have NO sympathy, and remember they don't change. Best of luck to anybody married to, or involved with a narcissist, but you can get away, begin to start a new life and re-new. I DID, and haven't looked back. diana
@aussiechickdiana I was involved with a narcissist several yrs ago & it made me real sick. Had all kinds of illnesses & stomach problems. I swear I was throwing up everyday.
A few months ago I discovered my wife has narcissistic personality disorder. My body was sending me messages and symptoms and i just didn't listen. I only started to listen once my symptoms shut down my whole system. I was physically and emotionally drained. Only with the help of therapists and my own research was I able to understand why and how this all happened. Only now am i beginning to take back my life, and my god, it's the most difficult thing I've ever encountered... CONTINUED....
@JonBrooksComposer You are very lucky that your therapists actually helped you. My therapists played dumb and acted like I was stupid when I started talking about the problems with narcissists. I guess they were narcissists too because they would defend the bragging, boasting, selfish, and exploitative ways of the narcissists that I knew.
My ex was a narcissist; she wouldn't even acknowledge me when I spoke. The only real solution in the end was to dump her, and find somebody who knows what empathy is. Feels good man.
@jperson2007 I refuse to acknowledge the narcissist because all he wants is attention and admiration with none of it returned unless he is pressured into it which also sucks the energy out of me: he doesn't care what I have to say and refuses to acknowledge what I know. It's a stubborn and one-track relationship. Avoid these people and never befriend or date them. If you have to work for an idiot like this, document all of your successes because they will try to get you fired.
This video was very informative! I've found one of my best friends to be displaying more and more narcissistic traits the older he gets, and the past several months it's been absolutely unbearable. Lately I've been limiting my contact with him, and very soon I plan to just cut off all contact without notice. Narcissists crave attention, be it negative or positive, and I've found that confronting my friend about this only ends in verbal and emotional abuse from him.
@suzukimayhem Oh I know. They get "butt hurt" if someone pays attention to you during a social gathering. They hog up all the attention and create competition and animosity. You can tell by their snotty body language that they like to stir the pot and harass others ...
but most people can be all about themselves these days especially how can we know they are NPD if we don't know what they are thinking or maybe they have another personality disorder.
My mom is the splitter and borderline for the most part and my brother is a sociopath/ narcissist, she/he made me think the other was the bad guy and they went out of their way to make me go against the other... I grew up with seasonal manias and they both made me out to be weak and I won in the long run but it was by ridding myself of the dead borderline and her "golden child" and their drama and I feel so much better...
Actually, the whole narcissism thing is a little more complicated than this. People have many personalities. You can be narcissist with a person who you may believe to be less intelligent than you are yet be entirely respectfult to another. I think once we all start admitting our negative self righteous attitudes and stop blaming other people, we'll be better off. Am I narcissist because of this?
Yea. I agree 100%. I just think a lot of people can misdiagnose their peers and family with this disorder when in actuality its most likely just normal narcism. But how do we distinguish from the two? Perhaps people who suffer from this disorder have some kind of biochemical malfunction. I dont know.
If you let your loved one know that they have hurt your feelings, and they say "I'm sorry you feel that way" instead of "I'm sorry" then you might be dealing with a narcissist.
They are emotional ignoramuses. In a narcissistic family one member is the scape-goat for the rest--the rest being envy driven and shame sensitive. The scape-goat is expected to listen to and help with everyone's problems but when it all gets too much and the scape goat asks for help, no one helps. The upside of being the scape-goat is that the scape-goat is the one who escapes. Listen to Dr. Orloff and do what she tells you no matter how much pain and guilt you feel or you won't ever heal.
@ctweebee Scapegoating dosen't release or absolve the narcissists of their shame: it's purely a delusion. Reality will hit them in the face and they will fall into a deep shame depression and will be so overwhelmed by that they will only attract other failures filled with shame and hatred furthering the cycle ... ultimately, losers stick with each other.
@dutytocareforothers . . . and isolation is a bathed testament. I agree. The narcissist has more emotional ups and down than a person with heathy narcissim. But the narcissistically vulnerable need help too--to extricate themselves from co-dependency. Thanks for the response.
narcisssistic personalities are in government and actively being selected in recruitment processes for posts of jobs in power and authority - check out the work of Brian Gerrish and Common Purpose
That checklist... I can answer YES for all of those, for my doctor... It really really sux to be dependent on someone who actually is a narcissist AND they have the power to basically kill you.
I have a strong feeling that my ex wife is a narcissist thats the reason we separated,,,what scare me is my kids living with her now,,,will my kids wil also be like her because im seeing symptoms with my kids now?will they inherit the attitude and how could i stop this if ever it is,,?please
@edgarlorenzo2000 My husband is a narcissist and 2 of my 3 adult children have this disorder, I believe from watching his example. You need to talk to your kids about the personality disorder and what it has done to your marriage. Sam Vanikin has a video about this: /watch?v=I1m6cVfrnFM
@notdeceived Thank you for giving time,I already talked about this to my kids and i am distressed and sad that i feel its too late for this,I feel this is the worst sickness of all because its really impossible to state my point to them,I really appreciate your time given to me but i will never give up on talking to them,thank you for your advice,God Bless
@notdeceived People do not have the discernment to not marry a narcissist. If you see the terrible traits you avoid this man or woman: people don't use common sense: they think they are in "love".
@edgarlorenzo2000 Be there for your kids and maybe read a lot of literature on the subject, visit (protected) messageboards where people who have been in the same situation can give you good advice (don't waste time on messageboards where narcissists can be found) ....
@Clariccy Hi , Thank you i will try to make some more research on this,this is a very good advice,,,Its really hard to take this Journey by my own but with Gods Help and people like you makes it a little easier with all the knowledge and experience you have,,,I know i will overcome,,,Thank you so much for the time you give i really appreciate it,,God Blesss
@edgarlorenzo2000 Try to focus on you and your kids .... build havens for yourself .... that the Narcissist does not know of .... put your energy into energybuilding resources (from thoughts to mantras to gardens to "out" time to relaxing scents to healthy food to resourceful books to resourceful messageboards to a walk in the woods and so on so forth)
Wish you strength to find healthy solutions and all the best .... to you and your kids xx
@edgarlorenzo2000 My own mother was and is an absolute classic narcissist. I was her 'little confidante' (because every narcissist needs at least one of them) so I've grown up to be an empath, and I'd guess that was inevitable. When it comes to getting attention, no-one can compete with my mum, so I stopped trying years ago. I think that's a more likely scenario than simply 'copying' a narcissistic parent.
Try not to worry - as long as they still have you in their lives they should be okay.
Great, I have a whole family full of these kind of personalities. It is getting too hard to be around. There is too much lowering of expectations.....its killing my spirit.
This is my soon-to-be-(but-not-soon-enough) ex husband, to a T!!!!! I'm sooo glad I left his ass...He would actually say something to me like "Wow honey, you look good in that shirt" and would then tell me exactly what to SAY IN RESPONSE "Say something like..'ooh thank you baby, you're soo hot too'...say that"...UGH!!!!! I'm BPD and DON'T need that kind of man/woman in my life...yuck!!!
@pineappledust I guess we have to just remember unconditional love......thats what works for me after I get derailed by them. We all gotta just get the love flow'n.....it still takes a few days to get back on track. I just had an episode this past weekend. It really hurts sometimes to deal with, but love will ALWAYS be there to heal both parties;)
@drummer4hire12 aw thanks for the comment :) I went to my first rave this weekend and really felt love for the first time. It was awesome, and now I just feel more confident within myself that I know love exists and it's everywhere. Just have to be careful to steer clear of the quicksand...
@starzznkisses Well, the most difficult thing is dealing with the damage she did to my psyche. I don't expect people to be able to read my emotions, and I never expect people to want to help me so I never ask. I really feel like I must be 100% self-sufficient and know no other way to be. I cut off contact with her as much as possible. I'll never forgive her because she's never said sorry. Everyday I struggle to get rid of every single personality trait that I picked up because of her.
I find most people being so boring and plain that I get frustrated by that fact. So I just talk about myself and stuff because I'm more interesting. Any time I can let someone else talk I do, but mostly people are just so predictable. I feel like narcissistic in that way. I get board by people and hate them, but don't want to be alone, so I'm stuck being with people I find boring and then I'm super negative around them because it sucks--only slightly less than being alone. It's tiring.
You are definitely a narcissist. You can't be interested in things other than yourself and your interests so that is why you find others boring, you expect others to be a certain way to please you. You even feel sorry for yourself because others don't live up to your expectations. Actually you probably have narcissistic personality disorder. You won't see it in yourself, and I don't think it's really treatable. Maybe you should just learn to be alone instead of abusing others.
my dads a total narcicist... . its very hard to have a healthy relationship with the man! so i avoid him, the best thing i ever did to help the situation
My husband is one, but his ex-wife is a "stronger one"NPD in my opinion. My husband is absolutely CRUEL to me on a constant basis, but he shows kindness to his ex-wife when she is cruel to him....It is as if he cowers, can't find his balls, when she abuses him. Do they themselves enjoy abuse? What makes him cower to her and grant her every wish, but bully me constantly and go out of his way to make sure that he never is kind to me or grants any request of mine?
@blueguise23 (1/3) My roommate is a severe narcissist. He has no empathy what-so-ever. I find that it is a battle of power with them. Narcissists are all about dominance and they like to feel like they dominate the time, priorities and interests of everyone around them.
I've found that it is almost like their survival instinct is on over-drive. They are scared of not being important and are scared of being dominated.
@blueguise23 (2/3) Usually when they encounter someone that they view as equal to them either intellectually, personality or physically, they'll treat them with respect.
My roommate only finds equals in people who are attractive physically or who have a stronger personality than him. If he finds a guy (yes, he's gay) who is attractive to him but ignores him, then he becomes hooked. He has the need to feel accepted by that individual, b/c they do not fit into their illusion of being superior.
@blueguise23 (3/3) Watching narcissists play mind games is amusing but disturbing. It's rather scary to watch my roommate manipulate people. He has a friend who has poor self-esteem & is suicidal. My roommate actually works to make him feel bad & verbally abuses him. The poor friend still idolizes him. It's sad to watch.
I am a patient person. I have never had a fight with my roommate, but his lack of empathy has gotten to me, so I'm moving. Don't think I could handle a relationship with one.
@Clariccy Yes, I have. He knows, too. My roommate had made no effort to hide the fact that he's a narcissist. However, since my roommate is a popular individual in the gay community, I think his friend just tries to tolerate him to be seen as more acceptable in that group.
@blueguise23 Divorce him before he lowers your self esteem any further. Easier said than done. Having said that I need to run away from my bf now that I know for certain he is a selfish prick.
Narcissists are demons disguised as caring people, but your life means very little to them! They will plot to take your life if they can profit from your death! NEVER MAKE THESE PEOPLE THE BENEFACTOR OF YOUR LIFE INSURANCE POLICY! THESE PEOPLE WILL FAKE KINDNESS AND CONCERN, YET ALL THE WHILE BE PLANNING YOUR DEATH! BEWARE!
@MissWinner247 My experience with a sociopath. (Narcissist ) Over the past year I was very il,l the doctors found no reason for why I was so ill. I was almost unrecognizable and confined to bed.
My narcissist disappears for almost 3 weeks, shows up to tell me he'd found true love and was gone. A few wk's later I was hospitalized & doctors thought I might die.
He showed no caring, no empathy and no love. I believe he left me to die.16 yr's & He didn't care what happened to me.A Narcissists
@Kateygirl2 Wow! Thank God you didn't die! These people are ruthless, I cannot even imagine spending 16 years of my like with one of them! I hope that you are doing better now, but at the very least, you are forever free of him and that alone is a blessing!
@MissWinner247 This is true but I do not believe people don't read the signs earlier on...all the let downs, the promises they can't deliver, the selfishness, it's downright evil. Some of them even pose as religious persons and yet their "BEHAVIOUR" dictates the opposite. Having had personal experience of one such person I know for sure now that there is no cure for this and I am wasting my time trying to reason with with a sociapath.
@MissWinner247 I think that happened to me, too. Extreme narcissists will do that. If you suspect that it has happened to you be sure to report them online, first name and last name.
Narcissists have no soul! You have to have a soul to be able to empathize with others, and their soul is dead! People have lost their lives to these dangerous people, and all narcissists cares about is how they can profit from the death of the people who fall into their trap or who is closet to them, like a family member. They have absolutely NO ABILITY to feel remorse! And if you do not die, as in my case, they will forever hate you for surviving their attempt to end your life!
I'm so glad Dr. Orloff posted this video. I ran into a real pro..And since I have avoided her completely, I feel so much happier and healthier in body and spirit. Narcissists are dangerous people. She wrote me an email not too long ago and wanted to get together for tea, she even apologized to me. At first I was going to meet with her but then I realized that this was just part of her bait to call me into her murky pool of drama, negativity and rage...A good lesson.
how can I deal with ta controller person specially woman . i feel that they see me as someone they can change from me whatever they want, because at the beggining of our relationship i show them that I was open to do what they wanted at that moment because it was new to me but then I get bored of them because they start telling me to do things as an order (sorry about my english) but thats what im dealing with right now with a few new friends and with my mom, they like to be a controllers
what I should do. I'm consistently keeping a positive attitude but the kid keeps bashing me on a daily basis if he doesn't get his way. I moved 1000 miles away from home with nothing but the clothes on my back, giving my all for our company, but this guy is ruining it for me. He wants to be involved in everything I do, take credit, and flips out if things don't go his way. I'm passionate about the job but I need figure out how to handle it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
@MrDMoneyMassacre Narcissists are extremely obsessive compulsive about dressing up their pretense or image as perfect and amazing and that includes making you looks like crap.
I'm in between a rock and a hard place. I have a narcissistic coworker which is my boss's son. He's lived in his father's shadow for his whole life, and now I'm the one who has to take his abuse. I'm learning to limit my contact but I feel that I'm not able to rise up to my full potential because of this guy who consistently tells me all my ideas are wrong and his are right. Also, any good ideas I come up with, he'll find a way to take all the credit and insult me. I love the job but don't know
@MrDMoneyMassacre Find things you find enjoyable and build foundations there, don't let him know about those things .... they are yours .... and perhaps look for a better job
@MrDMoneyMassacre I worked with several students and professors like this in graduate school at UT Austin: it was impossible to pass my classes or continue there. I had to transfer out where I could do my own work, get feedback, and pass until I graduated. Narcissists are absolutely dangerous in every way you can imagine.
Look at me everybody!, I'm not a narcissist, I'm just more important than you are. Look @ who I'm fucking, watch how long I can go without refering to myself in every conversation. I've been there, I've done that, I met so and so, I know everything, I'm rich, I'm mystical, I'm pyschic, I'm pretty, I'm handsome, look at my car, I have super powers, I'm so smart, I'm humble, I'm the best at everything, all of my YouTube comments get thumbs up, I know cause I go back and look at them everyday.
@poignant4insights LOL that's funny but true. Narcissists do sound like that. And even worse is there is literally a cult of narcissists and sympathizers who sympathize and agree with the promotions of pathological narcissism. Pathological narcissism is not only promoted, it's protected and defended as "innocence" or "intellect".
@ChadzTalk I'm not a psychologist, but the fact that you're still in high school, and you're even now considering how your behavior affects your girlfriend and family, tells me that you're not a narcissist! Don't stress, but keep going down the road of self improvement without stressing about it!...cheers
Thank you for the video
hardrockmatt 1 week ago
Oh my...I think I might be narcissistic.
whyyesyes 2 weeks ago
HMMM...Narcissists understand that the most people are incompetent, easily fooled by propaganda, slander, slogans.? NO.most people are honest,trusting,empathic & loving.N's play on & exploit our greatest strengths.Dont be fooled.N's live a delusionary,guarded, predatory existence.they exploit they dont participate.they dont evolve they consume and move on like a virus.The "logic" of N's is twisted,flawed,selfish & hostile.I feel sorry for narcissists, who like vampires should showed the light.
Josephjr4444 2 weeks ago
A Narcissit is a rookie who gets caught manipulating people
MALUMDR 4 weeks ago
Holy crap. I've been having issues for months now because a close friend of mine for some reason always drains my energy and I feel the need to please him. I started to notice there's something very unhealthy about this friendship. Now I know what it is. This totally sucks.
aleafilover 1 month ago
The difference between a narcissist core and a narcissist supply run dry is that a narcissist sees the entire world as existing solely for their benefit or to cause them pain and suffering. A drained narcissist supply usually just wants the world to stop so that they can have a break - they are so accustomed to being drained they don't know what rest or relaxation is. They are always tense around others and run away from or rebel against expectations because of the deep anxiety they feel.
jag216 1 month ago
@jag216 So TRUE!!!!!
iirmo 1 month ago
@jag216 Interesting.
jadujen 1 month ago
@jag216 Hoo boy. Yeah, well put. I've been wondering why I'm so reluctant to get back out into the world after hiding away for so long. I know I'm exhausted and that I attract less than positive circumstances. I wind up drained. I guess I just can't face another draining situation.
RLviddy 1 week ago
More than a vampire, narcissist are emotional black holes. They literally suck in so much emotional energy that none escapes. The problem with this, is that when you run into someone who appears to be a narcissist, you have to also observe their relationships and especially if they are heavily entangled with a boss, spouse or parent - it is possible that they are being tapped so much by a narcissist that they may resort to the same tactics just to get back to zero.
jag216 1 month ago 3
@jag216 You know, Actually I have been wondering about if anyone who are exposed to a narcissist could end up being one himself.. Do you think so?
iirmo 1 month ago
@iirmo It can be caught the same way you catch the cold or the flu but it is usually only temporary until you get away from that person.
auntstacey123 1 month ago
@auntstacey123 It's awfully contagious especially when you have to work in teams like at universities and corporations. Everyone starts imitating the poor quality lying leadership like idiots.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago 2
@dutytocareforothers Yeah, I also see it with some of the people I work with. They are totally delusional & out-of-touch with reality yet they see the rest of us more "normal" people, who see through their mask, as the ones with problem. The only way I can even get along with some of my co-workers is to play along with their game and suck up to them to keep the peace. At the same time, I am totally disgusted with myself for having to do that 'cause I feel like such a fake.
auntstacey123 2 weeks ago
@iirmo great question. There are some people close to a narcissist, who observe how powerfully the narcissist affects (& manipulates) others. Some people get sucked in, want that same charisma, power, pull on people. So they start "learning" from the nar. & try to emulate certain things they admire. Sometimes they also copy the ugly things too. It's quite disgusting, but easily avoidable. Just choose not to be like that! Be aware of your actions, and care about others, etc.
jadujen 1 month ago
@jadujen I'm dealing with a narcissist right now: he is so annoyingly needy and demanding and lacking in any form of empathy that he comes across as autistic and retarded like Forrest Gump. I do not admire his ability to manipulate or his fake and exaggerated charisma: in fact those are such terrible traits to ignore completely.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
@iirmo Whenever you deal with someone who has terrible personal boundary awareness you get 'emotionally cornered' and this drains energy like nobody's business. If you are not able to recoup that energy through unconditional love then you might take advantage of others in order to heal and rebuild. As a matter of damage control, develop a discipline of acting and not reacting. Preemptive strikes and prejudices are cheap and addictive defenses. They isolate the actor and perpetuate the burnout.
jag216 1 week ago
@jag216 Yes exactly. I'm dealing with a narcissist now. He is like a spoiled brat 7 year old who keeps bringing up his accomplishments and rubbing it in my face and bragging about how smart he is. He has accomplishments but expects unending admiration and attention when I'm not the person to get that from.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
@jag216 And yes I'm terribly drained when I have to even talk to him for more than 10 minutes. He is an attention whore and I cannot stand him. He really needs mental help or a circle of friends who can bend over backward for this parasite.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
@syyenergy7 You have no idea how wrong you are. I only look for attention when people can see me. Can you see me now? No. Also, do you think that if that was the case I would actually admit the whole thing? You really don't know much about the topic, do you?
LoonaLuna20 1 month ago
I've run into "friends" like that & yes..super charming but they can be very manipulative & I'm not sure if they realise it so I let them get away w/ crap at times one makes me laugh a lot & most the conversation is 75% her & she makes me feel guilty for having stuff she doesn't have or trying to get me to visit her. I'd hate to lie & say I'm busy & would feel horrible to tell her that she is doing this. Can a narcissist be comfronted? Can I just tell her I can spend only limited time w/ her?
oromuisca 1 month ago
@oromuisca Yes tell her over the phone or easier try email make it extremely detailed, too. The narcissist will get annoyed and dismayed that you have boundaries and standards.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
I've learned (after 30+ years of observation) that, even when you love an intensely narcissistic family member, the best thing for yourself can be to remove yourself from their circle~ get far, FAAAR away. =D
jadujen 1 month ago 15
@jadujen I wish my mother would heed that advice when comes to her extremely narcissistic sister.
auntstacey123 1 month ago
@jadujen Never ever have a child with a narcissist: your child will be brainwashed and transformed into a mutant-like soul draining human who will bring about misery to others. It's best to recognize honest and compassionate traits in others and forms bonds with those type of people: they will protect you and love you in difficult times while a narcissist will add fuel to the fire (loving to destroy, rather than to create).
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
someone else made a good point~ narcissists go from loving & needing you, to de-valuing you if you don't feed them the praise or admiration they desire. They can be amazingly fun, witty, intelligent, charming, and popular. But they're a vortex, because everything ALWAYS has to be about them! It's comically ridiculous. I hate the fact that they don't give a shit about what other people think/experience. You can watch the light drain from their eyes when the attention isn't all on them.
jadujen 1 month ago
I'm actually a narcissist with BPD. Yes I'm a bitch and yes I need constant admiration, but that's only because my self esteem is actually completely screwed up. And in order to feel better I have this bitch like attitude and I try to bring everyone down so that I feel like I'm better than they are. BPD includes unstable self image and when I'm being all perfect in front of others is the only time I don't feel like a total loser. So please don't judge, some of us can't really help it.
LoonaLuna20 2 months ago
@LoonaLuna20 - I think it's great that you can honestly and openly admit that you have this problem. No shame in recognition. Kudos !
SpearofDestiny0 2 months ago
@LoonaLuna20 I also think its great that you have become aware but sayin you can't help it.. is a pretty weak excuse. Do the work it takes to become well. You can do it.
Raynecolwell 2 months ago
@LoonaLuna20 I do judge, as it can be stopped. I've grown up with 2 brilliant, fun, manipulative narcissists. The selfishness sickens me.
jadujen 1 month ago
@jadujen You lucked out! The narcissists I know have never been fun. They are loud, talkative, droning, lecturing, condescending, stubborn, one track minded, argumentative, and boring sad saps.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
@LoonaLuna20 Ha, i know. You're looking for attention right now. Go to a quack pysch and they'll fix you up with some addictive meds. Ya need the crutch. Great for attention.
syyenergy7 1 month ago
@LoonaLuna20 How is it possible to stay out of your path and not get harmed or exploited? I need tips.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
@dutytocareforothers Google 'parentification' and you may find the roots of your sense of duty have been tainted. Your willingness to sacrifice has been groomed by a needy parental figure. You do not have to stop helping others, but you must learn to do it on your own terms and re-evaluate the programming of your conscience if you lived in a relationship where you were constantly forced to take responsibility for the emotional stability of another person.
jag216 1 week ago
I JUST STOP TALKING...IT HELPS ME TO REGROUP...UNTIL I'M READY TO GIVE IT A TRY AGAIN...THIS IS HOW I COPE ;D
maryhadalittlelamb25 2 months ago
Narcissism is for winners!
AOKONE 2 months ago
I need to buy this book.
Lululila67 2 months ago 5
This is my husband and sister in law. hehe.
Lululila67 2 months ago
so what is the difference between a narcissit and a psychopath?
yogsothoth2099 3 months ago
@yogsothoth2099 The severity of narcissistic traits in a person varies greatly which is why they are simply called narcissists. Therefore, I believe, a psychopath is the highest form of narcissism as these people have been known to murder.
danikaWDWICP 2 months ago
@yogsothoth2099 A psychopath experiences serious delusions. Not just "Oh, I'm great and your scum." but more like "You turned into Mickey Mouse! I hate Disney and I must kill Mickey Mouse because Jesus said so." ...or something to that effect.
mconeillster 1 month ago
@noodlyblessing Thanks pal. I kinda suspected that of her. I'm doing good...was just having a heavy day.
birchnbark 3 months ago
OMG, I know few close people that their wife describes Narcissist, and when their husband tolled me they were narcissist, I didn't believe that, I just thought they were plain mean, controlling and jealous.
As to lowering ones expectations, these people always do what their wife want and they never happy, they must put them down in order to feel good, and it drains them as well as limiting them. so how can they stay married and gain happiness with such person, when their children witness that?
Enteryourmind 3 months ago
Thank you so much for this information...being and highly senstive empath, my life has been challenging to say the least, and after all these years I am just coming to grips with how life/ people have been effecting me. I can see that I have been surrounded by narcisist my whole life ( my mother, ex husband, some friends...kids although there I put my foot down! lol) But yeah... what has been, has been but now its time to get control of myself. I really APPRECIATE your help :) Thank you *XXX*
Morn2moon 3 months ago 2
@Morn2moon If you have children with a narcissist don't you think your children will turn out that way too???? It's common sense.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
Great Information Judith. As always, I respect and love what you do and support your work. I wish I had know you / @OMTimes / @Humanityhealing a few years earlier in my own life, as it would have helped with my own understanding - but life unfolds as it is meant too. Much Love & Light to you and yours. dZ
deZengo 3 months ago 2
Help me please, Judith. Just need a way, practically, to transfer to a new life. Thank you.
birchnbark 4 months ago
Help me please, Judith.
birchnbark 4 months ago
Ugh. I think I have a narcisstic person in my life. :( I'm trying to compromise but I feel like crap. She has a way with making me feel solely responsible for the conflicts in our relationships. Yet, she never apologizes for her own actions. While she says she will never change herself for me, she expects *me* to change for her. I'm at the edge now and am seriously questioning the relationship. You shouldn't feel pain and misery from the person you 'love'.
dantespimp 4 months ago
So, basically, listen to narcissistic whims? Doubt it. It's like feeding the "beast". The truthful answer is to attack the narcissist. You know their weaknesses, they can't give strait answers or talk about themselves in a negative light. Don't expect the narcissist to give you anything as far as emotional, or materialistic needs tho. So basically if you are willing to give a big fuck you to them, and willing to fight them (some confrontations can be physical) then you are free from them.
fakename913323 4 months ago
Wow, my Ex is a narcisist. Everything had to be about him, his way, I couldn't do anything to please him, I never lived up to his expectaions know matter what. He was a selfish cheat and never had a moment of regret or sadness about him when he left me to be with his pregant girlfriend, I was absolutely crushed into pieces. Wow, I hope that stupid women got what she wanted, I am finally healed and glad he's long gone.
SammyHagarSim 4 months ago
@SammyHagarSim So Sorry you had to live through this. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. I lived through a similar situation, just be happy you didn't have his kid, then you would still have to deal with him . I am quite sure my ex has borderline personality disorder with narcissistic tendencies.
nataliebowman79 4 months ago
@nataliebowman79 The child would turn out to be a narcissist too or very depressed.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
@SammyHagarSim Why were you attracted to him then? Don't you have intuition? You can tell right away who a narcissist is: the haughty body language, the lack of empathy, bossing you around, telling you what to do, providing unsolicited advice, bragging, and boasting.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
I wish I found this five months ago. It would've saved me so many tears.
jeveuxlesoleil 4 months ago
I have two of those in my family. They are close to me. One threatens to leave me every two months. I am not so young and I am not sure if I should tell him to leave or what. We are married 7 years now. He drinks beer like crazy and so negative.
The number two person is a young man who has given up on life. Lost everything to the world and refuses to "apply himself" when it comes to getting something done.
I don't feel sorry for myself but one of these days the dam is going to break. Donna
DanandDonna1 4 months ago
@DanandDonna1 They sound depressed and disgruntled. Big huge difference.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
I have two of those in my family. They are close to me. One threatens to leave me every two months. I am not so young and I am not sure if I should tell him to leave or what. We are married 7 years now. He drinks beer like crazy and so negative.
The number two person is a young man who has given up on life. Lost everything to the world and refuses to "apply himself" when it comes to getting something done.
I don't feel sorry for myself but one of these days the dam is going to break.
DanandDonna1 4 months ago
Do narcissists threaten peoples lives when they're caught in the act of hurting someone else?
MissingThreatre2002 4 months ago
There is a good and bad side to narcissism, the bad side comes out for the poor souls that believe they are great but never get the validation that their glory starved souls crave for, because in fact they aint shit.The truly great narcissists are super successfull people loved, adored and followed by many and are nice as long as you go with the program but thats normal.
oscie1 5 months ago
My dad is one of the biggest ones! Still breaking my heart and doesn't have a clue. Not talking is sad and talking is sad. Such a bummer.
vonlossberg 5 months ago
@vonlossberg Not talking to the narcissist should fill you with peace and joy as it does me. Every time I ignore the enemy the sun is brighter and life is just all around more satisfying.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
Advice for all involved with a narcissist - GET OUT ASAP!!!! Plan your escape if you have to - do whatever it takes to get out. It takes time to heal afterwards too. It's all very sad. There are others on this earth feeding off kind and good people. Protect yourself while you can. I'm still learning.
JonBrooksComposer 5 months ago
@JonBrooksComposer Yes. What does the narcissist do when you leave? Sulk and pout and then find another poor sucker to harass and exploit?
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
I wondered what was going on in my life, blaming work, blaming myself etc. I thought I was going insane... I have a 3 year old. I am not yet strong enough to help him. I am consumed by guilt and numerous other emotions. It helps when people tell me it's not my fault but it's hard to believe them! ;-( My instinct is to help my wife but everyone's warning me to stay away and is pointing out that's the reason I've been so sick. She nearly killed me. CONTINUED.....
JonBrooksComposer 5 months ago
@JonBrooksComposer Absolutely...the ONLY way is to get out, lay low, and get help. Have NO sympathy, and remember they don't change. Best of luck to anybody married to, or involved with a narcissist, but you can get away, begin to start a new life and re-new. I DID, and haven't looked back. diana
aussiechickdiana 5 months ago in playlist More videos from judithorloffmd
@aussiechickdiana I was involved with a narcissist several yrs ago & it made me real sick. Had all kinds of illnesses & stomach problems. I swear I was throwing up everyday.
auntstacey123 1 month ago
@auntstacey123 Me too. Was dry-retching every morning. Now, I have (finally) left him, no more sickness...
aussiechickdiana 1 month ago
A few months ago I discovered my wife has narcissistic personality disorder. My body was sending me messages and symptoms and i just didn't listen. I only started to listen once my symptoms shut down my whole system. I was physically and emotionally drained. Only with the help of therapists and my own research was I able to understand why and how this all happened. Only now am i beginning to take back my life, and my god, it's the most difficult thing I've ever encountered... CONTINUED....
JonBrooksComposer 5 months ago
@JonBrooksComposer You are very lucky that your therapists actually helped you. My therapists played dumb and acted like I was stupid when I started talking about the problems with narcissists. I guess they were narcissists too because they would defend the bragging, boasting, selfish, and exploitative ways of the narcissists that I knew.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
what if the person i love is a narcissist :( :( :(
Charrrming 5 months ago
My ex was a narcissist; she wouldn't even acknowledge me when I spoke. The only real solution in the end was to dump her, and find somebody who knows what empathy is. Feels good man.
jperson2007 5 months ago
@jperson2007 she might have been a borderline or sociopath… they are the same way...
MrSpemat 5 months ago
@jperson2007 I refuse to acknowledge the narcissist because all he wants is attention and admiration with none of it returned unless he is pressured into it which also sucks the energy out of me: he doesn't care what I have to say and refuses to acknowledge what I know. It's a stubborn and one-track relationship. Avoid these people and never befriend or date them. If you have to work for an idiot like this, document all of your successes because they will try to get you fired.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
What if the narcissist is the closest person t you ? in my case : my father?
wallysk 5 months ago
@wallysk yeah, my stepson is a narcassist....challenging
Skipper1177 5 months ago
It must be a desolate existence not to feel empathy. Pretty harsh responses here.
Certainly limiting contact is a good choice but compassion goes a long way even if only for your sake.
lunalaska 5 months ago
This video was very informative! I've found one of my best friends to be displaying more and more narcissistic traits the older he gets, and the past several months it's been absolutely unbearable. Lately I've been limiting my contact with him, and very soon I plan to just cut off all contact without notice. Narcissists crave attention, be it negative or positive, and I've found that confronting my friend about this only ends in verbal and emotional abuse from him.
suzukimayhem 5 months ago
@suzukimayhem Oh I know. They get "butt hurt" if someone pays attention to you during a social gathering. They hog up all the attention and create competition and animosity. You can tell by their snotty body language that they like to stir the pot and harass others ...
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
Oh, I had an emotional-vampire friend. Wow, she was nasty. They can easily hypnotize people, so it's hard to know when you are caught in their web.
VenusAsABoyFilms 6 months ago
but most people can be all about themselves these days especially how can we know they are NPD if we don't know what they are thinking or maybe they have another personality disorder.
rebba87 6 months ago
Comment removed
ExpIosiveDiarrhea 6 months ago in playlist people are fucked up!
thanks for the hope.. >.>
JesusTheSatanist 6 months ago
I love all of your videos. thanks you so much for sharing them with us <3
Ladyhawkwright 6 months ago
Just buy the book and not talk to your friends !!!!!!!!!i think people know when they are being treated like crap..
TheAngel2134 6 months ago
Yes indeedy! They can suck you dry! Thanks for sharing the word on these types.
Texasfilly101 6 months ago
My mom is the splitter and borderline for the most part and my brother is a sociopath/ narcissist, she/he made me think the other was the bad guy and they went out of their way to make me go against the other... I grew up with seasonal manias and they both made me out to be weak and I won in the long run but it was by ridding myself of the dead borderline and her "golden child" and their drama and I feel so much better...
MrSpemat 7 months ago
Actually, the whole narcissism thing is a little more complicated than this. People have many personalities. You can be narcissist with a person who you may believe to be less intelligent than you are yet be entirely respectfult to another. I think once we all start admitting our negative self righteous attitudes and stop blaming other people, we'll be better off. Am I narcissist because of this?
illnastic 7 months ago
@illnastic There's normal narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder .... which are two different things.
Clariccy 7 months ago
@Clariccy
Yea. I agree 100%. I just think a lot of people can misdiagnose their peers and family with this disorder when in actuality its most likely just normal narcism. But how do we distinguish from the two? Perhaps people who suffer from this disorder have some kind of biochemical malfunction. I dont know.
illnastic 7 months ago
If you let your loved one know that they have hurt your feelings, and they say "I'm sorry you feel that way" instead of "I'm sorry" then you might be dealing with a narcissist.
FoodOrFail 7 months ago
They are emotional ignoramuses. In a narcissistic family one member is the scape-goat for the rest--the rest being envy driven and shame sensitive. The scape-goat is expected to listen to and help with everyone's problems but when it all gets too much and the scape goat asks for help, no one helps. The upside of being the scape-goat is that the scape-goat is the one who escapes. Listen to Dr. Orloff and do what she tells you no matter how much pain and guilt you feel or you won't ever heal.
ctweebee 7 months ago
@ctweebee Scapegoating dosen't release or absolve the narcissists of their shame: it's purely a delusion. Reality will hit them in the face and they will fall into a deep shame depression and will be so overwhelmed by that they will only attract other failures filled with shame and hatred furthering the cycle ... ultimately, losers stick with each other.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
@dutytocareforothers . . . and isolation is a bathed testament. I agree. The narcissist has more emotional ups and down than a person with heathy narcissim. But the narcissistically vulnerable need help too--to extricate themselves from co-dependency. Thanks for the response.
ctweebee 2 weeks ago
narcisssistic personalities are in government and actively being selected in recruitment processes for posts of jobs in power and authority - check out the work of Brian Gerrish and Common Purpose
Bardotbardot 7 months ago
That checklist... I can answer YES for all of those, for my doctor... It really really sux to be dependent on someone who actually is a narcissist AND they have the power to basically kill you.
deadpoetoftheyear 8 months ago
@deadpoetoftheyear Narcissists use gang stalking against their victims. If this starts happening against you report it online.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
I have a strong feeling that my ex wife is a narcissist thats the reason we separated,,,what scare me is my kids living with her now,,,will my kids wil also be like her because im seeing symptoms with my kids now?will they inherit the attitude and how could i stop this if ever it is,,?please
edgarlorenzo2000 8 months ago
@edgarlorenzo2000 My husband is a narcissist and 2 of my 3 adult children have this disorder, I believe from watching his example. You need to talk to your kids about the personality disorder and what it has done to your marriage. Sam Vanikin has a video about this: /watch?v=I1m6cVfrnFM
notdeceived 7 months ago
@notdeceived He also is a narcissist. Hopefully people are aware f that when watching his videos.
Clariccy 7 months ago
@notdeceived Thank you for giving time,I already talked about this to my kids and i am distressed and sad that i feel its too late for this,I feel this is the worst sickness of all because its really impossible to state my point to them,I really appreciate your time given to me but i will never give up on talking to them,thank you for your advice,God Bless
edgarlorenzo2000 7 months ago
@notdeceived Never have kids with a narcissist. Your children will turn out like that: it will be miserable.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
@notdeceived People do not have the discernment to not marry a narcissist. If you see the terrible traits you avoid this man or woman: people don't use common sense: they think they are in "love".
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
@edgarlorenzo2000 Be there for your kids and maybe read a lot of literature on the subject, visit (protected) messageboards where people who have been in the same situation can give you good advice (don't waste time on messageboards where narcissists can be found) ....
Clariccy 7 months ago
@Clariccy Hi , Thank you i will try to make some more research on this,this is a very good advice,,,Its really hard to take this Journey by my own but with Gods Help and people like you makes it a little easier with all the knowledge and experience you have,,,I know i will overcome,,,Thank you so much for the time you give i really appreciate it,,God Blesss
edgarlorenzo2000 7 months ago
@edgarlorenzo2000 Try to focus on you and your kids .... build havens for yourself .... that the Narcissist does not know of .... put your energy into energybuilding resources (from thoughts to mantras to gardens to "out" time to relaxing scents to healthy food to resourceful books to resourceful messageboards to a walk in the woods and so on so forth)
Wish you strength to find healthy solutions and all the best .... to you and your kids xx
Clariccy 7 months ago
@edgarlorenzo2000 Also, if you buy literature, keep it hidden from the arcissist, you don't want extra stress
Clariccy 7 months ago
@edgarlorenzo2000 My own mother was and is an absolute classic narcissist. I was her 'little confidante' (because every narcissist needs at least one of them) so I've grown up to be an empath, and I'd guess that was inevitable. When it comes to getting attention, no-one can compete with my mum, so I stopped trying years ago. I think that's a more likely scenario than simply 'copying' a narcissistic parent.
Try not to worry - as long as they still have you in their lives they should be okay.
Maerahn 6 months ago
Great, I have a whole family full of these kind of personalities. It is getting too hard to be around. There is too much lowering of expectations.....its killing my spirit.
drummer4hire12 8 months ago
@drummer4hire12 Atleast you are aware !
Clariccy 7 months ago
yeah this video was helpful and hurtful...i married one.
mountainsandsea 8 months ago
This is my soon-to-be-(but-not-soon-enough) ex husband, to a T!!!!! I'm sooo glad I left his ass...He would actually say something to me like "Wow honey, you look good in that shirt" and would then tell me exactly what to SAY IN RESPONSE "Say something like..'ooh thank you baby, you're soo hot too'...say that"...UGH!!!!! I'm BPD and DON'T need that kind of man/woman in my life...yuck!!!
calamityjenn1 8 months ago
One rule and one rule only: GET OUT NOW!
djbethell 8 months ago 10
Thanks, that was very helpful. :)
EvaBrick8 8 months ago
Thanks to you I am going well again. I've spent two years in the dark life. Thank you.
giggino58 9 months ago
It becomes complicated when the narcissist is your mom...
pineappledust 9 months ago 9
@pineappledust lol
ayub96 8 months ago
@pineappledust ....how about your whole family??!?!?!?
drummer4hire12 8 months ago
@drummer4hire12 lol i know tell me about it. narcissism feels like an epidemic sometimes
pineappledust 8 months ago
@pineappledust I guess we have to just remember unconditional love......thats what works for me after I get derailed by them. We all gotta just get the love flow'n.....it still takes a few days to get back on track. I just had an episode this past weekend. It really hurts sometimes to deal with, but love will ALWAYS be there to heal both parties;)
drummer4hire12 8 months ago
@drummer4hire12 aw thanks for the comment :) I went to my first rave this weekend and really felt love for the first time. It was awesome, and now I just feel more confident within myself that I know love exists and it's everywhere. Just have to be careful to steer clear of the quicksand...
pineappledust 8 months ago
@pineappledust Yeah....quicksand may look very interesting, just keep the toes away and you will be safe just observing;)
drummer4hire12 8 months ago
@pineappledust You should cut your mom off.
13SuperKings 5 months ago
@13SuperKings Thanks. Everyday is a step in that direction... and somehow, everyday seems better than the last.
pineappledust 5 months ago
@pineappledust Right?! Sooo how do you handle that?
starzznkisses 5 months ago
@starzznkisses Well, the most difficult thing is dealing with the damage she did to my psyche. I don't expect people to be able to read my emotions, and I never expect people to want to help me so I never ask. I really feel like I must be 100% self-sufficient and know no other way to be. I cut off contact with her as much as possible. I'll never forgive her because she's never said sorry. Everyday I struggle to get rid of every single personality trait that I picked up because of her.
pineappledust 5 months ago
I answered "yes" to all five questions about my girlfriend...WOW!
cain825 9 months ago
@cain825 As long as you haven't said "yes" to the wedding question, you're in clear mate :P
Sprookjesverteller 9 months ago
@Sprookjesverteller ...great comment;)
drummer4hire12 8 months ago
My mother's husband gets a YES to EVERY question!!!!!!! AND HER TOO
mrschrisc 9 months ago
Judith is great
1blondeberrymuffin 9 months ago
I find most people being so boring and plain that I get frustrated by that fact. So I just talk about myself and stuff because I'm more interesting. Any time I can let someone else talk I do, but mostly people are just so predictable. I feel like narcissistic in that way. I get board by people and hate them, but don't want to be alone, so I'm stuck being with people I find boring and then I'm super negative around them because it sucks--only slightly less than being alone. It's tiring.
amabo187 9 months ago
@amabo187
You are definitely a narcissist. You can't be interested in things other than yourself and your interests so that is why you find others boring, you expect others to be a certain way to please you. You even feel sorry for yourself because others don't live up to your expectations. Actually you probably have narcissistic personality disorder. You won't see it in yourself, and I don't think it's really treatable. Maybe you should just learn to be alone instead of abusing others.
knowingwhoiam 9 months ago
@knowingwhoiam It's way more full-filling to be alone. And NPD also looks like Asperger's Syndrome (Autism).
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
@dutytocareforothers I think I was responding to someone, LOL I'm surrounded by Aspies, yes there are definite similarities.
knowingwhoiam 2 weeks ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@knowingwhoiam So how do you handle Aspies?
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
@amabo187 Narcissists are always bored. I'm confused about why they end up doing crap like workplace mobbing and gang stalking????
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
my dads a total narcicist... . its very hard to have a healthy relationship with the man! so i avoid him, the best thing i ever did to help the situation
MrAirickWarhol 9 months ago
My husband is one, but his ex-wife is a "stronger one"NPD in my opinion. My husband is absolutely CRUEL to me on a constant basis, but he shows kindness to his ex-wife when she is cruel to him....It is as if he cowers, can't find his balls, when she abuses him. Do they themselves enjoy abuse? What makes him cower to her and grant her every wish, but bully me constantly and go out of his way to make sure that he never is kind to me or grants any request of mine?
blueguise23 9 months ago
@blueguise23 (1/3) My roommate is a severe narcissist. He has no empathy what-so-ever. I find that it is a battle of power with them. Narcissists are all about dominance and they like to feel like they dominate the time, priorities and interests of everyone around them.
I've found that it is almost like their survival instinct is on over-drive. They are scared of not being important and are scared of being dominated.
GrowTheTruth 9 months ago
@blueguise23 (2/3) Usually when they encounter someone that they view as equal to them either intellectually, personality or physically, they'll treat them with respect.
My roommate only finds equals in people who are attractive physically or who have a stronger personality than him. If he finds a guy (yes, he's gay) who is attractive to him but ignores him, then he becomes hooked. He has the need to feel accepted by that individual, b/c they do not fit into their illusion of being superior.
GrowTheTruth 9 months ago
@blueguise23 (3/3) Watching narcissists play mind games is amusing but disturbing. It's rather scary to watch my roommate manipulate people. He has a friend who has poor self-esteem & is suicidal. My roommate actually works to make him feel bad & verbally abuses him. The poor friend still idolizes him. It's sad to watch.
I am a patient person. I have never had a fight with my roommate, but his lack of empathy has gotten to me, so I'm moving. Don't think I could handle a relationship with one.
GrowTheTruth 9 months ago
@GrowTheTruth Have you tried to tell the suicidal person what your roommate is about ?
Clariccy 7 months ago
@Clariccy Yes, I have. He knows, too. My roommate had made no effort to hide the fact that he's a narcissist. However, since my roommate is a popular individual in the gay community, I think his friend just tries to tolerate him to be seen as more acceptable in that group.
GrowTheTruth 7 months ago
@blueguise23 Divorce him before he lowers your self esteem any further. Easier said than done. Having said that I need to run away from my bf now that I know for certain he is a selfish prick.
andicatz 9 months ago
@blueguise23 I know exactly what you're saying...
mountainsandsea 8 months ago
Narcissists are demons disguised as caring people, but your life means very little to them! They will plot to take your life if they can profit from your death! NEVER MAKE THESE PEOPLE THE BENEFACTOR OF YOUR LIFE INSURANCE POLICY! THESE PEOPLE WILL FAKE KINDNESS AND CONCERN, YET ALL THE WHILE BE PLANNING YOUR DEATH! BEWARE!
MissWinner247 10 months ago
@MissWinner247 My experience with a sociopath. (Narcissist ) Over the past year I was very il,l the doctors found no reason for why I was so ill. I was almost unrecognizable and confined to bed.
My narcissist disappears for almost 3 weeks, shows up to tell me he'd found true love and was gone. A few wk's later I was hospitalized & doctors thought I might die.
He showed no caring, no empathy and no love. I believe he left me to die.16 yr's & He didn't care what happened to me.A Narcissists
Kateygirl2 10 months ago
@Kateygirl2 Wow! Thank God you didn't die! These people are ruthless, I cannot even imagine spending 16 years of my like with one of them! I hope that you are doing better now, but at the very least, you are forever free of him and that alone is a blessing!
MissWinner247 10 months ago
@MissWinner247 This is true but I do not believe people don't read the signs earlier on...all the let downs, the promises they can't deliver, the selfishness, it's downright evil. Some of them even pose as religious persons and yet their "BEHAVIOUR" dictates the opposite. Having had personal experience of one such person I know for sure now that there is no cure for this and I am wasting my time trying to reason with with a sociapath.
andicatz 9 months ago
@MissWinner247 I think that happened to me, too. Extreme narcissists will do that. If you suspect that it has happened to you be sure to report them online, first name and last name.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
Narcissists have no soul! You have to have a soul to be able to empathize with others, and their soul is dead! People have lost their lives to these dangerous people, and all narcissists cares about is how they can profit from the death of the people who fall into their trap or who is closet to them, like a family member. They have absolutely NO ABILITY to feel remorse! And if you do not die, as in my case, they will forever hate you for surviving their attempt to end your life!
MissWinner247 10 months ago
I'm so glad Dr. Orloff posted this video. I ran into a real pro..And since I have avoided her completely, I feel so much happier and healthier in body and spirit. Narcissists are dangerous people. She wrote me an email not too long ago and wanted to get together for tea, she even apologized to me. At first I was going to meet with her but then I realized that this was just part of her bait to call me into her murky pool of drama, negativity and rage...A good lesson.
bemarywilson 10 months ago
how can I deal with ta controller person specially woman . i feel that they see me as someone they can change from me whatever they want, because at the beggining of our relationship i show them that I was open to do what they wanted at that moment because it was new to me but then I get bored of them because they start telling me to do things as an order (sorry about my english) but thats what im dealing with right now with a few new friends and with my mom, they like to be a controllers
jburckhardt 10 months ago
what I should do. I'm consistently keeping a positive attitude but the kid keeps bashing me on a daily basis if he doesn't get his way. I moved 1000 miles away from home with nothing but the clothes on my back, giving my all for our company, but this guy is ruining it for me. He wants to be involved in everything I do, take credit, and flips out if things don't go his way. I'm passionate about the job but I need figure out how to handle it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
MrDMoneyMassacre 10 months ago
@MrDMoneyMassacre Narcissists are extremely obsessive compulsive about dressing up their pretense or image as perfect and amazing and that includes making you looks like crap.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
I'm in between a rock and a hard place. I have a narcissistic coworker which is my boss's son. He's lived in his father's shadow for his whole life, and now I'm the one who has to take his abuse. I'm learning to limit my contact but I feel that I'm not able to rise up to my full potential because of this guy who consistently tells me all my ideas are wrong and his are right. Also, any good ideas I come up with, he'll find a way to take all the credit and insult me. I love the job but don't know
MrDMoneyMassacre 10 months ago
@MrDMoneyMassacre Find things you find enjoyable and build foundations there, don't let him know about those things .... they are yours .... and perhaps look for a better job
Clariccy 7 months ago
@MrDMoneyMassacre I worked with several students and professors like this in graduate school at UT Austin: it was impossible to pass my classes or continue there. I had to transfer out where I could do my own work, get feedback, and pass until I graduated. Narcissists are absolutely dangerous in every way you can imagine.
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
if u found this video and u suspect u r involed with one run away trust me
WolfLantern1 10 months ago
Look at me everybody!, I'm not a narcissist, I'm just more important than you are. Look @ who I'm fucking, watch how long I can go without refering to myself in every conversation. I've been there, I've done that, I met so and so, I know everything, I'm rich, I'm mystical, I'm pyschic, I'm pretty, I'm handsome, look at my car, I have super powers, I'm so smart, I'm humble, I'm the best at everything, all of my YouTube comments get thumbs up, I know cause I go back and look at them everyday.
poignant4insights 11 months ago
@poignant4insights LOL that's funny but true. Narcissists do sound like that. And even worse is there is literally a cult of narcissists and sympathizers who sympathize and agree with the promotions of pathological narcissism. Pathological narcissism is not only promoted, it's protected and defended as "innocence" or "intellect".
dutytocareforothers 2 weeks ago
and sometimes she wins, sometimes I do, sometimes nobody.
I really do love her, if I am a narcissist, what can I do to make things more pleasant for her and my family?
I'm in highsxhool if it makes any difference.
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ChadzTalk 11 months ago
@ChadzTalk I'm not a psychologist, but the fact that you're still in high school, and you're even now considering how your behavior affects your girlfriend and family, tells me that you're not a narcissist! Don't stress, but keep going down the road of self improvement without stressing about it!...cheers
salsalover69laters 11 months ago
@salsalover69laters Thank you!
i started thinking about it when my parents threatened to disown me yesterday, and send me to a home.
I just have some narcissistic traits to work on.
:)
ChadzTalk 11 months ago