DEVELOPED Project direct finalist 09

[acidotornasol]

cool shot at 3:10

[ronaldchughes]

I keep coming back, why is it that this pulls so strong. What I think works it the black tone all the way through sound like pain rather then anger. It pulls you toward one emotion when the other one is just below it and at time I feel a bit sick to the stomack... Like all your stuff it makes me feel.

[appleplum88]

Nice!

[tomswindell]

Well done my friend superb work.

[danjam100]

Nicely directed. Story's a bit weak - having her talking to herself detracts from the otherwise naturalistic style. You don't make any use of music, which could give it an extra edge. Her voice would be better dubbed as a VO, or even done direct to camera if she was making one last film - which could make sense in the context of the story. Also, Lawson is spelt wrong in one of the credits...?!

[eleven12thirteen]

i thought that was very good :)

[talatsmum]

mmm well.. ive never appreciated short filmy thingys that much im too shllow lol.. it was good though..

[DANDIFXCKINGDOMINO]

babybabybabybabybabybabybabyba­by

[blogward]

Well done, but not a winner I fear. There's not enough surprise in the payoff.

[ronaldchughes]

Well done, having read some other peoplw comments and taking them on board I would suggest you remove the man. TRy it without the blood.

[jimbooboo]

lame

[ytuser2yahoo]

good one

[ytuser2yahoo]

hi

[ktbergh]

I liked it. I thought the character's narration was spot on, and the videography, editing and ambient sound appropriate. It felt more like a journal (that we were allowed to peek inside) than a film...highly personal and disturbing. Question, though...how did she keep her obsessive boyfriend "out" until she was ready to bludgeon him to death?

[autosuggestion]

if you don't spread this to 1 other video.

you will sneeze.

your choice.

[woahitskarilyn]

There was one shot where half the woman's face was in shadows that just made me go..."Whoa."

The idea that the entire piece is told from either her mental monologue or her final words to her victim is excellent.

Personally, I like the lack of sounds. Just the low background noise makes it seem so much more real. It isn't meant to sound like a film. It's supposed to be real.

[wandel81]

Interesting certainly. The camera work was alright, but could have been better. I think some atmospheric sound would have helped this be more potent. Sound is of course incredibly important and is the one thing that lets most independant shorts down. Also some playing around with image colour and grading would have certainly made this more atmospheric. I think the writing was good and that it has been let down by both picture and sound.

[oskinzee24]

never underestimate the power of silence. Music would have drowned it. The voiceover was powerful enough in my opinion.

[J4K3R00N3Y]

That was a bit twisted, i think she needs to see someone, quickly!

[borderbound]

beautiful and possibly talented actress - stories been done a hundred times. I really liked the idea of covering herself up and how that was slowly built up.

script was shit - and sound quality not good.

nice idea, keep at it (happy new year!)

[jellybellyiz]

I think i've missed the point of the meaning for this video..can anyone explain? I'm not hating it..just don't get it.?

[gabrgs]

uhh. . . okay.

[azforumz]

crapy because its horny like me and george bush penic

[lnfu]

Happy New Year!

[nsgmusic]

OMG not an arty film to challenge my intelect! sorry im too stupid and modern for this... first 10 seconds im OUTTIEEE..

[mirosotoz]

what the fuck is this supposed to be?!

If its a movie then it sucks GOATBALLS.

[thekind1975]

very good

[lmariscotti]

Interesting. The sort of short film that one might see at Tate Modern.

[santonegro619]

that "vuz" touching

[TARDOTv]

DVX

[Iscutiecab]

Intense

[rygutz1]

this film was excellent.

i'm reading Rellic's criticism and MY GOD what a moron.

[witheringsanity]

i found this video to be amazing. the perfect short story. my top pick out of the 10 finalists and the only one i'm commenting on.

excellent job

[eveholthausen]

How narcissistic has this woman become? The world does not revolve around oneself. I would not like to see anymore about "the poor thing".

[richlaw70]

Thanks for all the comments. We were all amazed the film was chosen for the top ten. As many of you have noticed a red phone did not have to mean a Presidential red phone and was allowed to have an artistic interpretation. No music because we have no cash and using music wasn't necessary. It's often a manipulator of emotions. It doesn't create the emotion. That comes from story telling, and the actor, Rellic. Thanks for all the comments both positive and negative!

[RelicKBNM]

This a finalist? Doesn't even have any music... No music no emotion.

Atleast add some of those special effects like a sudden flashback where he tore your clothes apart or something and you screamed to make it more interesting. All I can see is you one fcked up woman beating up a boy (who was heavily breathing while dead btw 3.34-3.37)

And a personal opinion: I hate that accent and the story is so bullsh!t. Her life is ruined. As if she ever had a life.... I think this movie is sh!t

[eleven12thirteen]

i know you don't like this movie but couldn't you at least say it in a nicer way?

[polypeptide]

Very nice job! I love how you used the guy's blood for the red phone, that was really creative...and i love how you told the story!

[dzedward]

sweet

[remon2011]

Very impressive!!

[willowakatrevor]

Wow amazing, I especially like the part where the editor walks past door!

[MBBarnett]

The piece is quiet. A breath of fresh air as compared to other entries that are no more than music videos. You have story to tell, and you do so through imagery (quite nicely). Well done.

[chaj05]

I like that her voice carries it from beginning to end. And we don't really know what she's up to until the end. I could feel the emptiness beneath her voice.

[oskinzee24]

Really powerful. I love it. Hope this wins.

[Gvillalba]

Interesting film but you have a white phone when they asked to use a red phone, I don't see a red phone. I don't understand why they selected your movie if you didn't followed the rules.. please correct me if I'm wrong...

[oskinzee24]

its right at the end, when covered in blood.

[Gvillalba]

I'm sorry but I can clearly see that's not a red phone, that's the same white phone you used at the beginning.

I don't mind the other props, the red phone is a must amigo.

[ohitsbeijhan]

blood is red

white phone smothered in blood is genius :)

[ichibangold]

I share your sentiment. There's no red phone but it was chosen as a finalist anyway. It was a good film and all but no red phone.

The smattering of blood on the plastic wrapped phone doesn't make it red. It wasn't even completely covered in blood.

[italk2youdotcom]

Agreed plus she kills someone... what about the rule against harming any "being". They picked 3 or 4 in the top ten that clearly do not follow the rules of the contest... but this might explain why you rarely see any sundance movies "making it big"... all the judges picked were the strangest most violent ones... check my sundance playlist... i have all the other movies they passed over... like 197 others.

[italk2youdotcom]

The complete Sundance Project Direct Playlist of all the entries is on my channel... see for yourself.

[satanspy]

American haiku was the best of all with most potential

[Urgelt]

You sure have *my* attention.

This is a great little film; clever in conception, elegant in execution, and a poetic soliloquy delivered with panache and punch.

Thanks for sharing this!

[fehquig]

Every angle is brilliantly composed...

[Lynchpin07]

That poncho rocks

[ponhand]

Great Mind game. I like how you purposefully shift my attention from text to visual and back and forth. Also the way you've prepared the psyche of the viewer with your amazing tens calm monolouge overlaying the action. Truly remarcable work.

[amoebaboy]

fantastic stuff! just popped over from b3ta to leave a comment, good luck with the film.

[mintomagicVS]

Very good. Cold and scary killer. Really like the line "never been so happy for a Gideons Bible when you brought the story of God"