Christopher Titus - Norman Rockwell is Bleeding 2/9

[TsuyuKusaXNeshiro]

I'm the 663,366 viewer...

[GaarasxSandxCookie]

@TsuyuKusaXNeshiro I'm the 666, 260th viewer.

[GeneralSnapjaw]

24 people likes Shitty Dane Cook

[MikeTheOldguy]

if you had some shrooms. that evil mouse snow skiing would of came at you

[luvstruck92]

Technically, falling into a bonfire is a three step program. Step 1. Fall into the fire. Step 2. Think, "OW! FUCK!" Step 3. Stop drinking.

[sephiroth21347]

*cough* daaaaad *coughs blood up* Oh god, get it off me. *Opens beer bottle* You ain't dead, get it off yourself. LOLZ

[t3knosoulz]

"NEVERMORE WUSSEH SHALL I BE!"

[nightkid60]

no.. wait wait..

[MichaelHansenFUN]

4:10 WOW I WISH I DID SOMETHING......different. high school in those days should have been midnight movies!!!! because it is such a cherished memory!!! they dont have those like that anymore....

[oldschool4real69]

It's Beer O'Clock !!!!!!

[twistedstrange]

Don't you hate it when the top comment has one freaking misspelling? /twitch

[Aidne92]

Christopher Titus is the funniest man ever!

[0079Gundamfan]

[DADS FIST CAM]

[gretschcatalinamaple]

and we are hiiiiiiiiiiigh! lmfao!



[motocrosswt]

daaaaaaaddddddd o god get it of meeeeee

[movieaddict19]

I did not lose your crescent wrench, you're such a dickwad lol

[legendrobotmaster2]

where did they get a telephone pole?

[theherokiller193080]

huh 24 normal people left from watching part two

[hellopeople001]

do not, i repeat, DO NOT watch these videos while drinkig straight off the stove tee that realaxes you and helps you sleep, IT DOES NOT END WELL! laughing + blister the hide off your tounge liquids = PAIN!

[6446663]

24 people need to stop being wussies

[ReachingOutForGOD]

With that haircut...he's like a funny version of Conan

[SephirothClone89]

24 wussies disliked this video

[kitluv05]

23 people fell into a bonfire.

[skepticalsinner]

"Oh great.... now theyre performing drunk triage on me"

[sevelev711]

We're going over 100 MPH.......And we are HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH!

[toothbrush71]

@samsndea.....whatever. yes they do

[samanddeanfan2009]

you wanna fight like a man, you better start drinkin like one. well, real men don't need to drink. BOOYA!

[LuciusStrabo]

@samanddeanfan2009 They don't need to they choose to.

[Dr1nkToYouth]

"Hey, sleep it off man, you gotta drive to Taco Bell."

XD

[cobyquartz]

hey sleep it off man u gotta drive to taco bell

[MiaDepRockRionII]

I got some moves now huh? I'm not seven anymore am I.?

[melindaanna1]

"We didnt win the blue ribbon... but we have it in our possession "  (: haha

[ventusalchemist]

never more a wussy i shall be

[okaminodoku]

HHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII­IIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG­GGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH­

[DarkDreamz16]

My mom was insane; of course I don't mean my mom's insane I mean "We the jury find the defendant..."

Christopher Titus = Awesome.

[TakingOnToday]

Stopped Drinking When I Was 17...I Fell Into A Bonfire...Forget AA When You Fall Into A BonfireXD

[bsbfan05]

my drunk friends proceed to stomp me out

[vegetafan09]

Quit bein a wussy!!!! lol love that part cuz I heard that a lot too

[zyclan1]

23 people suck

[SuperTj003]

@zyclan1 no 23 people are wussys

[heavymetalvampyr]

@zyclan1 24

[Fateruler]

4:7 with captions on: no we figured just leaderboard probably buy it

Translation: No we figured, just leave the boy out front, we'll be by

Google needs to step it up >.>

[ADTRscreamo69]

kick. fucking. ass....

[rasicar]

"There was a doctor, a weed-whacker and a fucking rake!"

[li9hts0ut56]

23 people dont know how to step to the side of the fan

[TheDarklayla]

High!! *shakes head* hiighhhh!! can no longer hold my body up right hiiiighhhh!!!!

[Demon666x3]

we didn't win the ribbon..but we have it in our possion..classic line man!

I you'd have to be in a pretty fucked up family to FULLY understand that..lucky for me I am in one!

[Finlandperkele]

@Demon666x3 Possession*

[antiicoool]

kicked ass at the father son picnic too, we didn't win the blue ribbon, but.. we have it in our possession.

[MichaelHansenFUN]

this is the basis of the show. watch the show on dvd!

[FerretJohn]

Great way to fight, arms down and face presented. "Yeah, you want a piece of this? Come on!"

[Allmightyrob]

23 people got stomped out by there friends.

[Demithegoddess]

A doctor, a weed whacker and a fuckin' rake!"

[unclep1971]

anyone know where I can find this DVD?

[pirateatheart123]

23 people challenged dad to a fist fight xD

[JSto2369]

two more beers...

[JSto2369]

thank you father I'm so much better now,never more wussy shall I be, I can stil try out for the soccer team although not goalie 

[BlazieTiger]

and quit  BEIN' A WUSSAH!!!!

[lurch6stringsdown]

Now you look like jesus....

[Vampirelover12100]

" Guys man.....There's a cloud up there.......that looks like an evil mouse snoskien man."

And they were so high they got out to look at it.

[Vampirelover12100]

" Guys man.....There's a cloud up there.......that looks like an evil mouse snoskien man."

[XxHellsingrulzxX]

"Anybody look back on their high school carrer and just shudder at the crap you got away with and didn't DIE"

[theimmortalemperor]

" hi you've just instergated your own mugging, Come On Down!" LOL

[1xgloopx6]

i have gotten close to kicking my dads ass i have been kick boxing and submission grappelling so i have a chance

[KageGodo]

@1xgloopx6 when you train in self disiplined martial arts and have a family military history back to dino wars it's stupid to think you can whip your dads ass.... my situation? unless i grapple him (suck at armstrength but m grip is so good i can't beleive it.) or use his strength against him i'm dead. your lucky. im not

[neyogroupie]

titus is the best no doubt

[headhunter220]

i can still try out for the soccer team although not goalie

[Blasted2Oblivion]

we are hiiiiiiiiigh. hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

[JoshuaAhalt]

"We didn't win the blue ribbon..but we have it in out possession

[rednecktech10]

@JoshuaAhalt 24 people got their asses kicked at the father-son picnic

[DisneyGirlCA]

@JoshuaAhalt Oh god that part kills me every time!

[MrDuhet]

you aint dead get it off yourself...lol

[kinggarus]

i kicked the shit out of my dad... what a pussy

[humdrumfeast]

@kinggarus such a proud boy you must be. maybe it was your dad that was the pussy...hey i just like to examine things from all angles

[kinggarus]

@humdrumfeast that is what i meant lol... that my dad is a total puss

[humdrumfeast]

@kinggarus oh haha, my bad

[Zankiser]

"That's close to my face... AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!­!"

[lasthuman1]

Wow! The stupidest thing i ever did was put my arms on an electric cow fence. That was nothing compared to this.

[koolace88]

ever notice... all the ppl who get thumbs up ave perfect spelling and capitals at the beginning and periods at end? its like they r trying to get thumbs up without telling any1... its like all the ppl just thumbs up ppl with capitals and periods....

[kinggarus]

We didn't win the blue ribbon, but we have it in our possession.

[jmike1231]

Hey!... No clinching. No hitting below the belt. GO!

[k2daBoose]

"I woke to an EKG machine beeping" LMAO

[PieMaster1994]

"I did NOT lose your creasent wrench, you're such a dickwad."

[JCChasezlover645]

first time I saw this on TV I thought he looked like a mouse, but I will admit, he has a nice smle and he's really funny for a 46 year old.

[JCChasezlover645]

he can do a surfer guy's voice very well.

Being all like, "AH dude you know?"

[iampr1m]

cloud that looks like an evil mouse snow skiing.

[serenahawamdeh]

Then my drunk friends proceed to STOMP me out......hahahahahahaaaaaa! DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE!

[vamheart102]

great way to fight even i know better that that and my mother taught me

[thtktgrl]

@vamheart102 He was being sarcastic

[xXxOHAIRxXx]

His childhood reminds me of the movie Dazed and Confused O_O lol

[smokey2124]

a doctor, a weed wacker and a fucking rake. funny shit

[AlbanyRose]

He's GORGEOUS. And his voice is Hot.

[IluvKirito]

@AlbanyRose Oh thank goodness I'm not the only person who thinks this!! :'D

[MCG55SS]

@XxchickyemoXx alot of people have no idea who he is, my wife just found him randomly on youtube on the side bar and i am so happy that she did but before we lucked out i didn't know who he was

[SOA209]

yea falling into a bondfire is a one step program

[Skullz930]

I DID NOT STEAL YOUR CRESCENT WRENCH, YOU'RE SUCH A DICKWAD!!! XD

[JoshuaAhalt]

We were burning a telephone pole. idk where we got a telephone pole. i do know its pretty high up there on the drunk theft list

[JGrizzley95]

8:56-9:01 LMAO

[chaseman3]

Thought my Dad was lazy...turns out he was just restin' up.

[ParamoreFanofAllTime]

dude man get his hair! get his hair!

[theoneandonlygrod]

"There was a doctor, a weed whacker and a fuckin' rake!" Sounds like the start of a bar joke, doesn't it?

[Rebel2point0]

4:23 - Epic.

[LittleMsMadness]

cops in my neighborhood knew me too! :D

[tuttoz]

very true haha , i got into a fist fight with ma paps ... but we cool , thats the thing with us man , we can beat the shit out of eachother and be cool the next day ... at least thats the case with me haha .

[steviebgrey]

great way to fight, arms down face presented

[Rayman634]

OMG CHRISTOPHER TITUS IS 2 FUNNY LOL. THANK YOU FATHER I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW LOL

[TheNightwalker000]

Two choices be burnt to death or be kicked by your freinds.

[JazzyCupcakes]

Fight with my dad?

Fuck that he has NOTHING on my mother.

[sillyjazzs]

@JazzyCupcakes You have MAMA LIKE THAT TOO? I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE

[JazzyCupcakes]

@sillyjazzs Hahaha, sorry I didn't get this earlier. But yeah, damn straight...my mother can take out a group of full grown men!

[kittyloserface]

Never more wussy shall I be!!

[copnite12342]

thats how papa quit smoking

he had a ciggertte problem

but he went cold chiken

right after burning our house down. luckily i was'nt born then

[squalleonhart234]

@copnite12342 COLD TURKEY not chicken

[jonm3000]

QUIT BE A WUSSY!!!!!

[Lemon0Raver]

"Oh, thank you, father, I'm so much better now! Never more wussy shall I be! I can still try out for the soccer team."

[EtherealVeracity]

@Lemon0Raver Although not goalie...:/

[gotdirt66]

who here has got into a fist fight with their dad. i have.

[copnite12342]

@gotdirt66 so did i . he was beating mom so i soked him in the spine it was my 15th b-day. who say girls can fight?

[KainStrider]

21 people are cocksuckers.

[NinjaBunnyPro]

"i wasnt evil as a kid, i just pulled alot of pranks tht happened to be felonies" XD

[GoldenBlue437]

The bonfire thing never fails to make me laugh.

[Shadowknight13]

This guy coulda been Ace Ventura

[oroizwvm]

@Shadowknight13 nope jim carrey still better

[JesterNlove]

"Never more a wussy shall i be!"

[ijerkfornoreason]

8:45 its a defendant like it or dont we just leave me that during that mcCain

LOL

GOOGLE U FAILL

[ramires23]

BRILLIANT

[parkesc21]

Yeah

"I imagine the FARC about must have been"

[Neshumurru]

Christopher Titus is one of the best comedians of all times.

[MrKevstro]

although not goalie...

[huskyrider100]

EVERYONE TURN ON THE CAPTIONS IT HILARIOUS

[milkcan42]

@huskyrider100 holy cow thats funny

poor deaf people

[nomadmalachi]

TITUS ROCKS!!!

[funnyvidzzz]

3:33

[shonenjump18]

I would like to put my sister and Ken Titus in the same house for a few days with security cameras so I can see what happens.

[korusi]

@shonenjump18 They aren't related and she's a woman. Assuming she were of age he'd probably have sex with her. Or try to.

[All4Gaming]

defiantly one of the funniest comedians out there

[carriker420]

i love love love love this guy!! "falling into a bonfire is a one step program" :) true that!!

[ThePotking18]

Hi youve just instigated your own mugging come on down.

[Lazima4496]

alright go play, quit being a wussy. "thank you tou father, i'm so much better now. Never more wussy shall I be. I can still try out for the soccer team... although not goalee..."

[xHearter]

i hope all this isn't literal. .

I mean, if itis, that's obuse.

[Gugemunga]

@xHearter welcome to the 80's and 70's to go into social services you had to be REALLY abused.

[demboys18]

@Gugemunga Lol, I love how he says "we didn't have the conditions we invented now a days."

[keilxkey2255]

@xHearter

I don't know about obuse,

but I do know to use a space bar.

(BTW: it's 'abuse')

[VaniKayne]

@keilxkey2255 It's not abuse! This is just the RIGHT way to raise children lolz

[keilxkey2255]

@VaniKayne

I didn't think it was abuse, either.

I was just being a grammar nazi.

:D

[VaniKayne]

@keilxkey2255 Grammer Nazi!!!! Hiel Mien Pronoun!!!! lolz

[69suicides]

hi! youve just instigated your own mugging! Come on down!!!!

[Itachi55463]

FUNNY!!!

[KennyMaru]

I did not lose your crescent wrench! You're such a dickwad!

He kinda sounds like Keanu Reeves to me there.

[Aphasia17]

"i did not lose your crescent wrench- your such a dickwad"

[LogWiz]

you know No offense but....his funny as fuck but he must have lived a fucked up life. sucks to have a mom as a skitzo. never to have that real mom love. i was raised by my mom and i dont want to think of one day of my mom being that sick. good that apparently he got over it.

[PageofLegend]

Oh man, that "don't be a wussy!" stuff on the Titus show was awesome!

[Drakkmar13]

Quit being a WUSSSSYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

[JonathansGurl91]

"come one you and me old muwaaghh!!" lolz that part made me laugh so hard haha =P

[ramires23]

Arms down - face Presented :):)

Funnyyyyyyyyyyy

[ArodWingfoot]

Thats how guys work. You may have a fist fight, but you'll be drinking with the same guy next night.

[TheChapelx]

emergency center,it was like an emergency shed.there was a doctor,a weed whacker and a fucking rake.

[americanempress1]

falling is one step program

[randomguy1052]

"yea I know some moves now

Im not 7 any more am I

come on

you and me old maghaggh"

[m2frogger]

"We didn't win the blue ribbon but....we have it in our possession."

[cmatrix4761]

Christopher Titus is one of the finest stand up comics there are.

[Dawnwalker19]

come on. me and you old muwahhh

[abayoff321]

the sarcastic laugh is hilarious

[andrewrckt]

@TheNickyO There is a difference between blackout drunk and just drunk. You can remember events while intoxicated...fyi.  Maybe the situations explained are exaggerated a bit for comical purposes, but the are probably real events.

[TheSilentScar]

its not rlly an emergency center, more like a emergency shed...there was a doctor, a weed wacker n a f****** rake!!!...i couldnt breathe for a minute i was laughing so hard....titus is genuis!!! soooo damn funny.

[HaibaraAi91169]

never more a wussy shall i be!!

[cqwbqy69]

We didn't win the blue ribbon - but we have it in our possession. Funny stuff.

[americanempress1]

my dad is like that, him and my brother have mugged the blue ribbon winner 5 years running.

[mommyandkaylee]

this is an amazing stand up. but its terrible to try and smoke a ciggerette before while listening to it. laughing and smoking is bad....lol!

[SmokingRudeboy]

Only until you get used it, which is a very painful experience.