The world's most generic news report - Charlie Brooker's Newswipe

[MagnaCartaTwo]

Occam's razor.

[EzbeeOfSnR]

is there a midget in amongst that family?

[theawecabinet]

Shit TV news reporters say

[RETARDEDoooREDNECK]

YESSSSSS, CHARLIE RULES

[melat0n1n]

"...pacing steadily towards the lens, punctuating every other sentence with a hand gesture, and ignoring all the pricks milling around him, like he's gliding through the fucking Matrix."

Absolutely fantastic!

[hoffness]

I used to make generic comments on news stories. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

[Mayna00]

I honestly don't think Charlie kows how brilliant he is.

[Mayna00]

@Mayna00 knows*

I'm an idiot.

[bazkie]

i feel strongly ambivalent about this utterly generic report.

[nuttynataliaa]

34 people are news anchors.

[the81kid]

Oh god, that's just why I dislike most of the news. Booooring.

[jagexfailshard]

sounds just like hln news with those dumb bimbos

[HakuGotStoned]

X people do/don't something

thank you for your thumbs!

[shneehaj]

Another pretty funny video like this is called "Some bullshit happening somewhere" by the Onion. I like both of these though.

[iamTehBagels]

LEGEND

[martinwilliamrandall]

Im boycotting Flash&Tesco's!

[iGotSpaceLikeNASA]

I'm sick of these subtitles on videos..

[ImperiousViking]

@iGotSpaceLikeNASA

then turn them off, lol

[Kadda67]

...like he's guiding through the fucking matrix.

I lost it there.

[WeAreLaFamilia]

I watched this high and didn't notice until halfway through that this wasn't actually a newscast

[cmskid20]

That song in the begining "Holy Thursday" By David Axelrod

[unlessitsafarm]

I never watch news now. I can only think of this if I find myself doing so.

[LoginAlreadyTaken]

I've seen this before. Was called 'literal tv spot' or something. Guess, BBC makers are just pirates, too.

[Synthematix]

Plese stfu about justin beiber its getting boring

[thembrown]

'and a pipe at a window'

[b3nb0rg]

FINALLY, someone with the stones to call out TV news for constantly using the beheading of lighthouse keepers by laser beams in their reports.

[Faroskalin]

Best use of punter, ever.

[RobertPageFilm]

It's a parody but not of lazily edited news reports (they are very rarely edited lazily, it takes a lot of work to get these things out on time and finished) but of clichéd news reports, which do the exact same thing. He's making a point about the cyclical nature of TV news, not about poor editing.

[enunna]

how could ANYONE dislike this??? I'm confused. Perhaps it's the actual news show staff...

[blackbelt352]

this is the exact formula for any news story.

[thenfm]

help cure emo faggotry: MANHOOD101. COM

[GREYZ1EDADDY]

Reddit didn't send me here

[storminmorman50]

reddit sent me here

[MrTrinz]

@storminmorman50 you new or something?

[lmvideo93]

fucking cheers reddit you bloody good bloke

[mahasma]

RIP lighthouse keeper :'(

[jaymyacee]

Bed Intruder Song!!!

[itsmistersmoke]

This guy will tell my future.

[BigBagsForRent]

The ol' pipe at the window caper, eh?

[egraciano121191]

Spot fucking on.

[TheXeeman]

Overweight people with their faces cut out HAHAHHAHHA

[thalPants]

A regent's treat.....

[PianoMastah]

1:10 is that in oxford?

[iriejoe]

29 people disliked this video for their own personal reasons.

[MagsTheJedi]

a "wry" sign off, not a "rise" sign off.

[wtfbollos]

excellent.

[websdaleandrew]

Absolutely fucking excellent

[HellsLeeWay]

I think I am actually in love with Charlie Brooker... <3

[Veyron435]

this is 100% accurate, every news report i ever see now goes by this format. hilarious :D

[pughdafis]

thumbs up if you breathe.

[groovynut222]

Charlie Brooker For Prime Minister!

[Zero7evenX]

@groovynut222 No thanks.

[SaitanMar]

I don't personally care what people think so the fact that the news is so desperate to give peoples opinion of it drives me mad.

[JPearson1987]

A 30s advert? GOD DAM IT.

[boosomentity]

i wonder if the News forecasts will change now that their format has been so plainly projected.

[erock195]

CBC is like this too.

[NinoScript]

I love the way that I'm posting a comment about this.

[marlboroman1985]

Charlie forgot the "newsman's voice."

[britishfetishman101]

british news summed up in two minutes?

[loszhor]

Brilliant!

[Insubordinate90]

FUCKING HILARIOUS! 

[frankystein12]

Lampshade hanging anyone?

[Blomsternisse]

brilliant!

[zamamo10]

This should be required viewing in every journalism course across the globe.

[ra83clement]

Charlie Brooker is my inner monologue

[TheKirb90]

This is literally the news from every channel I have ever watched. 

[hameed]

@TheKirb90 I don't think you know the meaning of the word literally

[trollamos]

@hameed I'm pretty sure he's accurate.

[the81kid]

@TheKirb90

True dat!

[BritishBlue1]

Good one, Charlie.

[JesusGirlz09]

You forgot the "Back to you Katy" or "Now back to Bob at the studio"

[BlueVane]

@JesusGirlz09 No, that's more of an American thing, this is literally just like BBC News.

[poltergiest11]

i was busy watching a orabrush commerical.

[BeginANewGovernment]

Did anyone else notice that at 1:41 the lighthouse keeper is holding a condom?

[beatlesmusikerin]

@BeginANewGovernment I'm pretty sure that's a pipe, not a condom.

[Leicestercityrules24]

like most people my age im 23

[mert1875]

Was that Barry Shitpeas opening his post?

[kooora18]

It made me split my sides when I realised when he was walking towards the camera that he was actually explaining exactly what he was doing LMAO XD

[TheMonahassan]

Looool so true

[xx1994xxversion2]

and then someone tries to over exaggerate the greatness of the video by saying some thing such as "I reached an epiphany! Holy shit, that's so true!". And acting like it was his/her fucking philosophy now. Then, they explain about how high they are in case everyone thinks it's a weird comment.

[smokeandtag]

@xx1994xxversion2

and then someone like you gets trolled and gives a fuck

[RobertNicholls]

@xx1994xxversion2 you're so deep

[wisteela]

Brilliant

[josephmarshall]

BROOKER! BROOKER! BROOKER!

[AsgraDragon]

And now let me present you the world's most generic YouTube comment:

"27 people are members of the Justin Bieber fanclub".

[tomelliott9]

@AsgraDragon your just making it worse

[MISTERWONKA7]

@AsgraDragon No, it's "Like this if you're watching this in 2011"

[beanniectw]

Never has there been a more accurate representation of the news.

[thriller38]

stupid flower ad!!

[kiatasbihgou]

and the inevitable comment from a user hoping that no one else watching the video would look at the highest rated comments, thus copying them shamelessly.

[tellyisrubbish]

...and the inevitable comment about how some videos are posted so that people submit their favourite quote - all of whom looking for thumbs up approbation.

[mcgigglish]

I love Charlie Brooker even if he does work for the Guardian

[franconbean]

@mcgigglish he did work for the recently deceased PCZone too

[Actionguy1]

Working in the news field, I can really appreciate this.

The young lady at 1:01 is extemely lovely, btw!

[SpraxIAKS]

Damn. Looks like it's true world wide then.

[Andsormida01]

lllllllllllllloooooooooooooooo­ooolllllllllllllllllllllll

[DBKarel]

Charlie Brooker is the best ... I miss his articles from PC Zone

[NeptuneMS385]

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S TRUE.

[seethroughskin]

so true :)

[sami2503]

Who knew that Chris Morris' shows would actually predict the future.

[smurfieboo]

@sami2503 chris morris is god, obviously

[sami2503]

@smurfieboo agreed.

[websdaleandrew]

@sami2503 I took too much Cake and my arms felt like a couple of weeks in a bad balloon. I found out later that I had damaged my Shatner's Bassoon

[neviatha]

Brilliant!!!

27 people are obviously too thick to understand the world around them let alone able to understand what's obviously a well crafted piss-take.... or maybe they got the joke, but these same 27 people were too thick too understand that the like button is the one to click when you are happy..... too busy trying to chew their own ear off!

obviously they read the sun..... :)

[PsychotronicWar]

This is the true face of Global Mass Media. They don't even have to push subliminal messages; THEY SUCK BY THEMSELVES...

[Squirrelfish]

Love the fact that that old man has himself become the boring man on the street no one cares to hear from.

[rudegalsw2]

SO TRUE.

[memoryhero]

spot on, dude

[DrDeBass]

What the hell did he say?!? 1:06-1:14

[zoso7889]

@DrDeBass" I hate these soundbites, I dont want some punters opinion...no!"

[StretchWorld]

Worryingly accurate and containing about as much genuine news as a "real" broadcast, hard to watch genuine news programs now! But I think the transcript is a little out... shouldn't it be "wry comment" at 1:48?

[MOULAYUCEF]

fake production, well staged and polished, more subliminal that getting the truth to the public!!! hang on a minute, isn't that what they're supposed to do???

[davisotj1]

so true

[razor6776]

HAHAHA this was hilarious

[Uktrayf]

"Now to finish a bit of word play fit for a king or in other words, a regent's treat"

[pokerfacex101]

Doudy kitchen man was so funny!

[jord123451]

lmao, he got this spot on.

[EmperorKabir]

genius.

[KiddInAChair]

Trevor McDonald created 27 accounts!

[SpecialTreatment08]

0:33 its Aidan from xfactor! :L

[89cheapmonday]

Oh Charlie Brooker, yet again you hit the nail on the head with this absolute nugget of golden TV. Thank you.

[RuneWalsh]

lmao

[abbaroc]

Ha spot on

[midierror]

excellent stuff

[12345678904872]

can't stop laughing ;-)

[william199712]

@12345678904872 niether could i. :)

[Xplayer007]

Another great find from tvTropes. :D

[andrewdlowery]

@Xplayer007 What did they have to do with the writing, editing and broadcast? Oh, none.

[chanceie12]

Charlie got it spot on.

[Hy3RiDrENegADE]

haha!

[canturgan]

On the money.

[mcgeady]

I love the irony during those vox pops.

"I hate these soundbites."

[blackphoenixXIII]

OMG you're right... I never realized it before; all news reports are the same damn thing!

[BucketTribute]

This reminds me of the Monty Python sketch "Whicker Island" which, of course is a parody of Alan Whicker.

[TheMarceleitor]

if u think every news reporter sounds the same, watch this!

[Clunko]

A ' Regents Treat!' Ya beauty!

[joshualukecarroll]

a rise smile? you cunt

[90fitzgerald09]

why dont the BBC news watch this?

[PeeJayZephyr]

...and it's inevitable posting up on YouTube for people to lazily regurgitate their favourite quotes for people to thumbs up.

[whowantsabighug]

@PeeJayZephyr The counter to which is somebody saying what we're all thinking of the disgust we all harbour for the unimaginative people who post those comments.

[heyguy1231]

@PeeJayZephyr Quite an astute observation you made there. You really hit the nail on the head. Must be from watching videos like Tig 'Ol Bitties.

[PeeJayZephyr]

@heyguy1231 Yes, I watched Tig 'Ol Bitties when it was posted a few weeks ago, then travelled back in time to 10 MONTHS AGO to post this.

[heyguy1231]

@PeeJayZephyr How the fuck did you do that???

[37201xoim]

@PeeJayZephyr

... and an equally inevitable mis-spelling of "its"...

[PeeJayZephyr]

@37201xoim ...and the jaw-dropping stupidity of misspelling "misspelling."

[TerraZet]

@PeeJayZephyr oh look, you're part of the problem.

[SkyblueX10]

This is so damn true it's brilliant

[trigga1uk]

Genius, and so true. 

[John27346]

The world has become smaller because of information flow but is the same size.

There might be less shit happening now than 100 years ago.

The problem is, we're constantly reminded of it in the news and media.

I don't think it's right that we should made to feel guilty about something happening on the other side of the globe.

[Otterley07]

0:53 - 1:14 haha, so clever

[fbsthreads]

You are now a fully qualified broadcast journalist.

[drumagon]

Love the graph: "integers"

[InternalStandard]

SUBLIME

[JCthrowdownhour]

SOOOOOOOOO TRUE

[Maryangel24]

ahahahaha frkn hilarious xD

[dsSLAY3R]

I love this, reminds me of "Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere" from The Onion

[superflyfranzo]

SO TRUE

[LoonyLooners]

The Regent Street bit was actually ingenious.

[mariotaz]

Oh god I laughed so much it's true.

[Isaacariah]

Great 100% british comedy

[BVargas78]

Charlie, when you establish your reich i will fight for you!

[ihopeyouredone]

The first time i saw this, i'd almost suffocated by the end! Charlie Brooker is a fucking GOD!!!!

[Thrillseeker8922]

There's only one word to describe this: EPIC!!!

[nigel0001]

This is genius, pure genius..

[1019drummer]

epic,lol...........

[matta173]

Hilarious

[XxG62xX]

"going through the matrix" :]

[stupidintellect90]

he's hilariuos...can anyone tell me when and where this plays

[Tome4kkkk]

Brilliant!

[effeffeff]

"Me, has this report".

[TheWonderfulEgg]

Brilliant!

[peakhour]

the subtitles are all wrong :(