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From: totallyautomatic0
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  • The comments are even funnier than the vid - IT'S A JOKE, GENIUSES.

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  • I guess they need an excuse for calling out volunteers , for what is called citizen police, which are not real police, they just watch the public, and make reports on some little paper for some administration that is the reason for NORMAL PEOPLE, NOT WITH ILLNESS to be paranoid about, I see it a sick waste of time, and shows there scared of someone finding out there real conspiracy, Most of those leaders will end up with a foot in there ass, in the long run anyway. lol

  • They need more help, than skitzo's, I've been skitzo for years, many like me can live normal healthy lives, the people that they should worry about are socio-paths, who are powerful men and women like themselves, who think about suicide and never get the guts, and progress into being homicidal, and they need the time wasted with paying someone to watch over what they do, this video is a joke and if they want to waste time watching everything I do everyday, there more psycho than me.

  • They aren't really talking about Schizophrenics here. They're talking about the the Government's plan for us. A lot of these things they mentioned are being used as I type. This is what is happening to America, and if you say otherwise and speak the truth then people accuse you of being Schizophrenic and no one will believe you. Subliminal messaging, 24/7 surveillance, implanted microchips, its all real.

  • this is a comedy skit, Just not funny

  • lmao wtfidk why im laughing because im pissed off

  • what a wonderful way to introduce the New World Order. "Every one around you wants you want to get you in reference to help" lol I can see that we are not the only ones drinking the poisen koolaid.

  • "Onion News" is fake, people. But ironically realistic as far as what's coming in the Elitist's true agenda.

  • I called the cops but I was captured in an ambulance and putted in a psiquiatric hospital by an order of the health ministery of my country(chile), a decree by thinking of blue and green eyes as dead people(ridicoulous!), that was never real. They inyected me a neuro-quimic that burned me in hell(for a year) and after that, a doctor saw me..

    They can do it with anyone, the psyquiatrie(whatever) is a german instrument to persecute and silence oponents but that's a long story

    I'm 25 not mental ill

  • You think this is funny, but it is already happening to all of us. We are losing our inalienable rights to a gov't that has raped the Constitution. Research the New World Order/ UN...we are all schizophrenics in their eyes...

  • this maybe a joke but it is what is coming..

    they always go for the weakest first.. elderly, military, young and sick..

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  • Ghosts don't exist. These ghost stories were created by the government to scare everybody. To all who believe in "ghosts", Jesus is the one who resurrects people, not us to ourselves. Jesus is going to send an army of angels to KICK YOUR ASSES!

  • @WakeUpInDaMorning ZOMBIE JESUS FTW!!!

  • @WakeUpInDaMorning no ghosts just demons masquerading as dead people

    stay in the word and be saved

  • @WakeUpInDaMorning

    WHAT? ghost stories were made by the government to completely destroy the reality of the situation. What these ghosts really are, are spirits - angels, demons etc... Our body's are just vehicles. What the government really wants if for people to not be spiritually aware.

    Spirit moves through all living things. And if your religious you should believe this. when our body dies the soul lives on.

  • @WakeUpInDaMorning lets hope if not jesus a friendly extraterrestrial race

  • This is sick shit. Shame on everyone involved in making this video.

  • wtf this is sick ohh yh just take there rights away maybe we should deal with the social system that creates this behavior...seriously we are retarded

  • I've been diagnosed schizo-affective since 1978. It's NOT just voices. It's ALL 7 senses including mediumistc adherence to the dead and also the sense of humor. When I talk about the phenomena to anyone except the psychiatric community, no one even flinches and seem to be in complete agreement with my so called delusions. I believe that psychiatrists and the like are so lacking in right brain function that they get stuck in left brain phenomena to right brain exclusion. And NO sense of humor!!!

  • Was this for real? Or was it a spoof from SNL or something? This clip started making me think I was getting this disease... JK; this is sick and the sad part is, that it could very well be a conversation that would take place in Jekyl Island and they would be taking themselves seriously.

  • 35 people are Schizophrenics

  • @E3pOPWNER yup including me =(

  • Wow n these are suppose to be somewhat professional pple. These schizo sufferers are paranoid!  If they find cameras n start hearing more voices it will only induce more psychotic episodes. WTF try living with one. This panel is full of clowns

  • @arklene lol

  • I don't think they are really talking just about the mentally ill, but the frightening trend in our society to deal with its problems by putting such individuals in a box and stereotyping, surveying, and demonizing the hell out of them. This is a simplistic fear reaction that accomplishes nothing besides making everyone more and more paranoid. Maybe that's why they chose that illness, because that is what we become when we treat people this way instead of trying to understand and treat illnesses

  • lol put voices in their ears, rofl.

  • Im not Anti-American but i thought this was real because American's are probably the stupidest people on the planet.It's not very funny, no irony watch Brass Eye on DVD instead.

  • What a way to make these people feel some relief from all their paranoia.....watch them where ever they go...listen to everything they say, monitor what they read and listen to. Make them feel watched and listened to. Some idiots think they are god. Some people just need a damn break once in awhile. Granted this is funny but what do you want to bet some idiot government agency will start trying some of this crap out. Like microchips for instance.

  • What a way to make these people feel some relief from all their paranoia.....watch them where ever they go...listen to everything they say, monitor what they read and listen to. Make them feel watched and listened to. Some idiots think they are god. Some people just need a damn break once in awhile.

  • Cameras. Voices. Feelings that u r being followed. People whispering behind ur back. Talking about u. That's not funny. Have u ever woke up with a jolt that somebody is standing above u, watching u as u sleep? I used to get that. I still hear voices, they whisper like the wind in treetops. Sometimes I hear radio when it's not on, or the voices from the fridge, or the helicopters... usually after few sleepless nights. Meds do help if needed. I can handle it better now

  • this is dumb. i wanted REAL info.

  • I was utterly furious and was about to punch my computer screen before realizing it was the Onion.

    What is really unfunny though is that it wouldn't put it past America at the moment.

  • The whole concept of psychiatry was developed well before 1900 in Germany to get rid of people complaining. The first use of directed energy weapons can be recognized in psychiatric literature from 1908. You find it in chapter Psychiatrie-->Klinik der Narkolepsie on my homepage. During the NAZI time this concept was given up as Germany just murdered oponents. It was relaunched directly after the war to persecute and silence concentration camp survivors.

  • I hate being overly PC here, but making fun of a such devastating disease is not cool. Why not make fun of lung cancer?

  • @ProfessorZaroff Well having a father with this horrible illness is far from funny. I totally agree with you on this one.

  • hahaha! genious

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  • reconstruct there workers face to make them lok like there dead relativies they are out there mind

  • not funny

  • In the realm of mainstream US news, the onion is as real as it gets.

  • lol this is funny as fuck

  • @MyDadWorksAtMarcs yeah but that isn't for me 

  • Satire aside, most of our politicians seem to show signs of a mental illness.

  • the government wants to turn everyone into schizophrenics!

  • @sh4p3shifter It wouldn't be hard. Sssshhh, don't tell any body.

  • In a socialist dictatorship they actually do this. Anyone that comes out and exposes them is made fun of and then as it gains more control they are locked in a mental instution and labled schizopherinia and paranoid and given either a chemical lobotomy or they just vanish all togheher.

  • i have to leave this country quick!

  • Yea sen them to prison and each corner place camera to make them scared! FUCKER!!! just change society to normal! and give them love! no fucking cameras and tracking devices! i know it from my life, my uncle is shizophremic and only love and pils make him "normal" in this fucked up society.....

  • Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

  • YOU ARE SCHIIZOPHRENENIC REAL SYUPID THAT SOUNDS LIKE MIND CONTROL REAL CUTE YOU WOULD HAVE TO KILL ME FIRST IM SURE THAT IS WHAT YOU ALL HAVE IN MIND ANY WAY LISTEN TO THESE JERKS DONT GO ALONG WITH EVERY THING YOUR TOLD NO MEANS NO.

  • im not from usa but how cant u get crazy in usa

  • @ind33 I'm trying to figure that one out myself...

  • YOU KNOW ANY ONE COULD BE LABLED SCHIPHRENIC ANY ONE WE ALL GO A LITTLE NUTS WHEN PEOPLE HIT THE RIGHT LIKE IM MAD AND SO ON

  • And they all work for the government, demand to be called sir, and hate EVERYBODY !

  • this is actually not that far from the truth...just replace when they say 'schizophenics' to 'Goyim'.... good fun though.

  • These people are real schizophrenics

  • oh crap...they got to me....i hear their helping voices.....the messages in tattoos....but i don't remember having the procedure done......get this chip out of me......where is it...oh shut up...no u shut up....hey.... can i help...no....

  • Is this shit a joke, no way this is real hahahaha oh my god i gotta stop watching youtube this shit is stupid

  • WE MUST STAND UP AGAINST THEM THERE GONNA TAKE AWAY ALL OUR RIGHTS CONTROL EVERYTHING WE DO. US AMERICANS ARE GOING TO BECOME SLAVES TO THE GOVERNMENT WE THINK IS TRYING TO PROTECT

    US BUT THEY DON'T GIVE A DAMM!!!! ABOUT US IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP AMERICA!

  • Just great, it really outlines the dictatorship nicely.

  • Wow!! That was awesome dialogue. Whoever wrote that script has a brilliant mind. the video had me going until almost half-way thru. I believed the camera talk because england has done it already. Again, very well done on the production of this video.

  • ANOTHER WAY TO HAVE MORE CONTROL OVER YOU THIS IS VERY STUPID THEY COULD PEG EVERY ONE A SKIZOPHRENIC REAL STUPID. THEY SAY WHAT EVERY THEY WANT TO AND CALL IT LAW.

  • This video is like a honeypot for paranoid schizophrenics! :-D

  • haha :D

  • Fail

    Absolute

    Kayfabe

    Entertainment

  • The industry exposed site/forums. become a member, help spread awareness.

  • lmao...stfu your making me skitzo. lol

  • Is this a fucking joke? This is a dig at Alex Jones and people that are becoming aware of what is really going on. Don't they usually fight this problem with chemical restraints to a profit? Paranoia is healthy in small dozes. Remember people, ignorance is bliss and familiarity breeds contempt. Youtube needs to remove this insulting video.

  • @djgodz79 Before anything else is said I am aware of the progression toward a big brother state, Bilderberg etc. It's more of a dig at schizophrenics because of how extreme it is, one of the things was cameras in everything the colour red... You should be mad that paranoia and delusions about the government are symptoms of schizophrenia, not at theonion. Really you just asked youtube to take away the right to free speech!? I really hope you understand how that is shooting yourself in the foot.

  • illuminati puppets promoting RFID chips!

  • Don't even listen to this bullshit people, it is just a big advertising campaign for the tracking devices that your government wants to put in every people: schizos first and then everyone(no matter what you are: liberal, straight, gay, lesbian, junkie, punk, wage slave, whatever you are). Puppies first, then food, now people will be controlled with these tools. They got you by the balls! Fuck'em! Where is your freedom when you need it the most?If they put this stuff into you, freedom is FUCKED

  • Heaven (help us) Then read its Satire. However "many a true word is said in jest". Its not satire without truth. This satire- that every case senario is compounded into one. Satire is scathing of Truth. ?'n "Mentally ill" (I don't believe it-its one EFFECT of CAUSE -'society' manipulation & fraudulant corrupted money system. When insufficient no's cannot cope with struggle/misery, the "health" CORPORATION (doctoring & pharma), does the finale with untried/untested/poisonous chemical drugs

  • i find it sad that many of the commenters cannot immediately understand that this is a joke.

  • hahahahhahahhahhhahahahahahaha­h!

  • yeah like this isnt going to feed peoples paranoia.... morons

  • lmao! very funny.....and the schizos need implants that whisher we're going to get you.....lol lol ah hah hah hah

    Is that to keep them coming back for more meds?

    lol

  • SEE ONION NEWS is right on the screen at the bottom.

  • The "dead" relative bit was funny, just with the way he said it, but the rest was fucking ignorant, and only adds to the already MASSIVE level of ignorance among people who don't suffer from Schizophrenia and have next to no clue what it causes and entails.

  • This is a sick joke and it's fucking disgusting. My Mum suffers from schizophrenia and can't help the fact she has it, it's caused by a chemical unbalance in the brain and she has to deal with one of the most horrible mental illnesses imaginable with despicable levels of prejudice and ignorance around it. You wouldn't make jokes about people with cancer would you? I feel sick.

  • @Jeffrey8391 a sense of humor helps with self pity i hear. the joke isnt about people with schizophrenia, its about the method they are proposing to keep tabs on these people... but their lack of understanding turns the whole thing around? anyways thats whats called a joke, get over wourself... and hell ya id make cancer jokes. its funny cause ive lost 3 family members to it, but i dont use it as a crutch.

  • @MrWarProfiteer as an example id laugh at a joke about areodynamics and lance armstrong only having one ball. thats a comedy goldmine! :P

  • thank god this was a joke!

  • This is great!, Couldn't stop laughing

  • omg....this video is meant to be a joke....you people are not getting it

  • This is just wrong but funny.

  • WASTE OF TIME

  • seriously who thinks this is real!

  • @soulfunkcity - The disproportionately large number of paranoid schizophrenics on Youtube don't seem to have much of a sense of humour.

  • @frostek it just surprises me that so many people don't see this as satire. You have to be brain dead to think this is a serious piece of news. Althought if I am honest, watching american news channels such as Fox. it really wouldn't surprise me if they start running pieces like this. It's scary. Fortunately I am from the UK and although the channels here can also be biased i don't think it is as bad. People here tend to also have a better standard of education, ability to use critical thought

  • hahaha!

  • ROFLMFAO ! ! ! ! ! that was funny ! !

  • sad..

  • this is onion news, its fake lol durr

  • research it before your actions

  • thats fucked up but i am not surprised

  • This isnt what there planning for schizophrenics its the plan for a completly monitored society and it is evolving around us every day that passes !

  • is this for real?

  • @joseftkok no its the onion

  • haha ok man i almost fell for it LOL

  • everybody calm down. its a joke. look up "the onion"

  • These people can go fuck themselves with my red whtie and blue bat.

  • These comments are even funnier than the video is. LMAO

  • this was all a setup. to make everyone go under the chip these ppl are working for the gov't. they arent doctors.

  • wouldnt that proper spin skitzo's out and make them more paranoid?

  • Guys, this is from the Onion. The Onion is satire news

  • @sarevor Thanks for clearing that up dude. I thought as I watched this that this could not possibly be for real. It is funny though when you look at it as a satire. LOL. An ear peice that says "Everyone wants to get you." LOL. Telling them which sewer wholes are gov hideouts. Fing LMAO.

  • @anphelps27 lol :D

  • @sarevor I knew it was satire but i have to admit. Up untill they talked about plastic surgery on peoples faces to make them look like dead relatives i actually thought this was fox news hahahaha

    Im not American and i dont watch fox so i should be forgiven.

  • This is a joke, right? WTF! Instead of the government paying heaps of money on bullshit like this, they are the ones who are messed up in the head.....Stupid Conspiracies/ proganda. FUCK YOU!

  • that bitch said cameras are not enough. they said that we should be using our stealth tech. to keep track of these crazy people. What is this a war? This is just another way to introduce control tactics. Don't think the gov. will stop there. Why do you think we went to digital instead of analog? Because the gov. needs a way to keep track of all of the tracking devises that will be used in keeping track of ALL American Citizens not just crazies but EVERYONE will be watched by our captors.

  • Have you ever considered that the elite society can (Target) make people sick with mind control technology and hide the symptoms of the technology within the D.S.M manual? (psychiatric diagnostic manual) Believe it!! It's true. Watch CIA mind control experiments) on youtube. These so called Doctors are heartless!!! and will sell you out in a heartbeat!!

  • Sheep will follow anyone able to flap their lips.

    Bahhh!

  • getting*

  • oh fuck off!!!!!!!!, you're not fetting a computer chip under MY skin.

  • This is a joke right?

  • yes brother but the real enemy is the enemy they do not want you to overcome first. And that is ourselves, for when we do that, we will see ourselves in everyone else therefore for be untied (not in union but in unity) and that is a very dangerous threat to the Elites.

  • Just face it, these are discusting domesticated pigs, that fear people. There own fear of us, threatens our own well being. Because they are caught in a deep phobia overlooked. Yet they see problems in everyone else. Are they not the danger to our lives?? I am not schitzophrenic, but it makes alot more sense than these troubled fools... Cameras on a paranoid?? because your scared of schitzos?? tracking systems?? They arent talking about just schitzo's by the way. Your next.

  • They are blatantly pointing out the fact that schitzophrenics have a keen ability to observe things... So this would include people with ESP... Or anyone with a free thinking mind at that. You dont see whats going on here?? You think this onion bullshit isnt a forwarning?? The psychology field has done nothing, but oppress issues for decades & have come up with no solutions, yet all of a sudden the subconscious mind is accepted as a theory for brainwashing people?? Its all just control.

  • OMG this is funny. That news show is fake. Our real news broadcasters do feed us shit everyday but they are not that blunt yet.

  • How stupid you really think this is real? dumbasses !

  • Hide cameras make them more paranoid you guys are fuckin the dumbest fools ive ever heard of.You want to reconstuct their faces of the care givers yes we are the crazy one.Whicsper kind words omg .Every one around you wants to get you WOW! You guys are fuckin winners .Which bus drivers hate them OMG this is so fuckin annoying

  • Desensitization through humor

  • @dinotheorist - Well, at least you're safe. You clearly lack a sense of humour. :p

  • why don't you use them for medical experiments while you're at it?

  • These people are all ignorant elitist fools.

    I am proud to be schizophrenic.

  • lol

  • All tho this is satire and supposed to be a joke its used as a weapon in psychological warfare to downplay the sinister facts about what they are saying.They do this with everything, Colbert Report is just one example, in the hopes they can discredit and ridicule something that is a very dangerous idea. Some people would agree with what they are saying and the whole Tv hypnosis thing leaves you open to suggestion. So who's fooling who here?

  • @bigvvvvvvv You couldn't be more right.

  • @bigvvvvvvv You have this right. I see it all the time too. Making fun like this to critize anyone that exposed their NWO adgenda

  • Schizophrenia is a spiritual disease along with a lot of other mental illnesses. It can be cured by alchemy and prayer. But shhhhh! don't tell the medical industry that or 'experts' they won't make any money off your ignorance. I took a shamanic journey in order to heal and sent those demons to the abyss through the power of Jesus Christ. I was not healed until i turned to Christ, my story is a powerful one and will be told. This is a joke, I laugh at it and the police just called my house lol

  • This is how 1984 starts. They start microchipping animals, then prisoners, children and the mentally ill. Everyone becomes an agent because they are so dumbed downed they don't realize they are prisoners too. They are both the guards and the inmates.Self built concentration camps. who needs Nazi guards anymore?Than slowly they all get picked off because of their lack of awareness and education in the Art of War.

  • no wonder they are paranoid in the first place. And further more everything they are talking about, they already do in the first place and have been doing to curious minds who ask questions. H.A.R.R.P. (skynet?)is just one example of how far this has gone.LOL IMagine i trusted anyone authority figure like these goof balls.And there is a cure, I'm living proof. You cannot solve a 3D problem with a 3D solution.Iwent to the spiritual realm for healing. I hope this tape is dubbed. God Bless.

  • hiarious!!!

  • THIS IS A JOKE!!! i cant take this serious. its bullshit for sure.

  • you people on the panel are the real schizoprenics to be thinking up such whack job material !

  • Must see!!! To funny...

  • @1951sk yeah, me to - just like Lazy Otaku - skitzo part about it is I sat on front row of tx senate hearings on exactly what is parodied here and heard General Morales report that school districts were the biggest fraud problem, requiring busloads of trainees from UT to be shipped all over the state every week. As you see, they took down Gen. Morales - don look like no fuckin scam to me, looks like the future is here. Given Zombie Nation all seem to want, these will be Board of Directors!

  • Oh god, I got suckered.

    Just now noticed the Onion.

    But be warned, just because its not apparent. Doesn't mean this shit won't happen!

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  • Funny funny

  • Too funny... great satire!!!

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  • This is a joke...relax.

  • Gotcha a joke. But can ya blame my believing this shit was real. I guess I have been desensitized to insanity in D.C. and the Health Industry in general. But Relax?...I will relax when White house Czars aren't writing about population control via putting substances in the water.

  • I think you need to quit watching Alex Jones for a while and take a deep breath. You'll drive yourself crazy thinking like that all the time, I promise. Yes, society is crazy, but realize that you'll probably go insane thinking that "they're out to get you" all the time. I know things are terrible in this world, but there is something you can do about it...something very important. You may not realize what it is, but it's extremely important that you find out on your own.

  • You can keep your Alex Jones to yourself. but am I paranoid, or merely human for having a reaction to insanity and utter disregard. Obama's "science czar," John Holdren, suggested the idea of forced abortions, "compulsory sterilization," through the food and water supplies, and the creation of a "Planetary Regime" in his book he co-authored called "Ecoscience". Or when News talks bout warm and fuzzy global government to save us all,... I say hmmm maybe we shouldn't not talk about it. Rational?

  • I agree with you 100%. But instead of fearing all of these things, you should either DO something about it, or just realize that there isn't much to do except love others unconditionally and treat them with kindness.  Love conquers all...fear is useless. If our government has succeeded in making you so fearful, then they have won your soul.

  • Communicating with others, spreading the word is doing something. But wise words about the love. Very true.

  • its the mark

  • this is the onion

  • and I thought the Bootsy Collins clownstep video was creepy, lol.

    Someone please tell me that this is theatre sports...

    "which statues don't _love_ them anymore?!?"

    These can only be beta minus Americans, lol

  • The Onion Network has been bought up by the corporations and is now part of the mainstream media disguised as an alternative new network...Sell outs...

  • This is some fucked up shit. The so-called "Paranoid Schizophrenics" is a more deceving and covert term for "Informed Individuals". Now I'm not saying Paranoid Schizophrenics are actually informed individuals, but that's what this news story REALLY means. Fuck...the federal government and the military are going to start chipping the public by force whether you like it or not after they've forced their experimental and dangerous vaccines on the public. Fucking Nazis...

  • WTF is this shit. If its good for the goose it is good for the gander. These fucks are the Schizophrenics!

  • that was cool, just like 'brass eye'.

  • what the fuck is wrong with these people!?

    they are the paranoid ones!

    you might as well shove a camera up their ass!

  • This isnt funny this is an actual reality for some schizos it may seem obviosly fake to us but their brains are telling them that it is true just like some of your brains tell you that god is watching over you and if you are bad you will go to hell. Now that i think of it it seems think religious people are schizofrenics?

  • It's Government Mind Control. RF Technology.

  • Oh man! It's such a relief to see this for myself. Now I realize I'm not really crazy after all, it just good people helping me. Now, when I hear those voices and have those itchy feelings, I say to myself, "Thanks guys." And when they tell me things like who to kill, I know now that I'm doing my civic duty for the government. What a relief!

  • i cant believe i believed this shit....most conspiricy theories are false....its the trueth.

  • this is a movie

  • This is hideous but funny

  • lol wtf @ first i thought this was real rofl

  • Its not funny though. They're making light of conspiracy and trying to suppress us back into a lulled, comatose state of mind.

  • lol advice to tell them which bus drivers and statues hate them. so funny, great acting too.

  • lol these guys make fun of a soon to be trueth

  • some of it is already truth. power lines are not just for phones.  they intentionally modulate you're brain waves. they already have little bugs (like actual bugs like ants and roaches) that are nano - engineered to be a little surveillance machine.

    there is an ant hanging on a vine that is right next to my front door and a window and it has not left that spot for over a year and its obviously either freakishly not dead or not really an ant.. its bigger than normal ants.

  • show me where u found this info. or who told u?

  • i want a team help effort in my ear

  • this is from the satire publication THE ONION guys look closer