Added: 2 years ago
From: raistlin072
Views: 7,814
Sort by time | Sort by thread (beta)

Link to this comment:

Share to:

All Comments (193)

Sign In or Sign Up now to post a comment!
  • Jimmy Swaggart denounced Evolutionary Biology... then celebrated by having dirty monkey sex with a prostitute on Airline Highway.

  • Comment removed

  • Mankind suffers the consequences of sin which is rebellion and disobedience to God’s rules which are for the salvation of our souls. Sadly many will not be saved because of rebellion and disobedience, but it is God’s will for all to be saved. ‘Therefore tell the people: This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'Return to me,' declares the LORD Almighty, 'and I will return to you,' says the LORD Almighty.’ Zech. 1:3

  • WTF was that song

  • The Christians myth is exceptionally fragile as apposed to their heads which are exceptionally hard.

  • @scotttebben Did you make that up??? It's wonderful!

  • Very funny, and kinda scary too. Has anyone seen a good Christian teenager yell, "Stop" and then start quoting the Bible or singing hymns? Me neither.

    Twisted fact: the US states with the highest per capita online porn site subscriptions are the most overtly Christian ones.

  • @ChipArgyle Not suprising at all.

  • Re: Joseph Smith . . . Do you really want people thinking about raping and incest when they are on the verge of masturbation?

  • Religion is bad for you.

  • I have a stupid xian quote. "There weren't any real armies until christianity came!" Yeah those pussys the Romans didn't do much, oh yeah accept kill your jesus. LOL friggen idiots!

  • @bushiyo2 Stfu i posted that one month ago foo im already over it retard ;D

  • @bushiyo2 Stfu

  • Recite a portion of the bible to prevent masturbation? How about the Song of Solomon? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! ROFLMFAO!!!

  • well hunger in a way can be a good motivator. Tho it is not a good thing.

  • @khakisandatee

    Oh I see. I though he was asking what the notion of planned parenthood was.

  • 'Hunger can be a positive motivator' said by a bitch with a fat face.

  • wow whoever did this videois retarded fer sure lolol!

    PATHETIC! -____-' ...was this supposed to be funny? well its not

  • wow whoever did this videois retarded fer sure lolol!

    PATHETIC! -____-' NOT all the cristians are like this aand why the hell pick on christians?!

    everybody have there own beliefs dumbass.

    -__-"

  • @Totallyepicdood That's correct, everyone has their own beliefs.

    It's just that yours are completely stupid. And you make yourself look stupid when you buy into this obvious bullshit.

    Your god isn't real. When will you just get the fuck over it?

  • wow whoever did this videois retarded fer sure lolol!

    PATHETIC! -____-'

  • NO 1 KNOWS FOR SURE UR ALL WRONG AND SO AM I!!!

  • I cannot judge on 1:22

    I have no idea what's planned parenthood....

  • @Jewl122

    Planned parenthood is when a couple get married and actually plan on conceiving a child instead of two kids banging one out on accident. Hence the pastor's ignorance.

  • You people need to realize that all Christians are not like this. Are you all this ignorant that you'd completey base all christians on a few morons..? They are just hyprocotic idiots.

  • @classicdisneyluver1 But the hypocritic morons that run the country...

  • hahahaha, thank you for that video!

  • Once again, this goes to show the ignorance of atheists. I'm going to pray for God to convert you guys!

  • @MichaelJackson4eva9 Silly troll

  • @MichaelJackson4eva9 haha! you should be quoted in this video also! lmfao!

  • @MichaelJackson4eva9 well you're definitely christian since your name shows your support for pedophiles.

  • @BigMidget06 Michael Jackson wasn't a pedophile. Therefore, I support him. He was a wonderful example of a real man. And fyi, I'm a Christian and damn proud of it too.

  • @MichaelJackson4eva9 michael jackson wasnt a pedophile? now thats a good joke. hes only been caught having children over to his house without their parents knowledge and not to mention his baby dangling. michael jackson was a nut along with being a pedophile.

  • Wow IQ <60 much?

  • It never stops. Funny scary shit. The sickness of ignorance, forced ignorance and child abuse

  • Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and Kent didn't like this video

  • Stupid people are to be found in every imagininable category of human being, including some people that despite their best efforts, were not able to cure their stupidity by getting any number of degrees. Sad to say, in all my browsings of YouTube posts, I have never encountered a group of postings and comments whose lack of true intellect and wisdom exceeded the ones associated with this video.

  • I always thought Christianity took you away from your "human instincts". Masturbation and homosexuality are prohibited by the bible. But the actual harmful things such as pedophilia, incest, and inbreeding, are promoted.

  • @MrChris7586

    It would be easily argued that pedophilia is just as much human nature as homo/hetero sexuality. It's an extreme fetish, much like BDSM, that is ingrained in the mind just as surely as ones sexuality.

  • @MrChris7586  Great point!

  • @MrChris7586 Actually, the Bible doesn't say anything specifically negative about masturbation.  The story of Onan is often misinterpreted as an anti-masturbation parable. Onan's sin was disobeying God by failing to impregnate someone, not masturbation.

  • hey, hey Christians.... DARE TO BE STUPID?

  • 1:03 Fuck that shit, I'd rather masturbate

  • Wow, that was just a little scary ... o_0

  • Christians are a sad excuse fir human life

  • WoW

  • read it live it lol. has all the questionnaires there too. Some people think god is a women majority think she is a man and a good 11 think it has no gender. For me if their was such a being it would be you and I. Imagine all the possibilities of yourself that are beyond thought. People barely use 10% of their brains! Infinite power of human being or the energy or entity for me if there is a god being I am it

  • Most of the world is atheist in America its a whopping 12% :( damn fuckheads

  • @Jukoe08 Most of this world is not atheist, nor is 12% of America atheistic.

  • @BleakandDead

    --atheism.about.com/b/2004/12/­02/how-many-atheists-in-americ­a.htm --

  • @Jukoe08 92% of all statistics are made up. And, are you insane? I already know that mankind is it's own god, figuritively and literally.

  • @BleakandDead actually its probably more than 12%. thousands of people are atheistic, but wont admit it. its a sad denial.

  • @Telacore Haha, I don't admit it around some people. Like hardcore christians that think athiests are out to kill them. Lot of those in South Carolina.

  • @BleakandDead Oh, don't get me started :P

    Southern Tennessee, born and raised. I am an intellectual among redneck idiots. It's constant idiocy everywhere I go! And all the religious crap...well, lets just say I feel your pain :)

  • @BleakandDead

    They think atheists are trying to kill them? Really? They think that? ha ha ha

  • @Jukoe08 No sir, YOU are the ignorant fuckhead :)

  • where did you get this info from?

  • This is hella funny!! I never knew that they let so many of these guys out in society at the same time. The standards of those special homes are declining drastically.

  • Kent Hovind is my favourite creationist. He's so funny to listen to...

  • *face palm*

  • And whenever you get the urge to masturbate you can just yell "WOMEN" and have a wife-orgy instead. Then you can quote scripture and sing "Bow Chika Bow Wow"

  • @tikifreakazoid How 'bout this? When you have the urge to masturbate, think about Sarah Palin. You won't touch your genitals for a week.

  • Left the best for last. I like it.

  • Not only are these quotes stupid, they are also hateful. The good christians always let their leader get away with it. Denounce them accept that you are really preaching intolerance disuise tolerance.

  • I have Faith in LORD God and I enjoy encouraging people no matter what they believe, I did enjoy your videos. I tell you the turth the comments that you shown do NOT speak for me I speak for myself and i will say if you enjoy making these videos then who am I to judge, I do not enjoy putting people down so I will say do not be concern about my comments or any other that puts you down only be concern about the comments that give you encouragment...PEACE

  • christians are a silly breed lol

  • a dog from a rock? no you can't. but, you can get a dog from a watch. a "watch dog." or a sheep, or a bull, etc.....hehehe.

    peace, lardo.

  • People like this turn what should have been the most liberal and free-loving belief into a crazy parody of everything it really is.

  • I remember that when I was a kid and went to Catholic Mass on Sundays they frequently ended the service with a song called "They Will Know We are Christians by Our Love." BWA-HAHAHAHAH! Are they KIDDING? The prejudice, hatred and bigotry of so many "loving Christians" should be reason alone to abandon Christianity and its stunning hypocrisy. The fact that its theology and dogma is insane and impossible is just icing on the cake.

  • @beerbrain420 Verily sir, thou hast hit the nail upon the head.

  • @TheAtomicist42 What also cracked me up at church was that only minutes after we would all give each other "the sign of peace" the service would end and all the parishoners would madly jump in their cars to get out through a narrow exit lane. There would always invariably be people honking and making gestures at each other. The "Christian peace" never lasted very long LOL.

  • @beerbrain420 I left my first christain (not a spelling error! XD) church after its 'loving' members turned on the pastor for being, well, not batshit enough. It was one of those slain-in-the-spirit, jump up and down till you puke for jebus churches- and they wanted him to be more, and I quote, "militiant." I should also point out that they did try to raise someone from the dead. Guess how that turned out? Also pretty sure someone actually literally put LSD in the communion "wine" (juice) once.

  • @TheAtomicist42 LSD in the communion wine? Holy crap. But then again, who knows? Maybe a little acid would have opened their minds a bit, LOL. Your congregation to me sounds suspiciously like it might have been Pentecostal. Was anyone there into "speaking in tongues" by any chance?

  • @beerbrain420 Ohhhh yes. They called themselves "non denominational." I just wanna point out that I was NOT the one who put the acid there (I was friggin 13)and it's only in recent years I even thought about what happened. One lady caught the wave first and soon everyone was laughing their asses off! It all makes sense now though.

  • @TheAtomicist42  I guess that experience took the term "Hosanna in the Highest" to a new level!!

  • @beerbrain420 *strokes beard reflectively* yeah... yeah. I'm not really at liberty to discuss how I know what LSD is like though... ;) Should be pointed out that this was definitely the most fun I ever had in church!

  • @TheAtomicist42 Geez I wish I could have had that kind of fun in church. Nah, my experience was just boring old garden-variety Catholicism. There was one time though that the celebrating priest appeared to be somewhat inebriated, and when he meant to say "sinless Jesus" he loudly proclaimed, "SINFUL Jesus!!!" It took almost a minute before he caught himself in embarrassment.

  • when all is said and done ..christianity will be remembered in history as a tool used by authority on innocent people to abuse them ,ostracize them , and bring them into utter disillusionment

  • "You can't get a dog from a rock. you, moron" - Kent Hovind.

    ... are you kidding me... like...really... he said that and thought it was "Right, Intelligent, Scientifically (not sure if thats a word, i can tell a rock apart from a dog tho...) Accurate?!" some one give me a gun so i can shoot this stupid mother fucker and end his embarrassment...

  • bush sr is stupid just like the rest of his family. its sad how stupid ppl really r

  • It really pisses me off how Christians automaticaly think Atheists are in cahoots with Satan. We don't believe in him either since God and the Devil come in a 2-for-1 package deal. So how about you Christians take your heads out your asses and listen (comprehend) to what we are actualy saying, as opposed to picking and choosing certin statements to fit your fancy.

  • I know this is supposed to be funny, and it certainly is, and yet...at the same time I feel the most powerful urge to be sick...

    These people run the country that I live in and love, and that is indeed a sickening thought.

  • watch Religulous, best documentary i ever seen. Bill Maher is a true hero

  • hahah, the last one was the best! :D at least there Was a moron in the conversation....

  • "hunger can be a positive motivator" ? yikes.

  • "you cant get a dog from a rock" The funniest thing about this quote is how he probably walked away proud of himself. Well, he should be proud for giving us such a good laugh.

  • @ShiningAquila tell him u cant get a human from dust or a rib, either.

  • Everybody should start the day defecating on the christian god.

  • christians use the term ''theory'' loosly more as an idea or a guess scientists use it as something that has been proven

  • I can groove on the Jesus idea, but there are too many Christians out there destroying Christianity with their close-minded bull****... That's why I left the church and became PAGAN! It's the thinking person's spirituality! X-D

    )O( Blessed Be )O(

  • the most truthful thing i have ever heard from a christian "you cant get a dog from a rock" lol

  • i hope jerry falwell gets aids and dies a horribly painful death!

  • Too late. He already dropped dead from being massively obese months ago.

  • LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL 1:35-1:45

  • Hooooly fuck! Christians need to really look in the mirror and realize who the real morons are.

  • @clipsryan so apparently im a moron for what some paster i never heard of said... thanks..

  • @lgreenl You're a moron for following what this moron follows. You're welcome.

  • How the Hell does Planned parenthood, teach people to be gay?

    Lol "You can't get a dog from a rock, you moron"

    But you can get man from dirt?

  • @GinnyStoleMyMan yea, no kidding. i say its gods fault that some people want to fuck the same gender, or a sheep, or a grapefruit. after all, god created them and he is all knowing and controlling. and yea, adam was made from dirt, why not a dog from a rock. the part of christianity i hate the most is the no planned parenthood and no contraception (catholic). thats why the world is overpopulated. they are either too poor to buy condoms or they are brainwashed to think they are a sin.

  • The guy below me is funny

  • Why does it always seem like the weak-minded, ugly, never-got-laid losers are the ones who tend to be the most religious. "God loves me." Yeah. Right. Save your offering plate money and buy a blow-up doll. Probably much more therapeutic. Hey, at least it's real, if not alive.

  • Just yell "STOP!" and sing a hymn.

  • I guess she never seen or heard anone1use the term B.C.

  • funny, i liked the masterbation quote, but the music was distractingly awesome! I love weird al!

  • Kent Hovind's quote cracks me up. Oh, the irony! He's calling US morons, meanwhile he thinks that evolution is about rocks turning into animals. Bahaha! How do these people not realize how stupid they sound??

  • That has a simple answer. They all think that there is an all-powerful being who told them to say these things, so they think that it can't possibly sound stupid.

  • 1:18 the origin of HIV/AIDS in unknown...dumbass jerry falwell, whoever the hell you are...

  • @commerceskate

    He founded a gigantic church in virginia and was a televangelist.

  • LMFAO omfg what a bunch of dumbasses I beg you people please don't breed for the good of mankind! :)

  • @losartandeterment806 ha its like the mormon duty to have lots of children. if you do you get to live on the sun or something. hahaha

  • 1:00 That ought to cure the desire to masturbate, The bible is generally not very exciting, and about as sexually arousing as Roseanne Barr in a string bikini.

  • @AGrandt

    LOL

    I also find it ironically amusing that a man with 33 wives is dispensing advice on how to avoid the temptation and urge to masturbate.

  • Yeah, Easy for you not to when you have 33 wives!!! Kind of like a drill instructor riding in a car along side runners and saying "Come on guys, if I can keep up this pace so can you."

  • some peopel think the idea of Roseannes Bar In that is very sexy most likely the same people who think the bible is fetish people creep some are

  • @AGrandt I dunno. Song of Solomon was pretty raunchy for the times. It's pretty much bronze age erotica.

  • This really cheered me up.5 stars

  • I liked the first one better because they were comical. Most of these are evil. Thanks for the vids.

  • oh well us athiest are pretty safe anyway we will go to heaven(lol) remember its apart of gods plan as is aids homosexuals abortions people dying . id like to visit the states 1 day but not live there as far as i know there are alot of religious nutters there

  • Someone needs to sodomize Jerry Falwell and give him AIDS.

  • You know hes dead right?

  • Falwell is already dead. we can no longer give him aids. pat robertson is still around though.

  • I'll do it. I'll fuck that rotting corpse right up his fat ass.

  • Can these people really be that stupid? Or do they think we are that stupid and will believe what they say just because they feel they are "important" people?

  • LOL wow these people are so dumb, it's shocking. Religion is for the simple minded.

  • Hey...God loves you =)

  • I'm glad your made-up friend loves me!

  • @TreySouthern13

    If God is Love, does that mean God Gods me?

  • i watched it twice... i didn't catch any misspellings, although i haven't run it through a spell checker. almost all of the text was quoted directly. any grammar problems were the fault of the idiot being quoted. he actually did a good job following grammar and punctuation rules to accurately communicate the way those people said those things. "i would have probably attempt to check..." is the wrong conjugation... you meant "attempted."

  • There were a few spelling/grammatical errors. But even the dictionary will have a few mistakes.

  • thats funny as hell dude!! you should have been included in this video!!

  • and brainwashed.

  • some (not all) christians can be such dumb faggots.

  • well i will think for you

  • Yeah... thanks... because WE SOOO NEED IT BECAUSE A MONSTER WITH 7 HEADS IZ GUNA COME UP AND EATZ US OH NOES!!!! OMGWTFLOLCATS!!!1!!

  • LMFAO your god can rest his mouth on my big fat dick =] christians are the most retarded people in the world i mean look at you praying to something that u hav no proof of because a book told u so... i mean cmon there is no way any human being knows of nay religion, if jesus was even real he was insane. lets say i were to promote a new religion and say that i was the son of a god ude throw stones at me and call me crazy too wuldnt u? =]

  • Lol, is that the best you've got? Seriously.

  • yell stop if you want to wank the hammer! LOLZ

  • Flog the Dolphin, jerk the squirt, pound the poker, punch the clown, quack the duck, rub the magic wand, spank the monkey, feel the flop hose, tickle the midgit, mustard the frank, walk the dog, free the willie, slap the fish, crack the whip. Jack the one eyed jimmy, polish the wood, wack the mole, pull the pole, swab the deck, crown the king, wipe the pole, find Jimmy Hoffa, beat the meat, clean the pickle, surf the weiner, walk the puppy!

  • holy shit! Christians are nuts!!!

  • you are right. "Jesus still loves you so much. it is impossible to love as much as he does." you're gonna be in the next video :):)

  • jesus loves me? What a pedophile!

  • Lmao.

  • Yeah, on one account. All the different accounts recall him saying different things. "Oh father, why have YOU foresaken me?". "Forgive THEM father, for they know not what they do". So who is he saying killed/condemned him? God or the people? And yes, in one of them he says "your will be done" or whatever, which kinda sorta seems to DIRECTLY CONTRADICT his query of "oh god, why do I have to suffer this torment?". The bible is not a reliable source of information just because it calls itself true.

  • Jesus loves all of us? A dead guy loves us living people? Pedophile vampire zombie frankenstein...well, looks like we'll need to call Helsing...

  • Nah, he only loves those who kiss his ass. The rest are left for eternal torture in hell. Lovely.

  • OOGA-BOOGA!! BIG MAN IN SKY SMASH YOU WITH LIGHTNING!! Seriously. I hope I live to see the day when most people cast this superstitious crap aside and start thinking for themselves, instead of believing everything they're taught and told is true. Of course, "Faith," that precious little crutch, tells Theists to believe what they're told without question, and this keeps them from using their minds to make spiritual decisions for themselves.

  • Yes, soon {yawn} what was that? 2000 years ago? Yes. . . Soon!

  • I am prepared! I have a large wooden cross, shiney new nails and a special hammer just waiting on him to arrive so I can nail his ass back up!

  • fsm4us you made my day. :) im going to go use that to piss off some christains to see their true Un-christly side.

  • @fsm4us Leave it to Thor!

  • @fsm4us

    Nothing more modern? The electric chair, perhaps?

  • how soon?

  • I heard that Santa is coming back in a few months too.

  • nope, I shot his ass last year cuz I thought he was breaking in to gank my stereo.

  • @TheTupacolypse he is coming back..and you better be ready when he does..you no good sinner! lol...hes gonna smite your ass ..and you wont be allowed into the kingdom of eggnog and toys!! hahahah!!!

  • @arkee71 dude; ill be laghing whan you relize the truth the when you die your just dead.