Billy Connolly - Stonefish or Worst Pain Known to Man

[Macdude51]

fuck that bloody stonefish

[minnesotavikingsnfl]

I love when people with a scottish accent say "FOR FUCK SAKE"

[jinzo64]

stonefish i my fav word at the moment.

makes me smile like a mad man

[writer1294U2]

the tesing part is probably the best part in the entire clip, something you never get tired of.

[writer1294U2]

"i'm a particularly comfortable stone, have a stand" "AAAAAAAH!"

[BABAK06]

Got tickets for him live at newcastle in two weeks cant wait :-)

[writer1294U2]

the 28 people that disliked this were laughing so hard they missed the like button

[writer1294U2]

he's so funny he's making himself laugh

[writer1294U2]

i'm a stone... you can stand on me if you like.... AAAHHH!

classic. wish i could go see him live...

[DGGamingUK]

he is amazing

[skidderEz]

oh aye it would be german aye

[dmohr7]

worse pain known to man ?.........having a wife

[SirHawkeyeWho]

The people who disliked this are women in labour, people having a heart attack and alright I'll say it... men who've just been kicked in the balls... by someone with a spike on their shoe.

[YcGrAn]

One of the great things I love about him is how he laughs at himself when telling the story, He is really great!

[MrJFSheff]

Seeing him in January can't wait for it!

[DGGamingUK]

@MrJFSheff i am aswell :D

[MultiJackyll]

How can u dislike this guy...he is the personification of FUCKING AWESOME, then to FUCKING EPIC and then to BEST LAUGHING PAIN KNOWN TO MAN...THUMBS UP IF U AGREE AND PROVE THE BC HATERS WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[boppa1231]

Pain is measured in units of "Dols".The instrument used to measure pain is called the dolorimeter.It was invented in New york at new york hospital. No joke look it up on wikapedia.

[TheMeanEYE]

I hope he never dies. That would be a great loss for all of us. :) I watched everything at least a dozen times and still find them funny.

[ADEMruinedmylife909]

Imo, nothing beats having a lumbar puncture without any anaesthetic

[9ntropy]

@ADEMruinedmylife909 personal experiences with lumbar puncture without anaesthetic?

[ADEMruinedmylife909]

@9ntropy If you're interested, I have had 3 lumbar ounctures in my life, two of which have been conducted without any painkillers whatsoever.

[LRW96LIVE]

Billy Connolly is the only person in the world funny enough to make 4 mins of describing a stonefish entertaining.

[WilliamBrown93]

Funniest bastard this side of everything.

[EssexMetalHead]

The worst pain I've known is collapsing and smashing my head on a chair. That was only from watching this man and laughing so hard I literally could not breathe! I raise my glass to you Billy, easily the best comedian known to man =D

[katewilko88]

"I'm a particularly comfortable stone, have a stand"

This guy is BRILL!

[Dorenkamper]

I could not control myself, but to cry in laughter. This is hilarious

[Fulbor]

his impression of talking under water is so awesome!

[CharleyVCU1988]

27 people are simpletons from the village.

[IBekeI]

have a stand!

[paulinesmith44]

like how it's called the worst pain known to man...ask a woman about child birth and she'd certainly tell you there is no meter to gauge that ....makes a stone fish seem pretty weak lol .

[Bondidog]

@paulinesmith44 - he said the worst pain known to man - not woman :-))

[paulinesmith44]

@Bondidog thats why i said i like how its called the worst pain known to man :) :)

[Bondidog]

@paulinesmith44 - I'd be inerested to know how child birth compares to heart attack. Had one of them and I'd take a stone fish (had one of them too) twice any day!

[paulinesmith44]

@Bondidog oh now you're talking , fortunately not had one of those but probably couldn't even imagine that pain, hope you are well now :)

[Bondidog]

@paulinesmith44 - Oh yep, years ago.

[AgentGhost]

@paulinesmith44

lawl Sorry but this is ignorant. While I don't doubt that childbirth is painful, Stonefish do not hurt because they puncture your skin, it's the poison that is so painful and can potentially kill. Not all stonefish injuries are equal. It's possible to step on one without receiving any venom, or you could receive a lot. If you get a large enough dose and it goes untreated this poison turns your flesh into liquid shit, somehow I think this trumps childbirth.

[paulinesmith44]

@AgentGhost LOL thanks for that info ...i think i get the picture especially as just last week my dog had 6 pups and she punctured one in the stomach, vet told me to monitor for 24 hrs hours, poor wee soul died a slow , agonising death due to an infected wound. i think the whole wee things insides were poisoned , so yeah , child birth , may go to the ' Oh for F***k's sake part then ...:) and poisoning goes right off the dial ..:)

[lewars1912]

I always thought the worst pain known to man was getting stood up on a date.

[Viperstar131]

26 people felt the worst pain known to man.

[nath909]

if every fucker watched this...

[CaptainHollister]

My dad once trod on a Stone Fish when he was in the army, posted to Oman. He agrees - it IS the worst pain he has ever known.

[lentspark]

saw him last night in hollywood. he did this and it was sooo fucking funny..... he did the turning around while underwater on stage bloody halarious..

[DE5176]

hello im a stone you can stand on my if you like, ahhhhhhhhhhh

[ebiltommy]

this actually had me rolling around on the floor laughinf my arse off. god i love billy conolly!

[Dragon2802]

25 ppl dislike this

no im not going to make a comment on them

get the fuck over it

[MyBadGamertag]

@Dragon2802 You just did.

[InfinityDz]

This was the best part of the show I think

[Sunoco]

People talking about childbirth and kidney stones need to stop talking. Both are a drop in a lake compared to the pain a stonefish would cause. Same with a box jellyfish or any number of undersea buggers.

[Fab4Sunrises]

@Sunoco I'm not too sure. I think a Stonefish can barely measure up to having to pass an entire little newborn through a sensative hole the size of a silverdollar--when it's stretched!

[Sunoco]

@Fab4Sunrises The (female) human body is made to handle childbirth. It's insanely, ridiculously, painful, but NOTHING, NOTHING compared to the full extent of what pain can mean. Try having your arm, bones and delicate nerves pounded into a pulp with a sledge hammer. THAT'S A STONEFISH PAIN. There have been woman who've been stung by stonefish, and they make it clear that there's no comparison.

Besides the idea that pain a full half of the population goes through is the worst possible is silly.

[000000imcoming]

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu­uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

 haha

[Furiouswindbottom]

I had a testicular tortion when I was a tennager.

I'd like to know a worse pain than your nuts getting twisted.

Perhaps dousing them in petrol first and lighting a match could help?

[AngellusLovegood]

@Furiouswindbottom Try having a baby... That's pretty much the same but for ladies and dragged out for hours, as far as I understand. Anyway, women say that it's bad and I believe them. Or just read twilight, if you feel like pain...

[stargateeer]

22 fuckwits

[stargateeer]

22 fuckwits

[ShadowLancer128]

maah, mhhmmm,, yeah,.. it would be german, mhmm, yeah..

XD XD XD

[MackTheViking]

Iv stood on a stone fish on an ilsand called Lady Elliot Island in the Great Barrier Reef, Queensland, AUstralia. Its about double how Billy demonstrated :P

[CaptainHollister]

My dad stepped on a Stonefish during his Army tour in the Middle East (Oman).

[GreyLabyrinthine]

@CaptainHollister Now what we all want to know is: Is it the worst pehn nohn to man?

[CaptainHollister]

@GreyLabyrinthine For his army buddy who was with him, it was - if my dad had died (as he nearly did), his mate would have taken my dad's wristwatch. As it turns out, my dad survived and his mate did not get my dad's wristwatch lol

[mimoocho]

@CaptainHollister what happened to him?

[CaptainHollister]

@mimoocho He nearly died - obviously he didn't because he is still alive - but he was in a frikking hell of a lot of pain at the time, I remember him telling me about it.

[squippy117]

22 people are simpletons

[thomasl12345]

how do they know this?? i dont know ahhahahahahahhahaha

[MK21188]

can stone fish fuck you up through those wetsuit type reef shoes??

[wdmforrent1]

@MK21188 yep

[mrmojohasrisen]

20 people are stonefish

[XxXWAKEXxX]

His accent makes everything 100x funnier!!!

[EmperorElliott]

Ive read stories about the Stonefish. There were women who have experienced labour, men who have broken limbs and been hit by cars... they all say their previous pains came nowhere CLOSE to the stonefish. There was no question. Stonefish freak the shit outta me :O

[Zer0nite]

@EmperorElliott What about kidney stones, or the "loin to the groin" pain. I wanna know if it beats that o_o

[10pencils]

''well get a simpleton from the village''

[nitrotrigger]

I nearly died laughing. The worst pain known to man.

[crimsondagger1]

I want one of those meeters. I need twenty simpletons luckily we have twenty and they voted.

[Drogue222]

I'm a slut man

[bidefordrfc]

I'm pretty sure Billy Connolly said he hated this types of shows Scottie..... So that's an Awful idea.....

[bassespro04]

For all those 993 you rock.

[judith326]

underwater speech xD

[bigmanoooo1]

20 people stood on a stonefish

[DarkEarthDragon01]

@bigmanoooo1 and counting :P

[DeadLocked94]

@bigmanoooo1 25 people deserve to stand on a stonefish

[rexfactor69]

so weird to see him with short hair lol

[TheGzeus]

Poor Germany.

[InfantryFodder93]

Fucking hilarious xD

[anneloev]

Laughing my head off...Brilliant. And there´s moore...Woman on Bus...Hilarious!

[maidmoira]

excited,going to see him on the 16th november,woohoo, at burton cumming theatre,wpg,mb,

[maidmoira]

excited,going to see him on the 16th november,woohoo

[MySuperNan]

Billy Connolly is one of the very few comedians on this planet that can make me laugh so much the tears stream down my face, He is just BRILLIANT.

[themitch89]

"it was the fuckin sting meter is what its called" lmao best comedian ever!!!!

[robyncolley]

lol 

[squii28]

18 dislikes??? OMG r u people crazy this guys hilarious

[ShadowLancer128]

@squii28 18 mindwashed Catholics and Christians saw the video and couldn't take the humor from an open mind.

[squii28]

@ShadowLancer128 im a catholic and i find it funny but meh

[ShadowLancer128]

@squii28 well I bet you dont like his take on the catholic church.

No offense!

[Sprinkles1979]

I've never heard any one scream 'FUCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!' Better than Billy Connolly. And I'm pretty good and well established at fuck screaming. Top stuff.

[robbierules81]

fuck the oceon im not going anywhere near it

[ShadowLancer128]

@thornysubject And you're the F------ guy that actually cares!

hahahaahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!

[thornysubject]

@ShadowLancer128 why in the name of the BIG YIN, should you care that i care at all? NO OFFENSE !

[ShadowLancer128]

@thornysubject because it's funny.

[lE1337l]

3:44- end best evar!!!!!!

[CvijaFaQ]

Stonefish poison can easily kill a human.

[Oncologosocial]

have ye been into alot of pain? aye, fell of me bike twice hahahahahahahaha!

[Devilsnightforlife]

Im wondering.. Connolly says the stonefish causes the wost pain known to man. But irukandji definitely is up there as well. Maybe even above it.

Anyone knows?

[Jinda89]

@Devilsnightforlife i knew someone who stood on a stonefish, and i can tell you that he's right. They told me that they seriously begged to have their leg amputated just so they could feel some sort of relief.

[Devilsnightforlife]

@Jinda89 Some Irukandji victims, even on morphin, have been documented to plead their doctor to end their lifes because of the pain and some die because the body goes into a shock due to the pain.

I dont know.. Probably too difficult to say, both different pains.

[Jinda89]

@Devilsnightforlife either way, i think itd be wise to give both these creatures a wide berth

[georgeharrison22543]

(blows a raspberry) WHAT THE FFFUUUCCCKKK?!?!?!?!?!

I fell off my chair laughing. Funniest man in earth.

[bl8derbandit]

i actually have stepped on a stonefish....ridiculous pain.

[jess050191]

3.30 made me laugh so hard

[lionofct]

"It went past 'ouch', right to 'oh, for fuck's sake' there!"

Billy Connolly is the world's greatest comedian.

[davidogiscool123]

loooooooooool ahhhhhhh fucccccckkkk stonefish help me ouuuuuucccchhh stonfish fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu­uuuuuuuuccccccccccccccccccccck­kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk­kkkkkkkkk

[Dreamerx47]

George carlin

Richard Pryor

Bill Connoly

Bill Hicks

questions?

[GBXS]

@Dreamerx47 Sure, I've got a question: Anyone else you'd recommend?

[Dreamerx47]

dylan moran isnt the brightest candle on the table but then again he isnt trying to be

"I don't want to make any huge generalisations about women..... I'm not here to do that, it's....... it's vulgar.........But all I'll say is that they have no feelings"

[GBXS]

@Dreamerx47 I'll check it out, thanks mate!

[cumulo25]

it's the Fuckenstein meter!

[3pfog]

"Oh aye, it would be german, aye"

[ANDRESPABLO007]

This is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Billy Connolly=King of Comedy.

[grandmakansas]

Thank you for all the laughs. You and Robin Willams are the best ever

[RaunchyRocker]

Just Funny thats it the best !

[irishelk1]

What a hero!

[lizvandort666]

lol billy's so funny he cracks himself up!!!

[ShadowLancer128]

"Stoonneppbbiiisshhhh!!!! pppbbaaaayy! Sttppbbooonnepphhiish!!!"

[waydlemx]

possibly the funniest start to a video ive ever seen (hello im a stone)

[PartyGirlDNM]

im soooooooooo jealous of scottish people with their unreal accents!!!!!!!billy said the scottish are just an irish tribe...so why the FECK cant we have the same unbelievable accent?! :(:(:( amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing

[mentalasme]

Aye Oor Billy is the best ,but then we had Chic Murray and not forgettin Hector Nicol too...Brilliant!!!!

[devskix2]

epic :D

[ShadowMKII]

HAHAHAHA

"I think it's a German device"

[JasonB1969]

That is just a great clip that makes me laugh everytime I watch it on YouTube.

Billy Connolly is one of the best comedians around.

The meter going up to "worst pain known to man", lol. Probably German.

[Ultramarine998]

Who are the 16 fuck wits that disliked this?!

[CamBoyle1]

@Ultramarine998 Americans that assume all scottish people brush their teeth with butter. Billy Connolly is priceless.

[flamered24]

@Ultramarine998 In a cave. after meeting a stonefish

[Saltire35]

@Ultramarine998 Englishmen ;)

[cailleachthehag]

@Ultramarine998 ha ha I learned another curse 'fuckwit' good one.

[11DNA11]

@Ultramarine998 Germans, religious people or english people :)

[kepochi1]

@Ultramarine998

it's 20 know D:

(i liked it though)

[BeboAltizer]

@Ultramarine998 the germans who made the meter

[matty7112]

@Ultramarine998 probably the german people who watched this haha

[rehnai]

@Ultramarine998 They probably stood on a stonefish

[imagec0rrupt3d]

@Ultramarine998 women who have experienced child birth.

[Littleladyfirebird]

This clip is one of the best. The world is a funnier place with you in it Billy. Thanks for posting this.

[pixiehtr]

You should see my dad's face!! He cannot breathe he's laughing so hard!!

[destinyrider22]

god i about pissed myself at the end of that one

[GAMERxFREEKx23]

something like that I don't know

[kingfreedom1]

FFFUUCCKKK!!!!!!!!!!

[Uberaoshi]

OMG its John Cleese's long lost twin or a clone!

[montypython11111]

@Uberaoshi with a scottish accent =]

[Zugrim]

"It think it's a german device"

xD

[sharpy39]

@Zugrim ''Oh yeah, would be German.''

[dreadlegs]

Never done a Stonefish, but I once, on a hot summers day, after a long drive, I emptied the contents of my car radiator over my groin (by mistake). The warning sighn on the radiator cap isn't just for show. Can't really imagine a Stonefish being much worse, defo 10/10 on the Fuckenstein.

[Hellborndelux]

"....have a stand" :D

[TheGzeus]

I want a Fuckenstein Meter

[dinglenutzz]

@NS675........childbirth pain is localized to an area albeit a large area....the stonefish toxin fires up every single nerve receptor in your body...every single one flares up to maximum pain...my buddy stepped on one and she said her hair even hurt.

[Pakkedown]

must be made by germans...

[MickeyTheBags]

we get a SIMPLETON from the village ...haha!

come here, simpleton!

[NS675]

Worst pain known to man? Well I hope it matches child birth. Bastard men. Lol, only joking...

[1339LARS]

Have you ever got a good kick in the nuts!

Only joking...

[Ilikemustard]

Joke or not, it fucking pisses me off when women use the whole "we're going to experience more pain then you ever will in your whole life" bullshit.

Most often this comes from naive young women who are probably virgins.

[NS675]

@Ilikemustard I was joking you nutcase. Chill out.

[Ilikemustard]

Notice the "joke or not" at the start of my comment, you fucking idiot.

[NS675]

@Ilikemustard You're still a nutcase.

[Ilikemustard]

@NS675

Ok. This guy in the video is really unfunny.

[Zeanu]

@Ilikemustard

Man you're soulless.

[Ilikemustard]

:((

[vuilekletser]

This cracks me up every time I see it!!

Great comedian!

[Sargesgrl12]

3:40 - 4:00!!!! ROFL!!!

[mrsurferduuude]

Best ever billy connolly clip. Saw him at Hammersmith Apollo on Friday and he was IMMENSE!

"or something like that ... I dunno ...!"

[stona7732]

3:42 LMFAO!!!! (best from bout 3:40)

[kaydatzme21]

oh my god ! this is so hilarious hahhaha

its funny at the end when he says ''Something like that , i dont know, but ahh you know''.

funny stuff

[mattyrobert13]

I love the way he's on the verge of bursting into hysterics throughout the whole thing xD

[1q1q1q1qjigsaw]

i love his underwater voice hahaha cracks me up, even better because he is laughing too

[anakin87654]

i had 2 stop every 2 secs 2 make sure i don't die from laughter xD still laughing now xD

[irishchrisc]

He can sure tell em!

[Urzu6x]

LMAO!!!

[MsSerena1986]

lol where does he come up with this shit? hillarious!

[rockerstar101]

he makes stuff up on stage, he'll get an idea, then develop it and ideas grow then he'd remember something. it's excellent how he does it, and funnely enough, none of his material is written down. it's all in his head. he doesn't agree with writing it down because it looses hillarity.