O these are so great! This is using the principles of the bible! This is great! I am now going to use this the next minute in an email I am going to send. Thank you, because you have helped teach me how to temper it with love!
Hmm..a big problem with this is that 'I' statements only work assuming 'the other' cares about you. If they don't and are just trying to 'do you in', things will get worse. Such a person who wants to cause you stress will be gratified by hearing that 'I(you) feel upset', their behaviour will amplify. But its a top technique if 'the other' is someone who cares.
an absolutely superb point: an antagonist will now know that they can get you by doing the undesired thing, and then they will simply do it more frequenty or more effectively.
You are right, if they are feeling aggressive towards you. In that case, back off, in my opinion. But if they are simply doing something that is infringing on your boundaries, are that hurts you, then the only way to speak to them is from your own knowledge of what they need to do and what is right, and also, with love and gentleness and forgiveness. That is the only way that you have a flying *chance* of then hearing you, believe me.
As a psychology student, I really enjoyed watching this. Please post more! It is so great to see so much of the treatment we study being put into practice.
Thanks for your feedback. These are posted for my students at Nova Southeastern University in counseling. I am glad that they may also be viewed by students at other universities. Good luck in your studies and in all things.
I just wish the volunteer had a microphone....
looker768 2 years ago
O these are so great! This is using the principles of the bible! This is great! I am now going to use this the next minute in an email I am going to send. Thank you, because you have helped teach me how to temper it with love!
OwlJulie 2 years ago
What if they want to have sex with you? Women are always bothering to have sex with me, and it's driving me crazy. How do I stop 10,20 women a day?
evelsteev 3 years ago
Hmm..a big problem with this is that 'I' statements only work assuming 'the other' cares about you. If they don't and are just trying to 'do you in', things will get worse. Such a person who wants to cause you stress will be gratified by hearing that 'I(you) feel upset', their behaviour will amplify. But its a top technique if 'the other' is someone who cares.
JohnnyAlpha8 4 years ago 2
an absolutely superb point: an antagonist will now know that they can get you by doing the undesired thing, and then they will simply do it more frequenty or more effectively.
rmsolympic1 3 years ago 3
No, they already knew how to "get" you. Now you are bringing this fact to the table in the wide open and asking them to stop.
OwlJulie 2 years ago
You are right, if they are feeling aggressive towards you. In that case, back off, in my opinion. But if they are simply doing something that is infringing on your boundaries, are that hurts you, then the only way to speak to them is from your own knowledge of what they need to do and what is right, and also, with love and gentleness and forgiveness. That is the only way that you have a flying *chance* of then hearing you, believe me.
OwlJulie 2 years ago
If they don't, you can reframe it in terms of respect.
ariesvids 2 years ago
As a psychology student, I really enjoyed watching this. Please post more! It is so great to see so much of the treatment we study being put into practice.
Thank you.
lifeisabmovie 5 years ago
Thanks for your feedback. These are posted for my students at Nova Southeastern University in counseling. I am glad that they may also be viewed by students at other universities. Good luck in your studies and in all things.
DDM
dianndee 5 years ago