My Journey Through Depression, Suicide, and Self-Injury

[USmarines4life1]

i understand where ur coming from. i have been cutting for years. i have never attemped suicide but have thought of it many times. i go to therapy but it doesnt help, but im afraid to ask. what should i do?

[DoOdLeBaKa]

@RAIIRAIIJr If only people really knew the shit that teenagers go through right? It's like a whole different world for us. ;_;

[DoOdLeBaKa]

Dear Laura:

If I saw you in my life, I would've come up to you and been your friend. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'll be more than happy to email you. I've cut before but never attempted suicide, although my friend has tried before. I know what you mean by being an outcast in school and after a while, you really start to believe that something is wrong with you. Just try to find your way again, and everything will be fine. Good luck and please stay safe. Your friend, Emma.

[shawnmichalsfan11]

i can relate to this u over came it and im proud of u im starting to over come it

[Live4LyricsCM]

I used to be depressed and self-injure and think about suicide all the time. I overcame it by myself, and the healing process was later aided by My Chemical Romance. Noone really knows this about me though so everyone around me makes suicide/cutter jokes and i just feel like slapping them and saying "it's not a joke those are real problems and they are NOT your fault and they are HARD AS HELL to overcome so SHUT UP!" You all know what I'm talking about. I love you guys. Thanks for the support.

[Cheesehade]

Same for me! I hate epically bc 4th and 5th grade was and or 2 ago And I am in 6th so I know how it feels I know the feeling u r talking about I hate fucking being called Emo!

[pmgisdead]

Damnnn i totally feel everything u juss said here wit that emo bullshxt too people say oh u cutt so u must emo nd datz bullshxt iaint emo cuz ido dat for real...nd also im mad shy myself too ibarely hav any friends cuz its like im invisable cuz idont talk...nd dat thing u talked bout where u stop for a month den cutt again ive been thru dat so many times as well ijuss cutt again yesterdaii afta a couple months ijuss rlly understand wat u sayinn here

[ImperfectLaura]

@pmgisdead Thanks for the comment. It's nice to feel understood, and I hope my video made you feel the same way. Emo is just a silly stereotype that hits close to home for me. That's why I'm pretty animated about it.

Hope you're doing well. If you need anything, feel free to contact me.

[xXRioRockstarXx]

i know what you mean.. i feel the same way... my parents have seen my scars, they still make the jokes, they still think depression is stupid and something to overcome.. they think i'm a freak... they are embarrassed..

they think it's a stage or something, and I hope they're right... but I know they're wrong... anyways, good video.. its awesome you can share your story like that

[ImperfectLaura]

@xXRioRockstarXx That's part of the reason I share my story. Because I feel people have so many misconceptions about self injury. It's also part of the reason I'm such a blab on my blogs but can't talk to anyone very openly in real life. Because I constantly feel judged.

Thanks for listening, and I hope you feel that you're not alone in this. If doing this has taught me anything it's that I'm not the only person who's felt this way and you aren't either. Hang in there!

[artzySURFchick]

"that emo word bugs the fuck out of me" lmao that's funny, but great story. very deep and meaningful. thanks for sharing :)

[ImperfectLaura]

@artzySURFchick It's funny but very true. As you heard, don't get me started on emo. Thanks for listening and for your kind words!

[KeriiAnnH]

I'm going through a really tough time right now, i coped so well with alot of shit in my life last year and I'm only just 15 and all the bottled up stress and emotions i hid to look after my mother who was fighting cancer last year are all coming out now and affecting my whole life and just hearing you talking about exactly how I feel makes me feel better, I also have to say you're a really great speaker, hope you feel okay right now!

[ImperfectLaura]

@KeriiAnnH I hope you see that many people hide their emotions, and you are not alone in that. For me, I have breakdowns at least once a month because of all that I hold back. If you need to talk, you can find my contact info in my other videos.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mother. Thank you for the kind words. I've never thought of myself as a good speaker, and it's nice to hear people say I am.

[cfhmp455]

You know... I was kind of one of the ones not respecting people like... Well.... You I guess... But, now I... I almost feel like being like you. I'm not though because I wouldn't be able to survive... But..... One time I did cut myself just to try...... I felt that feeling. I did like it.... But..... I never did it again. Anyway... hold on. If you need to talk to someone, just email luv . cookiez @ yahoo . com I'd like to hear more :) No spaces in the email btw :P

[ImperfectLaura]

@cfhmp455 It's weird how alike most of us are at our core. Thanks so much for your comment, and I will contact you if I need to talk. :D

Thanks!

[Eternity29]

My depression started in about 5th grade, too. I can relate to a lot of what you said. Take care.

[ImperfectLaura]

@Eternity29 I'm glad you can relate and it's nice to know there are people out there going through the same thing. Thanks for the comment and you take care as well!

[rosalei123]

Wow. . . I'm going through a lot of that right now . . .

[fatherorpurity]

Dear Laura,

I've been through something almost the same as what you went through! You've found the solution! communication. I mean for me, i was really messed up and it wasn't until i finally spoke to people (i regret not doing it earlier). When i talk to people i feel like the weight has been lifted off my chest. I mean sure lifes really REALLY tough at times, but we gotta pull through. Its people like YOU AND I who can help people like us-we gotta tell them the power of talk.

Your true friend

[rosalei123]

I've talked to councelors, parents, friends, doctors, nothing has helped. . . sorry, but I really don't think that helps if you don't have many people who give a shit about you.

[ImperfectLaura]

I kind of agree with fatherofpurity that talking does help. Look at me, I'm talking to YouTube viewers, people I don't even know. And I feel a huge weight lifted off of me.

I don't have many people in my life I can talk openly about this, but finding away to express what I'm feeling has had an impact on me. I am way more self aware than when I started making these videos.

[Amanda965]

i'm PROUD of you, you've come a LONG way and ur completely not alone i hope the healthy part of the cycle lasts longer than the unhealthy part & i want you to know it takes a lot to open up especially on a social website where u run the risk of being bashed and harrasssed :/ i'm so happy you decided to tell your story<3 take it one day at a time and be safe Laura!!! *hugs*Amanda

[wwe41002]

I dont see whats wrong with being emo besides people making fun of it and the whole "Oh your not emo because you dont cut yourself" and vis versa

Emo needs to go back to its soul purpouse: MUSIC!!!

[ImperfectLaura]

I have no issue with old school emo music. My issue lies with the idea of emo being about wearing heavy eyeliner, skinny jeans, a funky haircut and now lacerations.

Emo music that lies at the root of emo is definitely okay. If emo went back to strictly the view of emo being music then I'd be fine. But most people stereotype emo by how you dress/look. That's my issue with emo.

[xemosweetheartx]

I'm from secret scars on LJ :) - shedsweetheart

i saw it there but thought i'd comment here...

excuse the bad name....i've come to feel the same way you do about emo :@

this is so weird, i had 2 suicide attemps the first at quite a young age too, i tried to hang myself in my uncles bathroom but the same thing happened to me - instinct. i dunno i found it really scary how alike our stories are :)

i hope your safe and still in that posetive mindset for the moment

ella x

[ImperfectLaura]

That is very weird. But I find it very comforting whenever I hear that I'm not the only one out there who' felt some of the things I can feel.

It really irks me to hear people say "I know how you feel" because I don't believe anyone knows how I'm feeling but me. But I find it comforting when people say "I understand where you're coming from" or "I've been in a similar circumstance."

Thanks so much and hope to see you around here and lj!

-Laura

[alexrodi15]

i think that u have been through hell and back. i cut and ive had 2 suicide attempts i have an enourmous amount of respect for you i know exactly what your saying. im fine now but i still think about it sometimes

[ImperfectLaura]

Thanks so much. I wish you luck, health, and happiness. :D

[alexrodi15]

thanks u dont know how much that means to me

[anishabakhda]

wow, ur very brave telling ur story.

i think ur story can help alot of people because u speak exactly what many people go through. it kinda shows people their not alone.

xxxx

:)

[ImperfectLaura]

Thanks a ton. :)

You're so nice.

[anishabakhda]

hey, no problem

im only telling the truth ;)

hope ur well

xxx

[ImperfectLaura]

I'm thinking of turning this into somewhat of my journal and my process. So, I'll keep you posted on how I'm doing.

[anishabakhda]

lol, that would be really good :)

cant wait

xxx