Master Onion

[stavrosbaggins1]

Surprisingly satisfying to masturbate to.



[Aff01000001]

I sincerely feel bad for Chris-Chan...

[gunstar913]

I wish he got the trip just so he would get a life

i hate this guy.

[IJustMovedHere]

The most exercise he's done in his life. Ever.

[MrIPspLock]

I find this difficult to Masturbate to.

[fluffoth]

1:46 THIS IS FOR CREATING ME YOU BASTARD >FACE PUNCH<

[obeydarklord]

@fluffoth i lawled

[WerewolfOfTheWater]

He's obviously reading the lyrics off-screen and he still can't get them right.

[kirstygoodliffe]

Rarely is there such a defining example of the arguments for Eugenics in glorious colour. Take a bow sir, this fail is epic.

[squizzo55]

I discovered this man 3 hours ago and they have been the best 3 hours of my life.

[MrRudy6437]

@squizzo55 i know what you mean

[mmmkkll]

@squizzo55 me too squizzo... me too :D

[hattonhaha]

it's grotesque, but I can't stop watching. Oh god. 

[TheDominionOfElites]

Lololololololololololololololo­lololololololololololololoolol­olololooo Chrischans such a dag

[AlexofSpades]

"Birthday Boy"

lmao

[jmerridew124]

AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

wut.

[444Tazer]

To think, he actually sent this to Sony. I lol'd when I read his reaction when he didn't win.

"I REALLY WANTED THAT TRIP SO I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO IMPRESS MY SWEETEST MEGAN AND POSSIBLY FULFILL MY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED AND SOON HAVE A DAUGHTER NAMED CRYSTAL. YET NOW I, A FRUSTRATED HIGH-FUNCTIONALLY AUTISTIC 25-YEAR OLD VIRGIN, HAVE BEEN BALLZ-BROKEN LIKE I HAVE THROUGH A BIG CHUNK OF MY LIFE IN AMERICA'S FAVORITE GAME, "KICK THE AUTISTIC!" *sigh*"

~The great Chris himself.

[KazmirRunik]

2:01 Who you callin' pinhead? |-(

[TheKingOfRuckus]

O_O

[ReggaeMetalFox]

I love how his falsetto goes higher the more excited he gets!

[Sweetsumthin27]

I have pretty much sat here for 5 minutes with absolutely nothing to say. * turns PC off *

[triplehydra]

I kept watching to see what fantastic and unpredictable video effect he would use next

[killallianceftw]

This is incredibly painful to watch.

[InfernalReaper25]

This is fucking disgusting, I couldn't even last 30 seconds.

[clawsthewolf]

WHAT ........ THE ...... FUCK OMG HE NEED TO STOP BEFORE KANYE WEST WANNA DO A REMIX

[sistercheeba]

This is so fucking embarrassing I think I just cringed myself inside out.

[Tonio31]

He's lives in Virginia? NOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Ditherliss]

BIRTHDAY BOY

[CaptainWow42]

Anybody else thinking about the episode of South Park where Cartman enters the "Sing the Cheesey Poof" contest?

[DragonReploidZero2]

he was totally reading a script. AND HE THOUGHT HE'D WIN WITH THIS SHIT.

[Remixdj3]

1:12 Someone put (Bros) in the middle of that and make a T-Shirt out of it..NOW!

[geckoblank]

How the fuck did this video get into the finals? Were the judge somehow on drugs at that time? Anyway, it's great that he didn't win. If he wins, then humanity as we know it is doomed.

[Bleed090]

@geckoblank He stuffed the ballots with over 9000 dummy and sock puppet emails to vote with.

[YouJustL0stTheGame]

I've seen train collisions involving school buses that turned out better than this.

[pararoids]

@YouJustL0stTheGame this is relevant to my interests, please show me trains colliding with school busses

[Fr0st1989]

@pararoids I too would like to witness such an occurrence good sir.

[TheCoan23]

@pararoids

that shit made my day lmao

[Hariuka]

@YouJustL0stTheGame hahahah pararoids just stated that....YOU LOST THE GAME!....now show the videos of buses being in train collisions

[k0vert]

@YouJustL0stTheGame moar dead childs pl0x

[DarkSonicProductions]

@YouJustL0stTheGame That's nothing...I've seen 4 jets carrying 100 passengers each crash into a school during bring your pet to show-and-tell day and end up better than this sad attempt at rapping.

[TriforcePlayer2]

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA­AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA­AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA­AAAAAAAAAAAA

[Luellan]

Gay, gay!

[cheesespuds]

0:45

:( My rhymes are cool, like doing cocaine.

My rhymes are hot, like a BURNING FLAME.

[Maglan1986]

i'm 12 and what is this

[dorminay]

LOL I USE EDITING SOFTWARE OLOLOLOLOLOLOLZ

But seriously, this video is literally worse than the holocaust.

[TehDauvs]

1:53 BIRTHDAY BOY HAHAHA

[TehDauvs]

KICK TO THE LIMIT IN ORDER TO GET TURN

Haha, he'd fail this stage so hard. BIRTHDAY BOY

[boogerman908]

i feel sad for him :(

[Bawn1990]

is he really leaning forward to read the words/script?

[killallianceftw]

I just lost a few IQ points watching this

[Simonboy5]

Truly, a martial arts master

[dexter111344]

Ya know, I kinda wanna have a prostitute sent to him, but I know he'd probably kill her the moment she tries to leave...

[rfrakctured]

@dexter111344 Or himself....

[sephiroth900000]

ladies and gentleman

The saddest person in the universe

[FangedDragon01]

CWC for Christmas #1!

[Mutough]

This man is a Chuck D level wordsmith.

[Dziuravy]

i got my bad trips, but jesus holy beloved christ........

[LuvBugLuvver]

Did he died?

[ridley1k]

this video gave me assburgers

[Zabasaz]

I have diabetes from watching this.

[im3milesdown]

BAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA.

Is it sad I remember the Mr. Onion rap from Parappa the Rappa, and realize how horribly he's butchering it?

[freaker1990]

I am now retarded. thank you, Mr. Sonichu.

[mscaseylenne]

AHAHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

[SkyNetGoneWild]

2:50 Thought bubble had perfect timing.

[vampirehunterme]

watch him get out of breath just by spinning and throwing fake punches and kicks

[lietz13]

I bet he won.

[retrogamer2007452]

This would be funny except for the fact all the judges probably shot themselves after watching it.

[CDClock]

jesus fucking christ i fucking hate aspergers

[Swimmingchao]

OH GOD, he lives in Virginia? Do not want.

[DevilWolfX]

Imagine the look on the judges faces.

O_O <OMG! My Eyes, The Glasses Do Nothing!)

[satoshimiwa]

I think this video made me autistic

[wootsh33p]

wow. what the fuck am i looking at sir?

[thebiggest1one]

I would say he looks like he's reading off of something, but then I remembered he CAN'T FUCKING READ.

[BOOTLEGPIRATEVIDEO]

hardcore otaku

[4weed2man0]

1:50-ish....if only he had died of a stroke during those totally-bitchen flame effects.

[Cdubzhappy]

this priceless

[makerguyofvideos]

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THOSE MOVES!

[theweakwillwalk]

someone should set this to an actual beat

[mtl667z]

i lost..

[majorrmarrek]

T'is is a sad day for the interwebs.

[TheScienceguy77]

Nothing quite says "I'm NEVER going to lose my virginity w/o raep" like a video made by the most pathetic loser ever queefed into existence doing a fucking PaRappa The Rappa Tribute contest video thing to win 2 PSPs and hopefully get the girl your stalking to like you. I seriously hope he's institutionalized by now.

[spartan11774]

Oh dear god. His room is like a pedophile trap.

[morais691alexandre]

Thsi video made me autisitc. <_<

[Typext]

I'm 12 years old and what is this?

[jacobislucas]

@Typext ........ you probly shouldet be mentioning your age or the guy in the video will raep you..... dont believe me? go to encyclopediadramatica and look up chris chan

[vtech13]

@jacobislucas

man i was just reading about him from that site. I kept telling myself that they must be lying but after seeing this video, words cannot express my over the top shocked expression.

[jacobislucas]

@vtech13 well if you whant to be more surpriesed there is a websight called the cwcki and it says EVERYTHING about him every little thing. but really its kind of sad that some people have that much time to rant about a guy who quit being socialy excepted years ago. if you have time to kill cheack the cwcki but really its not worth it.

[vtech13]

@jacobislucas

meh i doubt it, i kind of feel sorry for him and i dont really think everything from that site could be true.

[jacobislucas]

@vtech13 i kind of agree. he cannot be that terrable of a person. so yeah i wonder what is making theese people troll this person so badly

[Prasopchai]

lulz are abundant

[KingKizerKun]

AND TURN TUUUUURRRRN

[Wyndrax]

This is probably the most disturbing thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

[pikapi12]

Not until you see him singing Rick Astley.

[SuperMariotheKing100]

Sony must be like WTF?

[pyro80]

some pimp shit y´all

[cannonski]

Now I know why genetic screening is a good idea lol...

[sukingeggs1]

HIEEE-Yobasabaza- CHAAAA!

Kick, punch, chris chan in the stomach, then chop his head with an axe. he can't rap but neither can i, but i got a better camera and mic!

That's it for today!

[gronkierw]

oh lordy i got embarrassed just watching this

[WindTouzoku]

@gronkierw lmao me too

[P4INKiller]

The sad part about this is that he's really actually trying.

[yevonator88]

1:09 Chris turns into a "china"

[OscarMaris]

@yevonator88 what is that?

[yevonator88]

It's Chris' word for vagina.

[GameFreak982928]

This looks like something I would have come up with...

.... when I was 4.

[kramt203]

wow...

[mdk31]

This is... indescribably horrifying. I had to watch 15 seconds at a time and then take a break to recover from the massive damage to my mind before continuing.

[douboymk2]

@mdk31

wuss! i watched his uncensored flying elephants vid and only threw up twice, had 1 seizure and i only needed 2 weeks of treatment for ptsd afterwards

[AoBloodhound]

Ruined the greatest game ever. Sadfaces all around in my household.

[Bokii1331]

This may be the new evidence in the pro-ana retards' campaign. FAT!

[elvendragon]

......that is fucking scary. He is never going to reproduce. Not even if he were the last guy on earth - in which case all women would convert to lesbianism or die single.

[TheCryoScales]

@elvendragon I think the rest of humanity should be happy about that he wont contaminate the Gene Pool

[Doppinator]

@elvendragon even so a electrified cage hls filled with morphine and saltwater surrounded by a porous mesh and punctured concrete might prevent any sort of accident of his genes being passed on.

[Urielthemagicalcrab]

@elvendragon Just to be safe, I'd recomend both.

[xhisokax]

wut

[chairehead]

seeing as nintendo is shit i know nothing of this but.....

wow

[PrimusSheck]

@chairehead

Yeah, this isn't Nintendo you retard.

[chairehead]

i didnt say this was nintendo,

sounds like it should be

its faggoted like you

[P4INKiller]

Never have I seen someone devise a more cunning and brilliant argument than this.

Please, teach me your debating skills.

Where did you study literature?

[chairehead]

im sorry, did i offend you fanboys, if you want a real debate over a shitty rendition of a terrible blur of colours and a terrible genre of music i'd be happy to show you how retarded this whole thing is.

I will concede that i looked it up and it is alright but the poin still stands, it looks like something nintendo would do

[P4INKiller]

No, the issue here is not that anyone is offended, it's that you seem to have no point.

Nothing of what you wrote makes any sense, what exactly would Nintendo do?

Who are you referring to when you say Nintendo?

And no one mentioned any music or whatever the fuck you're referring to when you say "terrible blur of colours", and what did you look up?

These are things that need clarification when trying to communicate with other people who can't read your mind, much less have an argument going.

[chairehead]

first off, if i have no point what is your issue with my comment, it doesnt appear to have real implications to you seeing as it is a PERSONAL view on what i would expect nintendo to do, therefore it is my opinion and nothing more.

i am merely making an observation to the colour and age group i would have thought this game aimed at

I dont care if anyone mentioned that, because it was about the videos ive seen of this fucking game, i admit it was an exaggeration

i dont think you understand

[guitarheroblake]

Chop kick!

Chop Block.

Also, why the fuck dd "Birthday boy" come up in the middle? Silly downie.

[smmfailz]

wat

[Kyledrownstoday]

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL *pause for breath* LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOL­OLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOOLOLOLOLOLOL

[Gunriffun9mm]

God made this man for our entertainment. Thank God for autism and retards.

[Bleed090]

@Gunriffun9mm He is declared the mistake of God by ED

[Gecko954]

Ahahahaha.

I love how he squawks retardedly for about a minute, then simply narrates himself in a high-pitched voice half-arsedly doing karate moves until he gets out of breath.

[ZER0EATER]

......

Well, fuck.

[forsakenprogeny]

"Fucktard" doesn't even begin to describe...

[Macthecamp]

...Gentlemen.

What the hell am I watching?

[chickensesame]

I particularly enjoyed the interlude between the second and third acts.

[Podevarius]

eek

[LAVATORR]

The framing of this video makes it look like he's wearing his uncle Sam hat and that makes me smile.

[Stenimal]

kind of a goku-get-em attitude...

[MistressRebekah]

Hahaha. Nice.

And did he say,"I got a penis and she don't." ?

[Ryuuken117]

MOTHER OF GOD.

[DrunkenwhaleRe]

... ... ... ... Oh god...

If there ever was a candidate for "The one human who must never reproduce" this guy wins it in a landslide.

[BonerPirate]

Or should reproduce so future non-retarded generations can rip on a new fat smelly helpless naive cum-drinking idiot. As long as it turns out a retarded boy and his dream of having a non-retarded daughter named Krystal is never realized i'll be happy.

[pimba75]

FAPFAPFAPFAP

[Nijhia]

LmAo..

[BlackNoir]

The Ambassador of virginity.

[Poever]

boy ain't got no rhythm, as they say...

Professional rappers would diss him in a second

[Cunnysmythe]

This is painful to watch. Awkward as all hell. He is truly terrible. Listen to him panting and puffing. Thanks, ED!

[PraecoNoctis]

ED indeed, the article provided a good afternoon's WTFing.

[TheRichardLong]

I never thought 3 minutes and 17 seconds could be that LONGGGGGGGGG

[SEMIprofoundness]

it would suck to be autistic...

[AtomicDogStudios]

LOL his rapping skill is terrible. His rap doesn't even rhyme at all! XD

[BobChandIer]

IM GONNA KICK AND CHOP YOUR INTERNET

[DarthOnizuca]

For your veiwing pleasure : Autistic failcow on the internet

Seriously, his dad needs to get around to cutting that internet down

[liquidpyramid]

hey guys whats da update

[Mepsipax12]

Kind of a Goku-Get-'Em attitude. :)

[DUKENUKEM132]

I never understtod that phrase...

...but I'm scared to know,man :(

[Nightshield]

dude he looks so much older than i imagined...omfg i cant stop laughing...im obsessed with this dudes story

[tallyhero]

Lolwut???

[tallyhero]

Fail FAG IS Fail!!!!111one

[vanyliababy]

Im dating Megan at the moment. Im kissing her every day every hour and at night we make love under her Sailor Moon poster. RAAAAAGE

[Zatoru]

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

FAAAAAAAIIIIIIL. XD

God, he's so retarded. .___________.

Total lulz worthy, though. I did puke a little when I decided to be a dumbass and click his userpage on ED... it showed a naked picture of him on there. DX I died a little on the inside, and I seriously wanted to burn my eyes out.

[gnarkilleptic]

o...m...f...g...

biggest.....nerd.....EVAR!

[Mystgate]

If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathroom soaking my eyes

[Pirateparty]

kinda like a goku getem attitude

[Gamescook]

What a loser. He missed his chance to grow up.

[WolfGuy100]

Wow...he suck.

[princessiero2]

Looks like he is reading teh words off the screen 0_0

[custed]

what is this i don't even...

[coondini]

Um...

[samerhadionline]

VIDEO HITS??

[Superunknown190]

*face to palm* god i want to kill myself now