Prager University: The Case for Marriage

[Jblod240]

Just having marriage on the table is probably better. If you never plan on marriage are you more or less likely to seek out better partners? (or partner). If I have no intentions of ever getting married I wouldn't approach a potential relationship with such seriousness. What does it matter if we aren't likely to be a good fit? In all likelihood it won't last beyond a week anyway so why bother to discriminate in any fashion? A week with a new person is hardly time wasted. However, if you

[Jblod240]

...if you are intending to enter marriage at some point you're far more likely to concern yourself with the quality of potential relationships. Just the intention alone can have profound effects on your quality if life.

[QueenMollydala]

so societies which do not follow the typical American process of marriage are somehow inferior and less mature? less happy? the real question is if this man can ever question what he believes for 5 seconds.

[s00calally]

He has no data or statistics to back his statements up. He makes generic assumptions:"Everybody who has married, whether they are divorced or are still married, knows marriage makes you more mature." He goes on to say marriage is better for the world but neglects to state how. In addition he doesn't provide an argument against his counterarguments: "fear of commitment" for example, doesn't contain a counter. His counter against the claim of many divorces is weak. This is a very poor speaker.

[iConverseMyLife]

"If it's just a paper then why don't you sign it ?" Because it's just a paper and I don't need it to prove that I love somebody ..? Yes I'm a girl.

[NewThinkful]

"Marriage makes you more mature"? No, maturity is a prerequisite for a great marriage.

[Composer19691]

@NewThinkful Yes, I think both is true.

[177577]

to the pretson below if you fo have kids and are not maried the you leave the kids just dont vanish they have to go to sone one and to every one it is a sign of comitment and helps build trust

[EliasJordan3]

How is it not just a piece of paper? Cmon, it's not like you can't cheat on your wife and divorce and all that when you get married. It costs a lot of money and when you get divorced they take your kids from you and you have to pay a lot of money.

And if you just have a partner, and you get tired of each other, it's much easier to continue on with your life, marriage jst basically kills it.

[electonicsforless]

This guy is a complete idiot and has terrible logic.

[pilenrtst]

What an extraordinarily weak argument. Juvenile. If you DO accept his argument for marriage, than you must apply equally apply what he said to same-sex couples. "Partners" is not the same as married. I'd have to agree with the other posts, Prager makes pseudo-intellectual arguments.

[CaptObviousX]

This video made me lost all the respect i had for this person..

arguing just one narrow point of view of marrige shouldn't have the word "university" at the title

He didn't even consider the fact that living together is even better than marrige.

I don't know about english', but in hebrew the word for husband- "ba'al" means ownership. it reflects the tradinal thinking that men are superior to women and should control them. point is- marrige doesnt suit our time's thinking

[Composer19691]

@CaptObviousX Hi. You said "... the fact that living together is even better than marrige." How is that a ''fact'' and not an opinion?

[checkitoutdewd]

I'm not convinced. There wasn't a good argument in there at all. It basically boiled down to "marriage is great because Dennis Prager truly believes so."

I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years. We couldn't be happier. We're not slaves to tradition and peer pressure.

[MGsven]

lol cars dont crash 50% of times they are used, the arguments are weak, 50% chance of getting ur children taken from you, 50% chance not to mention the slavery of child support and allemony. its a weak case u made and no one should be convinced by it, like ur bond suddenly improves after signing for marriage. not true, nothing changed the bond between me and my wife, if i were with a western woman i would NEVER have married

[piprod01]

I'm honestly not seeing the benefit in marriage.

It's not just a piece of paper, it's a very expensive piece of paper. And if you find the wrong person, like about half of marriages, the splitting up is made far trickier and more expensive. Being in a committed long term relationship with someone seems to give you the same sort benefits, like "growing up", and being with someone.

[blubbblubb174]

in my homeland, germany, buggers are able to marry (even so it isnt called marriage) but i honestly dont see the point in that. in fact marriage is from the historical perspective a preparation to have kids and to keep a family, isnt it? buggers cant have kids, so why would they want to marry?

[ShishirYerramilli]

Im disappointed that Dr Prager didnt apply his own logic to why men especially fear marriage.Its because the divorce laws favor women.Since women are human and not angels , they are susceptible to evil acts just as much as men are.Therefore when the laws practically reward women for breaking up their marriage with alimony,half the husbands assets and earning and child custody,what are men to do?

Either the laws should change or women become angels, obviously the first option is more likely!

[KenMacMillan]

Dennis talked about a book called "The Longevity Project" by Howard S. Friedman and Leslie R. Martin on his show the other day. Technically it's about living a long life but it offers the best description of marriage & how it effects longevity I've ever seen. Thank you Dennis for pointing this book out to me.

[tokingquel]

This video is very interesting i find that within a diversity of people there is always going to be a polar opposite of opinions. Regarding marriage I feel that it is a choice that each person should make for themselves. Ultimately, I would not mind getting married. The problem with that is if I was to marry the type of individuals I'm currently dating, rest assure i would have to fight for my rights to make it legal. Please feel free to comment on my message, if you see fit.

[itubeyoublah]

women want commitment...men want submit-ment; getting married is natural and desirable for women, but submitting to the the headship of her husband - isn't so easy now is it; and a man isn't about to marry a competitor - he wants a feminine wife

[bigbrothersucksarse]

I'm a male, I love marriage and want 4 kids but I haven't found true love. What to do?

[richardtheconquerer]

Also, husband and wife is the deepest relationship there is??? Is he kidding? What about mother/child? Father/child? Brother/sister?

[richardtheconquerer]

So, my aunt, who has never been married, and has been taking care of my grandfather for the past few years (and my grandmother until recently, RIP) is immature by your stupid, simplistic definition? You're right, she probably only thinks about herself.

As usual with Prager, he's off base and incorrect.

[mikeecy]

men arent afraid of commitment. theyre afraid of the broad turning into a psycho ( as many of them do) and being forced to divorce her, get dragged through divorce court, spend a small fortune on lawyers and still end up paying alimony. marriage is for suckers.

[Zivlet]

Dennis,

While you think you're spreading good with your videos, you're actually spreading blind faith, which is the exact opposite of curiosity and rationality which makes us strive to make a better world.

Not asking "Why?" and simply accepting a "Because" is to me the most dangerous trait in human history since it gives rise to people who will use it for their own purposes (See the Muslim Ayatollah, the Christian Pope and the Jewish Rabbis).

I suggest everyone to read Richard Dawkins books.

[shieldsff]

I think it may also prove helpful to some of the viewers here to try to evaluate many of the more strident claims of the anti-theist critique ("brights") from a ideological/ metaphysics perspective. Check out the recent article by Jackson Lears in the May 16, 2011 issue of the The Nation entitled "Same Old New Atheism" .The article offers a compelling analysis of Sam Harris' works. Consideration is given to general atheistic social perspectives

[Onieracraft]

@Zivlet

What I suggest is that you rise above Pop-pseudo-intellectualism and read something deeper than Richard Dawkins (unless you're just digging his pure Biological works like the "Extended Phenotype". When he steps out of his field of Biology into Philosophy, what he writes is not worth the paper it's written on, but it appeals to superficial thinkers, particularly cynical college aged kids).

[Zivlet]

@Onieracraft

I've read most of Dawkins' books, including the extended phenotype, and I have to say I got the impression he is a very wise and intellectual person, whose ideas are very thorough and reasonable, which is something I look for in good ideas.

[101sycks]

You have to remember, Dennis tries to leave his own 'personal experience' in the "micro world". When he does these 'classes', he is speaking to the 'Macro" - meaning in generalities and not to any one persons specific experience. I am sure his marriage experience influenced his understanding of the institution. But his experience is irrelevant to the overall significance of whether it is worthwhile to marry or not - especially as a value to society.

[101sycks]

Having witnessed some really ugly divorces..... and some responsible ones - I have to say I hope my sons marry their 'sole-mates' and go on to live mature lives with a partner in life! BUT - if you marry wrong and it is a mess - GET OUT!!! You do no one a favor by staying in an ugly and dysfunctional situation!

[audioonly1]

A committed relationship my ass. You got divorced 2 times Dennis...Where was the commitment ? Couldn't hang in there huh ??

Any one that divorces is a LOOSER plane and simple. My folks stayed married for 52 yrs.

They had the power to stick with it. NOT YOU !!!

[RichardDJLilD]

I thought they were going to talk about gay marriage

[babywitz]

i disagree. the last thought you think of and the 1st thought married or single is about YOURSELF i am tired, why am i up this early.

and i know a lot of immature married people and a lot of people who are together for many years who are committed ( no ring) and are mature.

[babywitz]

i disagree. the last thought you think of and the 1st thought married or single is about YOURSELF i am tired, why am i up this early.

and i know a lot of immature married people and a lot of people who are together for many years who are committed ( no ring) and are mature.

[Unpunchable]

what about gay marriage? :D

[seukfuhi]

"Marriage makes people more responsible". WHAT ???? WHAT WHAT WHAT ?? This is the craziest thing I've ever heard. For me it's like saying: "Putting a hangman's rope around your neck makes you more responsible", or "Getting cancer makes you more responsible".

[MaryJo1950]

Am I the only one who finds it rather hypocritical for a man who is twice divorced and on marriage number three to be lecturing others on marriage?

[lcmy]

@MaryJo1950 People learn from their mistakes, so maybe he did.

[MaryJo1950]

@lcmy I've known a lot of people who married, learned from their mistakes the first time after they divorced and remarried the second time. I know no one who is on marriage number three. Given his smug arrogance I doubt he is capable of admitting to mistakes, let alone learning from them.

[Pomiferous]

@MaryJo1950 My brother is on marriage 3 or four. I quit counting after the second.

[Pomiferous]

@MaryJo1950  I would think him better qualified due to experiance.

[MaryJo1950]

@Pomiferous No, when someone has had two failed marriages and is on marriage number three all that indicates is they are either doing something wrong or have some kind of personality/emotional issues they should work on. Multiple marriages does not equal experience as does a variety of work responsibilities on a resume.

[Pomiferous]

@MaryJo1950 I don't know why having failed marriages would automaticaly disqualify someone from advocating the practice.There definatly could be all sorts of reasons attached to the previous failures other than the ones you mentioned even.

[MaryJo1950]

@Pomiferous Someone on marriage number 3 shold work on their own issues rather preaching to others. If someone has one failed marriage after another then they are typically doing something wrong or have issues they need to work one. Much as a person who goes through one friend after another and cannot keep friends. It typically them with the issues rather than the other people.

[Pomiferous]

@MaryJo1950 Personaly I never viewed Dennis as a preacher and good luck finding friends without issues.I'm still puzzled as to why you see him as unfit to advocate for the concept of marriage.Are you under the opinion a more skeptical view of the whole practice is best ? Considering all the possible malfunctions that could ensue.

[MaryJo1950]

@Pomiferous He is not simply advocating for marriage, elsewhere he gives out advice on what makes a good marriage. Not something a person on marriage #3 should be doing. Everyone has issues, some more than others, but when those issues are so great they hinder their ability to form relationships with other they should work on those issues instead of going from one relationship to another. If he has done so then he should aknowledge that.

[Pomiferous]

@MaryJo1950 I understand your mistrust of DP on marriage issues.The grounds for acceptable advice givers is not all together clear though.What test do they need to pass in order to be allowed to give input ?

[MaryJo1950]

@Pomiferous If he approached it from a more humble position and dropped his often arrogant tone. Said this is what i learned from my failed marriages, this is what i did wrong, here's how i worked on that, what i did to correct those things, etc.

[Pomiferous]

@MaryJo1950 Wow, it's like you feel obligated to be unkind toward the man or something.Setting aside your personal dislike for DP's personality.Is there anything specific he states about marriage in this post that you find troublesome ? I'm not even a big marriage advocate myself but I don't mind listening to alternative perspectives on the issue.Shacking up never seemed like an ideal expression either.

[MaryJo1950]

@Pomiferous No I get nothing from this video. It's just light black and white thinking. If someone is on marriage #3 I would like to hear them talk about what they believe went wrong the first time, what the issues between there were or their own issues, how they worked on those and resolved them. How they think the latest marriage will be better, what they didn't differently in choosing a partner, personality issues they may have had to resolve or modify, etc. That could actually be beneficial.

[juncode]

Seems that contraception has as its dark side the loss of motivation to marry.

When the alternatives are either early and irresponsible relationships and child-raising versus extinction of the culture, perhaps the former is better...

[mauritani987654]

your not going to use this "women and men have nature" to justify things like cooking and cleaning and manual work, are you?

[juncode]

@mauritani987654 I believe he wouldn't, since the advantage of allowing an individual as much freedom as possible in choosing their role in the society is quite evident.

However you're not going to argue that there are no common differences between male and female psychology, are you?

[mauritani987654]

@juncode well i think that those differences are obviously traces of influence of society, i what you mean that biology made our minds different blablabla, but i think that only applies to food and physique. but bla this could go on and ooon

[juncode]

@mauritani987654 Alors je suggère que vous lisiez "The Moral Animal" par Robert Wright, par example.

D'admettre qu'il y a des différences inhérents entre hommes et femmes n'indique pas nécessairement d'une culture arriérée, ainsi que d'ignorer des faits n'indique pas d'une pensée progressive

[cant4get]

Hippymobster, Dennis was simply making case on becoming more mature after making a commitment. He was not addressing the gay marriage issue. Regardless of how you feel about that issue, don't you agree that making a commitment to another person makes you more mature?

[cant4get]

Tephladon, what was the objective of Christ's presence on earth in accordance to scripture, to marry and be fruitful? What an odd comparison.

[xanaduisfaraway]

I wish world must become a Brothel...Promiscuity must be human right..We must be promiscuous.

Marriage is nothing but a Legal Prostitution...You can Purchase sex at cheaper price.

Dont marry, have sex with any one, pratice safe sex..doesnt matter how many people you copulate.

Govt must step in and ban marriage and encourage people towards promiscuity, that would be first step for human progress

[ansilatoms]

There is certainly a rational case for a civil contract, in the case of children, or property rights, but otherwise, no. Marriage is a religious rite. Otherwise, it's a assurance to a selfish desire for control by one person, over another.

[Nubiex7]

this may be true for most countries but for instance in Israel the woman benefits much more from divorce then the man who become almost an slave after divorce to his ex-wife

when divorce effects both sides equally = there is no problem in marriage

besides some people are just atheist and don't want the religious institute in their life

[MsSlc7]

Hmmmm--didn't really make a compelling case for marriage.... His thoughts are usually fairly profound and transformational. This was surface fluff. 

[Cyraside]

Marriage is just as outdated and irrelevant today as the religious beliefs it stems from. True love and trust need NO legal binding document or elaborate, materialistic ceremonies. Just like someone said in a previous comment it's nothing more than an attempt at buying commitment. As for homosexuals, I could care less what they want to do with their lives because like God, marriage is a result of the fertile human imagination, and it's only in our minds that it actually holds any weight.

[kejewa]

@Cyraside Clearly not speaking from experience.

Also, if you COULD care less, it means you care a little.

[KristofskiKabuki]

When I was at school, all my friend's parents were either divorced or in long-term, very loving and commited, un-married relationships. Not only were they doing very well with it, but their kids turned out pretty damn well too.

So yeah, I think this is a load of rubbish.

[kejewa]

@KristofskiKabuki The fat lady hasn't sung yet.

[KristofskiKabuki]

@kejewa What's that supposed to mean? Many of my friend's parents who wern't married had been together for at least 20 years, which is longer than many marriages.

But, of course, if they ever broke up it would totally be because they wern't married

[spicydreamt]

if 50% of all cars crashed in the course of their life (7 years in average), there probably would indeed be less people seeking a driving license

[jewfizzle]

I like how this is completely devoid of any factual basis or reference to sociological studies. Keep on keepin' Prager, you ignorant ass.

[kejewa]

@jewfizzle Yes, because people are so cognizant of facts. Tell me FACTS and I'll change what I'm doing at the drop of a hat, right?

[heartless567]

I've had lots of love since my divorce, but have never considered (to my detriment) remarriage. I had a great marriage and have never gotten over my needless divorce. Anything that could convince people to put aside doubts and fears and try it again, is great.

[gabito27]

And then gays what? Should they killed themselves? Shouldn't they deserve a good life with the same rights as well? As long as I know, he is against gay marriage the mother fucker.

[lakeeriejew]

@gabito27

The gay argument is a straw man argument.

It's a self-inflicted disease. 97% of gays have had a a heterosexual experience.

Fag behavior should never be normalized by society anymore than incest or bestiality.

[dsperlin]

@lakeeriejew

The difference is, it is between two people of a consenting age, not with a child and not with an animal. Homosexuality is no different than heterosexuality. Might you be surprised to know that there are millions of straight people who've had a homosexual experience? Does that mean they're really gay? Stop being a Philistine

[Natemesis]

@dsperlin

Homosexuality is different than heterosexuality. Only one of them can procreate, the other cannot.

I also argue if you allow gay marriage you must allow plural marriage that's between consenting adults, not with a child and not with an animal.

[gabito27]

@Natemesis dude, procreation is not related. i know gay couples with amazing kids. i know str8 couple that do not have kids, cannot have, or do not want to. learn, read, expose yourself. open your mind, you are hurting people. as far as plural, you know what? start with one. and let everybody else have the right to marry. then go for more. share a little bit your right 1st.

[gabito27]

@lakeeriejew Are you orthodox?

[gabito27]

@lakeeriejew what do you even know? do you know how many gays are and were not ever attracted to women? you even say fag in a way of an insult as saying dike, or kike, or nigga, you are disgusting. i could not call love bestiality. why? because someone decided to wrote it in the bible once upon a time were science did not exist? do you know that people only follow interpretations? not even that, most of the people go by translations, you loose a lot in translations. people shouldspeak Hebrew 1st

[xexixk]

@gabito27 Take a look at this video watch?v=AEuDDvqYbVw  I think it explains a lot about people like jakeeriejew

[kejewa]

@gabito27 Gays deserve happiness too, but if the lifestyle is antithetical to the religions that gave us marriage, what is the point in pursuing it? It's hypocritical.

[gabito27]

@kejewa

Excuse me? Do you know how many arranged marriages existed because of religion? (and still do) how many married more than one women? (even in the bible). then was ok and not it is not. well, one day it will be ridiculous to think that gay people could not marry.

how many heterosexual people are still married and they cheat to each other? you have NO IDEA how many. Is that ethical? lol

Besides, if you are talking about religion, that would be an issue of marrying or not religiously

[kejewa]

@gabito27 No, arranged marriages and poligamy are cultural, not biblical. People cheat on each other, regardless of sexual orientation. I don't expect that anyone knows how many are cheating, apart from God. It's NOT ethical, it is selfish and stupid and I don't see how it makes you laugh out loud. I also don't see how your comment relates to mine except that maybe you are having difficulty with comprehension. I wish you well in the pursuit of truth.

[gabito27]

@kejewa

nevertheless, nobody has the right to vote on other's people right. as i said, it is the right of having equal rights. don't want to call it marriage? fine. same rights are mandatory. now. last but not least, i am talking about civil papers. state? federal? you got it? not marrying in a church.

if you really believe in God. let HIM judge or decide, not you people. so many bigots! my god!

[gabito27]

one more time: i wish you the best or all the happiness. not the best of luck i "pursue of truth". i know were i am. i don't need any "polite insult" of telling me "that i should find the way"

[seukfuhi]

This vid is an insult to all people who chose to live single, or being together unmarried, or even having kids and not marry. Prager unilateraly proclaims with no other evidence besides his subjective mind that married people are superior, more mature and experiencing a deeper relationship than others. This is simply ridiculous. Moreover, the "car crash-divorce" comparison is more than absurd.

[yamakonja]

Comptete and total bullcrap. "Marriage makes you more mature". HAHA. Seriously ??? How many stupid morons married and still completely wasted their lives. This is one of the worst shits I've ever seen in my whole life.

[kobi665]

this is completley a propoganda video , there is a script that doesnt allow me to post a link to osho's interview about marriage.. you suck so much

[kobi665]

search osho and mariiage

[ForestFay]

why does society need marriage?

[JGMagoo]

@ForestFay Society benefits from (and therefore needs) marriage beause marriage has a very stabillizing effect on people. You are more likely to hold a job, work harder, obey laws, resist violence, be more careful with your health and the risks you take, etc. etc. etc. Also, it is a proven fact that children raised in a two-married-parent home statistically are more successful in life. Hopefully you have experienced some of these benefits.

[Kami5909]

Every argument made in this video is completely subjective--for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

To me, it is a prison.

[RainsAgenda]

@Kami5909 I would agree with you, accept for the fact that he didn't actually make any arguments. He said, "society wants people to be married" without explaining why, and said "there's a difference between the word partner and husband/wife" without explaining what that difference is. These aren't arguments, they're blanket statements and baseless assertions that we're expected to just swallow as fact.

[RainsAgenda]

It's not just a piece of paper, it's not just a ring, it's not just a ceremony.

It's extortion.

These things are money, money from my pocket to hers. Money she will hold over my head to ensure I won't leave her. It's an attempt at buying commitment. Commitment is intangible. It cannot be bought, and it cannot be held over someone's head as a debt. The reason why I stay when there's nothing shackling me to her, is commitment.

Refuse to institutionalise your love.

[sunsetally]

3:55

[randomactsofviolets]

It is little wonder, then, that gay and lesbian Americans continue to fight tooth and nail to have the same right of recognition and acceptance that heterosexual people have. With the benefits of marriage backed up by studies and widely accepted, I continue to wonder about the logic of denying marriage to people when it is so much "better for the world." Denying the right to something that is well-accepted as a positive force for good makes very little sense.

[randomactsofviolets]

"It's better for the world if people marry."

There is a logical and reasonable case to be made for marriage, for something more than a long term relationship -- for a socially recognized, legally advantageous marker that says "We two people are making a commitment that is not just a promise that can be easily broken." It also imposes shared responsibility for caring for each other & for any children.

Marriage is most valuable because it is so widely respected, accepted, and recognized. (cont)

[ChefooCat]

beautiful! i love marriage. forwarding to my kids.

[Mchurchwell]

You did it again Dennis!

Please make more videos!!!!

[massenga]

three cheers for marriage! Especially gay marriage. Overturn DOMA now.

[juststopandthink]

This is wonderful. I love the arguments Dennis Prager uses here. My hippie sisters told me growing up that is was just a piece of paper. In fact, it is no great surprise that their shack-up boyfriends were the ones spreading this bit of wisdom around. Nothing like being a woman and not being good enough to marry because it's just a piece of paper not the foundation of society.

[MrBonnalurken]

I hate the word "partner" refering to lovers. A partner is someone you do business with, or who joins you in a squad car.

[adventurechick1]

Dennis, Thank you for this 5 min semester course on marriage. :) I listen to a lot of conservative radio and you are my favorite. You are so wise, thoughtful, articulate, and kind. Thank you for all your work on radio, articles, and now Prager University; which help guide and inform us. I have learned so much from you throughout the years. Wishing you and your family much happiness, because it is a serious problem. lol. Take care. (p.s. Dennis for president)!

[goodtogoidaho]

@adventurechick1 Indeed. Dennis Prager is really great, he's my fav. too.