I know who my real family is. Thats all that I care about. People in usa are fucking stupid. I hope people around me that read this know whats up or move away from this area. I dont want anything to do with you if you cant even tell me whats going on.
For this change to happen. IT BEGINS WITH YOU! I already done my part. And Im not doing this ever again, not even for usa.
Supposivly Im Portugal or have Scotland in my blood with Mesopotamian. Its kinda stupid but not what you think.
Im adopted, never met my real family, been blown up and screwed by usa and fed lies and told it was the Iraqi people and that whole thing about many deaths thing in life which yeah. Been hooked up with a tranny and never knew when Im straight. I basically been to hell and back. And people want me who was a ADOPTED and fed lies while society bashes me about being foreign actually CARE for usa? I wasnt born in usa, GENTLE SHEPHERD agency was behind this (part of catholic church in usa).
No one cares about me which I really dont care. They expect me to CARE for them when its their move to GIVE ME MY INHERITANCE? Watch me leave the usa and do something. Im beginning to think women have mental issues along with men in society if they cant tell me whats going on. I hear voices in my head as if they put something in me like a "DEVICE" or tracker. They think my biggest concern is getting laid? No its not. Thats all guys care about I guess in usa. Im not like regular MEN on earth
My adoption parents are a disgrace. Nothing but LIES and was in the media like the illuminatis doing. People already know who I am what I did for usa and society still trys to fuck me over which I think is kinda funny. I cut myself off from my adoption family due to them not being able to CONFESS to me in person but instead live lies to me. I know who my real family is and I heard rumors about it too at young age about them killed in a accident which I couldnt find or ask about.
These are all the same questions an emotions I struggle with everyday. Thanks you so much for this video it's comforting to know I'm not the only one with feeling like these.
To all the heartless people on here who have absolutely no clue what an adoptee goes through, do some research before putting the video creator down.
As an adoptee myself and having children who were taken forcefully, and adopted out I know all too well the "hell" some go through. I was put in foster care at a very young age, my real father abused us in all ways he possibly could. Foster families nearly drowned my sister, beat us etc.
our adoptive family always threw it in our faces how grateful we should be, yet she beat us with leather belts, made my sister eat her own vomit and many more very abusive treatment. The system fails children like my sister and I every day. We are lucky to have made it out alive, though often up until recently (the last few years) I didn't think I was so lucky to be alive. Many adoptees would rather have been aborted never knowing the suffering we have gone through...
If you had been my child, I would tell you that the process of losing you to adoption was the most traumatic event in my life, and I have worried and grieved for you ever since. You will always be a part of me. I'm sorry for your pain and feeling of abandonment! I never gave you away; I lost you due to coercion and being abandoned myself. I wanted to bring you up as mine; I wasn't allowed.
@gangstaunicorns16 My mother is adopted and my biologic father ran out on us, so I only know one blood relative. If this bitch hates her life so much she should just kill herself already.
This is beautiful! As an adoptee myself, the sentiments you expressed really hit home with me. I now work at reuniting adoptees and birth parents as it helps to bring about a lot of healing on both sides. It did with me when I found my birth mother about 8 months ago.
@ErinnE3 why cause i called her an ungrateful little brat? She is presenting herself in such a manner it is probably true. Her mother could have had an abortion, and her adoptive parents would have had a better child. Just saying she should be grateful to have been chosen by a family that loves her. Versus living with a mother that didn't want her.
Wow you seem like an ungrateful little brat. I wish to god my mother would have given me up for adoption, instead I was abused and neglected. Once I was old enough to STEAL FOOD, I was able to eat regularly. So just remember what could have happened if your birth parent kept you.
@sjkobold You'd think that would make you more empathetic to the pain of others. NO ONES pain should be thrown back in their face, everyone feels, not just you. Wow, how horrible to say what you said.
I can not have a child with my husband and that hurts me so very badly I am possessed by the thought of it every moment of every day and I know I am not alone. I would never want to cause anyone else pain. I was an orphan and I think I would rather have been adopted and loved than rejected and never adopted as was the case for me. I know there are alot of people like me that truly want to love children and are ok with helping them through the separation process of adoption.
I was adopted and I have felt the feeling of being rejected but I think this is a little too selfish. The mothers had good reasons, and I'm glad I was given up for adoption rather than aborted. I was adopted from china, which has strict child laws, I have felt rejected when thinking about if I had been a boy my mother may have kept me, but she gave me life. And it's not only hard on us, but also on our mothers. Think about it, they sacrificed having a child, to give us better lives.
Aylofcoes FUCK YOU you don't know what its like I feel the same way cuz im adopted an you obviously don't live in complete poverty cuz your on YouTube or is that because you waste all your money an keep the credit card debt goin?
those welfare mothers people constantly put down without thinking why those women are there to begain with. Or young scare women will abort. Any woman who choses adoption does it out of pure love. Not cause they child isnt wanted or loved. Until your in a birthmothers shoes, or at least try to put yourself there, you cant possible know the pain. I cry myself to sleep at night knowing I wont Know this child. everynight. goodluck to you selfish self centered people.
I didnt get through the first 2 minutes of this and I just want to say SHAME on you! I im currently carrying a child I cant give a good life to. I live in complete poverty and already have two girls I cant hardly do right by. I made the choice that this child deserves better then this. I have found this little girl a wonderful family that will love her so much. But really.....posting this video will more likely stear women to keeping a child they shouldnt. they will end up unhappy and one
@AlyaofCoES You say, "I found wonderful family that will love her so much."
It shows great love finding a caring home for your baby. I understand the pain of your sacrifice. However try to understand the video isn't about putting down birth-mothers, it's about what we who have been adopted TRULY feel within us. A never-ending feeling of being alone. It touches on the real pain of that in a caring way.
We understand, but still we hope, we wait, and we forever love our mom.. For Eternity...
Oh please get over yourself. We all deal with pain and loss. By the list of things you did, it sounds like you had a very nice childhood. If you had not been adopted and had a horrible life you might feel a lot different. The grass is always greener eh
Thank you for being so open and honest. I came on to read what ppl were saying re adoption and what i read disturbed me and made me sad. Can I jus say...I am a mother of three, 2 birth, 1 adopted. I have raised them equally, love them the same, and bestowed all rights & privileges equal to all three children. If anything we spoil her 'cause she is absolutely our adored little princess. I cannot imagine the devastation to our other children, my husband, our extended families who love her (o
Giving a child up or having them taken causes severe spiritual rape. It tears up your soul.The gov took my grandchildren and lied about me in court giving them to two gay men. I have a rage and a sorrow that only God knows, Do my grandchildren have a clue they are on my mind every minute of every day? Do you think their gay surrogate dads let them know I want a visit they refuse? NEVER assume you know the truth because gov agents lie, steal, cheat and destroy families needlessly everyday
Honestly, are you sure CPS didn't remove you and sell you for title IV funds? Better find out the truth. Your Mom is out there thinking about you EVERYDAY regardless.
anybody considering adoption needs to watch this video. your "children" will never truly love you or give a damn about you no matter how you love them and sacrifice for them. Don't be a sucker.
@emybabe01 ...Wow are you backwards. First and foremost, your heart should be breaking for all of the adoptees who have to live and grow up feeling this way.
Secondly, your heart should be breaking for all the parents relinquishing children because they have no other choice, because they are not given the full support of society to raise their children.
This is sad, I think adoption is a wonderful thing. This video breaks my heart for the adoptive parents, because they love this child just as much as a birth parent would, and this child is crying because the people that made it couldn't keep him/her? Sure, his/her creators weren't there for all that, but their PARENTS sure were. Parents are the people that raised you, fed you, loved you, and made you who you are today. It would break my heart if I adopted a child that made this kind of video.
@emybabe01 So you are unfit to adopt ever, adoptees have no duty to feel grateful, certainly not if they do not know the alternative. If you are adopted, without your signature, you should be free to fight, cancel, disrupt, destroy and otherwise nullify the adoption you never wanted, it should be your choice to make yourself unadopted and reclaim your birthright, how little that may be.
@emybabe01 Nannies do the same things that you just described, that doesn't make them a parent though, you are deceived and truly misguided, you have the typical mindset of entitlement and fantasy of an adopter so sad that a poor child is used to make the adopter feel good and feel like a real parent and then expected to have gratitude towards them and loyalty, Real parents are not like this and do not have this mindset, typical though adopters or pap, thinking about themselves + guilt tripping
abortion would have been definitly been better than being adopted by people that beat you screamed at you for 16 years and sexualy asalted you so the adoption agencys can make money making us [ non people ] and illegal to be alive people
they dont want to abort disabled fetuses because they can make money for 60 years taking care of the people while they suffer
I'm so sorry. It is wrong for us to place our babies fo adoption. They told us that you would be grateful and by time so many of us stopped beleiing them, it was too late.
One of the hardest and most horrifing things I ever had to do was realize that the act of reliquishment that was to save my son from pain, could have actually contributed to it and, in truth, increased his load to carry.
No one would choose an enterniy of this for any of us..but especially not our babies.
Thank you for this video. I gave my daughter up for adoption and pray every night that she was kept safe from the things so many respondants of your video have. You are right as Birth mothers we do miss out on all of the moments that we should have been there for. I can only hope that she didn't have to feel this way. For nineteen and a half years I wondered if she felt this way too. I see now my fears are a possibility. Thank you for this video.
I concurr. Everyone, especially if the adoptee did not have a good experience, ought to be heard. My heart goes out to you. Absolutely no one is to tell you how to feel. Ideallly in an adopton, both parties complete each other. I wonder if it would have been wiser for those adopted an early age who couldn't possibly have memories of it, to have been told at all?
Thank you for this video.You said what I was feeling all these years but didn't have the words to say it. It's hard to explain it and talk to other people about my feelings about being adopted because they don't understand or blow it off and say how wonderful adoption is. Yes I'm grateful for my adopted parents raising me but I'm still empty inside and have lots of questions.
Just heard the description of Charlie Gilmour, Cenotaph-climbing student protester, as 'Pink Floyd's David Gilmour's adopted' son,BBC radio news headlines, maybe other bulletins too) and I am still baffled as to why the fact of his adoption is considered an issue and a factor worth highlighting. Is he in some way defined or different by being adopted? Like having red hair in the UK, is being adopted considered weird and worthy of pointing at? This may not make sense to non-adopted people.
I'm and adoptee as well and while i had a good adoption my brother didnt he suffers from abandonment issues because of it (it didn't help that when he met his birth mom she told him she never wanted to see him again b/c he wasn't what she expected in other words hes to much like her) i feel for all of those who didn't have a good adoption! ppl need to know it doesnt always work and sometimes theres nothing you can do about it look at my bro and me raised in the same home, two different results
I am so sorry of you r pain. I am an adoptive Mother. My husband and myself have adopted 6 children and have fostered over 20. I could not imagine not having my children. Not for one minute. I guess my situation is different because the birth-parents didn't give up their children...they abused them horribly instead. We will spend the rest of our lives trying to right the wrong they did. Blessings to you all.
I don't know your pain. I am a birth mother in open adoption. His adoptive parents are the parents i wish my parents were like. Thankfully the adoptive parents are willing to tell my son that I love him. I miss him every day of my life. I want so much for him that I can't give him. I've grown up unhappy and with regret for what my mom can't give me. I know it must be hard for you to understand but a mother loves her child more than anyone can imagine. Birth mothers live with the pain everyday
Thank you for making this video! The adoptee voice is one that is often ignored or brushed off. Please know your pain is real and legitimate.
I am not adopted, so I will never know your pain. However, I am a birth mother... So I know the pain of being separated from your child (though I've been blessed with an open adoption). Have you tried searching for your birth mother? Also, have you thought about counseling, or journaling? Both can be very helpful with processing grief
You can´t choose the circumstances that you live (or born) but you can choose what think or do about it. you decides the attitude. Try psycotherapy. Hugs.
You can´t choose the circumstances that you live (or born) but you can choose what think or do about it. you decides the attitude. Try psycotherapy. Hug.
i was adopted im grown now. my adoptive mother was a raving lunatic, probably still is . i was adopted from greece during the black market scandal.
the unbalanced women paid more to adopt
The most abuse is suffered from adopted and foster children. not to mention the touchy,feeley hands from adoptive fathers who probably wouldn't feel up their biological children, that is if they could have any in the first pace.
By the time I was five I was thrown away 5 times, The last place they took me because none of the adoption agencies would let them have a real kid so they had to take me instead. Life was horrible.
I was adopted and am in a very good home. I feel secure and loved and am happy. I know I wouldn't have the opportunities I have now either. Although I love my parents very much, I still do think about my birthmother. I wrote a song to her called Dear Jane. I will send as a video response and hopefully it will be accepted. If not, go to my channel and find it. Leave me comments.
@JennNikole Most adoptees would have been happier with their natural families. Child welfare experts know this now, and oppose stranger adoption. They advocate keeping mothers and babies together whenever possible and kinship care when neither parent can safely raise their child. The vast majority of infant adoptions resulted from fraud and coercion. Holland recently banned domestic infant adoptions. Experts in more enlightened countries are appalled by American adoption practices.
@asynkronos Actual statistics (with references) would be welcome here. As opposed to terms that you pull out of the air like "most" and "the vast majority". My niece and nephew were adopted through foster care because their biological mother neglected and abused them. But I'm sure they would have been MUCH happier if they had been left to her tender care....
Thank you for this video, you put it so beautifully, the pain of being adopted. It is not a popular view to express, but it really helped me today to hear someone else express it....I will save this and watch it again when adoptee sadness hits me...<3
There is one who loves you more, than an earthly mother or father ~ remember, they missed your life. Some unable to be helped, others, no excuse. God Bless!
Statistically speaking, no one is more capable of cruelty towards children than biological parents. I know it's not as dramatic sounding (and won't make a tear-jerker youtube video), but most adoptions worldwide are very successful.
@slchandl Not true. Children are at much higher risk of being abused and killed by adopters, foster carers and step-parents than by their natural parents. "Adoption professionals" don't know or care what happened to the millions of parents and children they separated over the last 75 years, no more than you do. They allow adopters to masquerade as natural parents to hide their crimes, so we're blamed for them. They lie for a living and rake in billions selling babies for adoption.
@VinnyCons No, people like you only wish it were. You can't justify the abuse and exploitation of loving mothers in adoption so try to discredit us. We've heard every lying insult in the book and then some. Your willful ignorance and lack of empathy are showing. Have you been diagnosed with a character disorder? Many people who adopt babies have serious mental health problems. They're hostile, defensive and immature. They project like crazy on the children's real mothers.
@VinnyCons Who are you to invalidate another human beings feelings , you are no one to do such a thing, these feelings expressed are the feelings of the expresser not you not your feelings. Didn't your mama teach to if you have nothing nice to say or can't relate to say nothing at all, you know not what you speak of.
nearly all moms who surrendered did so because they were given no choice. They were told if they really loved their baby, they would. I begged to keep and they told me if I didn't agree to give her up I would not be allowed to see her any more. It is emotional torture ALL OUR LIVES!!!! thank you making this video. You are an angel.
nearly all moms who surrendered did so because they were given no choice. They were told if they really loved their baby, they would. I begged to keep and they told me if I didn't agree to give her up I would not be allowed to see her any more. It is emotional torture ALL OUR LIVES!!!! thank you making this video. You are an angel.
this hurts for me too see this the state stold my children i never gave them up and yes the were truly wanted and i plan them this is so sad i hope that the state does not brainwash my children too think a horrble thing as this!!!
Thank you for this. I can't tell you how many times I have been totally attacked when I discuss adoption online. Nobody wants to hear our sad stories. Nobody cares that I was abused, because MOST adoptees aren't. Nobody cares that I lived in an unstable, stressful environment, because MOST adoptees don't. Nobody cares that I wasn't grateful to be adopted, because I should just be thankful that I wasn't aborted. Bull. You didn't have to live my life.
@lifescholar it's about learning from it, i've been attacked on here, i've been told i'm nothing more then a slave bought like a toaster at kmart, i was fortunate to be adopted, as my birth father was a rapist, my mother was 12, mentally unstable, so yeah, i was lucky, but nothing was perfect. your experiences are what make you strong, the harder they try to knock you down just keep proving it's impossible to keep you down, hopefully, because of the crap, you will be an amazing parent one day.
@xXxXBleedPurpleXxXx I definitely have learned from it. I have two kids, and am taking the good things from my childhood and doing the opposite of the bad. Truth be told, my kids probably wouldn't even be here yet if I hadn't had such a hard childhood!
But, I know lots of great parents who had great childhoods, too. So I don't think I am grateful to have had that experience.
@lifescholar i don't know, i guess coming from the situation i came from being grateful is all i have to offer my parents at this point. both ends, grateful she gave me up, which she did, ppl bitch about ppl saying that because they like to sugarcoat it and say nooo they didn't give you uppp they gave you liiife, no lol they give you up for that better life, but it is in fact giving a child up, and grateful i had wonderful ppl who wanted to raise me. everyones situation is diff i say the same
@xXxXBleedPurpleXxXx I'm totally with ya! Even my siblings I would say were lucky. Even though our home had its problems, they came from worse situations. And any of us could have ended up in foster care forever....
For me, I know my natural parents, and I feel like I really missed out by not being with them. I never really had a Dad until I was reunited with my natural father. He is the father I always dreamed of!
@lifescholar thing to people who come from abusive homes, who then are abusive, have to look them in the face and say you know what it feels like, don't use the "cycle" excuse, take what happened to you, and vow to never treat another human that way. i don't know ahhh i'm no therapist, just very opinionated haha.
@lifescholar I hear you. And, you're right. Everyone wants to believe that adoption is this beautiful thing. Every time I hear that, I want to puke. You had a right to be raised by your real mother. I'm sure she was a victim of the system just like you were.God Bless you. Those who separate mothers and children will get theirs one day if I have anything to do with it. I was abused by the system more than 20 years ago. Adoption and CPS criminals are the reason I have decided to go to law school.
@lifescholar The words that hyou have stated here are exactly what my situation was. You are the only adoptee that I know that also says this. YAY. I lived in HELL.
@lifescholar Thank you for UR reply to the post I was not grateful to be adopted either. Now 41, I have met my biological mother.I was not impressed at all.She showed no emotion, And she has not showed any love toward me since we met. The people that adopted me are crazy.I have zero contact with them.I can't tell which feels lonelier:Having met her, or not having met her.I was so angry,I want to scream at her:Thanks for sending me to HE**. Ok no you didn't say that part at all. But I do.
i was also adopted, but my story is kinda different but the same, my mom told me that my parents were very young and that my mother didnt want me but my father did. i once met my biological father when i was 7. that was the last time bc my father committed suicide because of our adoption i suffer daily, and it is very painful and most people dont know the pain we all go through............
@devi7150 I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that, that must be really hard for you. It's unfortunate that we pay for the choices other people make. But they pay for them too. Thank you for sharing that and if you ever want to write and talk, just send me a message.
this really spoke to me. my parents told me i was adopted when i was very little. of course i was young. i really didnt think about it much. but transitioning into the 7th grade ive though about it everyday. and im heading into highschool again. from the 7th grade ive been suffering from deppression. my parents also adopted my sister. but hers was an open adoption. and i had to go with her to her birth mothers house. and watch her hug her birth mother. i feel alone. and disconnected.
@Mrbungles1 I totally understand what you're going through. I was put up for adoption but my birth mom kept my older sister and it's been weird since I found her a few years ago seeing them together. I don't have a bond with them. Although that whole situation is quite complicated. :S Such is life.
i wasnt adopted instead my mother left me in an apartment when i was three years old luckley my granparents where there to get me out of there i havenet senn my mother in 4 years my mother likes men more then me i dont ever want to see her again as long as i live and somtimes i wish i was adopted
I was adopted too this almost made me cry... You never really know why you were put up for adoption... my mom always told me that my birth mother was young and single and just didnt have the money to take care of a child AND herself... im thankful that she didnt try to raise me i could be living in a horrible condition right now but instead i have a really nice life.
((hugs)). I'm an adoptee too. Abortion and adoption have very little to do with one another, yet people throw it in our faces constantly. It's hurtful, ignorant and rude when they do that. Keep on speaking out. Instead of telling you how to feel about being adopted, others need to stop and listen to you because YOU are the one who has lived it.
@IheartNovember You're so right. What most adoptees are subjected to is nothing less than child abuse. My first child was taken for adoption by fraud and coercion when I was 17. Most of us could have had legal abortions even before Roe v. Wade, but chose not to because we loved our babies and intended to raise them. We didn't bring them into the world so infertile strangers could adopt them. Our unconditional love for them was turned against us. Nothing justifies this cruelty.
@IheartNovember the only thing the same about both are they are way to deal with a unwanted baby but thats where it ends abortion is killing and adoption can bring a new life that nice also i'm adoptee too and thats a cheep card to play when auguring to a adopted person for there are comebacks to that
you know I am commenting on this because what this video shows is that you are disturbed by the fact that your mother placed you for adoption...just know she loved you enough to give you life!
@heavensentprincess1 I know that she loved me enough to give me life, but that doesn't change the fact that I miss her and wish I had her in my life. There are a lot of emotions that go through you when working through being adopted. It's rough and a work in process for a lot of people.
@marza60 Your comment was very true and I appreciate you writing it. The pain is real and should be allowed to be felt. Not to stay in the pain, but to work through it and find some positive in it.
can you help me get over my adoption problome? I really miss my sisy and i feel like she is missing everything in my life. I am 14 now and got taken away at 4 years old
@marza60 I can listen to your story. Please send me a message, my thoughts are with you. You will make it through this! Maybe start writing her letters, then when you do meet her one day, she won't have missed anything.
Thank you for making this. I'm a 33yr old male adoptee found out only recently I was adopted. My wounds are so deep even deeper cause I never got along with my adoptive parents I was abused emotionally by them...as a teenager I attempted suicide. All I can say is Thank you mom for giving birth to me.
@franselse me and you are so alike,i am just a female and also 33!the emotion abuse als almost killed me!!!!!!!!!!!!thank god i have what to live for today ,my kids!!!!!!!!
I feel so alone and I wish I could see my Mom's face and hug and kiss her just once.. Mom I love you, I just want one look at you. I understand that you had problems but I just miss you so much.
Her reply was, you would be put in a foster home and the odds of being set in a family with your baby would be less than 5 percent.The anger I had was just incredible. After looking for any way possible of keeping my unborn child, I found myself issolating myself and not wanting to live. It isn't easy for either party but my choice to give my child up for adoption wasn't easy. I know that any birthmother in this world would say the same thing.
Her reply was, you would be put in a foster home and the odds of being set in a family with your baby would be less than 5 percent.The anger I had was just incredible. After looking for any way possible of keeping my unborn child, I found myself issolating myself and not wanting to live. It isn't easy for either party but my choice to give my child up for adoption wasn't easy.
I am so sorry for your pain! I am a birthmother. I gave my son up for adoption when I was 16 years old. If I didn't comply with my parents wishes they would put me up to be a ward of the state. I looked into this to see if it was possible and found that yes it was. I could remember falling to the floor thinking please dear God help me! I turned then ask the social worker what would happen then if I had my baby and was a ward of the state.
how can you feel alone? You have many people who love you. Your birthmother loved you enough to understand she couldn't give you the life you deserved and your adoptive parents loved you so much they chose to give you that better life. I understand it can be disheartening to not know that part of you but you were given a lot in return. Trust me she loved you more than you can ever know
@simplyforgiven I have a question for you , are you an adoptive parent? Did you know it has been proven that it is not good to separate mother & baby, your comment reminds me some what of the be grateful guilt trip card pulled out on a lot of adoptese. You know American culture really has things backwards in family values, things and money are just that , things and money, other cultures got it right, life and sacred mother child natural relationship should always come before things and money
@raffynjenny Raffy, no I am not an adoptive parent but plan to be. I have an adopted sister who met her birth parents and guess what, she met them once and never wanted to again. Maybe some people who put their children for adoption can take care of their child. But some can't be it financially or emotionally or physically. Sorry, but I don't think that someone on drugs should be caring for a child...Point blank. And some birth parents don't want to raise their child on welfare.
@simplyforgiven thanks for responding I can not find your other response about open adoptions, actually open adoptions is the new coercion the new lure used by agencies, open adoption is not enforceable by law, and once the adoption is finalized the adopters can do as they please with the child, 80% open adoptions close their doors on the natural parents, agencies , lawyers and brokers encourage adopters to lie to make false promises of openness to get what they want the baby, it's sick really
@raffynjenny Well, it is unfortunate that those people are not honest but that doesn't mean that all adoptions are a bad thing. On this page are a select few of people who have been adopted. Not all are unhappy as your presume. I've met many people who are happy they were adopted, who love their parents and what they did. Trust me, most adoptive parents agree the costs are ridiculous. But unfortunately some birth mothers work the system.
@raffynjenny When I say some work the system, I'll give you an example. A women approached an agency about giving her baby for adoption. She seemed very committed and asked for only a biracial couple to adopt her baby. She asked the agency for money and living expenses which they paid her. They found my husband and I who are a biracial couple and suddenly she no longer wanted the adoption. She used the agency for money then when a family was found she backed away.
@raffynjenny We were never promised anything from her but it was awfully fishy. Anyways, the particular agency won't get that money back for helping this mother out. There are a lot of costs involved in the adoption process. And the agency workers have families, too. Most attended college and have degrees and they deserve to receive a salary too. While I think the costs are crazy, I do think there should be some cost involved. There would be even if you had birthed your own child.
@raffynjenny Unfortunately, not every situation is ideal but everything is done to try to make sure great homes are chosen. I think what you see as coercion is simply an agency trying to give birth mothers the facts they need to make the right decision for them. You make it sound like agencies go out and force girls to come and ask them about adoption but that is not the truth. Those girls go and inquire about adoption themselves and are given facts and advice so they can choose.
@raffynjenny And shame on your for saying most people who can't have children shouldn't have them anyways. There are many wonderful people who would make wonderful parents who are unable to have children. And not everyone adopts because they can't have children. As a believer in God, I truly believe some people are called to be adoptive parents. I feel I am.
@simplyforgiven excuse me can you please show me where I said people who can't have children shouldn't have them, as I don't recall saying such a thing!
@simplyforgiven I am on no pedestal as you accuse me of, I just happen to know what I am talking about, not saying you don't so please don't take that the wrong way, I researched and continue to research because I am going to be specializing in the field of family preservation, I wasn't looking to argue or make anyone upset , but to enlighten with the Honest to God truth. God bless you in your journey, also maybe check out adoptee blogs as well and first mothers blogs, book ,The Stork Market
@raffynjenny You have berated people for their opinions and truth is subjective. There are few absolute truths in the world. And when it comes to emotions, there definately is no absolute truth. I know many people who have been adopted and only one of them has had issues with their adoption and it was because their birth mother gave her up and kept the rest of her sisters and brothers. I will agree with you on one thing though. Adopted children should know they are adopted.
@simplyforgiven ok this is my last response to you , I have berated no one not one,again I do know what I am talking about , adoption is an industry a multi-billion dollar industry,it's a business, just take a look around, child trafficking ,adoptions scams in Guatemala, Marshall Islands and on and on, the BSE era is another example ,Adoption is shrouded in secrecy and lies starting with birth certificate.God honors no lies please do not be fooled,I am done, God Bless you on your journey
@raffynjenny Keeping that from them only causes resentment when they get older. Information should not be cut off because as you said, it is important for a person to know their background. Medical records should be able to be accessed and names should be kept so when that child is an adult, if contact wasn't maintained throughout their life, they can find their birth family if they so choose.
@raffynjenny You can have your opinion but don't come on here berating mine or others. I simply said in the beginning that adoptees have many people who love them. People who sacrificed for them. It was simply an encouragement. So get off your pedestal. You don't know every situation or every circumstance.
@simplyforgiven adoptions are complex, I am mainly speaking about infant adoptions, the majority of girls are coerced and pressured and even threatened i.e keep your baby and will need to pay all expenses etc threats like that , there are a few that really don't want their child. Adoption separation is damaging to both mother and child after birth and is life long please look up Nancy Verrier on here she is an adoptive mother and specialist, Google Origins Australia,
@raffynjenny Most birth mothers would like to keep their children but out of an act of complete selflessness choose adoption for their babies. I can understand many can feel pressured but a lot of people feel pressured to do many things and choose not to. And any agencies who threaten shouldn't be working in the field. I don't think placing your child for adoption is an act of not wanting your child most of the time, it is an act of love and wanting more for them.
@raffynjenny I understand that sometimes women may be pressured into placing their children for adoption and that sometimes adoptive parents may not be the best but sometimes natural parents do bad things, too.
Like, I said, adoptees have a right to feel pain at not knowing that part of them but adoptees do need to know they are loved not only by their adoptive parents, but by their birth parents also.
@simplyforgiven this is what happens the majority of the time, i'm sorry if the truth bothers but truth is truth, the agencies main objective is to get that baby and then make money off the child fee's etc. this is truth, girls are scared sure they see crisis pregnancy and think they will get helped what really happens is they get convinced they should give up the child, I speak the truth, you say you are a believer I am also as God to show you the truth he will. Adoptions are complex.
@jesaintlouis Please dont feel frustrated. You are doing a wonderful thing and will it bring much happiness to your child's and your own lives. I was adopted in the sixties, my adopted parents split when I was 4. The bond I had with my adopted mother was the strongest Ive ever had with anyone and feel so so so lucky.
in 1970 i lost my daughter. at the time it was spose to be the only solution. i just hope that so many many of adopted persons could understand the loss that the mother feels.
and believe me it gets worse and worse.
but it can be hard to 'come out.'
i did miss everything. and the enitre 35 years i missed my daughter ever minute of every day. i'm so sorry you suffered so. why are their so many myths regarding adoption? who is it for? who does it help?
Your video made me cry. I am adoptee too and I often felt like you but I still looking for my biological family because I desire to know the truth. In my country the law protects the anonymity of the biological parents and it's very difficult to access data, and if they have been expunged it's impossible to know anything until after a hundred years from your birth! Many are struggling to change things,and I realize that whatever the nationality, language and culture,feelings are rather the same
I was taken from my birth mother because she wasn't fit to be a mother she had drug addiction, and alcohol abuse while she was pregnant with me, she tried getting me back so many times she kept getting rejected, and she had to give up. I'd say adoption has had a major impact on me, but we gotta keep moving on with life and hope for the best. Good luck to all my fellow adoptees.
@dodgerman16 Are you 100 percent positive she had these problems? I ask because there seems to be a trend of myths and lies being spread about our firstmothers that first mothers were drug addicted , whores,didn't want baby, or she was mentally ill,it's a stigma and the real truth for most is they were coerced by the agencies,brokers, lawyers etc.I dont know your story , I hope you find her and ask her, most born to addiction/alcohol dont they usually suffer severe birth defects such as FAS?
I wish I had been aborted. Adoptive brother finally admitted to molesting me as a child. Adoption is not the only solution for abandoned/unwanted children.
@7wildorchid7 I am so sorry that happened to you and you're right there is permanent guardianship, kinship care, that would allow a child to keep their heritage, their name , their real birth certificate unaltered, medical info and ancestry which would be a part of heritage so making a family tree would be much easier and it would be a true one. Unfortunately what happened to you happens in non-adoptive families also. Have you searched for your first mother? You may want to
I know who my real family is. Thats all that I care about. People in usa are fucking stupid. I hope people around me that read this know whats up or move away from this area. I dont want anything to do with you if you cant even tell me whats going on.
For this change to happen. IT BEGINS WITH YOU! I already done my part. And Im not doing this ever again, not even for usa.
Supposivly Im Portugal or have Scotland in my blood with Mesopotamian. Its kinda stupid but not what you think.
DarkPrinceNH5570 3 days ago
Im adopted, never met my real family, been blown up and screwed by usa and fed lies and told it was the Iraqi people and that whole thing about many deaths thing in life which yeah. Been hooked up with a tranny and never knew when Im straight. I basically been to hell and back. And people want me who was a ADOPTED and fed lies while society bashes me about being foreign actually CARE for usa? I wasnt born in usa, GENTLE SHEPHERD agency was behind this (part of catholic church in usa).
DarkPrinceNH5570 3 days ago
No one cares about me which I really dont care. They expect me to CARE for them when its their move to GIVE ME MY INHERITANCE? Watch me leave the usa and do something. Im beginning to think women have mental issues along with men in society if they cant tell me whats going on. I hear voices in my head as if they put something in me like a "DEVICE" or tracker. They think my biggest concern is getting laid? No its not. Thats all guys care about I guess in usa. Im not like regular MEN on earth
DarkPrinceNH5570 3 days ago
My adoption parents are a disgrace. Nothing but LIES and was in the media like the illuminatis doing. People already know who I am what I did for usa and society still trys to fuck me over which I think is kinda funny. I cut myself off from my adoption family due to them not being able to CONFESS to me in person but instead live lies to me. I know who my real family is and I heard rumors about it too at young age about them killed in a accident which I couldnt find or ask about.
DarkPrinceNH5570 3 days ago
These are all the same questions an emotions I struggle with everyday. Thanks you so much for this video it's comforting to know I'm not the only one with feeling like these.
arizonaadams 1 month ago
To all the heartless people on here who have absolutely no clue what an adoptee goes through, do some research before putting the video creator down.
As an adoptee myself and having children who were taken forcefully, and adopted out I know all too well the "hell" some go through. I was put in foster care at a very young age, my real father abused us in all ways he possibly could. Foster families nearly drowned my sister, beat us etc.
whaitekahukura 1 month ago
our adoptive family always threw it in our faces how grateful we should be, yet she beat us with leather belts, made my sister eat her own vomit and many more very abusive treatment. The system fails children like my sister and I every day. We are lucky to have made it out alive, though often up until recently (the last few years) I didn't think I was so lucky to be alive. Many adoptees would rather have been aborted never knowing the suffering we have gone through...
whaitekahukura 1 month ago
Don't judge this person, you know not how adoption and abandonment loss affects a person, we all deal with it differently.
whaitekahukura 1 month ago
We never "move past" being adopted but we learn to live with it.
dinochickforever 1 month ago
If you had been my child, I would tell you that the process of losing you to adoption was the most traumatic event in my life, and I have worried and grieved for you ever since. You will always be a part of me. I'm sorry for your pain and feeling of abandonment! I never gave you away; I lost you due to coercion and being abandoned myself. I wanted to bring you up as mine; I wasn't allowed.
nanapatlee 1 month ago
@gangstaunicorns16 My mother is adopted and my biologic father ran out on us, so I only know one blood relative. If this bitch hates her life so much she should just kill herself already.
sjkobold 1 month ago
Thank you. This has helped me with a lot of my feelings.
gangstaunicorns16 1 month ago
This is beautiful! As an adoptee myself, the sentiments you expressed really hit home with me. I now work at reuniting adoptees and birth parents as it helps to bring about a lot of healing on both sides. It did with me when I found my birth mother about 8 months ago.
mission2Reunite 1 month ago in playlist More videos from pyrotechnataca
@ErinnE3 why cause i called her an ungrateful little brat? She is presenting herself in such a manner it is probably true. Her mother could have had an abortion, and her adoptive parents would have had a better child. Just saying she should be grateful to have been chosen by a family that loves her. Versus living with a mother that didn't want her.
sjkobold 2 months ago
@sjkobold If you aren't adopted you don't know what it's like so just keep your comments to yourself.
gangstaunicorns16 1 month ago
Wow you seem like an ungrateful little brat. I wish to god my mother would have given me up for adoption, instead I was abused and neglected. Once I was old enough to STEAL FOOD, I was able to eat regularly. So just remember what could have happened if your birth parent kept you.
sjkobold 2 months ago
@sjkobold You'd think that would make you more empathetic to the pain of others. NO ONES pain should be thrown back in their face, everyone feels, not just you. Wow, how horrible to say what you said.
ErinnE3 2 months ago
Hope I'm not bothering anyone here, but I'm hopeful someone can help me.
I've probably watched this video well over 100 times by now, and I have a question...
What is the name of this song, who sings it, and is the song available to download or purchase?
I am 49 years old, and found my family 21 years ago when I was 28.
The song touches on what I felt inside for so long, and often really still do. I'd really love to have this song.
Advice to adoptee's out there... Never lose the hope =)
markisb62 2 months ago
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markisb62 2 months ago
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mark1tex 2 months ago
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please go to my page and look for the link to change.org to sign my petition to have records unsealed for adoptees.
TheTravelfool 3 months ago
I can not have a child with my husband and that hurts me so very badly I am possessed by the thought of it every moment of every day and I know I am not alone. I would never want to cause anyone else pain. I was an orphan and I think I would rather have been adopted and loved than rejected and never adopted as was the case for me. I know there are alot of people like me that truly want to love children and are ok with helping them through the separation process of adoption.
jtofragoso 4 months ago
I was adopted and I have felt the feeling of being rejected but I think this is a little too selfish. The mothers had good reasons, and I'm glad I was given up for adoption rather than aborted. I was adopted from china, which has strict child laws, I have felt rejected when thinking about if I had been a boy my mother may have kept me, but she gave me life. And it's not only hard on us, but also on our mothers. Think about it, they sacrificed having a child, to give us better lives.
Gymnasticspenguin96 6 months ago
Aylofcoes FUCK YOU you don't know what its like I feel the same way cuz im adopted an you obviously don't live in complete poverty cuz your on YouTube or is that because you waste all your money an keep the credit card debt goin?
mattmaggot95 6 months ago
those welfare mothers people constantly put down without thinking why those women are there to begain with. Or young scare women will abort. Any woman who choses adoption does it out of pure love. Not cause they child isnt wanted or loved. Until your in a birthmothers shoes, or at least try to put yourself there, you cant possible know the pain. I cry myself to sleep at night knowing I wont Know this child. everynight. goodluck to you selfish self centered people.
AlyaofCoES 6 months ago
I didnt get through the first 2 minutes of this and I just want to say SHAME on you! I im currently carrying a child I cant give a good life to. I live in complete poverty and already have two girls I cant hardly do right by. I made the choice that this child deserves better then this. I have found this little girl a wonderful family that will love her so much. But really.....posting this video will more likely stear women to keeping a child they shouldnt. they will end up unhappy and one
AlyaofCoES 6 months ago
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mark1tex 2 months ago
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@AlyaofCoES You say, "I found wonderful family that will love her so much."
It shows great love finding a caring home for your baby. I understand the pain of your sacrifice. However try to understand the video isn't about putting down birth-mothers, it's about what we who have been adopted TRULY feel within us. A never-ending feeling of being alone. It touches on the real pain of that in a caring way.
We understand, but still we hope, we wait, and we forever love our mom.. For Eternity...
markisb62 2 months ago
Al Those Who Are Adopted THUMBS UP :) because i dont know about you but i am happy to be with the family i got now even if i have my ups and downs x
supermarwee98 7 months ago
Oh please get over yourself. We all deal with pain and loss. By the list of things you did, it sounds like you had a very nice childhood. If you had not been adopted and had a horrible life you might feel a lot different. The grass is always greener eh
brentwithani 8 months ago
@brentwithani Are you adopted?
TheRaGiTe 8 months ago
Thank you for being so open and honest. I came on to read what ppl were saying re adoption and what i read disturbed me and made me sad. Can I jus say...I am a mother of three, 2 birth, 1 adopted. I have raised them equally, love them the same, and bestowed all rights & privileges equal to all three children. If anything we spoil her 'cause she is absolutely our adored little princess. I cannot imagine the devastation to our other children, my husband, our extended families who love her (o
TarshBT 9 months ago
Giving a child up or having them taken causes severe spiritual rape. It tears up your soul.The gov took my grandchildren and lied about me in court giving them to two gay men. I have a rage and a sorrow that only God knows, Do my grandchildren have a clue they are on my mind every minute of every day? Do you think their gay surrogate dads let them know I want a visit they refuse? NEVER assume you know the truth because gov agents lie, steal, cheat and destroy families needlessly everyday
sunflowerinthemist 9 months ago
Honestly, are you sure CPS didn't remove you and sell you for title IV funds? Better find out the truth. Your Mom is out there thinking about you EVERYDAY regardless.
sunflowerinthemist 9 months ago
Thank you for posting your thoughts. Going to watch part two now. I hope you might take the time to look at the video above, Remember Dottye. Thanks~
WendyBarkett 9 months ago
@openupfresh That was an awesome movie. :)
pyrotechnataca 9 months ago
Adoptionen sind schreicklich.
ich wurde Adoptiert es wurde mir heute gesagt, mein herz ist gebrochen weil sie mich angelogen haben, 14 jahre lang
Sternchrisful 9 months ago
anybody considering adoption needs to watch this video. your "children" will never truly love you or give a damn about you no matter how you love them and sacrifice for them. Don't be a sucker.
GasparJaspar 10 months ago
@emybabe01 ...Wow are you backwards. First and foremost, your heart should be breaking for all of the adoptees who have to live and grow up feeling this way.
Secondly, your heart should be breaking for all the parents relinquishing children because they have no other choice, because they are not given the full support of society to raise their children.
ptork66 10 months ago
I feel the same way as the person who made this video. That's just the way it is
autumn01113 10 months ago
This is sad, I think adoption is a wonderful thing. This video breaks my heart for the adoptive parents, because they love this child just as much as a birth parent would, and this child is crying because the people that made it couldn't keep him/her? Sure, his/her creators weren't there for all that, but their PARENTS sure were. Parents are the people that raised you, fed you, loved you, and made you who you are today. It would break my heart if I adopted a child that made this kind of video.
emybabe01 11 months ago
@emybabe01 So you are unfit to adopt ever, adoptees have no duty to feel grateful, certainly not if they do not know the alternative. If you are adopted, without your signature, you should be free to fight, cancel, disrupt, destroy and otherwise nullify the adoption you never wanted, it should be your choice to make yourself unadopted and reclaim your birthright, how little that may be.
ThW5 10 months ago
@ThW5 Amen as it should be
raffynjenny 9 months ago
@emybabe01 Nannies do the same things that you just described, that doesn't make them a parent though, you are deceived and truly misguided, you have the typical mindset of entitlement and fantasy of an adopter so sad that a poor child is used to make the adopter feel good and feel like a real parent and then expected to have gratitude towards them and loyalty, Real parents are not like this and do not have this mindset, typical though adopters or pap, thinking about themselves + guilt tripping
raffynjenny 9 months ago
abortion would have been definitly been better than being adopted by people that beat you screamed at you for 16 years and sexualy asalted you so the adoption agencys can make money making us [ non people ] and illegal to be alive people
they dont want to abort disabled fetuses because they can make money for 60 years taking care of the people while they suffer
fredheidrick 11 months ago
@fredheidrick You got that right, it's all about money and entitlement that is sickening
raffynjenny 11 months ago
I'm so sorry. It is wrong for us to place our babies fo adoption. They told us that you would be grateful and by time so many of us stopped beleiing them, it was too late.
One of the hardest and most horrifing things I ever had to do was realize that the act of reliquishment that was to save my son from pain, could have actually contributed to it and, in truth, increased his load to carry.
No one would choose an enterniy of this for any of us..but especially not our babies.
FauxClaud 11 months ago
Thanks - you put into media what so many of us feel...
498332 11 months ago
Thank you for this video. I gave my daughter up for adoption and pray every night that she was kept safe from the things so many respondants of your video have. You are right as Birth mothers we do miss out on all of the moments that we should have been there for. I can only hope that she didn't have to feel this way. For nineteen and a half years I wondered if she felt this way too. I see now my fears are a possibility. Thank you for this video.
PoeticJustice73 1 year ago
I concurr. Everyone, especially if the adoptee did not have a good experience, ought to be heard. My heart goes out to you. Absolutely no one is to tell you how to feel. Ideallly in an adopton, both parties complete each other. I wonder if it would have been wiser for those adopted an early age who couldn't possibly have memories of it, to have been told at all?
Pupunch10 1 year ago
Thank you for this video.You said what I was feeling all these years but didn't have the words to say it. It's hard to explain it and talk to other people about my feelings about being adopted because they don't understand or blow it off and say how wonderful adoption is. Yes I'm grateful for my adopted parents raising me but I'm still empty inside and have lots of questions.
kll510 1 year ago
Just heard the description of Charlie Gilmour, Cenotaph-climbing student protester, as 'Pink Floyd's David Gilmour's adopted' son,BBC radio news headlines, maybe other bulletins too) and I am still baffled as to why the fact of his adoption is considered an issue and a factor worth highlighting. Is he in some way defined or different by being adopted? Like having red hair in the UK, is being adopted considered weird and worthy of pointing at? This may not make sense to non-adopted people.
twobirdsatswim 1 year ago
I'm and adoptee as well and while i had a good adoption my brother didnt he suffers from abandonment issues because of it (it didn't help that when he met his birth mom she told him she never wanted to see him again b/c he wasn't what she expected in other words hes to much like her) i feel for all of those who didn't have a good adoption! ppl need to know it doesnt always work and sometimes theres nothing you can do about it look at my bro and me raised in the same home, two different results
Rika4Life 1 year ago
Even though you don't know me, my heart is with you. I love your videos. Thank you
mysweetpekingese 1 year ago
wait im confused why did it say you didnt stop the abuse and show a picture of autism awareness ?
br4ndilee 1 year ago
look on facebook and myspace if you have your birthparents names, thats where i found mine
charleneANDhannah 1 year ago
I've had a good life with my adoptive parents, but it doesn't stop me from thinking about my bmom. Just curious about what she thinks....
Nice vid.
I posted a video response. I hope you accept it. It is a song to my Bmom simply asking her if she misses me and that I miss her.
JennNikole 1 year ago
I am so sorry of you r pain. I am an adoptive Mother. My husband and myself have adopted 6 children and have fostered over 20. I could not imagine not having my children. Not for one minute. I guess my situation is different because the birth-parents didn't give up their children...they abused them horribly instead. We will spend the rest of our lives trying to right the wrong they did. Blessings to you all.
mommyofmany7 1 year ago
I don't know your pain. I am a birth mother in open adoption. His adoptive parents are the parents i wish my parents were like. Thankfully the adoptive parents are willing to tell my son that I love him. I miss him every day of my life. I want so much for him that I can't give him. I've grown up unhappy and with regret for what my mom can't give me. I know it must be hard for you to understand but a mother loves her child more than anyone can imagine. Birth mothers live with the pain everyday
iammarymaryiam 1 year ago
Thank you for making this video! The adoptee voice is one that is often ignored or brushed off. Please know your pain is real and legitimate.
I am not adopted, so I will never know your pain. However, I am a birth mother... So I know the pain of being separated from your child (though I've been blessed with an open adoption). Have you tried searching for your birth mother? Also, have you thought about counseling, or journaling? Both can be very helpful with processing grief
ashleighastn 1 year ago
Im 13 yrs old, adopted, and crying rite now because this is almost exactly how i feel
XxxEevlcKitteexxX 1 year ago
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You can´t choose the circumstances that you live (or born) but you can choose what think or do about it. you decides the attitude. Try psycotherapy. Hugs.
3010Richard 1 year ago
You can´t choose the circumstances that you live (or born) but you can choose what think or do about it. you decides the attitude. Try psycotherapy. Hug.
3010Richard 1 year ago
i was adopted im grown now. my adoptive mother was a raving lunatic, probably still is . i was adopted from greece during the black market scandal.
the unbalanced women paid more to adopt
The most abuse is suffered from adopted and foster children. not to mention the touchy,feeley hands from adoptive fathers who probably wouldn't feel up their biological children, that is if they could have any in the first pace.
GreekGypsy 1 year ago
By the time I was five I was thrown away 5 times, The last place they took me because none of the adoption agencies would let them have a real kid so they had to take me instead. Life was horrible.
Msakaalbany 1 year ago
This song is beautiful and sad....
I was adopted and am in a very good home. I feel secure and loved and am happy. I know I wouldn't have the opportunities I have now either. Although I love my parents very much, I still do think about my birthmother. I wrote a song to her called Dear Jane. I will send as a video response and hopefully it will be accepted. If not, go to my channel and find it. Leave me comments.
JennNikole 1 year ago
@JennNikole Most adoptees would have been happier with their natural families. Child welfare experts know this now, and oppose stranger adoption. They advocate keeping mothers and babies together whenever possible and kinship care when neither parent can safely raise their child. The vast majority of infant adoptions resulted from fraud and coercion. Holland recently banned domestic infant adoptions. Experts in more enlightened countries are appalled by American adoption practices.
asynkronos 1 year ago
@asynkronos Actual statistics (with references) would be welcome here. As opposed to terms that you pull out of the air like "most" and "the vast majority". My niece and nephew were adopted through foster care because their biological mother neglected and abused them. But I'm sure they would have been MUCH happier if they had been left to her tender care....
slchandl 1 year ago
Thank you for this video, you put it so beautifully, the pain of being adopted. It is not a popular view to express, but it really helped me today to hear someone else express it....I will save this and watch it again when adoptee sadness hits me...<3
sonjato 1 year ago
There is one who loves you more, than an earthly mother or father ~ remember, they missed your life. Some unable to be helped, others, no excuse. God Bless!
donnamarienoble 1 year ago
Statistically speaking, no one is more capable of cruelty towards children than biological parents. I know it's not as dramatic sounding (and won't make a tear-jerker youtube video), but most adoptions worldwide are very successful.
slchandl 1 year ago
maby ask adoptees that arnt brainwashed all there lives, if you can find any?
mrsndog 1 year ago
@slchandl Not true. Children are at much higher risk of being abused and killed by adopters, foster carers and step-parents than by their natural parents. "Adoption professionals" don't know or care what happened to the millions of parents and children they separated over the last 75 years, no more than you do. They allow adopters to masquerade as natural parents to hide their crimes, so we're blamed for them. They lie for a living and rake in billions selling babies for adoption.
asynkronos 1 year ago
@asynkronos You are jaded and ignorant. How sad.
slchandl 1 year ago
@asynkronos Cold, hard facts:
*There are 3,000,000 reports of child abuse and neglect each year
*88% of child maltreatment occurred in the victim’s home
*83% of the maltreaters were the child’s biological parent
*13% of the maltreaters were a non-biological parent, other relative, or live-in boyfriend or girlfriend of the parent
Source: Ga. Department of Human Resources, Division of Family and Children Services
slchandl 1 year ago
I have been adopted too, I think is better to be adoptee in own country than around the world you will miss something even after grown up
gikcp34 1 year ago
This video is naive and desperate.
VinnyCons 1 year ago
@VinnyCons No, people like you only wish it were. You can't justify the abuse and exploitation of loving mothers in adoption so try to discredit us. We've heard every lying insult in the book and then some. Your willful ignorance and lack of empathy are showing. Have you been diagnosed with a character disorder? Many people who adopt babies have serious mental health problems. They're hostile, defensive and immature. They project like crazy on the children's real mothers.
asynkronos 1 year ago
@asynkronos Wow, all that for my lil comment? You're very angry and can only see what you want to see. You seem pretty naive and desperate too.
VinnyCons 1 year ago
@VinnyCons Who are you to invalidate another human beings feelings , you are no one to do such a thing, these feelings expressed are the feelings of the expresser not you not your feelings. Didn't your mama teach to if you have nothing nice to say or can't relate to say nothing at all, you know not what you speak of.
raffynjenny 11 months ago
@raffynjenny Its ok to disagree.
VinnyCons 11 months ago
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nearly all moms who surrendered did so because they were given no choice. They were told if they really loved their baby, they would. I begged to keep and they told me if I didn't agree to give her up I would not be allowed to see her any more. It is emotional torture ALL OUR LIVES!!!! thank you making this video. You are an angel.
nadeseh 1 year ago
nearly all moms who surrendered did so because they were given no choice. They were told if they really loved their baby, they would. I begged to keep and they told me if I didn't agree to give her up I would not be allowed to see her any more. It is emotional torture ALL OUR LIVES!!!! thank you making this video. You are an angel.
nadeseh 1 year ago
@nadeseh This is TRUTH one that is ignored and doesn't want to be heard nor believed but it is truth
raffynjenny 11 months ago
this hurts for me too see this the state stold my children i never gave them up and yes the were truly wanted and i plan them this is so sad i hope that the state does not brainwash my children too think a horrble thing as this!!!
bearred7able 1 year ago
Thank you for this. I can't tell you how many times I have been totally attacked when I discuss adoption online. Nobody wants to hear our sad stories. Nobody cares that I was abused, because MOST adoptees aren't. Nobody cares that I lived in an unstable, stressful environment, because MOST adoptees don't. Nobody cares that I wasn't grateful to be adopted, because I should just be thankful that I wasn't aborted. Bull. You didn't have to live my life.
Thank you for being our voice.
lifescholar 1 year ago
@lifescholar Thanks for your comment and understanding. I wish you all the best in your life, feel free to send me a message if you'd like!
pyrotechnataca 1 year ago
@lifescholar it's about learning from it, i've been attacked on here, i've been told i'm nothing more then a slave bought like a toaster at kmart, i was fortunate to be adopted, as my birth father was a rapist, my mother was 12, mentally unstable, so yeah, i was lucky, but nothing was perfect. your experiences are what make you strong, the harder they try to knock you down just keep proving it's impossible to keep you down, hopefully, because of the crap, you will be an amazing parent one day.
xXxXBleedPurpleXxXx 1 year ago
@xXxXBleedPurpleXxXx I definitely have learned from it. I have two kids, and am taking the good things from my childhood and doing the opposite of the bad. Truth be told, my kids probably wouldn't even be here yet if I hadn't had such a hard childhood!
But, I know lots of great parents who had great childhoods, too. So I don't think I am grateful to have had that experience.
lifescholar 1 year ago
@lifescholar i don't know, i guess coming from the situation i came from being grateful is all i have to offer my parents at this point. both ends, grateful she gave me up, which she did, ppl bitch about ppl saying that because they like to sugarcoat it and say nooo they didn't give you uppp they gave you liiife, no lol they give you up for that better life, but it is in fact giving a child up, and grateful i had wonderful ppl who wanted to raise me. everyones situation is diff i say the same
xXxXBleedPurpleXxXx 1 year ago
@xXxXBleedPurpleXxXx I'm totally with ya! Even my siblings I would say were lucky. Even though our home had its problems, they came from worse situations. And any of us could have ended up in foster care forever....
For me, I know my natural parents, and I feel like I really missed out by not being with them. I never really had a Dad until I was reunited with my natural father. He is the father I always dreamed of!
lifescholar 1 year ago
@lifescholar thing to people who come from abusive homes, who then are abusive, have to look them in the face and say you know what it feels like, don't use the "cycle" excuse, take what happened to you, and vow to never treat another human that way. i don't know ahhh i'm no therapist, just very opinionated haha.
xXxXBleedPurpleXxXx 1 year ago
@lifescholar I hear you. And, you're right. Everyone wants to believe that adoption is this beautiful thing. Every time I hear that, I want to puke. You had a right to be raised by your real mother. I'm sure she was a victim of the system just like you were.God Bless you. Those who separate mothers and children will get theirs one day if I have anything to do with it. I was abused by the system more than 20 years ago. Adoption and CPS criminals are the reason I have decided to go to law school.
eyeswideopen1993 1 year ago
@lifescholar
Not all of these stories are sad. All of them tug at the heart, but many of the stories are miraculous. Everybody's got their something.
Jera781 1 year ago
@lifescholar The words that hyou have stated here are exactly what my situation was. You are the only adoptee that I know that also says this. YAY. I lived in HELL.
TuesdaysGone18 1 year ago
@lifescholar Thank you for UR reply to the post I was not grateful to be adopted either. Now 41, I have met my biological mother.I was not impressed at all.She showed no emotion, And she has not showed any love toward me since we met. The people that adopted me are crazy.I have zero contact with them.I can't tell which feels lonelier:Having met her, or not having met her.I was so angry,I want to scream at her:Thanks for sending me to HE**. Ok no you didn't say that part at all. But I do.
TuesdaysGone18 1 year ago
@lifescholar we care ..... many were abused ......yes we care om mother life force
fredheidrick 11 months ago
i was also adopted, but my story is kinda different but the same, my mom told me that my parents were very young and that my mother didnt want me but my father did. i once met my biological father when i was 7. that was the last time bc my father committed suicide because of our adoption i suffer daily, and it is very painful and most people dont know the pain we all go through............
devi7150 1 year ago
@devi7150 I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that, that must be really hard for you. It's unfortunate that we pay for the choices other people make. But they pay for them too. Thank you for sharing that and if you ever want to write and talk, just send me a message.
pyrotechnataca 1 year ago
why did it show autism awareness?
br4ndilee 1 year ago
@br4ndilee because my adoptive parents thought I was autistic for a few years because I didn't speak or smile when I was little.
pyrotechnataca 1 year ago
this really spoke to me. my parents told me i was adopted when i was very little. of course i was young. i really didnt think about it much. but transitioning into the 7th grade ive though about it everyday. and im heading into highschool again. from the 7th grade ive been suffering from deppression. my parents also adopted my sister. but hers was an open adoption. and i had to go with her to her birth mothers house. and watch her hug her birth mother. i feel alone. and disconnected.
Mrbungles1 1 year ago
@Mrbungles1 I totally understand what you're going through. I was put up for adoption but my birth mom kept my older sister and it's been weird since I found her a few years ago seeing them together. I don't have a bond with them. Although that whole situation is quite complicated. :S Such is life.
pyrotechnataca 1 year ago
i wasnt adopted instead my mother left me in an apartment when i was three years old luckley my granparents where there to get me out of there i havenet senn my mother in 4 years my mother likes men more then me i dont ever want to see her again as long as i live and somtimes i wish i was adopted
miley396455 1 year ago
@miley396455 i also see my father but i live with my grandparents
miley396455 1 year ago
@miley396455 I'm sorry that your mother has chosen others over you, that must be very painful. *hug*
pyrotechnataca 1 year ago
I was adopted too this almost made me cry... You never really know why you were put up for adoption... my mom always told me that my birth mother was young and single and just didnt have the money to take care of a child AND herself... im thankful that she didnt try to raise me i could be living in a horrible condition right now but instead i have a really nice life.
Punkette151617 1 year ago
((hugs)). I'm an adoptee too. Abortion and adoption have very little to do with one another, yet people throw it in our faces constantly. It's hurtful, ignorant and rude when they do that. Keep on speaking out. Instead of telling you how to feel about being adopted, others need to stop and listen to you because YOU are the one who has lived it.
IheartNovember 1 year ago
@IheartNovember Thank you for your comment! I really appreciate it!
pyrotechnataca 1 year ago
@IheartNovember You're so right. What most adoptees are subjected to is nothing less than child abuse. My first child was taken for adoption by fraud and coercion when I was 17. Most of us could have had legal abortions even before Roe v. Wade, but chose not to because we loved our babies and intended to raise them. We didn't bring them into the world so infertile strangers could adopt them. Our unconditional love for them was turned against us. Nothing justifies this cruelty.
asynkronos 1 year ago
@IheartNovember the only thing the same about both are they are way to deal with a unwanted baby but thats where it ends abortion is killing and adoption can bring a new life that nice also i'm adoptee too and thats a cheep card to play when auguring to a adopted person for there are comebacks to that
Avatarfan10000 1 year ago
why cant I post
nadeseh 1 year ago
I can only help you if you email me directly at adoptionhealing
Martu49 1 year ago
I can help you with your pain if you email me and come to my nightly chat
joe at adoptionhealing
Martu49 1 year ago
Wonderful video and wonderful introduction to it. I can totally relate.
Thanks for posting it.
YTfancol 1 year ago
@YTfancol Thank you for your kind comment, I appreciate you watching the video!
pyrotechnataca 1 year ago
you know I am commenting on this because what this video shows is that you are disturbed by the fact that your mother placed you for adoption...just know she loved you enough to give you life!
heavensentprincess1 1 year ago
@heavensentprincess1 I know that she loved me enough to give me life, but that doesn't change the fact that I miss her and wish I had her in my life. There are a lot of emotions that go through you when working through being adopted. It's rough and a work in process for a lot of people.
pyrotechnataca 1 year ago
@heavensentprincess1 And if it helps, I posted a more recent video that speaks from where I am at now. Take it or leave it, doesn't matter to me
pyrotechnataca 1 year ago
I can help.
you need to email me directly joe soll at adoption healing dot com
or go to my adoptionhealing website and email me from there
joe:)
Martu49 1 year ago
@Martu49 Thank you for your resources, I appreciate you watching my videos.
pyrotechnataca 1 year ago
I agree you missed every thing and you didn't stop the pain. No matter how much we try to denie it there will always be PIAN
marza60 1 year ago
@marza60 Your comment was very true and I appreciate you writing it. The pain is real and should be allowed to be felt. Not to stay in the pain, but to work through it and find some positive in it.
pyrotechnataca 1 year ago
I miss my sister. Sisy if you are out there Find Me =(
marza60 1 year ago
email me for support and resources... joesoll at adoptionhealing dot com
Martu49 1 year ago
@Martu49
can you help me get over my adoption problome? I really miss my sisy and i feel like she is missing everything in my life. I am 14 now and got taken away at 4 years old
marza60 1 year ago
@marza60 I can listen to your story. Please send me a message, my thoughts are with you. You will make it through this! Maybe start writing her letters, then when you do meet her one day, she won't have missed anything.
pyrotechnataca 1 year ago
Thank you for making this. I'm a 33yr old male adoptee found out only recently I was adopted. My wounds are so deep even deeper cause I never got along with my adoptive parents I was abused emotionally by them...as a teenager I attempted suicide. All I can say is Thank you mom for giving birth to me.
franselse 1 year ago
@franselse me and you are so alike,i am just a female and also 33!the emotion abuse als almost killed me!!!!!!!!!!!!thank god i have what to live for today ,my kids!!!!!!!!
adoptionisrael 1 year ago
I feel so alone and I wish I could see my Mom's face and hug and kiss her just once.. Mom I love you, I just want one look at you. I understand that you had problems but I just miss you so much.
gorkonian 1 year ago
Amazing job! All I can do is cry watching this. Thank you for making this!
Goldenstar3535 1 year ago
Her reply was, you would be put in a foster home and the odds of being set in a family with your baby would be less than 5 percent.The anger I had was just incredible. After looking for any way possible of keeping my unborn child, I found myself issolating myself and not wanting to live. It isn't easy for either party but my choice to give my child up for adoption wasn't easy. I know that any birthmother in this world would say the same thing.
MrsTammy94 1 year ago
Her reply was, you would be put in a foster home and the odds of being set in a family with your baby would be less than 5 percent.The anger I had was just incredible. After looking for any way possible of keeping my unborn child, I found myself issolating myself and not wanting to live. It isn't easy for either party but my choice to give my child up for adoption wasn't easy.
MrsTammy94 1 year ago
I am so sorry for your pain! I am a birthmother. I gave my son up for adoption when I was 16 years old. If I didn't comply with my parents wishes they would put me up to be a ward of the state. I looked into this to see if it was possible and found that yes it was. I could remember falling to the floor thinking please dear God help me! I turned then ask the social worker what would happen then if I had my baby and was a ward of the state.
MrsTammy94 1 year ago
how can you feel alone? You have many people who love you. Your birthmother loved you enough to understand she couldn't give you the life you deserved and your adoptive parents loved you so much they chose to give you that better life. I understand it can be disheartening to not know that part of you but you were given a lot in return. Trust me she loved you more than you can ever know
simplyforgiven 1 year ago
@simplyforgiven I have a question for you , are you an adoptive parent? Did you know it has been proven that it is not good to separate mother & baby, your comment reminds me some what of the be grateful guilt trip card pulled out on a lot of adoptese. You know American culture really has things backwards in family values, things and money are just that , things and money, other cultures got it right, life and sacred mother child natural relationship should always come before things and money
raffynjenny 11 months ago
@raffynjenny Raffy, no I am not an adoptive parent but plan to be. I have an adopted sister who met her birth parents and guess what, she met them once and never wanted to again. Maybe some people who put their children for adoption can take care of their child. But some can't be it financially or emotionally or physically. Sorry, but I don't think that someone on drugs should be caring for a child...Point blank. And some birth parents don't want to raise their child on welfare.
simplyforgiven 11 months ago
@simplyforgiven thanks for responding I can not find your other response about open adoptions, actually open adoptions is the new coercion the new lure used by agencies, open adoption is not enforceable by law, and once the adoption is finalized the adopters can do as they please with the child, 80% open adoptions close their doors on the natural parents, agencies , lawyers and brokers encourage adopters to lie to make false promises of openness to get what they want the baby, it's sick really
raffynjenny 11 months ago
@raffynjenny Well, it is unfortunate that those people are not honest but that doesn't mean that all adoptions are a bad thing. On this page are a select few of people who have been adopted. Not all are unhappy as your presume. I've met many people who are happy they were adopted, who love their parents and what they did. Trust me, most adoptive parents agree the costs are ridiculous. But unfortunately some birth mothers work the system.
simplyforgiven 11 months ago
@raffynjenny When I say some work the system, I'll give you an example. A women approached an agency about giving her baby for adoption. She seemed very committed and asked for only a biracial couple to adopt her baby. She asked the agency for money and living expenses which they paid her. They found my husband and I who are a biracial couple and suddenly she no longer wanted the adoption. She used the agency for money then when a family was found she backed away.
simplyforgiven 11 months ago
@raffynjenny We were never promised anything from her but it was awfully fishy. Anyways, the particular agency won't get that money back for helping this mother out. There are a lot of costs involved in the adoption process. And the agency workers have families, too. Most attended college and have degrees and they deserve to receive a salary too. While I think the costs are crazy, I do think there should be some cost involved. There would be even if you had birthed your own child.
simplyforgiven 11 months ago
@raffynjenny Unfortunately, not every situation is ideal but everything is done to try to make sure great homes are chosen. I think what you see as coercion is simply an agency trying to give birth mothers the facts they need to make the right decision for them. You make it sound like agencies go out and force girls to come and ask them about adoption but that is not the truth. Those girls go and inquire about adoption themselves and are given facts and advice so they can choose.
simplyforgiven 11 months ago
@raffynjenny And shame on your for saying most people who can't have children shouldn't have them anyways. There are many wonderful people who would make wonderful parents who are unable to have children. And not everyone adopts because they can't have children. As a believer in God, I truly believe some people are called to be adoptive parents. I feel I am.
simplyforgiven 11 months ago
@simplyforgiven excuse me can you please show me where I said people who can't have children shouldn't have them, as I don't recall saying such a thing!
raffynjenny 11 months ago
Comment removed
raffynjenny 11 months ago
@simplyforgiven I am on no pedestal as you accuse me of, I just happen to know what I am talking about, not saying you don't so please don't take that the wrong way, I researched and continue to research because I am going to be specializing in the field of family preservation, I wasn't looking to argue or make anyone upset , but to enlighten with the Honest to God truth. God bless you in your journey, also maybe check out adoptee blogs as well and first mothers blogs, book ,The Stork Market
raffynjenny 11 months ago
@raffynjenny You have berated people for their opinions and truth is subjective. There are few absolute truths in the world. And when it comes to emotions, there definately is no absolute truth. I know many people who have been adopted and only one of them has had issues with their adoption and it was because their birth mother gave her up and kept the rest of her sisters and brothers. I will agree with you on one thing though. Adopted children should know they are adopted.
simplyforgiven 11 months ago
@simplyforgiven ok this is my last response to you , I have berated no one not one,again I do know what I am talking about , adoption is an industry a multi-billion dollar industry,it's a business, just take a look around, child trafficking ,adoptions scams in Guatemala, Marshall Islands and on and on, the BSE era is another example ,Adoption is shrouded in secrecy and lies starting with birth certificate.God honors no lies please do not be fooled,I am done, God Bless you on your journey
raffynjenny 11 months ago
@raffynjenny Keeping that from them only causes resentment when they get older. Information should not be cut off because as you said, it is important for a person to know their background. Medical records should be able to be accessed and names should be kept so when that child is an adult, if contact wasn't maintained throughout their life, they can find their birth family if they so choose.
simplyforgiven 11 months ago
@raffynjenny You can have your opinion but don't come on here berating mine or others. I simply said in the beginning that adoptees have many people who love them. People who sacrificed for them. It was simply an encouragement. So get off your pedestal. You don't know every situation or every circumstance.
simplyforgiven 11 months ago
@simplyforgiven wow never claimed to be on any pedestal and didn't berate, simply asked a question wow
raffynjenny 11 months ago
@simplyforgiven adoptions are complex, I am mainly speaking about infant adoptions, the majority of girls are coerced and pressured and even threatened i.e keep your baby and will need to pay all expenses etc threats like that , there are a few that really don't want their child. Adoption separation is damaging to both mother and child after birth and is life long please look up Nancy Verrier on here she is an adoptive mother and specialist, Google Origins Australia,
raffynjenny 11 months ago
@raffynjenny Most birth mothers would like to keep their children but out of an act of complete selflessness choose adoption for their babies. I can understand many can feel pressured but a lot of people feel pressured to do many things and choose not to. And any agencies who threaten shouldn't be working in the field. I don't think placing your child for adoption is an act of not wanting your child most of the time, it is an act of love and wanting more for them.
simplyforgiven 11 months ago
@raffynjenny I understand that sometimes women may be pressured into placing their children for adoption and that sometimes adoptive parents may not be the best but sometimes natural parents do bad things, too.
Like, I said, adoptees have a right to feel pain at not knowing that part of them but adoptees do need to know they are loved not only by their adoptive parents, but by their birth parents also.
simplyforgiven 11 months ago
@simplyforgiven this is what happens the majority of the time, i'm sorry if the truth bothers but truth is truth, the agencies main objective is to get that baby and then make money off the child fee's etc. this is truth, girls are scared sure they see crisis pregnancy and think they will get helped what really happens is they get convinced they should give up the child, I speak the truth, you say you are a believer I am also as God to show you the truth he will. Adoptions are complex.
raffynjenny 11 months ago
this is so frustrating as a future adoptive father to see negative comments like some posted here.
jesaintlouis 1 year ago
@jesaintlouis Please dont feel frustrated. You are doing a wonderful thing and will it bring much happiness to your child's and your own lives. I was adopted in the sixties, my adopted parents split when I was 4. The bond I had with my adopted mother was the strongest Ive ever had with anyone and feel so so so lucky.
linnyhaha 1 year ago
your video is v. good. v sad.
in 1970 i lost my daughter. at the time it was spose to be the only solution. i just hope that so many many of adopted persons could understand the loss that the mother feels.
and believe me it gets worse and worse.
but it can be hard to 'come out.'
i did miss everything. and the enitre 35 years i missed my daughter ever minute of every day. i'm so sorry you suffered so. why are their so many myths regarding adoption? who is it for? who does it help?
so sorry
cw1980cw 1 year ago
I can relate to this letter.
I've mostly buried how being given away makes me feel. It's how I survived - by shutting down. Paid a price for this though.
But yes, as the letter says - Alone, Not wanted, Very sad. Those things don't go away, unless you admit them to yourself, & work past them honestly.
Because really nobody else you admit it to will know what you really mean.
"Why didn't you keep me?" indeed. Who gives away a four-year-old child, anyway?
But you have to accept to grow.
TubeFreakJonas 1 year ago
So true! Have to find our voices, talk to each other and speak out.
eagoodlife 1 year ago
I agree with you, Alone, not wanted, very sad........ and what else as adopted children............ But I growed, tks for posting your comment.
marylinmanson73 1 year ago
Your video made me cry. I am adoptee too and I often felt like you but I still looking for my biological family because I desire to know the truth. In my country the law protects the anonymity of the biological parents and it's very difficult to access data, and if they have been expunged it's impossible to know anything until after a hundred years from your birth! Many are struggling to change things,and I realize that whatever the nationality, language and culture,feelings are rather the same
speranzanatalia 2 years ago
I was taken from my birth mother because she wasn't fit to be a mother she had drug addiction, and alcohol abuse while she was pregnant with me, she tried getting me back so many times she kept getting rejected, and she had to give up. I'd say adoption has had a major impact on me, but we gotta keep moving on with life and hope for the best. Good luck to all my fellow adoptees.
dodgerman16 2 years ago
@dodgerman16 Are you 100 percent positive she had these problems? I ask because there seems to be a trend of myths and lies being spread about our firstmothers that first mothers were drug addicted , whores,didn't want baby, or she was mentally ill,it's a stigma and the real truth for most is they were coerced by the agencies,brokers, lawyers etc.I dont know your story , I hope you find her and ask her, most born to addiction/alcohol dont they usually suffer severe birth defects such as FAS?
raffynjenny 11 months ago
TEARS.....
POIGNIANT.
Absoloutely accurate...
Thank You.
ChrissaBunny 2 years ago
I wish I had been aborted. Adoptive brother finally admitted to molesting me as a child. Adoption is not the only solution for abandoned/unwanted children.
7wildorchid7 2 years ago
So, what is? the solution?
velouric 2 years ago
@7wildorchid7 I am so sorry that happened to you and you're right there is permanent guardianship, kinship care, that would allow a child to keep their heritage, their name , their real birth certificate unaltered, medical info and ancestry which would be a part of heritage so making a family tree would be much easier and it would be a true one. Unfortunately what happened to you happens in non-adoptive families also. Have you searched for your first mother? You may want to
raffynjenny 11 months ago
Can somebody tell me the name of the song? please?
velouric 2 years ago
we should call "adopters" , "enablers" and we should punish them.
everynightprom 2 years ago