RE: Conversations you will have a million times in your life

[steviebkhall]

What about food relief in smalia,kenya,pakistan .India ? I miss this old fuck .Yes dear !

[LIVEWIREshockedbya]

gotta go back and listen still laughting over the survey!!!!!HAHHAYHAAYHAYHAYH

[TheTRDproduction]

i got you a new one i been using alot SHIT ON THAT SHIT !

[Johnprime69]

LOL very funny!

[alexandreleverrier]

"I didn't rape her ! she came on to me !"

[naynaybayable]

lol some of it was funny but some of it was dumb

[thechurchofdave]

@naynaybayable Agreed :)

[kittywoodchipper666]

There need to be more people like you in the world. or the ones that aren't like you should shut the fuck up more.

[MrPonko]

You look irritating and you look like a Jew.

All your "jokes" were exactly the same thing. You're an obnoxious rude idiot that says "screw you" to everyone. Errrr... where's the comedy?

Lose some weight and go to the synanogue baldy.

[steviebkhall]

5 strars plus !Thanks, and have a nice springtime !

[Shindai]

Almost pissed myself at some of these, funny as hell

[Patriot16100]

"you know, there is a cure for your problem, it's called get the fuck away from me"

[macabreiceman]

I think my top one would probably be "You Magnificent Bastard!"

[cottonwhiskersuk]

John Goodman?

[kalebyay]

haha you sound like a voice-over guy for a video game or somehting you know?

[MsiJoe2]

Baird from GoW?

[linsplace]

hmmm are you sure were not related? Ha ha great vid dude my husband doesn't even wanna get me started on the F bombs somehow they just fall out of my mouth like a sailor on liberty LMBFBO!!!!!

[EmilyRThomas]

lmao, that was awomse !

[Shocktales]

crazy shit, i laughed so much man

[DrOman5596]

Hilarious!

[wolvoduggie]

your fucking funny :)

i thought i said fuck alot great video :D

[DynVec]

WOW ! You have a very nice voice ! You got my beard. :D

[SpartanArmy647]

ogod scary guy

[Okhaj]

4:57 made me laugh xd cool video

[RuthHare]

Wow. Ben Loka is sooo much better (i.e. funnier and smarter and better looking) than you are.

So basically the American version of 'Conversations I'll have a million times in my life' is all swearing, lying, misogyny, disrespectful comments about women, and stuff about jerking off and blowjobs.

'Figures', as some Americans say. A LOT.

N.B: Not sure 'blow me' counts as a conversation . . .

[PassionFruitJuice48]

shut up, its a joke get over it

[RuthHare]

PassionFruitJuice48: fuck you!

[warca914]

you are a fuckn loser-this anoyed the shit out of me u sound like a fuckn prick.

[sunnygirly2k4]

Funniest video I've seen on Youtube so far - I was laughing so hard, I nearly had a asthma attack:D

[germandude76]

the survey line...oh my gosh...i am still laughing....hard to type though....

[germandude76]

love it !!!

[sisyphusorianus9787]

That survey line had me dyin' Dave! LOL

[lukearoo]

wear a shirt!

[Mastergamer2008]

you remind me of my friend dude you are so funny dude.

[ghaly2]

ugly son of a cheap bitch

[irenca123]

yeah, you and what hore house

[VampSilver]

You truly are an awful character.

[kylarobbins]

then y watch his video

[Luke1337]

*awesome

[flavour54]

Fuck you're funny. Fuck, I don't normally swear a lot:)

5 stars and faved.

[JDBlessin]

Fuck Myspace. lmao

[OzhanTabibi]

its not that u dont get american comedy, but that u need to be familiar with the american lifestyl and culture to undrestand it. I found this vedio to be very funny...

[Sypher555]

I said I didn't get ONE saying. not the whole video. The video is really funny, I just don't know what "fucking a" means. I DO understand American Comedy and I DO understand the lifestyle and culture. So suck my balls, ass man

[MovieRazor123]

you would like it if someone sucke your balls haha kidding on.

but you didn't need say suck my balls it just makes you sound like you like it up the ass.

[karasuookomiko]

It means fucking ass. As a teenager, I know that "my kind" use it a lot to not get in AS much trouble from adults.

[JamesTronic]

Lol this is brilliant...

And this TOTALLY should be a soundboard.

[letsgotomyroompig]

*falls outta chair laughing*

[Sypher555]

what does "fuckin a" mean? I'm just curious =S

[freakishidiot]

like fuckin HEEY

[OzhanTabibi]

hell yahhhh

[RomanianGuy91]

you were like Paul Teutul Sr. when you said "damn, baby!" lol strange, but hell funny

[phantasm616]

lmfao

[phlexonance]

Thanks for making me laugh ^^

[CrazyFreerunner]

'Yes Dear' I absolutly emphasize

[letmefragyou]

So, how many piercings do you have as of now?

[CristallsofWater]

Lol, I love your videos. Especially the elvis thing, I just came up to that, I'll probably be taking up your swear words ^^

[hiimnathan]

You are like my idol.

[Sypher555]

i dunno WHO that was!

[DJDFW]

I wonder if this church is accepting members? o.O

Fuck has got to be his all time favorite word of all time. lololol

I love it.

[ihatekagome78]

woh talk about R rated i like it >:)

[KakarotoXT]

You know they have a cure for your condition it's called "Get the fuck out of my way" :))

[RAWRitsanONION]

In my opinion, some of it was alright and funny but i just found that there was too much swearing and pretty much the same types of jokes run over and over again to make it as enjoyable as it should have been. 3/5 stars, wasn't that bad but wasn't that good either.

[RAWRitsanONION]

and whoops i accidently misclicked and put 2 stars my bad >_> meant to do 3

[NicIsNotANinja]

hahaha, i like the survey one

[Villanelle2Ashes]

You're shockingly stupid and unoriginal. Talk about the lowest form of humor. Are you going through a mid-life crisis? ...actually it'd be more of an "I'm-too-old-to-be-going-throu­gh-a-mid-life-crisis-I-just-ne­ver-grew-out-of-being-a-teen."

[thechurchofdave]

Villanelle2Ashes : Yes Dear :)

[sunvade]

Youre a shockingly big dickhead, hes a funny guy :D

[MrPonko]

@Villanelle2Ashes This was hilarious and brilliant. Nice one, bro. *smiles*

[ILoveBlackMetal100]

@Villanelle2Ashes fuck you

[cheyenne1boutilier]

I love this!

[MaidenMad666]

Oh I get it you're the "loveable bad guy"

The only thing is most of those statements were re-hee-heely not funny.

Ben Loka owned you :p

Maybe I just don't get American comedy?

[CommandoDude]

Yes dear...

[animalover94]

...hmmm.. your voice sounds like a television announcer..

[01hdav]

ha I like the "theres a cure for your problem it's called get the fuck away from me"

although thought I'd just mention none of those were conversations.

But yeh thats not a criticism cause your video was awesome :P

[christophe780]

his hair is growing on the wrong side of his face

[MeisterJedah]

who the fuck cares if his statements are "fuck" or offensive, they're the ones HE USES TO SAY. So if you don't like it, bite your testicles

[mmamaster971]

im not that flexible.

[golliwogg07]

I'm dizzy now...

[MangaRoX232]

nice tatoo's m8

[username5215]

<3 'Won't ya be my neighbor?' <3

[YojimboDF]

The things he says are the kind of things you find on all those novelty t-shirts, classic!

[GoldenJoker]

Good ole' American statements hehehe Great video, especially the ending.

[sppppooooon]

I normally don't leave comments but this one annoyed me so much I had to. You're going to get no where in life with that attitude and will "prolly" end up fat and ugly putting up videos showing off how badass you are on you....tube..............

[Mikej1592]

ROFLMAO "yes dear" LOL awsum, fukin a.

It was as if I was listening to myself.

I said half of them on the drive home the other night.

[SloppyCheese]

lol you should of done a voice over for the NPCs in oblivion

[simonjeste]

OMG I was also thinking a lot of the way he says his particular catchphrases, he would fit in awesome in some kind of RatedM+ game where you've got a sidekick in co-op missions or something...

Plus I think he'd be awesome to have at a BBQ or something :) YOU DA MAN, DAVE!

[nwLohmann]

i think you portray yourself much cooler than you really are. But it's oke.

[RenoTurk]

So... Everything you will say a million times is offensive?

[thechurchofdave]

RenoTurk : Yes. Of course. Always remember that everything a comedian ever says is always the truth. Every joke in the world is the absolute truth. Sarcasm is just a verbal contract attesting the absolute validity of the information it is constructed of.

[jaekent]

Fuckin' eh!

[EmporerReagan]

shut the fuck up was the funniest

[pthodor]

so that's what they call "americana"...

[orionbrooksclardy]

Ya know, I was thinkin' about something: It has been my experience in life that, whenever someone calls THEMSELVES "Bad-ass" or "Mean" or "Scary," they all, most likely, are anything but. In fact, they're mostly lost, scared children inside. Sad little bitches, whining for their Mommies. Ya know, proverbially speaking. ...just sayin' bro. Just sayin. Oh, yeah, and btw, you're vid sucked balls. That too. Later.

[j3ss3l33]

fuck myspace hahah

[glamourjunkie73]

Lol awesome. I especially relate to the "zOMG DID THAT [gauges] HURT?!?!?!?!"

YES YOU FUCKIN MORON. -.-

nice vid.

BTW, you have like a radio host/announcer voice or some shit. It's cool.

[KurtDonaldCobain94]

3:17 LMAO

[TheSurvivorGuy]

Lol at 3:58 i stopped watching... i mean look at him. ugh. bad mental image.

[guitargenius1234]

He sounds like woody off Toy Story... what a nobber

[RidgeGuitarWoW]

lol i laughed my ass off how serious he tried to stay FUCK YOU

LOL

[xAlasdair]

STOP SWEARING BIKER MAN! =)

[theMEGAPOPE]

you're not scary and loads of profanity doesn't make something funny.

[xstutterstep]

"Fuck" is not funny.

[sontiponto]

You're not scary.

[x0spiderman0x]

I love your speaking voice. :) Haha. This is a pretty good vid. ;) I like it. <3 Peace.

[FrozenLegion]

That was too funny holy crap

SUp ANimeCrunch

"That kinda stung though!"

[JensLynet]

Sounds a bit like John Goodman. And its funny enough - some great things here and there :)

[adolfo21]

how old r u dave?

[HM80s]

what a waste of my time.

i quit at 1:05

[lidgerwood]

I lasted until 2:05 but I spent a good portion of that reading the comments.

Not even a little bit funny.

[AWDracer]

The guy was being realistic rather than being sarcastic.

The one he's replying to IS sarcastic, and while people can relate to his video, Dave's video I find is more practical to me at least - minus 80-90 percent of the offensive terms and statements lol as I don't swear that much.

[SusieSommers]

He has the voice of a bullshitter and his convos are those of a dysfunctional loser.

He proly can't get over his fucked up childhood so he is in his 30's and still acting like a teenage asshole.

[Radacoin]

you should be a voice actor, you have a good voice.

[Radacoin]

i can't place it, it sounds like someone famous, maybe tom hanks.

[adolfo21]

david lee roth??

[jeloopa]

lol raul's house of bail bonds :D

[sokhahotel]

you lead a miserable life bitter dave

[delta7tn]

funny

[ubentu]

lol dude shut up, you really need to stop dissing people.

[maporka]

You Americans are a bunch of pricks

[bodouzan]

nice vid. I thought "Gimme your money would be in there".

[537172]

ha! great!

[Tuulish]

hehe i never get tired of watching this video :)) U Rox Dave! ...Hows the JollyRoger turning out btw ? *Hugs* Tuula

[vocalbanana]

hmm prefer the original bentloka one sry dave ;P

[Korto69Koyanisqatsi]

great vid....really made me smile !!

[SuperSaiyan877]

Hahaha but how many times did you say FUCK?

[ihatekagome78]

HA these videos just get funnier and funnier

[magalator]

Hey Dave great video. 5 stars.

[notblondeswede]

u seems like a stupid fuck

[thechurchofdave]

notblondeswede : Go away kid ya bother me..(W.C. Fields voice) lol Come back in a few years when yer an adult so I can respond properly :D

[notblondeswede]

i doubt that YOU can`t speak properly with your poor vocabulary, i just said what everybody was thinking about you.

[thechurchofdave]

notblondeswede : Not to nitpick but you just failed to speak properly :) Meanwhile I find is somewhat immoral to unleash my full intellect upon pissed off 14 years olds so have a nice day son ;)

[notblondeswede]

"pissed off"!? i just thought u were stupid because you used that language regurly and those things are things you THINK but not say, do u have friends? What is speaking "properly" to you? I am because I don`t use your kind of language daily or often and i laughed at YOU when i saw this vid, did you actually think people would think this was funny or cool?

[masmike7065]

Speak for yourself child. nbs The worst kind of Swede.

[notblondeswede]

It seems to me that most of the people commenting here just thinks you`re a idiot.(unfortunately there are idiots on the internet too who gave u like 2 good comments.) by the way i`m 15, from Sweden(whatever that suppose to mean to you) and i obviusly speak better english than you.

[thechurchofdave]

notblondeswede : Yes Dear

[Caswitch]

some of those things i say a million times in one day... in my head of course.

[benpowellfforddlas]

why u gotta do this with sunglasses on and chest out with horrid tat's?!?!?!

[thechurchofdave]

benpowellfforddlas : The same reason you post videos of offbeat drum practice sweetcheeks >:) Cuz I want to :P

[benpowellfforddlas]

off beat, it is a shame im signed, ahhhh well! SWEETCHEECKS!

[thechurchofdave]

benpowellfforddlas: Congratulations! By all means send us a link to your work! As for shame, lol we can all think of signed bands who suck ass so link us all to your awesome recordings and I am the first to eat crow in your honor :) Meanwhile, I'll stick with the glasses, tattoos and good timing ;)

[lamasniu]

hahahahahahah

I feel for you. Yes Dear hahaha

Life's a bitch and then you marry one, right?

hahahahah

Kiss Kiss

[Trippywild]

remind me of my uncle your the shit man

[aveste1987]

and acceptance is the answer to all my problems..ah god dave i so hear that lol great job just keep it coming cause laughter dulls the pain

[MCR782]

That guys in Bowling For Soup! lol

[xtashyx]

No offence, not in a bad way..but you remind me of a "monster buddy" i had when i was little. Like it said phrases in the same tone as you. =]

[tiredmeadow]

"damn that stung..."

[RobDarken]

This reminds me of GTA: Vice City.

[heolstor]

yes dear.

yes dear.

:)

[kissesxofthexsun]

It's not a million conversations, it's conversations you will have a million times.

And holy Christ, you're stereotypical.

[R0LFharris]

more than painful, this geezer is more cringing to watch than david brent

[littlekid456]

that was extremely painful to watch

[izzymurder]

that was great!

[R0LFharris]

hahahahaha that was fucking hillarius, you forgot one though....

.... fat bald cunts wearing shades are douche bags.

seriously that was shite, all you did was sit your fat ugly arse down and chat meaningless shit.

FARK YOU ya yanky scum

[Lesia44]

YouTube, the home of attention seekers who think they're funnier than they are and love the sound of their own voices. Lame... and more than a little sad.

[evilmike666]

legend

[shreddingfish]

pure class

[MsPengywin]

what? this? nar that didn't hurt much...

that kinda stung though! haha class...

[eire138]

yet another sterling display of the infinite variety of uses for the word "fuck". Probably the most undervalued word in existance. Thank you for yet another brilliant and highly entertaining video. By the way, a special thanks for this video, youhave covered pretty much what I would have said in response to Benloka's vid, so my work here is done.

[grosspiddy123]

You are everything that I aspire to be. And i am a teenage english girl. So you know.

[ToriTerrawr]

your voice is pretty relaxing.

aaaand your tattoos are fuckingggggg sick dude

[starrobbielee]

What the fuck Dave? LOL That was great!

[standinglikestatues]

man u should do video game voice overs

x

[DZrache]

lol Thoes were more statements than conversations, still kinda funny though.

[FatherWarhol]

Dave - Lose some weight, shave your beard, ditch the shades. Grow up, heavy metal is gone. It's 2007.

[thechurchofdave]

FatherWarhol : You obviously don't understand what "growing up" IS or what constitutes the "Heavy metal" fashion. I'll prolly NOT be takin my fashion cues from you sir ;) Thanks for the try though:P

[Violex23]

Tune into scuzz or Kerrang cunt, heavy metal is all there.

[Oddsweb]

heavy metal is not a fashion its a mind set!

[R0LFharris]

heavy metal is not a mind set it is a mind unset, fuckin freaks

[Oddsweb]

poor boy, lol

[R0LFharris]

douche bag

[wvlngth36]

Hahaha! I say some of those things a million times in a month!!! Awesome!

[miketehdirector]

fantastic. you should really be on television, in a movie. really.

:)

[Rixxster]

scary dave for sure. But i like ur tatoos except the egiption symbols and u sound like something from Duke Nuke'em

[nabar123]

nah mate

[haunteddeth]

LOL, i noticed all yu said, were bad things

and somethin relating to FUCK or sex

yu must have a very poor vocabulary [: