A plane is suddenly running out if fuel and is about to crash. A woman stands up and takes off her clothe an says " WHO CAN MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WOMEN BEFORE WE DIE"!? Without
A plane suddenly started to loose altitude, as it was out of fuel. A young woman stands up, takes off her clothes and shouts, "Who can make me feel like a woman before I die!" Then a man gets up, without missing a beat, takes of his shirt and says, " Here, iron this.
3 Men get arrested. on their way into jail, an officer stops them and asks the first man what he got arrested for. The man says, ''blowing bubbles in the park.'' Confused, the officer sends him off. He asks the next man that, to which he replied, ''blowing bubbles in the park.'' the officer sends him off and says to the next guy, ''lemme guess, you got arrested for blowing bubbles in the park?'' the man says, ''No, im Bubbles.'' :))
A man and his four year old son are talking, when his son asks him "Dad, what does a pussy look like?" The Dad confused, asks him " before or after sex?" The kid says "Ummm before sex" So the dad says to him "Well have u ever seen a beautiful red rose with soft red peddles." "yeah" says the son."well what about after sex" he says to his dad. His dad replies " Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise"
On December 24,2006 at 8 o'clock in the morning, a young 14 year old boy by the name of Scott Jackson was found dead.Doctors couldn't come up with the cause of his death.His mother checked his emails to see if she could figure out what happened.Turns out he was still signed into myspace.She found he had gone to sleep after he read and didn't repost a chain letter.if you don't repost this to 6 videos a girl with no face will kill you tonight. sorry don't wanna die
On December 24,2006 at 8 o'clock in the morning, a young 14 year old boy by the name of Scott Jackson was found dead.Doctors couldn't come up with the cause of his death.His mother checked his emails to see if she could figure out what happened.Turns out he was still signed into myspace.She found he had gone to sleep after he read and didn't repost a chain letter.if you don't repost this to 6 videos a girl with no face will kill you tonight. sorry don't wanna die
On December 24,2006 at 8 o'clock in the morning, a young 14 year old boy by the name of Scott Jackson was found dead.Doctors couldn't come up with the cause of his death.His mother checked his emails to see if she could figure out what happened.Turns out he was still signed into myspace.She found he had gone to sleep after he read and didn't repost a chain letter.if you don't repost this to 6 videos a girl with no face will kill you tonight. sorry don't wanna die
Dont read this cause it actually works. u will be kissed in the nearest possible Friday by the love of your life. However if you do not post this comment on at least 3 videos, you will die within 2 days. now you started reading this don't stop. This is so scary. Put this on at least 5 videos in 143 minutes and when your done, press F6 and your lover's name will apper on the screenin big letters. This s so scary cuz it actually works
Love it. Love the whole series. Reminds me of Dave Allen (Irish comedian).
Many of these jokes are recycled bar jokes. I love that it is a cute "innocent looking" old man telling it (just like the way I originally heard it) who just looks at you and smiles at the end of the joke.
A black man and a parrot walk into a bar and then walk up to the bartender, the bartender says 'wow thats a nice pet you've got there' 'I got it in africa they were real cheap and easy to catch'... sez the parrot. (soz black guys/girls it funny anyways).
A black man and a parrot walk into a bar and then walk up to the bartender, the barteneder says 'wow thats a nice pet you've for there' 'I got it in africa they were real cheap and easy to catch'... sez the parrot. (soz black guys/girls it funny anyways).
The Like/Dislike system, I can live with. I've gotten used to it now.
The new comment layout, fine with me.
But THIS, is just too much too take! The front page has completely lost it's organised, simple layout!
I don't know where you get your ideas, but I think I speak for a big part of the community when I say "YouTube, go F*ck yourself." But this is not meant to be funny. This is serious! Give this a thumbs up and copy/paste it around!
GREAT JOKES! BUT I HAVE ALREADY HEARD OF MOST OF THEM ALREADY ANYWAYS I KNOW THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE THAT HAVEN'T HEARD THIS KIND OF JOKES AT ALL. GOOD JOB, THOUGH!
u must read this. once u have started there is no turning back. a little 10 year old girl was raped and murderded in 1945. her body was not found until 1947. then a boy last week read this and did not copy and paste this message. the dead girl appeared in his room haunting him and killed him. if you do not copy and paste this onto 10 vidoes in 30 minutes the dead girl will apear in your room tonight and haunt you and kill you. well you better start to copy and paste to be saved
@ComputerCrazy15 you might be to young, or not sick-minded to get them, maybe thats why u think there not funny. personaly, i think they are histarical. XD
A plane is suddenly running out if fuel and is about to crash. A woman stands up and takes off her clothe an says " WHO CAN MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WOMEN BEFORE WE DIE"!? Without
missing
MrMackey012 1 week ago
BILL AND TED HE SAID!!!!
ChrisAllanStone 1 month ago
@spillersww SHUT UP BRO
pizzaluvah198 1 month ago
Bill and Ted where the shit back in the day
squeekieballs 1 month ago
that's amazing
TomekHujek988 1 month ago
This has been flagged as spam show
الله اكبر
wwefan12372 2 months ago
what do you name a 1 legged dog ? nothing cuz he could never come anyway -_-"
rickyphu 3 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Watch 100% free porn at hardcorecube(.)com
Spillersww 3 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
A plane suddenly started to loose altitude, as it was out of fuel. A young woman stands up, takes off her clothes and shouts, "Who can make me feel like a woman before I die!" Then a man gets up, without missing a beat, takes of his shirt and says, " Here, iron this.
FunnyGamerNERD 3 months ago
the intro reminds me of comic strip
winzor72 4 months ago
0:30
so...what the fuck made them thing dressing as a moose after putting around mating scents is a good idea?
Pico2571 4 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
3 Men get arrested. on their way into jail, an officer stops them and asks the first man what he got arrested for. The man says, ''blowing bubbles in the park.'' Confused, the officer sends him off. He asks the next man that, to which he replied, ''blowing bubbles in the park.'' the officer sends him off and says to the next guy, ''lemme guess, you got arrested for blowing bubbles in the park?'' the man says, ''No, im Bubbles.'' :))
sashadoo10 4 months ago
sivret20@ that is a funny joke
LEWISH19931 4 months ago
teds eli
Jarod3926 4 months ago in playlist Eli's Dirty Jokes
i keep expecting keanu reeves and that other guy (i forget his name) in this joke :D
TheRainSnake 5 months ago
A man and his four year old son are talking, when his son asks him "Dad, what does a pussy look like?" The Dad confused, asks him " before or after sex?" The kid says "Ummm before sex" So the dad says to him "Well have u ever seen a beautiful red rose with soft red peddles." "yeah" says the son."well what about after sex" he says to his dad. His dad replies " Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise"
TurtleBlastingOG 5 months ago 9
This has been flagged as spam show
3 guys are in a cafe,
one says: I've got the smallest arm of the world!
another says: I've got the smallest head of the world!
last one says: I've got the smallest dick of the world!
The 3 guys go to Guinness World Records.
First one goes first and returns happy: I've really got the smallest arm in the world!
Second returns happy too: I've really got the smallest head of the world!
The last one returns angry and screams: WHO THE HECK IS JUSTIN BIEBER
ali101819 5 months ago 2
what an excellent adventure...
also, why does the female moose have antlers?
stevebob240 5 months ago
Bill and Ted?....Excellent but you drew them wrong
FilmParodys 5 months ago
a blonde a red head and a brunette walk into a bar. the blonde say's "ow"
jukebox1322 5 months ago
a man goes into a bar no wait a man cums into a horse :D
killer8479394 5 months ago
"well i think i (whatdawhat?) but you better brace yourself"
jukebox1322 5 months ago
@jukebox1322 He said: "I think I'm gonna eat some grass, but you better.... bla bla" got it?
chizpa305 5 months ago
brokeback woods
TheScorpion9080 6 months ago
This must be bill and ted's excellent adventure when they're older.
tacoblocko 6 months ago
the one that is getting fucked has left the gun outside in pourpose
therealvyperx 6 months ago
A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says: Wow that is an amazing creature! Where did you get it?
The parrot replies: Africa.
sivret20 6 months ago
i just found out but this channel today (tue, july 19/ 2011)
i got bored and typed in 'funny jokes cartoon' and this came up .
PENspinner98 6 months ago
thumbs up if your watching this in 2011
DinoMite1996 6 months ago 7
This has been flagged as spam show
On December 24,2006 at 8 o'clock in the morning, a young 14 year old boy by the name of Scott Jackson was found dead.Doctors couldn't come up with the cause of his death.His mother checked his emails to see if she could figure out what happened.Turns out he was still signed into myspace.She found he had gone to sleep after he read and didn't repost a chain letter.if you don't repost this to 6 videos a girl with no face will kill you tonight. sorry don't wanna die
rofljoy24 6 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
On December 24,2006 at 8 o'clock in the morning, a young 14 year old boy by the name of Scott Jackson was found dead.Doctors couldn't come up with the cause of his death.His mother checked his emails to see if she could figure out what happened.Turns out he was still signed into myspace.She found he had gone to sleep after he read and didn't repost a chain letter.if you don't repost this to 6 videos a girl with no face will kill you tonight. sorry don't wanna die
XxIcecold1xX 6 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
On December 24,2006 at 8 o'clock in the morning, a young 14 year old boy by the name of Scott Jackson was found dead.Doctors couldn't come up with the cause of his death.His mother checked his emails to see if she could figure out what happened.Turns out he was still signed into myspace.She found he had gone to sleep after he read and didn't repost a chain letter.if you don't repost this to 6 videos a girl with no face will kill you tonight. sorry don't wanna die
superzaroos 6 months ago
a cowboy, an indian, and a buffalo walk into a bar, the bar tender looks up and says, "what is this some kind of fuckin joke?"
1pdigit 6 months ago 3
Mickey mouse devorces Minney because she was fucking goofy
ANoobIsYOU 6 months ago
dosn't matter had sex
Pendragondnd 7 months ago
Bill and Ted's excellent adventure?
SuperMario1029 7 months ago
what did you use to animate this
justinwd1 7 months ago
3 vampires walked into a bar.
the 1st vampire said: i want a cup of blood.
the 2nd vampie said: ill order 2 cups of blood.
the 3rd vampire said: gimme a hot glass of water.
the two vampires asked the 3rd vampire: why a hot glass of water?
when their orders arrived, the 3rd vampire took a used tampon out of his pocket and said: im making tea.
Hassenpheffer22 7 months ago 76
@Hassenpheffer22 eww xD
Effectality 7 months ago
this actually has happened to someone
xianxiu 7 months ago
I love that the characters names are Bill and Ted. Are they going on an excellent adventure, or a bogus journey?
SerpentsNightmare 8 months ago in playlist Eli's Dirty Jokes 3
@SerpentsNightmare AS LONG AS THERE IS AIR GUITAR IT DOESN'T MATTER! XD
F1ip9er5 6 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Dont read this cause it actually works. u will be kissed in the nearest possible Friday by the love of your life. However if you do not post this comment on at least 3 videos, you will die within 2 days. now you started reading this don't stop. This is so scary. Put this on at least 5 videos in 143 minutes and when your done, press F6 and your lover's name will apper on the screenin big letters. This s so scary cuz it actually works
Frshy7 8 months ago
hahahhahhahhahahahahhahhahahhahahah
javiercamacho1000 8 months ago
i get haha aww man better brace your self lol
daffykeyblader99 8 months ago
Eli is Ted.
Rockbandmaster808 8 months ago
LOL
Rin1611 9 months ago
Love it. Love the whole series. Reminds me of Dave Allen (Irish comedian).
Many of these jokes are recycled bar jokes. I love that it is a cute "innocent looking" old man telling it (just like the way I originally heard it) who just looks at you and smiles at the end of the joke.
freestuffin2012 9 months ago
A black man and a parrot walk into a bar and then walk up to the bartender, the bartender says 'wow thats a nice pet you've got there' 'I got it in africa they were real cheap and easy to catch'... sez the parrot. (soz black guys/girls it funny anyways).
CbaToThink1994 9 months ago
A black man and a parrot walk into a bar and then walk up to the bartender, the barteneder says 'wow thats a nice pet you've for there' 'I got it in africa they were real cheap and easy to catch'... sez the parrot. (soz black guys/girls it funny anyways).
CbaToThink1994 9 months ago
Can someone explain to me what makes this one so funny? It's the only one so far I don't get.. unless it's not as funny as I expect it to be.
xTriggz 9 months ago
@xTriggz they forgot the rifle... guy at the head is a dick... its really.... not hard to understand at all....
Cruzito3000 9 months ago
@Cruzito3000 k so its not that funny then that's what i thought..
xTriggz 9 months ago
@Jackblackflo ah shut up if you dont like dont watch it and how about you take the dick out of your ASS before you post a comment
njfadeaway12 9 months ago
u suck at telling jokes...plus get the cock out of your mouth before u start saing jokes
jackblackflo 9 months ago
i love theas jokes on hear thear so damn funny do u think theas up???? keep up the good work.
Memgon 10 months ago
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
paramorevampire1996 10 months ago
Co za asy...
tERtasdf 10 months ago
@tERtasdf dude, its getting annoying seeing that comment in EVERY video -.-
thepurlydragon 10 months ago
@thepurlydragon im saying it because other people says it
tERtasdf 10 months ago
His voice is so hard to understand
mrkingquang 10 months ago 4
Co sa asy...
SurvivingOllie 10 months ago
@SurvivingOllie lol fagg
TheL1R1ZoNiiC 10 months ago
the moose had the rifle
no2475 10 months ago 2
I can't wait to get laid
TigerCubBlue 11 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Dear YouTube,
The Like/Dislike system, I can live with. I've gotten used to it now.
The new comment layout, fine with me.
But THIS, is just too much too take! The front page has completely lost it's organised, simple layout!
I don't know where you get your ideas, but I think I speak for a big part of the community when I say "YouTube, go F*ck yourself." But this is not meant to be funny. This is serious! Give this a thumbs up and copy/paste it around!
Mrpacmanjunoir 1 year ago
@Mrpacmanjunoir I like the way it is I've not had any problems
apriltheghost2009 4 months ago
Bill and Teds Not So Excellent Adventure
rawkgawdez 1 year ago 2
there was a guy who went to Africa hunting with his friends after a long day they started to tell what they got and the guy said:
-well i managed to kill an antilope 2 aligators and 4 nopleasers
-whats a nopleaser? the other guy asked
-im not sure myself but they are all black as a coal and before i killed them they kept yelling "NO PLEASE!"
Brugar18 1 year ago 24
This has been flagged as spam show
how fast can you guess these words?
1.BOO_S
2.__NDOM
3.F__K
4.P_N_S
5.PU_S_
6.S_X
Answesr:1.BOOKS,2.RANDOM,3.FORK,4.PANTS,5.PULSE,6.SIX .You got all 6 wrong didnt you? You dirty minded freak!
TheL1R1ZoNiiC 1 year ago 2
@TheL1R1ZoNiiC Very Clever!
SurvivingOllie 10 months ago
458 people got raped by a moose XD
kiyombo1004 1 year ago 8
HAHA XD!
theamvgirlx 1 year ago
I don't get it
Javindetwiler 1 year ago
@Javindetwiler yeah me neather
abcdef1237333 1 year ago
If u don't get it. Then you are to young to know.
Tjtjboy 1 year ago 3
i dont get it
ddnegrete 1 year ago
@ddnegrete the moose raped them lmao
TheJonms0100revenge 11 months ago
And for their next trip, Bill and Ted went on a Bogus Journey
frEAkofNatre 1 year ago 4
@frEAkofNatre Most totally non-non-heinous
Silenceisbought 1 year ago
<--- HA!
mooseasaurusrex 1 year ago
@mooseasaurusrex lol
lockerzinvites57 1 year ago
dont get it
JAYZILL44 1 year ago
@JAYZILL44 the mouse is going to fuck ted who is in the back, and since the mouse costume ina female the mouse will fuck ted up the ass
UnlimitedZoro2010 1 year ago
@UnlimitedZoro2010
its "moose" :D
Jeroen19283 1 year ago
well, at least he got laid...
KawaiiKurasu 1 year ago 200
@KawaiiKurasu duuuuude that's SICK
he godassraped XD
voltex12345 4 months ago
i saw a to handed rifle ??----i didnt get it
chilleverest 1 year ago
@chilleverest I thought you had the rifle?
FireBFM 1 year ago
i just love when the old man smiles at the end it makes it cute/funny!
loverwas 1 year ago
Female moose don't have antlers
JDezi4 1 year ago 6
nice
saywuh2 1 year ago
whoa whoaa waitt....
wtf just happened?????????
zeroxxxask 1 year ago
cant really understand what he is saying
AgentBonerShinobi808 1 year ago
0:54 lmaaoooo :L:L
Giibbzyx1 1 year ago
OMG their names are bill and ted i only just noticed
XXxxDaJaKsTaxxXX 1 year ago 6
@geschorenbalzak suck it
there thats funny right?
DjPaanda 1 year ago
A man and a parrot go into a bar........ i forgot the rest of the joke but you mom's a whore
jeudyfeo1 1 year ago 338
@jeudyfeo1 FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!
Gabbisterbam 6 months ago
@jeudyfeo1 210 people's mom are really whores?
Jaden730 6 months ago
huh??
itsacornthing 1 year ago
lmao,dem gun ben up no wah
stoute45 1 year ago
@geschorenbalzak god all u dumbasses do is bad-talk americans, if u ask me, u guys r the bigger jackasses
wassup528 1 year ago
@geschorenbalzak no its just a differnt type of humor different countries have diffrent sense of humor
democat73 1 year ago
@geschorenbalzak Heres the ting, other countries have many different types of humor. If your not from here don't judge our humor opinions. ;)
Imdill3 1 year ago
i can't stand how the guy who narrates these jokes is always stuttering. it seriously just ruins the jokes.
addicted2you20 1 year ago 3
bill and ted?
PlanetAwesomeful 1 year ago
lol elis funny
Jonathanronaldo9 1 year ago
thats it iv seen like 20 of his jokes i dont find any of them funny creative but not funny
PrivetCyan 1 year ago
@PrivetCyan i seen 2 thanks for the info i wont waste more time xD seriously though i agree there not funny
philjk9372 1 year ago
As explained by 1 man 1 horse, if he got bummed by a moose Once he would suffer enterbal bleeding and die a slow painful death.
RedUnicorno 1 year ago
now this is bill and ted's excellent adventure
cinemastupid 1 year ago
HAHAHAHAH יha...ha...ha...ha....ahhhhh not funny I want my money back!!!!!!
eytank97 1 year ago
Lmao he got bummed good
Scozzydav21 1 year ago
the end is wierd moose ob top of moose yuklol
lawsusu 1 year ago
wow 1,563,797 just for one joke!
shadi7997 1 year ago
lamer? -.-
dontgetsurprised 1 year ago
most of these arn't funny...
cory18011801 1 year ago
WOW
montrailroper 1 year ago
Haha:)funny
alyssuhhhhhh12341 1 year ago
eli is awsome
starynight431 1 year ago
ROFL
PlayFishy123 1 year ago
hey search stuntzforlife on youtube and watch Wake Up Scare Prank, thanks!!!!
stuntzforlife 1 year ago
GREAT JOKES! BUT I HAVE ALREADY HEARD OF MOST OF THEM ALREADY ANYWAYS I KNOW THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE THAT HAVEN'T HEARD THIS KIND OF JOKES AT ALL. GOOD JOB, THOUGH!
QueTerco 1 year ago
eli talks like he has a cock in his fucking mouth
SwaqSoSiiCkK 1 year ago
WTF?
derekshane79 1 year ago
ewww o_o
Kishimyu 1 year ago
just lame.....
GoqoGo0 1 year ago
Eli is the guy in the blue hat,yellow shirt,and he is Ted.
sidekicker0002 1 year ago
this jokes only funny if you see the moose raping him
donaldds25 1 year ago
Comment removed
TheMysterio12 1 year ago
@TheMysterio12 well that explains
AstatineMime 1 year ago
@TheMysterio12 well thats great..... we dont care
MrGamecrazy101 1 year ago
@TheMysterio12 lol u must be a boy
im twelve also and think these shows are immature and quite frankly just stupid
11benano11 1 year ago
Oh Eli...
SpoonsAtMidnight 1 year ago
I love how eli is in all the jokes
Psycho5275 1 year ago
okay episode 3 better be funny or im not watching anymore of this shit.
117gotmilk 1 year ago
i didnt get that one....
DaMastaWil 1 year ago
O_O
vidmuncher2 1 year ago
funny shit
ruthypie2234 1 year ago
funny shit
ruthypie2234 1 year ago
funny shit
ruthypie2234 1 year ago
ew!lol that was upsetting...
MsPickles126 1 year ago
haha he hasen't got a stiffy yet so it's nota rifle!
jonatherockstar033 1 year ago
holy shit dudes this is sick
ellizeorbeta 1 year ago
ive deffently heard better derty jokes
colrod111 1 year ago
@colrod111 tell us some then
LadyAstridd 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
1st- put ur hands on ur chest (boy or girl)
2nd- think of someone u like....
3rd- 2 marrow that person will ask u out or say they LOVE u
4th- the catch is u have 2 write this for 5 videos IT REALLY WORKS
bworthingtonhvac 1 year ago
Blue hat guy is eli.
GreatwhiteBite101 1 year ago
this sucks dick. no offense to all u faggots
kylepdotNV 1 year ago
Comment removed
maylo420 1 year ago
@kylepdotNV Watch episode number 31 i believe look for two whales
maylo420 1 year ago
the moose is humping them
brian500017 1 year ago
ow, he could have turned around..
MunaxD 1 year ago
then the mooses dick would be in his mouth/face
Scabia25 1 year ago
holy shit dude
TheUchihapedro 1 year ago
this is funny haha
TheSoldier1014 1 year ago
This has been flagged as spam show
u must read this. once u have started there is no turning back. a little 10 year old girl was raped and murderded in 1945. her body was not found until 1947. then a boy last week read this and did not copy and paste this message. the dead girl appeared in his room haunting him and killed him. if you do not copy and paste this onto 10 vidoes in 30 minutes the dead girl will apear in your room tonight and haunt you and kill you. well you better start to copy and paste to be saved
peanutbut3 2 years ago
eli is ted
brittnayyy8 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
hmm this just looks like these jokes are taken from a 3rd grade site
these jokes would work....but the animation spoils it.
phoebesguitar 2 years ago
lol XDDD
xxaiidaxx 2 years ago 2
Haha!
kingklabe 2 years ago
LMFAO!
wildbeemer 2 years ago
Lol gawd
saraha456 2 years ago
guys eli is the old man duh
lilhiphopdancer2 2 years ago 147
@lilhiphopdancer2 129 likers
adofri 1 year ago
lol
jhebrone 2 years ago
i think the man with the red mustache is Eli
ComputerCrazy15 2 years ago
no it is not it is one of the main charicter
The10827sai 2 years ago
-.- is you dun understand them , its funny , all of them
beware90 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
idk i just think these jokes are not funny
ComputerCrazy15 2 years ago 21
@ComputerCrazy15 you might be to young, or not sick-minded to get them, maybe thats why u think there not funny. personaly, i think they are histarical. XD
MizzzBella 1 year ago
@ComputerCrazy15 really? thats interesting.....kinda gets me wondering....?.....WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WATCHING THEM THEN?!?!?
prodigyhoodrise 1 year ago
@ComputerCrazy15i agree with you, the joke its not that great.
Assassin178 1 year ago
@ComputerCrazy15 these jokes are so funny
BlueCoolSc 1 year ago
oh wow
Anthonydiaz101 2 years ago
oh he's gonna have a hard time sitting properly the next couple of weeksXD
arceus120893 2 years ago
eli the hunter at 0:12
caddyking444 2 years ago
Lmao!
Evulchickenman 2 years ago
i think I could eat some grass, but you better brace yourself. LOL
julian7778 2 years ago
i think i'm gonna need some rest but you better brace yourself
FJapples 2 years ago 2