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From: somguy3
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  • Ya hear that ladies? missing time and waking with a sore anus is a perfectly normal occurrence and you should pay it no mind.

  • i have one word to explain all of this - rufilin >.<

  • Sleep paralysis, wow I have had them so many times... Even 3-4 times a night! Does that mean I have abducted 3-4 times in a night? Lol... They came back because I was that important? Lol... Hahahaa...

  • i bet that most of the people who have been ''abducted'' are americans :P

  • @jopi122

    Awww, don't be like that. Most of us are fairly intelligent. :) I'm guessing you're from the UK? Both our countries have their fair share of crazies. :p

  • @TripleDimensional I'm from finland :) well every country has their stupid people :P

  • @jopi122

    True facts. :P

  • i bruise pretty easily, so i'm always covered in marks i don't know how i got. i'm either being abducted all the time and not being aware of it, or i'm bumping into shit in my daily life and not specifically remembering each knock.

  • 17 dollars, now that's gangsta!

  • Why do the aliens only abduct ugly people?

  • @Yapshire compensasion for sex. i guess.

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  • That Barbara Lamb is abusing her 'patients'. Yes, we may laugh at them and call them idiots, but really they're vulnerable, mentally ill people who have been harvested by a manipulative bitch.

  • i used to like pen and teller but now i realize how big of dicks they are. aliens are real if you don't want to believe you will learn one day.

  • @steadymobin7

    Oh most definitely. The size of the universe makes it nigh impossible otherwise. But they have never even come close to Earth. Interstellar space travel is extremely difficult. If they have come, they would have made it known and most definitely NOT have done the stupid shit people claim they do. Heard of wasted taxpayer money? Think if we commisioned astronauts to go across the galaxy to finger an alien species. Anally. Wtf.

  • I can't stop shaking my head at these idiots. That old lady pimping their psycho asses. LOL.

  • Why are there naked people beside my Penn & Teller videos?

  • I gotta admit. these so-called abductees can draw their asses off.

    Anyways, A funny episode from Penn and Teller!

  • all thoes things I have experienced.. . the cause was Vodka

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  • Sounds to me like a nite full of beer, ull miss some parts, may have been in a fight, and in the morning u feel that lame, u dun wanna move.

  • What do you call "reliving" an event that never happened? Dreaming!

  • I've woken up with a hole in the back of my ankle (no joke) I don't know exactly what happened but there was blood on the parallel foot's big toe nail. You figure it out from there.

  • argh missing time occurs when the body enters a trance like state where moment to moment focus requirements are high but remember what you have already done in the task is of a low priority. namely tasks like driving a familiar route home.

    sleep paralysis? really? thats a fucking necessary stage of sleep. and when you wake due to a nightmare the paralysis can tke some time to wear off.

  • @ScubaSctimpy its not a part of normal sleep. its a condition some people get. believe me if you ever expierenced it you would know, it is disorienting and terrifying, i can see how others might make a big deal out of it, seeing as i experience it quite often it is not at ALL pleasant

  • @Rhuarc224 yes it is part of normal sleep, what isn't normal is the waking up during the paralysis. during the REM phase of sleep when you dream the body normally paralyses itself so that we can't hurt ourselves by leaping around

  • @ScubaSctimpy ...thats what i was saying, waking up 'during' this part of sleep

  • @Rhuarc224 good so we are in agreement then there is nothing paranormal about sleep paralysis, it's just waking before the paralysis wears off.

  • @ScubaSctimpy definitely, i must have misunderstood your original comment.

  • the whole alien thing is bs

    all made by hollywood alien movies

    like did you ever stop to think that why would the aliens

    always look the same?

    yeah! big head and black eyes

    the whole alien thing in general is a load of crap

    there might be aliens somewhere in this existence but i dont buy government keeping secrets like that

    if there would be ufos then yeah we would know

    just check wikipedia with ufo sightings and look at all the ones labeled hoax..

  • Did anyone else hear Penn say "dipshit" to Teller after the cigar joke?

  • I fucking hate sleep paralysis

  • My god, confused Teller at 5:35 is so cute!

  • Missing time? Crap, I've been experiencing that since I started playing Minecraft.

    Well, obviously aliens.

  • INCEPTION.

  • I have missing time. It's called lectures and classes. The horror. The horror.

  • Why would aliens return the creature they abduct? We cant find them anyway lol

  • Fucking Americans...

  • so every time someone has a blackout from alcohol, it was ALIENS :D

  • u2 had time with aliens...i new it

  • The male son..... As opposed to those weird female sons? :P

  • @Jaco352 Chaz Bono?

  • @Jaco352 They are aliens, maybe they do have female sons

  • "Oh. i'm sorry officer i do not recall of that event. I was obiviously obducted and analy probed by aliens."

  • Implanting the ideas in her head? My god, Aliens can perform Inception!!!

  • @flango8 We must go deeper (into your probing fantasy)

  • @flango8

    Hoooooonk!

  • Holy shit her face scares me

  • Missing time...That is when I got drunk and I was time traveling.

  • 7:10 they're looking at her like "come on, even we don't buy that bullshit"

  • Male son? Is she implying there can be a female son?

  • What are anal beads?

  • Fuck! Those kids are uglier than my sister's kid!

  • @usig00 Fuck I don't know man. I've seen that kid.

  • @BlueTeamPlayer Trust me Sir. I could NOT over estimate how ugly that fucking thing is.

  • geez, about 20 years seem to be missing details

  • I have had all 3 signs I was not kidnapped by aliens I fell of my bike when the break hit the wall.

  • That black lady was just... fucking disturbing...

  • When I slept for 8 hours last night it didn't feel like 8 hours passed.

    ALIENS.

  • I must have been abducted i have missing time and memories.One minute i am hanging out in the bar with friends then i wake up the next morning feeling like shit.DAMM ALIENS!!!

  • Dr, William Cone co-wrote "Abduction Enigma" with Kevin Randle and Russ Estes. Very good exposé of alien abduction nonsense.

  • This hypnosis bitch needs a swift kick in the cunt!

  • I'm confused about the fact that an alien race adopted not just the human tradition of a wedding but an American traditional wedding + honeymoon. And the hypnotherapist is from my hometown! I wonder if she goes to the same downtown area where my folks hang out.

  • Whoa! Jumbo tits...

    I had this sleep paralysis experience, and this gay Italian from the movie Eurotrip saying "Mi Belo, Mi Belo" (*shivers!!!). I watched Eurotrip the night before so I know it's nothing alien-induced crap fest. Aliens are busy fighting Superman and they don't have the time to probe your butts, nutheads! (-sarcasm)

  • I've experienced Sleep paralysis 2 times. I'm awake, my eyes are open, I can see my room's surrounding but can't totally move, head to toe. I think it took at least 15 minutes before I'm able to move.

  • @warnation101 Isn't that really scary? I hope that doesn't ever happen to me when I'm asleep.

  • @dolphinsneu Well, if it happens to you, at least you'll be aware it's a natural occurrence. It used to happen to me a lot, i would wake up in the middle of the night, and experience crazy hallucinations while paralyzed. Once I woke up in the morning, and while paralyzed i thought the poster on my wall was talking to me. I was terrified, and thought I was going crazy.

  • I found this shrink Barbara on facebook.  Should I message her and tell her to stop stealing from these people?

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  • hold on we share 98% of our dna with chimpanzees and we cant reproduce with them but somehow that ho can get knocked up but some green spaceman?

  • alien honeymoon??! WTF?!!

  • If a hypnotherapist told their patients that there is nothing wrong with them, they will go out of business. Think about that one for a moment.

  • Telap, I think you can do better.

  • @JesusSuckedGayPenis I like your name. :)

  • @JesusSuckedGayPenis The picture needs to look more less hand drawn.

  • @JesusSuckedGayPenis On the Next Maury Show. "Telap, you ARE the Father."

  • @JesusSuckedGayPenis most. politically correct. username. ever.

  • @JesusSuckedGayPenis love your username.

  • sleep paralysis is scary shit, i get it once in a while...

  • isnt sleep paralysis also the whole wakeing up with demons or a ghost of a women or man comming towords u, my bro had the ghost one all in ur head just depens on what u beleave if relig then a demon if in aliens ur taken away is ghosts the a women. was called hagged.

  • When I first watched this I thought the hypnotised woman said the alien told her he had a big cock. I was like - huh?

  • When I was little, I convinced myself I was a dragon and thought I could transform. I think that these people don't imagine that they have been dragons, but convince themselves rather that they have been losing time because of events that they most often cannot remember happening. It is highly unlikely that the events happen.

  • 0:14- would you trust Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond to hypnotise you?

  • I sometimes get sleep paralysis, only for about 30 secnods when all I can do is look. It is scary but it's nothing serious and doesnt mean an alien has boned me.

  • these ppl are nuts! but is it wrong to find Teller adorable

  • OMG!!! I HAVE BEEN ABDUCKTED BY ALIENS!!! I have woken up, but been unable to moove!!! And here I tought that my mind had just woken up, while my body was still in the stage of sleeping!!!!! Have I been abducted? anally probed? But most importantly.... Am I still a virgin?

  • 6:04 i thought that was an alien....

  • TALAP told his alien buddys once you go black you never go back!

  • Please tell me some of these characters are just acting for the show?

  • @sirrvs Sadly.....I think they are serious, shows you the intelligence of the great old USA........sad.

  • I always wake up with bruises or whatever, Its called restless sleeping. Someone should teach the therapist the words restless sleep.

  • So often when I am out drinking...? I black out!! Oh my!!! ALIENS!!! And a drinking problem....

  • P&T aren't very balanced about hypnosis. They could point out that many "abductees" recall these events completely on their own, or that many hypnotists uncover these memories by accident without knowing anything about alien abduction.

  • Penn should be hypnotised and then recall some funny ass shit :)

  • "Thats beautiful, she's a poet" 

    chuckle, chuckle.....

  • yea you know when your forced to marry an alien it ok and to have a nice reception but the honeymoon is between life or death freaky lady how is that she is not afraid of the whole thing marrying an alien is scary how is a honeymoon the only thing that scares you in an alien wedding

  • I experienced sleep paralysis once before. Half woke up in the middle of the night, pitch black & at the door, like 30 feet away (I have a mid-size studio) I "felt" someone. I felt they wanted to hurt me & told myself to get up & get my knife but I couldn't move at all. Started freaking out a bit. A few mins later I calmed down, dozed off & realized what happened when I woke up properly. I never had night terrors or anything but that was pretty scary...

  • This itself is solid proof that we have not been visited by aliens. If they ever had by any mistake, they must be really stupid enough to pick these people for their experiments. This is definitely not a random sample. In fact sick people. I feel sorry for them actually. America needs free Health Care.

  • "So far we have about... $17."

    Holy shit. I was guessing at least $50. sad XD

  • Ive had dreams like that and they are so awesome! As fake as they are they maker great one-uppers in a conversation.

  • 7:45-8:05 - This bitch should be shot, hell THAT SEGMENT ALONE debunks this whole damn thing and should make these wackos wake up and realize that they're being had.

  • Several signs of an alien abduction: 1. Missing time - Referred to as MICROSLEEPS, 2. paralyzed in bed - basically awake without being awake: NIGHT TERRORS/SLEEP PARALYSIS, 3. Unusual markings - Reported cases of "violent" sleep in paralysis where they injure themselves, 4. I've just debunked your WHOLE THEORY woman. It's called Sleep malfunction, not Alien Abduction.

  • I just love how they play the creepy music whenever someone sounds crazy.

  • she looks like a fucking alien dont expose your own race bad girl

  • 6:32 totally lost it laughing XD

  • I wonder what happens if these abductees figure out you can have dreams...

    (wakes up) OHMAHGAWD MY ARM'S ASLEEP!!! AAALIENS!!

  • Fuck i don't bellieve in aliens anymore :(

  • @andylolomgroflocnp

    You can still believe in aliens. In all liklihood there IS some form of alien life out there in the universe if not our own galaxy.

    They just aren't visiting us and sticking metal rods in our butts and draining blood from our cows and bounding playfully in and our of shakey camera shots!

    lol

  • why are all the aliens humanoid looking?

  • how do these people remember to breathe???

  • LOL everyone is an alien

  • The people sitting in that "support group" listening to someone else's story are thinking "wow that person is full of shit."

  • i bet all these people were high when they got "abducted"

  • 1:20 IT'S INCEPTION

    BRRRRRRR

  • The music they play then the hypnotist is talking is eerily fitting...

  • you mean aliens believe in marriage? what the fuck?

  • @mayyn94 i bet they don't believe in gay marriage. yet they stick things in people's asses.

  • @mayyn94

    Marriage is a thing between a man and a woman only! If we allow women and aliens to get married, we'll be having sex with animals next!

  • "unexplained scars, not unexplained CIGARS. no no...dipshit" hahaha

  • Another thing about sleep paralysis is that it's a great state to be in to induce lucid dreams and therefore dreams generally. I have experienced sleep paralysis many many times and nearly every time i have thought something was happening that wasn't this would usually include hearing family members in my room or walking past the door.

  • That hypnotist is another whack job and by going to this whack job she is reinforcing their idea's about being abducted. This implanting and suggesting is well documented.

  • I want an alien baby!!

  • You can only be abducted for 2 hours? What a jip!!

  • Barbara is really coining it from these sorry souls LOL

  • a landing pod and they got 17 dollors?!

  • 6:00- BOOMER!

  • 7:10 - Even these idiots know your full of shit! People take this shit to far...

  • Wow, inception is easier then the movie implied. Too bad Leonardo Dicaprio didn't know about these simple methods of putting an idea into your head.

  • @Tommy9834 inception, you don't need to get into somebody's sleep to do it.

  • 60 dollars and hour? Damn she is making a killing!

    In this fuckin economy I'm thinking about talking with crazy people

  • For some reason the black chick just doesn't fit in with this group

  • Missing time... my god I wasn't daydreaming through my lectures in high school, fucking aliens were screwing with me!

  • @pokemonpoacher hahahaha we should be friends

  • Aliens look like raptors, but like to screw around with us by putting us in their version of the holodeck and anally raping us with broom handles.

  • 3 things-

    -That guy in the black suit is awesome, he disproved everything that woman says

    -that therapist woman is a scammer and a bitch for doing that

    - that black woman is out of her mind holy shit

  • @cmills1988

    I never said there werebut they could surely get more down to earth people then these clowns here like ex marines, ex high ranking army officials, etc. you know people who they can't make look stupid

  • i have had sleep paralysis before i could see and move my eyes but that was all it was fucking scary.... but like 30 secons later my body woke up.... but really i never thought it was aliens... i mean REALLY ALIENS? BULLSHIT

  • The group therapy session is painful to watch........but still hilarious!

  • Look at the lady to the far right at 7:15. She's like "Fuck, I thought *I* was crazy..." as the black woman keeps going on about her extraterrestrial children.

  • Missing money is a tell tell sign of being in a shitty economy.

  • geeze i knew pomona had a bunch of freaky people(YOYO MAN!!!) but dang half human half et people walking about

  • if aliens existed, why wouldn't they just come down and say hi? eh? because they don't exist. period, end of story and checkmate.

  • @Zekkandgrant13 while there can be alot of reasons why aliens would avoid a direct contact, obviously they also have super fucking hi-tech that we cannot detect with all the giant telescope we have on earth, and yet somehow allowing the stupidest in the world notice them... i'd say they are after the stupid poeple, putting destuctive anal probes waiting to be detonate when they are a threat to the rest of humanity, it is indeed a noble act

  • Obama Voters

  • omg I had sleep paralysis not even a week ago

    NO JOKE

    It was so freaky, but I knew that's what it was when I got up

    I wanted to move but I couldn't, so I finaly was able to get my leg up and then I woke up XD

  • @junksmasher Are you serious? I have it everytime when i take a nap during the day. I experience kind of distorted existence, i want to wake up, but can't move. I is different than normal dreaming, reality seems perfectly reflected but scary. What is it?

  • @cantelini It's like your sort of half asleep. You do know that your sort of paralyzed when your asleep right?

    So that you don't move or not to much when you dream

    So if you wake up during that phase, well your conscious while your sort of paralyzed.

    It's probably normal for you though, because our *body clock thing* (I dunno, I'm french ok) usually wakes up at the same time because your periods of sleep are the same for you. So as for you, you always wake up in that phase :P

  • I prefer being abducted by NINJAS and fuck these people are crazy

  • I prefer being abducted by NINJAS

  • i have some missing time. but people actually saw what happened to me. i got off work drove home fed my dog, ate, did some cleaning. then drove to my girlfriends house. the last thing i remember was getting off work then i came to in my gf's driveway. my parents saw me do all this when i got home but i dont remember it. turns out it was insomnia.

  • the first frame of this video says it all

  • 1:58 the aliens have almond shaped eyes? Well, that explains the Chinese...

  • Why, why us whats so great about us that all these alians need to see us. I guess they wonder why ere so fucking stupid.

  • unusual markings, kinda like the imprints from my mattress?

  • her extraterestrial husband = crackhead. the kids = crack babies..

  • man looks like these people really need to get laid lol or they've had way to much acid i cant believe theres people really out there like these people lmfao

  • 8:17

    I'm Wolf Blitzer. You're in THE SITUATION ROOM

  • OMG Inception is fo realz!

  • i got all three of those ssigns every time i smoked weed

  • Its when they have scars that it proves nothing happened to them. There are stories out there when people find strange objects that can't be explained inside of them with no point of entry that you can find on the skin.

    Nearly everyone on this episode is just bullshiting everyone or is completely mistaken about what happened to them.

  • @Diremagic Yea if it sounds like bull it usually is.

  • @Diremagic There are ways to stuff bodies with strange matter without leaving any marks; it's called PLASTIC SURGERY.

  • LOL at the background music @ 0:30, kinda scary

  • l o fucking l at the alien family portraits. and is the alien hunter on reno 911?

  • WTF is wrong with the chick at 6:56? Are u serious? LOL!

  • MISSING TIME

    .

    Wow. I lost an entire afternoon today! I was abducted by youtube

    .

  • They travel ALL the galaxy, to get a chick?

    In my planet, that's LAME...

    But I love spookie alien music

  • I experience missing time whenever I see an episode of Penn and Teller with a lot of fluff in it. I go "okay, I remember they said this and this and that which must've taken 9 minutes but . . . I don't even REMEMBER the other 18 minutes of the episode

    I'm get abducted by aliens whenever I see one of the more lightweight episodes of Bullshit!!!