New Apple Friend Bar Gives Customers Someone To Talk At About Mac Products

[donnk]

apple users = massive tools

[iMajche0]

I need a new friend..

[lordsonnyxixi]

hehe "talk AT"

[smokesomebuddah420]

Colin steiger

[kap10shwetyballz]

Very interesting sir! Haha awesome

[BytheseaMrTodd]

Surprised this doesn't actually exist =_=

[stephthestar90]

brings a new meaning to their "one-to-one" service doesn't it? LOL!

[whyme943]

When does it come to Canada?

[gaminglaps]

between the ferns with zach gil! LOL

[madmaxmadog]

What's weird is that this could really work :|

[dotZodiac]

0:22 "Apple users looking for someone to talk AT", rather than "Apple users looking for someone to talk TO." It's the little things like that which make The Onion so epic.

[KieCuster]

1:30

Should our mayors be good at Sim City lol

[AviciHell]

You can get a $10 iTunes* card for free. You just need to download App Trailers from the APP STORE -OR- the ANDROID MARKET and enter wakespace as the bonus code.

The app is free, so download it and give it a shot. I've received 2x $10 iTunes card so far.

*--You can also choose to receive Amazon, Best Buy, eBay, GameStop, PSN, Wii, or XBL gift cards; there are also -17- other available gift cards not mentioned here (for brevity's sake). Additionally, you can withdraw your money via PayPal.

[TheCommonCritic]

This is obviously fake. Apple doesn't give away anything for free.

[Davidgtatips]

1:38 apple is being racist

[ironmantis25]

this job seems like hell

[audiopilz]

LOVE IT! Amazing production, prob the BEST spoof EVER!!

[Z0mbieS1ayer]

@audiopilz

It's not a spoof, anyone whom tells you otherwise is simply mistaken

[badyearXY]

between two ferns ftw!

[TheSuperskipper87]

In 20 years they probably will actually have this

[h0rnd0917]

Check apple's website for this one

[JimTLonW6]

I think a similar service for train spotters would be overwhelmed by the response.

And one for football fans boring the pants off everyone with their comments that 'the real problem is the lack of creative play in the mid-field'.

[hygog]

love it !

the script writer must be an Apple nerd, and this is for the Apple nerd ! (like me)

[kenop0]

nice play on the call center outsourcing to india

[keyboarddevil]

This would be so awesome. Please someone actually create this service. ROFL

[wind2dk]

Clearly fake since if it was real it would obviously be called iFriend :D

[TheYouwontgetit]

microsoft is already doing this...

[DaGavinX]

Safari better than Firefox. lol This is definitely a joke, for those that may be confused.

[danielzilla60]

you know what's sad... this would probably work ....

[nietzscheprime]

ROFLMAO! @ two Tibetan monks

[TheGeekCoolGuy]

Is it sad that I would buy an iStore?

[thecrazyglopss]

@MrCombatveteran You best be trollin'.

[TENNSUMITSUMA]

1:24 what

what the fuck is an improve troop

[SirAwesumness]

oh my fuck that sounds like gus from rt at 1:40

[TheWye]

the end lololol

[connorolson17]

key words: talk at

[SunGlo49]

Sign petition on behalf of Lea for Ray it is at petitionsite care2 petitionsite look under

activists petitions.

[NickyAmerica]

@SunGlo49

Get the fuck out.

[waynebee]

cunts tbh

[Nickdiaublow]

1:26 is Between two Ferns with Zach Galifinakis from Funnie or Die. :)

[dalesalsa]

HAHAHAHAHAHH TOOO AWESOME... SO True... :)

[MrDeezi]

1:24 they are watching between 2 ferns.lol

[Gasssolo]

"In a diplomatic show of good will, China will be sending two Tibetian monks to the national zoo in Washington" ROFL

[kachekieran]

@MrCombatveteran why wud u bother get windows and linux if mac osx is the most advanced on the planet?

[vjm3]

I'm so eccentric, I make my OWN computer hard and software. Sure it sucks more then anything in the world, but I just FEEL like it's the most advancedhip piece of technology someone can own.

Because afterall, if I don't have someone else's image to live vicariously through, I'm pretty much worthless.

[ZILOGz80VIDEOS]

This is why I still use an Amiga.

[cilibinarii]

@MrCombatveteran Haha butthurt Apple fanboy ^^ Get Linux.

[GarthDunk]

@MrCombatveteran I hope you're just playing devil's advocate here.

[91jmda]

Mac is good but PC Sux because of GUIndows in it, install a good Linux distro and the comp will be faaaaaaaaaaast =D also have a Windows virtual machine handy if ur on GNU/Linux or on OS X ;)

[TheOmnipotentPirate]

@MrCombatveteran My PC runs really fast, never freezes or crashes, and never gets viruses or any shit in the system. Usually the shitty PC's are owned by people who have no idea how to use a computer. or they get the cheap as dirt pcs with awful parts.

[boyuchuadaniel]

In Soviet Russia, iStore setup you

[Naproxenum]

In Japan already are bars with manwhores.

[ScoobyTheMovieGod]

i thought this was real until i saw iStore

[kaziabir1]

Never stop making videos!!

[anonymous1461]

The irony: the "meetings" are there because those people don't know how to fix their own problems. Try fixing them yourself before you ACTUALLY consult someone on a problem that you could do at home (i.e: do the research so you don't ask irrelevant questions). Also, the "overseas" feature is ironic because: you would be speaking to someone of a different language, different way of dealing things, different culture, different technological advancements, etc, etc. Still, hella funny!!!

[YadhiraZ]

Too funny!☺

[PockASqueeno]

This is a joke, right?

[LalitaEsque]

i knew the world wouldn't end in 2012! xD

[14thcolossus]

78 people were watching this video using a safari browser

[neno2010ist1]

APPLE FRIEND:

Oh, yes!

Of course, sir!

That is very interesting!

:DDD

[renindy]

@neno2010ist1

Well said. Its so great that Onion "gets it".

[pnutbuttadelite]

LOL, "people to talk at"

[Iamjustherek]

That would be the most annoying job! LOL

[doglover4001]

this is so useless

[jdivina15]

i wish this was true

[fusskonig]

ANDROID ROCKS

[tEaleE77]

RedLobster opens factory outlet. LMAO

[thyago81]

and yes this "idea" was a funny bit the simpsons had some years ago

[TheIrishpint]

The simpsons did it

[Silivrin1]

Hey you know what, that's not a bad idea!

(well, just the first idea of having someone for all those annoying fanboys&girls to talk at!!)

[WATSONMUTH]

this is unacceptable

[down2one]

1:24 between two ferns ftw!

[Hypercynx]

Firefox can beat Safari any day plus Apple only has 1% of the operating system economy

[elephantattack]

@Hypercynx

Rendering and standars compliance: any webkit-based browser will win every time (safari, chrome, chromium, etc)

Plugins: Firefox

Speed: Webkit

[MrBalonko]

When can i expect iStore Genius bar 3D? :)

[Meganeo5]

Aww, the iStore only has the Genius Bar. I hope the iStore 2G has a Friend Bar!

[CnChenn]

Too bad almost nobody showed up at the VZ Iphone launch. This is news is actually partially true haha

[blizard0717]

Actually this would be a nice idea. This way all those retarded apple fan boys wont be always bragging about their piece of shit Macs to us normal people who actually know that apple fucking sucks.

[thyago81]

@blizard0717 unless you are a programmer/developer/coder etc, then mac beats in anything you can think in therm of cpu performance, i used both and it's an easy choice (and it also annoys me the apple fanboys that make lines to be the 1st buying that fancy new model, and brag too much... creepy), im satisfied with iMac cpu's and the ipod, the iPhone takes a beating from Top HTC's, Samsung Galaxy S and another i don't recall the name atm, and probably that Nexus S i didn't seen yet.

[blizard0717]

@thyago81 You can get the same or better performance in a pc than you can get on a mac (for a cheaper price and full compatibility in hardware and software).

Seriously man. Apple sucks... Big time.

Even fucking Sony beats the shit out of apple.

[thyago81]

@blizard0717 i agree 100% with u on the prices, its way way overpriced, as for the rest, for the things i need out of a cpu, in my line of work at least, i get better options and performance on a boosted imac or a always heavy mac pro (not laptops), but ofc windows still dominate the mass market, it's a matter of personal preference :)

[MICHAELJONSTON]

This was actually the first ever Onion video I ever say, and I actually thought this was a very good idea...

Fuck i'm weird :P

[EthansRidealongs]

i like how at 1:27 their watching between 2 ferns with zach galifankis

[Kemarukun]

Lol, I wonder if people thought this was true even after watching the last 40 seconds...

[name0505]

i love apple but firefox is way better than safari

[thyago81]

@name0505 Opera has the best performance of all browsers, just has less publicity around it, besides that, it beats any test when compared to all others... the one who comes out worst in all tests is, ofc, I.Explorer :P

[wotsup9oo]

wots the point in givin fake news?

[xXChaosHavokXx]

@wotsup9oo It's called satire. It's a form of culture, not a waste of time.

[wotsup9oo]

@xXChaosHavokXx

I din say it was a waste of time, i asked what was the point

[UncleFido]

1:01 haha, reminds me of Segio Chilli from Infomania Current TV show, funny guy, good show

[Blacckkfire]

Firefox is 500x better safari

[haxor98]

I like how the friend bar uses an usb logo, when usb was developed by microsoft, ibm and various other companies not including apple :) 

[VideoGuyNC]

LOLOLOLOL! The sad part is, if Jobs said they "should" do this, crApple heads would naturally do what daddy Jobs said to do. Mac fans are the saddest. P.S. If you went to the crApple store to find the friend bar, and came home crying to mom when it's not there - HaHaHa! crApple sucks!

[Zokunei]

They could totally make money off this.

[kiosterud044]

lol apple would totally do somethin like this.

[whitewolf73]

1:26 = Between Two Ferns. So much win.

[BackSpaceTheGreat]

I purchased the three year warranty, does that include access to the friend bar? And I can't seem to find anything about it on Apple's website, so does anyone know of any friend bars near Detroit?

[falltimestar]

@BackSpaceTheGreat LOL

[BackSpaceTheGreat]

@falltimestar You like that do you? :p

Search The Schizophrenic video by The Onion, it's one of my favourites :)

[hadabenz]

Hahahahah The Indian operator makes me laugh so hard. Onion is Gold !

[tetriminos]

1:42 Is supposed to be a recorded voice that responds every few seconds :D

[Hasselhair]

I'm sorry. But anyone who watches a news bulletin from The Onion and thinks it's even remotely real deserves to be beaten to death with their own shoes!

[itsallenwow]

@Hasselhair no the onions real

[AnotherAwesomeAsian]

71 thought this was fake....

[HerrSpieldose]

I like Apple computers but I think some of the Apple freaks take it too far....

[ads0117]

there is so many stupid people that post the comment FAKE on onion videos

[Nubiex7]

i have a huge list of people who should be sent by force to that bar for all eternity

[donsargent]

GTFO they KNOW THE FUTURE??????????????????

[slovetro]

I love how the title is "Gives customers someone to talk AT about mac products." Hilarious.

[bleiepro]

I would love that!

[BigHillProductions]

1:24 between two ferns!! hahaha

[MrCommenterx]

i love jeff tate

[thehornypuppy]

DON'T GIVE THEM IDEAS GOD DAMN IT!!!

[volgaize]

@thehornypuppy I was actually thinking the same way.

[penkohelan]

find her true love Asian woman #lushfmlk.info#

[funnyglitch]

DX Onion News Network Future isn't supported on my cable!!!!

[LyokoTravels]

I want to get the iStore now :D XD

[hermanoguzman]

Im still not getting all my future news

[psaphirro]

god, i love the onion network.

[PumaOPumaOPumaO]

"New motorcycle airbag throws riders safely into the air"

"Should our mayors be really good at Sim City? Debate and analysis next In The Know"

"10 simple mistakes kids make that cause their parents to get divorced"

I love the Onion

[TENNSUMITSUMA]

@PumaOPumaOPumaO

did you really have to type out all that



[smithcm14]

I bet you someone thought this was real, and is ecstatic!

[eightk790media]

Oh god, this was hilarious. 

[mr3x2x]

but seriously, wouldn't that be soooo creative?

[haymaker710]

I hate when people talk shit about the people who disliked a video just to get a lot of thumbs ups. The only thing I hate more are the ones that post "Thumbs up if you..." just so they'll get the highest rated comment. They're a bunch of grade grubbers.

[k5hi59]

2 words. I want

[roflrandomguy]

It was nice of China to send us some Tibetan monks, lets just hope they don't set themselves on fire or get a hold of gasoline

[obobao]

Fake

[XMediaTV]

@obobao Its not fake, go on Apples Website and click support...



[dongman78]

The people who down-voted this video went to the Apple store looking for the friend bar then they found out that there's no such thing. So they went back to this page and took it out on the Onion. True story.

[newlife720]

@dongman78 Grayson?

[RaynaDJ]

Should mayors be really good at sim city? LOL.

[598sapphire895]

@dangerous5485 now y would we want to do that????

[ccricers]

So, I guess the Friend Bar competes with Starbuck's?

I also look forward to ONN Future News, I want to see how they predict the future.

[LocoGroove]

"Andrea Bennett" is smoking...damn

[Mikeyz94]

Favorites.!!!!!!

LOL istore is so funny!!!

[orion4mm]

God I hate these videos

[evanescent25]

lol ,after that chat you realise the damn thing broke to damn fast

[7footballfanatic7]

Fuck that stupid Vevo Ad

[feckadoodlethe2nd]

Steve Jobs owns a PC.

[appledeveloper1]

Wat the store that's weird I can't wait to see that

[DonKhamairi]

worlds fakest news report channel everr!!!!!!!!!!! theonion suckkssss like helll!!!!!!!! >:O >:O >:O

[Pejorativez]

@DonKhamairi derp :D

[jared743]

@DonKhamairi You apparently do not understand that ALL of The Onion is satire, and is intentionally false. That is why it is funny

[bman462]

<3 that ticker

[jnwpse]

aPple. a Place people love everything

[travis284]

Haha I feel like I annoy my girlfriend talking about apple.

[ParamoreVzla]

LOLL i hate this kind of people i wish this friend bar existed

[znasser1]

some Apple users may take this seriously...

[ThatWasMyPoptart]

I watched this video on my macbook. lol XD

[CooCurrent]

to talk AT lmao

[CooCurrent]

lol, funny because it's basically true for some people:P

[TheShitHatemenow]

hhahaha

[gangoolian]

funny thing is  - apple stores in south africa are called istores

[jpete3027666]

lol Apple users looking for someone to talk at...

[SteelLink623]

OH YES! OF COURSE SIR! THAT IS VERY INTERESTING! lawl xD

[jkk20]

what will TheOnion will come up with next .... they are epicly good ....