As Seen On TV Cafe Sketch

[locosandlogos]

"Then in walks Maxine... waving her whitlow!" If you don't know about a whitlow, it's worth a look on Google... to find it's a lesion on a finger caused by herpes! Very clever humour, very funny. Many a barb can be made in comedy by skirting around the issue with fancy language... that if told in plain language would most likely be offensive or unfunny!

[lincsposter]

Just watched tonight's episode of The Jury... just waiting for Julie to come out with a Victoria Wood punchline! This is excellent TV!

[faalonglongwaytorun]

This is one of my favorite sketches ever. It doesn't matter the mood I always laugh when I see this.

[Riverwideful]

My favourite comedy sketch ever. Sublime.

[dramaticguy]

"We're not having a sweet".

"Very wise with those hips" lol

[launton]

Treading water with their mouths open. They LOVE it!

[80schick67]

"Aren't prawns an aphrodisiac?"

"I wouldn't put it past them!"

Classic!

Victoria Wood is a genius!!

[Woodville34]

What soup dear?

Country Vegetable

What country,Taiwan?

Excellent:)

[lincsposter]

How many of us have actually said "Excuse me, I am a diabetic"? Try it! It either works, or people fall about laughing!

[eternia75]

this still wipes the floor with the majority of todays " comedy " offerings ..script, delivery and performance all sublime...classic Victoria Wood is , for me,comedy-wise, chicken soup for the soul...

[Pablo07169]

I remember watching this back in the 80s when the show was on BBC2 - I roared with laughter then and this still makes me laugh - Victoria Wood is a genius and Julie Walters is a sublime comic actress. So so so funny but in a very English way. ''Excuse me, I'll think you'll find there's SPAM on that'' ;@)

Wonderful - a shame these smart arsed comedians these days aren't half as funny

[dave4work]

Oh i just laughed and laughed. More the second time. "Could we get by please, we're not having a sweet"..."Very wise with those hips"...ROFLMAO!!!

[popazz1]

Watching anything with VW & JW never fails to leave me at the very least beaming,but usually roaring with laughter.How they take 'everyday,ordinary' characters and elevate them to comic genius is nothing short of,well,genius.We see people like these two women every day,& they are exactly like this.I love being in queues behind people like this,just eavesdropping on their conversations.Whatever VW does always seems to be comedy gold.

[nixcails]

There are too lines from this sketch I use regularly. the I never touch prawns one, and the which country taiwan line

[Skaramoosh5]

these women are just beyond compare, simply the best.

[Cryssie64]

Can you imagine that?

No.

[faalonglongwaytorun]

I never get tired of seeing this sketch...always cracks me up! Brilliant, and thanks for the upload!

[AtenRa]

I'm a diabetic! I didn't know we could do that!

[mpj67]

"..very wise with those hips...!" wonderful lines...they don't write comedy like this anymore...

[TallinnTadgh]

@beibhinnx94 That is fantastic , thank you so much beibhinnx94. Of course "that's the colour of our new shower curtain"  and the brilliant beginning with the buttocks "she'll never get hers clenched, take 2 big lads and a wheelbarrow".

priceless, thank you thank you. I have the book at home but travelling longterm so this has really brightened dull days.

[TallinnTadgh]

I've only just discovered these Victoria Wood sketches on youtube but what a joy it has been. This has to be one of the best with Victoria as ever so generous with her writing for Julie who is insurpassable with the manner of her put-downs.

Just one question I have searched in vain for the one where they are cleaners in a bathhouse and Julie points at someone says "that's the blue/colour of our new tiles(?), there..there, those varicose veins". Anyone seen it on here at all?

[Stevewj]

One of my favourite sketches of ALL time!! GENIUS pure and simple!!!!

[giles247]

It doesn't get much better than this.

[Zizourian]

The genius of Victoria Wood is not only in her writing but in her recognition of the genius of Julie Walters. She just stands back and lets Walters shine. That has got to be very rare in the entertainment industry.

[FlamingFairy]

@Zizourian Absolutely - Victoria Wood is SO generous with her lines.

[metalnickie]

Absolute classic!

[eternia75]

" what's the soup dear? "

" country vegetable "

" what country, Taiwan! "

Oh the times i've been tempted to re-enact this sketch at a motorway service station in the cafe!

Just brilliant!

Victoria Wood & Julie Walters - we need a new sketch show please!

Together it's Comedy Gold!

[eggypegles]

very wise with those hips

[MikeyTTTT]

"Oh, I'll say, it's like being continually poked. Can you imagine that?"

"No"

LOL.

[charlotte214]

Im sure the woman at 3:01 played jeans sister in dinnerladies.. :)

That show was brilliant ;D

[MrHalsalli]

@charlotte214 Victoria Wood is well known for keeping a loyal cast in all her shows including Julie Walters, Duncan Preston, Celia Imrie, Anne Reid, Lill Roughley and many others

[theofficialgomm]

i know someone who looks just like Julie in this clip!

[mrwintermoon]

"youve a look of eva brun" love it !!!!!!

[mickstery6]

Its like being continuously poked.

Can you imagine that?

Eh ... no

[rossmcl177]

This is the supreme Victoria Wood sketch. I love everything she does but this has to be the ultimate. Every single line is a winner.

[gayham]

you've a look of eva braun did you know?

absolutely brilliant writing, love Victoria (and Julie!)

[littlenige]

This is quite possibly my favourite comedy sketch of all time. Just brilliant.

[Fatima502]

There was a similarly brilliant sketch in Wood & Walters where Julie complains "Black Forest Gateau ? Looks more like Cardiff Arms Park!".

[MRwonderman1]

"Can we get by please we're not having a sweet"

"Hmm, Very wise with those hips"

Lol! Excellent! It's a shame they don't make things this witty anymore!

[Naoisevl]

The last woman serving is Jack's new girlfriend in Corrie.

[fhbbzzr]

no it isnt

[BlueSmurf10]

@Naoisevl - No she isn't, it's Lill Roughley.

[transmissionends64]

It's like being continually poked - can you imagine that? NO!!!

[TJOOBI1]

'excuse me, i think you'll find theres spam on that'

brilliant dialogue. This is pure brilliance.

[donglabong]

isn't the point exactly that the scene IS a glimpse of the conversation these women are having... it's not about a gag at the end! There's some class lines in this piece, "country vegetable... what country Taiwan?" "Grey Eggs???" and "can I pass I'm a diabetic"...

We need need more VW... that's what we need in this gloomy old recession!

[grai]

does anyone else find the ending of this a bit disappointing?

[aerialkate]

Yeah, a disappointing end to an otherwise brilliant sketch. Can't have everything though...

[grai]

That's right

but it never fails to baffle me that someone who can come up with such a brilliant idea as a cafeteria queue and great characters and amazing one liners ("you've the look of Eva Braun did you know") didn't seem to know how to end it

Maybe she was pressured to just get it finished within the schedule of the show going out and had no choice

It's still a timeless classic though

[feliciter84]

I think it works, because you're a passer by getting a very short glimpse of the women's conversation. You drift in, and drift out, as if passing them in the cue.  There wouldn't be an end, because you know she could keep talking all day.

Victoria Wood's genius in Julie Walters' mouth. Fab combination.

[grai]

watching it again I think the point at the end is that she starts right back at the beginning of the queue bitching about the food all over again

As you say, she just goes on and on

Even the waitress is brilliant in her indifference "drinks are at the end..teas, coffees..?"

[kitnkabootle]

@feliciter84 I like the idea of this sentence "Victoria Wood's genius in Julie Walter's mouth" Quite the visual :)

[grai]

not really what

[homer151]

Julie walters 1st class has always

[giles247]

Fantastic sketch. Does anyone have 'Swim the Channel'? Along with this, it's one of my favourites.

[iloveribena]

"Is that steak?"

"No, probably some poor beast that came a cropper at Beeches Brook!"

Genius!

[uniformskins]

"we're not having a sweet"

"very wise with those hips"

why doesn't the BBC repeat her shows on BBC 1 or 2? It took them 2 decades to release them for sale. They really are clueless.

[Knappa22]

"Excuse me, I think you'll find there's Spam on that!"

ROFL :-D

[leopoldhoob]

Victoria Wood "as seen on TV" is one of the funniest shows ever to appear on TV.see also "Gimme Gimme Gimme"...........

[footlappen]

Its true about the prawns.

[80schick1967]

You've a look of Eva Braun. I love that. Julie Walters is a national treasure!

[jaypo63]

julie walters is absolutely priceless,i love her

[CodyKunLvsGackt]

can anyone give me the name of this setch..I've been looking for the script so I can follow it and memorise it, but I can't seem to find it in the As Seen on TV scetches..

[00George00]

Grey eggs, is that an Arab custom?

[bf989]

Can I thrust by, I'm a diabetic! Fantastic.

[suziespain]

s pam...gippy kidney...continually poked......to heck with it....its ridiculos...........xx

[CousinJerez]

"can I buffalo"

[xxxxRedemptionxxxx]

It doesn't matter how many times you watch it, it still gets the same laughs.

[littlenige]

One of the best ever sketches on tv - period!

[deannausernametaken]

I don't get it. Okay, I think I do. It annoys me though because it reminds me of annoying people. Although... that it the point of the skit!

But geez, it reminds me so well of people I'd rather avoid.

[goldenvirginia100]

This is the all-time most quoted VW sketch. Genius.

[maryporte]

Julie Walters reminds me of me in this sketch when Ime in an attention seeking mood!

[m3zpy]

whats the soup dear? country vegetable-which country,Tiwan

[Edinburgh74]

whats the soup dear? Country vegetable. What country - Taiwan???? lolololol

[beebandloz]

great! Wood and Walters are fantastic. Can I crash by I'm a diabetic hahaha!!!

[yabanci1963]

One of the best comedy writers ever!! Twenty years after this was broadcast, my friends still quote the lines.

[samkurt52]

so so funny :D

[schemie1]

can i crash by im a diabetic-very wise with those hips. one of the best skecthes

[gazzaanrver]

at their very best, so witty, I laughed so much i nearly fell off my chair

[AtenRa]

Oh my god....Eva Braun. That's terrible! And incredibly funny.

[algoyo]

It's like being continually poked. Can you imagine that?

[phill35uk]

Excuse me theres spam on this!

[Xihymn]

Brilliant as always.... but PLEASE post 'At the Chippy'!!!

[garrychelsea]

at the chippy is on already

[Xihymn]

It is, and it has been since one month after I made this comment.

[Xihymn]

Both that, and this, are classics!

[olioc]

aren't prawns an aphrodisiac?

i wouldn't put it past them!

GENIUS

[snuffythewomble]

Hysterical,I love Vicky Wood.

[sasquatch7000]

I love this sketch, Victoria Wood and Julie Walters are absolute legends

[michaelritchie200]

I know a woman who is exactly like the Julie Walters character in this! Love 'em both!

[michaelritchie200]

HAHA! Love it! I always wanted to see the full one of this!