Ricky Gervais, Science (3)

[Zwemer100]

"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap." Galatians 6: 7

Jarvais, your days are numbered.

[shazamy56]

@Zwemer100 shut the fuck up you twat god is nothing but a myth numb nuts

[Zwemer100]

@shazamy56 You brood of vipers, you serpent in the grass, you are full of poison, evil and all corruption.

No, you shut up!

[JesusChristDaily]

@Zwemer100 These morons don't realize Jarvais' missed point. He's right there were millions upon millions of different species of all life on earth. To say that they all crawled from pond scum as single cells outs them as idiots. It's mathematically impossible as well given the time frame. So they thank you Jarvais the nit wit lol.

[postmanpatwwedx]

@JesusChristDaily Due to your grammer it i hard to understand what you are saying but if I am correct I think you are saying it is mathematically impossible for all these species to have developed from single celled organisms. Would you care to explain what you are talking about.

[Zwemer100]

"And so I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven."

Matthew 12: 31

[MaximumAaron]

Notice in the picture from the Noah's Arc children's book.. it's two male lions :P

[frickadele]

After the flood.... Noahie sacrificed some poor schmuck animal... who went on a cruise just to get killed afterwards!? WTF....is god a vampire and likes blood, or what? What's with all the killing of animals who just want to fuck, eat, sleep, shit and die at an old age? What's with the human/animals sacrifices? How sick is that? A god that does that is a bloodsucker. and would be put into straight jacket if he were your neighbor!  But it's GOD so we'll just give Him a "pass by jail" card!

[frickadele]

7:16 BUT.....5 million species of animal DNA... wouldn't take up THAT much room...would it? We all (by now) should know that OTHER civilizations flew (and keep flying) to Earthville. The bible is just a comic book version.... of something so "spaced" out... that down to earth slaves/peasants... easily wrapped their little brains around. Brainwashing and peer pressure and fear of torture or death....sure helped the slaves/peasants to believe the bible.

[vAmpyr616]

5 spiders watched this

[VascusGaming]

No? Nawwww~

[drasteek]

@Tradegyxz If u think being a delusional moron is the same as being a smart moron than sure.

[Tradegyxz]

@drasteek Just saying that you can't prove any of the 2 statements

[barmybear]

I can't wait to go to hell and meet Ricky gervais

[LoverofLiszt]

@barmybear "Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company" - Mark Twain.

[moneshmahtani]

dont put it in a bank you cunt XD 03:11

[Notecrusher]

What's it going to be like when these two fat cunts get on the arc?

[svumunchgirl]

Oh Rickey xxxxxxx

[screenpuller]

@01christian05.... Soooooo, poking fun at christianity & showing it up for the ridiculous superstition that it is.... that's spreading the word? You christians are even more delusional than I thought!

[senapircivan]

no? naaaaahhhhh

[01christian05]

you can tell deep down ricky gervais is a christian, coz his always spreading the word lol. an atheist that doesn't know that his a pastor lool

[taterman1234]

@01christian05 No.

[ovejocke]

@01christian05 wait what?

[jazz4]

@01christian05 Probably one of the dumbest comments I've ever read.

[KrajjanKxmar]

@01christian05 Technically correct. Anyone serious about their religion won't change their opinion based on his routine and anyone undecided may end up researching the fucked up parts he talked about and decide they like the rest. He's probably inadvertently lead to the conversion of one or two people. Still, you're going to experience the obligatory flaming. I'll sweep your cinders into a bin, if you like.

[Borat911]

@01christian05 He's a comedian doing a stand up show for a laugh ... whatever a pastor does, not much laughing is involved so far I know ... just mindless preaching

[VIXLIZ]

@01christian05 You keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep at night.

[ipwnyou121212]

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[beggo321]

I loved when he mentioned poor Karl and the audience burst into applause.

[hstg98]

Brilliant! I love him!!

[FutureAbe]

"Spiders.. fucking spiders. They're always ready, aren't they? ALWAYS ready for action. Always. With their 10 eyes and 8 legs, always ready from every direction, like the fucking matrix!"

[KrajjanKxmar]

@FutureAbe Yes. We heard.

[Knoh]

"Ah, just forget it"

"I can't, I'm a fucking elephant!"

[mAdmAn948]

"we've got wings..."

"We've got feet too."

[scarecrow7758]

oh fuck off wicked.....wreey...fuck offff wickeeed hahaha. ricky you legend

[weponic]

@MyUsernameIsMikee while i agree that religion has no conclusive proof of the existence of God or the age of the Earth Science has no definitive evidence to the contray so Aethiest's are just as ignorant as the God-Squad. Boom.

[edzo1121]

Gervais is a riot but ovbiously he's having a "go." If you take the stories in the bible literally then you're the twonk. This coming from someone who is agnostic and doesn't believe in organized religion.

[xXMrPatrick1207Xx]

@edzo1121 But it's fun to see what it means to take something completely literally :)

[1nsultTo1njury]

@edzo1121 I disagree, there are numerous religious sects that DO take their written works literally. Literal criticism is completely justified.

[MyUsernameIsMikee]

@vit1008

1) god definitely doesn't definitely excist..

2) how can a religious person say anything about hard evidence..

3) how do you know the earth isn't 4.5billion years old? Because I'm pretty sure it's been proven to be around that, and you haven't proven it not to be...

Religion is THE biggest pile of shite and I feel sorry for ignorant cocks like you...

[PhotonMaze]

he always mentions gloucester and i'm from gloucester, woooo!

[PairInstabilityType]

press '0' repeatedly

[Smallville357]

my older bro is a heavy atheist and im a hardcore christian. we'll be getting along just fine playing wii and joking about his girlfriend and lalalalalala but if anything, at all, to do with religion comes up...we're locked into a death debate.

[ArtOfRuin75]

Not 'Laugh out loud' comedy. But very smart and witty nevertheless

[neilaarondudgeon]

@ArtOfRuin75 Are you serious? I cry with laughter at Gervais!!!!!

[joeneylonable]

How is evolution a load of shite you close minded dick. Two words, fuck off

[Inigobalboa]

This guy is surely in my top 5 for stand-up comedy, together with Bill Maher and Chris Rock

[vit1008]

i like gervais... but i hate how he always jokes about religion... as if theres nothing else to talk about. And the world isnt 4.5 billion years old... evolution is a load of shite!!

[vit1008]

@Superbruv07 phhhhaaaah mate... i've lived long past that. Just because someone made a little theory about it, then wrote a book with pretty pictures (which were faked) thats a FACT, doesn't mean its true. Who gives a shit about what ur teacher said... how do they know whats the truth. Evolution has no hard evidence, and dont even mention fossils, they just mean something died at that place... doesn't prove anything.

[VIXLIZ]

@Superbruv07 Why is this post hidden?  I don't see how it got rated down so much with all of the other nonsense comments on here!

[VIXLIZ]

I see now, your post has been marked as spam....because, Superbruv07 you are spamming people with EVOLUTION!

[Smallville357]

@vit1008

OMG. 100% AGREED. GOD IS UP THERE! HE IS! THANK YOU! im so picked on at school for being a christian and wherever i go im always nice to people and they always say "fucking christian" and if i yell at them or say anything that isnt that nice they'll say something like "that wasnt very christian" -.-' pisses me off...

[vit1008]

@Smallville357 Ahh i feel ur pain... i had the same problem too.... everyone having a go at you. Then after i while it kind of led me to believe, maybe there isnt a god. But not long ago I started doing lots of research on this topic... and there is definately a god. I've covered many topics linked to religion aswell like NDE's, the satanic illuminati agenda and evolution (which is just a 'theory' which has been proven wrong many times. Look up Dr Kent Hovind's debate). The truth is somewhere :)

[Smallville357]

@vit1008 it pisses me off but it never shakes my faith. it strengthens them because i know i'm special in the sense that i take all of it because i know, in the end, i'm going somewhere that'll make me completely forget any silly nonsense 9th grade boys conjure up in their puny minds. i think faith is something you have to feel rather than study. i'm sure there's evidence on both sides of the coin, evolution or religion but i feel so complete when i think someones up there watching over me :)

[GodTheHypothesis]

@Smallville357

It really shouldn't piss you off. Religious people should realise that while they have the right to believe whatever they want, a lot of people out there do find it ridiculous. The main problem with Islam in the modern world is that they don't really get this, or refuse to accept it.

[Smallville357]

@GodTheHypothesis

people should just be nicer. ive not once ever told anyone that their beliefs are false....i care too much for their feelings and consider THEIR perspectives....the world should be nicer...thats something we should all aspire to accomplish. be nice.

[GodTheHypothesis]

@Smallville357

If the world worked like that, there would be no progress at all. The way things progress is we challenge all ideas so we can get rid of the bad ones and develop the good ones! If you really think something is true, I don't see why you'd get upset about someone challenging it? You should just tell them why they're wrong. It strikes me that this whole argument from getting insulted has been developed by religions because they know they have no good response.

[VIXLIZ]

@Smallville357 Nice isn't really human nature, now is it? 

[PageofLegend]

@vit1008 You know, under the scientific definition, germs are "just a theory". Do you believe in those?

[VIXLIZ]

@PageofLegend they started off that way and have been proven since then.....it is time to join this century.

[Vekling]

@vit1008 I dont think you understand what a scientific theory is...

[drasteek]

@vit1008 religion is a joke and deserves to be made fun of. That will make limit the amount of retards like you the earth produces.

[Tradegyxz]

@drasteek The guy who shouts "god doesn't exist" is just as much of an idiot as the guy who shouts "god exists"

[wolverine005]

@Tradegyxz The guy who shouts "invisible unicorns don't exist" is just as much of an idiot as the guy who shouts "invisible unicorns do exist".

[Tradegyxz]

@wolverine005 Is that not what I just said?

[wolverine005]

@Tradegyxz Well I was hoping to point out how ridiculous your statement was...

[Tradegyxz]

@wolverine005 But instead you proved it?

[wolverine005]

@Tradegyxz Hahaha, if you want...

[VIXLIZ]

@wolverine005 It seems to me if they are invisible how can anyone know for certain? J/K

[wolverine005]

@VIXLIZ The sad thing is he almost makes a valid point; that nothing can be disproved... then he goes and ruins it by saying if you deny the existence of something that is incredibly unlikely, it is just as stupid as accepting it's existence, which is pretty gosh darn stoopit.

[VIXLIZ]

@wolverine005 I was totally being sarcastic.....I'm sure technology would find a way to prove or disprove it----if it is a living being that means it eats something therefore it has to poop, which means there would be invisible unicorn droppings somewhere, and here is another question would the droppings themselves be invisible or not?

[wolverine005]

@VIXLIZ I wasn't talking about you, I thought it was apparent we were talking about the other guy due to your first comment.

[VIXLIZ]

@wolverine005 Ok just wanting to make sure my sarcasm wasn't lost in print....rainbows.....that's what invisible unicorns poop.....the proof is in the rainbows I tell you!!!!!!!!! LOL (ok I realize I'm probably the only person laughing but if you can't laugh at your own stupidity then really how dare you laugh at any one else?)

[VIXLIZ]

@vit1008 Wow----seriously? A dusty old book(terribly translated) holds more truth than scientific evidence? I bet you are one of those who believe the devil put the dinosaur bones in the ground, eh? You quite obviously know what he is going to talk about so why bother watching?

[Phillyjoe2]

Fatty yellow trousers! Funny as f*ck

[garibaldi54]

Love the fact that about 70% of the yanks in the audience would probably consider themselves christians, even after the show.

[THUMPER726]

To be honest, I think the fish had it good. Bet they didn't have to worry about 2 of each.

[MVPboppin]

waaaaayyyyy got your nose

[chelsealovett23]

i couldn't stop laughing when he started reading to the end

one of the funniest people in the world

[chelsealovett23]

i couldn't stop laughing when he started reading to the end

one of the funniest people he the world

[desentartavira]

shoul we fly? naaaaaah

sure? yap

fucking love this guy

[voodootrash]

he didn't mention that if Noah made a sacrifice after surviving the flood he would be killing one of the pairs of animals; wiping them out forever!!

[Guineapig321]

@voodootrash So, That's what killed the dodo!

[howzzat1eh]

@voodootrash As much as i like your argument...and by jeez i never thought i would be arguing on behalf of the bible!!! But erm if they were on board for 150 days + well then many of the animals could have bred and given birth to new ones...which is actually another arguement as to why it is total bullshit...things like rabbits, flies etc would have multiplied hundreds of times by then...what the fuck were they all eating anyway? My mates dog eats shit loads...let alone 5 million species...

[voodootrash]

@howzzat1eh do you think the dinorsaurs were given the chance to build an ark? or was that just god playing around before he made us?! its all a load of fairytales innit

[happycamperable]

@voodootrash It was the dinosaurs that he sacrificed.

[StationeryVillage]

@happycamperable Or the unicorns. I always wondered where they went.

[happycamperable]

@StationeryVillage hahahahaha

[theunusualsuspectstv]

@voodootrash its because an american audience would go mental lol

[CoreyMost]

@voodootrash Actually genesis 7:2-3 says that he took 7 pairs of every clean animal and 1 pair of every unclean animal. The clean animals were used for sacrifice. Just thought I'd point that out.

[VivaLaNick335]

@voodootrash he killed one of the unicorns

[jaquthehealer]

@voodootrash

he's got more then two when it comes to SACRIFICIAL animals

[47f0]

@voodootrash - Well, of course it's all utter bollocks, but to be fair, re-read your Genesis. There were pairs of "unclean" animals, but only "clean" animals would have been sacrificed, and there were seven of each of these (making storage and feeding an even more untenable problem). The image of only pairs of animals being loaded is, quite simply, not the case.

[Eddie4518]

@voodootrash Yeah the bible says that that animal or species was the "unicorn"

[VIXLIZ]

@voodootrash So THAT's what happened to the unicorn. LOL 

[joeaziz]

how big is that foster can

[Altezza07]

Well fuck american PC'ness.

[VIXLIZ]

@Altezza07 AS an American I agree with this statement 100%!

[RgMFn2904]

FIRST!!!! :D