Chuck Norris facts

[wouter1246]

chuck norris is just an over-estimated american....

hold on someone's at my door

[cyborganic99]

you need something other than blue text, i find myself pausing to read some of the jokes. a couple of them were lame. mostly the ones about card games

[FinalFantasyIXIIII]

chuck norris knows your reading this

[TheExtremeMasterR]

When chuck norris goes to vote

He doesnt vote for barack or other one

He votes for himself

[zembob]

Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber had a singing contest and the loser had to never hit puberty......

[TheMrbaummann]

chuck norris does not ride...

he is faster without a horse

[rihanna495]

274 people are dead

[mclovinleo]

666 likes? am i gonna die?

[belajboy01]

chuck lost his virginity before his dad

[winky7575]

@belajboy01 he got no dad.... but he got a son! they call him God.

[nicothegreat795]

they once made a chuck norris brand toilet paper. but it wouldnt take shit from anybody

[danieltij3]

chuck norris joined the navy on sunday, osama died that same day

[mrloot5002]

chuck norris once kicked a horse in the jaw and ended up with a giraffe

[Kirbysepicchannel]

chuck norris dosent bathe,he stares at himself to get clean

[longer393]

chuck norris can speed on the highway...on a bicycle,he was going 300 km...for every 1 mill of a second

[ireallyhatemufc]

Dinasours was extinct 65 million years ago on 22nd September,

Chuck Norris was born in 21st September 65 million years ago

[maccas1329]

Chuck Norris killed the dead sea

[SuPeRHuMaN3100]

chuck norris can make minute rice in 30 seconds

[wiixbox360mets]

COMMENT DELETED BY CHUCK NORRIS

[veryyyweird]

Chuck Norris can sing better

[mclovinleo]

@kifferdude whoa trippy comment LOL

[TheSilentDeadly]

Press the mute button. Song doesnt fit Chuck Norris.

[jasenrooks2001]

while were telling chuck norris jokes chuck norris is telling bruce lee jokes

[BoasTherkildsen]

Here is a new one: Chuck Norris is so fast that light itself comes a milion years after his fist.

[LostSpider]

If Jack Bauer was gay he will be Chuck Norris

[pumnarak]

Chuck norris can finish masturbation in 2 second.

[DaDutch1988]

chuck norris doesn't use microsoft, he uses megahard

[killerkid123100]

chuck norris is a ginger faggy weakling

[TheCheeshead]

@killerkid123100 dude shut up. we all know that your'e saying that just to get attention. chuck norris could beat anyone's ass with one roundhouse kick.

[killerkid123100]

@killerkid123100 if you dont understand the hypocracy of your comment then youre beyond help

[purerandomness1001]

chuck norris was once biten by a cobra in the leg after five days of unbarable pain the cobra was dead

[hammyownedyou]

as a child whuck norris raiser 4 turtles known today as the ninja turtles

[hyena419]

uʍop ǝpısdn ʇuǝʍ ʇı pɹɐɥ os sıɥʇ pǝʞɔıʞ sıɹɹou ʞɔnɥɔ

[MammutGameplay]

1. Chuck Norris is a Alien 2. He can actually fly 3.He can kill people by throwing his bullet 4.He eats criminals for breakfest 5.His chin is a third fist 6.He can multiply himself 7.Bieber was his tumor 8.Norris doesn't need air 9.Even McTavish is affraid of Chuck 10. He used to be made of wood, but became a ''real boy'' 11.His bicep has biceps 12.His pe.. no no children can read this... (miniscule) 13.His voice is on the Voyager Golden Record to scare other Aliens 14.He is E.T.

[Hydrovah]

Bruce Lee beat up Chuck Norris after the film of Enter the Dragon.

[macrochipss]

They once made Chuck Norris Toilet paper, but it would'nt take shit from nobody.

[macrochipss]

Chuck Norris once drove a ferrari, but it only slowed him down so he got out and walked.

[44fastgun]

Europe separated from North America when it heard Chuck Norris was travelling east

[aaron1232006]

Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound. 

[TheDuuuuuuuuuuuuude]

chuck norris can chew water

[Randomspider123]

If Chuck Norris stares at your eyes for to long, your head will explote into 999999999999999999999999999999­999.9999999999999999999999999 pieces.

[supercool126]

1:49, Don't think that one is needed...

[MaMudkipzIsTrollin]

WMG does not like Chuck Norris.

They WILL be eliminated.

[saberfangwolf7]

jesus can walk on water, chuck norris can swim on land

[gorrilon203]

IT IS SAID THAT CHUCK NORRIS HAS WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION, HE BOUGHT THEM FROM MARIO ALMADA

[fizzybrasil]

This is funny shit.

But why is it that people love this guy so much? Is he just a cool guy to hang with?

[Randomspider123]

@fizzybrasil We love him because he is Chuck Norris, nuff said.

[xyoukilled]

chuck norris is a pussy...hes a fuckin actor

bring it chuck..everyone thinks ur a badass come find me since ur so badass

[Astianax27]

@xyoukilled

Wow really buddy... calm down now

[fortran97]

the boogey man checks under his bed for chuck norris but chuck norris checks under his bed for bieber

[mindfreakfan67]

That may be true but when chuck norris goes to bed, or waits, he looks under his bed for rambo, chuck norris cowers in fear whenever sombody makes an "R" sound chuck norris waits BECAUSE of rambo JOHN RAMBO FTW

[ANATALLICA]

The needy kids on TV send their money to chuck Norris

[HeadShootingMaster]

Chuck Norris plays "Stare" with the statues, and he wins.

[KaruroVarela]

Chuck Norris doesn't use parachute, he lets the floor take the pain.

[NiNjA0RaD]

Chuck norris doesn't need a can opener, for metal is a part of his diet..

[tramen]

Chuck Norris doesn't need sex to get a girl pregnant. He just stares at her

[JDubs878]

Hitler committed suicide after he learned of Chuck Norris' plan to travel back in time to assasinate him, because nothing is more heinously painful than a DBCN (Death By Chuck Norris).

[cybervang]

Chuck Norris never needs to wash his hands, no bacteria stands a chance against his skin.

[numalord7]

chuck norris tears can cure any disease... too bad he never cried

[XjerichoX12]

chuck norris was bitten by a king cobra after 5 hours of agony and pain the cobra died.

[00kelevra00]

NOT Chuck at 2:31

[n0bodyelse]

if you google chuck norris there is one link you don't find chuck norris he finds you

[dragonxj11]

WHY ISNET CHUCK NORRIS IN THE EXPENDABLES

[metsnygiants]

@dragonxj11 probably because chuck is more of a western(ish) movie person

However the people in the expendables are more like war movie stars (like stellone or however you spell it was rambo)

[crunchynacho]

chuck norris sleeps with a gun under his pillow

[agallardo1000]

@crunchynacho he doesn't need a gun

[xelnagav280]

@crunchynacho with a pillow under his gun

[crunchynacho]

@crunchynacho i meant the other way around sorry its confuzing

[xelnagav280]

Comment Removed by Chuck Norris

[agallardo1000]

@xelnagav280 ROLF!

[TheTsugnawmi2010]

When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't move, the world rotates

[carlyeo11]

Chuck Norris removed this comment.............

[justbyhinder]

chuck norris once found himself between a rock and a hard place... only to realize he was standing between 2 mirrors.

[allhailfoamy1]

chuck norris shall never have a hear attack for one simple reason....his heart isn't nearly fool enough 2 attack him

[DimisWargame]

CHUCK NORRIS EATS NESQUICK

[atomichead777]

chuck norris scared the black out of michael jackson

[crazzykillah93]

Blue text fail...

[Andredias164]

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

[Timbrock1000]

Chuck Norris is so fast, he went back in time and roundhouse kicked an astroid to the Earth to kill the dinosaurs. Chuck Norris is employed by NASA to launch the shuttle into space in case the rockets fail. Grizzly bears tremble in fear at the very thought of meeting Chuck Norris in the woods!

[KnowThyself24]

chuck norris doesnt sleep he waitshahahahahbwhahaah epic!

[bigkevfromno]

Weapons of Mass Destruction are awesome. But Chuck Norris shits all over Awesome!

[SuperKlootzak]

hahahahaha i love chuck norris jokes.stndssmthrfckr

[kaptinfancy]

1 second ago

chuck norris counted to infinity....and back

[icedragon59]

in soviet russia YOU beat chu..... no.... wait....... chuck norris still beats you :(

[flamingsmilesofdoom]

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,until chuck norris roundhouse kicked her across the earth into a glacier.

[DarkRoxas36o]

Chuck Norris Ate a Whole sleeping pills and it made him blink

[lanasa8]

The ONLY solution to the United States current political problems is to evolve to a Chucktatorship. Thus creating a Society where anyone would be unwilling to break the law, if anyone did break the law they would IMMEDIATELY turn themselves in due to "chuckprizals" You don't want chuck to find you. Contrary to popular belief the "All Seeing Eye" on the Dollar Bill is Chucks 3rd eye, constantly watching you, if you get out of line, he will get you. *cough* Goldman Sachs

[naal13]

once, chuck norris ran down a street with a massive erection. There were no survivors!!

[rizwanmahmud93]

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

[crypto5000]

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on an unicycle

[ChainsmokingPothead]

chuck norris doesn't get high when he smokes weed, the weed gets chuck norris

[ChainsmokingPothead]

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

[cranialurination]

Chuck Norris got into a testicle counting contest with Lance Armstrong. Chuck won by 5.

[msiterE]

jesus supports the second amendment... LUKE 22:36... He said to them, "But now if you have a purse, take it, and also a bag; and if you don't have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one."... Just thought id throw that out to all the religous fanatics in the comments... it irritates me when people say its a metaphor and then say that resuurection and holy communion really happen... jesus support your right to protect yourself, never

[FinnsWorldOfWonder]

Jeez who let the priests in?

[fayeslover]

Comment and user removed by Chuck Norris

[donx1982]

When chuck norris does push-ups the earth moves down

[arniemonkey]

could you use a worse colour writing that was so hard to read

[fctchk]

When Chuck Norris talks his brain cells register no activity.

[SpencerLee97]

When man tried to be like chuck norris the gun was invented

[pepperfilms27]

Tigers are going exstinked (sorry for the bad grammer) because Chuck Norris don't like tigers

[marko308]

Chuck Norris can put IKEA furniture together.

[OmegaSoftApps]

If you want the best version of Chuck Norris (or any other tough guy) Facts check out iTough Joke Generator on iTunes. You can use any name, save your favorites, customize your toughness, and integrate with your social networks!

See the promo video on our youTube channel!!

[bulldogs195]

god said let there be light chuck norris said let there be god =P

[ighforever]

@bulldogs195 Mr. Norris is a Christian. And he wouldnt approve of using God for a joke.

We Honor God.

Jesus is Lord of all. Amen

Deuteronomy 5:7 Thou shalt have none other gods before me.

9 Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me,

10 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me and keep my commandments.

[Digipatd]

@ighforever Luke 6:41-42

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

It's the word of God.

[ighforever]

@Digipatd dont use God's Holy Word to attack someone, especially when you dont know the Lord Jesus as your Salvation.

The Scripture you just posted wasnt given us by God to shut someone up when you dont agree with them, nor to keep his Children from standing up to evil. Children of God and Servants and Disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, do as God does, Loving, Compassionate, Kind, Gentle, Patient, Virtuous, Self-Sacrificial, and Passionately Opposed to evil.

Jesus is Lord of all. Amen.

[stile1973]

@ighforever Lighten up brother. Jesus is fucking dead. Why? Because Chuck Norris sinned.

[newtubeusername]

blue text is stupid to read, change it,other wise it would be awsome

[chives4you]

Chuck Norris once got bored so he created humans.

[joerogijr]

Chuck norris pittys Mr. T . . . Chuck Norris will die at the end of 2012 but bring everyone with him as well . . . Chuck Norris is your higher powers HIGHER POWER . . . Bruce Lee even understood that when Chuck Norris Loses, Chuck wins! . . .Even if chuck Norris was torn in half you would find a smaller and even meaner chuck norris inside of him. . . Avatars want to be like chuck norris

[14kawa14]

chuck norris couldnt fight his way out of a paper bag

[coolster55]

who would win in a race to the moon batman or superman...chuck norris

[kmelaza]

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".

[UberSpyJ96]

AHAHAHAHAH LMAO xD JAAHAHAH

[metsnygiants]

@kmelaza But chuck norris was the clean up

p.s. he was there during the blast

[kmelaza]

@metsnygiants Chuck Norris doesent clean up, the mess cleans it self up in fear of Chuck Norris.

[grooveclubhouse]

Fact Epic Beard Man was made from DNA from Chuck Norris's nail clippings.

[gewizz2]

who is chuck norris? is he a boxer/?

[DJcoolperson]

chuck norris is an awesome ninja guy who has stared in many movies and also walker texas ranger. he is the coolest person to ever walk the earth

[Lafkoko]

fron the rib of adam comes eva, but from the rib of chuck norris comes out god!!!

[Lafkoko]

one they chuck norris appear in the mortal kombat tournament from that they on is called inmortal kombat

[kysrs0ze]

Do you think its rotation of earth that makes the sun set???

[Guiseppe107]

Why is Chuck Norris such a laughing stock???

[Josh8hood]

jesus walks on water but Chuck Norris swims on land.

[ighforever]

@Josh8hood Mr. Norris is a Christian. And he wouldnt approve of using God for a joke.

We Honor God.

Jesus is Lord of all. Amen

Deuteronomy 5:7 Thou shalt have none other gods before me.

9 Thou shalt not bow down thyself unto them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me,

10 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me and keep my commandments.

[killeritself]

@Josh8hood IN land

[estriker5]

they once made chuck norris toilet paper.... it didnt work out to good cause it wouldnt take any shit and roundhouse kicked it him/her in the face

[MAGGOTmedia]

y ... this font colour is ... mega fail ffs -.-

[RayneOfLyte888]

@MAGGOTmedia

LMFAO in real life!!!!

I was thinking the same thing ROFL for realz!!!

[dafranx]

Tell me if this Chuck Norris fact was taken?

Chuck Norris' tears can cure AIDS. Too bad he never cries, ever; because that makes him a wuss.

[ceronv]

Chuck Norris is Canadian

[flancka]

@ceronv

no he isn't because everyone knows that chuck is the gay pride homecoming queen in san franciso and canadians hate chuck princess norris

[candyshit101]

chuck norris once sky dived in arizona

he promised never to do it again

one grand canyon is enough

[kagereaver]

Fail font color choice...and wmg sux

[LocoGreece]

can anyone tell me the name of the song? o_O

"Breaking news: WMG strikes again"

[XIPM3]

the boogieman checks his closet for chuck norris- but chuck norris checks his closet for FEDOR EMILIANENKO!!!

[yamari789]

and fedor emilianenko checks his closet for your MOTHER!

[XIPM3]

probably- she is a scary woman.

[olieback1]

blue letters? did you actually watch this before posting?

[XIPM3]

i also see blue letters.

[deathunlimited454]

"an apple a day keeps the doctor away" this statement is false, Chuck Norris killed the doctor.

[YURTUBE]

Chuck norris CAN touch MC Hammer

[threebobs]

Could someone subtitle the subtitles.

[samura1dude]

jesus can walk on water; chuck norris can swim through land.

chuck norris had sex in a truck and spilt some cum in a pool of oil... that truck then became known as optimus prime.

[theredferal]

chuck norris doesn't take a crap.. crap takes a chuck norris.

[XIPM3]

hahahahahahaha

[laigar]

Nice text colour agaisnt the background. no really <.<

[FacelessAssasain]

yeah for real, i can barely read it

[juninho91ow]

ñ tinha um fdp p disser q o noem dessa musica era I Want To Know What Love Is

[juninho91ow]

gente qual o nome da musica?

[juninho91ow]

WHatt is the song

[vpl3000]

If you see Chuck Norris,Chuck Norris see you.

If you dont see Chuck Norris,your dead.

[IBeHatinOnU]

chuck norris was out fishing in the gulf... he farted and it later developed into hurricane katrina

[brucenatelee]

I can't see the facts, since the colors blend into the background. What were they? But yeah, WMG is too damn stingy. It's not like anybody is making money off the music. Without most of the music, videos won't even seem right. Almost like Youtube is meant for vlogs and education and nothing else.

[rexthehedgehogGT]

there was no big bang,only god getting kicked in the face by chuck noris

[brucenatelee]

Now that is the Galactic Kick of the Lords.

[ighforever]

@rexthehedgehogGT Dont disrespect God because you want to make a joke. ITs not funny. Respect God and Humble yourself before him and Obey and Serve God.

God will give you such wonderful things if you accept Jesus Christ, his only begotten Son as your Lord and Salvation. Jesus is the most precious Love of his, Perfect pure and Holy: Spotless without sin, and Jesus with such a good and Loving heart offered himself up , a Sacrifice acceptable to God. Amen

John 3:16

Jesus is Lord of all. Amen

[Karlslasher80]

Holy nigger shit!

Warner just has to block or mute videos like Chuck Norris on crack, dont they!

[Kittyslasher69]

I hate Warner Music Group no less than you!

LETS JUST BOYCOTT WMG!

Because I am part of the boycott clan, and I want all to follow suit, even Chuck Norris fans!

[Ponchito99999]

every time you go outside and dont get eaten by a T-Rex, thank chuck norris

[janreimichiro]

chuck norris is the only person who can take chuck norris' roundhouse kicks

chuck norris is the center of the solar system

[janreimichiro]

only two things are permanent...change...and chuck norris

[wotsecalled]

2:30 isnt chuck norris, and it made me piss myself.

[pandamanownes]

chuck norris can cause a big bang by just farting!!

[Gatorsgurl15]

CHUCK NORRIS IS MY HOMEBOY!

[PowerToker420]

not good

[61chars]

i cant read anything

do it a little bit better

[burby8100]

when bruce lee killed chuck norris he woke up.

[wafflecopter08]

chick norris even admitted that he would lose to bruce lee in a fight. hes a badass, but bruce lee invented a martial art... cmon

[burby8100]

every sports athlete are failed clone of chuck norris.

god once said that when sinners die they will get roundhouse kicked by chuck norris. He figure that was too harsh and just send them to hell. that was the best choice.