Need a favour - Critics required

[GPaDLA]

i liked it! :D..

it was cool, i saw it all in my head. My favorite part was young Donald at the Loch.

[indigodawn2]

An effective interpretation of Van Gogh's piece. Well written and descriptive. The ending leaves you thinking and questioning the behaviour and actions of the main character.....a good ending because the scene stays with you. Good work Dunk and good luck with your script writing

[PrincessLotusFlower]

Hey Dunk.

How can I find you on facebook? We need to be friends.

You are hilarious.

[hairy0pothead]

Yeah!

[SauronsEye]

Eternity's Gate....makes sense for the most part but how do you propose, when translated to video, to show that the young couple by the Loch is a younger Donald and his girlfriend? It's not obvious that he's reminiscing.

The ending...got me confused. Is he sad that this is what his life has become...pensioner coach trips or is he sad because he no longer has his lovely girlfriend with him, who we presume was his bride and has now passed away?

Or is he sad cause he didn't end it with the pie?

[littlebuffyfreak]

I do plan on reading both of your scripts, should be next week though I am currently during my exam week in University.. so I should get to studying =)

[antbrawler]

Will be sure to give it a read in abit, nice to see a more personal.. if you like, video from you.

[davisfontanes]

well dunk send me it and I can send it to my friend Matty he is with the william morris talent agency...I can read it and have him read it..THATS A PROMISE

[Italianbrit125]

Over-all I think it was a great read. The only think I would consider changing in the script is using a bit more descriptive language. Some words and scenarios tend to be a bit repetitive. Other than that, I thought you did a lovely job on it!

[rorrt]

i will say the lack of dialogue and the lack of character direction makes it quite hard to follow

but maybe thats because there really is no twist in the film,maybe if the character of Donald stayed in the same room as the young Donald and his girlfriend

because i think that aspect of him seeing his younger self is great

and i think there should be a bigger end, him choking really doesnt warrant the man saying "i think you need this more than me", it somehow seems out of place

maybe some V/O

[MattZildjian]

Well written. but. it was very depressing. I dont know why you would write it, or want to read it. As a script, the lack of dialogue would make the short film almost silent, which seems very artsy. Not my thing but maybe what you wanted. I think it would work better as a written story with your descriptive writing which u wont get from a film. good luck with it anyway!

[AcesTranquility]

Seriously comedy is your area! I would pay for tickets to see you do live stand up...your like a funny version of Chris moyles. Write a sit com... But the script was structured well, good storyline and I really liked it. But my opinion on you doing comedy still stands. Dont just stay on youtube... take it further.

[artistfood]

I havent read it yet but will while im at work but I was wondering why you didnt write something funny. More of your standup personality? :)

[DrumFill09]

i loved it :), it was very descriptive, characters fitted well with the setting very well also :). MAKE MORE :D id love to see more of youre work.