yeath life is good THAT IS BULLSHIT CREPUSCULO. IS A FUCKING MOTHER FUCKER TEXT AND STUPID.paulo coelho best-selling writer, influential critic in brazil enfansis rebellion and courage .paulo is better than that twiligth example 11 minutesThe Alchemist of Words (2001)
I agree. some people hurt others over and over again and some do it as an enjoyment,, I think we need to hold these people accountable for their actions, other wise they will keep abusing us and others. just as we demand of ourselves honorable and good conduct we must also demand it from others. everyone deserves to be treated with respect and honor; given that they do not prove to us otherwise
I always forgive. But you can never forget. It's very little of things for a person to do in order for me not to forgive. Situations seem better for you when you forgive. Wht they do to others you can't control but for you forgiving makes things better but you should never forget because it can happen again you just learn from it
I travel the nation with a statue of Jesus on my dashboard. He causes me to contemplate his wisdom every mile I move forward. I got t his cognition, please respond with your thoughts. I have sent family members this quote from Jesus. "Love your enemy as you love yourself, do good to those that have wronged you" My cognition is this is a daily prayer, practice, duty to reverse bad karma. To spread pro-survival acts to all beings no matter where you have file them in your mind. Thank you Jesus!
Forgiveness is one of the many positive emotions that can bring happiness in your life. When you forgive you make yourself more happier than the person you forgive. It is the one thing for which I love Jesus. He sacrificed his life to teach us forgiveness.
Last summer I had a wonderful experience to forgive myself. The moment was spontaneous but has been a few months now and through reflection, realize that my mental attitude was prepared for this step first, through reading stories, kind and caring comments at your Blog, and books. There was no pressure of 'having to'. It was an experience of feeling my heart open, including the area of the wound, and was also surrounded by loving friends at the time. Thankyou Paulo
I agree. I forgive people but after forgiving them; my trust to the person is already little. What is difficult for me is I am having a hard time forgiving myself, people around me tell me i have the superman syndrome.
It's relative to the gravity of the situation and how often you interact with the offender. If it's a person that you are around all the time I believe you should condition them not to (excuse my english)fuck with you by breaking them down emotionally. I find exposing their weaknesses with a stern dialogue without breaking eye contact always has a great impact. If it's a perfect stranger and they are not threatening bodily harm you should let it go. Forgiveness breeds weakness. IMHO.
@anthonyjperri forgiveness done in a blanket and knee jerk manner breeds weakness, now I am left with anger and regret I did not just forgive...I look like a fool . I feel like a fool. I do not trust people who tell me to forgive and forget. In my situation, my sister ,not the nieces mother, was found out to have resent that I was better looking and really had anger of me she was glad the nieces had done those things, that why she said do not call the police on your own niece..
@anthonyjperri i haven't had enough time in my experience with breaking someone down emotionally to really agree fully with the following, but so far, unveiling this true nature has seemingly hurt the person. he could not deal, approach, or confront himself. it perpetuated feelings of stress, confusion, etc. he may likely have some sort of psychological issues based on his childhood and military life. tmi maybe, but i wanted to share my experience. no regrets but i can't say it "worked" wonders!
I believe it is important to forgive so one does not live with anger in his or her heart. I think its important to remember, so as not to repeat the same mistake and to learn something from the experience.
we can forgive ourselves:and therefore comes changes.because its when we realize what is important to us, then we start to change. and it has nothing to do w the other persons forgiveness, because when we realize that, we ave to start w forgiving ourselves. and therefore comes changes...but thats just what i think..i made a lot of misstakes, but its not before the price is high enough, we start to change.but its we/ and 'us' that has to realize that, despite the other persons willingness2forgive
and pay the highest price; that is what makes you relize and Change. it comes from inside and inner growth. when we are nearly loosing what actually means the most of us. and it comes, despite from the other persons intiative to forgive and forget. because first of all we ave to forgive ourselves. and secondly, to the other person: if you can't forgive, (everyone knows nobody is perfect) but, who are you really to judge? this other person? we don't ave to forgive, but most important is that we
I don't think that is fair, I belive that people who hurt others, and that happends with no "meaning", people make misstakes and regret, and pay a high price of that. The thing you go through when you hurt somebody without meaning it, makes you want to change, if you really regret it, and it has nothing to do with forgivness ore to forget. Change has to come from inside. Because there are people who hurt others a lot of times, and still countinue despite what they loose, but once you realize
Once I change myself I will not attract people who will want to hurt me. But if this already did happen I will try to forgive and forget. More for myself than anyone else. The burden of unforgiveness is too hard to carry around all of your life.. eventually it will weigh you down. Sometimes it will take years to forgive someone... Sometimes it will take all your life but as long as you are willing and pray to God to give you the straight and help ~ He will answer and you will be free.
@LidijaFairbanks You are fine the way you are, don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Just realize that you have to be wary of people and their intentions. I thought I needed to change myself at one time.... but it was just the people around me who wanted me to change for their benefit. Read some books about psychology and personality disorders. Don't always depend on God; depend on yourself(no disrespect to your beliefs). KNOWLEDGE IS POWER! EMPOWER YOURSELF!
@anthonyjperri YOU MAKE A LOT OF SENSE. I gave my food (when they had no way of feeding themselves) and money & their boyfriends jobs. Each one stabbed me in the back. they & their boyfriends at different times stole upwards almost $10,000 worth of items from my house. The problem, I was told let God take care of it the first time it happened. However, I am now sure that attitude, taught the next set to do the same, it happened again with another niece boyfriend.
Paul this is tough. It depends on what happened. Many are always on about you have to forgive and forget or you will get sick. But it has to be an individual's choice. I would forgive, I can do that, but forgetting, I don't think that is always possible. So I agree with you overall. If you do hit back, however, it can continue the cycle. But at the same time, well forgiving is ok but perhaps be cautious of them and don't forget so you won't have the same thing happen again.
when I don't know me I forgive others so very much, when I know myself I forgive me and profit so much more...when I knew neither before I fought and created self defense, even before that I hated many things and many people and attacked myself accidentally. Listening to the angel has been the most humbling and potent experience of my life...feeling both lonely and full of God, saved by inner voices and unique omens.
And also, Mr.Coelho, I wonder how to apply this principle - forgiving but not forgetting - to yourself? Not sure that I'll get a reply, but really, I am in a situation where I've hurt a person many times out of my own confusion, yet I still love him with all my heart. And I have no idea how to prevent myself from hurting him again. Or other people. Or how to restore what have been damaged...
Well, what I've learned from my experience with one of my parents, is that true forgiveness transforms relationships. I do not need to remember the hurt, I do not need to be on guard. Yet If I have a need to be on guard, it means that I didn't forgive. Sometimes it may be good to leave a relationship, for instance, with an abusive husband. But in this situation a transformation needed for a women who suffered, or else she'll end up in the same situation. And being defensive will not help.
You cannot forgive another - because all that this implies is that they abdicate their responsibility onto you - to release them of what they accept and allow - they don't change - this is not Self Forgiveness. Thus each must forgive themselves - and within that you take responsibility for yourself and what has been done to you - to stop cycles of abuse.
In short I find myself in the other and see their world as me and forgive myself, because at the moment I state I forgive another I am not truly forgiving but merely separating myself from the other and judging the other. forgetting is storing experience for another time to experience.
I'd say the point with forgiving (and forgetting!) is that you take responsibility for stopping the cycles of mutual harm - if the other continues his/her harm that is his/her responsibility and there is consequence for that, as all harm is allways only done to self
To stand Equal to all that exists and to Realize we are all products of our environment, allows us to take Self-Responsibility, See what weve missed to see, and Correct ourselves to live so, that Life is honored in all ways; Be a living example for others for All to realize Life as Equality, in Self-Responsibility.
Thus in-essence, there is no Forgiveness. There is only Self-Forgiveness because its about Self-Realization.
Someone who hurts others is most likely to have suffered by others. And because we dont learn to be self-responsible and to see through the patterns of cause and effect often the only way to redeem ourselves appears to be revenge, hurt, to make things even.
Which is why I dont believe in justice as a point of balance of good and evil. It all exists within all, there is no good without evil and visa versa. None of the two can ever win.
Consider that who we are in this reality is mostly what we were taught: Patters we copied from others our environment, parents, peers, schools, movies. We defend those patters as if it's who we are, with a logic that makes us right, and we mostly fail to consider the consequences of who we are and how we exist and participate.
You make sure you do all that is in your power to reveal what is really going-on. Then let go, forget which is an act of forgiving yourself for believing you can save everyone for instance, or believing that you havent done enough. Let go. If there is something more you can do, you will be faced with the same or a similar situation where you can see the point you 'missed'.
After making sure that hurt is not a emotional reaction of ego and that one is clear within oneself and has taken responsibility for ones own experiences (after all, we create our realities according to who we are) one can communicate to the person that has done an act that is unacceptable for Life and show them exactly what is going on. Show them they can be equal to you: responsible, forgiving, acknowledging.
If this is impossible, make it public, take responsibility. And let go.
In relation to the people of your past, to forget only means that you do not define a person to attributes of the past according to your memory and experience of that person which is an act of Forgiveness because you are not limiting the person to something or someone, you actually consider that change and transformation is possible after all, you have changed yourself, why should another not be able to do the same? You wouldnt like others to limit you to their own memory of you.
To forget does not mean that you cannot recall the events and people you faced in your life. It only means that you, in a similar event, are free to act new, instead of remembering your past reactions and thus following them as a program. No rather direct yourself according to what youve realized. Which is the point of transformation, actual change.
*This is the point of forgive and forget forget implies the point of release, the point of not holding-on to anything anymore, the point where I set myself free from past attachments and allow myself to stand as equal and one within myself to move myself.
I used to believe in justice, fairness, being just but I have found that being just is almost impossible because you cannot take responsibility for another. You can forgive yourself and take responsibility for yourself. What you Can do, is: Show another where and how theyve dishonored themselves and accepted themselves as less than who they really are. But in the end, each-one has to forgive oneself. Without forgiveness, no actual change is possible.*
I found that throughout my life I believed that one must be able to see the good in another and thus forgive. With the time I realized that the ability and willingness to forgive has assisted me and allowed me to live a certain strength.
And, when I find myself unable to forgive, I know that Im still holding-on to something, for example blame, anger or regret something that is not allowing me to take absolute Self-Responsibility.
Thus in-fact Forgiveness is an act of Self-Responsibility.
I found that when you Really Actually Forgive you Forget which means you Let Go, because you are no-longer holding-on to something from the past. You have cleared yourself, you stand, you move-on.
I have found it a lot easier to 'forgive' others than to forgive myself. My experience of self-forgiveness and forgiveness as well, is that it is only unconditional if you Stop and never look back. In a moment of Breath you Stop and release yourself of what ever you are holding onto. But what we are only beginning to understand is this 'process' of release instead of being slaves to how other´s influence us, while we blame them for what we experience without taking Responsibility for ourselves
When people "hurt me", I look at why what they did hurt me and why I allow it to hurt me.
Then we can see who we are within that experience and why we base our feelings upon others. And apply self forgiveness for the reactions I had within myself.
Also, not holding another attached to what he/she did in the past is what we all must learn.
I just talk to god about hurts and pray for understanding. Then letting go happens naturally. In many situations especially when younger, hurt feelings came from wounded or bruised ego. Still find forgiving myself much more difficult to achieve because of caring more about the pain I sometimes cause others than other way around. : )
... for me forgiving is accepting.. just accept the person because we dont have the power to change other people.. the secret of forgiving and accepting is LOVING.. just love, love, and love because there is nothing impossible in Love.. GOD BLESS U ALL
I let go to be free of a fearful, heavy or angry heart. But the behavior or action is remembered, so that the cycle is broken and the same pain is not imposed on another. Sometimes I may need to sever ties of association (ongoing harm). To let go with love, and pray for the other. Fighting back is something against my nature. I judge my own actions readily. Thank You Paulo : )
I believe each of us go thru life to learn, and sometimes the best way to learn is also the most hurtful. From an early age I learned that people that hurt you will keep doing it until you stop them because nobody learns the good way. I do not forgive the ones that hurt me neither I forget what they did because I hope someday they learn their lesson and to me thats better than just letting it go.
I think forgiving takes a tremendous amount of time especially if that person was someone you truly loved. As humans, its hard for us 2 just forgive a person who has hurt u b\c its pain that we fear most and so we have a hard time accepting the person again in fear of getting hurt a second time. Now, the idea of forgetting actually doesn't exist b\c even if we say we have forgotten, it will always be there like some sort of scar. To forgive takes time but to forget is what time cannot touch.
I was thinking about the idea of doing something to the one that hurt you. well chances are small that they actually will realise how much their actions hurt another person,,, and they are going to learn their lesson sooner or later just from somebody else, another time,, just life,,, cos if u keep anger and concentrate on it, you start hurting yourself even more,,, so just let it go and heal yourself
If I replace bad with good feelings I am able to forgive. In my opinion it is only possible if you change your point of view, maybe triggered by meeting a special person.
its still there nonetheless...and like what others are saying, it does take 'strength' to forgive because it is hard...and there are times when i think about my situation and want to 'hurt' him back coz being hurt makes you question 'people' and how someone could hurt someone without considering their feelings and hurting u in a cold and callous way :(((...but i know i feel much better and positive about myself if i let go of all the bad energy and negative thoughts by forgiving...
i think that everybody has hurt someone in their lives, no-one is perfect... i just find it humane to forgive and be compassionate
Iv been completely heartbroken recently by someone who i really still 'love' ...I feel very emotionally and physically abused and very hurt to the extent where in reality i should 'hate' this person...but i don't...i forgive i won't forget what he did...its a memory and although u can push your memories away in the dark corner of your mind...
i don't like to hold grudges ,so im the type of person that forgives..in saying that, it is hard to forget because it will always be in your mind,,,but i believe in Karma and so i believe life has a way of dealing with people who hurt others. i think it's a cycle where if u hurt others, u will get hurt back..and it is only when u experience what u did to another person that u learn and become more self aware of your actions..
I consider it a weakness not to forgive. Some people identify themselves by the slights that have been dealt them in life. It takes real strength to forgive and move forward and embrace the one who hurt you. Weak people can't do that.
I forgive but I dont forget and I dont think its even as easy as that. I have found as I have gotten older I tend to confront the situation because its harmful to the other person to let them keep beahving this way. Also I would like someone to stop me if I was behaving badly towards others. I might not like it at the time but it provides a moment to question how I appear to others and to change my actions if possible?
ohh, and i forgive but dont forget. because avoiding, and forgetting is not going to help you learn from the experience, it i'll be like putting a band aid on something on a much deeper issue. The issue would keep popping up because you haven't learned anything from it. and you'll keep on hurting and consequently not forgiving..
is hard to forget when people hurt you because these people have to be important enough for you to be wounded. but holding a grudge would only make things worst because you are cutting more deeply into the wound by not letting it heal. and who knows if the person that betrayed you or hurted you even acknowledges what happen and is living happily while you are catering to sorrow, depression, anger etc... it is better to stand up after a fall than to stay wonded on the floor.
When a memory has this great impact on your life, it is very difficult to forgive and forget. If we are totally honest with ourselves, we do not really fully forgive and forget the persons and the painful memories in our life. I believe that the only way we truly can move on is when a painful memory is replaced by a better one.
I find often by forgiving and forgetting, and showing the person that hurt you that you are going to move on and forget what they did to you and not retaliate back does actually get through to the person.
For example lets say someone throws a racial slurr at me and I look at them and smile or say something completely illogical like "thank you". This sort of non-aggressive behaviour can make and individual feel ashamed of their behaviour.
personally, i find it exhausting to hold a grudge... it takes too much energy - I'm the kind of person that forgives and forgets but at the same time I believe that it's a lesson. Whatever hurt caused reveals a lot a bout a person's nature... their priorities - everything.... and most often than not actions speak much louder than words.
But forgetting, for me it means giving away a part of myself, of my experiences I already made which happened for any reason. So I think: Forgive, but don´t forget. I find it helpful to adjust the way of remembering things, persons, situations... to remember them in a peaceful and not in a agressive way.
I think that it is very important to forgive which sometimes means hard work on yourself & discipline for not falling back again into the state of feeling hurt. Forgiveness makes you lighter & prevents that you are building a protecting wall around you & closing out new experiences.
That incident may stay on our minds but it isn't something we will dwell on if we actually do forgive. I mean we can't just erase things from our minds completely, especially when it affects us.
If we forgive it will be like taking a nice big breathe, we'll continue our lives knowing that we were able to let negative moments in our lifes pass us by and we will also show ourselves that we are strong enough to go past a bad situation and actually see what we can learn about it, because everything happens for a reason.Sometimes it may hard to forget, especially when the incident was terrible.
I believe that forgiving is something that we seriously have to work on and find the courage to forgive others when they harm us. If we hold a grudge against someone we will just be stuck in a little box, we won't be able to move on and learn from the situation.
Forgiving is like a balm to the soul. Forgetting however can erase the mistakes of the past. And it is necessary to remember some events as not to let them happen again!
I'd like to say that forgiveness very important, because in that case we're making our soul and heart clearer and lighter. But what important is forgive and ask for forgiveness.
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I think it depends on how deep the scars go...On the on set a revenge might have to take place before the forgiving and forgetting could take place. Forgiving is easier than forgetting because forgetting something, someone or an event that hurts or to erase it from ones consciousness/subconsciousness entirely requires divine intervention.
On the other hand, not forgiving and holding the hurt has been the spark of much brilliance in the world and have stirred many souls to be consume with PASSION. For isn't it true that we are who we are or where we are at in life because we were fueled by unforgiveness and holding grudges. We make it personal and a crediting them for making us either weaker or stronger. The victim or the survivor. The story teller or the author. WJ
I thought that forgiving was "letting someone off the hook"..I examined the emotions I felt when I was hurt and nursing a grudge. I felt like I was holding them and their friendship prisoner until I "felt" like forgiving them and letting them out. What I discovered was that I was the prisoner. I was the one suffering, I was the one going over and over the alleged crime. Forgiving is something I do for myself. It doesn't require proclamations or even to see them again. God handles forgetting.
I would go for forgive and forget.. not forget what they did but forget them as friends or conection. Of course that depends on the harm caused (by mistake or intent). Is human to make mistakes, I dont know how human is harming others with clear intentionsn though.. And why would we lower our vibrations between people who dont share the same values with us?
My opinion is that if you realy forgive you also foget. But if you just say it , and do not foget then you haven't realy forgiven. I say that from personal experience becuse, if I forget then I have realy fogiven, but if I just say it, later on, I subconciosly try to return the favore somehow.
They're both difficult issues of a person's life. It depends on the situation, on feelings, on that precise moment. Lets say, someone thinks that could never forgive either forget an infidelity, but if that person suffers a love deception, from that loved one, it will probably forgive, but not forget. Because of love.
So, I think there are another aspects influencing: forgive and forget.
But, forgive can be easier than forget, 'cause our mind is very complex, but our heart is pretty benevolent.
Perdonar a una persona q ha herido tus sentimientos de alguna forma estas brindandole otra oporunidad y quiere decir que al recordar lo sucedido, no sients rencor alguno. En pocas palabras perdonar es recordar sin rencor. En la vida siempre nos suceden cosas y tenemos q ser lo mas objetivos posibles en la toma de decisiones, por lo menos yo se q intento hacerlo.. Al momento de perdonar necesitamos tiempo para reflexionar y no dejarnos llevar por las emociones. no tengo mas espacio para comentar
I try to forgive but I can't forget, I don't know how is it going, but permanently stay in heart and mind this kind of hurt not another and feel sad because of that. but I know I did the same. it's neverending cycle of misunderstandings. it really depends on personality, character. but has also connection with karma and consequences. this consequences is pain and understanding that we souldn't ignore ourselves feelings because all we experience is right and natural as we are human beings.
i can easily forget because if someone does something wrong its easy to understand why they did it because ive done wrong things too. But i dont usually forget which means that if the specific person does hurt me again im not going to let the person carry on hurting me and getting away with it. might be wrong of me but i think its quite natural.
if you don't forgive or forget doesn't mean you area bitter person!
to protect ourselves from certain situatuions because we are human.
personally i have removed a friend from my life, he'd done something that i didn't approve. it wasn't for me to forgive as it was done to someone else but i cannot forget. to me this person has proved not worthy of being my friend but guess what the person he has done it to has forgiven him and i find it amaizing after all.
When people hurt me, I have a hard time forgiving dependent upon the offense. I believe that it is impossible to truly forget as forgetting is not having a memory of the event. Our lives are a culmination of the events good or bad and they shape who we are. To completely forget would be to discard a part of life that has shaped your being.
you can forgive easily but forgetting requires an effort since the deed is already in your memory. but all the anger, the hurt, and the feeling of betrayal should go the moment you decide to forgive the person and not to be remembered.
To forgive & to forget. To understand the Circle of Causes & Consequences. To ask our self why all that happening to us. To learn more about our selfs. Nobody's perfect! Simple: JING/JANG and nothing is perchance - nor birthtown, nor homecountry, nor friends, nor extreme situations... Just CARMA & our lifes as tools to fix our souls ;) Shine as a finest diamond & smile in every situation because you understand it ;) BUT U have to learn how & when U have to defend when your life is endangered.
if we are able to forgive and forget is the best of all. Otherwise we create a miserable life (personal experience). It is not a mater of each of us and the other person, but us and life. What we do has a reaction first of all to us. So, we have to do the right thing no mater what. Also there is the danger of doing what they have done to us, which, in that case is also wrong. I don't agree with the role of judgement, this is what life do for all of us.
Es una muy buena pregunta! y creo que todo depende de la situacion en la que la persona se ve involucrada.Hay casos en los cuales es tanto el dolor causado, que el miedo a volver a sentirlo nos impide tanto perdonar como olvidar.Tambien algo que no se perdona es muy dificil que se olvide..siempre algo va a despertar ese recuerdo por mas perdido que se lo coinsidere..o por mas tiempo que haya pasado;no obstante por mas que se perdone,creo q no se olvida a pesar de lo mucho que cueste admitirlo..
Es una muy buena pregunta! y creo que todo depende de la situacion en la que la persona se ve involucrada. Hay casos en los cuales fue tanto el dolor causado, que el miedo a volver a sentirlo nos impide tanto perdonar como olvidar.
I agree with Coelho. I do think it is about being just. Sure you can forgive and foregiveness heals the soul, but forgetting sometimes does undercut justice. One deserves justice and sometimes, when dealing with bad people, not forgetting is a way of achieving that justice. Sometimes you must be black or white when dealing with hurtful people whether your heart likes it or not.
Quando eu era criança, eu me lembro a homilia de um padre, que disse que era mais fácil de perdoar e esquecer que um é você quem decide o que afecta outros e não, portanto, eu decidi aprender com as ações de outros em minha direção e, em seguida, esquecida. E sem querer esquecer perdoar.
If we don't tell them they have hurt us, yea probably they'll go and screw someone else's life up. But i strongly oppose hitting back, revenge and punishment will never work. Fear cannot heal the heart - it actually does the opposite.
When I truly forgive, i might or might not forget. i don't think it matters. Forgiving does not mean accepting the harm done as something rightful, but it means re-accepting the other person and rebuilding the damaged relationship despite the wounds inflicted.
A mi en lo particular, me es mas fácil olvidar que perdonar, tiendo a olvidar el por que me disguste con las personas y solo se que estoy enojada con alguien, poco después suelo perdonar fácilmente por que no recuerdo por que me enoje, o mas bien después de un tiempo me parecen tonterías las razones del disgusto, o lo vez desde otro punto de vista y te parece entupido molestarse por eso, y cuando quieres a esa persona no hay razón para no perdonar.
We should and have to forgive people from the bottom of our hurts. We are not powered not to forgive them. But we shouldn't forget that the person who treated you like that once, can do it 2nd time, too. Forgiving but not forgetting means that we should take out all bad and negative feelings from our heart and soul and keep only Love inside of us.
its so weird i saw this because i am just dealing w/ an issue of forgivness and hurt. I like to forgive because i know that i screw up all the time and God forgives me, and if He gives me that grace I want to give it to others too. About forgetting? I try not to dwell on it because it is bad for the soul and body but at the same time i learn from it, and I know not to be w/ those people who refuse to change and only make you feel bad. hope this was helpful.
When you understand how someone is acting and you get hurt by the actions he does even though you understand the motives you should discuss it with him if you care about him and then forgive... maybe if the person learns from this also forget...but I'm not sure about that..
One of our greatest strengths as human beings is the abbility to look at our past, learn from it, and then apply those lessons to the future. Just as important is our abbility to forgive despite past wrongs. When these gifts come together, a remarkable reaction occurs; a person begins to grow beyond their pain, learns from what has happened, and overcomes the reaction of hate. Forgiveness is not a one time action... it is a process of remembering, learning, and choosing to forgive again.
Sometimes I forgive and forget, sometimes and just think I forgave, because suddenly it all cames back, filling up with all sorts of bad feelings and dragging me down. Sometimes I can' t forget and let it go. It all comes down to your HUMANITY. If you are just human every now and then you will fail, .....
Some I forgive and forget, some I just think I forgave, but every now and then it all cames crawling back, filling my heart of bad feelings and dragging me down. Some I'm not even able to forget and let it go, so how can't I forgive. It all cames down to I strong your humanity is, if you are just human sometimes you will fail and have doubts, but than even God in the Calvary ... althougt He accept it destiny, and DIED FOR US
Forgiving and forgetting is a double edged sword. Forgiving is good for the soul, forgetting is not good for the psyche. I say this because we will continue to allow the same person or another to impart the same hurts or we, ourselves, will impart the same hurts upon others. Its good to remember because we remember the feelings but we can also learn from our experiences... Forgetting allows us to repeat mistakes more often.
If you lose someone you love to a murderer you can forgive the murderer but you cannot forget until the killer is brought to justice and is paying for the crime. You must for your own peace of mind forgive but you cannot responsibly forget if the murderer is on the loose to hurt others. The murderer cannot be allowed to forget his crime even though his forgiven and even though he is remorseful. If he forgets he will kill again.
I think it is very cathartic to forgive the alternative is soul destroying. Not so sure that forgetting is even do-able although time brings its own amnesia.
I agree with JackoFyre, that if the person who is truly sorry, we all need to forget, cz every1 including us makes mistakes, and I may hurt someone too.
Generally I think that one should work on oneself to response immediately in the moment when someone hurts us. To remember someones bad deeds just do us hard time. We should seek wisdom from previous experiences and than apply what we have learned on future occasions but immediately - that is the way to go on with your life :D
I forgive , but I don't forget. But then I think not fogetting completely s also like holding a grudge. I make it a point not to do the same to others, For instance my parents have hurt me in many million ways and I forgave them but I'm completely unable to forget, but since I dont want to hurt them, I just kinda distanced myself from them.
I do forgive, but I do not forget. Maybe later on, when time will pass on, maybe I will forget or just that thing would not matter to me anymore. I believe in second chances, we do not have right to do not give people second chance, everyone can make a mistake. A strong person can forgive, and a weak person will hold their grudge forever.
However I do not forget because I believe that something like that can happen again. So I am being cautious.
I have been there..i have been in first step in a relation and i made a mistake regards to my manner in communication. he tolde me meny times but i did again. my partner refused to forgive me and considered it like miss trust on him. howevere the relation broken up. and from part i get confused more. the idea of forgivingness is far from human thinking. but if i were in his place i think i will forgive him because i need too.
hi , in islamic tradition we are asked to forgive people so that God may forgive our sins .. it's not always easy but as people do faults we do it and we should understand and look for reasons ...
Forget , i think it much more dificult but time is a healing for pain , you can't just click on button and forget , it needs time and peace of soul ... salam
I do not Forgive or Forget. I dont necessarily view that as not being able to let go of the harm that was done to me. I just dont think i have the right to either judge ppl for their actions and therefore, no right to forgive or not forgive. Not my discretion.
There is comfort in forgiveness that i dont think ppl who hurt me deserve having yet I believe in karma. In a just world, ppl should pay for their faults, not for the rest of their lives though. forgiveness will take place eventually.
If the person who has hurt you is truly sorry for what he has done and has mend his ways, I would forgive and forget. No one is perfect and makes mistakes, so he deserves a second chance. That's not to say forgiving and forgetting is easy. That's why you should never betray your friends, because trust once lost is difficult to earn back.
I was hurt; I had to work with it for many years. I never forget and I never forgive what have been done. How can I forget my life? I dont forgive the action of bad people. It is my duty not to forget, there are all too many who have people around that forget and close their eyes. Still I think these experiences, after many years hard work has make me a richer and better person, I know more, I love more, I feel more.... and I am more happy.
Even the bad thinks changed me in a little way, they made me stronger our showed me a different way of life. No i'm not willing to forget - becouse i'm proud to be what i am.I'm proud of my emboss - they are a part of me.
The problem for forgiving and forgetting is, people just need time and accept the situation(whatever it is).When you hurt someone or hurt by someone you can't just forgive or forget it.People can't forget the pain easily.The bigger the pain(emotionally or physically) is longer to forget. Oh and I almost forget: I think the time is the key too. Maybe that's why people say "time heal all wounds."
Once, I beileved that forgiving was so important. Now I know that I must wait for the person to ask me for my forgiveness. I am not the queen of the world; neither am I the teacher. The person needs to develop recognition of the injury done, make some kind of amends and the forgivness can flow out ot the wounded's heart.
i can forgive but it is hard to forget. however, when i said that i have already forgiven the person that hurt me, it has undergone a very long process. that would mean i have already talked to him/her then i tend to treat such event as a lesson. a learning that would be able to mold me as a person. someone just asked me to forgive him and i did. but i told him i cannot forget. but i told him not to worry as those things are a reminder, and they serve as wisdom on how we would act later on.
I am not able to forget totally. All these experiences are not constantly in my present mind but burried somewhere in the back of my mind and when I do sometimes think of them - they hurt in the same way as they did that day - although I really forgave that person a long time ago...
I forgive but i will never forget. It will definitely defeat the purpose of learning. We must learn from our experiences who to trust and when and who not to. Therefore, forgiving is good in certain circumstances, forgetting is a whole different thing. Also, no person can forget anything. Is still there and it will come out sometime in their lifespan
When I forgive someone I vow to forget the pain. For how could you say you forgive when you harbor ill feelings? I would like to say I also vow to forget the act and sometimes I actually do especially when it is not done again/ done again over a long period of time. I would only say I do not forget when it is repeated and I find myself in a quandry as to whether to forgive... again...
I think it's better to forgive and forget if possible but I do think it's usually more reasonable and realistic that people can forgive but don't forget. I think it's best to let people know how you feel whenever possible and only if you think they will be willing to listen. Unfortunately so many people are defensive and cannot admit when they are acting immature or unreasonable. I think it's better to just accept people for who they are-be around them if you get along-don't if u don't...
I don't believe that both are in our hands! Just ask yourself when did you really forget anything & you'll realise that you never did! Memories do lapse & life takes over but only when the person is away!
just in case the story wants to repeat again I will be better equipped to protect myself and handle the situation better... It is MORE about trusting myself in becoming a better decision maker than keeping anger or resentment inside...
As for forgiveness, you have to consider that it's not only about us! That the universe has it's own way to test ppl &exchange roles so those who judged can be judged & know what one does in same condition. So it makes no difference to forgive or not since you really have no control over the circumstances. Just ask yourself can i tolerate seeing the same face that reminds me of the harm everyday? I personally can't!
i believe that we must forgive---but never forget. why? bec if we forget the reasons why we've been hurt or the lessons we must learn, we would never learn and we'd only get ourselves fooled again. sometimes, we even have to teach some lessons to people who've hurt us. but in the end, i believe when we've done everything we could, let's just leave it all to God. Forgiveness isn't easy, but living in hurt is not good as well.
As for forgiveness, you have to consider that it's not only about us! That the universe has it's own way to test ppl &exchange roles so those who judged can be judged & know what one does in same condition. So it makes no difference to forgive or not since you really have no control over the circumstances. Just ask yourself can i tolerate seeing the same face that reminds me of the harm everyday? I personally can't!
As for forgiveness, you have to consider that it's not only about us! That the universe has it's own way to test ppl &exchange roles so those who judged can be judged & know what one does in same condition. So it makes no difference to forgive or not since you really have no control over the circumstances. Just ask yourself can i tolerate seeing the same face that reminds me of the harm everyday? I personally can't!
Lo que trato de decir es que, aunque perdonemos, queda cierto dolor latente en nuestras almas, el cual puede volver si se comete la misma falta 2 veces al menos esa es mi opinión, espero haberle ayudado, mis respetos, su fiel lector Nicolás
Estimado Paulo, cuando alguien te hiere a nivel sentimental, deja una herida, la cual puede cerrarse a través del perdón, pero queda un cicatriz, siempre queda el recuerdo, y entonces cuando esa persona u otra vuelve a abrir esa herida, queda una más grande.
In order to be really and truly free, one has to forgive AND forget. The part that seems to trip a lot of people up is the forget part. I don't think to forget means to literally not remember a certain occurrence. I think it means to not let it have the same sort of destructive power in your present state of awareness. You remember it as an occurrence, yes, but you do not give it power to control your future in any way but a positive one. Forgive and forget. Let it go and turn things around.
Perdonar es olvidar dicen muchos!!!Personalmente se me a hecho mas facil perdonar sinceramente y se me a hecho un poco mas dificil olvidar no que lo deje saber pero el sentimiento de la situacion es muchas veces mas fuerte que el la fuerza de voluntad de perdon.Perdonar es dificil muchas veces no nos podemos ni perdonar nosotros mismo sinembargo cuando se quiere sinceramente encuentras ese espacio que no sabias tener para el perdon.
for me both come in a package. if u say u forgive you must also forget what people did wrong to u. but i think that's not as easy as it may seem. i often easily says i forgive, but yet when someday they hurt me again i'll remember what they did wrong to me and i have the tendency to blame them again. So rite now i choose not to forgive someone if i'm not ready to forgetting what they did. so when i say "i forgive you" it means i also feels ready to let go the past, to forget. ^.^
I think that forgiving is easier than forgetting, because there are situations that cause more harm than others. In my case, I try to forgive and forget, because in that way I feel better with myself. The difficult thing is when I am who is apologizing for something I have done and the person doesn't seem to be sure about forgive me, forget it or both. That's the difference. It's important to learn about every mistake to not make it again.
forgiveness is a choice. forgetting negates learning (and self-preservation, in this case). we are not living if we are not learning. we cannot learn without pain. learning from pain guides us away from negativity and enables us to make choices that enrich our lives. it is understandable to forgive and forget once; everything is not black and white. it is foolish to forgive and forget twice. how many times do you hear 'give me a third chance'? hopefully never.
I tend to forgive easily (which isn't always so good), but it really depends on what's done. Most of the time, I'm able to forgive and forget, while other times some situations have different circumstances that make it more painful and hard to forget. In one case, I forgave someone too much that it ended up doing more harm to me than good. I've honestly never been the vindictive type because I'm fine with letting the universe sort everything out, and I truly believe that's what it does.
Creo que mas importante que perdonar es olvidar, pero ese olvido que le da paz a tu corazon. Porque la gran parte de la gente que nos hiere ni siquiera quiere ser perdonada. Y muy seguramente seguiran hiriendo a mas gente. Pero lo mas imnportante es tener el valor y la sabiduria de seguir con nuestras vidas sin guardar rencores y perdonar solo a aquel que realmente se gane nuestro perdon.
Es un tema bien complicado porque desearia ser uno perfecto y perdonar y/o olvidar pero el problema es que como humano que somos la primera reaccion es el dolor por consiguiente creamos rencor hacia esa persona, despues que se pasa el tiempo pues vamos aceptando que el rencor no es la salida mas inteligente porque nos hacemos dano a nosotros mismos y tratamos fuertemente de olvidar y perdonar. Particulamente no he llegado a esa etapa mas bien me gustaria que la ley del karma se les aplique.
perdonar por supuesto, siempre, pero hay un dicho que dice: perdona a tus enemigos, pero nunca olvides sus nombres ! Dijo Jesus, sencillos como palomas, pero astutos como serpientes, un beso fuerte!! siempre con astucia, por si acaso;)
"El Guerrero de la Luz es dueño del Golpe y el Perdon y sabe usar los dos con la misma efectividad". No toda la gente merece ser perdonada. Es mas, no puedes perdonar a alguien que no se arrepiente. Creo que hay personas que se merecen el perdon pero otras que definitivamente lo que merecen es el golpe, y este debe ser sin piedad. Lo importante es no vivir con rencores, recuerden que la peor de las venganzas es el olvido.
Cierto que quien no se arrepiente no merece perdon, pero tenemos que tener misericordia , un guerrero de la luz, debe tener piedad, es lo primero que debe aprender, piedad y misericordia, dijo jesus que premio tenemos si amamos a los que nos quieren? cierto que debemos perdonar , pero no quiere decir que tengamos que ser amigos de los enemigos, un saludo
Forgive and Forget actually helps us to dissolve the pain that we feel. By not forgetting we keep reminding ourselves of the pain and we do no one harm but ourselves. Yes, we should be more wary of that person and that is human nature. But we should by all means try and forgive totally which means to forget as well because then we are doing ourselves a favour more than the other.
No es tan facil perdonar y olvidar. Realmente perdonar es un don casi divino, que tenemos que practicar todos los dias, pues a veces las heridas del pasado vuelven a aflorar, lo que indica que realmente no se ha olvidado. Es una oportunidad para ser mejores: perdonar y olvidar la ofensa, no por el que nos lastimo, si no por el bien de nosotros mismos.
'Forgiving' is not holding a grudge and 'forgetting' is turning a blind eye. Forgetting has to come with some responsibility to make sure that both parties understand that forgetting it means they've both learned something that prevents the hurt from happening again. I do believe that once the two parties have come to that place - they release the karma of that hurt and move forward.
Sometimes you have it in you to forgive, other times not. The important thing is whether or not you carry it as your own burden. You could simply not associate with the person in question, or you could go on hating them. This only hurts yourself.
Part 1 (in fact it is part 2) I made a mistake when typing...
Once someone hurt me and his daughter asked me to "forgive" but also "forget" I did forgive and forget the hurt but not the episode, although now it is not traumatic. To give a lesson to him... ? So he does not hurt others...? Life is his teacher, life and its mysteries. I am sure about that.
Once a person really hurt me, and I know it was because he felt very hurt from another person. I forgave him, I did not forget the hurting and now it is fine but to forget, it depends, if it is "to forget so to feel ok and not feel revenge" it is healthy. To "forget" from the mind it is impossible, as something traumatic cannot be forgotten but can be overcome.
yeath life is good THAT IS BULLSHIT CREPUSCULO. IS A FUCKING MOTHER FUCKER TEXT AND STUPID.paulo coelho best-selling writer, influential critic in brazil enfansis rebellion and courage .paulo is better than that twiligth example 11 minutesThe Alchemist of Words (2001)
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frenky12 6 months ago
I agree. some people hurt others over and over again and some do it as an enjoyment,, I think we need to hold these people accountable for their actions, other wise they will keep abusing us and others. just as we demand of ourselves honorable and good conduct we must also demand it from others. everyone deserves to be treated with respect and honor; given that they do not prove to us otherwise
thelifeuwant 8 months ago
I always forgive. But you can never forget. It's very little of things for a person to do in order for me not to forgive. Situations seem better for you when you forgive. Wht they do to others you can't control but for you forgiving makes things better but you should never forget because it can happen again you just learn from it
Travoo33 8 months ago
I travel the nation with a statue of Jesus on my dashboard. He causes me to contemplate his wisdom every mile I move forward. I got t his cognition, please respond with your thoughts. I have sent family members this quote from Jesus. "Love your enemy as you love yourself, do good to those that have wronged you" My cognition is this is a daily prayer, practice, duty to reverse bad karma. To spread pro-survival acts to all beings no matter where you have file them in your mind. Thank you Jesus!
chakrachaser 10 months ago
Forgiveness is one of the many positive emotions that can bring happiness in your life. When you forgive you make yourself more happier than the person you forgive. It is the one thing for which I love Jesus. He sacrificed his life to teach us forgiveness.
rajeevcelos 10 months ago
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MsPrakashkumar 10 months ago
Last summer I had a wonderful experience to forgive myself. The moment was spontaneous but has been a few months now and through reflection, realize that my mental attitude was prepared for this step first, through reading stories, kind and caring comments at your Blog, and books. There was no pressure of 'having to'. It was an experience of feeling my heart open, including the area of the wound, and was also surrounded by loving friends at the time. Thankyou Paulo
danceswithcrayons 11 months ago
I agree. I forgive people but after forgiving them; my trust to the person is already little. What is difficult for me is I am having a hard time forgiving myself, people around me tell me i have the superman syndrome.
janhanger 11 months ago
It's relative to the gravity of the situation and how often you interact with the offender. If it's a person that you are around all the time I believe you should condition them not to (excuse my english)fuck with you by breaking them down emotionally. I find exposing their weaknesses with a stern dialogue without breaking eye contact always has a great impact. If it's a perfect stranger and they are not threatening bodily harm you should let it go. Forgiveness breeds weakness. IMHO.
anthonyjperri 1 year ago
@anthonyjperri forgiveness done in a blanket and knee jerk manner breeds weakness, now I am left with anger and regret I did not just forgive...I look like a fool . I feel like a fool. I do not trust people who tell me to forgive and forget. In my situation, my sister ,not the nieces mother, was found out to have resent that I was better looking and really had anger of me she was glad the nieces had done those things, that why she said do not call the police on your own niece..
theytellies2u 10 months ago
@anthonyjperri i haven't had enough time in my experience with breaking someone down emotionally to really agree fully with the following, but so far, unveiling this true nature has seemingly hurt the person. he could not deal, approach, or confront himself. it perpetuated feelings of stress, confusion, etc. he may likely have some sort of psychological issues based on his childhood and military life. tmi maybe, but i wanted to share my experience. no regrets but i can't say it "worked" wonders!
soliveitout 5 months ago
for giving, that is for the benefit of the other person
for getting, that is for your own benefit
resentment is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die
RevolutionaryJam 1 year ago
I believe it is important to forgive so one does not live with anger in his or her heart. I think its important to remember, so as not to repeat the same mistake and to learn something from the experience.
nacadie 1 year ago
we can forgive ourselves:and therefore comes changes.because its when we realize what is important to us, then we start to change. and it has nothing to do w the other persons forgiveness, because when we realize that, we ave to start w forgiving ourselves. and therefore comes changes...but thats just what i think..i made a lot of misstakes, but its not before the price is high enough, we start to change.but its we/ and 'us' that has to realize that, despite the other persons willingness2forgive
chickichicki1 1 year ago
and pay the highest price; that is what makes you relize and Change. it comes from inside and inner growth. when we are nearly loosing what actually means the most of us. and it comes, despite from the other persons intiative to forgive and forget. because first of all we ave to forgive ourselves. and secondly, to the other person: if you can't forgive, (everyone knows nobody is perfect) but, who are you really to judge? this other person? we don't ave to forgive, but most important is that we
chickichicki1 1 year ago
I don't think that is fair, I belive that people who hurt others, and that happends with no "meaning", people make misstakes and regret, and pay a high price of that. The thing you go through when you hurt somebody without meaning it, makes you want to change, if you really regret it, and it has nothing to do with forgivness ore to forget. Change has to come from inside. Because there are people who hurt others a lot of times, and still countinue despite what they loose, but once you realize
chickichicki1 1 year ago
Once I change myself I will not attract people who will want to hurt me. But if this already did happen I will try to forgive and forget. More for myself than anyone else. The burden of unforgiveness is too hard to carry around all of your life.. eventually it will weigh you down. Sometimes it will take years to forgive someone... Sometimes it will take all your life but as long as you are willing and pray to God to give you the straight and help ~ He will answer and you will be free.
LidijaFairbanks 1 year ago
@LidijaFairbanks You are fine the way you are, don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Just realize that you have to be wary of people and their intentions. I thought I needed to change myself at one time.... but it was just the people around me who wanted me to change for their benefit. Read some books about psychology and personality disorders. Don't always depend on God; depend on yourself(no disrespect to your beliefs). KNOWLEDGE IS POWER! EMPOWER YOURSELF!
anthonyjperri 1 year ago
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theytellies2u 10 months ago
@anthonyjperri YOU MAKE A LOT OF SENSE. I gave my food (when they had no way of feeding themselves) and money & their boyfriends jobs. Each one stabbed me in the back. they & their boyfriends at different times stole upwards almost $10,000 worth of items from my house. The problem, I was told let God take care of it the first time it happened. However, I am now sure that attitude, taught the next set to do the same, it happened again with another niece boyfriend.
theytellies2u 10 months ago
Paul this is tough. It depends on what happened. Many are always on about you have to forgive and forget or you will get sick. But it has to be an individual's choice. I would forgive, I can do that, but forgetting, I don't think that is always possible. So I agree with you overall. If you do hit back, however, it can continue the cycle. But at the same time, well forgiving is ok but perhaps be cautious of them and don't forget so you won't have the same thing happen again.
brismike65 1 year ago
when I don't know me I forgive others so very much, when I know myself I forgive me and profit so much more...when I knew neither before I fought and created self defense, even before that I hated many things and many people and attacked myself accidentally. Listening to the angel has been the most humbling and potent experience of my life...feeling both lonely and full of God, saved by inner voices and unique omens.
888Kharami 1 year ago
Forget the former things,, do not dwell on the the past , see, I Am doing a new thing, Now it springs up, do you not percieve it ?
mommamema 1 year ago
And also, Mr.Coelho, I wonder how to apply this principle - forgiving but not forgetting - to yourself? Not sure that I'll get a reply, but really, I am in a situation where I've hurt a person many times out of my own confusion, yet I still love him with all my heart. And I have no idea how to prevent myself from hurting him again. Or other people. Or how to restore what have been damaged...
MsDaryna 2 years ago
Well, what I've learned from my experience with one of my parents, is that true forgiveness transforms relationships. I do not need to remember the hurt, I do not need to be on guard. Yet If I have a need to be on guard, it means that I didn't forgive. Sometimes it may be good to leave a relationship, for instance, with an abusive husband. But in this situation a transformation needed for a women who suffered, or else she'll end up in the same situation. And being defensive will not help.
MsDaryna 2 years ago
is better to learn and forgive ...
lamanoizquierda 2 years ago
You cannot forgive another - because all that this implies is that they abdicate their responsibility onto you - to release them of what they accept and allow - they don't change - this is not Self Forgiveness. Thus each must forgive themselves - and within that you take responsibility for yourself and what has been done to you - to stop cycles of abuse.
AndreaRossouw1 2 years ago
@AndreaRossouw1 spot on Andrea good comment
brismike65 1 year ago
In short I find myself in the other and see their world as me and forgive myself, because at the moment I state I forgive another I am not truly forgiving but merely separating myself from the other and judging the other. forgetting is storing experience for another time to experience.
JornVinceHardus 2 years ago
I'd say the point with forgiving (and forgetting!) is that you take responsibility for stopping the cycles of mutual harm - if the other continues his/her harm that is his/her responsibility and there is consequence for that, as all harm is allways only done to self
thanks for putting out this question
GabrielZamoraMoreno 2 years ago
To stand Equal to all that exists and to Realize we are all products of our environment, allows us to take Self-Responsibility, See what weve missed to see, and Correct ourselves to live so, that Life is honored in all ways; Be a living example for others for All to realize Life as Equality, in Self-Responsibility.
Thus in-essence, there is no Forgiveness. There is only Self-Forgiveness because its about Self-Realization.
BellaBargilly 2 years ago
Someone who hurts others is most likely to have suffered by others. And because we dont learn to be self-responsible and to see through the patterns of cause and effect often the only way to redeem ourselves appears to be revenge, hurt, to make things even.
Which is why I dont believe in justice as a point of balance of good and evil. It all exists within all, there is no good without evil and visa versa. None of the two can ever win.
BellaBargilly 2 years ago
Consider that who we are in this reality is mostly what we were taught: Patters we copied from others our environment, parents, peers, schools, movies. We defend those patters as if it's who we are, with a logic that makes us right, and we mostly fail to consider the consequences of who we are and how we exist and participate.
BellaBargilly 2 years ago
You make sure you do all that is in your power to reveal what is really going-on. Then let go, forget which is an act of forgiving yourself for believing you can save everyone for instance, or believing that you havent done enough. Let go. If there is something more you can do, you will be faced with the same or a similar situation where you can see the point you 'missed'.
BellaBargilly 2 years ago
After making sure that hurt is not a emotional reaction of ego and that one is clear within oneself and has taken responsibility for ones own experiences (after all, we create our realities according to who we are) one can communicate to the person that has done an act that is unacceptable for Life and show them exactly what is going on. Show them they can be equal to you: responsible, forgiving, acknowledging.
If this is impossible, make it public, take responsibility. And let go.
BellaBargilly 2 years ago
In relation to the people of your past, to forget only means that you do not define a person to attributes of the past according to your memory and experience of that person which is an act of Forgiveness because you are not limiting the person to something or someone, you actually consider that change and transformation is possible after all, you have changed yourself, why should another not be able to do the same? You wouldnt like others to limit you to their own memory of you.
BellaBargilly 2 years ago
To forget does not mean that you cannot recall the events and people you faced in your life. It only means that you, in a similar event, are free to act new, instead of remembering your past reactions and thus following them as a program. No rather direct yourself according to what youve realized. Which is the point of transformation, actual change.
BellaBargilly 2 years ago
*This is the point of forgive and forget forget implies the point of release, the point of not holding-on to anything anymore, the point where I set myself free from past attachments and allow myself to stand as equal and one within myself to move myself.
BellaBargilly 2 years ago
I used to believe in justice, fairness, being just but I have found that being just is almost impossible because you cannot take responsibility for another. You can forgive yourself and take responsibility for yourself. What you Can do, is: Show another where and how theyve dishonored themselves and accepted themselves as less than who they really are. But in the end, each-one has to forgive oneself. Without forgiveness, no actual change is possible.*
BellaBargilly 2 years ago
I found that throughout my life I believed that one must be able to see the good in another and thus forgive. With the time I realized that the ability and willingness to forgive has assisted me and allowed me to live a certain strength.
And, when I find myself unable to forgive, I know that Im still holding-on to something, for example blame, anger or regret something that is not allowing me to take absolute Self-Responsibility.
Thus in-fact Forgiveness is an act of Self-Responsibility.
BellaBargilly 2 years ago
I found that when you Really Actually Forgive you Forget which means you Let Go, because you are no-longer holding-on to something from the past. You have cleared yourself, you stand, you move-on.
BellaBargilly 2 years ago
I have found it a lot easier to 'forgive' others than to forgive myself. My experience of self-forgiveness and forgiveness as well, is that it is only unconditional if you Stop and never look back. In a moment of Breath you Stop and release yourself of what ever you are holding onto. But what we are only beginning to understand is this 'process' of release instead of being slaves to how other´s influence us, while we blame them for what we experience without taking Responsibility for ourselves
annabrixthomsen 2 years ago
When people "hurt me", I look at why what they did hurt me and why I allow it to hurt me.
Then we can see who we are within that experience and why we base our feelings upon others. And apply self forgiveness for the reactions I had within myself.
Also, not holding another attached to what he/she did in the past is what we all must learn.
SpamAnn 2 years ago
Forgive is an interesting word...
I just talk to god about hurts and pray for understanding. Then letting go happens naturally. In many situations especially when younger, hurt feelings came from wounded or bruised ego. Still find forgiving myself much more difficult to achieve because of caring more about the pain I sometimes cause others than other way around. : )
danceswithcrayons 2 years ago
... for me forgiving is accepting.. just accept the person because we dont have the power to change other people.. the secret of forgiving and accepting is LOVING.. just love, love, and love because there is nothing impossible in Love.. GOD BLESS U ALL
msmisun12 2 years ago
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girlspring 2 years ago
I have God with me right now with my family....my animals,,,,,which are my family, and all the others.....I LOVE them all...HARD ROW TO HO
Raiderfn31 2 years ago
Forgiving is not forgetting. It is remembering and letting go. Not sure who actually said that but it strikes truth for me.
cookyhere 2 years ago
I let go to be free of a fearful, heavy or angry heart. But the behavior or action is remembered, so that the cycle is broken and the same pain is not imposed on another. Sometimes I may need to sever ties of association (ongoing harm). To let go with love, and pray for the other. Fighting back is something against my nature. I judge my own actions readily. Thank You Paulo : )
danceswithcrayons 2 years ago
never forget,never forgive,,,until they get what they deserve
mhr88 2 years ago
I believe each of us go thru life to learn, and sometimes the best way to learn is also the most hurtful. From an early age I learned that people that hurt you will keep doing it until you stop them because nobody learns the good way. I do not forgive the ones that hurt me neither I forget what they did because I hope someday they learn their lesson and to me thats better than just letting it go.
puratura 2 years ago
I think forgiving takes a tremendous amount of time especially if that person was someone you truly loved. As humans, its hard for us 2 just forgive a person who has hurt u b\c its pain that we fear most and so we have a hard time accepting the person again in fear of getting hurt a second time. Now, the idea of forgetting actually doesn't exist b\c even if we say we have forgotten, it will always be there like some sort of scar. To forgive takes time but to forget is what time cannot touch.
xmusicfr3e 2 years ago
forgiving yes because life goes on and what is on the past should stay there!
forgetting never because the acts off the past are the lessons we must learn don't regret but never have in the future!!
giorgoskel 2 years ago
I was thinking about the idea of doing something to the one that hurt you. well chances are small that they actually will realise how much their actions hurt another person,,, and they are going to learn their lesson sooner or later just from somebody else, another time,, just life,,, cos if u keep anger and concentrate on it, you start hurting yourself even more,,, so just let it go and heal yourself
bugliuks 2 years ago
If I replace bad with good feelings I am able to forgive. In my opinion it is only possible if you change your point of view, maybe triggered by meeting a special person.
fussel67 2 years ago
its still there nonetheless...and like what others are saying, it does take 'strength' to forgive because it is hard...and there are times when i think about my situation and want to 'hurt' him back coz being hurt makes you question 'people' and how someone could hurt someone without considering their feelings and hurting u in a cold and callous way :(((...but i know i feel much better and positive about myself if i let go of all the bad energy and negative thoughts by forgiving...
666scifi 2 years ago
i think that everybody has hurt someone in their lives, no-one is perfect... i just find it humane to forgive and be compassionate
Iv been completely heartbroken recently by someone who i really still 'love' ...I feel very emotionally and physically abused and very hurt to the extent where in reality i should 'hate' this person...but i don't...i forgive i won't forget what he did...its a memory and although u can push your memories away in the dark corner of your mind...
666scifi 2 years ago
i don't like to hold grudges ,so im the type of person that forgives..in saying that, it is hard to forget because it will always be in your mind,,,but i believe in Karma and so i believe life has a way of dealing with people who hurt others. i think it's a cycle where if u hurt others, u will get hurt back..and it is only when u experience what u did to another person that u learn and become more self aware of your actions..
666scifi 2 years ago
I consider it a weakness not to forgive. Some people identify themselves by the slights that have been dealt them in life. It takes real strength to forgive and move forward and embrace the one who hurt you. Weak people can't do that.
benbutt321 2 years ago
I forgive but I dont forget and I dont think its even as easy as that. I have found as I have gotten older I tend to confront the situation because its harmful to the other person to let them keep beahving this way. Also I would like someone to stop me if I was behaving badly towards others. I might not like it at the time but it provides a moment to question how I appear to others and to change my actions if possible?
serendipitytwo 2 years ago
ohh, and i forgive but dont forget. because avoiding, and forgetting is not going to help you learn from the experience, it i'll be like putting a band aid on something on a much deeper issue. The issue would keep popping up because you haven't learned anything from it. and you'll keep on hurting and consequently not forgiving..
iguerra00 2 years ago
is hard to forget when people hurt you because these people have to be important enough for you to be wounded. but holding a grudge would only make things worst because you are cutting more deeply into the wound by not letting it heal. and who knows if the person that betrayed you or hurted you even acknowledges what happen and is living happily while you are catering to sorrow, depression, anger etc... it is better to stand up after a fall than to stay wonded on the floor.
iguerra00 2 years ago
If I cant forget what you did then I never forgave you in the first place !!!
Ekatrini 2 years ago
"maybe it'll heal but it won't forget..."
sweetdeathofsenses 2 years ago
When a memory has this great impact on your life, it is very difficult to forgive and forget. If we are totally honest with ourselves, we do not really fully forgive and forget the persons and the painful memories in our life. I believe that the only way we truly can move on is when a painful memory is replaced by a better one.
baihundra 2 years ago
I find often by forgiving and forgetting, and showing the person that hurt you that you are going to move on and forget what they did to you and not retaliate back does actually get through to the person.
For example lets say someone throws a racial slurr at me and I look at them and smile or say something completely illogical like "thank you". This sort of non-aggressive behaviour can make and individual feel ashamed of their behaviour.
Brrup 2 years ago
personally, i find it exhausting to hold a grudge... it takes too much energy - I'm the kind of person that forgives and forgets but at the same time I believe that it's a lesson. Whatever hurt caused reveals a lot a bout a person's nature... their priorities - everything.... and most often than not actions speak much louder than words.
to0nzy 2 years ago
But forgetting, for me it means giving away a part of myself, of my experiences I already made which happened for any reason. So I think: Forgive, but don´t forget. I find it helpful to adjust the way of remembering things, persons, situations... to remember them in a peaceful and not in a agressive way.
ripcurlysurf 2 years ago
I think that it is very important to forgive which sometimes means hard work on yourself & discipline for not falling back again into the state of feeling hurt. Forgiveness makes you lighter & prevents that you are building a protecting wall around you & closing out new experiences.
ripcurlysurf 2 years ago
That incident may stay on our minds but it isn't something we will dwell on if we actually do forgive. I mean we can't just erase things from our minds completely, especially when it affects us.
keyla978 2 years ago
continued...
If we forgive it will be like taking a nice big breathe, we'll continue our lives knowing that we were able to let negative moments in our lifes pass us by and we will also show ourselves that we are strong enough to go past a bad situation and actually see what we can learn about it, because everything happens for a reason.Sometimes it may hard to forget, especially when the incident was terrible.
keyla978 2 years ago
I believe that forgiving is something that we seriously have to work on and find the courage to forgive others when they harm us. If we hold a grudge against someone we will just be stuck in a little box, we won't be able to move on and learn from the situation.
keyla978 2 years ago
Forgiving is like a balm to the soul. Forgetting however can erase the mistakes of the past. And it is necessary to remember some events as not to let them happen again!
Andragonfly 2 years ago
I'd like to say that forgiveness very important, because in that case we're making our soul and heart clearer and lighter. But what important is forgive and ask for forgiveness.
Shofeart 2 years ago
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Serenartyu 2 years ago
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I think it depends on how deep the scars go...On the on set a revenge might have to take place before the forgiving and forgetting could take place. Forgiving is easier than forgetting because forgetting something, someone or an event that hurts or to erase it from ones consciousness/subconsciousness entirely requires divine intervention.
continues below...
weijundemo 2 years ago
On the other hand, not forgiving and holding the hurt has been the spark of much brilliance in the world and have stirred many souls to be consume with PASSION. For isn't it true that we are who we are or where we are at in life because we were fueled by unforgiveness and holding grudges. We make it personal and a crediting them for making us either weaker or stronger. The victim or the survivor. The story teller or the author. WJ
weijundemo 2 years ago
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weijundemo 2 years ago
mostly forgive, but never really forget .......
Tamarabarcelona 2 years ago
I thought that forgiving was "letting someone off the hook"..I examined the emotions I felt when I was hurt and nursing a grudge. I felt like I was holding them and their friendship prisoner until I "felt" like forgiving them and letting them out. What I discovered was that I was the prisoner. I was the one suffering, I was the one going over and over the alleged crime. Forgiving is something I do for myself. It doesn't require proclamations or even to see them again. God handles forgetting.
Sashia48 2 years ago
I would go for forgive and forget.. not forget what they did but forget them as friends or conection. Of course that depends on the harm caused (by mistake or intent). Is human to make mistakes, I dont know how human is harming others with clear intentionsn though.. And why would we lower our vibrations between people who dont share the same values with us?
odiliacarmen 2 years ago
My opinion is that if you realy forgive you also foget. But if you just say it , and do not foget then you haven't realy forgiven. I say that from personal experience becuse, if I forget then I have realy fogiven, but if I just say it, later on, I subconciosly try to return the favore somehow.
wwerycrazy 2 years ago
They're both difficult issues of a person's life. It depends on the situation, on feelings, on that precise moment. Lets say, someone thinks that could never forgive either forget an infidelity, but if that person suffers a love deception, from that loved one, it will probably forgive, but not forget. Because of love.
So, I think there are another aspects influencing: forgive and forget.
But, forgive can be easier than forget, 'cause our mind is very complex, but our heart is pretty benevolent.
mogueva 2 years ago
Perdonar a una persona q ha herido tus sentimientos de alguna forma estas brindandole otra oporunidad y quiere decir que al recordar lo sucedido, no sients rencor alguno. En pocas palabras perdonar es recordar sin rencor. En la vida siempre nos suceden cosas y tenemos q ser lo mas objetivos posibles en la toma de decisiones, por lo menos yo se q intento hacerlo.. Al momento de perdonar necesitamos tiempo para reflexionar y no dejarnos llevar por las emociones. no tengo mas espacio para comentar
theplaygirl13 2 years ago
I try to forgive but I can't forget, I don't know how is it going, but permanently stay in heart and mind this kind of hurt not another and feel sad because of that. but I know I did the same. it's neverending cycle of misunderstandings. it really depends on personality, character. but has also connection with karma and consequences. this consequences is pain and understanding that we souldn't ignore ourselves feelings because all we experience is right and natural as we are human beings.
demaviell 2 years ago
i can easily forget because if someone does something wrong its easy to understand why they did it because ive done wrong things too. But i dont usually forget which means that if the specific person does hurt me again im not going to let the person carry on hurting me and getting away with it. might be wrong of me but i think its quite natural.
i'd like to know what you really think though.
mayachristou 2 years ago
if you don't forgive or forget doesn't mean you area bitter person!
to protect ourselves from certain situatuions because we are human.
personally i have removed a friend from my life, he'd done something that i didn't approve. it wasn't for me to forgive as it was done to someone else but i cannot forget. to me this person has proved not worthy of being my friend but guess what the person he has done it to has forgiven him and i find it amaizing after all.
lu32blue 2 years ago
When people hurt me, I have a hard time forgiving dependent upon the offense. I believe that it is impossible to truly forget as forgetting is not having a memory of the event. Our lives are a culmination of the events good or bad and they shape who we are. To completely forget would be to discard a part of life that has shaped your being.
amandaj2009 2 years ago
you can forgive easily but forgetting requires an effort since the deed is already in your memory. but all the anger, the hurt, and the feeling of betrayal should go the moment you decide to forgive the person and not to be remembered.
janicekristine 2 years ago
The worst thing is to forget but not to forgive.
polascin 2 years ago
To forgive & to forget. To understand the Circle of Causes & Consequences. To ask our self why all that happening to us. To learn more about our selfs. Nobody's perfect! Simple: JING/JANG and nothing is perchance - nor birthtown, nor homecountry, nor friends, nor extreme situations... Just CARMA & our lifes as tools to fix our souls ;) Shine as a finest diamond & smile in every situation because you understand it ;) BUT U have to learn how & when U have to defend when your life is endangered.
saintmod 2 years ago
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saintmod 2 years ago
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saintmod 2 years ago
if we are able to forgive and forget is the best of all. Otherwise we create a miserable life (personal experience). It is not a mater of each of us and the other person, but us and life. What we do has a reaction first of all to us. So, we have to do the right thing no mater what. Also there is the danger of doing what they have done to us, which, in that case is also wrong. I don't agree with the role of judgement, this is what life do for all of us.
simiisland 2 years ago
Es una muy buena pregunta! y creo que todo depende de la situacion en la que la persona se ve involucrada.Hay casos en los cuales es tanto el dolor causado, que el miedo a volver a sentirlo nos impide tanto perdonar como olvidar.Tambien algo que no se perdona es muy dificil que se olvide..siempre algo va a despertar ese recuerdo por mas perdido que se lo coinsidere..o por mas tiempo que haya pasado;no obstante por mas que se perdone,creo q no se olvida a pesar de lo mucho que cueste admitirlo..
coma1403 2 years ago
Es una muy buena pregunta! y creo que todo depende de la situacion en la que la persona se ve involucrada. Hay casos en los cuales fue tanto el dolor causado, que el miedo a volver a sentirlo nos impide tanto perdonar como olvidar.
Tambien considero que algo que no se
coma1403 2 years ago
I agree with you Paulo. Great question*****
ednavelho 2 years ago
I agree with Coelho. I do think it is about being just. Sure you can forgive and foregiveness heals the soul, but forgetting sometimes does undercut justice. One deserves justice and sometimes, when dealing with bad people, not forgetting is a way of achieving that justice. Sometimes you must be black or white when dealing with hurtful people whether your heart likes it or not.
xxlelexx11 2 years ago
Quando eu era criança, eu me lembro a homilia de um padre, que disse que era mais fácil de perdoar e esquecer que um é você quem decide o que afecta outros e não, portanto, eu decidi aprender com as ações de outros em minha direção e, em seguida, esquecida. E sem querer esquecer perdoar.
maghy3431 2 years ago
Lastly it is to recognize and truly feel that we are all God's children
snowwolfsabertooth 2 years ago
If we don't tell them they have hurt us, yea probably they'll go and screw someone else's life up. But i strongly oppose hitting back, revenge and punishment will never work. Fear cannot heal the heart - it actually does the opposite.
When I truly forgive, i might or might not forget. i don't think it matters. Forgiving does not mean accepting the harm done as something rightful, but it means re-accepting the other person and rebuilding the damaged relationship despite the wounds inflicted.
snowwolfsabertooth 2 years ago
A mi en lo particular, me es mas fácil olvidar que perdonar, tiendo a olvidar el por que me disguste con las personas y solo se que estoy enojada con alguien, poco después suelo perdonar fácilmente por que no recuerdo por que me enoje, o mas bien después de un tiempo me parecen tonterías las razones del disgusto, o lo vez desde otro punto de vista y te parece entupido molestarse por eso, y cuando quieres a esa persona no hay razón para no perdonar.
Un Saludo...
candy2324 2 years ago
We should and have to forgive people from the bottom of our hurts. We are not powered not to forgive them. But we shouldn't forget that the person who treated you like that once, can do it 2nd time, too. Forgiving but not forgetting means that we should take out all bad and negative feelings from our heart and soul and keep only Love inside of us.
mariamarakelyan 2 years ago
its so weird i saw this because i am just dealing w/ an issue of forgivness and hurt. I like to forgive because i know that i screw up all the time and God forgives me, and if He gives me that grace I want to give it to others too. About forgetting? I try not to dwell on it because it is bad for the soul and body but at the same time i learn from it, and I know not to be w/ those people who refuse to change and only make you feel bad. hope this was helpful.
katyburg 2 years ago
When you understand how someone is acting and you get hurt by the actions he does even though you understand the motives you should discuss it with him if you care about him and then forgive... maybe if the person learns from this also forget...but I'm not sure about that..
zalacerne 2 years ago
One of our greatest strengths as human beings is the abbility to look at our past, learn from it, and then apply those lessons to the future. Just as important is our abbility to forgive despite past wrongs. When these gifts come together, a remarkable reaction occurs; a person begins to grow beyond their pain, learns from what has happened, and overcomes the reaction of hate. Forgiveness is not a one time action... it is a process of remembering, learning, and choosing to forgive again.
justinalmeida 2 years ago
Sometimes I forgive and forget, sometimes and just think I forgave, because suddenly it all cames back, filling up with all sorts of bad feelings and dragging me down. Sometimes I can' t forget and let it go. It all comes down to your HUMANITY. If you are just human every now and then you will fail, .....
FatimamsMoreira 2 years ago
Some I forgive and forget, some I just think I forgave, but every now and then it all cames crawling back, filling my heart of bad feelings and dragging me down. Some I'm not even able to forget and let it go, so how can't I forgive. It all cames down to I strong your humanity is, if you are just human sometimes you will fail and have doubts, but than even God in the Calvary ... althougt He accept it destiny, and DIED FOR US
FatimamsMoreira 2 years ago
I just forgive, but do not forget.
Neopetixan 2 years ago
Forgiving and forgetting is a double edged sword. Forgiving is good for the soul, forgetting is not good for the psyche. I say this because we will continue to allow the same person or another to impart the same hurts or we, ourselves, will impart the same hurts upon others. Its good to remember because we remember the feelings but we can also learn from our experiences... Forgetting allows us to repeat mistakes more often.
dionneanaya 2 years ago
If you lose someone you love to a murderer you can forgive the murderer but you cannot forget until the killer is brought to justice and is paying for the crime. You must for your own peace of mind forgive but you cannot responsibly forget if the murderer is on the loose to hurt others. The murderer cannot be allowed to forget his crime even though his forgiven and even though he is remorseful. If he forgets he will kill again.
He must never forget that you forgave and forgot.
swansandtyphus 2 years ago
I think it is very cathartic to forgive the alternative is soul destroying. Not so sure that forgetting is even do-able although time brings its own amnesia.
funkysoulsistar 2 years ago
"Time brings its own amnesia"..
I like that. :-)
mootopia 2 years ago
Forgiving and forgetting are two hard things.
In my case, even if I could forgive, which is already hard for me, forgetting is more difficult.
I think we could not really forgetting bad things other people made us and it is not a question of being good or evil.
We are only humans, with our emotions
Thibouh 2 years ago
I agree with JackoFyre, that if the person who is truly sorry, we all need to forget, cz every1 including us makes mistakes, and I may hurt someone too.
EramZehra83 2 years ago
Generally I think that one should work on oneself to response immediately in the moment when someone hurts us. To remember someones bad deeds just do us hard time. We should seek wisdom from previous experiences and than apply what we have learned on future occasions but immediately - that is the way to go on with your life :D
ivanivanic 2 years ago
i do forgive, but i don´t forget
caceresgini 2 years ago
I forgive , but I don't forget. But then I think not fogetting completely s also like holding a grudge. I make it a point not to do the same to others, For instance my parents have hurt me in many million ways and I forgave them but I'm completely unable to forget, but since I dont want to hurt them, I just kinda distanced myself from them.
EramZehra83 2 years ago
I do forgive, but I do not forget. Maybe later on, when time will pass on, maybe I will forget or just that thing would not matter to me anymore. I believe in second chances, we do not have right to do not give people second chance, everyone can make a mistake. A strong person can forgive, and a weak person will hold their grudge forever.
However I do not forget because I believe that something like that can happen again. So I am being cautious.
BoRoKoLo 2 years ago
I have been there..i have been in first step in a relation and i made a mistake regards to my manner in communication. he tolde me meny times but i did again. my partner refused to forgive me and considered it like miss trust on him. howevere the relation broken up. and from part i get confused more. the idea of forgivingness is far from human thinking. but if i were in his place i think i will forgive him because i need too.
seifmari 2 years ago
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hi , in islamic tradition we are asked to forgive people so that God may forgive our sins .. it's not always easy but as people do faults we do it and we should understand and look for reasons ...
Forget , i think it much more dificult but time is a healing for pain , you can't just click on button and forget , it needs time and peace of soul ... salam
loulaziz 2 years ago
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loulaziz 2 years ago
I do not Forgive or Forget. I dont necessarily view that as not being able to let go of the harm that was done to me. I just dont think i have the right to either judge ppl for their actions and therefore, no right to forgive or not forgive. Not my discretion.
There is comfort in forgiveness that i dont think ppl who hurt me deserve having yet I believe in karma. In a just world, ppl should pay for their faults, not for the rest of their lives though. forgiveness will take place eventually.
Gypochickita 2 years ago
i've been hurt by the people closest to me..and i think i've forgiven them.
but I choose not to forget it..it's my way of saying thanks to my body and soul for getting through the experience and hopefully to learn something
crystalkid1302 2 years ago
If the person who has hurt you is truly sorry for what he has done and has mend his ways, I would forgive and forget. No one is perfect and makes mistakes, so he deserves a second chance. That's not to say forgiving and forgetting is easy. That's why you should never betray your friends, because trust once lost is difficult to earn back.
JackoFyre 2 years ago
I was hurt; I had to work with it for many years. I never forget and I never forgive what have been done. How can I forget my life? I dont forgive the action of bad people. It is my duty not to forget, there are all too many who have people around that forget and close their eyes. Still I think these experiences, after many years hard work has make me a richer and better person, I know more, I love more, I feel more.... and I am more happy.
Hildefromnorway 2 years ago
Why should i forget?
Even the bad thinks changed me in a little way, they made me stronger our showed me a different way of life. No i'm not willing to forget - becouse i'm proud to be what i am.I'm proud of my emboss - they are a part of me.
CouchsurfHost 2 years ago
The problem for forgiving and forgetting is, people just need time and accept the situation(whatever it is).When you hurt someone or hurt by someone you can't just forgive or forget it.People can't forget the pain easily.The bigger the pain(emotionally or physically) is longer to forget. Oh and I almost forget: I think the time is the key too. Maybe that's why people say "time heal all wounds."
keremtapani 2 years ago
somehow it comes out naturally to forgive...
Now forget? ... have tried 2
but no, ... ,
I never forget
aira9art 2 years ago
Once, I beileved that forgiving was so important. Now I know that I must wait for the person to ask me for my forgiveness. I am not the queen of the world; neither am I the teacher. The person needs to develop recognition of the injury done, make some kind of amends and the forgivness can flow out ot the wounded's heart.
mothertwofour 2 years ago
Forgive but do not forget. Make it harder for the offender to regain your trust again.
Jesus said forgive 77 times 7 but he didnt say forget 77 times 7.
I learned that the hard way.
fitzerg 2 years ago
i can forgive but it is hard to forget. however, when i said that i have already forgiven the person that hurt me, it has undergone a very long process. that would mean i have already talked to him/her then i tend to treat such event as a lesson. a learning that would be able to mold me as a person. someone just asked me to forgive him and i did. but i told him i cannot forget. but i told him not to worry as those things are a reminder, and they serve as wisdom on how we would act later on.
katreelya 2 years ago
I am not able to forget totally. All these experiences are not constantly in my present mind but burried somewhere in the back of my mind and when I do sometimes think of them - they hurt in the same way as they did that day - although I really forgave that person a long time ago...
Nera6969 2 years ago
well i believe that forgiving the one who hurt you is the best choice b/c then you would be at peace with yourself spiritually.
Revenge is not the best answer.. it would just darkened our souls.. "Eye for and Eye and the whole world goes blind.."
cesmn08 2 years ago
I forgive but i will never forget. It will definitely defeat the purpose of learning. We must learn from our experiences who to trust and when and who not to. Therefore, forgiving is good in certain circumstances, forgetting is a whole different thing. Also, no person can forget anything. Is still there and it will come out sometime in their lifespan
Skymaster3x 2 years ago
if someone hurts me, i forgive them for being an as&hole. then i make sure i forget them.
i leave it to the law and karma for justice.
not up to me to judge peoples actions. but it is up to me to decide what i kind of people i want in my life.
nycfemale2008 2 years ago
I always forgive but to forget it i need some time... some of it can be forgotten at all but some hurt might not forget at all but still forgiven.
vitrioldrugs 2 years ago
Forgive and forget, but the most important of all: Forgive myself for letting it happen.
cathyavts 2 years ago 2
very good action, forget ourselves to letting it
vitrioldrugs 2 years ago
When I forgive someone I vow to forget the pain. For how could you say you forgive when you harbor ill feelings? I would like to say I also vow to forget the act and sometimes I actually do especially when it is not done again/ done again over a long period of time. I would only say I do not forget when it is repeated and I find myself in a quandry as to whether to forgive... again...
LG0625 2 years ago
I think it's better to forgive and forget if possible but I do think it's usually more reasonable and realistic that people can forgive but don't forget. I think it's best to let people know how you feel whenever possible and only if you think they will be willing to listen. Unfortunately so many people are defensive and cannot admit when they are acting immature or unreasonable. I think it's better to just accept people for who they are-be around them if you get along-don't if u don't...
webbmarniwebb 2 years ago
I don't believe that both are in our hands! Just ask yourself when did you really forget anything & you'll realise that you never did! Memories do lapse & life takes over but only when the person is away!
mabdalaw 2 years ago
I forgive but do not forget...
just in case the story wants to repeat again I will be better equipped to protect myself and handle the situation better... It is MORE about trusting myself in becoming a better decision maker than keeping anger or resentment inside...
castriml 2 years ago
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As for forgiveness, you have to consider that it's not only about us! That the universe has it's own way to test ppl &exchange roles so those who judged can be judged & know what one does in same condition. So it makes no difference to forgive or not since you really have no control over the circumstances. Just ask yourself can i tolerate seeing the same face that reminds me of the harm everyday? I personally can't!
mabdalaw 2 years ago
i believe that we must forgive---but never forget. why? bec if we forget the reasons why we've been hurt or the lessons we must learn, we would never learn and we'd only get ourselves fooled again. sometimes, we even have to teach some lessons to people who've hurt us. but in the end, i believe when we've done everything we could, let's just leave it all to God. Forgiveness isn't easy, but living in hurt is not good as well.
mistyeyedlass 2 years ago
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As for forgiveness, you have to consider that it's not only about us! That the universe has it's own way to test ppl &exchange roles so those who judged can be judged & know what one does in same condition. So it makes no difference to forgive or not since you really have no control over the circumstances. Just ask yourself can i tolerate seeing the same face that reminds me of the harm everyday? I personally can't!
mabdalaw 2 years ago
As for forgiveness, you have to consider that it's not only about us! That the universe has it's own way to test ppl &exchange roles so those who judged can be judged & know what one does in same condition. So it makes no difference to forgive or not since you really have no control over the circumstances. Just ask yourself can i tolerate seeing the same face that reminds me of the harm everyday? I personally can't!
mabdalaw 2 years ago
Lo que trato de decir es que, aunque perdonemos, queda cierto dolor latente en nuestras almas, el cual puede volver si se comete la misma falta 2 veces al menos esa es mi opinión, espero haberle ayudado, mis respetos, su fiel lector Nicolás
canariosdelmonte 2 years ago
Estimado Paulo, cuando alguien te hiere a nivel sentimental, deja una herida, la cual puede cerrarse a través del perdón, pero queda un cicatriz, siempre queda el recuerdo, y entonces cuando esa persona u otra vuelve a abrir esa herida, queda una más grande.
canariosdelmonte 2 years ago
In order to be really and truly free, one has to forgive AND forget. The part that seems to trip a lot of people up is the forget part. I don't think to forget means to literally not remember a certain occurrence. I think it means to not let it have the same sort of destructive power in your present state of awareness. You remember it as an occurrence, yes, but you do not give it power to control your future in any way but a positive one. Forgive and forget. Let it go and turn things around.
DATownes 2 years ago
Perdonar es olvidar dicen muchos!!!Personalmente se me a hecho mas facil perdonar sinceramente y se me a hecho un poco mas dificil olvidar no que lo deje saber pero el sentimiento de la situacion es muchas veces mas fuerte que el la fuerza de voluntad de perdon.Perdonar es dificil muchas veces no nos podemos ni perdonar nosotros mismo sinembargo cuando se quiere sinceramente encuentras ese espacio que no sabias tener para el perdon.
adritika21 2 years ago
for me both come in a package. if u say u forgive you must also forget what people did wrong to u. but i think that's not as easy as it may seem. i often easily says i forgive, but yet when someday they hurt me again i'll remember what they did wrong to me and i have the tendency to blame them again. So rite now i choose not to forgive someone if i'm not ready to forgetting what they did. so when i say "i forgive you" it means i also feels ready to let go the past, to forget. ^.^
raissajs 2 years ago
I think that forgiving is easier than forgetting, because there are situations that cause more harm than others. In my case, I try to forgive and forget, because in that way I feel better with myself. The difficult thing is when I am who is apologizing for something I have done and the person doesn't seem to be sure about forgive me, forget it or both. That's the difference. It's important to learn about every mistake to not make it again.
dane7hc 2 years ago
forgiveness is a choice. forgetting negates learning (and self-preservation, in this case). we are not living if we are not learning. we cannot learn without pain. learning from pain guides us away from negativity and enables us to make choices that enrich our lives. it is understandable to forgive and forget once; everything is not black and white. it is foolish to forgive and forget twice. how many times do you hear 'give me a third chance'? hopefully never.
greencarmella 2 years ago
I tend to forgive easily (which isn't always so good), but it really depends on what's done. Most of the time, I'm able to forgive and forget, while other times some situations have different circumstances that make it more painful and hard to forget. In one case, I forgave someone too much that it ended up doing more harm to me than good. I've honestly never been the vindictive type because I'm fine with letting the universe sort everything out, and I truly believe that's what it does.
IceBirdy1 2 years ago
Creo que mas importante que perdonar es olvidar, pero ese olvido que le da paz a tu corazon. Porque la gran parte de la gente que nos hiere ni siquiera quiere ser perdonada. Y muy seguramente seguiran hiriendo a mas gente. Pero lo mas imnportante es tener el valor y la sabiduria de seguir con nuestras vidas sin guardar rencores y perdonar solo a aquel que realmente se gane nuestro perdon.
yerlin12 2 years ago
Es un tema bien complicado porque desearia ser uno perfecto y perdonar y/o olvidar pero el problema es que como humano que somos la primera reaccion es el dolor por consiguiente creamos rencor hacia esa persona, despues que se pasa el tiempo pues vamos aceptando que el rencor no es la salida mas inteligente porque nos hacemos dano a nosotros mismos y tratamos fuertemente de olvidar y perdonar. Particulamente no he llegado a esa etapa mas bien me gustaria que la ley del karma se les aplique.
ME
SuperLifePlayer 2 years ago
Hola Paulo,
perdonar por supuesto, siempre, pero hay un dicho que dice: perdona a tus enemigos, pero nunca olvides sus nombres ! Dijo Jesus, sencillos como palomas, pero astutos como serpientes, un beso fuerte!! siempre con astucia, por si acaso;)
prinele 2 years ago
"El Guerrero de la Luz es dueño del Golpe y el Perdon y sabe usar los dos con la misma efectividad". No toda la gente merece ser perdonada. Es mas, no puedes perdonar a alguien que no se arrepiente. Creo que hay personas que se merecen el perdon pero otras que definitivamente lo que merecen es el golpe, y este debe ser sin piedad. Lo importante es no vivir con rencores, recuerden que la peor de las venganzas es el olvido.
Se despide su Guerrero de Altisimo Nivel
santey24k 2 years ago
Cierto que quien no se arrepiente no merece perdon, pero tenemos que tener misericordia , un guerrero de la luz, debe tener piedad, es lo primero que debe aprender, piedad y misericordia, dijo jesus que premio tenemos si amamos a los que nos quieren? cierto que debemos perdonar , pero no quiere decir que tengamos que ser amigos de los enemigos, un saludo
prinele 2 years ago
To forgive and forget
is to live and regret
that you gave out your heart
in exchange for a fart
Kthulhu666 2 years ago
Forgive and Forget actually helps us to dissolve the pain that we feel. By not forgetting we keep reminding ourselves of the pain and we do no one harm but ourselves. Yes, we should be more wary of that person and that is human nature. But we should by all means try and forgive totally which means to forget as well because then we are doing ourselves a favour more than the other.
Poonamtn 2 years ago
No es tan facil perdonar y olvidar. Realmente perdonar es un don casi divino, que tenemos que practicar todos los dias, pues a veces las heridas del pasado vuelven a aflorar, lo que indica que realmente no se ha olvidado. Es una oportunidad para ser mejores: perdonar y olvidar la ofensa, no por el que nos lastimo, si no por el bien de nosotros mismos.
muchulito 2 years ago
cierto, el rencor es algo muy malo y enferma a las personas,es lo que más detesto el rencor
prinele 2 years ago
I think all is up to the behavioour of the person who's responsible of your pain...is he aware? does he regret sincerely???
if it is so...no problem...forgive and forget...
if not... forgive maybe...forget never!!!
Barbrizzo 2 years ago
'Forgiving' is not holding a grudge and 'forgetting' is turning a blind eye. Forgetting has to come with some responsibility to make sure that both parties understand that forgetting it means they've both learned something that prevents the hurt from happening again. I do believe that once the two parties have come to that place - they release the karma of that hurt and move forward.
Burgeois 2 years ago
Sometimes you have it in you to forgive, other times not. The important thing is whether or not you carry it as your own burden. You could simply not associate with the person in question, or you could go on hating them. This only hurts yourself.
grasshopa 2 years ago
Part 1 (in fact it is part 2) I made a mistake when typing...
Once someone hurt me and his daughter asked me to "forgive" but also "forget" I did forgive and forget the hurt but not the episode, although now it is not traumatic. To give a lesson to him... ? So he does not hurt others...? Life is his teacher, life and its mysteries. I am sure about that.
CoeurSufi 2 years ago
Part 2
Once a person really hurt me, and I know it was because he felt very hurt from another person. I forgave him, I did not forget the hurting and now it is fine but to forget, it depends, if it is "to forget so to feel ok and not feel revenge" it is healthy. To "forget" from the mind it is impossible, as something traumatic cannot be forgotten but can be overcome.
CoeurSufi 2 years ago