Monty Python - Self-Defense Against Fruit

[Sunnyside186]

Suppose that you do have a 16 ton weight

BUT your getting attacked witha banana

AND he has the gun

[skrat5]

Supposing he has a pointed stick. lol

[sallyg270]

Point-ed Stick!

[Eniacbc]

Pineapple

[Rydn]

How could they not start laughing during the whole sketch?

[hookiebookie1]

Mechanical wheel, we meet again...

[nargles92]

2:10 Come at me, Bro!

[wafflewaffle90]

0:15 he's having a stroke because he's not eating enough fresh fruit!

[RailRoadLogic]

to freaking funny

[BgBuckinChickn]

204 people did not enjoy this video. HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH I just pointed out how many people disliked this.

[JintalaMightySanuk]

Respect

JINTALA

[MiK3i]

did he say 'ALRIGHT CLEVER DICK!' at 5:03? PMSL!

[robertchrismedd]

"whya arent they here"

"you killed them all"

[wintersnowboard]

perhaps they got flu. haha idk why that was hilarious but it was

[onilink422]

The Banana is a Herb.

[Canaderek]

@onilink422 It's true that bananas are not grown on trees like most fruits. The banana plant is a herbaceous plant that produces fruit (bananas). Bananas contains seeds of the plant within and are thus, unarguably, fruits.

Again, bananas themselves are not herbs. They're fruits from a herb plant.

I can appreciate your intent in educating the masses. Just do a little more research or at least choose better wording, or people may think, "Neat! Bananas aren't fruits!"

[14sierramist]

fruit ninja anybody?

[SimsMusicals]

I wish my P.E. lessons were like this,

[freshlemonsandpolice]

I wouldn't want to be attacked by someone armed with a jack fruit!

[BenSpade]

10,184 people want to use pointed sticks

[camobeast100]

I wonder what he would have done if he was attacked with a pear. He probably used a flamethrower on them :)

[MrRexel14]

if its an english show why is defence spelled with an s in the title?

[asdfalicious]

204 people couldn't find a 16 ton weight.

[Hellonagol]

I took an arrow to the knee once... but that was after I was a fruit murderer... (New at this)

[Twaalfvingerigedarm]

@Hellonagol The best thing to do is to quit that please, them "jokes" are not funny. Second, they never were funny really. Yours is funny because you did it completely wrong and it makes no sence at all

[emotrainer4444]

I once beat some one up with blue berries

[TheAngryGreenMan12]

I was eating a banana while watching this.

[forte8910]

@TheAngryGreenMan12 So you're a mmmmm...beeeyetch, that likes mmmmm...bananas?

[Broezzz]

So how do I defend myself from someone armed with a pointed stick?

*gets shot*

[MrBlah15000]

@Broezzz Shut Up!

[MrBuch169169]

The 16-ton weight is just one wa- JUST. ONE. WAY.

[faladith]

that's a cougar, not a tiger

[2334523]

point head sticks......:)

[rederci939]

The real question is, what about a durian?

[TaftBrigmon420]

You try that with a pineapple down your wind pipe!

[malvard20]

robot chicken got me here

[stitch99]

They sure got their money's worth out of that 16 Tons prop.

[TheCasualCommenter]

He must have invented fruit ninja...

[MrOmegatronic]

*throws a tomato*

Whatcha got against that, eh?

[BEPhyperscooter]

like someone who attacks you with a point-ed stick

[AtomicProductions98]

204 people were attacked by someone armed with a point-ed stick.

[hattrickster33]

Damn John Cleese is tall...

[frankeyboi87]

Favourite monty python sketch ever!!!

[frankeyboi87]

Favourite monty pythons sketch ever!!!!!

[gg44199817]

hahaha poor eric docent get to learn how to defend him self against someone armed with a pointed stick and he gets eaten by a tiger along with micheal!!!

[IRAWRKOOKIES]

that was a lion.

[StarlingClarice1]

@IRAWRKOOKIES It was a tiger, just a really fake one.

[MrZhabadasher]

While I was eating this, I was eating an entire bowl of fresh cranberries.

[hobbitgirl26]

@MrZhabadasher YOU ATE THE SKETCH?!? *Gasp* YOU FIEND!!!!

(I know what you meant ^-^)

[CherryWallop]

5:03 did he call them cleverdicks?

[TheChucknorris123432]

@CherryWallop yea he did

[Taxmansgirl]

Point-ed sticks. :)

[Kizales]

So that's why there are people missing from class...

[Gamemaster411]

Every chance I get I say "and pointed sticks", that and "Goooood a night a ding ding ding ding ding ding"

[rockoqatsi]

Bog bless his vocal cords....

[iamdragonborn]

i used to be a an expert on Self-Defense Against Fruit... the i took a banana to the knee

[MrJollySmalls]

We need a time machine and 200+ condoms!

[faeriegirl20]

some one is a bit paranoid

[sonicfan1100]

203 people asked about a 3rd way to kill someone wit raspberries...that dislike is the last thing they ever did before I *looks at username below*

[releasethetiger]

@sonicfan1100 Or before I *looks at my username below* :)

[sonicfan1100]

@releasethetiger ._. that's what I meant, dude.

[releasethetiger]

@sonicfan1100 OK, cool. That's what I get for going on youtube under the influence of Jack Daniels. Merry Christmas :)

[sonicfan1100]

@releasethetiger XD nice. merry christmas to u 2.

[gc2467]

dam white belts

[TheJoseph4774]

What do you do if your attacked by a man with a fuzzy blanket?

[releasethetiger]

@TheJoseph4774 Well, then you..........(read my username)

[OrangeBandanna]

10,017 people were attacked by fruit.

[Tenorsax621]

203 people keep asking about pointED sticks

[CreeperKillerPro]

He pointedly said pointed stick... XD

[Littlebigmoon]

What happens if he comes at you with the banana and you don' got a gun? .....Run for it.

[hastyberford]

The deceased, Mr. Apricot, is disarmed.

[HowlMagic95]

First, you force them to drop the banana. XX

[girlishgamer1]

It doesn't matter how many times I watch this sketch, it get's me every time.

[octopus9991]

@pwfordever how would they watch the video if the were dead?

[PunksOfNature]

Just the way that dude says 'Pointed Stick' makes me laugh XD

[releasethetiger]

Now the first thing to do when you're being stalked by an angry mob with raspberries is to.....

[gamefreakin]

On November 22, 2011 a Swedish bus driver was attacked by a woman armed with a banana....

He didn't have a gun... and it didn't end well :P

[iluvmichaeline]

@gamefreakin What?????? He didn't have a 16 ton weight, or a tiger, or a POINTED STICK?

[MonsterGoBoom]

@gamefreakin He should've dropped the weight on her.

[Aberrant17]

@gamefreakin Didn't he have a pointed stick?

[Duelmaster360]

Fruit ninja FAIL

[sonicfan1100]

I haven't got a gun!

Yes you have! You shot Mr. Harrison wit it.

Oh....that gun... ._.

[RedwallRox]

a poin ted stick.

[NicoCopenhagen]

Eric Idle is SO sexy in this one..! Agree? ;-)

[MaraquanWocky1]

2:13

COME AT ME BRO

[sford605]

Right up close behind me then... in with the raspberries!

Best line :D

[blitzzking101]

i wonder what would happen if it was a grapefruit cause grapefruit are really scary

[itgirl0122]

super funny

[RaymondStump]

203 people were attacked by fruit without knowing how defend themselves

[Sunsetsmiles3]

What if someone has a banana and raspberries on a point-edd stick?

[releasethetiger]

@Sunsetsmiles3 Ha ha, he'd be screwed. In real life however, drizzle a bit of honey on the fruit, and then grill it for a minute or two. Add to vanilla ice cream for some yum :)

[Sunsetsmiles3]

Promose you'll tell us about point-edd sticks?

Shut up!!!!

[RS250Squid]

Heh, point-edd stick :D.

[MusicIsMyLife5239813]

Oh dear, what if I'm being stalked with someone with raspberries AND a banana?

[releasethetiger]

@MusicIsMyLife5239813 Time to make a smoothie :)

[leighhull10]

@MusicIsMyLife5239813  you run for it :)

[Sunsetsmiles3]

@cexpistol2 I know what u mean but this one is longer

[cexpistol2]

i prefer the and now for something completely different version

[616Calum]

Love this sketch so much

[chinahands100]

cleese was fantastic..but why did he split with tha stunning blond from fawlty towers..

[Littlemissmazda]

CLASSIC!!!!!!!!

[MsMacaraccoon]

release the tiger!

[releasethetiger]

@MsMacaraccoon You got that right :)

[prettyhippie865]

Eric Idle really seems to like pointed sticks. Just saying.

[mokster5]

"He's completely dead!!"

[DinsdalePiranha67]

203 people are upset that we haven't been told about pointed sticks...

[dananola]

Now I can't stop thinking abou what I'll do if someone comes at me with a banana and I haven't got a gun.

[DinsdalePiranha67]

@dananola Run for it!

[randomizerman]

@dananola Well then you learn real arts. Like Aikido, jujitsu, or wing chun.

[DaBhaalspawn]

@randomizerman

Aikido and real arts in the same phrase makes no sense

[Oilpadfeet]

Who thought this was funny?...wasted youth

[Kevinheardaflyingdog]

@Oilpadfeet oh oh oh we think this isnt funny do we? getting high and mighty eh?

[welshgirlism]

lmao! john cleese is awsome. could imagine his throat hurt after that though! lol

[atfatw]

Thank goodness Americans were on the job or you smelly infantile pyschotic limeys would be speaking german! AMERICA RULES!!!!!!!!!!!! britain eats poop!

[welshgirlism]

@atfatw lol what u on about ? we did most of the work. you lot were too busy scoffing down burgers ya fat fuck. America eats everything!

[atfatw]

@welshgirlism you sure are a stupid looking dummy thats cuz you is english uglier than a dog's butt is you filthy ugly Ugly UGLY english broads damn! are you a crime against nature itself

[welshgirlism]

@atfatw ok, well first things first. I know you're just a kid, so i'll just explain this 2 u in the most understandable way, the Americans sold us weapons, they didn't help us at all. they sold us weapons 2 make a profit. and 2...IM NOT ENGLISH IM WELSH DUMBASS! it's in my name!

[welshgirlism]

@atfatw oh, and 1 more thing...about that comment u posted on my channel...is that a compliment or what? lol get alot of attention from british boys? NICE! :P LMAO!

[atfatw]

@welshgirlism  hahaha you very funny at least your silly, ridiculous face is

[02dartda]

@atfatw Ja Deutschland ist wunderbar

[VictoryFire88]

haha Omg I'm being attacked by fruit! haha xp Crazy Brits.

[fuckamericanidiot]

"...Like someone who attacks you with a point-ed stick"...........no laughter, and "supposing he's got a point-ed stick", silence again; eric idol was the least funny of all of them

[maze121]

4:25 That's a pretty strong rope!!

[jumpinxjack]

200 People tried to make it to the top comments using a "199 people-" text---Wait a minute!

[DinLyster]

point-ed-stick ! hahah

[RiverEynaea]

Lingenberries...

[ThatGirlWithTheCards]

How did John Cleese not collapse from all that shouting? XD

[jes9044]

@ThatGirlWithTheCards been thinking about that about my p.e teach too......

[Darkfiretiger2004]

@ThatGirlWithTheCards becuase John Cleese is awesome.

[pwfordever]

if i said that "199 people were crushed by 16 tones" would i get top comment?

[sonicfan1100]

@pwfordever no u wont. it's "203 people were crushed by 16 TONS", not tones.

[1337Koios]

@sonicfan1100 could be he accidentally misspelled tonnes

[peteristehbest]

@pwfordever hmmm.

[MegamanSora1]

@pwfordever Nope. They were killed by vile torture.

Well, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

[lasseplatburk]

He probably trained the stormtroopers, since they got defeated by ewoks with pointy sticks

[GoalieRealmUSA]

@lasseplatburk god damn you, that was funny.

[JaysMyBabe]

@lasseplatburk He couldn't have trained the stormtroopers, he actually hit his target.

[SubWaySpiderman]

What if we dont have a gun?

Run for it!

[ctiyboy26]

199 people thought fruit was too good for them.

[defendagainstfruits]

i named my account after this. nuf' said

[releasethetiger]

@defendagainstfruits I'll see your name, and raise you one. :)

[defendagainstfruits]

@releasethetiger damn!!!

[Silvanfan]

eric idle was SOOO sexy back in the day XD

[dondopa]

@Silvanfan eric was so idle

[teamedward890]

@releasethetiger nice one! XD

[grizelda1986]

How tight is the neck on that T-shirt?!

[releasethetiger]

I object to all this sex on the television. I mean, I keep falling off!

[thebigfour13]

John Cleese has some of the most fucked up and funny parts in all of the sketches.

[condor949]

its funny to think he stayed sitting inside that "weight" for the rest of the sketch hah

[mamanettie]

199 people disliked this video

[mazeman90]

"In with the rasburries!"

XDDD

[spore56go]

199 people had pineapples stuck down their throats.

[releasethetiger]

Now, the first thing to do when you're being stalked by an angry mob with raspberries is to...

[LeoArctica]

@releasethetiger RELEASE THE TIGER xD

[SpurMz]

this is so fuckin boring

[Herbsandspices100]

@SpurMz Then don't watch it then

[ohmyjams]

Thumbs up if you are watching this in 1842!!!11

[oldjizzy]

THIS and Fish License are Cleese's very best Python skits, imo. LOL!

(Well, Dead Parrot s also in there.)

[The13LeafClover]

I died when the 16 Ton weight dropped out of nowhere.

[speedingfish]

@The13LeafClover Of course you did, that's the point!

[superrandomfbhead]

This is where fruit ninja came from ;)

[Cakoreanguy]

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHA

[Tube11ize]

"how to defend yourself against someone with a banana,first you force him to drop the banana,next you eat the banana thus disarming him.surpose hes got a bunch? Shut up what if hes got a point-ed stick,Shut up" john cleese is just awesome at parts like this xD,the whole python crew are awesome tho,monty python for life!!

[Mchugh272]

hilarious video!

[pentmon]

Nobody expects the Spnish Inquisition

[Maryukujin]

I was attacked with a Banana once, this video saved my life.

[Sporkmater]

And the idea for fruit ninja is born.

[TheEvilDead316]

196 people were shot,crushed and mauled by a tiger not to mention they were eating to much fresh fruit

[releasethetiger]

196 people can't appreciate my Youtube name.

[onemariobro]

Seems these guys haven't played fruit ninja

[TheRatchetLover]

bananas are herbs not fruit :x