Jim Jeffries Stand Up Comedy 2010 (Sex Responsibilities)

[lobo2k]

amazing



[kiranslam]

now... let's go back to the dry cunts

[egocentricmasochist]

YOU MAY NEED KISSES CARESSES COMPLIMENTS AND LICKS BUT ALL WE NEED IS YOU, HAHAHAHAHA I WILL BE USING THAT NEXT TIME I HAVE TO GO DOWN ON MY GIRLFRIEND JIM JUST SAVED ME A SORE NECK!!!

[kiranslam]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA didn't you get your hole wet? we both had things to do!

[McKillaboy]

What a hero!

[BitchImmaPenguin]

True story.

[Shryce]

Jim, I think you're great, but I'm pretty sure I won't get laid that night if I take my date to your show.

[DeejFloor]

I've contributed to not productive :) I have a campaign too igg.me/ p/61309?a=375303 (just remove the space)

[kenshinjd]

auuuu!!!! xD

[TheLivirus]

"My job was to get an erection. Your job was to get your hole wet."

I'd say it's his job to get her hole wet, and her job to get him an erection.

[SphincterOfDoom]

@TheLivirus Yeah, just wash over the part afterward where him not getting an erection is seen as his fault.

[TheLivirus]

@SphincterOfDoom Yeah, but my point was that it's wrong.

[420jaymac]

@TheLivirus wow great work... you should be up on stage not him!

[Zonde32]

@TheLivirus Yet the man get blamed for both things.

[TheLivirus]

@Zonde32 Yeah, but on the other hand, if a man fuck around he's a stallion, but if a woman does she's a slut/whore/tramp/skank etc.

Two wrongs does not make a right, I know, but I thaught it needed to be put in perspective.

[Zonde32]

@TheLivirus No the girl is only a slut/whore/tramp/skank if she acts like it. You can still sleep around, and do it in style.

[kiranslam]

@TheLivirus jim jeffries explains this: it's easy to be a chick slut, it is. It's right hard to be a stud (if you were a guy you'd know, no matter how good looking)

[stinky472]

@TheLivirus That's because women generally decide everything. How often do you see women asking men on a date? I'm sure it happens from time to time, but it's very rare. Women are in charge in that category, along with deciding when they're willing to have to sleep with a guy. With that kind of control comes responsibility. If the world were reversed and women were available left and right for us to screw, we'd be the sluts if we didn't restrict our choices.

[stinky472]

@TheLivirus You see, a stud is a man who can get many women to *approve* of sleeping with him. Otherwise he's a rapist. A slut is a woman who just approves very easily.

[dmAkolyte]

@TheLivirus Why don't you listen to the rest of the bit, jackhole

[Hrko1992]

@TheLivirus You're a cunt. Men don't need help with erections, every healthy man has 2-4 erections per day. Women don't get wet the way men get erections. Most women are fucked in the head, but every once in a while, I meet that one sweet horny lady, that loves sex and can't get enough of it, is horny all the time and we have sex 3 times a day and I stick to her like a fatman sticks to a cake diet. I allways stay with those kind of girls as long as i possibly can. Other types of women are cunts

[TheLivirus]

@Hrko1992 w/e

[waterthegrass]

i laughed a lot. but personally, i enjoy the journey



[MrTivert]

30 women didn't get 'their hole' wet!

[silksism]

too true

[Jmack1lla]

,but let's go back to the dry cunt

[themanclaw2]

idk... in terms of making food being bullshit to attraction, I think a woman might appear to be 10x more attractive if shes making me brinner.

[nickishere1000]

28 people are the containers 986 people shoot it into.

[ThatAnnoyingGuyFrom]

I need to stab a woman's anus with my tongue.

[ThatAnnoyingGuyFrom]

A dry hole is tighter.

[ThatAnnoyingGuyFrom]

TJ like Aussi comedy... cool.

[TheDonandMurphshow]

TAA sent me here on a mission, mission complete.

[TheLockon00]

@TheDonandMurphshow I follow him, but I have no idea what you're referring to. Would you please enlighten me?

[TheDonandMurphshow]

@TheLockon00 No he liked the video, So i watched it,

[TheLockon00]

@TheDonandMurphshow I see.

[redefiningsk8ing]

this seems like a nice family show.

[TheVocalDeviant]

"Tits are like golf - you play the course you're on!" Genius

[Sternburger27]

tj :)

[outrightrocker]

Wow this guy is painfully unfunny.

[Agunforxmas]

@outrightrocker You are OR an American OR a woman. If not, both. If not at least one of those, go and kill yourself

[outrightrocker]

@Agunforxmas I am an extremely atheistic, Brittish, 17 year old boy. Everything he says is pretty much true, but I just don't think he is a great comedian. He needs better delivery, content and punchlines, I like his bravery though.

[axelfbomber]

@outrightrocker i don't care if your extrememly atheistic, british or 17 years old or a boy. this is the internet. no one cares.

[outrightrocker]

@axelfbomber I was replying to someone else moron, the @blahblah means reply, duhhhh.

This is the internet, you new here?

[axelfbomber]

@outrightrocker no, I saw it perfectly. I'm just wondering if you believe if you arguing over the internet is making you feel superior or not. If you are an atheist, I'd be hoping you'd be smart enough to realize that you're wasting your time, but.... alas here ya are

[WiseOldBill]

@outrightrocker agreed

[rebos911]

"now the foreplay necessary for a man ..."  7:24 / 7:47

already lmao

[kiranslam]

so so right, EPIC hahahahahahah

[SourceMachinimaMaker]

I was thinking "this guy's a bit of an asshole" right up til the very end. Holy poops.

[HeadbangingLegend]

Oh my God those were the most inspring words ever.

[itsjmonkey]

Watch it to the end people, his conclusion is -the- truth.

[JIZZZification]

i like kissing btw

[mroldschoolhiphop1]

@JIZZZification so do i.

[JIZZZification]

2:28 bottom right

[goochtobyn]

lmao



[91jgphonecall]

if the guys hot all the girl needs is the guy.

[chadwick0091]

His name is Jim JEFFERIES not Jim Jeffries

[MagnusDetErMeg]

@chadwick0091 His name is Jim Jeffries. Check wikipedia.

[DreadedLeopard]

lawl

[joeymjones]

This guy is fucking hilarious! and I love his accent!

[CameronWasmund]

"Maybe we take our relationship seriously." fucking brilliant haha.

[8DarthGhost8]

TJ sent me here.

[420jaymac]

@8DarthGhost8 u needed him to find jim jefferes? wow

[thekingoffunnyfaces]

@8DarthGhost8 who's TJ?

[sk8tborderx]

@thekingoffunnyfaces TheAmazingAtheist.

[demonicdarkwolf]

@8DarthGhost8 yep...

[dersqrc]

He is just awsome!

[hannahw2]

Meh, I chuckled a few times. I did feel slightly offended, being the woman that I am, but he did make some good points. Like how men are expected to do most of the work during sex, and if they can't please you, or if they weren't pleased by it, it's always the mans fault.

Very interesting perspective.

[Longhornzrock96]

damn this guy is offensive. i like it.

[igotaidsinnarnia]

i has dry hole

[TheTigersparadise]

Good work; pork chops for everyone Especially for Jewish girls.

[TheTigersparadise]

Wow the world is full of profanity.

[iPriestHolmes]

taa girl's hole is dry... :/

[nevortrevor]

So who's going to the cunt?

[Sidthetreefish]

@nevortrevor We're all going to the cunt!

[swedishspic]

Rofl my woffel

[hyokitsune]

Good god, man - what was that?

[z0tri]

The Amazing Atheist brought me here...and this is unfunny.

[influenztial]

@z0tri It's a good thing that this is an important comment.

[z0tri]

@influenztial Obvious fanboy got his feelings hurt. lmao

[influenztial]

@z0tri Says the person mentioning "The Amazing Atheist brought me here", fishing for thumbs up.

Desperate much?

[z0tri]

@influenztial Try to lurk the comments next time you embarrass yourself. lmao

[CornishGayMen]

@influenztial Mad?

[T1ck227]

@z0tri i dont give a fuck who brought me here, i found it very informative

[z0tri]

@T1ck227 Informative? Should I be surprised that you've never had sex before? rofl

[SummerRay89]

This guy is a douche bag!

[aegisgfx]

So I was going down on this chick and it tasted like donkey cock, and I said "oh shit Grandma THATS how you died?"

[asdfxcxv]

This video is funny but nudity is awful.

[minbejares]

Lube is a magical thing

[FluffRecordings]

This guy is drunk.

[nunyabidnez2011]

Censorship is wrong.

[zappp111]

Triple "LIKE"!

[williamiscool123]

Amazing Atheist Brought me here.

[zappp111]

Can I do double "LIKE"!

[mich541919]

The Amazing Atheist brought me here...and i like it.

[omgbeeswtf]

@academicroach really? how much work does getting you hard involve? taking off a shirt? seeing some boobies? not really much of a job there.

[frazzledazzler]

@omgbeeswtf some girls are fuck ugly.

[shanep35]

these things are fucking dead!

[h0twire15]

Everyone please "thumbs down" those who ruin punchlines

[KO421]

I MAKE ME CUM!

[TheFuzzieWuzzie]

A dry hole means she's really not that into you. I can't imagine for the life of me why that would be.

[bozotheda]

@TheFuzzieWuzzie If she's not into him, then one might wonder what she's doing spreading her legs

[screus69]

"why would i ride on the swing.... i've already been to Disneyland!!!"

[tbpotn]

these things are fucking dead, they're dead to me! reminds me of Fat Bastard

[LichBoo]

hold 1 for jet set willy Jeffries! xD

[cayterr]

holy fucking shit that was funny

[cayterr]

didnt you get your hole wet hahaha not a complete woman ahaha

[LucianHalo]

I want this guy to be the president of USA

[Metroidman389]

This man is a godamn motherfucking hero

[816fireman]

I'm going to the cunt

[Valleybucker]

Do you wanna know who makes me come? I MAKE ME COME, all the horrible thoughts I have in my fucking head makes me come, you have very little to do with it, you're just a container i shoot it into. Now back to the dry cunt.

[Koma2730]

Hahaha! It´s funny, ´cause it´s true.

I got wet - on my face though. From the hysterical laughter :D

[monsieurhassan]

Very funny guy, but I see a lot of influence on him from Doug Stanhope . .. check out Jim's whole sex shop story, its a rip off from Doug Stanhope's story

[ParanoidAndification]

Love it!

[Sloane67665]

The 3 ppl that didnt like this are dry-holed cunts, if there's a guy that hates it he's a flaccid limp-dick wanka

[radadamsable]

I know people hate these comments, but I genuinely think that the 2 dislikes were from women. Oh, AND JIM JEFFRIES IS A FUCKIN GENIUS

[mattyreynolds1990]

My favourite comedian for the last few years I want to see this guy live but I would miss half the jokes :(

[StatenIzzy1]

this shit was fucken genius

[StatenIzzy1]

jim likes when girls look uncomfortable when sucking cock...idk but i like it when they look realy confortable and want more...if she looks uncomfrtable it gets me soft

[Sheikkailija]

SO TRUE LOL :D

[C0mm0nS3ns3]

Buy the dvd to funny

[rich2rock]

A fine analogy. 

[Deimiond]

@dabombbizzle 2 persons in a month! Men are pretty lucky statistially. :D

[dabombbizzle]

"I fucked Jim Jeffrries, he didn't even get me wet" lmao

[seasorb]

The payoff is always clever.

[youwashmeka123]

where is the GONG when you need it???

[theonegt500]

What a legend

[mlschwaz]

the best

[aODSTstudio]

What a legend!

[bumboils]

brilliant one of the best comedians

[bumboils]

brilliant, one of the best comedians

[EvilFlame99]

lmao jim jeffries is hilarious