so all u religous obsessed morinic mother fuckers !! just think about it.for one fucking moment just think about it.do u think allah or jesus or budha or any other pathetic old fool would want u to kill people in their name .NO ! they would not want that, u r an insult to ur own belief.it doesnt matter who said it.all that matters is what he said.and all these blokes wnated u to stop fighting.they wanted u to live in peace. and that concludes my opinion on religions.
so 4 give me for not believing a bunch of bull shit that was made 2000 years ago.because all ethists know that religion is bull shit and deep down inside so deo those religous obssesed morons.they are just too weak to understand the reality of life.they do not want to accept the truth. religous obssesed morons are responsible for more violence and blood shed than aethists.
u know , in my native language people some times say like this "modayi kiyala makannada" this translated in yo english means "just becaus ethey are stupid doesnt mean we can erase/kill them" listen guys there are a lot of religous obseessed morons out there. most of the wars that took place through out history happened because people wanted to sefend their fucking religion.the true weapons of mass destruction is not the nuclear weapons or money, and certainly not video games .its religion
Jesus...it is a man...a symbol of every single intelligent man. Jesus died and was ressurected...Jesus died because he got away from his Ego...The problem with the majority of people is that they believe in some storys' but not in themselves...religious people,soldiers,politicians etc. When the person destroys his Ego...like Jesus did...the person doesn't even question death and its consequences...he becomes an infinite spirit,loving and creative. Everyday life is a ''Bible''...don't read books.
Heed! Don't be distracted. Take notice, THE END is near_ Mathew24:36-39. There are real understandings and hope profusely in God's Word, the Bible: The Devil is ruling: 1John5:19 Revelation12:7-12. Major events: Mathew24:7,8,10-14,21,22. People’s behaviors: 2Timothy 3:1-5. God will act soon: Revelation16:13,14 Daniel2:44. We too must act so to be saved: Revelation18:4 Zephaniah2:3 John17:3 Mathew6:9-11,33,34 Mark13:13. A New World at hand: Psalm37:9-11 2Peter3:8-13. Let's choose right!
@plptous Oh, so your chosen "end" is the real one, and the hundred or so previous ones were mistakes. We are to toss off all the others as being made by people less informed than your enlightened, prophetic self. Can you provide a deadline, after which you would humbly apologize for being a misleading religious fanatic and fool if the end DOESN'T come about? I eagerly await this date.
@plptous Your psychiatrist called. He wants you to go back on your medication before they find you pushing all your shit down the street in a shopping cart again....
@newyorklindsay GOD hates shit like your not having a good sense of humor and finding someone despicable for alleged bad acting and an inability at an advanced age to maintain pearly white teeth as if this were a Pepsodent ad. Prepare for eternal doggone-nation!
Elisha seems to me like the typical stupid religious hater. He could just have asked his pal God for his hair to grow back, or simply worn a wig or his cape, or even better come to terms with his baldness instead of asking for the silly youths' deaths.
This story is typical of how a religion tries to teach social conduct through fear (i.e. don't jeer others because they might cast a curse on you)...
@JauntyBanterer Don't jeer at others or they may sic hermaphroditic anthropomorphic bears with an extensive knowledge of martial arts and somehow life-threatening childhood antics on you. XD
@JauntyBanterer "..... This story is typical of how a religion tries to teach social conduct through fear (i.e. don't jeer others because they might cast a curse on you)... ....."
What about stupidity? Fanaticism? Close mindedness? Pathetic people, level: Epic? No? Not enough "christ-grinding" for you?
Bible is story of mankind. It's reflection of what we were, and still, mostly, are. God is just BTFW element.
See the other side of the coin, see the whole picture, spiral out.
@unfad1ng I blame Emperor Constantine, for having his scribes change the great book, so that he could find a means to control society through fear. For him, it wasn't about religion at all, it was about control.
@mouthyweasel That is because most people do not know how to read; the parables and scriptures of the bible are nearly ENTIRELY metaphorical and/or symbolical. Only deducing and simple minded idiots take the words into a LITERAL translation. No one understand that it is a large account of historical events and wisdom, written and recorded based on the knowledge they had at that time LONG AGO. AS TOLD similar in all other authentic religions.
@fram4153 Whoa, whoa, whoa there big fellow; how do you KNOW that that's a GUY in that suit? It could be a girl and they are SHE-bears after all. I agree with you otherwise.
@symor99 I see what you're getting at but isn't god approving of people that love and except all people? Telling some one that they are going to he'll and that they will never excepted by God is just the opposite.
@loveygirl2345 .....i think that the word you are looking for is 'accepted' not 'excepted'... very different meanings...I think that some remedial studies in English would help you greatly.
Actually. The original word means Youth, and there were hudreds of them. All baying for Elishas blood. They insulted a prophet of god, by telling him to "go on up" as Elijah his mentor had. The syrian bears were actually very small and the Junkie flickknife weilding yobs were going to kill Elisha but Jesus saved him by lightly wounding them all. Actually , no Thats all shit. Jesus is a infanticidal fuckwit and so are all christians who defend this passage
@Zresponder Well, im happy the Elisha bear story is just the ravings of madmen in times of ignorance. What annoys me is that in modernity, Theists scramble to defend palpable bullshit with jibbering explainations. Then they have the sheer hipocracy to claim they are a force for morality.
@ChristopherLuck Of course it never took place! But Xtians will have to accept that it did if they want to be bible beleivers. Then they will have to fight tooth and nail to water down the awful fairy tale to mesh with modern values. Why all this hoop leaping? Well because , rather surprisingly, our morals have either outstripped the morals of iron age desert dwelling ignorants or they have outstripped Yawehs. :D I really love 2 kings 2. It makes theists squirm.
@tommiatkins lol I didn't read the last bit that you wrote in the initial comment. Worded like a true Fundy, only to come to a sarcastic conclusion. I need to read more :p
Divino Afflante Spirtu, issued in 1933, states that not all scripture is to be read purely literally, Bible scholars are supposed to interpret scripture.
What does this mean? God is all-powerful, fear Him.
@gruosd Er...really? Because it sounds more to me like ancient superstition wasn't holding up against modern rationality, and the church had to cover itself...
@Kniteblade89 Yes, some things in the Bible do not make sense. For example, Moses did not, obviously, write the part of the Book of Deuteronomy describing his own funeral. Some statements are wrong. Some statements are hyperboles. But, the Church wasn't protecting itself, it was taking a necessary step of progress that the Protestants had made centuries prior.
@gruosd I'll correct your sentence that says, "Some statements are wrong." What you meant to say is, "Most statements weren't translated correctly and some statements were modified, added or deleted."
Israel & Judea were in almost complete apostasy. Elisha had just been anointed prophet, and these young men showed their contempt for him. But they were actually showing contempt for YHWH. At the onset of a new venture, no quarter is granted to transgressors. Thus, about 3,000 died because of the golden calf, and Ananias & Sapphira dropped dead for lying about money. (Exodus 32:28, Acts 5:1-11)
/watch?v=8oU7i_2Gjk8 Heres the link to a video thats supposed to prove that theres not judgement day or a god I need some one to watch it then give me there opinio
These guys should make ones about the talking donkey, the woman who nailed a tend peg through a man's head, and that time a talking serpent tempted a woman to stray from her husband to get some good ass fruit.
@jankendorf Simple closed-mindedness. What you meant to say was, "Thank God I don't know if It is real or not, because I have no proof to theorize or deny the possibility, being in an infinite universe and all..."
If religions were real then God would convert an athiest by curing my mums terminal cancer and letting her live in his love and glory rather than having her die.
@Crisshomes1 I just said God is not bound by any laws of logic and physics, therefore contradictions do not happen or can just as easily be averted. derp.
@Crisshomes1 I have proof that you are being egotistic- you're assuming that because something doesn't follow laws of physics and logic as worked out by hairless monkeys it cannot exist.
You're also assuming God needs such a silly concept as an existence to begin with.
@Crisshomes1 personal attacks? All I'm doing is pointing out how silly and utterly selfish it is to think about God in such "IF HE WAS REAL HE WOULD BEHAVE EXACTLY AS I THINK HE SHOULD BEHAVE" statements. If this guy I responded to was Fred Phelps you would have done the same
@Crisshomes1 He's also omniscient, remember? So given that He created you, He very likely understands you, what you will be, what you are, and exactly how many molecules of what you are made of and where they come from and where they will go.
It's not the same as one biased talking pile of meat trying to judge another biased barking pile of meat.
look, the point was that He doesn't need to do SHIT to try and convince anyone of anything. Especially after all He's done and will do.
@hedgehodge100 Crisshomes1 is a human being. A human being cannot process or hope to understand the full grandeur and infinity of God. It is just something that a, especially a closed mind, cannot do. Might as well give up on this one.
A closed mind is one that closes itself off to evidence in order to revel in its' own point of view. An open mind is one that considers all evidence equally and comes to a reasonable conclusion.
That makes religion insanely close minded, and atheism open minded.
It seems pretty obvious but for some reason, people like you get it completely backwards.
Being open to all evidence, and coming to the conclusion that's the most accurate and reasonable and being open to new evidence should it present itself... the atheist point of view... you honestly think that's close minded?
If you do, I really can't argue because... all I've got are logic fact and reason, and you're obviously not interested in any of that, lol.
@Ryakki I have heard this so many times. It is the result of a super-ego; willing to reduce and dismiss possibilities simply because their discovery is too difficult. Now if you are someone who is offended by possibility, then we cannot communicate. I'm a student, studying theoretical physics. If I do as you, and limit my mind to the very finite pile of primitive knowledge humans have accumulated over a few million years, then I could understand you -- I don't practice limitations as such.
@LawdMyEyes Student studying theoretical physics should know better.. Do you believe in god(s)? Yes or no. There is no middle ground; Yes - you're a theist, No - you're an atheist. There is no "I don't know" because that's gnosticism and agnosticism. Everyone is an agnostic because no one knows if there is a god(s). But you can make up your own mind on belief. Maybe you just don't like labels but that's your own problem to deal with. You're not an intellectual so stop pretending.
Don't be offended by that. You and I as overgrown monkeys are simply on different levels of the evolutionary ladder. When I was 11, I superseded the notion that I could know everything by dismissing facets of an infinite universe that are beyond my knowledge. Instead, I consider possibilities to promote progress. Religion is closed by halting the flow of information; atheism is closed by dismissing the flow of information. Both social factions are completely useless to me.
@LawdMyEyes It's been awhile since you made this comment, but are you sure you even know what atheism is? Or when you wrote this maybe you were unaware.. atheism is lack of belief in deities, it has nothing to do with dismissing the flow of information. How is a non-belief in gods dismissive of information.. there is currently no evidence for gods, ergo you can't believe it rationally. Atheism doesn't make claims of certainty, it's about belief or lack thereof, not knowledge.
@Crisshomes1 Omnipotence suggests the notion of infinity; the finite human mind or machine cannot process infinity, therefore it does not register in our brains. If God is an infinity, assuming that God is the universe, everything within and outside of it, then God is beyond our understanding. It is something that we are not yet capable of understanding -- otherwise, we would all just say what you are saying, "It doesn't make sense."
@kyral210 I'm sorry for your loss. Truly. But God is with your mum. The meaning it that she's now resting in the arms of her Saviour. I know that this reply may seem petty and unimportant to you, but I'm just offering some insight.
The time when your mum was ill and alive may have been the time to convert. perhaps, the devil needed more power over you, so he had to take your mum. You needed just to pray harder and for once had an ounce of faith in something you've never believed in to save her.
@kyral210 God works in strange ways, ways if told to man, would make man almost as powerful as God himself, but then tempted by the devil to manifest it to evil in the most putrid ways.
I'm terribly terribly sorry for your loss, but I'm just a christian offering counsel. and I understand if all I give you is completely rubbish and you wish not to hear anything I have to say. But I just want to assure you. Perhaps this is the turning point to where you can start anew and pray for a better life.
@kyral210 Feel free to ignore the messages, but if you are even slightly open to any suggestions to ache your pain, please hear me out. There is a God. but he needs to be in your heart to amend your wounds. You need an open heart. . the devil just gets jealous of all His popularity over him, so he decides to do little deeds every now and then tempt the minds of us, humans. After all, we know all so little and are infinitely learning. Try praying to God about the common good deeds for one day.
@NotreDameSentiento You're so sure "god" exists, but I don't think you've ever considered if Allah, Vishnu, Buddha, Thor, Seuss or some other gods were real. Is it because you're afraid god will reject you if you do it? Are you christian because you were raised as a christian? What if you were born in India? Then you'd most likely be a hindu and say the exactly the same thing about some hindu god as you say about the god you believe in now. It seems to me that all religions are manmade.
@audveltadmuna Interesting fact. While it is true that religions cannot be based upon fact of their existence because all we know about them is from book, folklore, tales and whatnot, notice how I've not mentioned in any definite and exact term from the BIble,or Torah, or anything. Because I don't believe in religion as a fact, moreover as another theory of creation. But not seriously. I would like to think the seven days of creation was not being literal but meaning something else somewhat real
@NotreDameSentiento Well, I don't see anything wrong with following one of the saner religions if it really feels good to you and doesn't ruin your perspective of reality. But so many people who go to church every week are selective believers, and once you presume you can pick and choose from what you want to believe, then you might as well seek out more precisely what you believe. Many of those - most? - have chosen atheism on this path. I think that's interesting.
@NotreDameSentiento Ok, lets start with the basics. Before you assert that the origine and architect of spirituality in the universe is the God of Christianity you have to assert that supernatural elements truely exist. Just saying 'god is love' doesnt argue or prove the point that supernatural elemtents are a real and influential entity in the universe. Unfortunately there is no evidence for such supernatural elements outside our own emotions, which is not demonstration of physical reality
@kyral210 Keep in mind that we've only existed for around 3 billion years. and the universe alone is a trillion years and growing. Honestly, we don't know everything about everywhere all at once, so I like to keep an open mind about the confines of our 'reality'. There is a God. but he just doesn't exist the way everyone keeps telling him he is. There is a saying but this Renaissance man, "There is only 1 true religion, but there are a thousand different versions of it".
@NotreDameSentiento Consider a question such as 'why is the universe the way it is', on one side the theological argument of 'it was created out of nothing by an omnipiant superbeing' (backed up by 1 book) and on the other the scientific view of 'rapid and continual expansion of a singularity and matter change through stars' (backed up by masses of evidence which has a very low margin of 'error'. We dont know everything, but that doesn't mean we know nothing.
@NotreDameSentiento Additionally, stating that there categorically is a god 'because there is' is not an argument for existence it is a statement. It is as strong as Bertrand Russel saying that 'there just is' a flying teapot. The progress of the 20th century in science and technology has let you use a computer in your home, wiped out smallpox and certainly saved your life. We dont know everything, but we know enough to say that there probably is no god as the the god hypothesis solves nothing
@Teran305 WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO SIT THERE AND PASS JUDGEMENT? You are not a fucking god. You are a simple person. You sit here and blame him for his mother's cancer? because he doesn't believe what you believe? Last thing THE BIBLE says is without jesus, you go to hell. That means he would be in hell, not his mother. You ignorant fuck. God won't save you. You will burn in the very hell you put on others. When you pass, His mother will give you the pain you gave to her son.(sorry @kyral210)
@kyral210 people have to die its a part of life and u shud do research because i pretty sure it doesnt say anywhere in the bible that god will kill you if you dont believe dumbfuck
@Teran305 "i pretty sure it doesnt say anywhere in the bible that god will kill you if you dont believe dumbfuck" rofl rofl rofl. that's MOST of the bible. I guess if you just listen to your pastor/rabbi/priest/witchdoctor and don't actually do any of your own study, this "god" guy must sound like a pretty cool bro. rofl.
@TheBoomdoom spoken as somone who does not know death. To those of you who have said hate, please consider what you say the bible and god is. But ultimately, I stand by my statement. 'miracles' only ever seem to help conditions which are so mild they may go away naturally, or be misdiagnosed. As I sit here what would convert me? Simple, an amputee regrowing a leg and on that leg a birthmark saying 'with love, Jesus/ God/ Holy Ghost'
@kyral210 what is the point in that reply? of course i do not know how death feels the only people who do are DEAD. death, no longer consciously existing, being no more, sould leaving the body, reincarnation, afterlife, or sitting in a grave for eternity.
@kyral210 Ridiculous and naive. God is not some vending machine, where you can put in a quarter and out comes whatever you want. God is the structure and entropy of everything. God's will FAR exceeds tiny human affairs. Affairs so insignificant to the grandeur of the universe, they don't even register in the size of a grain of sand in comparison to the Earth. All humans are subject to death and decay; get over it.
In all fairness to "G-d" and Elijah, the end quote said the she-bears mauled 42 youths. It didn't say they all necessarily DIED. Or maybe it's a mis-translation of "malled" as in "The she-bears took the 42 youths to the shopping mall for the afternoon; they malled the day away" (past tense of the made-up verb "to mall").
@BaronVonSchtupp88 Umm. Yeah. Well, Kings is written in Hebrew, so I doubt the mistranslation would work like it would in English. Plus, I doubt they had a verb "to mall" in Hebrew of the 6th Century BCE.
@ortcutt And the moral of the story is there should be a "Sarcasm; yes or no" button on youtube posts. newyears912 got the joke. It should have been obvious when I alluded to "mall" being a false verb. Also, I was making fun of Bible historians who state ideas such as "The Red Sea is probably a mis-translation of Sea Of Reeds" or things in that vein (or did I mean weather vane or You're So Vain").
@ImJTHM LoL, don't you find it ironic that you're bitching over what people do in the comic section of an obviously humorous video? If the video is all the matters, then why cry over the comment section? (I love pwning idiots) :D
This is how I imagine God looks like =D
uvitek1 1 week ago
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maybe i will do a long video about why religions suck.so untill then MOTHER FUCK RELIGION !!!
FUCK YOU JESUS !!!! FUCK YOU ALLAH !!!!
FUCK YOU BUDHDHA !!!!
AND FUCK YOU ALL OF THOSE OTHER PATHETIC RELIGION THAT PEOPLE DONT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT
vcihiethea 3 weeks ago
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so all u religous obsessed morinic mother fuckers !! just think about it.for one fucking moment just think about it.do u think allah or jesus or budha or any other pathetic old fool would want u to kill people in their name .NO ! they would not want that, u r an insult to ur own belief.it doesnt matter who said it.all that matters is what he said.and all these blokes wnated u to stop fighting.they wanted u to live in peace. and that concludes my opinion on religions.
vcihiethea 3 weeks ago
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so 4 give me for not believing a bunch of bull shit that was made 2000 years ago.because all ethists know that religion is bull shit and deep down inside so deo those religous obssesed morons.they are just too weak to understand the reality of life.they do not want to accept the truth. religous obssesed morons are responsible for more violence and blood shed than aethists.
vcihiethea 3 weeks ago
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u know , in my native language people some times say like this "modayi kiyala makannada" this translated in yo english means "just becaus ethey are stupid doesnt mean we can erase/kill them" listen guys there are a lot of religous obseessed morons out there. most of the wars that took place through out history happened because people wanted to sefend their fucking religion.the true weapons of mass destruction is not the nuclear weapons or money, and certainly not video games .its religion
vcihiethea 3 weeks ago
LOL religion is stupid
byelobog3 4 weeks ago 3
thanks for proving our point, atheists.. one should never make fun of others.. :D
lion95805 4 weeks ago
HAHAHAHA excellent.
TheServingTruth 4 weeks ago
Dudes!! Thanks for using Severed Fifth's music to create this most awesome of videos!!!
grumpyadams 1 month ago
Hail Satan!
PerpetualTrainWreck 1 month ago
2:17 is the best moment of the whole video. HILARIOUS.
thecackler21 1 month ago
Dam god is a hateful bastord isn't he
xjoeman123 1 month ago
0_0
locoluna88 1 month ago
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Jesus...it is a man...a symbol of every single intelligent man. Jesus died and was ressurected...Jesus died because he got away from his Ego...The problem with the majority of people is that they believe in some storys' but not in themselves...religious people,soldiers,politicians etc. When the person destroys his Ego...like Jesus did...the person doesn't even question death and its consequences...he becomes an infinite spirit,loving and creative. Everyday life is a ''Bible''...don't read books.
kubiksahara 2 months ago
O.o religion is real...
ImagineerStitch 2 months ago
plptous 2 months ago
@plptous Oh, so your chosen "end" is the real one, and the hundred or so previous ones were mistakes. We are to toss off all the others as being made by people less informed than your enlightened, prophetic self. Can you provide a deadline, after which you would humbly apologize for being a misleading religious fanatic and fool if the end DOESN'T come about? I eagerly await this date.
carmium 2 months ago
@plptous Your psychiatrist called. He wants you to go back on your medication before they find you pushing all your shit down the street in a shopping cart again....
moopism 1 month ago 2
Great, now I have to find this Teran's comment..
diegofloor 2 months ago 2
thumbs up if you thougth this was smosh ._.
KurtCobainNirvanaxD 2 months ago 3
@KurtCobainNirvanaxD YES I WAS!! Thanks Smosh.
09tranm 2 months ago
OMG, hilarious!!
Endymos 3 months ago
- she-bear can do hadouken *ROTFL*
- old testament , no jesus yet ... psst
glittygiggity 3 months ago
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Man that guy needs some Colgate.
donnyaldridge 3 months ago
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Read the Old Testament and find out the evil in god.
You are so sick in the head to believe in this nonsense.
The god in the bible is an asshole. The bible is a fairy story and God is a murderer and rapist and very very sick.
God is a genocidal murderers.
kriss299 3 months ago
SHIT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!
TheGeneralCritic 4 months ago
song please!! :D
milffromouterspace 4 months ago
LMFAO!!!!!!!! This is priceless!!! Love hearing ken from street fighter too.
junit483 4 months ago
I'm a Realist. So fuck off.
Uncharted2 5 months ago
so you can have the power of strength with long hair or the power to call on god with no hair. win-win situation! lol
fallingskyz 5 months ago
if you've got nothing nice to say dont say anything at all.
AUsernameIsOverrated 5 months ago
Err ... Smosh?
MortemDeum 5 months ago 3
@MortemDeum lol
Uncharted2 5 months ago
@jfvbstd WOW, "creation" and "scientist"; two words that don't usually go together. I concur with Stuna2150, but is "stupiding" an actual word?
BaronVonSchtupp88 5 months ago
@newyorklindsay GOD hates shit like your not having a good sense of humor and finding someone despicable for alleged bad acting and an inability at an advanced age to maintain pearly white teeth as if this were a Pepsodent ad. Prepare for eternal doggone-nation!
BaronVonSchtupp88 5 months ago
As a fellow baldy I can relate to this wonderful story, it gives me much comfort.
lanzelotz26 5 months ago
thumbs up if you were expecting something smosh-related
varelabro1 5 months ago 2
I have one thing to said.
ManBearPig.
Of course, they were extinct by dar ages.
HerozBP 6 months ago
roflmao!
julzabro 6 months ago
Elisha seems to me like the typical stupid religious hater. He could just have asked his pal God for his hair to grow back, or simply worn a wig or his cape, or even better come to terms with his baldness instead of asking for the silly youths' deaths.
This story is typical of how a religion tries to teach social conduct through fear (i.e. don't jeer others because they might cast a curse on you)...
JauntyBanterer 6 months ago 23
@JauntyBanterer fearmongering at it's finest.
DsyelxicBob 6 months ago
@JauntyBanterer Don't jeer at others or they may sic hermaphroditic anthropomorphic bears with an extensive knowledge of martial arts and somehow life-threatening childhood antics on you. XD
BennickGAdeus 4 weeks ago
@JauntyBanterer "..... This story is typical of how a religion tries to teach social conduct through fear (i.e. don't jeer others because they might cast a curse on you)... ....."
What about stupidity? Fanaticism? Close mindedness? Pathetic people, level: Epic? No? Not enough "christ-grinding" for you?
Bible is story of mankind. It's reflection of what we were, and still, mostly, are. God is just BTFW element.
See the other side of the coin, see the whole picture, spiral out.
trikpa 2 weeks ago
Right after this happened, Elisha turned to his scribe and said, "Make sure you leave out all the times that the bears DIDN'T show up!"
Thanks and a tip o' the hat to Larry Gonick's Cartoon History of the Universe.
OrchestrationOnline 6 months ago
FUCK YEAH!!!
brinxe76 6 months ago
The Marti Gras beads were a nice touch.
Arkitecteral 7 months ago
funny how christians always condem sorcery
unfad1ng 7 months ago
@unfad1ng I blame Emperor Constantine, for having his scribes change the great book, so that he could find a means to control society through fear. For him, it wasn't about religion at all, it was about control.
LawdMyEyes 6 months ago
obviously Elieishah was just a plain old sorcerer
unfad1ng 7 months ago
@unfad1ng He performed an invocation.
LawdMyEyes 6 months ago
The bible is so embarrassing.
mouthyweasel 7 months ago
@mouthyweasel That is because most people do not know how to read; the parables and scriptures of the bible are nearly ENTIRELY metaphorical and/or symbolical. Only deducing and simple minded idiots take the words into a LITERAL translation. No one understand that it is a large account of historical events and wisdom, written and recorded based on the knowledge they had at that time LONG AGO. AS TOLD similar in all other authentic religions.
LawdMyEyes 6 months ago
Awesome =D
reynirorn 7 months ago
2:15 Wilhelm scream :D!
PMdutch 7 months ago
@ 2:12 HADOKEN!!!!
hahahaha lmao!!!
cruzafix5000 7 months ago
ey fuck you!
david882011 7 months ago
SMOSH
Wilhtekz 8 months ago
This was too funny!!
NewYorkMami4u 8 months ago
2:03 every video needs a random flying tackle by a guy in a bear suit lol
fram4153 8 months ago
@fram4153 Whoa, whoa, whoa there big fellow; how do you KNOW that that's a GUY in that suit? It could be a girl and they are SHE-bears after all. I agree with you otherwise.
BaronVonSchtupp88 5 months ago
@symor99 I see what you're getting at but isn't god approving of people that love and except all people? Telling some one that they are going to he'll and that they will never excepted by God is just the opposite.
loveygirl2345 8 months ago
@loveygirl2345 .....i think that the word you are looking for is 'accepted' not 'excepted'... very different meanings...I think that some remedial studies in English would help you greatly.
hatterpower 7 months ago
I love when he chocked out, "that's a very disproportionate response!" lol
loveygirl2345 8 months ago
What's the song at the end?
Myusernamerulez 8 months ago
The Bible also says that we are not to test Him. And God has a sense of humor. He has too...
punky4831 8 months ago
LOL
"God hates that shit."
DeadpoolFan16 8 months ago 3
@Teran305 Don't be an ass
clp1394 8 months ago
Actually. The original word means Youth, and there were hudreds of them. All baying for Elishas blood. They insulted a prophet of god, by telling him to "go on up" as Elijah his mentor had. The syrian bears were actually very small and the Junkie flickknife weilding yobs were going to kill Elisha but Jesus saved him by lightly wounding them all. Actually , no Thats all shit. Jesus is a infanticidal fuckwit and so are all christians who defend this passage
tommiatkins 8 months ago 9
@tommiatkins I sense anger LOL
Zresponder 5 months ago
@Zresponder Well, im happy the Elisha bear story is just the ravings of madmen in times of ignorance. What annoys me is that in modernity, Theists scramble to defend palpable bullshit with jibbering explainations. Then they have the sheer hipocracy to claim they are a force for morality.
Scorched70twink 5 months ago 2
@Scorched70twink I sense even more anger... LOL!!
Zresponder 5 months ago
@tommiatkins Are you seriously going in to detail about something that never really took place? How pathetic.
ChristopherLuck 4 months ago
@ChristopherLuck Of course it never took place! But Xtians will have to accept that it did if they want to be bible beleivers. Then they will have to fight tooth and nail to water down the awful fairy tale to mesh with modern values. Why all this hoop leaping? Well because , rather surprisingly, our morals have either outstripped the morals of iron age desert dwelling ignorants or they have outstripped Yawehs. :D I really love 2 kings 2. It makes theists squirm.
tommiatkins 4 months ago 2
@tommiatkins lol I didn't read the last bit that you wrote in the initial comment. Worded like a true Fundy, only to come to a sarcastic conclusion. I need to read more :p
ChristopherLuck 4 months ago
nice willhelm scream
K9affirmative 9 months ago 2
Divino Afflante Spirtu, issued in 1933, states that not all scripture is to be read purely literally, Bible scholars are supposed to interpret scripture.
What does this mean? God is all-powerful, fear Him.
gruosd 9 months ago
@gruosd Er...really? Because it sounds more to me like ancient superstition wasn't holding up against modern rationality, and the church had to cover itself...
Kniteblade89 9 months ago 3
Comment removed
gruosd 8 months ago
@Kniteblade89 Yes, some things in the Bible do not make sense. For example, Moses did not, obviously, write the part of the Book of Deuteronomy describing his own funeral. Some statements are wrong. Some statements are hyperboles. But, the Church wasn't protecting itself, it was taking a necessary step of progress that the Protestants had made centuries prior.
gruosd 8 months ago
@gruosd I'll correct your sentence that says, "Some statements are wrong." What you meant to say is, "Most statements weren't translated correctly and some statements were modified, added or deleted."
LawdMyEyes 6 months ago
@gruosd I'm glad that you understand this. Most people do not.
LawdMyEyes 6 months ago
hell yes for mortal kombat
nimbonate 9 months ago
@Sandslash37 yeah XD
tallyhoman911 9 months ago
Thumbs up if you think the Metal background music is kick ass.
By the way, do you know if it is a real song or just a backing track?
Luca89ibanez 9 months ago 2
Lmao at curb stomp for jesus...
xtremejohnny69 9 months ago
thumbs up if smosh sent you here
Madpolis7 9 months ago
Israel & Judea were in almost complete apostasy. Elisha had just been anointed prophet, and these young men showed their contempt for him. But they were actually showing contempt for YHWH. At the onset of a new venture, no quarter is granted to transgressors. Thus, about 3,000 died because of the golden calf, and Ananias & Sapphira dropped dead for lying about money. (Exodus 32:28, Acts 5:1-11)
OKandNOWwhat 9 months ago
is the preacher the guy from n00b boyfriend?
ople125125 9 months ago
WlLHELM SCREAM FTW
skittlebags77 9 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@jankendorf Do you have proof for your claim?
kbawesome101 9 months ago
@WhiteWica Pathetic
kbawesome101 9 months ago
Haha stupid religions are stupid
Salger12 9 months ago
Blasphemously hilarious!
pavellujardo 9 months ago
I'm Christian and I found this hilarious.
Skratche17 9 months ago
/watch?v=8oU7i_2Gjk8 Heres the link to a video thats supposed to prove that theres not judgement day or a god I need some one to watch it then give me there opinio
C0DStomper 9 months ago
Number 154000!!!
bananabomb1987 10 months ago
These guys should make ones about the talking donkey, the woman who nailed a tend peg through a man's head, and that time a talking serpent tempted a woman to stray from her husband to get some good ass fruit.
BuckDagby 10 months ago 25
@BuckDagby wasnt there a guy that lived inside of a fish too? lmao these are endless!
metalWIENERsolid 9 months ago
Thank God He's fiction!
jankendorf 10 months ago 2
@jankendorf Simple closed-mindedness. What you meant to say was, "Thank God I don't know if It is real or not, because I have no proof to theorize or deny the possibility, being in an infinite universe and all..."
LawdMyEyes 6 months ago
@LawdMyEyes Easy with the mushrooms, Einstein...
jankendorf 6 months ago
If religions were real then God would convert an athiest by curing my mums terminal cancer and letting her live in his love and glory rather than having her die.
kyral210 10 months ago 63
@kyral210 implying you can predict the behavior of an omnipotent and omniscient being who invented logic and physics and is not bound by their rules.
hedgehodge100 9 months ago
Even for a God omnipotence is impossible since it simply leads to contradictions.
Crisshomes1 9 months ago
@Crisshomes1 I just said God is not bound by any laws of logic and physics, therefore contradictions do not happen or can just as easily be averted. derp.
hedgehodge100 9 months ago
Do you have proof of such thing?
Crisshomes1 9 months ago
@Crisshomes1 I have proof that you are being egotistic- you're assuming that because something doesn't follow laws of physics and logic as worked out by hairless monkeys it cannot exist.
You're also assuming God needs such a silly concept as an existence to begin with.
hedgehodge100 9 months ago
I didnt said that,I only said even for a God Omnipotence is impossible.
Learn what omnipotence means,by the way whats with personal attacks?
Crisshomes1 9 months ago
@Crisshomes1 personal attacks? All I'm doing is pointing out how silly and utterly selfish it is to think about God in such "IF HE WAS REAL HE WOULD BEHAVE EXACTLY AS I THINK HE SHOULD BEHAVE" statements. If this guy I responded to was Fred Phelps you would have done the same
hedgehodge100 9 months ago
If I can't understand him then he can't judge me by his standards can he?
After all you can't judge a dog by humans standards can you?
Crisshomes1 9 months ago
@Crisshomes1 He's also omniscient, remember? So given that He created you, He very likely understands you, what you will be, what you are, and exactly how many molecules of what you are made of and where they come from and where they will go.
It's not the same as one biased talking pile of meat trying to judge another biased barking pile of meat.
look, the point was that He doesn't need to do SHIT to try and convince anyone of anything. Especially after all He's done and will do.
hedgehodge100 9 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
Read my comment again to understand.
Crisshomes1 9 months ago
@hedgehodge100 Crisshomes1 is a human being. A human being cannot process or hope to understand the full grandeur and infinity of God. It is just something that a, especially a closed mind, cannot do. Might as well give up on this one.
LawdMyEyes 6 months ago
How can you say so?
If it were not for our curiosity for the unknown we would still be in the stone age doing nothing.
It does not matter if we ever gather universal knowledge or not the importan thing is we never stop on "growing".
Crisshomes1 6 months ago
@LawdMyEyes
A closed mind is one that closes itself off to evidence in order to revel in its' own point of view. An open mind is one that considers all evidence equally and comes to a reasonable conclusion.
That makes religion insanely close minded, and atheism open minded.
It seems pretty obvious but for some reason, people like you get it completely backwards.
Ryakki 6 months ago
@Ryakki Incorrect. Both are closed-minded perspectives. And just for the record, what you just said is backwards. Good job.
LawdMyEyes 6 months ago
@LawdMyEyes
Being open to all evidence, and coming to the conclusion that's the most accurate and reasonable and being open to new evidence should it present itself... the atheist point of view... you honestly think that's close minded?
If you do, I really can't argue because... all I've got are logic fact and reason, and you're obviously not interested in any of that, lol.
Ryakki 6 months ago
@Ryakki I have heard this so many times. It is the result of a super-ego; willing to reduce and dismiss possibilities simply because their discovery is too difficult. Now if you are someone who is offended by possibility, then we cannot communicate. I'm a student, studying theoretical physics. If I do as you, and limit my mind to the very finite pile of primitive knowledge humans have accumulated over a few million years, then I could understand you -- I don't practice limitations as such.
LawdMyEyes 6 months ago
@LawdMyEyes Student studying theoretical physics should know better.. Do you believe in god(s)? Yes or no. There is no middle ground; Yes - you're a theist, No - you're an atheist. There is no "I don't know" because that's gnosticism and agnosticism. Everyone is an agnostic because no one knows if there is a god(s). But you can make up your own mind on belief. Maybe you just don't like labels but that's your own problem to deal with. You're not an intellectual so stop pretending.
trajaen534 2 months ago
Don't be offended by that. You and I as overgrown monkeys are simply on different levels of the evolutionary ladder. When I was 11, I superseded the notion that I could know everything by dismissing facets of an infinite universe that are beyond my knowledge. Instead, I consider possibilities to promote progress. Religion is closed by halting the flow of information; atheism is closed by dismissing the flow of information. Both social factions are completely useless to me.
LawdMyEyes 6 months ago
@LawdMyEyes should be overgrown "ape".
DBCOOPER888 5 months ago
@LawdMyEyes It's been awhile since you made this comment, but are you sure you even know what atheism is? Or when you wrote this maybe you were unaware.. atheism is lack of belief in deities, it has nothing to do with dismissing the flow of information. How is a non-belief in gods dismissive of information.. there is currently no evidence for gods, ergo you can't believe it rationally. Atheism doesn't make claims of certainty, it's about belief or lack thereof, not knowledge.
trajaen534 2 months ago 6
@hedgehodge100 I'm going to friend you. You seem to understand more than these overgrown monkeys.
LawdMyEyes 6 months ago
@Crisshomes1 Omnipotence suggests the notion of infinity; the finite human mind or machine cannot process infinity, therefore it does not register in our brains. If God is an infinity, assuming that God is the universe, everything within and outside of it, then God is beyond our understanding. It is something that we are not yet capable of understanding -- otherwise, we would all just say what you are saying, "It doesn't make sense."
LawdMyEyes 6 months ago
@hedgehodge100 Exactly. To reduce an omnipresence to insignificant human affairs is insulting at LEAST.
LawdMyEyes 6 months ago
@kyral210 its a mystery thats all i can say. and my respects to your mother peace be with her
ibidydo 9 months ago
@kyral210 I'm sorry for your loss. Truly. But God is with your mum. The meaning it that she's now resting in the arms of her Saviour. I know that this reply may seem petty and unimportant to you, but I'm just offering some insight.
The time when your mum was ill and alive may have been the time to convert. perhaps, the devil needed more power over you, so he had to take your mum. You needed just to pray harder and for once had an ounce of faith in something you've never believed in to save her.
NotreDameSentiento 9 months ago
@kyral210 God works in strange ways, ways if told to man, would make man almost as powerful as God himself, but then tempted by the devil to manifest it to evil in the most putrid ways.
I'm terribly terribly sorry for your loss, but I'm just a christian offering counsel. and I understand if all I give you is completely rubbish and you wish not to hear anything I have to say. But I just want to assure you. Perhaps this is the turning point to where you can start anew and pray for a better life.
NotreDameSentiento 9 months ago
@kyral210 Feel free to ignore the messages, but if you are even slightly open to any suggestions to ache your pain, please hear me out. There is a God. but he needs to be in your heart to amend your wounds. You need an open heart. . the devil just gets jealous of all His popularity over him, so he decides to do little deeds every now and then tempt the minds of us, humans. After all, we know all so little and are infinitely learning. Try praying to God about the common good deeds for one day.
NotreDameSentiento 9 months ago
@NotreDameSentiento You're so sure "god" exists, but I don't think you've ever considered if Allah, Vishnu, Buddha, Thor, Seuss or some other gods were real. Is it because you're afraid god will reject you if you do it? Are you christian because you were raised as a christian? What if you were born in India? Then you'd most likely be a hindu and say the exactly the same thing about some hindu god as you say about the god you believe in now. It seems to me that all religions are manmade.
audveltadmuna 9 months ago
@audveltadmuna Interesting fact. While it is true that religions cannot be based upon fact of their existence because all we know about them is from book, folklore, tales and whatnot, notice how I've not mentioned in any definite and exact term from the BIble,or Torah, or anything. Because I don't believe in religion as a fact, moreover as another theory of creation. But not seriously. I would like to think the seven days of creation was not being literal but meaning something else somewhat real
NotreDameSentiento 9 months ago
@NotreDameSentiento Well, I don't see anything wrong with following one of the saner religions if it really feels good to you and doesn't ruin your perspective of reality. But so many people who go to church every week are selective believers, and once you presume you can pick and choose from what you want to believe, then you might as well seek out more precisely what you believe. Many of those - most? - have chosen atheism on this path. I think that's interesting.
Qermaq 9 months ago
@NotreDameSentiento Ok, lets start with the basics. Before you assert that the origine and architect of spirituality in the universe is the God of Christianity you have to assert that supernatural elements truely exist. Just saying 'god is love' doesnt argue or prove the point that supernatural elemtents are a real and influential entity in the universe. Unfortunately there is no evidence for such supernatural elements outside our own emotions, which is not demonstration of physical reality
kyral210 9 months ago
@kyral210 Keep in mind that we've only existed for around 3 billion years. and the universe alone is a trillion years and growing. Honestly, we don't know everything about everywhere all at once, so I like to keep an open mind about the confines of our 'reality'. There is a God. but he just doesn't exist the way everyone keeps telling him he is. There is a saying but this Renaissance man, "There is only 1 true religion, but there are a thousand different versions of it".
NotreDameSentiento 9 months ago
@NotreDameSentiento Consider a question such as 'why is the universe the way it is', on one side the theological argument of 'it was created out of nothing by an omnipiant superbeing' (backed up by 1 book) and on the other the scientific view of 'rapid and continual expansion of a singularity and matter change through stars' (backed up by masses of evidence which has a very low margin of 'error'. We dont know everything, but that doesn't mean we know nothing.
kyral210 9 months ago
@NotreDameSentiento Additionally, stating that there categorically is a god 'because there is' is not an argument for existence it is a statement. It is as strong as Bertrand Russel saying that 'there just is' a flying teapot. The progress of the 20th century in science and technology has let you use a computer in your home, wiped out smallpox and certainly saved your life. We dont know everything, but we know enough to say that there probably is no god as the the god hypothesis solves nothing
kyral210 9 months ago
@kyral210 I guess its her time
renoretards 9 months ago
@kyral210 You know that he would never try to save someone, if he would act, he would another illness!
Painfulldarksoul 9 months ago
@kyral210 we all gotta die sometimes
kyuubisharinan3296 9 months ago
@kyral210 ur lack of faith is why she is dead
Teran305 8 months ago
@Teran305 WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO SIT THERE AND PASS JUDGEMENT? You are not a fucking god. You are a simple person. You sit here and blame him for his mother's cancer? because he doesn't believe what you believe? Last thing THE BIBLE says is without jesus, you go to hell. That means he would be in hell, not his mother. You ignorant fuck. God won't save you. You will burn in the very hell you put on others. When you pass, His mother will give you the pain you gave to her son.(sorry @kyral210)
seymor99 8 months ago
@Teran305 How? So a loving 'god' would kill someone because I didn't believe in him? If that is your position is correct then 'god' is a god of hate
kyral210 8 months ago
@kyral210 people have to die its a part of life and u shud do research because i pretty sure it doesnt say anywhere in the bible that god will kill you if you dont believe dumbfuck
Teran305 8 months ago
@Teran305 Deuteronomy 13
DsyelxicBob 7 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@Teran305 "i pretty sure it doesnt say anywhere in the bible that god will kill you if you dont believe dumbfuck" rofl rofl rofl. that's MOST of the bible. I guess if you just listen to your pastor/rabbi/priest/witchdoctor and don't actually do any of your own study, this "god" guy must sound like a pretty cool bro. rofl.
kirixen 1 month ago
@Teran305 that's either a bad joke or you are a jerk
Zokunen666 6 months ago
@kyral210
Man I feel sorry for you. :/
VictumRoManius 8 months ago
@kyral210 well death is inevitable its either fast and painless or slow and painful
TheBoomdoom 8 months ago
@TheBoomdoom spoken as somone who does not know death. To those of you who have said hate, please consider what you say the bible and god is. But ultimately, I stand by my statement. 'miracles' only ever seem to help conditions which are so mild they may go away naturally, or be misdiagnosed. As I sit here what would convert me? Simple, an amputee regrowing a leg and on that leg a birthmark saying 'with love, Jesus/ God/ Holy Ghost'
kyral210 8 months ago
@kyral210 what is the point in that reply? of course i do not know how death feels the only people who do are DEAD. death, no longer consciously existing, being no more, sould leaving the body, reincarnation, afterlife, or sitting in a grave for eternity.
TheBoomdoom 8 months ago
@kyral210 Ridiculous and naive. God is not some vending machine, where you can put in a quarter and out comes whatever you want. God is the structure and entropy of everything. God's will FAR exceeds tiny human affairs. Affairs so insignificant to the grandeur of the universe, they don't even register in the size of a grain of sand in comparison to the Earth. All humans are subject to death and decay; get over it.
LawdMyEyes 6 months ago
there's such thing as religions silly.... :P
steviewonder74CEA 10 months ago
This is pure awesomeness!!
tey1984 10 months ago
In all fairness to "G-d" and Elijah, the end quote said the she-bears mauled 42 youths. It didn't say they all necessarily DIED. Or maybe it's a mis-translation of "malled" as in "The she-bears took the 42 youths to the shopping mall for the afternoon; they malled the day away" (past tense of the made-up verb "to mall").
BaronVonSchtupp88 10 months ago
@BaronVonSchtupp88 Hahahaha
newyears912 10 months ago
@BaronVonSchtupp88 Umm. Yeah. Well, Kings is written in Hebrew, so I doubt the mistranslation would work like it would in English. Plus, I doubt they had a verb "to mall" in Hebrew of the 6th Century BCE.
ortcutt 10 months ago
@ortcutt And the moral of the story is there should be a "Sarcasm; yes or no" button on youtube posts. newyears912 got the joke. It should have been obvious when I alluded to "mall" being a false verb. Also, I was making fun of Bible historians who state ideas such as "The Red Sea is probably a mis-translation of Sea Of Reeds" or things in that vein (or did I mean weather vane or You're So Vain").
BaronVonSchtupp88 10 months ago
I LOL'D when they table topped him. xD
StuarttStewie 10 months ago
LOL LIGHTNING BEAR! 2:20
CreativeUsernameEh 10 months ago
I loved this video! Made my morning with a laugh, kudos!
BLSSDMF1979 11 months ago
Death to all religions
WhiteWica 11 months ago
Haduken!!! bwhahaha awesomeness, wish they would have snuck in a t-bag too:P
sanzabar9r 11 months ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
I'm a Christian and I can see the that this video is trying to be funny, but I just don't think it is. It's dumb.
EdwardNygma1 11 months ago
I wold pay big money to buy a movie with a bunch of these skits!
ooosteve 11 months ago
Jesus rocks!
DeaconJericho 11 months ago
Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of atheist assholes and religious weirdos arguing on an obviously humorous video.
ImJTHM 11 months ago
@ImJTHM even jesus would have fun watching this :)
tweepixie 11 months ago
@ImJTHM LoL, don't you find it ironic that you're bitching over what people do in the comic section of an obviously humorous video? If the video is all the matters, then why cry over the comment section? (I love pwning idiots) :D
Sav3TheWorld 11 months ago