I really admire this womans strength, it takes a lot to speak out. And I hope that she is at peace today. None of what that manipulative man said to her was true, I really hope she understands this. The inner child speaks out in so many different ways, sometimes it's difficult to keep the mindless chatter at bay. You are so kind to be her advocate, having somebody else understand the workings of ones own mind can very often be the matter between life and insanity. Peace to you both :)
@fuckoffycus It did take a great deal of strength for her to share this, and I know was perhaps a step in the long healing process. She has told me she listened to it many times, it brought home to her how untrue the assertions made had been. I hope also it may help others in a similar position to see the same.
any one who abuses young girls are sick...they are Bullies ans cowards every single one of them...every single girl has a God given right not to be abused by any one....I was abused when i was at school and bullied so i do know just how it feels...It makes you feel afraid sad lonely and ashamed to all the young girls out their Never let any one Abuse you even if you know the person....Never ever lat ony one everdo that to you...God Bless from Chris.
It is utterly beyond me how anyone could find this story pornographic even if they are predominantly attracted to children. This is not even a story of sexual gratification but sexual humiliation, or at least it became the latter as she got older.
It makes me very angry when people make a tabboo of this issue. Denial that it happens silences victims and gives a license to those that commit such crimes to do so with inpunity.
I think this is part of the problem. It appears paedophiles are aroused by power, humiliation and manipulation as much as they are by sexual gratification alone. It's the fear and pain they cause, control over another which gives them what they want. To most that makes no sense at all, well to any sane being it doesn't.
It is evident in this case story certainly but I do not believe this is generally the case. Certainly I would say it is in this one and this sounds like a case of repeated and protracted physical and mental abuse of unusual severity.
I do hope this video goes somewhere good. Vengeance never does any good but in this case I would smile at the thought of this individual living the rest of his life where he should have placed decades ago - in a maximum security psychiatric jail.
A paedophiles sexuality is invariably distorted in more ways than their attraction to children.
I hope this video goes somewhere good too. I hope it helps in the healing of the individual in question and I hope it helps others who have been abused to see what happened to them could not possibly be their fault and that speaking out can be productive and helpful.
Heavy Cathy, that was a big step in just letting it go that a person can find their voice after so much abuse. so many times they go unheard and down a wrong path in their own mind. So much negativity but it can be over come with the 1st step to being open with the right people and releasing all that energy in a positive way. like a dam to water, all that pressure needs not to be controlled but Released. your story here and your creativity in what you do is your best way of dealing with it.
Yes, heavy, not easy listening or speaking, but sometimes things need exposing even if they cause discomfort. I just want to make clear, as your words seem to suggest it, this is not my story. I am a mouthpiece for someone else. But yes, being open with those who can be supportive and encouraging is very important.
well, this is a horrifying testimonial, to be sure. as a father of a girl who is 12 years old, i can't see how someone could do such a thing. i hope that the person who suffered this torture finds some sort of peace in their life.
Possibly, though I've found in my interactions with victims of abuse over the years that what matters more is that they find a voice and others who have been through similar and can truly empathise, support and help in the healing process. Professional advice is often not much use.
I agree..BUT some of the groups are about victims helping each other...Two such groups are Sexual Abuse Survivors In Recovery Anonymous and Incest Survivors Anonymous...There are probably others that do similar things, but which don't require the same tactic of bearing witness to the horror in order to heal. It could be that some take a different strategy...But I agree that only another victim of this is likely to know how to truly empathize and understand the extent of the damage.
What you say here regarding certain groups tactics is what I might take issue with. For some it's just what is needed, for others just having your hand forced in another way. This young woman whose story I tell here made a powerful choice for herself and that to me is a huge step, to claim back your right to choose, and how you wish to heal.
It's certainly a valid point that any person [both genders can be victims of this] needs to find ways to reconstruct their sense of self in ways which they find helpful...I have had known people who have suffered this kind of appalling abuse, and the telling & retelling of the horrors can for therapeutic for some.
I was simply pointing out that there ARE safe places to do that..You're absolutely right that might not be the choice for some victims, but it can, for some, be very helpful...
Oh I agree with you, I wasn't disputing what you said. And thank you for pointing out that both genders can be victims. I too have known a number of victims and males may often find it much harder to share or address this for fairly obvious reasons. Thanks for your input Karen, I really do appreciate it.
sorry to call some of your subs idiots ma'am, but they are.
that someone would listen to this and bother to comment that some make up stories for sympathy or that the victim should have spoken up sooner is just downright no damn good.
This is the very reason I've been so reluctant to make a video about what I know of the holocaust, even though it's been requested a number of times. It seems that when any topic which is so appaling as to cause real pain if acknowledged comes up, there will be those who seek to minimise or dismiss it. It's an unfortunate aspect of human nature which allows atrocities to continue.
It's a fair point, but when your survival has been dependant on your silence and invisibility it can be a huge hurdle to overcome. If I can find a way to say what I want re the holocause I will do it though.
No, victims of abuse are not obligated to do anything, though hopefully choosing to break their silence can have many effects, most importantly their own healing. As for the holocaust it's (for me at least) less to do with the dismissers and more to do with wanting to honour what my father would have wanted. It's hard to explain, when I make the video I'll try to.
From Lisa, Thank you for shining the light into this dark corner, BTW dog has a log for me to follow, i just today got to your other siteTaboo, Heres a hug for you, :) my oh my, your life has been a whirlwind recently, :) sincerely
Desovamed, please go back and watch other videos by Loreleila... the very nature of the crime is that you do not tell, that you believe it is your fault, beyond all reason. Please do not judge this victim, she does that enough for herself.
Indeed. I think if you've never investigated this or suffered it it can be hard to imagine that anyone would not shout it from the rooftops. But it's a complex subject and I'm proud of the person who found the courage to speak. I sincerely hope it will help both her and others.
I am so sorry that you were violated by someone who is supposed to love and protect you. I hope hearing your own story out loud will help with your healing process.
Loreleila, thank you for being a voice for this woman.
i would guess that she felt silence was her only option - this abuse began when she was very young. when that's the case, children grow into adults, but their concept of self and perception of the world has been shaped by their experience. this girl's experience did not include being an advocate for herself. she litterally grew up in fear and silence and it is deeply ingrained in her. i hope that this is the beginning of a journey for her and that she feels supported to continue it.
I suggest you research into this subject if you are genuinely interested in the answer to that. Perhaps also try and imagine yourself as a tiny child under the power of someone who should act as your protector telling you not to speak, and then maybe you might find a more helpful and compassionate question to ask or response to give. Yes, it would be good if all who performed these atrocities were removed from society, but the responsibility does not lie with the victim.
It's very complex hon... I honestly do understand the question, and it's hard to explain in a forum like this. Suffice it to say, it ain't that easy. An adult who was abused as a child, especially by a trusted parent, can't just shake the control once they are 18. The psychological hold a parent can have over a child is strong no matter what, but in an abuse relationship it can be unbreakable.
MontogmeryRats explains it well. When you've learnt that to survive you must be silent it's a huge barrier to overcome. Also the fallout of telling, both emotional, legal and for the family and person in question requires great strength, and the abused generally use their strength just to survive and stay sane in a world that makes no sense.
I can't imagine experiencing the terror that made such a story come into existence... The saddest part is that this sick kind of behavior is a lot more common than I once believed, and most probably in all instances it leaves the victim scarred and dysfunctional for life! No wonder you didn't exactly relish making this video...
Indeed. And it is this fear of speaking, the silence kept that allows so much of it to remain hidden. This happens in other scenarios of misuse of power, which I may make a video on at some point. But all credit to this person who found the courage to break that, because until more do it can continue virtually unnoticed and unaddressed.
you could be born a hetrosexual, you can be born a homosexual,or even a greek paedophiliac philosopher.the only thing going for us is we was nither of the later.
He has a point Stuart, and I'd really appreciate it if you could avoid turning this into some sort of meaningless conflict and failing to see the significance of what the video is really all about.
I'm concerned about this topic because I have dated women who have been sexually abused. I have heard about other women I have known who have also been abused, and my partner today was once a victim. I also personally know a few men who have been abused... Generally, they don't talk about it much if at all, but they are definitely hurting and angry because of it. I just can't understand why anyone would do such a thing...
The fact you have known so many to whom this has happened shows the scale of the problem. And I'd like to bet most of them didn't make it public knowledge, which is entirely understandable, but it keeps this horrible dirty secret an area most can ignore and free to be perpetuated. I don't understand how anyone can do it either. Ones natural instict is to protect the vulnerable, not harm them. I would die to prevent my children from being harmed.
I really admire this womans strength, it takes a lot to speak out. And I hope that she is at peace today. None of what that manipulative man said to her was true, I really hope she understands this. The inner child speaks out in so many different ways, sometimes it's difficult to keep the mindless chatter at bay. You are so kind to be her advocate, having somebody else understand the workings of ones own mind can very often be the matter between life and insanity. Peace to you both :)
fuckoffycus 1 year ago
@fuckoffycus It did take a great deal of strength for her to share this, and I know was perhaps a step in the long healing process. She has told me she listened to it many times, it brought home to her how untrue the assertions made had been. I hope also it may help others in a similar position to see the same.
Loreleila 1 year ago
any one who abuses young girls are sick...they are Bullies ans cowards every single one of them...every single girl has a God given right not to be abused by any one....I was abused when i was at school and bullied so i do know just how it feels...It makes you feel afraid sad lonely and ashamed to all the young girls out their Never let any one Abuse you even if you know the person....Never ever lat ony one everdo that to you...God Bless from Chris.
OneAngelFive 2 years ago
Thanks for your thoughts Chris. :)
Loreleila 2 years ago
Christ. This father deserves so much pain.
BENY0HAMA 2 years ago
Indeed Ben.
Loreleila 2 years ago
It is utterly beyond me how anyone could find this story pornographic even if they are predominantly attracted to children. This is not even a story of sexual gratification but sexual humiliation, or at least it became the latter as she got older.
It makes me very angry when people make a tabboo of this issue. Denial that it happens silences victims and gives a license to those that commit such crimes to do so with inpunity.
ChrisJMoor 2 years ago
I think this is part of the problem. It appears paedophiles are aroused by power, humiliation and manipulation as much as they are by sexual gratification alone. It's the fear and pain they cause, control over another which gives them what they want. To most that makes no sense at all, well to any sane being it doesn't.
As to your latter statement I quite agree.
Loreleila 2 years ago
It is evident in this case story certainly but I do not believe this is generally the case. Certainly I would say it is in this one and this sounds like a case of repeated and protracted physical and mental abuse of unusual severity.
I do hope this video goes somewhere good. Vengeance never does any good but in this case I would smile at the thought of this individual living the rest of his life where he should have placed decades ago - in a maximum security psychiatric jail.
ChrisJMoor 2 years ago
A paedophiles sexuality is invariably distorted in more ways than their attraction to children.
I hope this video goes somewhere good too. I hope it helps in the healing of the individual in question and I hope it helps others who have been abused to see what happened to them could not possibly be their fault and that speaking out can be productive and helpful.
Loreleila 2 years ago
Heavy Cathy, that was a big step in just letting it go that a person can find their voice after so much abuse. so many times they go unheard and down a wrong path in their own mind. So much negativity but it can be over come with the 1st step to being open with the right people and releasing all that energy in a positive way. like a dam to water, all that pressure needs not to be controlled but Released. your story here and your creativity in what you do is your best way of dealing with it.
czarwright 2 years ago
Yes, heavy, not easy listening or speaking, but sometimes things need exposing even if they cause discomfort. I just want to make clear, as your words seem to suggest it, this is not my story. I am a mouthpiece for someone else. But yes, being open with those who can be supportive and encouraging is very important.
Loreleila 2 years ago
well, this is a horrifying testimonial, to be sure. as a father of a girl who is 12 years old, i can't see how someone could do such a thing. i hope that the person who suffered this torture finds some sort of peace in their life.
MrJoeCage 2 years ago 5
I don't know how anyone can do it either. I hope all who have been abused find a way to liberate themselves from the chains it imposes.
Loreleila 2 years ago
Might make sense to add helpful links for victims in the sidebar..
2bsirius 2 years ago
Possibly, though I've found in my interactions with victims of abuse over the years that what matters more is that they find a voice and others who have been through similar and can truly empathise, support and help in the healing process. Professional advice is often not much use.
Loreleila 2 years ago
I agree..BUT some of the groups are about victims helping each other...Two such groups are Sexual Abuse Survivors In Recovery Anonymous and Incest Survivors Anonymous...There are probably others that do similar things, but which don't require the same tactic of bearing witness to the horror in order to heal. It could be that some take a different strategy...But I agree that only another victim of this is likely to know how to truly empathize and understand the extent of the damage.
2bsirius 2 years ago
What you say here regarding certain groups tactics is what I might take issue with. For some it's just what is needed, for others just having your hand forced in another way. This young woman whose story I tell here made a powerful choice for herself and that to me is a huge step, to claim back your right to choose, and how you wish to heal.
Loreleila 2 years ago
It's certainly a valid point that any person [both genders can be victims of this] needs to find ways to reconstruct their sense of self in ways which they find helpful...I have had known people who have suffered this kind of appalling abuse, and the telling & retelling of the horrors can for therapeutic for some.
I was simply pointing out that there ARE safe places to do that..You're absolutely right that might not be the choice for some victims, but it can, for some, be very helpful...
2bsirius 2 years ago
Oh I agree with you, I wasn't disputing what you said. And thank you for pointing out that both genders can be victims. I too have known a number of victims and males may often find it much harder to share or address this for fairly obvious reasons. Thanks for your input Karen, I really do appreciate it.
Loreleila 2 years ago
sorry to call some of your subs idiots ma'am, but they are.
that someone would listen to this and bother to comment that some make up stories for sympathy or that the victim should have spoken up sooner is just downright no damn good.
alovelytime 2 years ago
This is the very reason I've been so reluctant to make a video about what I know of the holocaust, even though it's been requested a number of times. It seems that when any topic which is so appaling as to cause real pain if acknowledged comes up, there will be those who seek to minimise or dismiss it. It's an unfortunate aspect of human nature which allows atrocities to continue.
Loreleila 2 years ago
i will add myself to those who request that video about the holocaust.
that atrocities continue due to some dissmissing them perhaps comes second to not revealing and discussing them repeatedly or at all.
alovelytime 2 years ago
It's a fair point, but when your survival has been dependant on your silence and invisibility it can be a huge hurdle to overcome. If I can find a way to say what I want re the holocause I will do it though.
Loreleila 2 years ago
i don't feel that victims of child abuse are obligated to speak, reveal or advocate.
the holocaust though is something that should be discussed if you feel the urge, damn the dismissers.
alovelytime 2 years ago
No, victims of abuse are not obligated to do anything, though hopefully choosing to break their silence can have many effects, most importantly their own healing. As for the holocaust it's (for me at least) less to do with the dismissers and more to do with wanting to honour what my father would have wanted. It's hard to explain, when I make the video I'll try to.
Loreleila 2 years ago
From Lisa, Thank you for shining the light into this dark corner, BTW dog has a log for me to follow, i just today got to your other siteTaboo, Heres a hug for you, :) my oh my, your life has been a whirlwind recently, :) sincerely
747dog 2 years ago
Thank you Lisa. Yes, it's been quite a year, and not done yet.
Loreleila 2 years ago
Desovamed, please go back and watch other videos by Loreleila... the very nature of the crime is that you do not tell, that you believe it is your fault, beyond all reason. Please do not judge this victim, she does that enough for herself.
MontgomeryRats 2 years ago 3
Indeed. I think if you've never investigated this or suffered it it can be hard to imagine that anyone would not shout it from the rooftops. But it's a complex subject and I'm proud of the person who found the courage to speak. I sincerely hope it will help both her and others.
Loreleila 2 years ago
I am so sorry that you were violated by someone who is supposed to love and protect you. I hope hearing your own story out loud will help with your healing process.
Loreleila, thank you for being a voice for this woman.
heatherlynblue 2 years ago 2
And thank you for your compassionate and understanding response Heather.
Loreleila 2 years ago
....aaand why didn't she tell anyone again? She could have had that fucker locked for life had she said one thing to anyone during that time.
Desovamed 2 years ago
i would guess that she felt silence was her only option - this abuse began when she was very young. when that's the case, children grow into adults, but their concept of self and perception of the world has been shaped by their experience. this girl's experience did not include being an advocate for herself. she litterally grew up in fear and silence and it is deeply ingrained in her. i hope that this is the beginning of a journey for her and that she feels supported to continue it.
heatherlynblue 2 years ago
I suggest you research into this subject if you are genuinely interested in the answer to that. Perhaps also try and imagine yourself as a tiny child under the power of someone who should act as your protector telling you not to speak, and then maybe you might find a more helpful and compassionate question to ask or response to give. Yes, it would be good if all who performed these atrocities were removed from society, but the responsibility does not lie with the victim.
Loreleila 2 years ago
I didn't mean when she was a child, but as an adult with a child herself, she still didn't say anything?
Desovamed 2 years ago
It's very complex hon... I honestly do understand the question, and it's hard to explain in a forum like this. Suffice it to say, it ain't that easy. An adult who was abused as a child, especially by a trusted parent, can't just shake the control once they are 18. The psychological hold a parent can have over a child is strong no matter what, but in an abuse relationship it can be unbreakable.
MontgomeryRats 2 years ago 2
MontogmeryRats explains it well. When you've learnt that to survive you must be silent it's a huge barrier to overcome. Also the fallout of telling, both emotional, legal and for the family and person in question requires great strength, and the abused generally use their strength just to survive and stay sane in a world that makes no sense.
Loreleila 2 years ago
another idiot.
alovelytime 2 years ago
I can't imagine experiencing the terror that made such a story come into existence... The saddest part is that this sick kind of behavior is a lot more common than I once believed, and most probably in all instances it leaves the victim scarred and dysfunctional for life! No wonder you didn't exactly relish making this video...
fehquig 2 years ago
Indeed. And it is this fear of speaking, the silence kept that allows so much of it to remain hidden. This happens in other scenarios of misuse of power, which I may make a video on at some point. But all credit to this person who found the courage to break that, because until more do it can continue virtually unnoticed and unaddressed.
Loreleila 2 years ago
theres also a lot of people who make things up for sympathy.i should know.
popebenadict16 2 years ago
That's true, but not relevant here, nor helpful for those who spend decades summoning the courage to speak.
Loreleila 2 years ago
you could be born a hetrosexual, you can be born a homosexual,or even a greek paedophiliac philosopher.the only thing going for us is we was nither of the later.
popebenadict16 2 years ago
idiot.
alovelytime 2 years ago 2
alovelytime. with a name like that theres only one idiot round here.
popebenadict16 2 years ago
He has a point Stuart, and I'd really appreciate it if you could avoid turning this into some sort of meaningless conflict and failing to see the significance of what the video is really all about.
Loreleila 2 years ago
sorry.
popebenadict16 2 years ago
I'm concerned about this topic because I have dated women who have been sexually abused. I have heard about other women I have known who have also been abused, and my partner today was once a victim. I also personally know a few men who have been abused... Generally, they don't talk about it much if at all, but they are definitely hurting and angry because of it. I just can't understand why anyone would do such a thing...
fehquig 2 years ago
The fact you have known so many to whom this has happened shows the scale of the problem. And I'd like to bet most of them didn't make it public knowledge, which is entirely understandable, but it keeps this horrible dirty secret an area most can ignore and free to be perpetuated. I don't understand how anyone can do it either. Ones natural instict is to protect the vulnerable, not harm them. I would die to prevent my children from being harmed.
Loreleila 2 years ago