Touchless Society

[PsychologicalCynic]

I have read up on multiple websites that adolescence who engage in touch with each other... Have a EXTREMELY lower chance of becoming criminals. But just like the top rated comment on this very video, people will not take it, you, me, science, psychology or anything that sounds funny seriously. My advice? Just laugh at them. Laugh while they suffer and don't know what they want in life. That's what i do, and it gets me on well enough.

[PsychologicalCynic]

Meh. That's our society, We (Americans) Hate each other. Say i'm wrong, but i can argue to the grave. We don't want to be around each other, we don't wanna look at each other, we just want to be alone. But when you look at it... We see any kind of touch as sexual, there is not comfort touch for guys. If a girl touches you, she wants your nuts, apart from that, she is a tease. That is how western society is.

[hamberg42]

lol "if two guys held hands" that would be pretty gay.

Your not a guy so I guess you can't get it.

[kingofaikido]

the study of proxemics is interesting...touch, body-space differences across cultures.. i'm living in spain where people kiss each other twice on the cheeks as a greeting... touch is not as aggressive even between males...greetings in letters often end with the words...'hugs' .... funny huh! a study was done across the world on which societies touch more and which less...the English touched least...basically never, i think it was one south american country that clocked 27 touches per hour..

[Mauricioantoniofranc]

I live in Colombia, here, the "touch culture" here is a lot more accepting, the thing is, I think, that people DO need their own personal space, because, if people are invading your space, your privacy, all the time, well... it doesn't leave you much space to define your own ways of interaction, you end up reacting on the actions of others, or, losing the regard you have for the touch itself, I know that last one certainly is the case here.

[kiahcoud]

i just dont touch people cos i just hate people. i dont want to know them and i dont want to be with other people. i dont want to be or have someone be affectionate. whats the point?! as long as youre polite and nice why do you need to touch a person? good points, but i think you should consider the indidual other than just a society in general.

[rustambayli]

great stuff.

[YouKnowMeImJosh]

I don't like to touch people or be touched by them but that's just mostly because I just hate most people. My own issue though maybe, and something separate ol?

[pomb123]

If children don't experience a simple touch at an early age it has a profound impact on their neurological brain structure which is responsible for sensory, emotional and coginitive development. The neurons in a childs brain are formed by sensory experiences which are cruicial to development. 'Untouched' children grow into seriously affected teens and adults. In some cases it can result in child-death as the systems which register sensations both physically and emotionally can crash completely.

[adderbrain5]

i lived in spain for a while and there people kiss on both cheeks whenever they meet even if they have never met before. People always touch when talking to eachother, people you dont know will pat you on the back etc. In spain americans are considered the least friendly/least open to physical contact even more so than northern europeans

[dogwood523]

Thank You Thepoasm...I understand what you are saying, and I agree, I am a very kinesthetic (touchy feely ) type of man...however in our society the "TOUCH" is not "Allowed" esp. for men... I LOve to hug children...non-sexually, of course...(notice the disclaimer...)but I had to wait until I was a grandfather for it to be more tolerated in regard to touch.....CIAO

Of course there are those who would and do exploit touching...I am Strongly OPPOSED to that...

[smoothsk8r44]

She is much cuter than 'sprikett24'

[PerryCS2]

I wish our society wasn't so isolated as well. We travel in boxes (cars), like in boxes (houses), we ride up and down in boxes (elevators), I kinda wish society wasn't heading towards more isolation. Makes it harder to meet people.

I study people all the time. See if a smile sent receives a smile back. It's nice when complete strangers smile back.

Would be nice to just cuddle up on a couch watching a movie with a female friend without expectations of anything. (out of space)...

[Bennyisfenny]

"Women's studies class...ooo". Lol, what does that mean?

[novanine]

You make good points.

You should check out the 'Free Hugs Campaign'. You will be pleased by what you see.

[avkrules]

in hong kong, you can sleep on someone's shoulder in the subway - and its normal.

(saw it in an ad)

its a cultural thing.

in india, guys and girls hold hands in any order w/o issue.

its a cultural thing.

anyway... ask urself what does it feel like watching these videos again so many months later??

if ur laughing, its good. if ur not... thats too bad.

[MicroCorp]

Guess what? You're dumb. Stop being really insightful and intelligent. Jesus! It's too much to take. EVER. Also, to this guy below me- get bent, go see a shrink, then jump off the roof of a fast moving car naked so you can get chees gratered by the asphalt. Just a suggestion.

[tneshi]

Touch me.

I love watching people too. Most people react pretty awkward to me watching them. Every now and then somebody smiles. And I can live on that for days.

Another thing I got thinking about while I watched is: do we enjoy listening to the thought of a stranger for 5m57s - offline?

[creativeevolution]

You got bunny eyes:>

[pennygoo]

oh yeah, and i also 'watch' people.

i'm happy to know that i'm not the only one!

[pennygoo]

yeah... now in high school, you hear about people having sex...

i dont mean to scare anyone, though!

just, i see girls hugging and holding hands, but no boys.

[pel1can]

theopasm, i'd hug you if i were there! hope this helps.

[clyphox]

will more questions and words help us out of this confusion

Maybe there's something growing inside us which will reject all this confusion and we will learn to love strangers.

Sadly for people to bond tightly (as I've observed) requires true trails and tribulations (and no NOT terror.. thats a concept foreign to people who are just barely able to eat daily)

Just plain old hard times, thats when we learn to stand together like good penguins (IE: selfless self-preservation)

[Chrijz]

True words. Men holding hands is a bit too much, and russian guys that kiss each other (to show friendship) is extreme, lol.

[chirpwi]

thanks...i feel ok about touching myself now

[Graanvlok]

I agree! And I also miss holding hands with my friends, male or female.

[dsr231]

Very interesting post. Nice to see some serious thought here.....

[lilmrdude]

what you say is true, but its mostly in america (im not singiling out america as a anti social country)

but you notice that in a lot of other countrys like, brazil, europe, and countrys like that people live in a lot less "touchless society".

For example; in brazil they greet eachother by kissing cheeks, and thats totally normal there, theres no awkwardness when people do that, whereas in america you NEVER see people, even family, kiss like that.

[lalululala]

I totally agree with you,I mean I'm latin american, and what it's achlee "weird" it's to greet at somebody without cheek kissing, because it's even inpolite, and even being tennagers we can hold our friends hands (girl-girl or boy-girl) without being nothing romantic or sexual or homosexual,,that's really an american or european problem, and what I achlee don't get is why do u have that problem and we don't

[BlacklitFloater]

I also think it's sad how like it's seen as gross if even people in YOUR FAMILY kiss.. I mean, like I have a friend or two that are like "eww you'd kiss your dad on the cheek" and I kiss my mom on the cheek and give her a hug and I was raised that way.

It's nice when people touch you out of love, and I do agree it would be better if people weren't so uptight about people touched every now and then.

[kevinellerton]

hey... thank you for this video. i love you in a totally inappropriate way ;-) have you dug into the Judeo-Christian roots of this? I'd be interested to hear your take on that. the only thing i disagree about is male-male touch... i see anthro thru evolution (i'm a physical anthropologist). touch btw babies and adults has an evolutionary purpose. females w/ males has an evolutionary purpose. males w/ males... not so much. males need to maintain boundaries against genetic competitors.

[emopalstrawberri]

I totally agree. WHEN BABIES AREN'T TOUCHED THEY EXPERIENCE A HEARTBREAKING "FAILURE TO THRIVE," AND THEY DIE. I THINK THAT ADULTS EXPERIENCE FAILURE TO THRIVE ALSO; THEY DIE TOO--IT JUST TAKES A LOT LONGER. BUT IT IS STILL JUST AS SAD...DID you see the Iraqi orphans last week? These boys that were chained to their beds, and starving, because the aid (food and clothing) they had been "receiving" was being sold on the black market. It makes me sick...I agree. Let's hug someone today!!

[parispeter2]

I think this is very interesting. Of course there are always limits to touch in any society, but probably American society - but not only - is quite extreme here. Doesn't that tell us something about our relationship to our own bodies? I don't know, but it set me thinking! It's a whole research project!

[PaulBuffalo]

Jeez that was good. Your absolutely right. You need to listen to yourself. Touch can be communication. Experiment. When a woman holds my arm or elbow it's warm but not sexual. It's kind of old school to assume women holding hands or touching automatically are lesbians. Some people are always going to think that and yell out epithets. Are you going to let them have that power? You might get books to learn about touching. You could volunteer or do a job that let you touch people a lot.

[theshadowed1]

I don't think the "man hug" is neccisarily unhealthy I just think aggrestion in its loose form is apart of a man's dna but when i hug my buddy josh with the "man hug" it is just as an intamate thing as when I hug my friend Lindsey just wired differently I suppose. but I agree with what your saying.

[Retrovertigo26]

Men are not supposed to feel emotions that get in the way of competitive and analytical thinking because they expose vulnerability, and lack of touching is an indicator of this. The result is that any emotion except competitive ones like aggression and cunning which "fill in" for the emotions exposing vulnerability) sort of die off.

[swazzleberry]

It bothers me too. I wish it were more acceptable... but at the same time, I get a little weirded out when people touch me too much. In high school, other girls would run up to me all the time and hug me and for some reason it really made me uncomfortable. I'm not sure why.

[Aegius]

You are referring to personal space and boundaries. It varies among people's instincts, values, experiences and how they interact with each other. Familiarity makes less for space and boundaries, but lack of it goes against it.

[depletable]

I let my legs touch people that sit next to me. I make my space known. I compromise nothing. And I respect when those that I touch when they don't snatch their leg away -- as they're showing me their space not compromised.

[nonoctave]

Good video. This has to do with English culture. Italy, Spain and the Middle East all allow men to touch much more. America and England don't. Studies of infants on this would be unethical, but it has been done on monkeys and no touch produces psychotic monkeys with irreversible brain damage.

[pecadosecreto]

Though I don't agree with you on everything, you're right about the psychological issue that people can suffer. It's called touch deprivation, when you're not kissed or hugged enough.

[battlebauble]

Early, this month I went to the elderly wing of our local hospital with my pastor and conducted a worship service with him for the patients. Talk about people who are needing physical touch. It was all I could do to hold back the tears.

[Iris737]

You make a really good point.

[jseraphim]

The question isn't "two men holding hands vs. two men holding guns", it's "Why aren't there more men holding two hand guns?"

[kayaksta]

when i become very good friends with someone...i become a very touchy person. lol i can be percieved as gay by outsiders because i will usually give my other guy buddies a hug but not a gay hug..lol...well i guess it is a gay hug because people think im gay because of that...grrrr

[tonygem]

This is a great topic theposam. I'm an affectionate guy so I've made an effort in my life to find other folks like me who aren't afraid of touching & hugging. It takes a while, but it's pretty amazing how great it feels to be around people who care about you, but also SHOW it. Thanx.

[urbanimage]

Very interesting video. I think we underestimate just how important human contact and touch is.

Peter

[emphaticapathy]

Isn't our phobia of touch a symptom of a larger societal problem. It's probably down to alienation and fear. So in order to acceot touch we'd have to organize some revolution or something. I'm free next week if you're interested, and i think my dad has a small arsenal of nuclear weapons stashed in his closet.

[spoalanm]

Great video. I actually found myself nodding as you were speaking (in agreement, not falling asleep) which I sometimes do to videos or the radio, but rarely. I really thought you made some excellent points.

[juliusdance]

girls can hug and kiss and not to be consider as lesbians

[dgentile83]

The subway in Boston is wicked sketchy weird people doing weird things.

[themaninnavyblue]

yea i dunno how to say it? i tottaly agree/know what your saying... my old church used to make everyone hug and stuff and i got used to "touching" guys in that way, and when i would do it to my freinds at school they would always freak out and be like "what are you gay?"

[drschnaggels]

I know what you mean.I like to hug people, i do it in most situations as replacement for a thankyou or a handshake or a simple "Hello". But often people feel initimidated by that :(

[thepoasm]

do you ever have it when someone hugs you just two seconds too long? and its somewhat awkward? then you go to get out of the hug...they dont let go, so you have to re-hug another second or two...the rehugging is awkward for me, so i usually do the sway with that...

[tonygem]

this is a great observation. i think over time you become comfortable with yourself & your natural impulses, then you can fall in & out of hugs easily. also your friends will get to the same place.

[Opinionator52]

When I was younger men, while have having conversation may reach out and somewhat affectionately touch or take hold of the others arm or shoulder or arm. I think this behavior that was once common has become more like what you are saying. Now, hand holding, other than an affectionate hand shake is looked at more sexually as we mature. I do miss the time when most of the men I knew would have more contact while conversing... These days there seems to be litigation around every corner!

[thepoasm]

I know! i miss being a little kid and having the freedom to put my arm around the shoulders of my female friends, hold their hands, climb all over my parents...

[heidi1970]

It's sad when I watch an anthroplogical documentary and get nervous just by watching their behavior. I think you've got this one down. Thank for sharing.

[thepoasm]

This vlog was actually my most...impulsive? it wasnt really put together and was quite random....but yeah, in watching documentaries you see a whole different range of attitudes regarding touch, an dits interesting that we get uncomfortable...

[Zepherlove]

this is very true....In America. This is only like this in America. I moved to Argentina, and what your saying does not apply here, America HAS to break that box, because itss going to crush them, i kiss my parents everyday, because i love them. Nice video!

[thepoasm]

Thanks for giving the cross cultural perspective! it is somewaht depressing to think that i feel awkward kissing my own parents..

[Zepherlove]

you are awear of it so you can turn that around if its something you wish to do. I bet they would love that coming from there child.

[heidi1970]

Same here. So messed up. How is your class project going? Feel free to email. ~Heidi

[thepoasm]

its goin, i actually just got through alot of lit reviews so this weekend is all youtube all the time. right now im trying to figure out what authenticity means on youtube...but we just presented at the Sapiens Symposium here at Kansas State. Thanks for asking!

[TheRubicant]

In my honest opinion, I think a man dosen't like to be touched or touch another man because its not natural. It's like trying to plug a usb wire in an electricity plug, it wont work. There is an hormonal connection when a man touch another woman. Of course there are some exceptions in the nature but you can't take these exceptions to make a main point. Not arguing, just saying what I think.

[thepoasm]

Yeah, you can look at it that way. but toch isnt always sexual. in alot of other cultures its totally natural, in children too, i mean theyll crawl all over eachother. but i guess if we take your route, the children havent developed hormones....i dont know...it just blows my mind a bit